From The Heart: Changes

I just got back from lunch and studying at the library with my friends. Was chilling in the car with my friend while he was driving me home and we had a chance to talk. He lives away from home at university, so I don't get to see him often, but when we do chill, we always have these kinds of conversations. We just talked about life, school, the future and he told me I was thinking too much and too far ahead. Just the usual stuff you've always heard, being scared and unsure of the future...moving out...life after school...living on my own, things like that. We just started talking about change...how there's gonna be lots of change ahead of us. Living on our own, having a permanent job, starting a family, things like that. I told them how some of my friends wanna move away for work or something...but I can't imagine myself going too far, or going away at all...and leaving everything behind...my family, my brother, my home, my friends...everything I grew up with, my schools...he said you're too comfortable and too comfortable with this life, but changes are expected along with life. But I can't imagine it you know...leaving all my homies I grew up with...the people I went to elementary, high school and university with...to leave them, it'll be different. To go somewhere completely new, find a new church, make new friends, call a new place home...it's scary. But it's something that you can't avoid...when you start a family, you have to put their needs and what's best for them ahead of your own agenda. If you really love your family, you'll sacrifice for them. It's scary to think I'll only see my fam or friends once a month, once every few months, once a year...just wow. But then again, that's life...waking up everyday for work, to pay and support your family. You're gonna have new worries and new concerns...it's not gonna be oh..I wonder what this girl said about me, does she like me? Did my boy do this, do that...life in the future is scary...it's gonna be like...do I have to work overtime tomorrow...does my son need a new backpack...things like that. It's scary...that change is coming. I think it's scary when I think that I'm 20 years old...I'm not really young, but I'm not really old. Like the future is right in front of me...I can see it, but I'm not quite there yet, but it's coming...which is why I posted the song Changes by 2Pac...I just thought of it when we were in the car talking..."that's just the way it is, things'll never be the same"...so true...changes.