Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

When it comes to your comfort zone and specifically stepping out of it, I feel like there's different levels to it. Imagine like a video game, you start as a beginner and as you get more experience and you level up, you get better and better at it. When I was a kid for example in school and in class...stepping out of my comfort zone meant things like raising my hand in class to answer a question or presenting in front of the class. As I got older, it became things like being in public settings and talking to new people or just meeting new people in general. There's different levels to stepping out of your comfort zone and it depends on the kind of person you are and what level you're at. I think no matter what level you're at, meeting new people will forever be something that's hard to do because it's not natural for most people I feel. For me, one of my personal goals and challenges to myself these past couple of years has been to step out of my comfort zone, like really make a conscious effort to do things I'm not comfortable with. So like signing up for Teens Conference for one was a big step out of my comfort zone. I've been going to so many interviews lately and been putting myself in so many situations to talk to random people that holding or starting a random conversation with people I don't really know isn't as scary as it once was, it's still scary, but not as scary. I'll forever remember my talking to my cousin and when I was talking to her, I was looking at my feet and she was like Rodmond, one of the most important things to learn is eye contact, it lets people know you're engaged, that you're there and not zoning off somewhere lol. But yeah, one of my goals as of late has just been to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone...one thing that's kinda been on my mind is to possibly go out of the country to teach...now that's like on the extreme spectrum, that's like full out jumping out of my comfort one at full force, it's also something that's not that likely to happen tho lol. It's funny when I think about the opposing situations because for an introvert like myself, a super loud and in your face situation is uncomfortable whereas I've seen a lot of extroverted people feel uncomfortable in quiet and/or isolated settings because they're so used to being in situations where people are always talking or things are always happening, so I guess it kinda goes both ways. But yeah, that's been the challenge for myself and I'll even issue that challenge to you...wherever you're at on the spectrum...I challenge you to do something that's uncomfortable, that you're not used to. Maybe raising your hand in class, approaching someone new, or maybe it's being quiet and finding time for yourself...what's that thing that's new, that's different, that's uncomfortable for you...and challenge yourself to do it.

Slow And Steady

So I was in the car with my mom the other day and she kept badgering me about work and school. She kept asking me what's the plan, what's the plan? She'd ask me what I want to do but then she'd be like you should do banking, you should do I.T., you should do this, do that. I got hella cheesed cuz she always does this...now I know it's out of love, but damn. Parents love to bring up what your friends or what their friends' kids are doing compared to you. It was a real big reminder to me and hopefully an encouragement to you...that everyone moves at their own pace. That's kinda been my life story, moving at my own pace, taking longer than the norm. Honestly, some people just take longer to figure things out...and that's okay...in this race of life, you're not competing against anybody, you're just trying to get to the finish line. Whether that means taking a victory lap, or taking longer to graduate university than your program intends like I and so many people I know have...it's okay. It's okay to make mistakes, to experience setbacks and to realize some things aren't for you. Whether it's switching programs, switching jobs, sometimes you learn best through trial and error, not everyone is meant to or has to get it right on the first try. Especially when it comes to new things...I had no idea what I was doing when I was picking courses for high school, for university, I still have no idea what I'm doing trying to find a job...it's all about trying things and figuring out what's for you and what isn't. I know our natural tendency is to want to compare ourselves to our friends, to people our age or even younger...but just remember everyone moves at their own pace...that means some people might move faster than others and some move slower...there isn't a right or wrong...and there isn't a set formula for you to follow to become successful because you have to figure out yourself and figure out what works for you. Just remember that, it's not about beating anybody or finishing the race as fast as you can...it's just about getting to the finish line, and you'll get there eventually...peace.

Opinions vs Advice

This is gonna be a very subjective topic, something that's gonna have differing viewpoints depending on who's reading it. When does someone's opinion become advice and when is advice simply someone's opinion on a matter? I googled it and apparently advice is given from someone who is qualified based on their experience versus an opinion from someone who has limited or no experience on a particular topic. So to paint you a picture, imagine I go shopping with a girl friend of mine and she's asking me which dress I think looks better on her, something like that which I know absolutely nothing about...I'd be giving her my opinion...oh this one because the colour is better or I like the style of it. Whereas if I went shopping with my guy friend for jeans or something and he asks me which one I prefer, I'd have more experience with fit, body shape, style and all that stuff and can offer him a better answer and because I'm more qualified to talk about that, it's therefore advice. So where am I even going with this post you ask? LOL, well lemme share with you a funny story first...I was chilling with this dude I went to school with and I'm not really great friends with him, so he goes oh so Rodmond, how'd the blog going? For one, I never know how to respond when people ask me that, I'm just like uh, good, going strong. he's like cool man, hey if you ever want any advice on how you can make your blog better, let me know...there's a lot of things I think you need to improve on. For one, I was still trying to process what he said and how he said it that I was just like oh haha, cool, sure thing. But in my head I was like bruh, I personally felt like he had no experience in that area nor did he know me well enough to say something like that in that kinda tone y'feel? Perhaps that's just me being sensitive, but it's something you really had to hear for yourself to fully grasp LOL. Anyways, back to the whole advice and opinion thing...everyone has something to say and feels some sort of way about everything. If you buy a shirt, if you do a test, if you run a race, if you go on a date...everybody has something to say about it, everybody has their two cents, which there's nothing wrong with. But how do you differentiate between what is just someone's opinion and what is someone's advice? Take your friends for example...you might be struggling with a particular situation and you go to your friends for help, for comfort and all that stuff...but is what their saying actually advice or is it just their opinion? Like there's a plenty of stuff I'll go to my friends for, but there's also plenty of stuff I wouldn't go to my friends for. Does that make sense? That's why you have so many friends and groups of friends right? Imagine if you only went to that one friend about every single thing you go through seeking advice...yeah they might give you some dope advice, but you might also hit them with some stuff they're not experienced in or know nothing about y'feel? I say this because I know so many people who feel so qualified to give everyone advice on everything but I'm just like wait, you don't know much about that yourself, how can you be telling someone what to do? Like take relationships for example, how can someone give advice if they've never been in a relationship? I don't care if you've watched hundreds of romantic movies and studied couples, nothing beats first hand experience y'feel? But that also kinda brings me to the next part of the whole advice and opinions...which is on you, the receiver. As much as you seek out advice, lemme simplify it and say advice is still just someone's opinion, it's just a more qualified opinion. As the receiver, it's still you who has to deal with  whatever you're seeking advice for? Meaning it's nice to get advice and hear opinions, but be careful not to let that become your answer, advice is only meant to help, to hint and to point in the right direction...it's not meant to physically push you and hold your and walk with you. I say this because a lot of times, we'll seek advice, get good advice and constantly keep going to that source for advice, it becomes our answer, we don't think for ourselves anymore, it's like oh, I'll just get advice and do exactly what they say. Advice is dope, but you still have to do and think for yourself. Keep that in mind...advice is still someone's opinion on what they think you should do, they just have more experience on the matter versus someone who doesn't, that's all...till next time, peace out.

From The Heart #4

From The Heart #1
From The Heart #2
From The Heart #3

Hey friends, it feels like it's been a while...has it? I've been lacking motivation as of late...wasn't even sure if I'd get a post out today, but here I am...writing. I guess let's just get straight into it. One of the worst feelings is when things are out of your control...wishing you could do more. When relationships end, friendships weaken, people leave...it sucks because in most of these situations, it's out of your control, I don't wanna say it doesn't hurt, but it definitely hurts less because you tell yourself there was nothing you could do about it anyways. You're kinda just left wondering if you could've done more...if I could've done more...

More to make you stay...
More to make you like me...
More to make you happy...
More to make you feel better...
More to make things feel like they used to...
More to make you feel welcome or comfortable...
More to make you understand...

Each of these statements represents somebody or a situation in my life where I was left wondering if I should've done more, if I could've done more. There's a lot of people in my life that kinda just walked away or distanced themselves...whether from me or in the place/situation that we were in. Again, it leaves you wondering what you could've done to make them stay...whether fixing something about yourself or their situation. The thing is, with people I've been close to...you don't just stop caring for somebody that once meant so much to you y'feel? I always wonder how they're doing, if they're happy or sad, how their life is going. I've seen so many relationships and friendships fail...my own especially...but I guess in the case of people simply leaving or walking out of your life, it never gets any easier. You build bigger walls, you close yourself off a bit more and you make it more difficult to open up to others and vice versa.

Growing Up Asian

So I live in the city of Markham, I went to both elementary and high school here. There's a lottttt of asian people in Markham. The high school I went to was probably 70% asian. The funniest thing about growing up asian or in a school and city that is primary asian isn't about the asians themselves, but about the non-asians that grow up within these surroundings LOL. I remember in elementary school, waaaaay before Facebook, we used things like Xanga, Asianavenue and Zuup LOOOL. If you remember those things, mannn it was so sick. It's like myspace essentailly, you create your own page, put music, decorate it however you want and you can write on people's pages and stuff. The funniest thing was I had this black friend who was insistent on not creating one of those pages but a group of girls ended up creating a page for him and the mans loved it LOOL, he like went off, was so into decorating and putting music on it, it was hilarious. Growing up in a primary asian school and city mean a lot of asian restaurants, like a lot. In high school I chilled with a lot of non  asian people, I had these 2 black friends I'd always go to lunch with at the plaza across our school. So the plaza had like subway and a pizza place, but it was mostly asian places so that's where we'd go cuz it was cheap and there was a lot of variety. So one of the guys was very open and down to try new things, the other was very hesitant and adamant on sticking with what was comfortable. So we'd go to this asian restaurant and my friend and I would get random asian dishes, my other friend...would ALWAYS get chicken wings and fries LOOL. Every time he ordered it, the waitress would give him a dirty stare cuz no one goes to asian places to order chicken wings and fries lol. It was so funny because it got to the point where the lady knew what he wanted every single time, she'd look at him and be like "chicken wings and fries?" LOOOL I know it sounds hella racist, but it was so funny/ Sticking with that same friend, chilling with him throughout high school, university and even to this day, there's soooooo many foods and types of foods that he hasn't tried yet. I swear he just started eating sushi like within these past few years...and he ate it with a fork at first LOOOL. Bro, the first time we went to sushi, all he would order was chicken and spicy salmon LOOOL, now he's gotten a bit better, still hesitant, but a bit more open. There's still soooo many things he hasn't tried yet...dim sum, pho, hot pot, all these things that us asian people eat on the daily...he hasn't and isn't willing to try LOL. I was talking to a co-worker a couple of months ago and he said the same thing...that he's never tried korean barbecue, sushi, hotpot, pho or all that stuff before...but that he really wanted to try korean barbecue. It just made me go wow, like there's probably so many other foods that I haven't tried before either but because I've grown up around asian culture all my life, that's all I know, but it was also like wow, I can't believe he's never tried all that before. Let's throw it back again to elementary school...I remember trading snacks with my non asian friends because they loved asian snacks, but their parents would never buy it. Those koala bear cookies, pocky sticks and stuff, I'd trade that for the snacks my parents would never buy me like twinkies LOL. I think of the show Fresh Off The Boat LOL, when he opens his thermos and just an overwhelming scent of asian food everywhere, that's my and I'm sure a lot of your life stories. It's just funny to think about all these things is all...some foods that we eat on the daily and are so accustomed to may be new, different and weird for others...and vice versa y'feel. Growing up asian also means a priority is put on grades and academics, for me...I was lucky to be an outlier in that case. My parents never demanded A's from me and never pushed me to do well in school...they only asked me to do my best...and I'm forever grateful for that. I've seen kids stress and hold hella resentment to their parents because of these things. Growing up asian for me was cool cuz I had a lot of non asian friends and I primarily chilled with them so I feel like I had a good understanding of what it meant to grow up asian but I also got a good perspective of how my other friends felt being surrounded by it you feel. But yeah, hope this post maybe brought you down memory lane lol or maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about...till next time, peace.