This Summer...

Sorry for the slacks again...is it possible for time to be moving slow yet fast at the same time? Fast as in like what...the last post was Tuesday...has it been that long? Slow as in sometimes days feel like they take forever to end...but fast also as in damn, another school year is almost over. And with summer looming...plans are already piling up lol...let's see, got summer school from May to June, hopefully look for a job, recently signed up for 9 weeks of dodgeball every Monday starting tomorrow, coaching/playing softball in the summer, hoping to join an ultimate league probs once a week, leading the worship team for my church retreat in July...that's all I can think of atm. But right now the plate is pretty full too...with exams coming up, lots of things going on at church like leading worship, weddings, my old pastor leaving for good...definitely a really hectic, fast yet slow month you know...man...

10 Albums

So I got tagged to do this a while back on Facebook, but I'm deciding to do it here instead. Pretty much it's a list of albums that have meaning to you, that inspire you or just your favourite albums...it's supposed to be 12, but I'm gonna do 10...so here we go...

1. Drake - So Far Gone
Had to start it off here, Brand New was the first ever Drake song I heard and I've been hooked since, this represents the first of many Drake songs that I began listening to, also marks the beginning of his eventual blow up.

2. J. Cole - The Warm Up
Another great place to continue...first song I ever heard from J. Cole was Lights Please...after that, it was a wrap...this dude may be my favourite lyricist, just the emotion and passion he puts into his lyrics really inspires me.

3. Trey Songz - Ready
Man this album helped get me through some rough times, but it also brings back some really great memories as well. One mind, one heart, one love, always.

4. Mary J. Blige - Growing Pains
Definitely one of my faves, not many R&B albums where I like every song, so there may not be many albums on this list lol, we'll see what I can come up with.

5. Tyga - Careless World
This is one of those cases where I downloaded the album and didn't expect much and started listening to a few songs and it was really good, so listened to the whole album and it was great. It's a good mix of rap/r&b if you don't like purely one by itself.

5. Meek Mill - Dreamchasers 2
This was definitely really hyped, isn't it like the most downloaded mixtape on datpiff? But yeah, this is the mixtape that got me on Meek, I like his flow a lot.

6. Fabolous - The Soul Tape 2
Another case of downloading the album and only checking out one song cuz it was featuring J. Cole, ended up checking out a few other songs and soon enough the whole album and I really love it. He's another one of those artists who's lyrics go further than just the words.

7. Logic - Young Sinatra: Undeniable
This was real hard cuz I can put like 3-4 of Logic's mixtapes on this list but I'm trying to keep each artist to at least one, maybe one or two exceptions we'll see. But yeah, I remember my friend letting me listen to Growing Pains II which was on Young Sinatra and I downloaded that mixtape, loved it and downloaded his other ones, been on him since.

8. Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid M.A.A.D City
I'm pretty sure any real hip hop head has this album on their list...for good reason. Kendrick does more than rap, put words together that rhyme or even rap with substance...he tells a story, with each song and through his entire album, that's pretty crazy.

9. Drake - Nothing Was The Same
A toss up between this and Take Care...but you know Drake had to be on this list twice...from his beautiful vocals on Hold On, We're Going /Home (tho he can't sing live)...to the seriously heartfelt lyrics and beat on Too Much...and From Time...this whole album goes hard...definitely witnessing the maturation of Drizzy.

10. J. Cole - Born Sinner
Was there ever any doubt...? My favourite artist...love every song on this album...have all of his mixtapes and albums...the dude has a passion and heart for music that is only seen in the likes of Kendrick and very few others. He definitely inspires me to write more...to write with passion and to tell a story with my words. "Let these words be the colours, I'm just paintin' my heart." - J. Cole

The Future...As Always

"I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future."

That is something that I've been holding in my heart as of late. That all these talks of the future, all these worries and fears of the future...shouldn't be. Cuz yeah it's scary, walking down a road and not knowing where you're going. But Hebrews 11:1 says faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we do not see. To me, that's a reminder that even though we don't know what's going to happen in the future, I trust that God has a perfect plan for me and His timing will come in due time, I just have to trust Him and have patience. It gives me lots of encouragement and confidence...that though I may not know what the future holds, I know who holds the future. And the One who holds the future is perfect and the Creator of this world...definitely lifts a burden from my heart.

If We Ever Meet Again...

There's honestly not much to say to you any more. Everything that I had on my heart, even if I were to express it to you, would be irrelevant and wouldn't change anything. I feel like right now you and I...we're just on two different paths...unfortunately. I pray it doesn't go down the same route as the other one, but only time will tell right? Trust me when I say there's so many things I wish I could say to you, but deep down I know I shouldn't...because it wouldn't change anything and it's not beneficial to anyone. Everyone around me seems to me 100% convinced that this feeling I have for you is...well I don't wanna say love, but bigger than friendship. But only I truly know deep down what I feel for you...and I'm still kinda on the fence...as to whether I miss my best friend...or if it's something more than that. All in due time...

Dreams

You ever have those dreams that feel so real, that literally feel like it's happening, then you wake up like freaking out cuz you think it actually happened...then you check to see if it did and it didn't? I hate those lol...cuz usually they're like bad dreams and I wake up like sweating or my heart is beating fast. I had one this morning...I was parked in my old elementary school, changing the tire then 2 guys came to me and we started talking about random stuff and next thing I knew they jumped me and stole the car. Then I woke up and was like freaking out cuz my whole fam wouild've flipped if that actually happened. Ran upstairs to check out the window and the car was there...and a huge sigh of relief followed lol.

To Soothe The Soul...

I know I've been m.i.a, hope this'll make up for it for now...can't stop listening to covers of Whitney Houston - I Have Nothing...this one is one of my favourites...the winner of season 5's The Voice Tessanne Chin...

Tessanne Chin - I Have Nothing from Douglas on Vimeo.

Writer's Block

Sometimes I don't know how to approach a post lol...I told you guys I have a bunch of topics on my phone and I do...but sometimes I don't know how to approach them, they range from stories to pretty personal things. I'll give you some examples...I'll have like a quote written down and that's a post cuz I'd just elaborate on what it means to me and how it inspires me. Another example would be like a situation or event that happened to me...I would talk about how it affected me or what it meant to  me, things like that.Then there are the personal posts, the ones that I love to write about, but find trouble starting it, cuz there's so much to write, I don't wanna miss something or I don't wanna completely write down every single detail you know...but bare with me, I have like 4-5 left on my phone...slowly but surely working on them, but random on the spot posts of course here and there, thanks.

Typical Hero Duties...

So I'm not sure if I've shared this story with you guys before, happened sometime last year. So I was in the library one time studying with a friend. I was on the 3rd floor and on this floor the shelves they move. Meaning like there's a knob at the end of each shelf that you turn clockwise or counter clockwise to get the shelf to move left or right, saves space I guess? So I was sitting beside this aisle and this lady is there looking for books. All of a sudden the shelf behind her starts closing in and is about to sandwich her between another shelf. Some girl on the other side was apparently turning it thinking no one was there, so the girl about to be sandwiched like screams out hey I'm in here, the girl stops turning it, peeks in, seeks her and walks away. So this girl is literally sandwiched between the shelves and she can't move, So I like ran all the way around and turned the knob the other way and freed her cuz she was like yelling for someone to help her lol, btw the area I was in was a quiet area in the library so like everyone was like staring and her and me afterwards LOOL...definitely a memorable moment at York, thankfully the girl didn't get like fully sandwiched, she just couldn't move cuz there was literally no space.

Stevie Hoang - The Other Guy

Boy, Man, Father...

Sometimes I kick back and think about the future, as always lol...but this is a good kind of reminiscing. I sit back and think about starting a family and the kind of dad I would be. Honestly I can't wait to be a dad and do dad things. I would wan at least one boy and girl just so I can have on of each. Play sports and wrestle with my son but also comfort and talk with my daughter. With my son I'd wanna like put him into sport programs but more

Importantly teach him what it means to be a man. With my daughter, I swear I'm gonna be such a softie lol like spoil her and make her daddy's little princess LOL. But at the same time I know I'll be an overprotective dad when it comes to boys and if she ever wants to date. But the biggest thing is I want my kids to be able to talk to me about anything, that's super important to me, to have that connwction. But man starting a family is gonna be so sick...family dinners, outings. But being a dad especially has me excited lol. My kids buying me birthday presents, parent teacher nights, report cards, their friends coming over for get togethers or parties and me like preparing ish for them. Haha man I know it's a long way away, but definitely can't wait to be a dad.

Growing Up, Growing Old...

I was talking with a friend the other day about the church basketball team he's on, it's a mens league so all the guys are like in their 30's and like married and such. He was telling me how a lot of them grew up in the church, but no longer go to church and have fallen away from God. That got me thinking a lot...about our church and even myself...how I've grown up in the church and so have a lot of people that are still there. Pastors always come and go and they say that university is the time where a lot of people fall away from God and stop going to church. And I've definitely seen that happen as of late...but just to think that like 5 years from now, 10 years from now...when we're all married and have kids (hopefully), where will we be? Will we still be at church? Or any church in general? Or even will we still be friends or keep in contact, kinda scary. I'm definitely seeing a lot of distance as of late between everyone. Just cuz everyone's busy with their lives, school, life after school, jobs, things like that...people have to worry about life and the burdens of life that work and everything starts to take over sometimes. It's scary...I guess that's also a reason why I decided to stay in town for university...I'm a home kinda guy...I love my family and friends too much to leave them. People are like I can't wait to move to a different country or city and live there...I probably wouldn't be able to leave eberything...leave home. But yeah...that's a really scary thought...where will we all be iu 5-10 years? Man...

Brother From Another Mother...

So I shared this yesterday at church during our prayer meeting...pretty much you guys know I play sofball for the church that my church is branched from. So this year I'm gonna move up to senior and be on leadership, this year they're doing something different where they have interviews for anyone who wants to be on leadership. Just to make sure you fulfil the proper requirements (baptised, consistent church goer, etc) and that your heart is in the right place. So one of the questions that the pastor and the guy asked me was "in your own church, do you have that group of brothers (specifically guys) that you can go to and talk to about anything and everything?" Right away, no hesitation I said definitely, I started thinking about all the guys at my church and how I'm close to a lot of them, all the conversations we've had, how close I've grown to a lot of them, how long I've known them for, it definitely made me smile inside. But rewind a bit earlier into the day where I was outside with my friend playing ball and we were sitting in his car after just talking. We talked about the same thing...he felt that his group was much smaller, that he didn't have many brothers to open up to...that he himself kinda put up barriers and didn't feel like opening up to the other guys aside from the ones he was comfortable with. I told him about when I first moved up to the university fellowship and I put up the exact same barriers and it wasn't that they weren't trying to approach me, but it was that I wouldn't let them. I told him about the guys that I've been talking to and growing closer to as of late...how I first thought we had nothing in common cuz we come from different social groups you know...but one thing led to another, God provided me with the opportunities to get to know them and here we are. I told him how it's about just letting it all go and opening up yourself. I remember one time I was in the car with a friend and we weren't too close, we had only bonded cuz we were both into working out and one day after dinner on a Friday he was driving me home and I remember I was really down and struggling with something and I needed someone to talk to...halfway through the ride I was like yo can I share something with you and we ended up talking in front of my house till like 1 and it was winter so when we finished his car battery was like super cold and we had to jumpstart his car lol, but that was the beginning of something you know. That's what I told my friend, you have to look out for those opportunities and sometimes God will put them in front of you and it's up to you if youw ant to to seize it. That was just me to him...that every close friendship started somewhere...it was just nice being able to talk and encourage him with my experiences. But anyways...going back to the original question that I was asked...I definitely have a lot of brothers I can go to, talk to, share with and open up to...and that means the world to me...that I have a good group of guys I can call brothers...where it goes deeper than basketball, videogames, working out and all that...it's a deeper connection and that's what I love about my brothers.

My Best Friend...

Sorry, before I get into the post, lemme say that I told y'all I have a lot of posts on my phone...not the full things, just topics or very short synopsis' so I don't forget lol...cuz if I only write the title I'll forget what I wanted to talk about...or if I leave it for too long, I'll forget the details of what I wanted to talk about as well lol. I'm gonna go on a gut feeling and say this cuz it's they're the first 2 that came to my heart...but it probably is debatable if I really think long and hard about it, but...I personally feel throughout these last few years of my life, I've only have 2 best friends. When I say best friend, I mean your absolute other half...someone who knows everything about you and vice versa, someone you feel 200% comfortable with and vice versa. Someone who you can share anything to and vice versa. Thinking back these like 5+ or so years...again going on a gut feeling cuz this is what my heart is telling me...I've only had 2 best friends. coincidentally they're both girls...I dunno...like my friend said, that's just how we were created...guys just have a natural connection with girls and vice versa...and me personally I feel more inclined to open up to a girl and get more close and intimate and personal with what we talk about. Anyways...I was chilling with a friend a few weeks back and he asked me something...do you have that one person you can tell anything to, talk about anything with, share and confess anything to...someone who'll keep you totally accountable and always be there. Someone who knows you inside out and vice versa...automatically one person came to mind and I told him about her. He was surprised when I explained to her how close we were...but back to the point...I used to get really annoyed at her cuz she was the type to have a lot of friends and she would tell me she didn't have one best friend...but many...and different friends catered to different purposes...and that really hurt me...it felt like she was in a grocery store and instead of picking one thing, she picked a bunch of things. There I was giving my all to her and she saw me as one of her best friends. But all that is besides the point, back to the question he asked me of do you have that one person...and I said no...all those qualities you listed and all those traits you listed...I have them all, but scattered throughout different people. The same thing that I got mad at my "best friend" for is the exact same thing I began to do. And I'm not saying it's wrong or it's bad. But I genuinely have a good circle of brothers and sisters I trust with my life...and each other them cater to different needs and we can talk about different things...that's not to say I have like that many best friends...but it's to say sometimes you can't talk to certain people about certain things. I dunno...it got me kinda down cuz it made me think about my 2 best friends which came to my mind when he first asked me the question...the first one...well we aren't nearly as close as we were before...the second one...as weird as it sounds, I see it going down the same route...oddly enough the same way as well...but we'll see. For now, I'm honestly thankful of the circle of people in my life right now who I am comfortable with opening up to and sharing my inner most feelings, thank you.

The Heart Speaks...

My First Time At The Gym...

Oh man...I remember it like it was yesterday, it was at Goodlife like maybe when I was like early high school...I think they had a two week free trial or something. Keep in mind, I've never been to the gym, know nothing about lifting weights, only lifting at home and all I had was a basic bench and bar that weighed nothing...that's important to note, cuz the weights I put on is the only weight. So I go to the gym and the bench is the first place I go. So remember how I told you my bar at home weighed nothing, apparently the bars in gyms weighed 45 pounds and I didn't know that lol...so I did the math and I lifted 90 pounds at home...so I'm like okay...I can throw 45 pounds on each side at Goodlife and be no problem...you can probably guess what happened next...soon as I unracked the weight...it like plopped onto my chest and I couldn't get it up LOOOOL...luckily this old white guy was nearby and helped me get it up...said thanks, got up, walked away from the bench LOOOOL...oh man...too funny

Since Friday...

Sorry guys lol...what have I been up to since Friday...well Saturday I actually went outside to play ball with my friend lol...he convinced me it wasn't that cold and surprisingly it wasn't. After we sat in the car and talked for a good hour or so...definitely a nice time with a fellow brother to catch up and just encourage each other. That same night I had to go to church for a softball interview, they're doing something different this year where they interview all potential leaders...just to make sure you have the right motives and your heart is in the right place, etc. Sunday was another long day...woke up early cuz I had to lead worship, after service and sunday school we had worship practice till 5, then finally got in some good ball runs from 5-7, was gonna go dinner with a friend but that flopped lol so I just stayed home. Monday...I think I just stayed home all day and relaxed lol. Today, went to school...first day back...oh yeah if you didn't know there was a shooting at my school...feel free to google York University...so yeah, everyone at school is kinda on high alert cuz it only happened on Thursday...went to class and went home right away...wanted to go to the gym, but don't realy wanna stay on campus for so long...so yeah lol. Just came home from the movies with the crew...watched the new 300 movie...def not as good as the first, but still great. Btw...sorry for the lack of posts and the laziness...but...when things to come into my mind, like things to write about, I write them all down on my phone, so I have like a good 5-10 posts on my phone ready to write about...just gotta find time cuz I don't wanna just throw it all at you at once lol.

Typical Modern Family

I woke up this morning at like 8...cuz I couldnt't sleep..fell back asleep at 9 ish till like 1 lol. But during that hour I was thinking about my family. And how in a lot of aspects, my parents are a lot like the stereotypical mom and dad. My mom is like the protector of the household...the mother bird who protects the nest and will do anything in takes to protect her young. My mom is the type of person to always make sure I have money for lunch, if I'm home alone she'll prepare things for me to eat or leave me notes saying there's this in the fridge and stuff. She's the mother bird who always has and always will protect and provide for her young and I love that about her. My dad is like the provider, the father who leaves the nest to go hunt for food and bring it back for his young as well. My dad isn't the real sensitive type...he'll let me wander on my own and trip and maybe scrape my knee, but in that he'll teach me a lesson. My dad has always been the type to let me learn things on my own and if I want something I'd have to earn it or work for it, no shortcuts and I love that about my dad. My mom is the sensitive one and the one who spoils me lol...like going grocery shopping my mom will look at everything and be like do you want this, do you want that and stuff...whereas my dad will let me wander off on my own and be like yeah grab whatever you want, just not too much lol. As much as my parents differ, it's honestly a really healthy combo and I love them both and their differences. I think back now to when my mom and dad would individually ask me who I would go with if they ever separated...and I can't answer that...my mom is the soft, sensitive provider who'll always be there for me when I need her. Say I'm like 35 years old, no job, no wife...my mom will still welcome me in with open arms and I love her for that. My dad is the tough, stern, lecturing dad who forces me to learn and do things on my own...who'll tell me to get off my butt and go do something with my life...and I love him for that as well. So as you can see...my parents are pretty different in their own ways...and I guess that's what completes my family at least...and that's how I've grown to who I am today.

Stevie Hoang - One Last Try/The Way We Used To Be (Acoustic)

The Road To 200,000

Can you believe it...I surely can't. I was talking to my friend the other day as he recently got into making youtube videos and we were talking about his channel and like yo...imagine one day you blew up. Cuz with youtube, that can happen at anytime, you wake up one day and your video has like 10,000 views, another few hours and 100,000 and such and such...things go viral so fast nowadays. We were talking like imagine how your life would change...look at all those youtubers who like stopped school or pursuing their career to do youtube full time...cuz literally it is something that takes up all of your time and can provide for you. Imagine if that happened...one day you're worried about school and getting a job in the future and the next thing you know you're dropping out of school or something LOL. But that just brings me back to the many times I've thought about what would happen if this blog blew up...all it really takes is like one celebrity or famous person to view it and like tweet it our or post it on facebook and the hits will come pouring in lol. It'd definitely be really cool and something to wish for lol...but isn't something I'm necessarily gonna put all my effort into working towards. Obviously I could like tweet my blog link everyday to every single celebrity I follow on twitter...but that's not me...IF this blog does end up going anywhere in the future...it'll be natural...and because people genuinely like hearing and reading what I have to say. I don't do this for the attention, to be noticed or to be popular...the fact that all these countries and all these people have viewed my blog is just really a bonus for me. It does feel good to be noticed after all I do put all my heart and dedication into this...but that's exactly it...a lot of this is mainly for me...a place for me to vent, to share, to say what I want and what I feel...and that's how this blog started and that's how it still is and hopefully will continue to remain...it's like an online diary to me...sometimes I don't even think people read my posts...I just write them for the sake of expressing myself. But anyways...this is the road to 200,000 damn...thank you, well not yet...but soon enough...

As for now...here we are...active in 118 countries...no joke...

Albania, Anguilla, Antilles, Antiqua and Barbuda, Armenia, Aruba, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Barbados, Belgium, Benin, Bermuda, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, British Virgin Islands, Bulgaria, Burundi, Canada, Cayman Islands, China, Colombia, Côte d'Ivoire, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Dominica, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Estonia, Finland, France, Georgia, Germany, Ghana, Greece, Guadeloupe, Guam, Guatemala, Guyana, Honduras, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kenya, Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon, Liechtenstein, Lituania, Macau, Macedonia (FYROM), Malawi, Malaysia, Mali, Malta, Mauritius, Mexico, Moldova, Montenegro, Morocco, Myanmar (Burma), Netherlands, Netherlands Antilles, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Panama, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Singapore, South Africa, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Suriname, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, Uruguay, USA, Venezuela, Vietnam, Zambia