Random Thoughts

It's 10 am right now...I just woke up this morning feeling really down you know. Part of me is really frustrated I can't even tweet or blog about everything that I want to cuz specific people will read it and get offended and because I see these people often, I don't wanna do that. But yeah...it's just...a bunch of emotions...I'm sorry I can't elaborate or give details as to why...I just...feel like I can't talk to anybody you know. Everybody has that one person they always message, always go to, or that one person who is always there for them. Sometimes I feel like I have that in some people, then sometimes I don't. In a friendship...it's a 2 way thing like I always say where both people have to pull their weight and do their part to reach out to the other person and see how they're doing. If it's only one person always telling their life to another person, they're more of a therapist than a friend. And on another hand, if one friend is always reaching out to the other friend and the other friend never messages or reaches out to that friend...that's not really a healthy friendship either. I dunno...I've been talking to my ex lately...and I'm in this mood where if I'm comfortable with you, no matter who you are...I'll talk to you...it's just nice you know, to have someone to listen to you, someone who genuinely cares. There's this person...who I feel like I'll always have a little thing for...no matter what we've been through, how close we are or how far we've grown...every time I talk to this person, it just feels like we're best friends all over again and part of me just wants to tell this person everything, but I don't. I dunno...I have all these mixed emotions going on right now...part of me misses Cleveland with the kids and the missions team...but part of me misses that "temporary getaway" everyone talks about so much...no problems, no stresses, no people...man. I wanna say so much more...but I can't...I can't.