Till Tomorrow

Day 30/31

Sorry for no post...swear I'll make it up to you...it's been a super long day and I'm super tired right now...sorry

Every Blessing You Pour Out Part 2

Day 29/31

Hit you guys with a super late and super loaft post yesterday lol my apologies, I was super tired. My mom bought 2 new TV\s, one for living room and one for the basement cuz the basement one is messed. So my and my bro fixed it at like 11:30 till midnight and we were using it watching youtube videos and gaming till like 2 LOL. But yeah thought I'd hit you guys with an early post and hopefully get another one in tonight, like I said in the previous post...at church we had a meeting just talking about the year and what happened, what we learned and stuff. At morning serice, we were singing blessed be your name, which is where I got this title from...that song always speaks to me...talking about every blessing that God pours out, we'll turn it back to praise...and even when things get tough and the darkness closes in, still we'll praise Him. I think about 2014...and it's been a long year. With lots of ups and downs. This year...for me was a lot of searching and waiting...it's been a very slow year at times...but the fact that we're 2 days away from 2015 always tells me it's been a super fast year. But yeah...searching and waiting...searching for...a purpose in life, what to do after school, searching for an identity in Christ, searching for myself. God has been very good to me, but it hasn't been a walk in the park, it's taken a lot of patience. This post is not really an in depth look back at 2014...but it's more a personal reflection for me...and a thank you to God for being there every step of the way. I didn't get to share what my plans were for 2015 during the meeting cuz time ran out...but thinking on the spot now...first things is of course graduation...the fact that it's less than a year away is scary...but super exciting. What else...to really commit to the fellowship and let God do his thing. Hopefully get more teaching experience and seeing if it really is what I wanna do....from teaching sunday school to maybe getting a job or doing some volunteering. I think the biggest thing that I can think of right now is to stop holding on to the past or things that are not in my life atm...and focus and embrace the things that are. I def wanna grow in my walk with God and consistently read my bible and the last thing that I can think of (cuz I just woke up and I'm tired) is to just enjoy my life...not worrying about the little things.

Every Blessing You Pour Out...

Day 28/31

It's been a loooong day, super lazy to post, but not gonna give you guys nothing. Today we had a meeting at church to just review 2014. I talked about what I've learned and what God's been teaching me. I found this on my phone from 2013, it serves as a good reminder for me in every aspect of my life. 

Lone Wolf

Day 27/31

Yesterday we had fellowship and we had time to just share some funny stories and man now that I'm chilling so many funny stories are coming to my head lol. I remember when I first came to church, I was a reeeeal quiet kit. Like I always had my hoodie up, wouldn't talk to anybody (cuz I didn't know anybody too). I remember I would like never sing during worship and stuff, never talk in sunday school. One instance was funny cuz I remember after service one time I had my hood on...brought out my CD player, started listening to music and put my head down to go to sleep \LOOOL...my oh my how things have changed. One of the funniest moments tho has to be meeting my boy...the first person I ever met at church, I remember one of the adults talked my parents into making me go to fellowship and when I went, I remember sitting away from everybody in like the corner and not wanting to socialize with anybody. Low and behold, this one dude decides to come and sit beside me...here I am with my hood on like who dis boy...I don't know you like that. He's like my name is Isaac...shout outs to you cuz you know I love telling this story lol. He introduced himself and we talked for a bit and in my head I'm like great, now I gotta pretend to like this guy LOL. fast forward like maybe 8-9 years to the present and here we are...really great friends...lol love you man, some real good times.

Boxing Day Shenanigans

Day 26/31

Almost there...the new year is literally right around the corner...wow.So today was a looooong and tiring day...got home at like 2 am the night before and woke up at 6 to go to yorkdale to go shopping. Left the house like 7 and dropped dad to work, picked up my homies...driving on the highway there wasn't bad, but getting off took like a good 45 minutes...then finding parking too took like 20-30 minutes...finally got inside the  mall like at 9 ish. It was super crowded lol....we were so lucky to get a parking spot in such a short period of time. Any ways...ended up finishing everything like 1 ish...got home around 2 ish I think and just chilled at my friend's house. Tried to watch a movie but we were all so tired we barely got through it lol. Ended up going home around 4 ish...chilled at home, literally fell asleep when I got home, went to fellowship a round 7:30 ish. Had dinner after and now here I am...I know this seems like a slacks post...and it kinda is lol...I'm soooo tired....ran through the while day with just 4 hours of sleep....lol till tomorrow, peace.

Shoutouts to the homies, my sb's, the SnapBack, trackpant, sussman squad for an adventurous day...minus Timothy the kid who didn't want to join our photo shoot.

Merry Christmas

Day 25/31

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you're doing well and I hope you're spending Christmas with good company, whether family or friends. My day has been great, church in the morning, lunch with friends, they made sushi and we just chilled around. Came home for a bit and now out at another friends house chilling, we ordered pizza, watching basketball and playing board games and video games. Honestly the simplest things make me so happy. Just seeing people I haven't seen for a while and chilling and laughing and swapping stories. But yeah, I hope you're spending today with loved ones in general. This time of the year is always the nicest cuz it's just a time of fun and gathering. Anyways, I won't keep you for longs, Merry Christmas, catch y'all tomorrow!

On To The Next One...

Day 24/31

In high school, I was always very envious of those dudes who seemed to get all the girls. The dudes who would go from girl to girl in the span of like 2 weeks. Those dudes seem to have it all and they seemed to be really happy. As I've gotten older, I've been surrounded by a lot of different types of people and one of them being those dudes who get girl after girl after girl. On one hand...they're THE dude...the guy who can get any girl he wants. On the other hand...he's that dude who can't stay committed or hold down a relationship. Which is where this leads me to...I'm very close to this one guy...who is seeking really hard for a relationship...and he gets girls...he dates them for a short period of time...from a few weeks to like a month or two and then it's over...majority of the time it's the girl that tells him it's not working out or he's not what she was looking for. Now that brings me to 2 different aspects...one...as great an fun as this dude's life seems to be, it isn't. Two, it boggles my mind how girls will go for these guys knowing fully the kinda guys they are and when it doesn't work out they're like oh, oh well. But I'm not here to talk about the second area, but more so the first. I know this guy, I've seen this guy...he's a genuine dude...but when it comes to relationship, I don't necessarily agree with his philosophy and methods of like oh if it doesn't work out move on right away. That's why these things never last with him...in the span of let's say 6 months...he's probably dated (went on dates with/kinda dated) 6-8 girls...I'm talking either went on numerous dates with or was pretty much dating without calling it dating. Like that's not the way to live man...from the outside perspective...that's a fun life...no strings attached, you look like that guy who gets girls...but when you're that close to the person...you see the kinda emptiness or unsure feeling in their face of how come these things don't last...is it me...but you mask it by finding another girl...like c'mon man. Whenever these things end...I always ask him are you okay...and he's like yeah of course...it wasn't anything any ways...on to the next one right. But when he's in the relationships with them...it seems borderline serious and stuff and I can tell he's kinda happy. So I dunno...I feel for him...being one of those guys who used to be envious of this kinda life...I see the emptiness inside of all his manly-ness and such. It hurts me cuz this dude is really close to me and I've warned him numerous times about the dangers of this kinda lifestyle but he doesn't seem to listen...he's too fixated on the final result of dating and finding the one and such. And as much as I've been talking about relationships lately and how it would be really nice to be in one and find a girl to be with...these kinds of situations strongly turn me off and make me wanna be patient and to wait because I see the pain and emptiness that can come along with it as well.

What Am I Thankful For?

Day 23/31

I think I've been doing a pretty good job so far with posting everyday...tho sometimes a bit late lol...better late than never right? Any ways...with it being Christmas Eve already...thought I'd do something related to the occasion. Off the top of my head...obviously I'm super thankful for family...the people who will always have my back in any and every situation...no matter how bad I mess up. My friends...my ride or dies...the closest thing to family without being family...the people I share my inner most thoughts and feelings with...people I can be my complete self around and have an absolute blast with doing nothing, the homies. Life...for 22 years of a healthy life, with shelter, food, education and the freedom to have fun and enjoy everything in life. What else...I'm thankful that I'm almost done school...graduation coming up...I think about all the experiences I've had in university and people I've met and friendships I've made. Honestly, I can't think of much else lol...times have been real stressful as of late...and there's only been a few things really helping me get by...fam, friends, basketball lol. I could obvs go into specifics, but I'm mad tired now. I'll do a quick one I guess...obvs shout\outs to the J. Cole movie crew for being my brothers...my ride or die homies. The snapback, trackpant, sussman squad...my buddies, my friends, my brothers in Christ. My ball team...we win together, we lose together. My church fam...my foundation...y'all keep me strong when I feel weak. Hope I didn't forget anyone...you know I don't mean to, it's late...I'm tired...peace.

Days & Nights Like This...

Day 22/31

Once again, late...but I've told you guys, this time of the year is always very busy...out and about here and there with friends. But I love it...my friend today was saying how he feels bad going out every single night and like coming home late and ish. But like, how often are you going to be able to do this...come January...everyone's back to school...people go away...people are just more busy and instead of chilling consistently it's like oh you free next week? What about next week? I'm a firm believer of it's more important who you chill with that what you do...cuz I would rather chill with homies doing nothing than chill with some random mans like going clubbing or laser quest or something. Today was just one of those days...waking up to a text from the homie asking to go for lunch with the homies, went to mcdonalds with the crew and played monopoly deal for a good like 2-3 hours LOL, got home and just chilled and relaxed. Same homies wanted to chill at night and we were gonna go to demetres and visit one of our friends working but it was too crowded so we left after a bit and went to cha time instead and just chilled again, playing monopoly deal. Legit it's days and nights like these that are simple, yet fun and things that I prefer cuz you get to chill, talk and just laugh with your homies. Yeah activities and stuff are night...but sometimes, things like movies and like rock climbing or whatever get kinda eh...cuz you don't really get to communicate with your friends...which is why I've become less and less of a fan of going to the theatre and watching movies cuz you don't talk you just sit there watching a movie...whereas chilling at a friend's house watching a movie you can talk, laugh all you want, pause and get snacks. As hectic as this time of the year is with all the gatherings and stuff....I love it, I love how busy it is and I love just seeing old and familiar face and just spending time with good company.

Where Has The Time Gone?

Day 21/31

Life was so much simpler back when I was a kid. Looking back now, it felt like I had all the time in the world in high school to chill. I remember during lunch time in high school all the guys would go outside and we'd run football games...and like after school we'd be like yoooo who wants to play some football for a bit, little things like that are what I miss the most about being a kid...just how carefree you were and how chilling with your friends literally meant chilling with your friends. I miss the days when a bunch of us guys would meet at this one guy's house and play ball hockey cuz he had a net and a bunch of sticks. His street was cut off cuz they didn't extend it yet so no cars ever came through...I miss those times. Or times when the park beside my house was barely developed and it was just the swings and slide and the baseball diamond...and we would call a bunch of the guys and try to play baseball hahaha, those were good times man. I remember high school lunch, playing football with the homies...and we ended up making meeting the grade above us and having numerous football games that were both competitive and fun. Man...high school was such a relaxing time...nowadays I feel like kids aren't enjoying themselves the way we did back then. My best friend who lived like a block away...we played basketball every single day man...to the point where he would come over unannounced, ring my doorbell and be like yo, let's play ball LOL. I remember seeing him get a scooter and I begged my parents to get me one LOL, just riding around the neighbourhood and seeing other kids chilling and playing in their driveways, those were the days. I remember not learning how to ride a bike till like grade 7 or 8 cuz my neighbours had 2 bikes and they would always try to get me to ride it. First time riding the bike, I crashed into my neighbours brother riding his bike LOOOL. But hey, I learned eventually lol. I remember my best friend and I playing outside till it was dinner time...my parents getting cheesed cuz it was getting late and they were like yo come in for dinner...one of the best moments was after it rained very lightly...the grass was very lightly wet, but a nice cold feeling...my friend and I wood stand on the road beside the grass and toss a football around to the person's side closest to the grass and we would dive and catch it onto the grass hahahaa....we did that for house cuz it felt so cool to dive and catch the ball and the grass felt nice. Man, life felt like such a simpler time back in the day...people were just more free and down to do random stuff like play football, ball hockey...nowadays I don't see kids doing any of that stuff, and it's kinda sad. I miss those carefree days...life was definitely a simpler time back then.

You ARE The Father

Day 20/31

Sorry for the late post once again...a super busy, simple, yet fun filled day. Woke up at like 1, ended up going to my friend's house at like 5 and we just chilled with the homies...playing video games,monopoly deal, eating dinner and watching Maze Runner which was a pretty dope movie surprisingly. Any ways...

I remember in grade 11, I took a class called parenting...don't ask why lol cuz I don't remember. I do remember that in that course you had to take a baby home for like 2-3 days...this baby would cry and stuff like a real baby and you would have to determine what was wrong...feeding it, burping it and such. The baby had many different formats...so you could get a baby that never cried or you could get a colic baby...meaning a baby that would cry non stop for no reason. I remember when the signup first came out I was the first one to raise my hand and volunteer...I took the first weekend available cuz I didn't wanna bring it to school and have it crying in class and such and yeah lol. I remember not going out the entire weekend cuz I didn't wanna bring it everywhere and have it crying and just making a big scene. I remember the friday I brought it come...the first time it started crying...I didn't know what to do...all that came with the baby was a bottle and a stroller...it was so realistic like you had to support the baby's neck cuz it would show up on the results how many times it's neck went back cuz baby's at that age can't support their own neck . So I remember the first time it started crying the friday night...I didn't know what to do lol...teacher didn't give me no instructions and I was the first one to bring it home so I couldn't ask any other students for help. It kept crying and It ried evverything lol...I like tilted the neck back like twice cuz I was so frustrated...I brought it upstairs to my room, put it in the stroller...blasted music, closed the door and went downstairs LOOOOOOOL.Ic came back upstairs like 15 minutes later and it stopped crying. Eventually throughout the weekend I slowly figured it out lol...it was either the baby was hungry...where you would have to legit hold the bottle to it's mouth until it was full or you could have to hold it and rock it...and after eating it would start whining and making this noise, in which you would have to lightly pat the baby's back and make it burp...oh boy...this was a very interesting weekend. It would cry in the middle of the night like 3 am...5 am...and I would put it beside my bed and have the bottle handy so I could like chill in bed and put the bottle in it's mouth, it got annoying when I actually had to get up, hold the baby and pat it's back LOOL...handed it back monday morning and got a really good mark surprisingly...only thing was he's like oh you let the baby's neck go back one too many times LOL...it was def fun, just an interesting experience of what it would be like to have  a baby.

Slow Down, Relax, Take A Break

Day 19/20

If you're still up reading this...sorry, if you're reading this like brah...why so late...lol sorry.Today was a super long day...up at like 12, dropped dad to work, chilled at friend's house till like 5, picked mom from work, went home to shower, went bowling with fellowship till like 9:30 ish, went back to friend's house and chilled tull like 1...these are the kinda nights I love lol...loaft nights...just gaming with homies, making food, watching videos...chilling...simple, but it does the job.

This post is inspired by a lot of my friends...who are really busy. I've been here so many times as of late...you kinda lose yourself. When you're so busy and overwhelmed that your plate is literally overflowing. I know friend's who are so busy with school,work and a whole lot of other stuff that they legit have no time to themselves...which sucks. To the point where they're stressing like crazy. I remember many times where I've been like that...like last summer for example...I was so stressed...and it was summer...like I had work, summer school, coaching softball, teaching sunday school and a whole lot of other stuff...I was so busy with just having a lot of things to do that I didn't get to actually enjoy the things I was doing. That's how a lot of my friends are right now...and that's why I've been trying to adopt the opposite mentality. No matter how busy you get, sometimes you gotta drop everything, take a break and relax  I was having a conversation with my friend like a couple weeks ago and she was stressing about how work is super busy, school's coming up and she has no time to herself. My response...was to slow down...take a break...relax. Enjoy the little things in life because soon, you won't be able to....especially when you're a full fledged adult, working full time, starting a family...and it only gets busier from there...having kids, taking care of them. Now is the time...to really have fun, take a break, relax. As important as the future is and planning for it and stuff, I'm not saying drop all your activities and just go wild. I'm saying...sometimes, it's okay to stop and admire just the things around you (it's a metaphor). Sometimes life moves so fast that you forget to just slow down and take in the little things in life. As busy as you are right now...don't overwhelm yourself, what's the point of working so hard and stressing so much if you can't enjoy yourself a little bit along the way. So my advice you reading this right now...as busy and such as you are right now...slow down, relax, take a break. Don't be so focused on the finish line that you ignore the beauty that's around you...from the flowers to the scenery...whether that may be your friends or taking a break to rest and relax...the finish line will always be there, it's not going anywhere.

Freedom

Day 18/31

Consider this a day off...I'm so exhausted lol. Finished my last exam today...too many early mornings and late nights...studying. Either at angus glen or in my basement by myself. These past 3 weeks have been so brutal, just me in front of the computer, typing up notes from different textbooks...man, deep down I hope this all pays off. I'm so ready for this break, just to chill and see people, to relax and such. Christmas and New Years are right around the corner...man I'm excited. All this school, all this work, all this stress...sorry for no post today....I literally got nothing, yeah I could tackle the posts on my phone, but I'm not feeling inspired atm...just super tired, sorry, see ya tomorrow!

That Awkward Moment...

You know what's weird...like the fact that say I meet someone for the first time, they can go on my blog (cuz the link ain't that hard to find) and immediately find out like probably everything about me LOL. Or at least get a real good picture of who I am, while I'm just like hm...who is this person? Same goes for girls lol...say I'm still in the feeling out or getting to know stage with a girl...she could go on my blog and boom...get to know my like deepest darkest secrets and I still wouldn't know anything about her lol. You know what's super awkward though...when I try to tell a person a story or like tell them something that happened to me and they're like oh...didn't you me that? Oh nvm, I read that on your blog LOOOL...like they don't even give me the chance to tell them, they're just like I already know man, I read it on your blog. One thing I know for sure is that like some of my closest friends, never go on my blog LOOOL...and I don't mind...cuz when I chill with them I get to update them about my life personally...I like it that way lol, it's weird like when people ask me...oh so how was this thing or oh how was this person or that person...I'm like huh...they're like I read it on your blog LOL. It's always interesting and funny to me...cuz I still blindly accept the fact that no one goes on my blog, that for the most part, I'm here talking to myself...guess not lol.

To All The Girls I've Loved...

Day 16/31

This is a fun post for me lol...I was inspired when this song came on randomly on my phone and I listened to it and thought hey, this would be a pretty interesting post LOL. Link down below...any ways, before I start, know that the term loved is going to be used very loosely in this post.

The earliest one I can remember is in like grade 3...this asian girl named Janice...that's probably the only name I'll use in this post because no one knows her...heck I can hardly remember what she looks like. All I know is me and this dude who had a birthday the day after mine...were very on and off...we'd be reeeeally good friends one day and like arch rivals the next...we competed real bad for this girl...then there was a third guy in our group who liked her also...he's kinda irrelevant cuz he didn't ever make a move lol. Nonetheless, my boy got the girl...I was sad...and we move on to the next lol.

The one came in like grade 5, let's call her Sydney...this cute asian girl from Australia (that's why I called her Sydney, that's not her real name)...first time ever summing up the courage to ask a girl out and it was to a dance as well. She said yes, pretty sure I've told this story before, next day she's like yo I forgot I said yes to another dude...and my heart sank...and so we move on to the next LOOL...

This one came in my later years of elementary school, let's call her french fries (long story)...this was the quiet, cute asian girl that a lot of the guys had crushes on...the one that I thought I never had a chance with. And I didn't lol...cuz a lot of dudes like her and I forget bits and pieces of the story but I remember we were good friends and she somehow found out I liked her and it got weird from there...but on a brighter note, we're good friends now...and so we move on to the next...

This one was the first girl I laid eyes on in high school, this cute chinese/korean girl...and it was love...or so I thought lol. I never really had a real conversation with this girl...I just thought she was really really cute. Word somehow circulated I liked her...I see her and her friend approaching me and her friend is like this is the guy (cuz she heard some dude named Rodmond liked her I assumed) and the funniest thing ever...the first words I ever said to  her...well I technically yelled at her...I DON'T HER...and I pointed at her too...her friend looked at me like wtf...well that was the end of that lol...and so we move on to the next,,,,

This next one definitely hits the heart real hard...I def consider it one of my first real experiences of heartbreak. Let's call her red...I met her in grade 9 and we hit it off...just someone I genuinely enjoyed having conversation with. Feelings developed...on both sides surprisingly, but simply at the wrong times...someone who was my best friend...ended up being someone I constantly argued and had fights with...I wrote a lot about this girl, she knows it lol...she definitely had a significant impact in my life...this chapter lasted like from grade 9 to 11 if I can recall...nothing but love for this girl right now...and so we move on to the next...

This next one was different...good different, she was special because we always had this weird chemistry. She wasn't like the super popular or pretty girl, but she was cute and I was really attracted to her. This is also the girl I took to prom...nothing ever materialized from that...I think she has a boyfriend now, we don't really keep in touch...the feels...but we were really different, interests, hobbies, everything...and so we move on to the next LOL...

This next one was probably the last one during my high school days...she was a freshman...LOL THOSE WHO KNOW, Y'ALL KNOW. We met kinda randomly, but we hit it off immediately, we clicked in so many ways...from sports, to hobbies, to personalities. I've never spent so much time talking to a girl...like my friends can vouch this was non stop...msn for hours into the night...texting non stop in class. we dated for a bit...but we were at different points of maturity in our lives so it didn't work out. I could insert this girl (let's call her shortie) into like 2 other sections cuz we were really on and off...she still has a special place in my heart and secretly I feel like there is something still there...like the fire never really went out, but with that we move on to the next...

This next one...is hard to put into words...cuz I still feel it deep down in my heart somewhere. She was my best friend...someone who I invested every single part of my world into...I've never been so fully invested in an individual...she was my world. But before we get too sappy and emotional, cuz this is a fun post lol...things happened, people grow up and drift apart...I saw our friendship decay, literally decay...the person I once thought the world of...became a smaller and smaller part of it...to the point where we don't really keep in contact...and that saddens me, but that's life. I'll always feel that same level of comfort with her...but we're going in different paths and growing in different ways, that's life.

This one...is the most recent one (that matters, no offence). This is also the one that has perhaps taught me the most about myself, about the world, about life in general. This was my other best friend...you could say she 'took over' the last one lol. This one was different because of her past and just the connection that we had in general. Long story short, I thought this one the 'the one'...and she knows it, we've been through it lol. Mistiming perhaps, but nothing happened...same with 'Red',we argued and fought a lot, but the different with everyone else is we always got over it...no matter what, something about us would never let drama come between us. I don't think the same way I one did...but she is still my best friend. And so we move on to the next...

This last one...for now at least...that's all I can remember for now...this one was one that I thought really had a chance at something special. It never really blossomed...she had an amazing personality and I saw myself dating her, but we remained friends cuz it simply wasn't what she was looking for.

Well there you have it lol...all the girls I've loved...again I use that term VERY loosely...don't go categorizing me as like a desperate boy or some like manwhore kinda fella...I'm not...trust lol. On that list...there's only like 2, MAYBE 3...real instances where I thought I loved her. Hope there are no hard feelings to the girls mentioned above...if you know who you are...I didn't use your name, I tried not to be too detail specific and air out any dirty laundry...but this is my life too...I'm open about these things, I'm comfortable about these things. Thanks for understanding that, and thanks for reading all the way here...I hope this was as fun to read for you as it was to write for me, peace.

5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Day 15/31

A very special day...because today mark's the FIFTH birthday of this blog...wow. I know I usually make a super big deal of this and do something special for you guys, this year I really got nothing lol. I've been so busy with exams and such...past couple years I haven't had many or any exams so I had lots of time, this year I'm not even done exams yet, got one tomorrow too lol. But wow...5 years...when I think back...I think about just the evolution of this blog. The phrase quality over quantity is right now how I would describe the progress and transition of this blog. In 2011, what I like to call the breakout year of this blog...I posted over 1600 times...that's like 4-5 times A DAY lol. But back then...it was a lot of random things...music videos, funny videos, pictures, hardly any words from myself, barely any real, raw emotions and feelings. As the years passed by, this blog grew and evolved...the things that I posted and talked about changed dramatically, I gave you guys more of me. Come 2013...there was 386 posts...a big difference from the 1600+ posts in 2011, barely getting a post in per day. But over the years...you've seen less random videos, music videos, just random content...more words...more of my thoughts and my feelings and my opinions and perspectives. Present day...you know that I've struggled greatly to put out posts consistently lol...but when I do post...you know every word I say is from the heart...it means something. I say quality over quantity cuz that's what it really has been...from starting this blog, posting anything that caught my attention to really slimming and dumbing it down to purely my own thoughts, my own content, my own feelings. I like where this is blog right now...I could go a whole year without advertising my blog on facebook, twitter, whatever...and I know people will still visit it, not even in a bragging kinda way,but it's like...I know people...some people at least...wanna hear or see what I have to say or what's on my mind, which is cool yet crazy at the same time. The thought used to cross my mind...oh man, I wonder where this blog will take me, what if I become famous...like all it takes is one celebrity to see my blog and share it or tweet it or whatever and boom I'll be famous. I definitely had that thought linger in my mind a lot over the years. But as of late...yeah it is something that I keep in the back of my head, but it's more of a what if...these days....I do this for myself...as a way to express and vent cuz it feels good...to write it out, to let out all your emotions and feelings onto a piece of paper or onto a blank screen. I do this for you...the reader, who's stuck by me through these 5 years and seen be grow...or for you the reader, who pops in occasionally whenever my link pops up on your screen...or for you, the new reader, wondering who I am...and what the heck I'm rambling about lol. I wish I took screenshots of the blog cuz I've changed the layout I think like once or twice...just to see what it was like before cuz I honestly don't remember. When the blog started...it was for fun, a hobby...like a side chick. Now...this blog has become my baby, my ride or die...something I care a great deal about and would be just distraught if it were taken away. At the same time...I know this won't last forever...or who knows...I know there may possibly be a day where I shut this blog down...or where it gets taken away...or where life and personal matters may force me to not do this anymore...I'm not saying I'm preparing myself for that day...I'm saying as much as I love this blog and love doing this...I'm not investing 100% into this because there's a possibility it may not last. But don't get me wrong...for the time that I am here, for the time that I am young...I'm giving you guys 150% of me...even the time that I don't have...cuz you deserve it for sticking with me thus far. This has honestly become such a passion, priority and love in my life...I honestly can't wait to see what the future has in store for me and for this blog...and know for sure, I'm going to take you along the ride with me. Thank you for the memories, thank you for the support...thank you for 5 years of the best you never heard,

Nothing but love,
Rodmond

Blood's Thicker Than Water

Day 14/31

Refer to previous post, sorry for being late, I count this as day 14...kudos if you're up this late reading this atm...

Ever since I was a kid, my dad would ALWAYS say...you and your brother gotta watch out for each other, you're the only brother each of you has, never let anyone disrespect you, your brother or your family. I've always wanted to have a tight knit family...as in like all my aunts and uncles and ish gathering and me being close with my cousins...but that's never happened. As I've gotten older, one thing I promised myself is to always be close and remain connected with my brother. I don't wanna be those siblings who grow up, start a family and not talk to your sibling for years. I've always told myself I want my kids to have what I didn't have, I want them to know their aunts and uncles...to be close with their cousins. My brother is my only brother...his kids are the only cousins my kids will have...and I want them to be close...they don't have to be best friends, but at least friends. I can't even say I'm friends with my cousins cuz I hardly see them. As much as I rag on my brother and get annoyed at him...that's my brother, that's family, that's blood...I would ride...and I would die for my brother. My brother has ALWAYS taken care of my when it counts...getting things for me when I'm sick, massaging my back when I hurt it, and a bunch of little things that I take for granted like getting me a drink from timmies on his way home from work, picking me up stuff from his work that I need...little things. That's my brother man...I can never hate him...we family, you never turn your back on family.

DELAY

Didnt forget...sorry homies, been out all day, church till 12:30, lunch till 3, worship practice till 5, ball practice till 7, light dinner, ball game till 9:30, home shower till 10:30, chilling with church mans now...will get a post out for sure tonight unless I'm dead tired and I'm pretty close...

Your Attitude Determines Your Latitude

Day 13/31

Before I start...if you can take like 5 seconds to answer the poll under the HITS bar to simply let me know if I should keep up with the daily posts or every 2 days...or resume the whole sporadic, here and there posts lol.

Anyways...second post of the day...I could've been like nah...already wrote one for today, let's save it for tomorrow...but y'all are the audience I gotta please and this is a kinda part 2 of the previous post cuz it's very related and I thought of them both at the same time today on the bus after my exam. The title of this post comes from a Kanye West song and it's pretty much saying your attitude, how you feel and perceive yourself determines how "high" (latitude) or simply how happy you are. The previous post was about being yourself...not letting other people's thoughts and opinions change the way you act. This post will be very related to the previous...but it's more about your own personal self worth, self confidence, self image...just yourself in general. I remember thinking about this post specifically on the bus, not the previous one but this one and I got really annoyed and upset just reminiscing about the experiences that inspired this post. Firstly, I told you guys how growing up...I was the kinda dude (or at least I'd like to think) that was nice to everyone. Yeah I had a group that I stuck to more often, but for the most part I felt like I could blend in and fit in with a lot of other groups because my hobbies were very random...from sports to like video games to like poetry, you know. Any ways...I remember in elementary school, I would always chill with these certain group of kids...a lot of them were really cool and popular...I was kinda the other guy, but I fit in...somewhat. They were the kinda kids who would do all the cool things at recess like play red rover, truth or date and all that kinda ish. Don't get me wrong, I like that stuff too, but I told you guys I had a lot of different interests...one them being yu-gi-oh. I knew these group of kids who always played yu-gi-oh during recess either indoors or outdoors they would sit down and play on the floor. I was pretty cool with these kids, they knew I liked yu-gi-oh and we would always talk about it and they would always be like yoooo man bring your deck let's duel...but in my eyes, as much as I liked it and liked talking to them about it...I didn't think my other friends would think it was cool or be accepting of it. Nonetheless, I remember one day, bringing my yu-gi-oh cards to school and I was damn excited, I told the kids and they were like yoo let's duel...so I remember during recess, my other friends were like running around playing tag or some ish and I chilled with the other kids, like 3-4 of them...we sat down on the pavement and we were just playing yu-gi-oh...I remember 2 of my friends from the other group saw me...and they called all the other people over in that group and was like HEY LOOK...Rodmond's playing yu-gi-oh...and made it such a big deal like it was the lamest thing in the world...and I felt bad...I remember not chilling with those guys for quite some time...cuz I didn't wanna look uncool, I avoided talking about yu-gi-oh and ish cuz that wasn't cool with my "friends". And present day...I told you how I got real annoyed and upset thinking about this post...because like these guys and girls were my "friends" but here they are making fun of me because of something that I find fun to do...and worse than that it made my other friends feel like they were losers or something. Like what kinda friends...or what kinda people do these kinds of things. I told you guys I've been on both sides of the fence...I've been the bully but I've also been bullied...so I have a real soft spot for these kinds of things. That's why I made it an effort to be nice or at least respectable to everyone I came in contact with in high school...and it made me happy because I had different groups of friends to talk to about different things that I enjoyed in cases one group wasn't interested in that. Same kinda story but different as well, this time it was with beyblades...I remember having interests in all these little things like I wanted to play beyblades with my friends at recess, I wanted to stay indoors and play board games, I wanted to go on the computers instead of go to school dances (sometimes), but those things aren't considered cool and people will look at you weird and make fun of you and ish. Which gets me back to this being part 2 of the previous post...and about BEING YOURSELF...YOUR ATTITUDE...determines YOUR LATITUDE...act how you wanna act, be who you wanna be...if you like something, but other people think it's weird...who cares. I'm that kid that would rather sit at home with my boys playing board games or video games for hours than go to a house party or the club and pick up chicks and get drunk...I'm the kid who still has his yu-gi-oh cards and would gladly whip it out to play ...all I'm saying is BE YOURSELF. Do what makes YOU happy...don't change yourself, your interests or whatever to please a certain individual or a certain crowd. Don't let them change how you feel about yourself...embrace your awkwardness, your quirkiness, your uniqueness, your differences, it's what makes you you. My whole grade 9 year...everyone would always go out to lunch to eat at the plaza across school and people would like chill and stuff and that was the cool thing to do...no one sat in the cafeteria...I was in the cafeteria every single day for lunch...playing big 2 with my homies...kids that other people would consider weird or nerdy...those were my boys, genuinely nice kids who I laughed and had fun with...other times I would play mah jong with my asian boys and like my other friends would be like yo wtf are you doing. All I'm saying is...do what makes you happy...be yourself...if you like doing sudoku puzzles in your room by yourself...embrace the heck outta that ish. Me...I LOVE wordsearches...to the point where I'm super competitive and will talk ish to you...it's  not the coolest thing in the world...but I like it...I enjoy it...and no one's gonna tell me that it's lame or that it's uncool to the point where I feel shameful doing it in public...like heck outta here with that ish. Be yourself...do what you love...don't let anybody tell you that what you like doing is uncool or that you shouldn't be going it. Your attitude determines your latitude, you gotta have a positive attitude, be happy with who you are and everything about yourself...and what anybody else thinks...is irrelevant.

Be Yourself, Be-You-Ti-Ful!

Day 13/31

Early posts cuz I just finished my exam and I'm feeeeeeelin' good...and inspired.

J. Cole says in one of his songs to be yourself...that's why they call it be-you-ti-ful (beautiful)...

All my life, it's always been what other people think...especially when you enter high school that becomes like the hierarchy...what people think of you = how cool or how popular you are. For a lot or at least most of my life, again I was moreso outside looking in...striving, yeah striving LOL...striving to climb that hierarchy. Oh what does this girl think of me, what does this guy think of me...what does this cool kid think of me, etc, etc. I know a lot of my posts lately have been surrounding girls and relationships, though it is something I've definitely been thinking a lot about, I promise that this is not what the majority of this post is about. It's about being patient of course when it comes to finding the right girl for you...but moreso being yourself. Not changing yourself to get a girl to like you...or to get ANYONE to like you. All my life...as early as elementary school...I've always tried to get people to like me...girls, the cool kids, even random people just so I could have more friends. Sometimes I fit in with the cool kids, but where does that really get you when you don't feel comfortable or you can't be yourself in your own supposed circle of friends. As I've grown up...like one of the previous post talks about...none of this ish matters. It doesn't matter what people think of you, how they view you...and all that nonsense. That's one of the biggest reasons I love being so active on this blog and on twitter...and that's one of the reasons I don't like to censor myself, especially to please people. Cuz it's like...all I can be is me...all I know is me...all I SHOULD be is me...from how I talk, what I say and how I present myself. Whether that results in people liking me, so be it...if not, s'all GUCCI. Whether that results in girls finding my attractive...s'all GUCCI...cuz I know, which goes back to the whole patience thing...that in due time...I will find a girl who can and will accept me for who I am, flaws and all. I think back to high school days or just the days where I would try so hard to get people to like me...from the words I said, how I said them...to how I carried myself as a man. Legit tho...all I can be is me...from what I talk about...how I say it...and how I carry myself...those who do accept me for who I am are the only ones that I really need to be concerning myself with, am I right? Man...I feel like as I've gotten older...I've definitely matured and am able to look back at my life and be like damn...you were dumb...or that was dumb...or why'd you do that...the evolution into a man I guess eh?

Setting The Bar

Day 12/31

Life is already hard enough when it comes to things like starting an essay, asking a girl out or trying to arrange furniture in your house (very random examples I know)...it doesn't get any easier when you have to follow standards/expectations of your friends and you begin comparing yourself and your ideas and your life to theirs. I'm the kinda guy who before I do something likes to ask my friend just to see what he or she would do in that situation, then I'll kinda compare myself or use their example as like the bar that's been raised and I'll always go back to that or I'll take from that and try to add my own flavour...that's not creative at all. I'll give you an example...take for instance like asking a girl out, I'm the kinda guy who would like ask my friend oh well what would you do, what would you say, how would you say it...and all that kinda ish and immediately give myself unnecessary pressure and expectations to live up to. When in reality, I should be setting my own expectations and going by my own flow you know what I'm saying. I mean, it's okay to ask for advice or get an opinion, but when it's to the point where it's always what you do in every single situation...it's like can you even think for yourself...or like can you not act on your own or be creative? That's definitely something I've been working on...to recognize, sure...it's okay to ask for advice or opinions on what my friends would do in certain situations,but not to use their examples as like the standard that I must follow or something you know, legit not sure where I'm going with this...just something I noticed about myself that I like to do, I'm not sure about you. I def have friends who will like talk to numerous friends just to get numerous points of views and numerous expectations that they can follow and kinda take from...they'll take like a bit from each and just add it onto their own...now where's the creativity in that? And...that's also plagiarism too, in life...yes you can plagiarize in life, don't do it homie.

The Only Things That Matter

Day 11/31

A lot of these posts come at spur of the moment times...I still haven't been able to get to the posts that I have on my phone lol, these posts seem more important for right now. You may or may not like the fact that I'm writing posts everyday...but that doesn't matter. You may or may not be a supporter or visitor of this blog...but that doesn't matter. Heck, you may or may not even like me as an individual...but that doesn't matter. Ask yourself...the things that you're worried about right now...will they matter in a year? In 5 years? In 10 years? I challenge you guys to think of the most important things in your life...not your phone or your car...unless they do matter that much, but like deep down what are the most important things in your life...the only real things that matter...realistically, the list shouldn't be long...you should be able to count it on one hand, for most of you at least. But for me...it's simple...my faith, putting God in front of everything and reminding myself of all the blessings I have in my life...my family, my blood, who've seen and known me since birth...and lastly...yep, only 3 things...well maybe you can slip basketball into there LOL...but lastly, my friends...what else, my ride or dies, my support system, the ones who get me through tough times and who I trust my deepest goals, secrets and desires with. This is just something I've been thinking about amidst all the stress and studying...yeah it plays a role in my future and jobs and stuff...but when people place it above certain things in their life and make it like their sole objective to be successful or be wealthy...I admire your passion and dedication, but will it last? Even in the toughest times...the 3 things I listed...the ONLY things that really matter to me...they'll get me through everything...every hurdle, every trial, every test...every triumph and every failure...my God, my family and my friends will not only get me there, but they'll be with me every step of the way encouraging me, ready to lend a hand if I need it. I laugh right now...just thinking about all the times in the past I've stressed over things that I eventually got over...failed courses, stolen items, rejection and just any other sorts of trouble...I got over all of it...none of it matters now, heck I can barely even remember half of my struggles. What are the only things that matter in YOUR life? Check yo'selffffff...

J. Cole - See World

Day 10/31

In the midst of all this studying...I've been listening to 2 things...Sam Smith's album and J.Cole's new album 2014 Forest Hills Drive...so in the midst of all the J. Cole hype atm...thought I'd show you guys one of my favourite songs by him. When people tell me rap music is all about money, cars, clothes, hoes...I direct them to J. Cole...more specifically, I direct them to this song...how J. Cole is my favourite rapper because of how intelligent he is with his words but also how he tells a story through his music...and that's why I love rap music...and it really irks me when people disregard it completely because of the swear words or cuz it sounds ugly. This song speaks volumes...I'll link the article too so you can see what he's talking about.

http://www.wral.com/mother-pleads-guilty-in-shaniya-davis-death/13011614/

Who Am I?

Day 9/31

Here I am...sitting in the library...I already knew what I wanted to talk about today, but just sitting here studying only reinforced it even more. All through high school I felt like it was really hard to fit in cuz I never really found a group that I felt I belonged to. I struggled and even sometimes to this day I still struggle with finding an identity. In high school...I was never the popular kid that's for sure...which is why in my rhymes a lot of the times I'll talk about never being popular but being the guy next door...or how I'm outside looking in at the wolf pack. Any ways tangent lol...in high school, I was never the popular kid, I was never a jock, never a super smart kid, never an artsy kid, never a ladies man, a pothead or a party kid. I never really knew who I was...even to this day, I sometimes still don't know who I am or where I fit in you know, I like to classify myself as the quiet dude at the back doing his own thing, minding his own business. Here I am, studying my life away...bored and stressed as heck...and I think to myself...REALISTICALLY...I'm probably never going to use 90% of the information I've been studying throughout my course in university. I'm never going to be that super book smart kid who graduates in the honour roll with recommendations from the prof and jobs waiting for me when I come out of school. I've come to terms with a lot of things because I'm one of those guys who's cool with a lot of people, so in high school and even to this day I've been able to have friends from many different groups and social circles so I'm able to see the kinda lives they live, the people they hang out with and other things of the sort. I'll never be the tall, charming, good looking guy who just gets girls without trying...that's a fact, in fact I'll never be one of those guys that gets things handed to him...I just don't come off as like that kinda guy you'd wanna hand something to you know. I'll never be that super popular guy that everyone likes and everyone wants to hang out with...in fact I categorise myself as unliked by a lot of people I'm pretty sure lol. I'll never be the jock, the sporty guy who just excels at everything naturally and is like super muscular...but boy did I try lol. I\ll never be that guy who hosts or gets invited to like parties or clubs and just goes ham, drinking or hitting on girls..as fun as a lifestyle as that did seem when I was younger...now, it just isn't my cup of tea. So where does this kinda random expression bring us...lol to be honest I really don't know...who am I if I'm not the good looking guy, the jock, the popular dude, the nerd, the rich dude or whatever. Honestly who knows...I had this post in mind cuz I was just thinking of high school and even now how titles meant so much and how people tried so hard to achieve those titles and statuses...I know I sure did. All I know is I'm weird...I'm the kinda guy who's idea chill night is having a couple friends over, playing board games, poker or video games or something and ordering pizza. That doesn't mean I don't like going out, it means when I look back, the most fun times in my life that I can think of were just chilling with the homies, talking and making jokes. I'm the kinda guy who's idea date night is a night in...sorry girls lol...a night in, just talking...enjoying each other's company, making dinner, watching a movie, taking silly selfies, that's me lol. That doesn't mean I don't like to or won't take you out for a romantic date, but it just means I'd rather get to know you to the point where we can have fun just sitting around doing nothing, that's how comfortable I wanna be with you.I don't even know where I'm going with this any more...but in interesting news, the last post about the girl of my dreams...yeah that blew up more than the one about girls stepping up and taking initiative...it's been seen like 200+ times in the span of like a day and a bit..which is pretty crazy...any ways, till next time...peace.

Girl Of My Dreams

Day 8/31

I remember making a post similar to this, but I can't really find it right now. But any ways...one of my dreams I told you guys that I have every now and then is the one where I wake up with amnesia and am able to like be a diff person, live a diff life, etc. This is another dream I've been having a lot more lately...and it's literally just me...chilling with a girl...presumably my girlfriend or just a reeeeeeeeeeeally close friend lol. I mean like we do everything together...on our loaft days...we spend hours in bed before fully getting up...just watching youtube videos, playing video games, taking silly selfies/ On days we get up, we're do everything together...we wake up early to go to the gym, we come back and cook breakfast together...sometimes we'll go out for lunch. And at night...sometimes we'll stay at home and cook dinner and like cuddle and watching netflix, other nights we'll dress all fancy and go out to eat. When we come back...some nights we'll take walks to the park and back, other nights we'll stay at home and play board games together...I wake up almost always with a smile on my face...but the funny thing is all the while I'm dreaming of this girl and of these situations, I can't see her face, I don't know what she looks like...as if God is showing me my uncertain future and my uncertain future of dating and relationships. On the very RARE occasion tho...the face does get filled...but it's VERY interchangeable...meaning it's always different, I picture different girls in those situations...not random girls, girls who I think could legitimately fill those roles in my life...but for the most part...Ms. Anonymous remains anonymous.

Changes: That's Just The Way It Is, Things Will Never Be The Same Part 3

Day 7/31

From The Heart: Changes Parts 1 - Nov 2, 2012
http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/11/from-heart-changes.html

From The Heart: Changes Parts 2 - Nov 4, 2012

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/11/from-heart-changes-part-2.html

From The Heart: Changes Parts 3 - Oct 14, 2013

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2013/10/from-heart-changes-part-3.html

Changes: That's Just The Way It Is, Things Will Never Be The Same Part 1 - Dec 16, 2012

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/12/changes-thats-just-way-it-is-things.html

Changes: That's Just The Way It Is, Things Will Never Be The Same Part 2 - Dec 19, 2012

http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2012/12/changes-thats-just-way-it-is-things_6002.html

Before I start, this is the final chapter...the second finale of 2 trilogies as you can see. CHANGE...that has been the topic over the past couple years...things have always been changing...ever since I started university, things were changing...becoming more independent, growing physically, becoming more mature. I met up with a friend tonight and just was able to catch up with each other and swap stories and struggles. I feel like everyone around me including myself...is either in a period of change or has recently changed/transitioned into a new stage of their life. I got friends who are new married, just engaged, friends moving out, thinking about moving out, just graduated, just found jobs, moving away...all things of the sort, you name it. I don't necessarily feel like I'm being left behind, but I feel like my changes are and my life is moving more slowly than others. Most of my friends are like or have been working for quite a while, saving up...thinking about moving out...I have some friends who are just graduated, looking or have already found jobs and are like gonna move away or just settle in. It's def hitting me all at once...cuz everyone's so busy nowadays with life...and the future. In a sense I do have a somewhat feeling of being left behind, but it doesn't bother me too much...it's more so of a dang...it's really happening...this place that I grew up...Markham...my childhood...everyone's leaving, moving on, moving out. My friend and I just started talking about like Christmas and New Years...I always look forward to this time of the year cuz we always have so many gatherings just chilling, cooking food, going out, having fun...but this year...it feels different...everyone's away and a lot of them aren't coming back...a lot of people are just busy with their own lives, their own group of friends...and it's disheartening I gotta say as I'm a home town kinda kid...Markham is my roots...I dunno tho...just talking to my friend, how her life is moving so fast and she has so many things planned out and is constantly thinking like 5 steps ahead...change is definitely the topic as of late. This is definitely the time of our lives where we're really figuring things out I guess...borderline done or are already done school...time to start entering and figuring out the real world...and so far it looks hella scary from my view.

Catfished

Day 6/31

Urban dictionary defines being catfished as falling for a person online who pretty much isn't who they say they are. This is a pretty recent term, but this story is from a long time ago, before catfished was even a term. So this happened in like grade 9 or 10...to be honest I don't even remember how I met this girl. But her name was Lauren Cutler and she had like a purse as her profile picture, but she had one picture and it was like of a cute blonde girl. This was before Facebook was complicated and ish so seeing someone with a very simple profile picture and profile was very common. Anyways long story short we talked for a looooong period of time, this was before Facebook message became popular and people posted on walls back and forth to talk to each other, so it would like clutter people's feeds and stuff. Anyways we talked for a while, flirting back and forth and I remember this one time this one girl named Mina tagged her in a picture and it was of this chubby red head girl and I was like wtf, but it was gone in like 10 minutes so I just brushed it off. I remember my homie, shoutouts to you who was with me through this whole situation kept warning me and telling me to be careful lol that this girl was no good. Anyways so one day this Mina girl sends me a Facebook message saying how this Lauren girl isn't who she says she is and that she's some chubby white girl and she does this to a lot of guys and she like showed me more pictures of her and it was the same chubby red head pic that she got tagged in a long whole ago that I brushed off and didn't think nothing of. So I remember confronting her about it and I can hadly remember what happened but nonetheless we don't talk anymore and I ended up getting to know that Mina girl and we're still cool to this day lol. At that moment it was a pretty eh deal...now it's like a wtf lol that's some next level ish kinda deal HAHAHA, oh well live and learn right, this was when I was young and stupid. Go ahead, laugh away -_-

To All The Men, Fellas, Dudes, Brothers...

Day 5/31, pretty proud of myself for keeping up with it this far...

So before I start...know the previous post...directed at the ladies, BLEW UP yesterday LOOOL...it's been viewed like 120+ times in one day...dang lol. Any ways this is the somewhat opposite side of the spectrum. I had a conversation yesterday with a very good friend which sparked this up...it's not gonna be exactly about the same things I talked about in the previous post. This is...an encouragement...from me...to all my fellow brothers. My friend and I yesterday had a real long conversation from like 1 to 3 am I swear...and it basically centered around relationships and one question that kept lingering in my head was will I ever find a girl that's right for me? This friend and I are very similar and we think alike...but he's not a christian, but I love talking to him and I consider him a real good friend. We just talked about relationships...feeling like will we ever find the one you know? I told him how I have friends who I'm pretty close with...who are and will admit to being complete jerks...they will outright tell girls not to go out with them, that they won't treat them right and that they're bad with relationships...yet somehow they still get the girl. My friend and I just started talking how girls are weird lol...how it's like they gotta go through trial and error to realize okay, maybe I don't like the bad boy, or the jerk, or the rebel...I told him that deep down, I feel some or most girls genuinely want a nice guy...someone who'll be cheesy, who'll spoil them and do the little things. That as cool and popular and good looking as the jerk is...in the end, the good guy will get what's due to him. I told my friend it's gonna take a lot of patience and a lot of discernment...being able to tell which ones are worth the effort. Not being picky, but not sitting by and waiting for a girl to come to you. It;s about actively pursuing girls...but picking and choosing your moments. My friend and I shared many sentiments...sharing our struggles with each other and what's been on our hearts in terms of girls and relationships...as much as we've been dwelling on the whole will we ever find the right girls for us...one thing I told him and that I really believe with all my heart is that we both will find the right girls...because we deserve it and I 100% believe that with everything. So this is my encouragement to you my fellow brothers, my fellow men...single or in a relationship...because I know people in relationships who aren't necessarily happy...be patient...there is a girl out there for you. Whether you're struggling to ask a girl out or going out with many girls wondering why and what the point is and you're feeling an emptiness...know that there is a girl out there for you. But mainly for you...my brothers...who share the same sentiments as my friend and I...you've been patient...it's eating at you...you get real antsy at times...jealous even of the things and that happiness of the people around you...this is my encouragement for you...to keep your head up...to most importantly be yourself, to not change yourself to get some girl to like you or go out with you, it's not worth it. For all my fellow shy and nervous dudes out there, I'm with you...I don't got no game myself lol...I go with the flow...I'm here for you...I'm praying for you and I believe in you. It's hard man...it's gonna take time...but she's out there...I promise. The reason I'm so positive and I'm so hopeful is because I know for a FACT that there is a girl out there for me...whether I have already met her or have yet to meet her...I know God has placed a girl that will compliment me and love me for who I am, flaws and all...so I hope my positivity and my hopefulness can serve as encouragement for you guys feeling similar to me. Keep your head up brothers.

Where My Ladies At?

Just made it lol...day 4/31

Before I start, know that I am a big believer being chivalrous and being a gentleman...doing things like holding doors open, cooking for your girl, asking her out and initiating a lot of things. But where are all my strong, bold and confident women at? Like the girls who aren't afraid to make the first move and ask the guy out to chill...not even on a date...or I'll dumb it down for you...even sending the first text. Where my independent women at? I know the guy has more responsibilities in the relationship and should initiate and carry more weight...but where my strong, beautiful, confident women at? I swear girls are afraid to look eager or desperate...or they just don't wanna show that they're interested and lose that leverage...or I dunno...that's just one man's opinion. I play ball on Thursdays...so today...and there's this one girl who always comes to play with us...one girl and like 13-14 guys...but she's not afraid to be physical and like push you around and stuff...and I def admire that lol. I dunno...this feels like a public service announcement...trying to find where my confident and bold women are? I understand it's the dude's responsibility to do a lot of things...but that doesn't mean he should be asking you out every single date, sending every single text message...all that ish...like show us that you care and are active in this relationship just as much as we are you know? Girls always talk about oh I wish my boyfriend would like surprise me with flowers or a spontaneous date or something...like at the same time have you ever thought of doing something like that for him? Sorry for this kinda rant...I feel like a lot of girls nowadays...or at least the girls I see that are around me are very passive...c'mon now...you can't expect so much out of a guy without willing to take some initiative of your own, am I right? Or is this totally out in left field right now?

Prayer Journal: Day 17

Haha y'all thought I forgot eh...Day 3/31, this is mainly for myself...and my struggles and those who I've been thinking about...

Args: Forever and always the homie...I consider you one of my first true best friends...someone who I looked up to but genuinely just enjoyed being with. People often mistakes your kindness and humour as being rude but I saw through that cuz I knew the real you, I wish you well my friend.

Gyli; We always have spurts in time where we're able to hang out and talk each other a lot. I really view you as a good friend and I'm thankful that you see me in the kind of light that you do. I really do see goodness in you and my prayer is that you embrace that to the fullest.

Molm: Only God knows what's really going through your heart. I pray for strength for you and your family. That you'll one day be bold and strong enough to express and declare your faith.  I know you have a real good heart and I'm glad to be part of your journey of growth.

Cssm: I'm sorry...to you, for being a bad friend, for not being there when you were struggling. Man I hope you're doing well, I know God has amazing plans for you cuz you have probably the kindest soul that I have ever met.

Jnlg: You have a real good head on your shoulder and I hope that you will surround yourself with people who will encourage you and guide you in the right direction.

Jele: I pray for you...who I see sometimes see in a very similar situation as myself. I pray that you will trust that God has something and someone special planned for you.

Nnwg: I'm happy for you, that you're still here first of all. And that you've made the strides that you have, I'm very encouraged to see take this leap of faith, stay strong brother.

Boom! Headshot.

Phew, glad I made it before 12...still day 2/31, second post of the day wha whaaaat? Before I tell this story, lemme inform you guys that I wasn't the nicest kid growing up lol...some would say I was a bully...but I've played both sides, which I'm sure I'll end up sharing one day if I remember any significant stories...any ways, here we go...

So I had this one friend who was really cool, she was my age...this is like in grade 5 or 6 keep in mind. She had 2 younger siblings...one brother who was like 3 years younger and a sister who was like 5 years younger? Any ways, her sister was maaaaad annoying...so one day on the school bus home...I'm sitting with my friend who's eating a salad and her sister is sitting in front of her, she keeps popping her head up and just being annoying...I can't remember exact details of what she was doing...all I know was it was super annoying and I had a super short fuse back then...I remember taking some of the croutons from my friend's salad and eating it...and the next time my friend's sister popped her head up...I threw a crouton at her face and it like hit her in on the cheek or forehead or something...def not the eye (that'll come into play later), THIS GIRL starts crying sooooooo bad like screaming and ish LOOOOL...my friend is like freaking out and getting all mad at me LOL...her sister's like I'm gonna tell my dad and ish and I'm just okay haha whatever cuz I'm a tough guy right? Home time...like 5 pm, sun is just about to set and I see a shadowy figure walk to my doorstep with a child...HOMIE starts banging on the door and yelling and ish...he had a major accent cuz he was like from the south...he;s like HEY OPEN UP THE DOOR...you hit my daughter in the EYE with a crouton and you could've blinded her...homie keeps banging and yelling on the door...I'm the only one home...so I'm like half panicking and half like whatever....panicking not cuz of the dude...but panicking cuz I didn't want my rents to find out LOL. So he leaves eventually...time comes like 7 pm...we're eating dinner...doorbell rings...hmm, who could it be...my dad goes to answer it and low and behold it's my friend's dad LOOOOL but just by himself...and he looks more calm. Him and my dad are talking at the door and I'm like trying to creep to see and my dad calls me over and asks what I did and makes me apologize and ish and the dad, who I thought was gonna like flip and tackle me LOOL was pretty calm an gentle he's just like that was wrong and could've been very dangerous and ish...then left. Surprisingly...since me and his daughter were very close friends...him and I were really cool cuz I saw him pretty often after that lol...and I even reconciled with her sister...lol

Finding Good Within The Bad

Saaaaay what early post? Yeah buddy...Day 2/31, legit when I was sleeping yesterday like a bunch of random posts came to mind, so we'll see how I feel later lol might be heading to the library, anyways...

So I'd like to think I'm not really a negative person...I'm pretty positive. I've had friends tell me I'm a really on the fence kinda guy, where I don't like to pick sides...and it's true I don't, I like to see both sides and understand both sides cuz there are always 2 sides to a story. On the other hand, I've had friends tell me I'm really positive...in the sense that I like to pick out the positive things in negative situations, which is true also because what's the point of dwelling in more negative when your situation is already bad. But yeah...I really don't like the people who have to find the negative things in positive things...like what's the point of THAT...why can't you just enjoy the good? That's like those children who get B's and their parents are like well why couldn't you get A's...I'm blessed to have parents who simply ask me to work hard do my best. But it's like if Kobe scores 81...they'll be like well he didn't pass the ball to his team mates. Or maybe that's too random of a reference lol. I dunno, you know what I'm saying right...like you get something or you do something well...but you have to nitpick at it and find any ounce of bad. I try to be opposite...I try to find the good within the bad because it makes people feel better...and there's no point dwelling in the bad. I like being on the fence not to piss people off and not cuz I don't like taking sides...but I seeing, hearing and understanding both points of views...the worst is like when 2 friends argue and they want me to pick sides...and get mad at me when I try to explain to them the other point of view they may not be seeing...I guess you can call me a peacemaker in a sense lol...

Spreading The Holiday Spirit

I was hoping to get this up before 12...but any ways...December is always a very special but busy month. Stressful cuz it's finals and school is busy and ish...special because there's SO much going on...one being the blog's anniversary.So since I know I've been so slacks these past few months on posts...I thought it would be cool and a good motivator for me to challenge myself...to do AT LEAST one post every single day...yep that's right...you guys are gonna see (or read) a whole of more of me...some of you may like and some of you may hate that LOL...like the ones who's facebook feeds I clog LOOOL...any ways...that's just a challenge for myself...but also a semi gift to you guys...for sticking by me...always.

The Climb

It may be pretty cliché, but I'm reminded every single day, through every single failure...that loss, failure, rejection, mistakes, set backs and anything of the sort...is all part of life. It helps you grow, it motivates you and it makes you stronger. I feel bad for people who dwell on that ish or can't get over like a bad break out or a failed test or course or being fired or whatever you know. All that ish is part of life...to help you grow as an individual. It reminds me of the quote from Rocky...that it's not about how hard you can hit, but it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. Cuz life is gonna throw you curveballs, sliders, knuckleballs, anything but fast balls right down the middle...cuz that's be too easy...it's through struggle, trial, hardships, pain...that we learn, that we grow and that we become better. This can apply to anything...when you're working out, embrace that struggle...when you're playing ball...you're gonna lose, you're gonna turn the ball over, you're gonna make mistakes, but that's okay. Similarly in your christian life and walk with God...yiu're gonna stumble...you're gonna sin...you're gonna make mistakes...but God forgives you every single time with the intention you'll learn from it. This is definitely the mentality I've been adopting as of late...that life is a climb...but the view will be great.

I Wish That I Could Wake Up With Amnesia

Don't ask about the title lol, heard that from some song on the radio and thought it was very applicable to this post. So every now and then I have this one recurring dream where something traumatic happens in my life and I injure my head really badly. Whether that's like me falling down stairs and hitting my head or like getting punched in the back of the head or something...pretty much I'm in the hospital and I wake up with no memory of anything or anyone but my family. So legit I don't know who I am, I am as in like my likes, my dislikes, what I do for fun, my hobbies, things like that. I don't know who my friends are, who my enemies are, all things of the sort. Whenever I have this dream it gets me thinking what life would be like lol...cuz it's essentially a fresh start. How would people treat me...who would my friends be...what kind of person would I be? All these questions go through my head and it's funny cuz I feel like whenever I dream this dream...I live a different life...I have different friends, different hobbies or interests and I myself am a different kind of person. It's just interesting seeing...or at least dreaming or what my life would be like if I say wasn't into sports and was into books or something...or didn't chill with the group of people I do now and chill with a different kind of group you know, definitely makes for some interesting mornings when I'm trying to remember my dreams lol.

A Toast To The Fallen...

Just lying in bed...thinking about life and a lot of friendships in my life that have come and gone. Like people I was close with, people in my tight knit circle...who now aren't even in my general circle of friends, it's sad and it stings a bit. Went to my friends bday party on Saturday, known this dude since grade 4...just being able to see him and all the boys I've known since elementary and high school, dang. Makes me reminisce right now about the people I was once close to but am not anymore. There are a few standout people who I literally trusted my world with...nothing in particular happened...life just took us on different paths...and it sucks, but that's how life is...people come and people go, but I'm blessed to have continued the relationships I still have, developed on relationships or made new relationships. So here's a toast...to all my homies who I once called brothers and sisters...you'll always have a place in my heart.

The B In BRB

LOL sorry guys...know I've been slacks...Tuesday was the last post...legit where has the time gone...lots to catch you up on...been a long day today, legit in church all day for the most part. Not much up with me but school, church and friends...life has been slow...but school feels like it's moving fast...it's almost December...meaning...5 years of the best you never heard...it means christmas break, christmas, new years...always one of the busiest times of the year, but I'll def do my best to keep you updated, till next time,sooner than later, peace.

Count To 3

I have a post titled the same thing, feel free to search it up and read what it's about. Pretty much today I did something I've been thinking and talking to my friend  about a lot and though it didn't go as planned I'm still happy I did it. I prolonged it for a couple of weeks to the point where I didn't think I'd do it. Today it was right in front of me once again but I almost let it slip away...I thought in my head about that post and the whole counting to 3 thing and I told myself to man the eff up Rodmond...I counted to 3 and did it. I'm really proud of myself cuz it's a whole confidence thing and I think I've come a really long way from the person that I was in high school...

Early Experiences of Heartbreak

I never knew you could experience heartbreak from something that wasn't a girl lol. I'll always consider elementary school grade 7 and 8 some of the best years and highlights of my life. I met one of the greatest teachers of my life...someone who today I can call my friend and a role model. Any ways...so grade 7 and 8...our sr volleyball team was a tight knit group of guys...we would always go for sushi dinners and ish...stay super late at practice, like 6-7pm LOL...like it was dark when we all were walking home. I remember one year I was a serve specialist so I always subbed on for the captain of the team cuz he had serving problems, so we would always sub for one another. Any ways I remember the end of the year tournament...the areas, if you won you would go to regionals. We were in the final 4 facing William Berczy PS....it was the final set, 1-1 apiece and it 23-22 for them. Our setter got called for a VERRRRRY suspect call that he touched the net when he said he didn't and everyone watching said he didn't...our coach was ready to flip...but we lost the point...24-22 them, match point for them. We got the point back and it was 24-23...our serve...captain's up, so coach subs me in, my serves were nice...low, like bullets, but I also had confident issues when it came to pressure situations...so I was nervous as heck. Bounce 3 times...spin the ball, serve...it goes over, I breathe a sigh of relief and get into position...WHISTLE BLOWS...ref says redo...that I served before he blew the whistle...one more and it would be a violation and point for them...here I am panicking and heart POUNDING. Bounce the ball 3 times...spin the ball, serve...it goes over to the back middle...guy doesn't touch it...WHISTLE BLOWS...OUT...we lose 25-23. I literally dropped to my knees...it discouragement and depression...I couldn't belief if...it was like everything that we worked for all year, all those practices, net jumps, running up and down the stairs...making it to the final 4...went down the drain cuz I overserved...my heart sunk. Immediately my captain and the floor captain on our team picked me up and comforted me and we shook hands with the other team. We all went into the stairwell of that school...some random high school...we were all silent...sad...discouraged...so close...our coach came in...and gave us a talk...how we started off and we were bad....but we worked out butts off to make it as far as we did...we were more than a team...we were family...we did things no ordinary team would do together and with their coach...it was fun...obviously none of us could really take in the words being said atm cuz we were all dwelling on the loss. Man, now that I think back to that...I get sad LOL....if we did make it to finals we would've lost no doubt...Parkview killled their opponent with ease and made it to the finals and killed William Berczy 3-0...they had a BUNCH of guys who all played club volleyball...who I'm cool with now and they all eventually went to Bill Crothers the sports school...but man...those feels lol

Fullness of Time

Not too sure where this post is headed or what the point is really lol. I was just sitting around I forgot where...and I was like man...time is so versatile. 20 minutes can feel like a snap of a finger...but it can also feel like an eternity. 20 minutes in the morning when you snooze your alarm goes by within what it feels like 5 minutes...but 20 minutes until class ends feels like time is moving as slow as a snail. Lately I've been concerned with time...and the feeling of wasting time and not wanting to you know...I really want to make the most of my time, now and the future...I don't wanna feel like I'm wasting time cuz I've felt that plenty in my life...time is a pretty interesting concept. The fact that it can feel like it's going by super fast when you're having so much fun...but can also feel like it's taking forever to get something you dread doing over with.

As Promised, For Your Viewing Pleasure...

Lately...

Lately I've been asking for a sign from God...God...I don't need to see the future, I don't need to see that I'm on the right path...but show me...show me God that everything will be okay. And literally these past few weeks...and like most of the bible studies I've been doing lately and have surrounding one key theme...God's plan and faith and trusting in Him. Today's sermon was about making space for God, realizing that He's always pursuing you...one thing the speaker said was to listen to God...to be still...and listen...really earnestly stop and listen to God, to hear what he's trying to say. I'm working on my essay due on Tuesday right now and I took some time to stop...and listen...really be still to God's word...and it hit me...everything that I've been learning about lately...has been God's plan...how God ALWAYS comes through. Stories of how people were struggling, scared or confused...but after a period of time...God provided...and they looked back and was like wow...I can't believe I was in doubt. That gives me so much strength and so much encouragement and I know that it is all from God. God you are so good...in times of desperation, weakness and fear...you give me strength...you give me comfort, God you are good. Everyday is still a learning process...and as fast as life seems to be moving sometimes...I need to stop and slow down...be still...and LISTEN to you, to your voice and your words...cuz you are good, and you are faithful...thank you God.

Unchanging

In bed right now...praying about a lot of things. The future, how scared I am for a lot of things...and the change that is yet to come and is also already happening. Friends moving on to different stages in their lives, becoming more and more busy. Me too, thinking about life after school and such. The more I thought about that...the more I thought about God and how He is the one thing that is and that always has been in my life that stayed the same. And God I am so grateful that amidst all this change about to come, amidst all the known. That you are always there, that you always stay the same and you never change, God you are so good...when I am not, you are so faithful when I am not...God you are amazing and worth of all my praise. I know you have great plans in store for me...and everyday is a continual lesson and process of change for me to offer up everything that I have to the one who have his everything for me.

Toys, Toys, Little Boys

I know it's been a while, sorry. Today was a long day...didn't work last week cuz it was exams and stuff and I hurt my back and could hardly walk...not working this week either cuz my manager was like just rest...got someone to fill in for you anyways. So today, chilled with my bro cuz he wanted to go shopping for the longest time...so went to vaughan mills at like 12...shopped around, got a dress shirt and these nice shoes, nike sb's for like $60, original 140. My bro got a shirt, afterwards, went to a diff mall and walked around some more, got some booster juice and got home around 6 ish. Anyways...so today at vmills we passed by this store called Toys, Toys, Toys and it reminded me of a funny story from a while ago  I was at stc I think with a couple friends and we split off guys and girls so it was just me and my friend...we were in the store called Toys, Toys, Toys just looking at board games and action figures and we started to talk about action figures and our old toys as kids. This random dude who was wearing like a rain jacket, a fisherman's hat who looked maaaad creepy...came to us and started talking about toys and action figures and how he had sooo many at his house and in his car and he was like if you guys want you can come and check them out in this van...and I looked at my friend and I was borderline about to laugh...he looked at me and was like sounds cool and I'm like uh no dude...we're busy. We walked away and I was like uh dude you know what that was...he's like nah, I'm like uh dude, I think we were on the verge of getting kidnapped LOL. Like this dude was in the toys store...not buying anything cuz I booked him just walking around looking at things...people...LOOL man it was a crazy funny yet scary experience cuz when I told him...he started freaking out like WHAT LOOOOL.

EXCLUUUUUUUUUSIVE

This isn't the video I was promising you, but it's something even MORE special and exclusive. In high school, some kids started a group called A.R.T, forgot what it even stands for...but they did creative announcements for peoples birthdays...here's mine...special shoutouts to my homie who made it for me and the dude who put it all together cuz they knew I liked J. Cole...

Loaft Week

Aka reading week lol...had my midterm on Tuesday, my back was killing me...literally didn't wanna go to school...wanted to somehow get a doc note and write a make up cuz I could hardly walk no joke. I was walking down the stairs at home and my back gave out and I almost fell down the stairs, luckily I grabbed onto the railing. But it's been getting better for sure...Monday was probs the worst cuz I couldn't walk without holding onto something. It's been getting better...hopefully will get better before my basketball game on Sunday. Anyways...York used to have full week reading weeks...like my first and second year we actually got a week off...now they call it co-curricular week and it's only a few days...like reading week starts on a Thursday...and you're back to school Monday...like wtf is that lol...luckily I only have class Tuesday Thursday anyways, so I get somewhat of a reading week. But yeah, as usual not much going on...right now aside from my back, just relaxing since I don't have any quizzes or tests for like a week or two. But got an essay due like second week of November so I should probs get started on that lol. Haven't really been motivated to tackle the posts on my phone...my heart isn't into it lol but I promise I will get all of them done...sooner than later...guaranteed before the end of the year...most likely before then. On an exclusive note...I have something special for you guys...something I recorded like 2-3 weeks ago for fun cuz I felt motivated...hope you guys like it, will try to post it tomorrow cuz at first I wanted to redo it and make everything perfect but then I was like whatever...this is just for fun, on the spot kinda thing...who cares lol...

Life As Of Late...

Literally me...all the time whenever I meet people, no lie...

Worth The Wait

I'm not even gonna get into the apologies and ish lol...straight up I've been busy and kinda lost track of time...of life for a while. Been literally a lot to figure out in my life as of late...school, graduation, teacher's college, church stuff, everything lol. My life hasn't been much lately...school, work, basketball pretty much...my parents came home from Montreal on Tuesday so it's been nice having home cooked meals again lol. My back has been aching as of late...it may be because I'm flat footed and that puts pressure on my back or something...or it may be something else, something more severe...hopefully not...most people are telling me it's most likely because I'm flat footed and just always being on my feet without proper insoles is bad. What else has been up...basketball has just consumed my life as of late...any chance I get I wanna play lol, just a hunger to get better forreal. Literally still fighting with my pride and everything to let go and just give God everything...all my plans, all my struggles...everything...that He has something so much more amazing in store for me, I just can't see it now. So life has been pretty slow as of late...school's been pretty slow...October's about to end...but it feels like I've been in school longer than 2 months...tho I'm only in school 2 days a week lol...I also told y''all about how the golden plan may be scrapped and a plan B might be in effect...but looks like the golden plan still may be in reach...but I dunno how I feel about that cuz now I had my heart set on plan B lol. Literally I feel like crap right now cuz my back is killing me...literally the only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm lying down...I can't even bend to touch my toes...I had it before and it went away with some rest...but obv if it comes back, I wanna get it checked and fixed. But yeah man...other than that...it's just studying...quiz after quiz, midterm after midterm, notes on notes...pray for me man...that this all works out...grinding in school...studying hard...everything...pray for faith...and strength to endure this/

Sam Smith - Make It To Me

Sorry For The Wait...

Just so you guys don't think I was bs'ing you about having a bunch of posts lined up on my phone...obv this isn't the actual list on my phone cuz on the actual notes I use actual names and such to remind me...this is just a copy for you guys which I made during work...but these are real posts that I have lined up and just quick titles I gave them which I'll most likely go with...but yeah, so stay tuned and be patient with me lol.

Tests After Test After Test

Kinda cheesed right now...spent all day making notes from the textbook to study for my quiz tomorrow...got through a chapter and a half...my computer randomly shut down and word usually has a recovery thing...turned it on and my file was gone...like brah...and I didn't save it throughout the day...so like 6 pages of notes gone...the quiz is on 3 chapters...each chapter is like 20-30 pages...but still like dude...took me a heck of a long time man cuz I was reading and making notes at the same time...so kinda annoyed I'm gonna haveto work overdrive tomorrow cuz my quiz is on Thursday. Quiz sounds suss I know but it's worth a lot....6 quizzes in the course...he takes the top 3 marks and averages them...20% each quiz pretty much. man...it literally feels like after a test or quiz I immediately gotta start studying and reading for another one...literally hating my life right now...trying to balance school...life...work...basketball...church...friends...everything all at once...it's not nice since I know school has such an impact on my future...man this sucks.