Justin Timberlake - Not A Bad Thing

Clicking The Ads

So if you have a keen eye, you'll notice that there are now ads on the blog...one on the sidebar under the hits bar...and another one under the first post of the blog. Now if you've been with  us for a while, you know I had them up for a bit in 2011 and I made a bit of money, that's the whole point of it, but I ended up taking it off cuz I didn't like how it looked on the blog and my purpose for blogging wasn\to make money, so I took it off. But yesterday I had a talk with my friend and my blog has grown so much since 2011 that he thinks I could make a decent amount of money, so after come convincing and some hard thought...I decided to put it back up and just see where it is. So I'm not gonna promote and be all up in your face annoying you to click the ads, but it would be nice if you did lol, thanks...that's all I wanted to say.

D-Pryde - Old School Love

Weekly Posts

Sorry lol...I know I haven't posted since Monday...time honestly just flies and some days I just genuinely forget. And the other half would just be what I've talked about in previous posts...just really loaft and feeling like a bum as of late. Also been feeling really cold for some reason lol, I'm not sick...but just really cold...whenever I'm at home, I'm always under blankets...and like taking a shower is the best part of my day LOL. What else...oh right, no glasses for at least a month...doc said my eyes were too dry and she couldn't properly check and if she gave me glasses it'd be like looking through a lens that's dirty, so gotta use eye drops for a month. What else...I'm really thankful to the brothers and sisters who I've shared with how I was feeling and who comforted me or gave me encouraging and comforting words...thank you.

Dear God

God you know my heart. You know my struggles and you know my triumphs. God I\m asking for peace and joy. You know that I have been neglecting you and neglecting your Word. But you care...and because you care, I know you've placed certain people in my life to draw me back to you, to give me that push. God I pray that you lift this sense of restlessness and joylessness from my heart God, renew that fire in my heart for you and help me find joy in you and in the things that glorify you. God I thank you for never giving up on me no matter how far I stray away from you. God I know you hear my cry, I know you see my brokenness and I know you know how much I'm struggling right now...and I'm praying to you because you are God, because you have guided me through 21 years of trials and tough times and you will continue to do so because you are faithful and loving. God, I trust you...I trust in your plan and in your power...fill me with your love, your grace and with a heart that seeks you and seeks the things that glorify you. I ptay this all in your Son\s most Holy name...

Amen.

J. Cole - Crunch Time

Restlessness and Joylessness

So for those of you who know...I've just been in a funk lately. As simply put, I've been feeling like a bum...like I've been wasting my life. And I've been having this feeling of restlessness and not really finding joy in life or having the motivation for much. I've shared it with a few friends and gotten lots of comforting advice and wisdom from a lot of them. I was sharing with this one friend who I see as really wise and definitely firmly grounded in her faith. I was just sharing with her how I've been feeling as well as what my friends have told me. And she told me...maybe you've been feeling weird and off because you've been neglecting God, not reading your bible...and not really having Him as the centre of your life. And the more and more I thought about it, the more and more it really hit me about how true it was. Maybe the reason why I've been feeling like this...this unexplainable feeling...is because I've been neglecting God and not really giving Him any time at all. And this is God's way of pulling me back. And because I've been neglecting God and ignoring what He's been having to say to me...he told me exactly what I needed to hear through friends...and through their wisdom and experiences. She told me that God knows you haven't been on track with Him, not reading your bible or really taking steps forward to grow in my faith...and I guess God used my friends to kinda put me back on the right track. Cuz I definitely feel better about this whole situation...to focus my heart and mind on God...and let everything else fall into place. Mt 2 friends helped me figure out a devo plan or at least a way to start consistently reading my bible and my other friend and I are keeping each other accountable and we're going to both read Philippians together, so that's definitely encouraging for me. And for some reason, after talking to my friend...the parable of the lost sheep came to my head. How I felt like I've been drifting away from God...and God even with all of his other sheep to tend to...left the herd to come find me, to bring me back to Him...and it honestly gave me so much joy and strength to understand and appreciate that.

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbours together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15:1-7

Paul George 360 Windmil

Found this online, someone actually made this...wow

Kendrick Lamar - War Is My Love

Priorities

Originally I wasn't gonna write about this...just cuz I'm kinda over it already, but after writing the previous post, I'm in the mood and I might as well lol. Pretty much my mom's away for 3 weeks in Singapore like I told you guys so it's just my dad and my bro and I. It's been like a week ish and everyone's been pitching in around the house, washing dishes things like that. Especially since my dad injured his shoulder a couple months back and is still recovering and his back has been hurting, I don't want him to do as much so I and my brother both try to alleviate any stresses or pressures he feels he has. But as of late, I feel like my brother hasn't been pulling his weight, and it's something I've always been annoyed at him about. Today for example...my brother and I are home...my dad comes home from work and goes let's go out for dinner, I'm tired and don't want to cook and we barely go out, so let's go. I'm down and I say I'm ready. My brother...says he's showered already and doesn't feel like going out. For some reason, my brother's logic is once he's showered, he can't do anything...no housework, no chores, he can't step outside or anything. So I went upstairs to try to convince him cuz I know dad's tired from a long day of work and I don't want him to cook either, plus it'll be nice since we actually don't go out that often. My brother just says no, he's tired, blah blah...and I slowly start to get annoyed. Cuz he has no good reason...I know if he doesn't go he'll just end up sitting in front of his damn computer doing absolutely nothing productive. AND what really pisses me off is no matter how long my brother has worked or how tired he is, if his friends call him out or if a girl calls hi out to go chilml or have drinks he'll go out in a heartbeat...even if he's showered.And that really pisses me off...and I told him too....dad's tired, I don't want him to work, let's just go out...it really pisses me off just to know where his priorities are. And he's a brat because he knows even tho he doesn't go out to eat with us, dad will still bring back something for him....but whatever, I'm over it, I talked with my dad in the car and he said the exact same thing....how my brother would go out in an instant with his friends but won't come out to dinner with his own family...whatever...my brother still has a lot of growingup to do...I ain't even sweating this anymore...just thought I'd share it with you guys tho...

Climbing Your Inner Ladder

I was having dinner with my dad and he like he always does started lecturing me about life and such. He was talking about my brother and me, and just life, jobs, finance, things like that. And he was saying how life is like climbing a ladder...and he pointed out that my brother is stuck at a certain point at the ladder...he's not even halfway yet, but he's content you know. He's content with where he's at, even though he sees how high there is left to go and how much room there is to climb higher, he's content with where he is. Not only is he content with where he is, but he's scared to move up or down...for fear of failure...for fear of falling. Then he started looking at me...and said that in life, you have to keep climbing up, climbing the ladder...or you'll never know what's ins tore for you. Like my brother for example is stuck in this phase of his life...working the same job for 5 years, no change...but he's scared of change...and this fear of change prevents him from improving at all. Cuz he's scared to try and look for a new job for fear of failure...he's content, he's comfortable. Then I just look at my life...how I want to keep climbing the ladder and see what I can do, see what my potential or where my potential can get me. I don't wanna be stuck in the same place. Yeah I might fail or fall off the ladder or get knocked down a few steps...but that\s part of life...and there's nothing stopping me from getting back on the ladder or trying to climb up again you know. I guess the biggest thing I took away is that it's crazy how the fear of change and failure can stunt your growth and prevent you from imrpoving.

When We Started...

I love looking back at the blog and just reminiscing to when I first started. I always tell the story so I'll spare you the details. But I'm talking about when I first started and I would promote it and post it everywhere to the point where people would actually get annoyed at me lol. I remember starting off and nobody believing in me, even my own friends would jokingly be like oh well no one goes on your blog. Obv they were joking, but there was some truth to it as well, then just seeing those numbers and hits increase and seeing the numerous countries visit my blog, it definitely kept me motivated. As of late, I've been going through old posts from 2011...the year that I feel the blog officially blew up lol, it's nice just to see how far we've come and how many people we've reached. But at the same time, how far we've come and how much we've done is nowhere near the dreams and visions I/ have for this blog...and I guess that's one of the things that's been keeping me motivated as of late, to keep going, aside from the consistent visitors, just the thought of the potential and what this blog can become in the future...that definitely keeps me at it and keeps me motivated.

B.yo.B - Not Lost feat. T.I.

"Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost."

Love Songs

Random thought,but I was doing dishes the other day and I felt like singing lol...so I made a playlist of just songs that you can sing along to and it was a mix of like slow songs like Usher, Ne-Yo to even songs from artists like Nickelback lol...but yeah I had this really funny yet interesting thought when I was doing the dishes and singing. When you listen to these songs...specifically slow songs or love songs...a question to you is, who do you think about, who's the first person that comes to your mind...just saying, it says a lot when you're singing songs about oh I want you girl, oh let me be your man...and you're thinking about a girl, it says a lot subconsciously I feel. I dunno, that's just pretty random, no idea where that came from lol, just a thought...

Slow And Steady

For some reason I feel like it's been a really slow start to the year. Started off by getting sick, feeling just really tired/exhausted, my eyes being so bad that U have to get glasses. But it's more than that, I don't even really know what it is...well I kinda do, but I also don't really know how to talk about it. I've just been doing a lot of thinking...and this school year has been really slow, boring and lonely LOL. I've talked a few times about it with my friend and he's like maybe it's cuz you're only taking 2 courses this year. Maybe...I dunno, he's like you should join a club or something or try to meet some new people, maybe that'll change/help. Maybe...I dunno, I feel it's deeper than that. Like something's missing...my heart and my mind just feel so out of it, so out of everything...I don't even know how to put it into words lol. Something's missing/off with me...and I don't know what it is, definitely a rough start to the new year so far...

Faith

For some reason...as of late, the future has been a constant thought in the back of my head. I guess just being in my fourth year and graduating next year hopefully. A lot of things are hitting me at once...what am I gonna do after school...what am I gonna do next year for school...who am I gonna marry....what kinda job am I gonnna have....what's life gonna be after my parents pass away? All these questions are things that I've thought about...long and hard...and it's scary...just knowing tghe future is literally right in front of me. Damn...especially when I chilml with my friends and we reminisce about high school and it's like wow...am I/ really that old? Or I see my frends applying for graduation or start talking about life after school and their plans and stuff...or even hearing my friends talk about marriage and settling down. These are all definitely eating at me all at once and it's scary cuz I'm stilll struggling to decide what I wanna do next year for schoool and after that. But I guess this verse randomly came to me one night and it gave me peace as all these things were running around in my head. I know God has a plan for me and he just wants me to trust him....fully...not just half heartedly trust him and still hold some things in my heart....but to fully give my life to him, trusting that he has a plan for me and that all these worries...shouldn't be worries because he's already got it all planned out. It was just definitely a reminder I really needed as of late.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

Hear What You Want

This is a commercial for Beats by Dre..but I really like it. And I really love Kevin Garnett's attitude towards the game of basketball. Some people see him as a jerk..but I see him as just being really competitive...he won't do things like be buddy buddy and shake hands with the opponent...and if you leave the team like Ray Allen, you're no longer part of the family...the team is family and he'll go above and beyond to watch out for them. This commercial is so sick cuz as an athlete and as Kevin Garnett especially, he probs garners a lot of hate and it's sick to seehim just tune it out in the commercial and just relax and vibe to the song...I'm the man.

Jazmine Sullivivan - After The Hurtricane

Lack Of...

Sorry guys...I dunno what's up lately...I've just been really out of it...out of everything. I'm just getting better from my sickness which I've had since new years. I'm slowly not feeling that tired/fatigued anymore. Feeling really weak though cuz I haven't worked out since break began...but surprisingly I've been losing weight...I'm like 140 something now...I swear I was closer to 160 beforee. But the worst news as of late is that my eyes are terrible...long story short ,I need glasses most likely lol...went to get my eyes checked today and it was terrible. Went to my fam doc and he did a few tests and said I'm a -7 and the worst is -10 lol...he's like technically you shouldn't even be able to drive lol. He gave me the vision tests and I could barely see past the second, third level lol. Then he sent me upstairs to an actual eye doctor, one of his friends and she gave me more through checks and test and yeah shes like your eyes are horrible LOOOL...so going next Wednesday to an actual omtometrist to most likeley get my glasses...l.sigh

Guest Writers

Just a reminder to you guys if you're ever interested in writing something on my blog...don't hesitate to ask, I said I wouldn't let just anyone right, but at the asme time I'm not picky either. There's been 6 guest writers so far and only one of them was bold enough to as me themselves lol. I've asked a few others but they either didn't reply to didn\t floow up and that's okay...I have one lined up so far and she asked me by herself lol so I guess that makes 2...

Never Thought This Day /Would Come...

I always thought my eyes were okay...but over the years my vision has been getting worse I guess. Too much video games, TV watching and computer surfing. It's been a progressive thing I guess, where I had to sit close to the TV or I wouldn't be able to see the game I'mplaying...or not being able to see street signs from faraway. But as of late my eye sight has been getting so bad...typing this post right now, I honestly can't see what I'm writing unless my face is legit right up to the screen. My friend was testing to me today and he stiood on the opposite side of the room and held up fiingers and told me how many and I had trouble identifying it lol...I always used to say that everyone in my family has glasses but me....lol guess I'm joining the club...gonna feel  so weird. People just tell me to get contacts, the glasses aren't the problem lol it's jutst getting use to them. Like I put in eye drops in my eyes for the first time in my life a few days ago and that was so weird...still getting used to it...so I think putting in contacts in my eyes are gonna be really hard too LOL...man this post probs has so many mistakes cuz I can't see what I'm typing lol.

Justin Timberlake - Until The End Of Time feat. Beyonce

Prayer Request

I know ir's been a while lol...like almost 2 weeks....but I've been sick lol, my body's literally been breaking down I sweat. I've just been so exhausted lately and my eyes are getting so bad, I thought it was an eye infection, but I might just need glasses...definitely just been sleeping a lot lately. Any ways...woke up early this morning to send my mom to the airport...she's going to Singapore for 3 weeks to see her dad cuz he fell on his hip I think and needs surgery to get it replaced I think. But yeah it's gonna be weird without her here, she found outlike a week ago and booked everything within a few days and we shipped her off today. Definitely just praying for her and her safety and as well her family. I'm definitely getting better, so that'sa good sign, but my eyes are actually so bad it's no joke...damn.

Prayer Journal: Day 14

Eccu: It's gonna be a long year for the both of us bro. But know that I;ll be there for you...I know this will only serve to help us grow in Christ and grow together as brothers and also disciples of Christ. Keep your head up man, honestly your growth as of late and just your initiative has definitely encouraged me and given me a bit of that fire I've been lacking lately.

Cllm: I'm not going to make this sound like a goodbye speech lol...more like a see you later...there's not much for me to say to you other than that I pray that you find whatever it is you're looking for, or that you feel that you're missing.

Cncn: Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad friend to you considering how much of a great friend you are to me, and I'm sorry for that. I feel like you're in the middle of a transition and that God is wrestling with your heart...and there's something you're not willing to let go of in order to pursue Him, know that i'm praying for you.

Jyyu: It's been a journey my dude...I was honestly really saddened to hear you're moving and most likely switching churches...O put it right when she said that God is really wrestling with your heart, let Him guide you man. Leave the old life behind...living for Him is so much more rewarding, I promise.

Cssm: My brother from the beginning, I've been thinking about you a lot...and worrying about you a lot...I pray that God watches over you and your family always. That you keep trusting in Him to bring you out of every and any situation.

Args: It seems like you're slowly regaining a level head....but you're still hesitant and really isolating yourself from people who are trying ty help you...but instead surrounding yourself with people who do nothing but hold you back...I pray God will change you.

Honestly, don't feel bad or insulted if your name never comes up here...these are just people that come to my head on the and in the moment, sorry lol.

Lastly...is praying for my church...just everything...the love, fellowship, unity. Just because we're growing up doesn't mean we have to grow apart.

Drake - Something

This could be somethin...maybe it's just nothin at all...

Tunnel Vision

It's died down a bit...and the feeling is slowly going away...just cuz. But I will admit as of late, I've kinda abandoned by rules for dating and relationships...I've turned my back on every word of advice I've ever given to people...and I look at myself as somewhat good at giving people advice. Honestly I've felt like I was in high school again...the way I kinda fell for this girl, real bad if you will...and I didn't really understand why either. But things have kinda died down...my heart hasn't really been into it...not just for no reason...I guess feelings just really haven't been reciprocated. And it's hard when my friends tell me I should still talk to her so she doesn't think I was in it purely to get something...but honestly there's not much to talk about, Before I genuinely was interested in her and in her life...but she didn't really give me much...she'd be all like well I'm not that interesting. And honestly...how I illustrate it now is as if I'm talking to someone who's preoccupied with something else and there heart just isn't into the conversation. Like I'm playing videogames and someone is trying to talk to me...I hear sound, but I don't hear the words they're saying, so my replies are whatever. And this goes back to my previous post about nothing held back...because honestly that's how this blog has become what it is today...because it's my place to vent and genuinely share what's on my heart. This is in no way a shot at you either so I sincerely hope you don't take it that way...all in due time. If I can go back to what I've always told myself about relationships...if it's mean to be, it'll be...what's the rush...take it slow. Patience is the biggest things I've always stressed when it came to girls and I totally abandoned that and everything else...for you. But whatever...whatever happens, happens...if our paths are meant to cross, they will.

Nothing Held Back

When I went skiing with my 2 friends the other day and we were in the car together we had a chance to talk about a bunch of things. One of which was my blog lol...and the prayer journals where I pray for people. They were taking jabs at me and guessing who the people were and honestly it\s not that hard to  tell that or the format I use. But honestly the first thought that came into my what came into my head was well...guess I better change it up and start a new format so no one can guess it lol. But my friend said an interesting thing among all the joking. He told me that's what makes the blog real...that's one of the reasons at least why people keep coming back...cuz it's so honest in your face. He told me that he remembers the real old days of the blog...how because no one was visiting the blog, I didn't have a reason not to be super honest...and it made me think how over the years...I'm still honest, but I've also been more cautious and watchful over what I say because some people do get offended at what I say LOL especially if it's about them. But the blog now is different from what it was back then...my friend was right, because no one was reading my blog, there was no reason not to say whatever I wanted and whatever was on my mind...but now...with family, friends, etc...all possibly reading my blog here and there, it does make me more careful with what I say....but regardless I promise you I'll always be honest in what I say...it may not be every single little detail or exactly nothing held back...but it'll be a lot and straight from my heart...as always...thank you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Man...2014, just like that..can you believe it? I would've posted earlier...but today was a legit rest day. People left my house around 2:30...but I was cleaning and stuff so didn't really sleep till like 4 ish. Was supposed to get up for lunch at 12 with rents and friends but I got up at like 3 lol...they didn't even bother waking me. Honestly just spent today loafting around on the computer literally. Not ready for school to start next week...even tho I only have 2 days of class...just knowing that school is back in session, people are leaving this weekend back to school...I think that's the biggest thing that's gonna bum me out. All these gatherings and times of fellowship are what I'll miss most...seeing everyone come out and chill together. Gonna suck seeing everyone leave...but what can you do right. I dunno...I'm been having real heart to hearts with myself as of late...this school year has been a pretty rough one so far...not even talking about the workload...but maybe I'll save that post for another time. Honestly can't believe the first day of 2014 is coming to an end...dang.