Last Post of 2013

Sorry guys I've been so loaft lol...but lemme give you a quick update...Thursday, went out to breakfast with my 2 friend who I haven't seen the entire break...definitely miss them and their company and just the conversations we have...we went to Cora's and it was also Boxing Day so we hit up Markville after for a bit and just walked around, it wasn't that packed surprisingly, I just got a belated Christmas present for my brother. Then that same night there was basketball at church. Friday, honestly can't remember anything but fellowship lol and we had a combined program with the high school fellowship...but that's when my eyes really started hurting and still have been somewhat bothering me lately...so went home right after and went to bed. Saturday I went to the Raptors game with my friend cuz his work gave him 4 free tickets...and they were nice seats too lol. I also grabbed dinner with him before the game and we went to Chipotle, my first time and it was so bomb lol. That night was fun, we won, got free piza and it was Demar Derozan bobblehead night lol. Sunday, another busy day...woke up early after a late night to lead worship. Then after service we had a meeting at 3-6 but I had to leave early at like 5 to pick p some food and go to my softball team reunion dinner...that was real nice but I was so tired the whole night, but def nice to see the team and talk about next year and just chill and have fun together. Monday, was a maaaaad busy day, my friends were talking about skiing before and so we went Monday with 3 of my friends and my friend's brother and dad cuz he had coupons...we went to Dagmar...I haven't been skiing since elementary school but my friends took me to the biggest hills...including black and double black diamond LOOOL...it was sooo fun though. Came back at 5 for a meeting till 7...grabbed some food then came back to church at 8 for ball lol. Today is mad busy, spent the whole day cleaning the house cuz a bunch of people are coming over to celebrate new years...definitely can't wait. Which is why I said this'll probs be the last post of 2013 cuz I'll be busy running around the entire night lol. But it's been a long, hectic but amazing year for a blog...here's to another great year, thanks for everything!

Where There Is A Will...

I remember first getting this book a few years ago...when I was in high school. It's called The Rose That Grew From Concrete...and it's pretty much just a compilation of poems written by 2Pac...this was when I really got into writing and recording music and I was looking for inspiration and came across this...booked it to Chapters and bought it...I still have it to this day kept in great condition and I love it. I often look to it here and there...just for inspiration you know.

MC Jin - Fear Factor feat. Amante Lacey

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas everyone! Man I really do love this time of the year...everyone's together chilling and just having fun. Yesterday I went grocery shopping with 2 friends to prepare for a dinner that night we were having with a few other friends. We went to some Korean grocery store and ended up spending like 3 hours there cuz we had lunch and ended up taking about a bunch of things lol. Afterwards I went home to shower and get ready, headed to my friend's house at like 5-6 ish to go prepare dinner. I didn't really do anything actually LOL...just sat there and watched Fresh Prince and played on my friend's PS3...but the food my friends made was bomb...a bunch of diff korean foods...beef, pork belly, chicken...so bomb lol. Afterwards we all sat around the table and played monopoly haha, definitely a fun time...then sat around a bit longer and talked before all heading home. My friend who dropped me home ended up coming in cuz we saw a bunch of cars at my house, one being his parents...so I guess my parents brought a bunch of their friends home LOL...we ended up gaming for an hour or so and talking about a lot of things, it was really nice. This morning was just a loaft day with the family...I woke up at 2 ish and watched basketball and played video games till like 5...my parents came home from lunch with their friends and we all started prepping dinner together, my uncle came over and we just had hotpot together, now I'm just chilling lol. But yeah...Merry Christmas guys...be safe, have fun and cherish your loved ones around you...it's all you really need. And lastly...remember why we celebrate Christmas...because Jesus came down to earth and died on the cross for us...even though we didn't deserve it...man...thank you Jesus.

MC Jin - Broken Record feat. Caleb

My friend showed me this song a few days ago and it's been on repeat since...

Long Overdue...

I'm sorry lol...I know it's been a while...but honestly, I've been busy...haven't had much time to myself really..when I'm not sleeping, it's meetings, practices, family time and course finding time to chill with everyone who's back in town. Thursday morning my friend came over...he came back from Quebec and I haven't seen him in ages. It was a nice time, we just chilled and played video games...and people actually try to tell me you can't bond through video games...that guys are so intense that we don't even talk. We actually had a great time catching up and he actually invited me to go to a Raptors game on the 28th cuz his company gave him some tickets lol...so yeah, that should be fun. Then at night I had practice at church for the upcoming Christmas program which happened on Saturday. I told you guys I've been sleeping like at 2-3 and waking up at like 1-2 lately...Friday I got up early like 10:30 to meet my friend and we had lunch together. It was definitely nice cuz her and I haven't really been seeing eye to eye lately...so I called her out cuz I felt like we had a bunch of things to talk about and it was real nice cuz it's as if nothing had changed and we ended up talking things out and I honestly feel great about the whole situation, thank you for the reassurance, and for every thing else...I honestly know how much you care but also how hard it is for you to show it sometimes. We then went to the mall and just shopped and walked around cuz she had to get some stuff and I ended up getting a hat lol...talk about impulse decision, but I like it though lol. That whole afternoon was just a nice bonding time for me and her cuz I consider her one of if not my closest female friend...thank you for that. Later that night we had fellowship and it was small group night, so the guys all got together and me and my friend organized this thing where we had a timeline of the year...and pretty much we just collaborated as group to remember some eventful things that happened this year in church, in our lives and in general...it was a nice time of sharing and reminiscing...though not many of us remembered what happened in the beginning of the year lol. Saturday was a busy day cuz we had a practice at 3 till like 5 ish...my friend came over cuz he lives far away and didn't wanna go home and come back at 7 for the program. So we chilled till 7 and got ready for the program at 7:30...it was nice...despite all the stress, little annoying things and what not...ultimately it was all to glorify God and when we all...well me personally...got on stage and we started leading worship...I just let it all go...all that practice, all those times spent working at it...paid off...cuz I was on stage...not just leading worship, but participating in it...giving all of what I had to God. Afterwards, I had to dip right afterat 9 ish cuz my friends were having a potluck at 7...but I told my friend to save me some food cuz he and his brother was cooking so I wanted to try it out. Got there at like 9:30....boy did they make A LOT of food...he had made a turkey, some rice, his bro made this sickkkk pasta...what else...people brought snacks and desserts and other side dishes as well. It was nice to see all of my homies again...from high school, and others who are usually away at university...we played poker, watching ball, played 2k...man it was just such a nice night. Saturday night is also when it started to have freezing rain, sot he roads were mad slippery...got home at like 1 ish. Sunday morning was church like usual...we went out of the house to see the car was completely frozen...literally doors couldn't open, not even just thin ice, but thick ice...I had to like scrape and bang the ice real hard with the scraper thing to get it all off...after church I had to dip worship practice an hour early at 4 to help my friend with something, then we went to BTBC to play some volleyball and basketball with our other friends. We had a gathering that same night as my friends just to chill and such. But yesterday because of the ice storm a lot of places, malls and such didn't have power...but we were lucky enough to have power at his house and it was a real fun night so see all the church homies...especially the ones who are usually away come out...eat, play board games, laugh, joke and just chill and have a good time with fellow brothers and sisters. Today...Monday...was pure rest lol...woke up at 2...literally just loafted and played videogames and watched shows/movies all day...way too exhausted lately. But I love this time of year cuz everyone's back and there's always lots of Christmas parties and gatherings and chill times with homies since everyone's back...so it definitely gets me excited and happy. Tomorrow also got a dinner at a friend's house and probably some more board games and things of that nature lol....

Real Homies

Sorry for the lack of posts...what happens is I think of something I wanna talk about and write a brief thing on my notes in my phone...but usually loaft on actually transferring those topics onto the blog...tho I could blog on my phone lol...it's easier to sit and use a keyboard. But anyways...I think as I've gotten older...one of the biggest changes...is that when things don't go your way...when life throws tough obstacles at you...when you fail...back then, it felt like the end of the world...when I failed a course, when a girl rejected me, when I didn't make a sports team...it was literally the end of the world and I didn't know how to cope with it. But as I've gotten older...I'm learning that tho you can't avoid those kinds of things...that tho they'll always be there...that I have a God who loves me no matter what...that I have friends...and family...who are ALWAYS there for me...to support me and comfort me...and that's a really awesome feeling. Knowing that if things don't work out in whatever the situation, when I'm down, when life feels like it's over...that I have friends who still care and love me...family to go back to for comfort...and a God who doesn't care about all those things...man that's a really great reassurance.

30,000 STRONG

But wait Rodmond...isn't your blog at 180,000 hits...that is correct young grasshopper...30,000 strong,,,was accumulated from our neighbour the United States of America...WOOOOOOOW...like damn...can you believe...I don't even believe it lol. 30,000 of my blog's hits are from America...it hit 30k yesterday. Like wow...honestly, I don't think I know anybody from the States...do I? Nonetheless someone...correction some people apparently have heard of my blog and visit it on a consistent basis. Dang...so this post is specifically to you guys...my friends from the States...thank you for being apart of this with me...for helping me reach this milestone...and for continuing to support me every step of the way. My only wish is that I could interact with you somehow...to personally thank you...whether through twitter or facebook...but if anything, I'll just send my gratitude here...thank you...whoever you are...boy or girl, man or woman...thank you. I appreciate the love.

Big Sean - Memories

Definitely a song that hits home..."cuz in the end all you really have is memories"...

4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

I know it's not the 15th yet...but it's pretty close, so I thought I'd get started on the post and put it out a bit early. But wow...4 years, honestly...I've shared this with you guys numerous times...4 years ago, when I first started this blog...it was just something to do because my friends did it. I did it for a bit, stopped cuz they stopped...but I forget when...I think it was in the 2nd year or something, I got back into it and got more serious about it. But even up until now...sometimes it still boggles my mind how "big" this blog has become. Not big as in like ohhhhhh a million views....or ohhhhh this celebrity has read my blog....but big in terms of just how many people, how many countries this blog has reached...and how many people continue to visit this blog on a consistent basis. I mean...there's nothing special here...just me, sharing my thoughts and view on things...and what goes on in my life. I feel like as of late...the posts have been more serious...well not serious, but just moreso me expressing myself...which is why it's been so lacklustre...and I haven't been posting everyday, because I don't wanna just post for the sake of posting...or post just any random thing. But sometimes there'll be days where I have a lot of talk about or share and some days there won't be lol. My friend made a good comment to me the other day about how my blog has "evolved" over time. And it truly has...for the longest time...my blog...was just me posting music and funny videos and pictures...and maybe talking a bit here and there. But as I've gotten older...as life progressed...things changed I guess...I still do post music and videos here and there...but this blog has become literally an online diary...a diary in a sense where I share what's on my heart, nothing held back (most of the time)...but it's online...where I'm sharing it with friend and stranger...with whoever comes on this blog. I think especially with the new year around the corner, a majority of the rest of the posts this year will be heavily reflection based...with some other things along the way. But it'll be nice just to reminisce through 4 years of existence. But wow...honestly, I've said it so many times that it's probably stale by now...but thank you to you guys...genuinely and honestly...a big part of this blog is me just simply expressing myself...but a big motivating factor is you...the viewer who constantly comes back and reads long posts like these lol. I know I said I had a big surprise for the 4th year anniversary...but time got the best of me and I was really busy with a lot of things...but it's stilml in the process...and maybe I'll finish it in time for 200,000 hits. But now...thank you...for supporting me through the good and the bad...for doubting me...for walking down this path with me...seeing me grow, seeing this blog grow into what it is today. But honestly...who knows what it'll become in a year...in 5 years...if I'll even still be doing it...but regardless...all I know is, I'm gonna continue to put my heart and soul into this blog...because it's me...and it represents everything I am, everything I stand for and everything I love...and of course everything that goes on in my head and everything that's in my heart. Thank you guys...cheers to another year of memories.

Preconceived Notions: Rap Music

I think one of my biggest pet peeves is this association that rap music is "bad" altogether. I feel like people have this preconceived notion that all rap is about guns, sex, drugs, money and violence...and for the most part, it is...well at least the garbage they play on the radio and show on TV. But it irks me cuz people seem to like to categorize me with rap music or hip-hop...cuz I guess I dress/act the part? And because rap music is viewed so negatively...so I get the short end of the stick as well. I feel like when people listen to rap music...they already have this thought in the back of their minds that it's going to be bad, it's garbage...so when they listen to it...they don't turn their ears into like police mode...where they specifically listen to pick out those topics I listed and swear words just to be like I told you it was a bad song. That annoys me a great deal...because real rap songs...that talk about substance and real issues...yeah they may have some swear words in it...but that doesn't make the entire song bad...that doesn't automatically mean he's talking about something bad. I think it's annoying when my church friends tell me rap music is bad and I shouldn't listen to it...but they'll go listen to people like Taylor Swift, One Direction...I know rappers have nothing and no association with that kind of music...but what makes Taylor Swift better than say J. Cole or Kendrick Lamar...because she doesn't swear? Because her songs are catchy? Not even trying to hate on Taylor Swift...I'm just trying to make a point...that because rap songs have swear words, all of a sudden they're labelled worse than other songs that talk about the same kinds of garbage. I dunno man...I guess rap music and hip hop is one of the biggest things that got me into writing in the first place as well...just the word play...the substance...the way they use words, rhymes and poetry to express themselves...I found that so cool.

RT - Best You Never Heard

Still remains my favourite and also my first track that I ever legit recorded with my homie...it means a lot to me...the lyrics especially. With the blog's 4th anniversary in 2 days...I've just been reminiscing a lot...like man it's been a while...4 years...wow. None the less, check it out if you haven't already...

Unexplainable Feeling...

I don't wanna call it an emptiness...but I've been talking to a bunch of friends lately...and things have been feeling different as of late...not a necessarily good or bad different, just a weird different. I'm talking specifically about church I guess...things have just felt empty in a sense...a few of my friends have said that maybe it's because everyone's away at university and that things'll be different when everyone's home. I hope so...that maybe when we have all these gatherings and times of bonding...things will feel better. But for some reason, things feel different...I was just talking to my friend and she put it in a way I've never heard it before...everyone's in it for themselves...no one's really looking out for each other and caring for each other. God, I'm just praying this Christmas break...we'll have opportunities to have community, fellowship and unity. Every year we always have a bunch of gatherings, play board games, Christmas, new years...pretty sure we'll probs do that, but things just feel different...I hope it's not though. Last week a few of my friends came back from university since they're done exams...and man it was just a nice feeling...like old times, deja vu. At the same time, I guess I shouldn't be too selfish cuz I was talking to the same friend and she goes really far away for university...so what she's feeling must be incredibly hard...that sense of "home"...being far away and when she is home...it's not even for that long...God I pray for this break to just be a fun, relaxing and God glorifying time together. I know it won't be by my power or anyone else's that we bond this break and what not...but all by Your grace and Your power and Your plan.

Getting Started...

I don't know why getting started seems to be one of if not the hardest part when it comes to completing a task. Whether that's cleaning your room, writing an essay, writing a card, writing a poem/verse, planning things...getting started always seems to be the hardest part. Like cleaning my room for example...my parents will nag me every single day to clean my room and it's actually the biggest hassle to get started, but say I get bored one day, jamming to music, start folding some clothes here and there and bam...next thing you know I'm cleaning my room lol. Or...in this example which has been relevant in my and probably a lot of your lives...staring at that blank screen or blank page thinking of what to write for your essay...but when you finally do put down something that makes sense, the words just begin to flow naturally and you can't stop. It literally is like a snowball effect lol. Some more recent examples in my life were worship night that happened a few weeks ago and the Christmas program in a few weeks...before any practice got started, I was stressed as heck cuz there was so much to discuss and finalize, but when we finally started practising and getting the ball rolling, things just began to flow naturally. My favourite example however is writing a verse or writing poetry...often when people ask me or tell me they want me to write or perform something, that ain't usually how it works for me...which is usually why it takes me so long or there'll be long hiatuses where I put nothing out. Cuz I'm the type of person who just writes when something comes to my head...but when something does come to my head, I won't stop, I'll actually keep going until I finish. So when people ask me how long it takes to write a verse or a rap...I honestly tell them a few days....literally I write most of them in a day because it's fresh in my head, I'm inspired and I'm motivated...the rest of the time is usually if I get any more inspiration to add or change it in case I feel something sounds better. But yeah...getting started seems to be the hardest process...like when a snowball falls down a hill...it starts small and doesn't seem like bunch and may take a while...but eventually, after a bit of time, it gets bigger and starts rolling faster...so yeah lol

JR Aquino - Take My Hand

Definitely one of my favourite youtubers...jamming to his covers tonight...

Prayer Journal: Day 13

I know it's definitely been a while since I've done this, but I've been keeping up with it...in my head at least, I've definitely been praying for a lot of people as of late.

Jyyu: I hope you're doing okay brother, it's been a while. I pray that you continue to surround yourself with people who will keep you accountable and always bring you back to God, I miss you bud,

Asyn: I'm truly so happy and so proud of you, honestly there's not much else that I can say. We'll catch up and talk soon. Continue to grow and embrace God's love and grace, He is above all your hardships and struggles, trust Him always.

Slma: I hope all is well with you brother, I definitely miss your down to earth personality and our conversations for sure. I pray that wherever God leads you, you continue to glorify Him in all your actions and tasks. Stay safe brother.

Sewu: Thanks, for always being there. There's so many things that I've never told you, but you are honestly someone I absolutely love talking to. Thank you for always being there, for always listening and for always being open and honest with me as well. I know your faith is somewhat shaky atm, but I'm praying for you, praying that you will let God lead you and guide you in all your ways.

Cllm: Whatever is on your mind and in your heart...is between you and God. Ultimately, no one anything says or does should affect your decision. But I'm praying for you, and I'm pulling for you. Nothing will ever change between us regardless of what happens. You've always been an inspiration to me and I know you'll do what glorifies God the most. You and I will always have a special connection that no one, even I will never understand, but that's what I love about our friendship.

Gyli: Those words you said to me will always stick with me, and I appreciate it greatly. I'm glad that I can be that inspiration for you, but honestly I still have my struggles and things I go through as well...so I pray that you find Jesus, who will never let you down, someone you can not only look up to but cling to, no matter how hard life gets.

Change...

So I've been thinking a lot lately...about myself. Like I've been having conversations with a few people lately just about the past and the old times. And all of them have said I've changed...a lot. And that got me thinking to just my elementary and my high school days...and I have changed. For the most part...I would sum myself up as the dude in the crew who you'd never notice, but he was always there. I think I've definitely become more confident and outspoken as a person, still shy, but who isn't around some people. But I've definitely shed that shell that I used to hide in in high school for sure. My friend was like yeah man...just think about how honest and open you are on twitter or you blog...or even just posting videos on youtube...that takes guts. And I thought about it more and more lol...I remember first posting youtube videos in high school and I was deathly afraid. Even posting notes on facebook...my first ever note that I wrote...I got my friend to post it for my cuz I was scared about what people would say and how they'd react. But now to me it's like whatever lol...saying what I feel and what is on my mind just comes natural now. Things like singing on stage or rapping on stage...well I'd never even consider it back then...but now I actually relish the opportunity and look forward to it, though the fear of forgetting my lyrics will always be there. But looking back to the kind of person I was back then, I've definitely grown...in a good way, and I'm definitely proud of who I am.

Brotherly Bonding

So my parents were out one night and me and my brother were eating dinner in the kitchen and we were reminiscing about our old house. I remember how my mom took my brother's room to use as a work room for her clients, so what we did was put a mantress in my room and my brother slept on the floor and I slept on my bed...lol I can't remember how long we shared a room for...but it was a real long time. We used to have the most jokes talks...I remember one thing we used to do was listen to the radio. This was before music was as advanced as it was now. But I remember every weekday, though I had school the next day, we would stay up till 12:30 for project bounce, this radio show that played underground rap and hip hop for half an hour lol...man those were good times. We would always play random games we made up...like one was pretty much guess the initials of the NBA player and you only had 3 tries and you could ask only yes or no questions for clues. So for example if I said the initials were VC and he said Vince Carter he'd be right. I remember the funniest one I ever gave him was RV...and he never guessed it...he spent a good portion of the night bothering me about it...I remember only seeing a flash of his name on some basketball videogame but his name stuck with me cuz it was so random. I told him his name was Ratko Varda LOOOL...we were dying for the longest time...man...those were the days. I guess I've just also been thinking about the future...and what'll happen...or rather how things'll be when say he moves out...or I move out...it'll be weird, not having him there, it'll feel empty that's for sure.

Words Of Wisdom

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

My friend said this to me just now...and man did it ever hit home. If you never take the shot...you already miss because you're never even giving yourself that opportunity to succeed. This is a reminder for me...in everything in my life...that if I don't take that chance, I'll never know and always have that what if in the back of my mind. He then told me...what have you got to lose...and really what do I have to lose in my current situation. Honestly, that conversation with him was really helpful...it was definitely exactly what I needed...like literally exactly...I'm still kinda blown away at how every word he said literally hit home. I've only told him and my other friend about this...haven't even told you guys. But any ways...back to the quote...it's true you know...whether trying out for a team, trying to lose weight, asking a girl out...anything...if you don't even try...you're selling yourself short...you're labelling yourself a failure before anything has even happened. If you try...if you take the shot...so you miss...bounce back and take another shot. Same with life...if you fail, bounce back and go at it again. I guess in life...me especially...we're afraid of failure, of rejection, of not being good enough...but man...that quote honestly gave me strength. Thank you.

God's Will vs My Will

I know God provides...but as humans...naturally...for me at least...sometimes you just wanna do things for yourself, get things, earn things for yourself. It's hard...to let it all go...knowing that God will provide for me...a future, a job, an income, a wife, a family...all that...but sometimes, I get caught up in my own life and my own needs, desires and wants that I try to take things into my own hands. There's been something specific that's been going on lately that brought me to talk about this...but I pray that God will guide me through this...that only in His timing...it'll happen. God, you already know how I'm feeling...and you already know what I want and how long I feel like I've waited or been waiting at least...God grant me the patience...that your time and my time will come eventually...that it'll all work out. I know you are so faithful and I know that you will provide...and that I can't jump the gun on this and try to take in into my own hands...so help me God...I'm struggling.

Random Acts Of Kindness

This story was brought back to my attention a few days ago lol...but pretty much in my second year...I remember I was selling my textbook for like $100 or something like that and I met this dude at the mall. He gave me the money and I gave him the book and we went our separate ways...when I counted the money, I realized he had given me too much...$50 too much, he had given me an extra $50...the new bills were sticky and I guess he didn't notice. So I remember calling him back like 5 min after we exchanged books/money and I was like yeah...you kinda gave me too much money lol...so he came back and I gave him back the $50. It's funny cuz apparently we had a lot of mutual friends and I ended up meeting him again and officially through my other friend and we're still cool to this day. It's funny cuz I saw him the other day and he brought it up and he was like yeah man when that happened I told everybody cuz I couldn't believe it...lol...I can't believe he remembers something like that. Not to like toot my own horn...but when I saw it, I didn't hesitate, to me it wasn't even a decision, like he had already gave me $100+ for the textbook and I didn't think twice, my first instinct was oh, he gave me too much, I should call him. But yeah...I guess just little things like that where you don't see as a big deal, other people might. That's just a little reminder to me that...when you do things, don't expect anything in return, doing something good should be rewarding in itself. Thanks, gratification, appreciation and anything else is just a bonus.

Dear God

Thought I'd share this with you guys...there's also an interesting story behind it as well. Pretty much for worship night this past Saturday, while we were practising like weeks before...my friend had asked me to rap and I at first was like sure, but then assumed he was joking cuz he never ended up really giving me a legit answer. So when we ended up practising, they ended up confirming like yeah you are gonna do a rap lol. So I remember that same night, I couldn't sleep it was like 12 am or something and I was like hey...why not start writing...and I ended up finishing the whole thing and didn't change it at all cuz I actually liked how it turned out. I performed it this past Saturday, too bad I couldn't get someone to record it for me...but I think one of my friends has some footage, but anyways, here's the 16 for you guys...

Dear God, I don't understand
Help me strive to be what You see as a Godly man
You say we're called to be the salt and light of all the land
But God I'm weak and it feels hard, so I don't think I can
A question burning in my head is do I trust Your plan
That one day we'll be sitting humbly at Your right hand
Your grace and mercy are the reason why my feet stand
And Your gospel is the reason I'm a free man
So may Your light shine through us like a glass wall
And may Your love be the reason why we stand tall
So I can boldly praise Your name with no fear at all
And conquer the highest mountains with no fear to fall
I know with God by our side we shouldn't fear a thing
Because He's greater than the sins that the devil brings
Eyes closed I walk by faith, I know that I'll be fine
Because the light of the whole wide world shines

Announcement And Apology

So I know I promised a special project that would be revealed on Dec 15, the anniversary of the blog...but things got out of hand...still got a lot left on my schedule to finish up and there's like 13 days, doesn't look like I'll have enough time to finish it...seeing as I haven't even started yet, I'm sorry lol I just haven't been able to find the time. But I hopefully WILL have it out before the new year...lol I'm sorry...but I hope that when I do share it with you guys, you enjoy it, thanks!

Big K.R.I.T. - Bigger Picture

Peace Of Mind

I'm at a really good place right now. Today was worship night and man...I just really felt God's presence...in me, in the worship team, in the message and in the congregation, it brought so much joy to my heart, God is so good. Yesterday I also had a chance to have lunch with a friend who is usually away at school...it was real nice to just catch up and share with each other, I really view him as someone I can trust and depend on. As well tonight after worship night a few of us went to lunch and after I had a chance to catchup with a friend in her car after...it was real nice...I've always felt a different connection with her...no matter how long we go not talking or seeing each other, when we do see each other and talk...it's honestly as if nothing's changed....I still feel comfortable opening up and bein honest with her and vice versa. She's someone I know well enough that I can tell how she's feeling just my looking at her face. But yeah....God is good...with worship night behind me...that's one big thing off my plate....now there's only one exam on Thursday, Christmas program and one other personal thing I really hope to address before I can fully ring in the new year in peace. Thank you God for always being faithful and loving.

Travis Garland - Didn't Stand A Chance

"What you think of me conflicts what you feel for me."

Clearing My Plate...

So honestly...all I've been about lately is school, church, basketball and Breaking Bad lol...no gym, no friends...no nothing. Haven't had time for any of that. But things are getting better...had my first of two exams today and it was an hour and a half but I finished in half an hour. It was an essay on either Casablanca, Simpsons or Advertising in Media...I wrote on the Simpsons...so confident I killed it. What else...the combined program with my church and the church we're branched from is this Saturday...but I've had a sore throat for like 3 days...we had practice yesterday and it was kinda rough...sang pretty softly, but things are looking good so far. Got one class Thursday, church program on Saturday, exam next Thursday and I'm officially on Christmas break. Last Sunday was my last week of teaching Sunday school...so that's another load off my plate...practice for the Christmas program on the 21st has been going smoothly and I'm def happy about that cuz my friend and I have been pretty much dividing the load and I really appreciate that. But as of right now...it's clear sailing till Christmas and New Years...BUT...I kinda...haven't started the project at all for the 4th anniversary of the blog coming up...not sure if I'll finish it in time...but I really do wanna do it, it's just time management is hard...sorry.

Feeling The Stress

Def somewhat feeling overwhelmed as of late...got so many worship practices going on that it don't even remember which songs are from which set...and I barely have had any time to study for my test on Tuesday, good thing it's an essay and they're giving us 3 questions to choose from. After that my last exam is on Dec 5th and I'm free. Combined church program on Nov 30, what we've been practicing for...then Christmas program on Dec 21 where we perform again..but hopefully I'll feel better after Dec 5 when mostly everything is off my plate. Literally have had no time to myself or my friends...unless I play ball or see them at school...so I know I've been lackluster but at the same time you could always hit me up. I've just been in my own zone as of late...all this work, coordinating, planning and stress has got me feeling all types of ways...definitely very moody as of late...and the only thing really getting me through it is basketball and Breaking Bad...haven't even been consistent with my workouts. I've just been mad moody...but that's a topic for another day I guess.

Trey Songz - Holla If Ya Need Me

God's Grace

It's only by God's grace, mercy and love that I am here before you today...21 years of life, of family and friends who support and love me. You know right now is just a tough time with school and lots of planning and coordinating for church stuff...it's pretty stressful, then there's the personal things like friendship and family and stuff...but that's the ups and downs of life. As hard as life is...I'm so thankful to God for the simple things in life that I take granted sometimes...the simple things in my life...that others would see as blessings. God has guided me through and given me the strength and boldness to make it and be where I am today. And I know and am confident that he'll continue to be with me...even when I turn my back and close the door on him...he's always there. God I know I've been slacks lately...in prayer...in devos...and I know every single day you are trying to pull me back to you...and no matter how hard I resist, you never have and never will give up on me. I think about all the hardships in the past...and how at the time it seemed unbearable and the toughest time of my life...but I look at my life now and go that was nothing. So I'm confident that this will be the same...that all my stresses and struggles right now...I'll look back on it and won't even remember it lol.

Dear God

I'm scared God...of the future, of life, of being independent, of whether or not things will be okay. I know worrying is a lack of faith, so God...may you teach me to trust You, to trust in Your Word and most of all to trust in Your plan. God I know no matter how many times I fail you, disobey you, sin against you an go against your word...that you still love me and are with me. God you've always been there to guide me through tough and difficult times...and I know that'll never change. God give me the courage to boldy and confidently live my life glorifying you knowing that you will provide enough. God give me peace, surround me with your love and fill my heart with joy. Thank you God...for being so faithful and loving...always.

Lecrae - Hang On

Finding Joy In Stressful Times...

Lately I've been really busy and somewhat stressed with a lot of planning and coordinating with church stuff, school and of course the everyday issues that come and go...it's been slowly but surely eating away at me...from my energy to just my patience and my happiness you know. The more you dwell on stress and how hard your current situation is, the worse you feel. So my church is having a combined program with the church we're branched from and my friend and I are organizing it and we're both also on the worship team. The program is at the end of November and we had only one practice before yesterday and I wasn't able to make it, so I was feeling a bit worried as to if we'd be prepared in time. So yesterday, I spent most of the day listening to the songs cuz they picked a bunch of songs that I'm unfamiliar with and like an hour or two before practice, just sitting in my room listening to the songs...it gave me peace, it gave me joy...just closing my eyes and really meditating on the lyrics...it gave me peace, despite how anxious I've been lately about everything, it was really nice. We had practice yesterday and it was just amazing being able to fellowship with my fellow brothers and sisters through song and worship. They told me they wanted me to rap and I had been informed about it before by my friend, but I thought he was joking, so I brushed it off, but today they confirmed they actually want me to do it lol. So yesterday night literally at like 1-2 am...I couldn't sleep and I was like hey let's try to get started on this...and I ended up finishing the whole thing in like an hour...and I actually really like it and don't see myself changing it around too much, so I might just stick with it. I swear...God's really been working in my and revealing Himself to me as of late...and reminding me that all this...all the so called stress and "work"...is all for His glory...to advance His kingdom and His gospel...and that...that gave me joy...it was a nice reminder.

"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."

- Philippians 1:12-18

To My Future Wife...

Two feet in the circle when you say you're ride or die

Together we'll go through failures and we'll celebrate the highs

My whole world begins to make sense when I look into your eyes

Because I finally get to pour out all these feelings kept inside

You sitting staring at me smiling with your hair untied

Our eyes meet, I know the love inside our hearts will soon collide

You don't understand how many times my heart broke inside

So when you tell me I should trust you, man it's hard because I've tried

You don't know how many sleepless nights I spent because I cried

Because the girl I thought I loved wasn't really down to ride

Don't show me with your words but with the love that you provide

And maybe one day we'll be walking down that aisle side by side

Just staring at your eyes, knowing that we have our lives...together

Your heart was the prize, just knowing you're by my side...forever

I tell you you're the one I've dreamed about all of my life

A shadowy figure but I always knew you were my future wife

The one I'm meant to spent all of my life with

The patience paying off as I'm given this nice gift

Of a good girl who'll always be there when I say need her

Polite and well mannered but her lips are much sweeter

I don't ever have to share what's on my mind because she knows

Our connection is so deep, I can see her with my eyes closed

She'll be my best friend, homie and my lover

Words really can't explain the love I'll have for her

Because this ain't the present, this a prayer for the future

That I'll find the one and truly know that I'm the perfect suitor

This is dedicated to the girl of my dreams

Hoping one day I'll find love and understand what it means

Throwback Thursday

I wrote this in 2010...I was looking at my old Facebook notes and stumbled upon this. I read it to myself out loud and I really loved the flow I had in mind and the lyrics...at the end of the post you can't see it cuz it wouldn't fit but I put that it was unfinished it and that I might finish it someday. I think someday has finally come because I really like where I was going with this...

Happy Birthday Mom!

The reason why I work so hard, my strength, my inspiration. I love you mom.

My Animal Counterpart

A lot of the times in get to know you sessions or when people ask questions about you...they often ask what's your favourite animal or what animal do you feel represents you. Most people would choose common animals...dogs, cats, lions, tigers...whatnot. And for a good part and even up to this point, I would choose something like a lion or something cool like a shark or a wolf. I would identify with a wolf cuz I'm like a loner at times but at the same time I have my crew or my wolf pack lol.. But today after crossfit I was sitting there and for some reason, this came into my head and I'm like wow...this animal represents me and probably a lot of people, but definitely me. I feel like the animal that represents me the best...is a...turtle...LOOOOOL. Let me explain, not being slow or whatever...but like I'll chill and be cool and be in my comfort zone. But then when things get awks or I'm out of my comfort zone, I'll like withdraw and hide in my shell...lol I dunno why that defines me so well...and probably a lot of people. But for me, I'll be out of my shell, chilling and being cool and talkative...but then I can withdraw and "protect" myself at any time I want lol...

Jhene Aiko - The Worst

The People You Surround Yourself With

Who you surround yourself with greatly affects how you feel, your attitude, what you say, how you act. And I'm so thankful and appreciate that I have the best people I could possibly ask for. I have people who are younger than me, who still manage to teach me things, and also allow me to teach them and mentor them with whatever experience I have. And moreso as of late...I have a bunch of older friends who have been through what I'm going through, who have more life experience than me...to guide me so I don't make the same mistakes they did, people I can go to when I have worries or concerns, people who genuinely care for me. I really love those people who can just see it on my face that something's wrong and will ask me what's wrong. A lot of the things I'm stressed with right now are all on me...and it's just something I have to figure out for myself and God. But the rest of it...I'm really glad to have been able to have nice conversations as of late with a bunch of friends...who I respect and have been able to give me lots of insight and guidance on a  lot of things lately. I'm at a good spot right now...I don't have everything figured out, I'm still struggling...but I'm at a good place.

Beth Music - Hold On We're Going Home (Drake Cover)

Privacy Please

You know as vocal and expressive as I am on this blog and on twitter...as honest as I am as well...I don't say completely everything that's on my mind...cuz I don't wanna hurt feelings, don't wanna get in trouble, and things of the sort. Sometimes, I just wish I could speak my mind, no borders whatsoever. I know some of you might say well this is your blog you can say whatever you want. Yeah, but I know who goes on my blog...well some people at least...and I don't wanna offend people or stir up unnecessary conflict...it's just not me. Sometimes, I wish everything I was thinking could just all be laid out in the open...cuz sometimes it's hard to put my thoughts into words. I dunno man...lately, it's been a struggle to find comfort...I've been feeling on my own on a lot of things as of late...or even the things I do I've been feeling unnoticed, unappreciated and undervalued. I know it's probs partly me isolating myself...but I dunno, I can't be feeling this for no reason right...I've just been pretty much sticking to myself lately...not really sharing what's really been on my mind with anyone...cuz honestly, even I don't know lol. I guess I'm just waiting for someone to ask the right question...or approach me at the right time...who knows. Deep down, inside every quiet or shy person...they just really wanna be cared for and whatnot...I learned that through experience, trust me.

Guest Writer #6: Heartlocked

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B
Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know

I hate that you'll never know how much I care about you, you claim you do but I know you don't. And even if you did, you'd still never understand it. I don't even know what it is about you...compared to other girls, there's just something different about you that sparks something in me...that makes me want to go out of the way for you, even if you don't reciprocate it. That's probably one the of biggest things you don't and never will understand. How I feel like I put so much into this friendship and you don't reciprocate. That's not to say I do things solely to get a reaction from you, I do it because I genuinely care, but sometimes...it'd be nice if you did something for me, texted me first, approached me first, little things like that help friendships progress. I know it seems like I'm always cold to you...but I promise there's always a reason, I don't just intentionally ignore you for the sake of it...it kills me, but again you'll never know or understand that. I hate that I always get caught...trapped in your web, in your personality, in your smile, in your laugh...I hate myself for it, but I can't hate you, I don't think I ever could. As much as you annoy me...I couldn't. My biggest gripe is that I reflect and I think about all the things I've done for you and all the effort I put into this friendship to show you that I care...sometimes I just want something in return you know. Yeah, deep down I know you care...but it's kinda like faith and deeds, sometimes you have to back up your talk you know. And not to nitpick...but I don't even think you've ever given me a birthday card or a christmas card none the less...and I look back at all the things I've done or got for you, all the time and energy and effort I've thrusted onto you. And I know we're not in a relationship, so I have no right to ask any of these things from you...and as a friend, you should give without expecting anything in return...but sometimes you get so exhausted and drained if all you do is give and give and give and the other person just takes and takes and takes...the person who gives is eventually going to have nothing left. I've told you how I felt before about all these things, about you, about us...and it hasn't changed, that last time you asked me that question...the answer is still the same, you don't have to worry...but just because there's nothing between us doesn't mean you can just throw me aside you know. I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore. Some of you guys might think I'm expecting too much...or I'm thinking too much...or I'm going crazy...and maybe I am, but the evidence is there...or not there at least. The question I ask myself is have there been any stand out points in our friendship where you've shown me how much you cared about me? You don't even need to flip that back onto me cuz there are MANY. But yeah...I guess that's why I've been distancing myself a lot from you lately....because it hurts...and I wanna see if I mean enough for you to reach out to me for once, we'll see. It's been a long time since we've sat down and had a legitimate conversation...and I remember all the things you said to me the last time. Another thing is that I always seem to have to be the one to ask you to chill...and the last time you said next time...and here we are, it never happened. Just little things like that you know...it shows...how much you care about someone, it shows in your effort, in your action...not just your words. But again...all of these things, I don't expect you to ever know...and much more understand.

Patiently Waiting...

I'm waiting for that day that I'll have one bold guest writer who'll use their real name LOL. It's not that big a thing...but like...be honest, be confident in your opinions and in who you are you know...obv I know some things are personal, but at the same time, this is you, this is who you are and what you stand for, don't be ashamed of that lol. Also, if you wanna write for my blog, don't be afraid to ask me...there's been 5 guest writers so far...4 of them I asked myself...the 5th one who was also the first guest writer approached me first...and he asked me...so yeah, if you're interested, shoot me a message. But yeah, be bold...be confident, this is you.

Jhene Aiko - Bed Peace feat. Childish Gambino

Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B

The World We Live In

We live in a world... where we are ushered into to become adults while still having a child's mentality. Four years after highschool, we have to determine what we want to do with our lives. I mean for some people, they know exactly what they want to do and I mean to all the power to you. But a lot of us are in constant contemplation if the program we are in will actually work out for us. To be quite honest, I was in the same boat. Three years into a program completed, had a year and a bit left. But the constant worries of whether or not what I was doing would land me a great job, made me look elsewhere because in today's job market... there isn't that many jobs at all. My plan was law school and teachers college, but with the amount of teachers that have lost their jobs... makes you question will I ever find a good job. Which is why I transitioned into a completely different program, leaving close friends behind which I rarely see anymore which I miss their company immensely but I had to what was best for me.... Some may question why I changed programs when I had like a year left. I mean yeah your're right but at the same time, I value TIME more than MONEY any day. Cause with money you can always make that back, but a second goes by and you can never make that back... Which is why I made that decision.I know a lot of my friends who graduated from university, but went back for school because there wasn't any jobs available for them. Which is why I made the decision to change programs all together, so my advice to anyone who reads this... is actually use the time you have now to think about what you want to do with your lives... cause once you let that second go by... There is no way its coming back... like 2pac said... "You see the old way wasn'tworking so it's on us to do..what we gotta do to survive/

LOL of the Moment

The Struggle...The Motivation

So today I pretty much spent the whole day with my mom doing errands, grocery shopping and driving her around...things like that. We were able to talk a lot and it definitely put my life into perspective concerning a lot of things. She was talking to me about bills and the mortgage and how she's really busy and stressed along with my dad about all these things...and it really hit my heart you know...it just emphasized all the things they do, all the effort they put in, all the time they spend and sacrifice...isn't for themselves...isn't so they can live a luxurious life...but it's for me...it's always been for me and my brother. My mom and dad know about me not doing so well in school and wanting to switch programs and as well staying an extra year to graduate then go to teacher's college or something...and with my brother not having complete university...it puts a lot of weight on my shoulders...and I myself put a lot more weight on my shoulders...not to be better than my brother...but to make my parents proud...to graduate...hand them that certificate...get a stable job and be able to help them out with bills and everything. They do all these things to make my life easier...and my biggest wish and hope is that they are able to see me grow up...graduate...get a job...get married...start a family...and take care of them...I would be so happy to be able to have my parents see me go through all that...today was just a really nice day with my mom to just bring me back down to earth and remind me how blessed I am.

Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC

To be 100% honest I don't think you can ever get over someone. Once you share a connection, one sided or not, you just can't leave. I think sure, the amount that you like them surely decreases but there is a part of you that will always have them in your heart. I think I still have feelings for my first crush up till now. No matter what, I know that I will always support him and encourage him if he ever needs it. That goes for any of the boys that I've ever liked. No I can't call it love but I definitely know that there's still something left in my heart for them. I think that's what is most difficult about looking for the person to spend the rest of your life with. A part of your heart still cares for that someone else that at one point in time you thought you could be with forever. What does it really mean to "get over" someone? And how do you really do that? Simply moving onto someone else really doesn't do the trick. Is it right to keep these feelings in your heart even after all this time? And if it's wrong, how do you get rid of them? I simply cannot understand. I'm not going to lie, I still get nervous when my fourth grade crush talks to me. I confessed my long overdue feelings to him in his yearbook in senior year...Haha I must be crazy. But I think that just because I harbour feelings of the recollection of times spent together, doesn't mean I still like them. Ah, I think I just answered my own question haha.

LOL of the Moment

Mac Miller - Missed Calls

Heart To Heart To Heart

As of late, I've had a chance to have some really nice conversations with a few close homies. One instance came last week when me and the homie I've known since elementary school had a chance to catch up cuz we hadn't seen each other in a while...it was nice, to talk about school, our lives...how we're on the verge of graduating and our friends are like taking graduation pictures or things like that. Talking about life after university...working, settling down, getting married...and just reminiscing, to when we first met...to elementary school...to high school...to now...and it's been crazy, it was just nice to know that after all these years we're still close. Another instance came yesterday when me and my friend from church sat down at mcdonalds and just talked about everything from school to fellowship to problems to the future...it was nice because if you rewind to like 4-6 months ago...him and I were never that close...nor would I have imagined we would have become that close...but it's been nice...yesterday was really nice because we were really open and honest with each other and that's what a good relationship is built on, so thank you for that. The last one...is from this homie who I've been seeing a lot of lately...this homie...takes me back lol, we first met...and hated each other...and now, we're pretty close friends I'd say. I went to his house a week ago to chill and talk and stuff...it's always nice just walking down memory lane with him. Then he came over a few days ago to game...we gamed from 11 pm to 1 in the morning and then we ended up chilling and looking through people's facebook profiles till 4 am LOL....from looking at cute girls, to looking at people we used to know or go to high school with and things of the sort...LOL, man that was really fun. Then yesterday, him and I went to visit our old elementary school teacher who moved schools and we ended up walking in on his volleyball practice and ended up playing with the team LOOOOL...that def took both of us back to elementary school because he was our volleyball coach back then and def left a significant impact on the both of us...so just going back...tho it wasn't our school...to our teacher...someone we look up to...someone who became more than a teacher, but a friend...it was really comforting for me.

Guest Writer #3: TC

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You

First off, I just really want to thank Rodmond for letting me use his blog and just express some of the things that have really been on my mind lately. I think ever since I have gone off to university I have just fallen so far away from god. He’s something that almost non-existant to me, someone that I talk about occasionally, but never truly experience myself. Something that really hit me, but something I always knew was what Jefferson Bethke said. Can you really say that you have a loving relationship with god, someone that you love and know, like your wife and your friends? In these recent weeks I have just been awoken by a lot of the messages and things that have surrounded me, however I still have one feet in the world. I want to get closer to god, I want to glorify him. However, at the same time I’m still so tempted by the things of this world, success, partying, pride, etc. I think that one thing that was just really awoken my thirst for god, is this one girl. I don’t know her all that well, and I just recently met her at a party. I thought she was so cute, and that I would love to meet her. However, later on I found out that she is a Christian, and is one that is actually committed to Christ. Here I am drinking and doing things that may not be pleasing to god, and here is a godly women that seeks Christ. I think that really showed me that if I ever wanted to get into a relationship with her, or another god seeking women, I really need to evaluate myself first. I need to change a lot of my ways and prepare myself to be the right man. Because when the time comes, and god has blessed me with the person that I will spend the rest of my life, I want to be ready, I want to be able to “love my wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” –Ephesians 5:22-33. I want to grow in Christ together with her, rather than making her stumble. I want to be the godly man that god envisioned in the scriptures. Someone that can keep his heart pure in times of temptations, has integrity, works hard, devotes himself to god, and never give up. I want be the man that she can grow together in Christ with.

-TC

The Future Is...

This picture really puts things into perspective...I'm in my senior year...and I'm staying back one year before I graduate...but damn, this is intense...seeing my friends getting ready to graduate, taking their grad pics...oh man

Pet Peeves

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people spell my name wrong...especially when we're friends or you've known me for a long time LOL...or when you spell my name wrong on like msn or twitter or something when it's right in front of you...like actually. On the flip side, another one is pronouncing my name wrong lol...happened way too many times in high school lol. People have spelled my name so many different ways lol...Rodman, Redmond, Raymond, Rodmund...I've been called so many different names...Roger...Rodney...Raymond...Rod-man...like c'mon cuh...

Lloyd Banks - I Don't Deserve You feat. Jeremih

The Quiet Guy

This is more of a public service announcement lol...cuz I've been there and I've done that, so I know what it's like. Some will argue I'm still like that, but compared to before, I've come a long way. I don't consider myself a quiet guy, I consider myself a shy guy/reserved guy in certain environments and around certain people lol. But yeah, when I see people who are quiet or people who keep to themselves, don't approach anyone and no one approaches them...it reminds me of me...and I see myself in them...and because I know what it's like, I sorta know what they think. For me at least...when I was super quiet...I know I put up a front and I have this really mean face and demeanour, but secretly I wanted someone to approach me and I wanted someone to talk to me. I just didn't know how to show it or express myself. Because I've been there and done that and am somewhat over that phase...I really do wanna do my part to try to reach out to those who are quiet because I don't want them to have to go through the same things as me lol...but yeah, that's just my schpeal...I've realized my blog posts this month are under average...well not average cuz I don't know what the average is, but I mean I have less posts than the day of the month it is...meaning there's been like less than 1 post per day lol...

Big Sean - All Figured Out

My Happy Place

Your happy place is somewhere you go to...when you're scared, afraid, stressed, those kinds of things. I remember when I first watched Happy Gilmore and Happy goes to his happy place to relax and de-stress. I have a few happy places...but my OG happy place...something that always gives me peace, is really random. Okay, I remember in elementary school when I was like less than grade 4...we had this assembly and don't ask why...but they were showing us movies...so the first movie was called the Red Room...I forgot what it's about and what happened, but I remember it was scary as heckkkkk and I was freaking out for the longest time...and after that they showed this weird cartoon film...but it eased my mind. It was 2 frogs dressed in like suits and fancy clothes in this fancy banquet hall thing, chilling and eating cookies and drinking coffee and tea...and for some reason, that gave me peace. My happy place then and still sometimes is me chilling with those 2 well dressed frogs, eating cookies, drinking tea and coffee...I don't even know why, when I get scared...I close my eyes and honestly I still picture that sometimes...it's weird lol.

Embarrassing Elementary School Stories

So with Halloween being in a few days, thought I'd share with you guys a super embarrassing yet funny story. So first things first...I've NEVER dressed up as anything for Halloween...no joke..I've always went in regular clothes when I was a kid. While everyone was ninjas and fairies and cowboys and princesses, I was just this random kid going door to door getting candy lol. So in like grade 3 or 4....my teacher was like okay everyone wear your halloween costumes tomorrow and we'll take a class picture. So I had this sick idea of going as the guy from Scream with that black robe and sick mask...but first I had to ask my parents who were like NO...that's bad and it's expensive...my mom was like, here's a better idea, why don't you go dressed as your dad...you can borrow one of his shirts and just go dressed as him...LOOOOOOL. So the next morning, my dad gives me one of his shirts, which I still have to this day...and it's like down to me knees, the sleeves are like danging off my arms and I'm just wearing regular pants. So in my head, I'm like okay please tell me at least one other person didn't wear a costume or has something stupid on. I go to class...EVERYONE has a costume...girls are like cats, princesses, fairies...guys are like ninjas, doctors, monsters...and here I am looking like a damn fool with this oversized shirt. All my friends, random people, teachers all came to me going...why are you wearing a big shirt...and I'm like, I'm dressed as my dad for halloween...they all laughed at me so bad lol. So teacher's like okay all the girls let's take a picture with your costumes, they all look cute and stuff. All the guys now, they all have their costumes and here I am at the corner of the picture clearly visible with a stupid baggy shirt LOL...thanks dad, worst moment of life...the worst thing is I still have all those photos cuz they were in the yearbook LOL

From Me To You...

I'll never meet your expectations and I probably never will, and I'm slowly becoming okay with that. I'll never meet the expectations I put on myself because I think I have to please you or meet your standards and be someone I'm not, and I"m okay with that. I'll never be him, I'll never be in your eyes what you are to me, and I'm okay with that. I'll never be enough for you, you'll never view me the same as I view you, and I'm slowly accepting that you'll never care for me as much as I care about you...and I'm okay with that. You're going to find someone who cares about you as much as I do...hopefully more, but you'll reciprocate that feeling...and I'm okay with that. You're going to find a guy that's going to be and should be the most important man in your life and vice versa for me...and I'm okay with that. We have our own paths, obstacles and destinations that we gotta walk...and I'm okay with that. I'm slowly becoming numb to you as of late and you're just become another someone...and I'm okay with that. You have your life and I have mine, we're going to grow up, grow old and move on...and hopefully and surprisingly, I think I'm okay with that.

Love Hate Thing

2 am thoughts...

Embrace Your Struggle

I was reflecting like yesterday and two days ago...just about losing my macbook and my wallet in my second year and always failing 3 courses and stuff. It all started during bible study during fellowship on Friday...when we were talking about how when God lets you indulge in your desires, in things like money and stuff, it's not a good thing, it's a punishment, cuz those things become your master...and I was a slave to those things. I had never had a laptop before and my first laptop ends up being a macbook, something I like begged my parents fot, obv it's good, but I also wanted it moreso to show off and stuff...and my wallet, I had A LOT of money in there...don't even know why I kept so much...I'm talking bills on bills on bills...but yeah...God taking that away from me...was a reminder...was Him saying HEY,,,I'm still in control buddy...I gave you all these things and I can just as easily take it away. And we were going through this passage that talked about wives...submit to your husbands...husbands...love your wives...children, obey your parents...parents, don't provoke your kids...slaves, obey your master...masters, be fair to your slaves. So we were talking and the question came up of the 3 pairs mentioned...which do you relate to at the moment...and I started thinking about my life...and how I was and still am a lot of the times a slave...slave to earthly things...to materialistic things, to lust, to a lot of earthly things...that's when I started thinking about my macbook and stuff. And the next day I started thinking more...and this specific sermon came to mind, it was quite a while ago...but the pastor was talking about how sometimes things in your life will happen...that you just don't understand...it could be good things, bad things, devastating things...but things happen that are simply out of your control and you can't explain or understand it. And sometimes...you won't understand it till days, weeks, months or even years later...but all you need to hold onto is that God is in control, He has a plan and He has a reason for all of this. All you need to know is that this is happening in your life for a specific reason, God has placed you in this specific place and time, this specific obstacle or trial...for a specific reason...that you won't understand till later down the road. But when you do understand, you'll realize that it was all necessary...the pain, the struggle, the stress...in order for you to get to where you are right now. Looking back, I've been through a heck of a lot...failed courses, lost items, severe injuries, being down in my faith...but it has all led up to this point...to where I am right now...I'm not done yet, far from it...still have lots left to go in my walk with God...but I'm slowly learning to embrace my struggle,,,to know that God has placed these obstacles in my life for a reason...succeed or fail...I know it's for a reason, to learn, to grow, to mature...and to most of all become more like Christ...so that's just me...and how I'm accepting the fact that struggle, pain, trials, tests...are all apart of life, but they help you...and I'm doing my best to embrace it...and giving thanks to God in the process.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever youf ace trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." - James 1:2-4

Shoutouts To You

My homie made a song a while ago in memory of this dude we went to high school with who passed away...RIP to you, wherever you are...but shoutouts to my homie, wherever YOU are...I miss you, I pray you're doing well...all the best brother.

God Is Always In Control

I've been really busy as of late and the stress has been piling up...been studying for midterms...got lots of things to plan for church...still working on the project for the blog and just a bunch of other things. But God is always in control and His timing is perfect...and here I am...my plate is slowly being cleared one thing at a time...just finished a midterm on Tuesday...one more on Thursday then got reading week the last week of October. Prepping for church is going well, got the ball rolling and it's still good and stuff, and yeah. Honestly tho, you don't know how excited I am for you guys to see the project that I'm working on...haven't done much physical work yet, but I have most of the details outlined and I just gotta get the ball rolling...can't wait man. On that note...can you believe it's already mid October...in 2 months and a bit, bam...the year's over...and by the time January rolls along, that's half the school year done too...time literally does fly. My mom is pretty set on going back to Singapore this summer for like 2 weeks to a month...I'm pretty excited to visit fam and chill with cousins...but at the same time I wanna do summer school and also play softball as well...so hopefully they don't conflict. But yeah, all the stress and whatnot...it just really helped remind me that God is always in control...and He uses stressful and hard times to change us, shape us and help us grow...and that's really encouraging. When your life is fine....that's when you should be worried, def something I keep reminding myself of.

What Happens In Jail...

I always laugh out loud every time I see this...

What Am I Thankful For...

Today's Thanksgiving...why not do one of these lol...

This weekend has just been really nice...aside from having a test tomorrow lol. Just being able to chill with friends and family, eat food, it's been really fun. I'm thankful for a lot of things...and the first if God...who always has and always is by my side through it all. I pray that I'll continue to grow and learn and mature...whether that means going through tough times or trials...I know my God is with me. I pray that I'll continue to grow in my walk with Him and understand and become a godly man. I'm thankful for my family...your family are the only people who've loved you since the beginning...literally since the beginning...and they're always there for you. My parents especially...I've mentioned it numerous times...but I'm so damn appreciative of everything they do, all the hard work, all the effort and tired and stressful nights they have...cuz they don't do it for themselves...they don't do it so they can go buy things for themselves...they do it to pay the bills, to put food on the table, to put clothes on my back...to make my life easier...I love them to death. I'm thankful for my friends...honestly where would I be without them...when i say friends...I mean all my friends...christian, non christian...you're all my fam...you're my support system...you build me up and you're there for me to say good job...or to say man that was stupid...and I thank you for that. I'm thankful to just be healthy and to be able to have an education...cuz some people are honestly not that fortunate...or some people are barely scraping by and I think about how lucky I am and how my parents pay for my school and stuff. I'm thankful that I'm still here...21 years later...I'm still healthy, I'm still growing, I'm still learning...I'm so thankful for that. But yeah...there's obv small things I'm thankful for as well...but like God, family, friends, school and health...pretty much sum it all up.

From The Heart: Changes Part 3

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/11/from-heart-changes.html

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/11/from-heart-changes-part-2.html

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/12/changes-thats-just-way-it-is-things.html

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/12/changes-thats-just-way-it-is-things_6002.html

I stumbled upon these 4 posts and I guess it struck a nerve in me you know. Lately I've been thinking a lot...about people I haven't seen in a while, people I haven't talked to in a while...people I was once close to and perhaps am not so close to anymore. Especially with this weekend being Thanksgiving...it's given me a lot of time to reflect. Instead of just going off on how I may not be close to certain people anymore and such...thought I'd just talk to you guys. I illustrated to my friend a few days ago...how I feel like me and this one friend, we used to be close, but we're not anymore, we still talk and can have a conversation...but things are different. Whether I changed or the other person changed, when we talk...when we chill, it's not the same. I didn't mean either of us changed in a negative way either. I felt like we both have the same destination, we're still the same people, we're still growing...but we're just growing in different directions, we just took different paths. And I think that's the case with a lot of my friends...we all have similar goals...whether that's finish school, start a family, move out...whatever...but we're taking different paths...so it seems like we're distant...but we're all heading to the same place. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that for certain people who I've been thinking a lot about...though things may be different right now...and we're on different paths...I have hope that our paths will cross if it's meant to be...and if or when our paths do cross...it'll be nice...cuz we'll both have changed and grown and matured as people.

170,000 HITS

Wow...just wow. I'm gonna skip the usual thank yous and oh my gosh I can't believe it and that kinda stuff. Honestly...this is just the beginning...I feel like I'm still just starting the race you know, this is like a stepping stone...I haven't reached the goals I've envisioned for this blog and I'm not satisfied with where this blog is at right now...I'm proud and thankful...but nowhere near satisfied...I have big dreams and goals for myself and this blog. So here's to another milestone...but here's to added motivation of wanting more...and wanting to do more. I told you there's a super special project under wraps that I hope to get out soon to you guys...and the best part is...it's all about, all for, and featuring YOU GUYS...when it comes out, it'll all make sense. But 170,000...what can I say but thank you...I may write the posts on this blog, but you visiting every day, every now and then, here and there, whenever you remember...that's what keeps me going...so until 200,000...thank you.

Old Habits Die Hard

I'm sorry lol...tomorrow's Monday...,meaning it's been pretty much a week with no posts lol my bad. But uh...it's been a pretty slow and dull week...just school literally, my back's been aching a lot, so I've been taking a break from working out and probs will continue this week since I got midterms to study for anyways. This weekend is thanksgiving weekend and it's been so nice...just seeing everyone come back from university and get to talk and catchup with them. After church today, we didn't have worship practice so my friend who goes to Queens invited me and a couple guys over to his house for a thanksgiving lunch...it was nice...me and 3 other close homies just chilling with his fam and stuff...definitely brought back some great memories. And just even at church it was nice to see everyone back and chilling and having fun and stuff. Interesting story though...I asked my friend to drive me this morning at like 8 ish...fell back asleep and woke up at like 9:30, which is when service starts...saw his text and a missed call, so I assumed he was on his way...got dressed and stuff, it was like 9:40 and he lives pretty close to me, so I was like it can't be taking him this long, so I'm like you on the way? And he called me and goes dude I'm here...I rang your doorbell and no one answered LOOOL cuz I was sleeping...so thankfully he came back and got me and we were both pretty late lol, my bad, thanks homie.

Super Special Crazy Awesome Top Secret Undercover Project

It has begun...December 15th...GET READY!!!

The Next Chapter Of This Blog...

Just been doing a lot of reflecting lately...and surprisingly a lot of reading old posts on this blog...yeah I've just been going through random pages from 2010 - 2012 and just looking at old posts lol...it's been a heck of a ride from 2009 till now...man. Just seeing that we're so close to 200,000 hits...it'll probs take us a few months seeing the average amount of views per month...but still, that's pretty sick...200,000...wow, I know that's a small number compared to things like how many followers celebrities have on twitter or how many views youtube videos have...but to me...200,000...is surreal...it's a dream come true...it's become my life...my hobby, my passion. And another things...in about 2 months...it'll be this blog's 4th anniversary...and I have a couple things in mind, nothing too fancy or crazy, but it'll be special hopefully. With 200,000 hits and the 4th anniversary right around the corner and this year coming to an end and me turning 22 next year...it's just got me thinking about life...and what a ride it's been...and of course what I plan on doing with this blog...who really knows lol...imagine if I'm married, have kids and I'm still blogging LOOOOL and like my wife and kids read what I secretly think LOL...oh man...but yeah I got a couple of ideas for the 4th anniversary, it should be interesting, thanks for sticking with me this far on this incredible and amazing journey.

The Wedding Singer Scene

Dear God

So today at fellowship, we had a chance to break off into groups and share a bit and just chill...one question that I really thought about was if you had a question for God, what would it be?

I used to always wanna ask God why do bad things happen...or more specifically why do bad things happen to good people while like criminals get set free or innocent people die...things like that you know. But I guess the context of my question was moreso like oh God I serve in church a lot, I do good things, why do bad things happen to me. And it's so ironic and my friend who was sharing something to me told me that God rewards those he loves...but he also disciplines those he loves. God uses trials and temptations and obstacles to teach us...so when we think we're failing or about to fall...know that God is teaching you, moulding you, chiselling you...to his likeness. My question then shifted to...what is my purpose in this life...or what is your plan for me God? What am I gonna do in the future? What am I gonna do after school? Am I going to find a job that's related to all this studying and reading I'm doing? What do you have planned for my family...my brother...,my aunts, uncles, cousins, relatives. Where and what am I going to be like in 5 years...10 years...will I have a stable job...a wife...a family. When or if I get married...what will my wife be like...have I met her already. There's all these things I want to know...about God's plan for me...and my future...but I know and I tell myself it's like reading the end of a novel before you even start it...you ruin the ending for yourself and yeah you can read the story and the character will go through all these tough times and trials, but you know they're going to be okay cuz you read the ending. I guess it's a constant reminder to myself that life is liek that....that it would be no fun and pointless to know the ending...all I know is that I'm going to be okay...and that God has a plan for me and it's going to be beautiful. But sometimes...things just get real frustrating...like my 2 biggest things are always what am I going to do in the future...and who is my future wife. I guess I'm just at that age where I'm thinking or should be thinking about those things After school what's going to happen...moving out, getting a job, supporting my parents, starting a family. And then a wife...a girl who I can see myself spending the rest of my life with...someone I can grow old with...someone I will grow in my walk with Christ, someone I will sacrifice for and put above myself...someone I will protect and love...I trust you God...you've never left me, you've never failed me...and I know you never will.

Friends Turned Strangers

I've just been thinking a lot lately...about people...specific individuals...who I was once and perhaps still am close to...but for some reason, I just feel distant from them, or we haven't talked in a while, or things just aren't the same. The people I'm thinking of are more along the lines of I was once close to them...and now...I'm not...things are just different, you know. It sucks...cuz I'll hang with these people, and we'll talk and stuff, but it's not the same as it was before. I'm just thinking of all the deep and heart to heart talks I would have with these people...all the night outs we had where we'd chill or something...it's just a downer, thinking of all the close friends who have become...well strangers...but yeah, don't even wanna get too much into this cuz it's saddening lol

Drake - Own It

Fast & The Furious...

Man...driving is awesome...just having that freedom to go wherever you want. Like today for example...went to church to play ball after visiting the hospital...then had this craving for mcdonalds drink and drove myself there, and the drive home was so relaxing...no traffic...soothing music, man it's nice. Just thought I'd share that with you...sorry I myself have been so slacks lately on blogging. I've been getting so caught up with asking people get guest write on my blog lol...there's been 2 so far...but I've asked like at least 4 people already who all said yes...so maybe I'll let people post once a week...but def not to the point where you guys don't even read my posts or it's more of them blogging than it is me lol...

Tatted

I've been watching this video a lot cuz I've been heavily considering getting a tattoo...now just like he says int he beginning of the video...there's a huge debate about this topic lol...there's obv gonna be people for and people against it. People for it will say well there's meaning, there's purpose, things like that...it's not a tattoo of something stupid. Whereas people against it will say it's to look cool, things like that. I agree with a lot of his points here and it really helped ease my mind on a lot of things and I know if I'm this unsure about getting a tattoo...I'll def have to wait a bit longer and pray a lot more. But it's something I'm definitely leaning towards it....I'm thinking maybe on my chest "Family First, God Before That"....just a reminder to myself of how important my family is to me...but above all that...God is my heart, my life...you know.

Guest Writer #2: LettersToYou

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind

Just wanted to say thanks to Rod for inviting me to guest blog on The Best You Never Heard.

Letters to You...

UN: i hope you’re okay. I know you’re stressed out and going through a silent depression. I know you’re suffering from post trauma but don’t know how to express or show it. and honestly, no one can help you, you have to go to God for that, not even the psychologist you’ve been visiting. I didn’t tell you though because i know you don’t want to talk about it.

NS: I don’t know what’s up with you, why you’re angry at me all the time? I don’t know how to talk to you so I’m just going to wait it out. Not going to approach you. I don’t think any of us are at an easy stage right now and you go on flipping out at me every time I mention how we should be there for one another.

GN: I miss you a lot and I don’t know where you are. I wish I gave you the card I made you though you wouldn’t have been able to see it. I wish I can just give you a hug and never let you go. I wish I was able to do the things I promised you.

UT: I’m not sure how I feel about you. Scared, numb...not sure. There were times I wanted to tell you things but then I remembered we’re not together anymore and that we’re not talking. I’m not sure what to talk about with you anymore and not sure if I want to. I’m sure I’ll miss you when I see you though.

T: this is sorta weird one to write cus we’re not even friends and we’ve just met but we’ve ended up spending some time together for the past two weeks. I know you had no idea but you made me realize that no one (at least to my knowledge) are immune to rebounds or wanting to look for a rebound. Even if you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else but your ex just last week. And chances are, down that road, it’s going to hurt your ego and you’re going to feel like crap. However, thanks I needed that.

Self: Stop trying to plan and control your life. God will change them. Accept criticism and failure. Take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t let worries and sadness consume you as much as you are starting to feel comfortable in that state. Don’t be scared, stop hesitating but don’t be impulsive. Don’t let self consciousness control you. Quality time over quantity. Learn to save money. Treat yourself but don’t indulge. Learn to move on. Don’t be lukewarm.

Sincerely,
LettersToYou

My First Time Driving (Legitimately)

SO GUESS WHAT...YESTERDAY THE INSURANCE PAPERS FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL...so today I drove to crossfit at church by myself...I know the general whereabouts, but still had google maps on my iphone and surprisingly it spoke out the directions, sickkk!!! Bluetoothed my phone to the car so I played music and had the directions out...but I think people were cheesing at me cuz I was in the middle lane (the fast lane) and going the speed limit lol so I switched to the slow lane and I also stopped for all stop signs, so people probably were like who is this noob lol but other than that it felt so nice to drive by myself, windows and just blasting music...could def get used to this.

Anthony Hamilton - Struggle No More feat. Musiq Soulchild, Jaheim

25 (Random) Facts About Me

Saw this in a video and thought I'd do it...in written form...

1. I've never pulled an all nighter for school and I don't intend to lol...latest I've ever slept for a sleepover was like 6 am...
2. I hate coffee and beer (make that alcohol in general)
3. I didn't know how to ride a bike until I was in like grade 6-7
4. I dislocated my knee in grade 10 basketball tryouts..,was in a cast for 6 months...
5. When I was in Singapore one time, I had a huge debate whether to buy the new 50 Cent album or Linkin Park LOL...I bought the 50 Cent one
6. I was Romeo in our grade 9 play of Romeo and Juliet...trust I was bomb too!
7. I cut my own hair (more like shave my own head, but okay)
8. I was suspended in elementary school for punching this guy and breaking his nose (long story)
9. I don't know how to swim (used to when I was little)
10. I won the gym award in grade 8
11. One time in elementary school during halloween, my dad gave me one of his shirts to wear and I went as my dad LOL (I'll save the story for another time lol)
12. My secret weapon during elementary school snowball fights were covering pine cones with snow...they hurt more LOL
13. I still keep in contact and am very close with my elementary school gym teacher/volleyball coach
14. I've never made any elementary or high school basketball team...(though my friends on the team vouched extremely hard for me, another story for another day tho)
15. I made the soccer team in grade 8...I sucked at soccer...I still use those cleats to this day for softball LOL
16. The first girl I ever liked was named Janice
17. I got sent to the principal's office in grade 3 for calling a kid gay
18. I'm very picky when it comes to vegetables (don't like cabbage, onions, peppers, eggplant, bean sprouts, etc)
19. I used to call myself "The Franchise" in elementary school, my friends turned it around on me and called me "french fries"...
20. My parents and my brother were born in Singapore...they moved to Canada and had me :)
21. Vince Carter will always be my favourite player of all time
22. I got an "R" in elementary school science...like grade 2 or 3...I didn't know an R was possible
23. I wanted to be a chef at one point in time during high school
24. My real dream when I was a kid was to play in the NBA...secretly, part of me still believes in that dream
25. My biggest fear is that I'll be one of those corporate dudes in the future who just sits in an office all day on the computer...