Real Talks of the Moment

"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." - Ephesians 4:26

This is my dad's favourite verse, and one of the first verses I memorized on the spot and a verse that I do my best to instil in my life. This past week has just really allowed me to reflect on my actions and attitude as of late...it's really allowed God to break me down and show me my weaknesses and helped me get back on the right track in terms of my faith.

Words of Wisdom

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Luke 6:37

I guess I've just had a lot of trouble...with judging people and being judged by others and definitely forgiving people as well. I don't like repeating myself cuz I've already shared this yesterday at fellowship with my small group, so I'll try to be short. I hold a lot of things in my heart, mainly cuz I don't really like pulling people aside and talking to them about how I feel or something. Unless I'm like really comfortable with them...I'll just hold it in my heart and not say anything and pretend everything is fine, but in my head it's not. But yeah...lately, scripture...and God...have just been speaking to me really heavily...like we were sinners, we were imperfect, impure, lowly and everything that God hates. Yet He loved us so much, He sent his ONE and ONLY Son to bare the wrath, the pain, the sins of man. That's just mind blowing to me...and He tells us, if I can forgive You, how come you can't forgive others? As I was writing this, this story came to my mind, so I'll just share it with you guys, it's called "The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant":

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he has be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. But that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from you heart."

That just really speaks volumes to me...it's like the master is God...he didn't have to forgive us of our sins, but He did. Yet we go ground like the unmerciful servant to our fellow brothers and sisters and we can't seem to forgive them even though they wronged us...when Jesus forgave us, that was just a really good time of reflection for me.

LOL of the Moment

These asian mans go craaaaaaaaazy seeing these asian girls dance..
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LOL of the Moment

A flash mob during a first year engineering exam at UofT

JR Aquino - Down For You

Today...

Hey, what's good, sorry for no posts the past few days...been out most of the time. Thursday, I had school early morning...we watched a movie in my lecture and I fell asleep, then had tutorial, then had break and I chilled with my friend till my last class at 4. Then had small group at 5:30...we just broke the ice, got to know each other and gave our mini ish testimonies. It was supposed to be like an hour ish...but it went way over time, ended at like 7:30 ish. Was supposed to go to the mall with my friend at 6:30, but my thing ended too late lol. So yeah, missed the bus at 8, went to get food...caught the 8:30 bus...mom picked me up and headed home, then loafted into the night playing 2k.

Friday...was a long day...didn't have school, woke up early to go get my license, health card and social insurance card since I lost my wallet. Luckily it was only 2 places and they were both close my to each other and around my house. Went to go to do my license and health card first...the line was long, but it was going my pretty fast. They're actually really strict too...they need legit ID and stuff and all, but yeah...long short, got it fixed, gotta wait like 3-4 weeks before it comes. Then next was social insurance card, forgot birthday certificate, so had to go home and get it...then finished it and stuff...gotta wait like 3-4 weeks for that as well. After, went home and prepared for the program that night, then headed out to meet with some friends to talk and stuff. Then headed to church and lead the program, then went to dinner with the mans. After, went to Sobeys and chilled until 12 cuz it was my friend's birthday haha.

Today...was a loaft day...spent the majority of it catching up on Naruto...reading it, watching the english dubbed, and the subbed...time flies when you're loafting lol. I wanna run ball so bad...

Kirko Bangz - Drank In My Cup feat. J. Cole

From The Heart: Favours

Doing favours for one another is apart of friendship. I'm still learning that I'm sometimes a bad friend and have lots to learn and lots of room to grow. Me and a friend haven't been seeing eye to eye lately until today, when we addressed the tension between us. Pretty much just a dispute and minor thing about doing favours for one another...and I brought up the number of favours I've done for him...as soon as I said that, as soon as it came out of my mouth...I knew it wasn't right, I knew it didn't sound right and I shouldn't have said it. Friendship isn't about the number of favours you do for one another, how big the favours are, or expecting anything in return. It's about doing something to simply help that person out of love and because you care about them without expecting anything in return. It's like if it was Christmas or something...and I really cared about someone...I'm going to go and think of a thoughtful gift for them...but when I give it to them...I'm not going to be like...uh where's my gift? You didn't get me one...well then give it back to me. That's not what friendship is about. Like if my friend forgets money one day and I spot him for lunch...I'm not going to hassle him everyday about that money...in due time...one day when I forget my wallet, he'll spot me and stuff like that. I guess I just got caught up in the moment and brought up how he "owed" me because of the number of favours I've done for him or the number of times I've been there for him...that was wrong and I'm sorry.

From The Heart: Guarding Your Heart

I was doing a devo last night at like 1 am...and everything just hit me like a brick wall...and I just thought I'd share it with you guys...so this is what it said.

Guarding Your Heart

Proverbs 4:23 says to guard your heart "for it determines the course of your life" (NLT). Think about that. Whatever's in your heart is eventually going to show up in your everyday life. Whatever's inside will eventually find its way out. Where anyone and everyone can see it.

That alone makes it extremely important to monitor the things we allow to shape our hearts. I don't want something nasty, sinful, and selfish finding its way out and damaging my relationships with others, and I doubt you do either.

A large part of guarding your heart means learning how to control your thoughts, your words, your disposition and your general outlook. What you think usually comes out in what you say. What you say affects how you feel, and that shows up in your overall attitude.

In the course of everyday life, this is what determines how you handle your circumstances, whether you'll have peace or fall apart in a stressful situation. It governs how your respond to others, either with compassion and understanding or with judgment and arrogance, especially when you disagree with them!

You can try and keep your inner thoughts from altering your words and attitudes, but I find it's much easier to have godly thoughts to begin with. Spend time in God's presence, and let the Holy Spirit fill your heart with His goodness.
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I was reading this last night and just had a time of prayer and meditation by myself...just wow. I had to read it twice to really soak it all in and just yeah...it broke me down...God literally set a brick wall in front of me and I came running fully into it. Before this whole situation unfolded...I told a few people that though, I was struggling and really frustrated and nervous about the whole situation, I treated it as a test of faith...and to agree with what my friend said, I failed. Now, I'm still just getting over it, so I can't apologize just yet cuz I know it won't be sincere and from the heart. Do I feel bad about what I said...yes and no...again not fully over it. Do I forgive him...no...not yet at least. Everything is just happening so fast...people messaging me left and right...some encouraging and kind, some wanting to find him and beat him up like me, some spiritual and supportive...everything is just really messy atm. But I think things are slowly getting better...got my money back and then some...got my debit card back, credit it the mail, got my student card back, scene card in the mail...gotta go get my license, health card and social insurance card which may take longer. But for the most part, I got everything back pretty quick. I dunno...I know I can't take those words back and I wouldn't for that matter, it's a good measure of reflection...of who I was, and who I am now. I think as the days pass and I have more time to recollect my thoughts and emotions...it'll be better. But I just thank God and my friends and family for supporting me, for picking me up when I fell...and I fell hard, real hard...I thank God for never abandoning me...he knew exactly what was going to happen...he knew I'd lose my wallet, he knew I'd be able to get the stuff back, he knew I'd be typing this post right now. I know He forgives if I repent, confess and turn away. This devo just honestly hit me...so hard...it wasn't like God stuck His hand out to pick me up...He honestly just stood over and told me straight up, GET UP! YOU DO NOT AND SHOULD BE WHERE YOU ARE. I related and responded to every single word in that devo...the blue parts are just what hit me hardest...I have regret, but for the most part, I wouldn't take back the majority of what I said...because it's all a lesson learned...and I want to be able to reflect and look back on this...and be like THIS is what I used to be...but because of God's grace, His love, His mercy and His forgiveness...I stand free and forgiven of these burdens and troubles. Thank YOU...for everything, for continuing to change and shape me. For never giving up on me. For continuing to hold on and not let go even though sometimes I slip and fall far from You...You never gave up and You never will give up on me...thank YOU.

From Me To You...

I always find it funny when people think they know what I'm feeling or what I'm going through simply cuz they read my twitter or my blog. That's just real sad imo...the majority of you THINK you know what goes through my head, how my brain operates, how I react to things...but you don't...just cuz you read what I tweet on the daily or read my blog posts don't mean you know me...especially when you don't take the time out to legitimately get to know me in person...c'mon son.

Random Stories

I'm actually feeling so much better right now...the dude input $1000 of his own money onto my student card like I said, only used like $200 and left $800...my friend said to take it out in case he tries to get it back. Couldn't take it out, but I'm glad to hear from the people that there is no way he can get it back, he has my old student card which is pretty much just a card now, can't use it to get any of his money back...serves him right is all I'm saying. I don't know if that's God's justice working or not...or just bad luck for him, eh. But in light of the situation, thought I'd share a funny story with you guys, which some of you may know. Yesterday when I had time to sit down and think, I realized...I'm a really unorganized person, though I genuinely do try to be really organized. Anyways...I've lost A LOT of things in my life...one of the worst is this story right here. So it was winter...this girl's birthday. Me and her both volunteer at this elementary school, we were both in like grade 12. I've known her for a long time and I was really close to her, we both knew a lot about each other. So we chilled pretty often and I guess I was developing feelings for her, but I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd test it out. So the day of her birthday, she's volunteering at the elementary school, I get of school at 2:50, she ends around 3:30, stays till like 4 ish. I went home and I had a gift for her, some stuffed animal and a card. I was going to go to the school and surprise her with it. She knew I was coming, but I told her just to chill and walk her home and visit the teacher I volunteer with. So today was an absolute beast, it wasn't just snowing, it was literally a snow storm. So me, thinking I was cool, wore this nice windbreaker with like a t'shirt underneath, so I was freeeeezing. Wore like jeans and walking shoes too. Imagine how cold I was...anyway, there were 2 front pocked in the windbreaker to put your hands, they were very loose...if you put stuff in there, you'll probably lose it if you like run or jump or something. So...I left the house, gift in hand, putting my lanyard with all my keys (house, room, usb, etc), my ipod and earphones and my phone (some slide phone). It was mad cold, so I took this shortcut to the school...where I cut through the soccer field...one problem, the soccer field was filled with snow and it was really high because of the snowstorm. Took one step...it was like just below my knees...so with my feet already filled with snow, socks all wet...I trucked it through that field...running through it really fast and like a beast. Got to the school, was freezing like crazy. Saw her, gave her the gift...and she kissed me...LOL. So yeah, we had a mini thing, I don't really tell it to that many people, or any people for that matter maybe a few. But yeah...so I leave, truck back through the same field...go home, at the door...realized I lost my keys, ipod and phone...waited for a good 10 minutes, decided to go back to the school, check the field and try to find my stuff...the snow was way too deep, plus new snow had formed on top, it was cold, my gloves weren't working, hands were freezing, did not find my stuff...socks were soaking wet, shoes were donezo...went back home, luckily my mom came home...told her, we drove to the field, to the places I walked, found nothing. Came home...sad...depressed...lost everything. Funny that like 2 years later, when the snow had all melted...one summer day, me and my brother are home, doorbell rings, he answers it, it's our neighbour...gives my brother something and goes I think this is yours. He comes back and...IT WAS MY OLD PHONE..LOOOOL IT WAS IN MY NEIGHBOUR'S LAWN...but with the snow, I couldn't see it lol...never did find my keys or ipod though. Funny, I swear I've lost my keys like 2 or 3 times...and my parents keep saying they're going to change locks, but they never do...no need to imo anyways...so they find keys, there's no address or anything...and no way they're gonna go door to door, street to street trying to find which house it opens lol...man I lose a lot of things.

From The Heart: Appreciation

Now that I've had time to vent, punch stuff, and relax...hot shower, ball, music...things like that...I'm tackling this with a clear...somewhat clear mind. I just wanna say thanks...thanks to everyone who endured this little "saga" with me. From the bunches and bunches of people I messaged and annoyed to help me check the bus and talk to the bus driver...thank you...friends and randoms...I messaged everyone lol, everyone who went to York and took the same bus as me, and they actually helped me out, thanks to you guys...for your effort, your care and your comfort, thank you so much. Thanks for all the encouraging words...at the time at least lol...a bunch of you had told me about how you lost stuff on the GO bus before...phones, textbooks and wallets and y'all had got it back, even though I didn't get it back...it's the thought that count...and it really did cheer me up and up my hopes...so thanks for that, for that little period of easing in my mind. To all the people who prayed for me, and voiced out to me that they did so...both during and after this whole saga...I appreciate it and am so thankful to have people who care that much about me to pray for me, thanks. Now this is towards moreso after this entire saga...moreso today since everything happened today, though it felt like more than that, it only happened in the span of one day. To all the people who sent me tweets, dm'ed me, replied to my tweets...with kind words, encouraging words, tips, hints, comfort...everything...I appreciate it, I really do...it gave me comfort, though temporary...it helped keep me sane, to know that this world is still filled with people who do care and would choose to do the right thing. To all the people who texted me to keep my head up, to stay strong...not to let this get me down, thank you...it really did hit me hard and it means a lot to me as well. To the select few who actually took the time out to call me...and offer me their suggestions, their comfort, their encouragement...the next best thing to talking to people in person is actually talking to people on the phone and just hearing their voice...thank you for the tips and and just the helpful advice and words of encouragement as well. Lastly...thanks to those who tried to calm me down, to bring me back down to reality...I know I ignored, pushed you guys away...but in the mood I was in, it was for the best...cuz I probs would've lashed out at you...and I wouldn't feel right talking to you guys saying oh yeah yeah, that's right true...I'm good, I should let it go, etc...it wouldn't have been sincere. Really lastly now...to the people I offended, disappointed, hit a nerve, insulted...whatever...I'm not too sure if I'm really ready to say sorry cuz I'm not over the whole saga and I don't in my heart of hearts really feel bad or feel the need to apologize...yet at least. Part of me does debate whether I perhaps said too much and crossed the line...but you have to step in my shoes...really try to step in my shoes and understand how I was feeling...when emotion...whether anger, sadness, happiness...just consumes you...you can't control it...you can't control how you feel, what goes on in your head...and everything that happens inside, just wants to get out. So no...I'm not asking for nor am I going to give an apology, yet...as well I'm not going to go out of my way, nor to I expect any of you who took this hard to try to make amends...I'm still in a very iffy mood about this whole thing. But that's not the point of this point...the point is appreciation...and I'm so thankful, blessed and appreciative to have people around me who care about me...who genuinely care about my well being and what happens to me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything...thank you for enduring my little moment of just venting...simply put...thanks for being there.

From Me To You...

This is from me to the GENERAL PUBLIC. A lot of people have been really critical of the words I spoke/typed out on twitter and the blog today. They say it was offensive...rude...crossing the line...too much...unnecessary. Perhaps...or perhaps not. Do you know what empathy is? Have you ever had a bad day? A day where nothing just went your way? Think back to the worst day of your life, what was it life, what did you feel, what did you say, how did you react? If you tell me you've never had a bad day or a day where you felt like punching a wall or somebody...you're lying. I feel like...people are so critical and damn sensitive towards what I said because I said it publicly...like ohhh, you're such a bad person. Tell me something, you've never said or though anything similar to what I said? You may have not said it publicly...but I'm sure you said it before, to yourself, to a friend, you thought it in your head maybe. So what's so different from you and me? I'm worse off because I voiced it out publicly for people to see. I'm not allowed to have a bad day or two where I simply can't control my emotions and they get the best of me? I'm not allowed to say things I'll later on regret? I'm not perfect...mistakes are meant to be made...how can you justify that my mistakes and my words are any worse than yours? By doing that...aren't you judging me? Aren't you saying...well look what he did...now I NEVER did something like that...as bad as that...he's definitely worse off than me...are you really then? I dunno lol...people take things way too seriously, or they take it the wrong way...or they think every little thing or every little jab and joke I make is about them. A lot of people had positive feedback and ideas for me though, they sent me encouraging bible verses, supporting words and ideas like telling the school, the bank and things like this...I just never replied to them yet because in the mood I'm in, I felt it would be inappropriate and insincere. But people catch feelings way to easily and way too often...thinking this and thinking that, saying this and saying that...damn. Like I'm not allowed to have ONE bad day...but every little thing that everyone else doesn't add up or is less bad than me...like c'mon. Get over yourself...damn. I ain't even mad at anybody...I'm just surprised people are so emotionally sensitive and they CATCH FEELINGS so easily...damn...subtweet...cosign...yeah this post is about you, aka no it's not...so relax...damn. This is from me to the freaking general public..subtweet...

To Whom It May Concern...

For those of you who don't know, I lost my wallet on Thursday on the bus...long story short, today...I was checking my student card and I saw that someone had put $1000 on it and has been using it since Friday, which means my wallet is officially stolen. So if you follow me on twitter, I had a pretty clean, edited rant for that particular individual. But here on this blog, I hold nothing back, words cannot describe how I am feeling right now, the emotions I'm going through...anger, hate, pity, hopelessness, depression, anger, hate...all that together...with a whole lot more of anger and hate. I'm pretty sure it's a dude because he spent $13 at a cigar store...probably a fucking celebratory cigar for his new findings...this motherfucker. I had a lot of stuff in there...$600+. student card, license, debit, credit, GO bus ticket, YRT bus tickets, scene card, shoetag, health card, social insurance card, a bunch of stuff...PAUSE....REAL LIFE...my friend just told me that, maybe he put the $1000 in my student card using my credit card...WOOOOW IF THAT'S TRUE...I'M MORE PISSED THAT I ALREADY WAS, WHICH WAS A LOT....this mother fucker...I hope you die...get hit by a bus. I wanna fucking slit your throat, burn your house down and fucking kill your family. I wanna fucking slap your mom for not teaching you better...I wanna just beat you down with my bare hands and feel every moment of pain you endure...you think you're smart you little bitch...it takes a lot to get me angry and cussing like this, I'm usually very under control...but this guy is taking it to a whole new level, as if seeing $600+ in my wallet wasn't enough...he has to go and MAYBE put money onto my student card from my credit card...I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY...I wanna stab you in the eyes...shoot you in the kneecaps...and let you live the rest of your life as a blind cripple. I hope your baby dies...I hope your wife gets raped...I hope you fucking die, burn and rot you sorry excuse for a human being. If I keep going, this post will actually be REALLY LONG...so I will cut it short cuz it will be repetitive, but I hope you die...plain and simple, fuck you...you stupid little boy...go fucking die.

Random Thoughts

It never really occurs to me how "big" this blog or how "out there" this blog is...but it warms my heart when people come up to me and tell me they go on my blog...occasionally, sometimes, often...it's nice to hear you know. 2 of my friends lately told my straight up lol...one was like, you know...your blog is one of those sites I bookmark and check everyday...another friend was like, man I go on your blog everyday and read every post. Now I have no idea if that is true or not...but hey, who am I to doubt them...it's encouraging and supporting to me...it motviates me to keep going. But...I do wanna let you know that my blog...my twitter...does not and will not define me. Just because you follow me on twitter and read my tweets and read my blog posts DOES NOT mean you know me or know about me. People think they can read about you or read what you write and that's it..they know all about you, they use it as a substitute instead of actually trying to get to know you, I hate those kinds of people. But yeah...I don't blog about every single thing or tweet about every single thing that happens to me...maybe MOST, but not all...lol, if you legitimately and sincerely wanna get to know me...you should know by reading my posts that I'm a pretty friendly person lol...

Today...

Hey there, I was feeling a bit better today, more encouraged and hopeful...got lots of encouraging and supporting words about me losing my wallet, just people telling me how they've lost phones, wallets, textbooks on the same bus I took and they got it back...so that's really great to hear, hopefully I can be one of those people as well. Today was an average church day I would say, service, ball, sunday school...went to lunch with a few of my church friends, we went to sushi...it wasn't until we sat down that we realized we had a lot of time and should've went to an all you can eat sushi place LOOOL...but we all set reminders on our phone so next week it's set lol...I honestly love bonding and chill time with my church mans...so fun to be around, lots of jokes and conversations. After worship practise, went home...took a nice shower and nap...went over to a friends house, played some poker...with no chips or money...just for fun with points, I won both games...then we played board games...lol, this is definitely becoming a routine...going to friend's houses and just palying board games.

Daniel Powter - Bad Day

Really fits the mood atm...
'

Hey...

Sorry for no posts yesterday or today...it was just a really bad day yesterday...lost my wallet on the GO bus...realized when I was on the TTC about to pay, paid with coins. Walking home, I was freaking out, calling everybody to help me check, went home, called a bunch more people and texted and messaged people to help me check the GO bus...called GO a bunch of times. Told a bunch of people, friends and also people I don't normally talk to who take the same bus as me to check my seat...and also tell the bus driver to keep a lookout. Called GO lost and found and they said at the end of the day, the drivers take all the items left on the bus and ship it to them...which'll take till at least the earliest is Monday...so I have to wait till Monday to find out if they have it or Tues...or if my wallet is gone. I had a lot of important things in there...$600+, don't ask why...was saving up for something...student card, license, debit card, credit hard, I think my health card and social insurance card but not sure...what else...my scene card for movies, my shoe tag for working out at school...my monthly GO ticket...so I'm kinda screwed if it actually is lost. So I'm in a really pissy and antisocial mood right now...just wanna loaft in my own negativity for a while...I don't know what God has in store for me with this situation, but my friend sent me a verse that really eased my mind..."Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7...also a few of my friends telling me they lost stuff on the bus before including phones and wallets and they got it back, so I'm keeping my hopes up...and praying that God is just testing my faith with this obstacle.

Tyga - I'm Gone feat. Big Sean

Today...

Wednesday's are always my longest days...never slept in class, or the library...almost dozed off in a bunch of my classes. Nothing really special lol, just a bunch of really long classes and lots of note taking. There were 2 blackouts at school today...man my school is so ghetto lol. Chilled with friends for the most part, no ball or working out too lazy and didn't bring my stuff...got lots of good jokes and conversations in haha. Tomorrow is a chill day, one class from 8:30 to 10:30 and 4-5 then small group from 5:30 to whenever...so will probs ball and workout in that big break. Sidenote...been listening to Tyga a lotttt lately...dude is sooooo sick and underrated, damn.

From The Heart: School

I know I joke around about dropping out sometimes...but honestly, if that was a realistic option, I would heavily consider it. School is just so hectic and stressful sometimes. The thing I really hate about school...is that it's all about book smarts, the smartest kids get all the benefits, get the best grades, are liked the best..all that stuff. Now that might now be the case in all situations, you have your outliers...those kids who just work super super hard and get the good grades even though they may not be naturally smart, respect to you guys. Something I really hate are those kids who are naturally smart...I know I can't blame them, but they're just born that way...but it annoys the heck out of me. Now there's 2 kinds of those smart kids...the ones who are smart, but also work their butts of, respect to you guys too....cuz like the quote says "hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard." But then there are those smart kids...who slack, who party, who don't do any work, who don't study...yet still get good grades cramming the night before...I absolutely hate those kids...cuz it reminds me of all the sleepless nights I have trying to study and still not getting it, all the effort I put into an essay just to get a C or B...or all the time I spend studying just to fail. I absolutely hate those kids. But yeah...in a lecture a few days ago...one of my profs said...university does a terrible job of teaching you guys. Cuz in elementary school, you're super sheltered, you're watched at all times, people always know where you are at all times. In high school, same thing...you have somewhat freedom, but for the most part, you're sheltered, if you skip class, they call home, they wanna know where you were and why you weren't in class. At work, if you skip work, they'll call you and ask what's up, why weren't you at work. My prof then said, throughout your whole life...people are there to CARE for you, then in university...no one gives a damn about you. If you come to class or not, who cares...if you do your homework or not, who cares...if you sign up for classes or do this on time or that on time, who cares...if you show up for an exam, who cares. He was saying how that's a terrible system, I get that university there's a lot of kids...but that's still no excuse...workplace only gets bigger, yet people still care for you and care about you, you know. I have so many gripes about school...IN THIS WORLD...people THINK that the smartest people are the bosses, that is so untrue. I'm not talking about ball players or rappers, the common, blue collar worker. The thing I hate about school, is that they make it all about the book smarts. I'm not and never will be a smart kid, a straight A student, someone who studies hard and stuff like that, but I'm also not one to slack and loaft...I'm one to work hard and EARN everything that I have. I really hate how people take book smarts so seriously...people will say oh...if you don't graduate, you're never going to find a good job, you won't be considered successful and you won't earn a good living. That pisses me off...because you couldn't be more wrong. There's so much more to life that just book smarts and honestly that will only get you so far. Yeah if you're going into something that's purely book smarts like an accountant, then go for it. But for the most part, in this world...it's ruled by street smarts, by how you talk to, socialize and communicate with people...who you know...how you present yourself...are you likable. Things like that...it really scares me to think that I might...or anyone for that matter...can spend 4 years or even like 7 years in school...yet come out and get a job that has NOTHING to do with what you studied for...like wtf...why did I go to school for 7 years only to get a job that has absolutely nothing to do with that...what a waste of freaking time. That's why I really hate school sometimes, the fact that we work so hard, stress so much...for what...for the fact that once we graduate, we might get a job that has nothing to do with anything that we went to school for. If I had to choose, I'd pick street smarts, it's about who you know, more than what you know. You have to be able to communicate and talk with people, stuff like that. I dunno...this just came out...cuz I was doing an assignment and I didn't get it...and I was getting pretty stressed. It's just that, I know and have seen so many people survive on street smarts alone, and not to sound cocky, but I've been through enough and a lot to be pretty confident with my own street smarts. I've also seen a lot of people graduate school and go into something completely different from what they studied. That's why I hate school so much...but people make such a big deal about it...about the diploma...some stupid piece of paper most of you will probably end up losing or throwing it into your attic with a bunch of other things you barely check. I dunno man...school's a trip...damn...I don't even know what else to say.

Random Thoughts

 I just need to vent a bit before I go to bed...girls are weird. I was thinking about you...then literally moments later, you message me. I honestly really do love the conversations we have...but I don't get you a lot of the times...you're on, then you're off...you like me, then you have a boyfriend randomly. You tell me that I'm not ready....but you're willing to wait. I don't get you...like sometimes, I'll admit I do have those feelings...and those thoughts of us...but I dunno...something stops me from acting on it. I really don't get you...what's your angle, what kinda game are you playing. I'm just def not up for this...not up for involving myself with all this stress and unnecessary ish. We'll see what happens I guess...man, girls are whack.

From The Heart: LOVE

Throooowback....written on December 12, 2009...3:29 am

It's 3 AM, I'm putting everything on my brain aside to do this cuz I feel like people don't understand and appreciate what this short and simple word is until it's out of your sights. I'm gonna mainly talk about this from a guy's point of view because I just need to get some things out there. I can't rhyme right now cuz I'm going through a lot, but love makes you feel like you're on top of the world. Like you've got the palm of the world in your hands and you own everything. It's the greatest feeling ever, looking your loved one in the eyes, seeing them smile and just holding them in your arms. Their laugh, their voice, their touch, makes you feel tingly all over. Love makes you wanna cry, it makes you wanna die, it makes you wanna scream at the top of your lungs and pull your hair out. Love gets on your nerves and you just wanna punch a wall, you wanna call up some people and just yell at them for no apparent reason. I"m no good at expressing my feelings to the ladies, I keep things bottled up inside me and express them this way. I'm shy, I'm soft, I'm whatever you wanna call me. I hate when people say they understand what love means cuz they don't, it's much more complicated then their simple minded thoughts can comprehend. Love, a simple 4 letter word, can make you feel amazing even after you've say, failed a test, a course, hgihschool. Knowing that you have someone to hold onto, depend on, love, care for, kiss, makes you forget about all the failures in life. Love is painful, so get ready for the bruises, it'll cut you down and tear you apart then kick you when you're down. Love is ruthless and has no mercy or remorse for life, it'll hurt the innocent and the poor at the same time. Then again, love is gentle, it's patient, it's waiting for the girl of your dreams for a year and her finally noticing you to say hi. Love is distant, love is seeing your girlfriend once a week or every 2 weeks but making that one day ever so special with enough love and memories to last a month. Love is a mind game and I'm not really good at it, it's about getting inside her head and reading her mind, reading her thoughts, reading her next moves so you can surprise her with a better move and will just make her so happy. Love is passionate, when you're down because your life sucks and you have nothing to live for, she walks into the room and says she loves you, you hold onto her and vow never to let her go or let any harm come to her. Love is forgiving and forgetting, love is able to forget the mistakes and forget the wrongs and forgive them all. Love is kind, love will grant you your deepest darkest wishes and secrets. Love is harmful, it will break a man down into pieces and step on the pieces even when he's broken. Love is relentless and resilient, it'll keep on coming and it's always there no matter where you hide or how you hide and where you go and what you say. Love will find you and you will find love. Love is the best feeling you can ever experience in your life, when you swear you've found that girl that you just wanna hold on to and never let go. When you've found that girl who's smile brightens your day, or her voice alone and keep you motivated for a month, or that girl who's beauty radiates in the darkness. That girl, who just understands me better than I do, is standing right there in my view. Love...is something you shouldn't take for granted, but something you should cherish and value with your life.

I felt a sadness deep in my heart. My legs were shaking, my heart was beating, my mind was running in circles. I felt something drip onto my forearm. Today for the first time in a VERY long time, I cried because Love is just so painful and so happy at the same time.

Random Thoughts

I always hate when there's something on my mind...and someone asks me about it, but I can't really say anything cuz it's about them.

The Best Player Ever To Wear A Toronto Raptors Jersey...

Man, he was a beast in his heyday...

Clip of the Moment

My duuuuuude JR Aquino on The Voice...

Today...

Was a really loaft and tiring day...didn't have class, but went to school anyway cuz I don't like staying home when my parents are home lol, I'm really loaft as well. So went to school, stayed in the library for a bit finishing up some assignments, went to lunch with a friend, then played ball for a bit, then went home. Just a typical day pretty much...after at like 8 ish, went to church to play ball...it was an alright turnout...we ran 3's...guess people were busy tonight.

J. Cole - I'm A Fool

So, if you follow J. Cole on twitter...you'll know he was replying to a bunch of people randomly. The story is he had a new track lined up...but didn't wanna release it himself...so he emailed it to a random fan and had them upload it LOOOL...what a g.

From Me To You...

I miss you...it's weird. We have this kind of on off thing that always happens between us. When it's off, it's off and I'm just doing my thing...but when it's on...it's bright as heck and yeah lol. Today, I was just thinking to myself...if I could redo certain things with you...would I...and the truth is I would, I would definitely redo the way I handled a bunch of things...the decisions i made for some things...but we were both young and immature. If we had legitimately continued what we had...I wonder what it would be like. Deep down, you've told me how you'll always have a thing for me and a place in your heart for me...and at the same time, I know if I were to ever consider giving it another shot...I know you'd jump at the chance. But I dunno...sometimes, I do get that feeling...of wanting comfort and somebody to lean on you know. Talking to you...is always refreshing...it's comforting, it gives me that warm feeling. As we have conversations now...I can instantly tell you're different...good different, you've changed...grown...matured. The conversations we have are different...good different lol. This summer...was up and down...but chilling with you...just seemed right you know. People have their opinions and perspectives of you...and maybe I'm blindsided...but I see through you...I see deep into your heart. I dunno...I haven't told many people this or talked about it a lot...mainly just thought about it with myself...but I get that feeling...of just missing you...thinking about and of you...it's weird lol. Like I said...sometimes there'll be spurts of time where we don't talk for a while cuz we're both busy...but when we're on, we're on...when we do talk...we talk a lot...late night phone calls...long text messages...skype conversations...those moments...never cease to give me that tingly feeling you know. It just feels...nice...when I'm with you. Sometimes, I tell myself...3 years ago, we were both immature, young and not ready...then I say to myself...maybe I should give it another try...lol...I have no idea...I always have lots of thoughts and emotions running through my head...and I'm always analyzing situations and possible situations...we'll see what happens.

Today...

Sorry for no posts...it was a long and tiring day, didn't get much sleep...had to wake up early for church as usual. Was a pretty generic day...went to church, went to lunch after with the praise and worship team...then came back and had a prayer meeting, then practise. Afterwards, headed home...chilled for a bit...was gonna chill with friends, but we ended up flopping...ended up just going to the park and playing some ball for a bit. Other than that, nothing else happened lol...lots of homework coming up and lots of reading as well too...gotta really buckle down as of right now...haven't touched my xbox in weeks...but I know my biggest distraction is gonna be my computer for sure...which sucks cuz I need it also to research and type up stuff...eh...will power lol, self control!

Follow Me On Twitter!

I've said it before but I'll def say it again...feel free to follow my twitter to get live updates as they happen lol. I tweet a lot...pretty much things that happen in my daily life, I rant, I try to inspire, motivate...I also tweet like lyrics, bible verses, quotes and just things that inspire and motivate me as well. Follow me @RTtheRealest THANKS!

From The Heart: Restlessness

Restlessness...we were talking about this yesterday at bible study, and what it means to rest in God. I wanted to share something, but I didn't feel it was the right time. But you guys know, how I failed 3 courses in school last year, second semester...it was just a really tough, stressful and nerve racking time for me. I was doubting God, I was doubting myself, I felt like I was at rock bottom. But something someone said really hit me...all your successes and failures, wins and losses...mean nothing, shouldn't be that important. Especially your failures and your losses...you shouldn't let it get to you, because at the end of the day...if you believe in Christ, you have eternal life. Sometimes we dwell so much on our failures that we doubt God...but at the end of the day, our successes and our triumphs are in no way as satisfying as knowing that if our lives were to end today...we would spend the rest of eternity in Heaven with God. It really relieved me...that doesn't mean to neglect your responsibilities either...but it means not to make it your sole priority...what if you life ended tomorrow...all that would mean nothing, everything you put your efforts in...your nice car, nice house, your spouse, your friends...that means nothing...in comparison to knowing you have eternal life...and all you have to do is believe. It really relieved me in a sense that I can live my life...win or lose, pass or fail...with a calm heart...knowing that at the end of the day...I can still say that I'm going to sit at the right hand of God.  We were talking about sin...and how sin means just missing the mark. And it popped it my head...the verse, and I finally got it..."for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23...it just all made sense to me. So yeah, I'm stilll going to work hard and try to earn a decent living...but I'm not going to make being successful or being famous my main priority...and I also know that if I fail, if I miss the mark...I have a brighter, better and more glorious future ahead of me...that when I die...I will have eternal life.

Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together Cover (Olivia Noelle)

Abosolutely amazing...

Random Thoughts

Yesterday, I went out with my fellowship for dinner...it was only like 6 of us...but during dinner, we had some funny conversations and jokes and laughs...and it made me think and reflect...of when I first came to fellowship. I was dreading it...I did not want to come, I didn't know anybody and I didn't wanna get to know them. I thought they were very cliquey and to themselves and they always spoke cantonese, I only knew a few guys and I figured I would be talking to them and only them. But it's crazy how God works...he breaks down barriers and His Spirit really works to change and shape you. When I first entered, I met some more people...through similar interests like working out, sports, etc. And I dunno...it's been 3 years...and I went from, being shy, keeping to myself, not really opening up to them, not wanting to chill with them....to having heart to heart conversations with them in their car, wanting to spend more time with them outside of church, going to lunches, dinners, their houses, cracking jokes and making fun of them in a friendly way at dinners and stuff. I keep telling my friends...based on my personal experience, you just really have to give them a chance...put yourself out there, put yourself in uncomfortable situations...let yourself adapt. I constantly put myself in situations to expose myself to that...whether it was going out to dinner with them after fellowship, joining praise team, involving myself more in fellowship...just really spending more time with them...and now I really enjoy it...yeah we have our differences, some of us are really different...but it's what helps make our fellowship so strong you know...cuz we are all different and I guess opposites attract in this case. But yeah...during dinner when we were making jokes and laughing and stuff...in my head, I was just like...wow...I've come a long way...I love these moments now where we have meals and talk and stuff...I've really gotten to know them so much and I've really allowed them to get to know me as well and I feel so comfortable with them.

Random Stories

I remember when I was in Singapore one time, I was pretty young...I was in HMV...and I had enough money to buy one CD, I was with my cousins and my brother. And I was deciding between a 50 Cent CD and a Linkin Park CD...lol, for some reason I was really into both really greatly lol. But yeah, it was the longest debate of life, and I finally went with the 50 Cent CD and as soon as I go to buy it, my cousin snatches it away from me (she was older) and runs to pay for it lol. Apparently, my uncle (who's kinda rich, works at the airport) told her to buy something for me lol. My uncle has always been like that, whenever we go visit, he feels the need to buy me something spectacular or give me something spectacular lol. I remember when I went with my fam and my brother didn't go, I told him my brother had a PS1...the next day he opens his trunk and all I see are like 30+ videogames and he's like, they're all yours...LOOOOL. Another time when we went back, we went to some convention with like electronics and games and stuff like that...and he got us both ipod shuffles...and that was when they first came out, so they were pretty expensive lol, crazy eh...damn lol.

Pet Peeves

One of my greatest pet peeves...is when people complain that I don't share with them more about me. Like I don't tell them enough about my life or I don't confide in them enough. One thing you have to understand about friendship is it's a 2 way street...so if I'm not confiding in you, you're either thinking too much and I am confiding in you...or you're not confiding in me either, so I'm not gonna confide in you. Some people complain that I don't share with them enough and they never know how I'm feeling...but then when I ask then what's up, they give me generic or simple answers. You get back as much as you put into any friendship...remember that.

Yesterday...

Sorry for no posts yesterday, but it was a reeeeeeeal long, tiring, fun, exciting, traumatic and adventurous day lol. Woke up at like 10 ish...went with a few friends downtown to meet with another friend who is outta town for university but we wanted to chill with her. So I wore shorts, t shirt and sandals, but I brought a sweater. So we drove to the subway station, took the subway...and it started raining. So walked who knows how far...in shorts, my sweater and most importantly my sandals...walking through puddles and everything, my feet and my sandals were so done. We met up, went to an all you can eat sushi place, which wasn't all that great, but it wasn't super bad either...it was eh. Then went to the mall and the girls went their own way and me and my friend went our way. We had so much fun lol...we went to to this toy story...looking at like action figures and cards and stuff...and the creepiest guy of life, wearing a black trench coat and a black cap approaches us, starts talking about like cards and asking us questions about what we like...in my head I was like scared I was like yo...this dude feels like one of those abductors...LOOOL, no joke though...he was so sketch...me and my friend dipped from the store asap...keep in mind he was in a toy store, a kids store...me and him were mad paranoid the rest of the day LOOOL always looking over our shoulders. We went to the washroom and saw this asian dude holding a samurai sword...no joke. Went to this clothing store...saw some fancy like fur jacket or something...my friend's like this isn't bad...I'm like...are you dumb, the only person who can rock that is like Kanye West. He goes look behind you, I turn around and this dude is trying it on and he looks like so disappointed LOOOL, he put it away and walked away. I felt sooo bad lol cuz I didn't know he was there. After that we went to a book store and just chilled...bringing back the childhood memories, reading Robert Munsch, Dr. Seuss, Where's Waldo and I Spy books. After that, we met back with the girls and we headed home, went straight to church and I was so tired and out of it, but somehow mustered up the strength to pay attention and keep awake lol.

Cutie of the Moment

I believe this girl is an import model, but she's somewhat known...her name is Dannie Riel...she's sooooooo sexy, holy...

Oasis - Wonderwall

Man, how old is this song...yet it's so relaxing and soothing. "There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how."

From The Heart: Giving Up

I'm taking 4 courses this year...how my school works is like this...a 3 credit course is one semester, a 6 credit course is a full year, a 9 credit course is a full year as well...it's just more work crammed into a year...how I see it is a 6 credit and a 3 credit's workload put into one making a 9 credit course. So 30 credits is considered a full course load...I think like 36 is the max or something, so this year I'm taking 30 credits...two 6 credit courses and two 9 credit courses. So I was sitting in one of my 9 credit courses...and we were just going through the course stuff, work, projects and stuff...and I sat there thinking to myself...wow, this is a lot of stuff, yeah it's a bird course...well supposed to be...but there's a lot of reading and work to be done. That's when the thought crossed my mind...what if I'm not up for this...what if it's too much...should I switch out into an easier course...or should I just drop it as a whole. That's when I started getting that feeling...that feeling of being a quitter...of being a loser...that feeling of something who comes face to face with a challenge...and before he even tries it, he doubts himself, thinks it's too hard and walks away. The school year's just started, I haven't even given myself a chance and I'm already doubting myself and my abilities. That's not to say be cocky and be like oh this is easy, no problem, but it's to have faith in myself and believe that if I put my mind to it, I can accomplish it. I felt like as soon as I reached this obstacle...it became bigger and bigger in my head...and before even attempting to overcome it, I simply walked away from it for fear of failure. I guess that's how I felt when we were going through the workload...I felt like I wanted to give up before I had even started. There was this one tweet I read where it said "it's not about lack of motivation, lack of commitment". And that's so true...it's not that I wasn't motivated, it's that I wasn't fully committed, to school, to work hard, to put 100% effort into this. It was a sort of eye opener, about how important this year really is...and how hard I really have to work and how much effort I really do have to put in. Yeah there may be a lot of work and readings, but when I took a deep breath and took a step back, it all seemed manageable...the profs seemed cool...and I, in my heart of hearts knew deep down that if I sat down and really focused, I could do well in these courses...I guess it's just about first...trusting that God has a plan for me with all this...and second, believing and having confidence in myself and pushing myself to buckle down and focus and put in the required effort to do well.

116 - Man Up Anthem feat. Lecrae, KB, Trip Lee, Tedashii, PRo, Andy Mineo, Sho Baraka

Today...

What's good, today was a chill day, only 2 classes...8:30 - 10:30...4-5. Pretty much just chilled the entire time, napped in the library...played ball...chilled with friends. They had some fear factor thing in the student centre...people eating and drinking nasty concoctions for prizes...they had to eat like raw eggs and hot sauce, cottage cheese/mustard/maple syrup, raw snails, spam and orange juice, find 2 gummy bears in a bowl of WORMS and eat the gummy bears :S...so gross...the prizes were like gift cards, timmies, best buy, chapters...then like an ipod touch and leafs tickets. What else did I do...mad jokes, some girl was wearing a sun dress in lecture and she tripped up the stairs...MAD JOKES LOOOL. Other than that, yeah...just a really tiring day, work and reading starting to pile up...glad it's finally the weekend.

LOL of the Moment

Don't even ask how I randomly remember this...but I remember in elementary school...one of my boys jeans zippper was broken...it wouldn't zip up...so his fly was down the entire day, he was mad embarrassed...and I have NO clue who came up with this idea, but someone was like, we're all gonna zip our fly's down in honour of him....LOOOOOOOLLL, don't ask why...but I did it. Looking back on it...it was the stupidest thing ever...like 5-10 boys with their zippers down just for the sake of it...oh man, we were dumb back then.

Today...

What's good...today was a long day...Wednesday's are my longest and most tiring day. Class from 8:30 to 9. I hate how it's always cold in the mornings, then super hot in the afternoons...I wanna wear a hoodie, but I don't wanna have to carry it around later on. So I just wore a t shirt and jeans today...it was cold in the morning...wasn't that cold at night, it was bearable. Spent a lot of time in the library during my breaks with friends...chilled, napped, wasn't in the mood for ball and my friend didn't have clothes either. Supposed to have a tutorial from 7-9 but it ended in only half an hour, so went to CCF, though I was kinda late...it was fun, talked more about the gospel and prayed and shared. Got to know more people, it was cool.

From The Heart: Knowledge Passed Down

I was on the bus the other day and I was just thinking...about how my dad always lectures me/tells me stories/talks to me at the dinner table, he always tells me things about what his dad told him and stuff like that. I then started thinking about the future...you should know what I'm talking about...if you read previous posts...I've been talking just about how life is feeling like it's moving really fast and stuff like that, talking about families and getting married. But yeah, I was thinking about the future...and I pictured myself...at the dinner table, surrounded by my wife and my kids...and it was like deja vu...cuz I was the one who was talking to my kids, telling them stories, lecturing them...and telling them the experiences I had and the things that my dad told me...lol, that's pretty cool, how it's like even though we dread it now whenever our parents give us those talks...in the future, we're going to be the ones doing the exact same thing to our kids...we're gonna be like "back then, my dad told me this and that and this and that"...and just all sorts of stuff like that. Now that I think about it...my parents have thought me so much and through all these talks that we've had...it really has shaped me and moulded me into the person I am today...and with each talk and conversation we have around the dinner table, I begin to appreciate it and understand it more and more because I now really cherish the time I spend with my parents and just soak in and absorb whatever they have to tell me you know.

Today..

Sorry for no posts yesterday...I actually can't remember what I did yesterday lol...all I remember was going to ball at church at night, being really tired, coming back and showering and just collapsing. Today was a good day, I love how the weather is slowly getting chilly but still sunny and bright...good weather for hoodies and sweaters. But yeah, today I only had one class at 4-5. But I went early cuz that was the only time my rents could give me a ride. Went, played ball for like 2 hours, worked out for an hour, played ball for another hour, ate lunch, took a nap at the library...then finally went to class lol, the class is called Technology and Civilization, talking about past and present technologies and how it affected society and how society created them pretty much, it's supposed to be a bird course (an easy course)...for the most part, the work seems manageable and the prof seems really cool, I just gotta work hard obviously.

Clip of the Moment

Remember Slamball? Damn...

LOL of the Moment

For all my Dragon Ball Z fans...Trunks first turning super saiyan...hahaha

Today...

Was a real loaft and unproductive day for the most part. The rest of the people moved into university today...kinda bittersweet I guess, messaged them all goodbye, to stay safe and be responsible and of course to visit often. Loafted at home, watched TV, Fresh Prince, Yu-Gi-Oh, gamed a bit...it wasn't until like 6pm...that the weather started clearing up, went to play ball...till like 9 ish, came home and ate dinner. Just a very blah day...nothing interesting...I feel like my days move so slow when I have nothing to do...just sitting at home counting the hours as they go by. But when I have things planned, time seems to move so fast and the events pass by in a blink of an eye...talk about life moving fast lol...

MC Jin - Still With You feat. Uncle Reece

These lyrics are just amazing...

Random Thoughts

Today in the car, we were just talking about life...how we all felt it was moving so fast. Sometimes, I feel so young, but then sometimes I feel so old. Like a few weeks ago, me and 3 other friends who we've all known since elementary school...went to our elementary school/coach's house for a barbecue...just reminiscing and laughing and stuff. I feel like life is just constantly moving faster and faster. 4 years of high school just breezed by and now I'm already in my 3rd year of university...turning 21 next year. Sometimes I feel so young...when I look at how many years ahead of me and the fact that I'm only 20...then on the flip side...sometimes I feel so old...when I look at the younger generation coming up...the kids at my church, how they're all growing up so fast and so tall...damn, lol. We were also talking about just how people our age already have kids or are married or something...like damn, that's even crazier. I don't get how people get married so young...like 25 or something...you're still fresh out of school...or still in school...just getting adjusted to the real world...and then you have to add the pressures and responsibilities of marriage, damn. But it is something I've thought about...I'd love to have one boy and one girl...I'd wanna teach and coach my son...put him in basketball...teach him how to shoot, train him and just be that role model and father figure in his life....and my daughter...oh man, she's gonna be daddy's little girl...I swear I'm gonna spoil her...I'm gonna have a mad soft spot for her...but I'm also gonna be super overprotective of her hahahaha...I want her to be able to confide in me...I wanna be involved in my children's lives...have family game nights lol....go out to dinners and chill...talk during dinner about our days, those kinds of things you know...but that's just me being old again...thinking years and years ahead...when I'm only 20 years old...still got lots of years of school left ahead...

Robin Thicke - Lost Without U

His voice is so soothing..."lost without you, can't help myself. How does it feel, to know that I love you baby."

Mariah Carey - Emotions Cover (Ariana Grande)

Also I tweeted about this and Ariana Grande favourited it within 5 minutes :D

Random Thoughts

This school year...I need to really figure a lot of things out...in my life. From personal, to academic, to spiritual...and yeah. I have to answer a few questions that have been burdening me...I'm glad I have time to myself to really collect my thoughts and figure out my feelings. I also really need to focus on school and buckle down and get the best grades possible. Then also gotta keep walking and growing through Christ as well...just continuing to do devos, pray and live a Christ-centered life. No doubt there'll be trials, temptations and failures...but I know God has a plan for me...all I need to do is trust Him.

Today...

Was a real chill and fun and loaft day lol...was supposed to have bible study at 3 with friends, but we were all tired and not in the mood...ended up just chilling and playing some mahjong lol. Afterwards, went home and chilled for an hour, took a nap...then headed to church...beginning of a new year...so the grade 12's..well there was only one..he moved up to our fellowship and we just had a welcome night...played more board games and chilled and had fun. After that, a few of us got mcds and headed to someone's house for monopoly and mah jong lol. I hate when like things don't go someone's way...so they kind of sulk...or make everyone feel bad...that might just be worse than someone complaining...cuz this person like sulks and their mood just kinda depresses the whole environment and it makes everyone uncomfortable and sad in a sense also, but eh...my package came today and I was really happy lol...still have one more coming. Really sad that the rest of the people who haven't started school yet are leaving tomorrow or Sunday...won't see some of them for a real long day...def pray for them to be safe and responsible. I also hope we stay connected...sometimes, I get lazy and forget to check up on people...but eh, we'll see what happens.

From Me To You...

I think I do...but I'm convincing myself I don't.

- I know a lot of you might not get that, but it's something I can't elaborate on atm...just take it for what it is, sorry.

Today...

Was another long day...woke up early...my bus too longer than usual today, was a bit late for class...was really crowded, managed to find a seat between 2 cute white girls. Lots of cute girls, mostly white...in that class :P haha...after, got some food with my friend, then played ball, got a bunch of good runs...played full court, played some 21, then played 2 on 2...so tiring, entire lower body was done. Went for lunch with my friend, then chilled in the library, then class, then home lol...I'm just glad I finally get to sleep in tomorrow. Woke up super early yesterday and today...so glad I have Mondays and Fridays off...hopefully it'll balance out waking up super early on Wednesday and Thursdays...also gotta get my books soon too...

LOL of the Moment (Kevin Hart)

Kevin Hart is tooooooo funny...

LOL of the Moment

KOTD: Dizaster vs poRich (Title Match)

Crazy how KOTD has grown and risen so much while Grindtime is kinda slowly fading cuz all they're real good battle rappers are slowly retiring or moving on...but yeah...the KOTD champ poRich comes into the battle facing a beast in Dizaster...does he leave the champ?

Cutie of the Moment

Dannie Riel...soooooooo cute...

Today...

What's good...the first day of school for many people. I never get any sleep the day before a big event...I dunno why lol. My day was long but not too bad...went to class at 8:30, it was relaxing...ate with my friend, chilled in the library for a bit, he went to class, chilled with my other friend...then we went to back to library and chilled some more...then went to our last class of the day. After that, went to the Chinese Christian Fellowship at York for the first time...been loafting on that for 2 years...mentioned how I wanted to go in my first year...told myself I was gonna go in my second year but laofted...so I'm glad I finally decided to check it out today, it was definitely fun and better than I had expected, excited for next week. Bussed home and got home around like 9:30 ish...long night.

LOL of the Moment

I absolutely love her videos lol...doesn't hurt that she's mad cute either...that part where she looks at the clothes is totally me lol...I always feel bad when I try to fold it back nicely and make it even worse.

JLS - Everybody In Love

LOL of the Moment

Finally a new effing with Chaz...hahha these are soooo hilarious...

Keyshia Cole - Trust feat. Monica

Random Thoughts

I feel like I've talked about the same thing, had the same conversation and told the same story to sooo many different people already...and I've got a bunch of some similar and some different answers...sigh...more stress...and school hasn't even started yet, cheesed.

Today...

Was a real fun and long and tiring day...woke up at like 12:30...had a church lunch gathering at someone's house at 1...ended up going at like 3 cuz my friend was cleaning her room -__- LOOOL. It was fun though...played lots of board games and chilled and had a great time. After that, headed home, chilled for a short bit...went to church to play ball...good turnout...3 even teams of 5, real fun...gonna miss those ball runs when everyone goes back to university :(

Hillsong - God Is Able

My friend showed me this song yesterday and I remember my softball team singing it as well lol, looove this song.

Random Thoughs

I had a talk with a friend yesterday...and she sorta eased my mind a bit about this one thing I've been anxious about. I'm still not fully sure how I feel about the whole situation, but our conversation now kinda has me leaning more to one way and it's sort of relieving. One thing that really hit me was when she told me "that fact that this person has been through a lot and doesn't open up to that many people, but she does and she trusts you says a lot". I dunno...I guess I just kinda convince myself otherwise you know...I know you reading this probably might just be like, what in the world are you talking about...I don't even know man...sigh.

Yesterday...

Was such a fun day..woke up early, sang for Sunday worship...was soooo tired after though cuz I was running on like 6 hours of sleep. Had a good talk with a friend before Sunday school...I guess it kinda eased my mind about a few things, definitely helped me settle a few things I was struggling with and gave me a few answers to my questions....but I'm still confused and up in the air about a bunch of things. After Sunday school, went to lunch with 2 of my friends and it was fun, I love chilling with them lol. Afterwards, went to my friend's softball practise and we had a scrimmage with her jr and sr teams mixed, that was real fun as well, but it was mad hot. After that, headed to her house cuz a few of our other friends wanted to chill...so we all made dinner at her house, played some mahjong and a bunch of board games...I honestly love all the interaction, laughs and jokes that happen during the board games, it's so much fun lol.

LOL of the Moment

Lecrae - Welcome To H-Town feat. Tedashii, Dre Murray

Ginuwine - Differences

Today...

Today was a real loaft day...stayed at home for the most part...gamed, watched stuff on laptop...prepped for fellowship cuz I was leading my group...made a fun snakes and ladders game with questions at each slot. There were only 3 people in our group...me, the other leader and his girlfriend...and one counsellor decided to join us...at first I was like wow...4 members are missing, it's not gonna be that fun or interactive...surprisingly, it went really well...we got lots of sharing and discussion in and I got to know the people better. Afterwards, we went out for food like we usually do. Tomorrow, going back to my insurance place and hopefully get this thing settled once and for all...if not, I swear I'm gonna kill that lady.

On a side note: HAPPY 1ST OF SEPTEMBER...can you believe it...another school year is upon us...some kids are just starting elementary school, some kids are moving up to high school...and some kids are going up to university...either way, it's a new step for a lot of us...can't wait to see what 2013 has in store, for now..deuces.