Lately I've been really busy and somewhat stressed with a lot of planning and coordinating with church stuff, school and of course the everyday issues that come and go...it's been slowly but surely eating away at me...from my energy to just my patience and my happiness you know. The more you dwell on stress and how hard your current situation is, the worse you feel. So my church is having a combined program with the church we're branched from and my friend and I are organizing it and we're both also on the worship team. The program is at the end of November and we had only one practice before yesterday and I wasn't able to make it, so I was feeling a bit worried as to if we'd be prepared in time. So yesterday, I spent most of the day listening to the songs cuz they picked a bunch of songs that I'm unfamiliar with and like an hour or two before practice, just sitting in my room listening to the songs...it gave me peace, it gave me joy...just closing my eyes and really meditating on the lyrics...it gave me peace, despite how anxious I've been lately about everything, it was really nice. We had practice yesterday and it was just amazing being able to fellowship with my fellow brothers and sisters through song and worship. They told me they wanted me to rap and I had been informed about it before by my friend, but I thought he was joking, so I brushed it off, but today they confirmed they actually want me to do it lol. So yesterday night literally at like 1-2 am...I couldn't sleep and I was like hey let's try to get started on this...and I ended up finishing the whole thing in like an hour...and I actually really like it and don't see myself changing it around too much, so I might just stick with it. I swear...God's really been working in my and revealing Himself to me as of late...and reminding me that all this...all the so called stress and "work"...is all for His glory...to advance His kingdom and His gospel...and that...that gave me joy...it was a nice reminder.
"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."
- Philippians 1:12-18
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