This is a fun post for me lol...I was inspired when this song came on randomly on my phone and I listened to it and thought hey, this would be a pretty interesting post LOL. Link down below...any ways, before I start, know that the term loved is going to be used very loosely in this post.
The earliest one I can remember is in like grade 3...this asian girl named Janice...that's probably the only name I'll use in this post because no one knows her...heck I can hardly remember what she looks like. All I know is me and this dude who had a birthday the day after mine...were very on and off...we'd be reeeeally good friends one day and like arch rivals the next...we competed real bad for this girl...then there was a third guy in our group who liked her also...he's kinda irrelevant cuz he didn't ever make a move lol. Nonetheless, my boy got the girl...I was sad...and we move on to the next lol.
The one came in like grade 5, let's call her Sydney...this cute asian girl from Australia (that's why I called her Sydney, that's not her real name)...first time ever summing up the courage to ask a girl out and it was to a dance as well. She said yes, pretty sure I've told this story before, next day she's like yo I forgot I said yes to another dude...and my heart sank...and so we move on to the next LOOL...
This one came in my later years of elementary school, let's call her french fries (long story)...this was the quiet, cute asian girl that a lot of the guys had crushes on...the one that I thought I never had a chance with. And I didn't lol...cuz a lot of dudes like her and I forget bits and pieces of the story but I remember we were good friends and she somehow found out I liked her and it got weird from there...but on a brighter note, we're good friends now...and so we move on to the next...
This one was the first girl I laid eyes on in high school, this cute chinese/korean girl...and it was love...or so I thought lol. I never really had a real conversation with this girl...I just thought she was really really cute. Word somehow circulated I liked her...I see her and her friend approaching me and her friend is like this is the guy (cuz she heard some dude named Rodmond liked her I assumed) and the funniest thing ever...the first words I ever said to her...well I technically yelled at her...I DON'T HER...and I pointed at her too...her friend looked at me like wtf...well that was the end of that lol...and so we move on to the next,,,,
This next one definitely hits the heart real hard...I def consider it one of my first real experiences of heartbreak. Let's call her red...I met her in grade 9 and we hit it off...just someone I genuinely enjoyed having conversation with. Feelings developed...on both sides surprisingly, but simply at the wrong times...someone who was my best friend...ended up being someone I constantly argued and had fights with...I wrote a lot about this girl, she knows it lol...she definitely had a significant impact in my life...this chapter lasted like from grade 9 to 11 if I can recall...nothing but love for this girl right now...and so we move on to the next...
This next one was different...good different, she was special because we always had this weird chemistry. She wasn't like the super popular or pretty girl, but she was cute and I was really attracted to her. This is also the girl I took to prom...nothing ever materialized from that...I think she has a boyfriend now, we don't really keep in touch...the feels...but we were really different, interests, hobbies, everything...and so we move on to the next LOL...
This next one was probably the last one during my high school days...she was a freshman...LOL THOSE WHO KNOW, Y'ALL KNOW. We met kinda randomly, but we hit it off immediately, we clicked in so many ways...from sports, to hobbies, to personalities. I've never spent so much time talking to a girl...like my friends can vouch this was non stop...msn for hours into the night...texting non stop in class. we dated for a bit...but we were at different points of maturity in our lives so it didn't work out. I could insert this girl (let's call her shortie) into like 2 other sections cuz we were really on and off...she still has a special place in my heart and secretly I feel like there is something still there...like the fire never really went out, but with that we move on to the next...
This next one...is hard to put into words...cuz I still feel it deep down in my heart somewhere. She was my best friend...someone who I invested every single part of my world into...I've never been so fully invested in an individual...she was my world. But before we get too sappy and emotional, cuz this is a fun post lol...things happened, people grow up and drift apart...I saw our friendship decay, literally decay...the person I once thought the world of...became a smaller and smaller part of it...to the point where we don't really keep in contact...and that saddens me, but that's life. I'll always feel that same level of comfort with her...but we're going in different paths and growing in different ways, that's life.
This one...is the most recent one (that matters, no offence). This is also the one that has perhaps taught me the most about myself, about the world, about life in general. This was my other best friend...you could say she 'took over' the last one lol. This one was different because of her past and just the connection that we had in general. Long story short, I thought this one the 'the one'...and she knows it, we've been through it lol. Mistiming perhaps, but nothing happened...same with 'Red',we argued and fought a lot, but the different with everyone else is we always got over it...no matter what, something about us would never let drama come between us. I don't think the same way I one did...but she is still my best friend. And so we move on to the next...
This last one...for now at least...that's all I can remember for now...this one was one that I thought really had a chance at something special. It never really blossomed...she had an amazing personality and I saw myself dating her, but we remained friends cuz it simply wasn't what she was looking for.
Well there you have it lol...all the girls I've loved...again I use that term VERY loosely...don't go categorizing me as like a desperate boy or some like manwhore kinda fella...I'm not...trust lol. On that list...there's only like 2, MAYBE 3...real instances where I thought I loved her. Hope there are no hard feelings to the girls mentioned above...if you know who you are...I didn't use your name, I tried not to be too detail specific and air out any dirty laundry...but this is my life too...I'm open about these things, I'm comfortable about these things. Thanks for understanding that, and thanks for reading all the way here...I hope this was as fun to read for you as it was to write for me, peace.
i still love you.
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