Dear Mom & Dad

It’s been a while since one of these spontaneous posts, but lemme talk to y’all for a moment...

First and foremost, I know EVERYTHING you do for me and say to me is out of love, like true love because you want the best for me. But I don’t care about your friend’s son, daughter, niece, nephew, pet goldfish, hamster or anything. I’m sorry I’ll never be that super smart kid you love hearing your friends talk about. I’m sorry I never was that super smart kid who got hella scholarships and went to some hella prestigious school in some well recognized program. I hate that you’ll never truly understand the way I feel or the way I think. I’m sorry I’m not some doctor, some lawyer or working somewhere in the States like a bunch of your friend’s kids you love to rave about so much. I’m sorry I have a bunch of tattoos, that I like to play basketball or video games on my spare time rather than read books and study. I’m sorry that you probably don’t have much to brag about to your friends except maybe “oh well he’s a really good kid”. I hate that you might never see things through my eyes, that the things that I value or find passion in are things you don’t really get. Sorry that you always get so weird when I tell you I’m going out with my non asian friends, partly why I just always say I’m going out with church friends to make my life easier. I swear one of my biggest goals in life has always been to make you proud of me, and I hope I’ve done so...even if it’s in the slightest. But I promise that I’ll find my way, that everything will be okay for me...it just might not be the way you expect or the way all your friend’s kids are doing it, I’m just different...and I hope that you can see that and keep riding with me the way you always have, cuz deep down I know through it all you’ve always been my biggest fans.

RT

Everything Happens For A Reason

I truly, truly find it so encouraging and rewarding when people tell me that they really relate or resonate with a blog post. This is just something that came to my mind, a reminder for myself and hopefully to you...that everything happens for a reason. I love looking back at some of the most stressful and toughest times of my life, the emotions I felt, and how it was all necessary to get me to where I am and who I am today. These are just some of the things that came to my mind when I thought of stressful and tough times. Reminding me that everything truly happens for a reason.

I’ve failed courses in university
I took longer to graduate than the my program intended
I liked a girl who liked another guy
I liked a girl who didn’t like me back
I’ve gotten passed up for a job
I dislocated my knee and was in a cast for 6 months
I fell for my best friend and it made things hella awkward
I’ve grown apart from some people I thought would be lifelong friends
I’ve disappointed my parents
I’ve struggled with confidence and self esteem
I still have no idea what I wanna or am doing with my life
Sometimes I feel like I’m playing catch up, like I’m behind in comparison to my friends
Sometimes I feel like I can never catch a break

Sorry it’s been so long, but till next time, peace!

Leaving It All Behind

There’s gonna come a time in your life when you have to leave a lot, if not everything behind. There’s gonna be a time in my life where I’m going to leave this blog, my parents, my brother, my friends, everything I’ve known all behind. I was talking to my brother a couple of weeks ago, he recently got engaged and is getting married in October. He also recently bought a condo with his fiancé, so he’ll be moving out in a few months. We were talking and he’s just like yeah, in a few months I’ll be leaving everything behind. His room, some of his stuff, this house we’ve been in for so long, my parents and of course me. No more like home cooked meals, family dinners, or just going out for Timmies or bubble tea. He’s starting a new life, new chapter, new job, new environment, new everything. It made me think about my own life...where there’ll come a time where I’ll have to leave my parents, my house and possibly my neighborhood and my friends behind, to move on to something new, and you can’t do that without letting go of everything else. I never had a true experience of living on my own cuz I stayed at home for university, so it’s always weird to think about like moving out one day and living on my own and stuff. It’s crazy talking to friends who are living on their own and just hearing their thoughts...whether they like miss their family and such. One commonality is that you definitely have to make a concentrated effort to see your friends and such. Like you really have to make plans and set a plan because life just gets so busy. Think about it...working 5 days a week already consumes so much time, then there’s spending time with kids and your significant other, of course you gotta allot time for like cooking, errands and chores. It’s not that easy to just hit your friends or family up and be like hey whatchu doing lol. I guess seeing my brother getting married and about to move on really made me think a lot, for one that I’ll hardly ever see him unless I go downtown or he comes uptown. It really drove home the fact that there’ll come a time for me where I’ll also have to leave a lot of things behind. Especially if your family comes first, whether that means moving to a different city, town or even country you know. I know this seems kinda down lol, but don’t take for granted the time you spend with your family and friends, cuz once that time is gone, it’s gone. Who knows where life will take you or them, could be different paths or it could be similar paths. Some of you might be lucky enough to do life with your family and friends even after you have your own family, some of y’all might not lol. It’s a testament to growth and to becoming your own person, till next time peace out friends.

Good Friends, Good Times

I don't really know what triggered this topic lol. I was thinking about this one particular friend I don't really speak to anymore, all the dope moments we share, all the times this friend was there for me...and it kinda led me to this...just a bunch of moments that came to my mind at that moment. These are just a bunch of moments in my life where my friends went out of their way to help me out, if you're not on this list it doesn't mean you've never helped me out, it just means I couldn't think of anything at that moment lol. One thing I''ll say is that I can go on and on about all the friends and all the times people have given me rides, driven me places or given me money or paid for my meals and stuff...but that list itself is so dang long I could go on and on about it, so I won't lol.

- this one time, I had an interview early Saturday morning and I was so busy with getting dressed and getting ready, I got into the car, started driving...realized I forgot my resume LOL, I was too far from home, so I called up my friend at like 8 am ish on that Saturday and asked her to print me my resume and I went to pick it up LOL, like c'mon, it's Saturday, you wanna sleep in...I'm surprised she even picked up the call lol, much respect

- one time my boys and I were going to a friends house for a barbecue, we took 2 cars, I was driving and hit a curb and got a flat tire...literally 5 guys sitting in the middle of a street figuring out how to fix a tire, we called up one of my boys who's good with cars and we all sat there trying to figure out where everything was and how to do it, we eventually did it and had a dope time at the brbecue LOL

- when I worked at the mall, I came out after my shift and the mall was closed only to realie my battery was dead cuz I had left the headlights on LOL, called multiple friends who either didn't know how to do it or didn't have the tools, finally called me one friend who was like I'm kinda with my girlfriend right now in North York which was like 25 min away from where I was. He's like call me back if you can't find anybody else, I couldn't so this mans ditched his girlfriend to come help me jump start my car lol,much appreciated

- one of my closest boys started at as simply the plug LOL, we weren't really close but he hooked me up with a lot of stuff, my first ipod touch, a bunch of clothes I wanted and even my first pair of Jordans lol, much respect

- I remember my birthday a few years ago I was hella sad cuz I had no plans, I think a bunch of my friends were busy or away, it wasn't until super last minute like 2 different groups of friends ended up asking me to chill and I ended up chilling with both of them separately but also together, it was one of those things where someone very unexpected reached out to me to catch up and yeah, I appreciated it greatly

- I'll never forget the night I slept on my basement floor cuz I had this huge thing with my brother lol, the next day my boy took me out to run basketball with his team to clear my head and also another friend took me to dinner and we just had some god conversations, spent like a good 2 hours outside my house in his car just talking, a lot of dope conversations seem to happy when I'm in the car...

- this one time, I was either really sick or I had gotten my wisdom teeth pulled out, one or the other I can’t really remember but my friend hit me up cuz she knew I had been stuck at home for days in a row and took me out for congee and it was dope, sometimes it’s just the little things...

- this last one actually happened just last year, this one friend surprised me at my own house LOL, she brought together my church friends and my high school friends and bought all the stuff I had told her I liked like candy, chocolate, cake and even a piñata LOL, definitely a night I’ll never forget