Random Thoughts

You ever get that feeling...where you wanna talk to a certain person, but it's either...you're not friends anymore, you're not that close enough anymore or they're just really far away. I've felt all of those lately...where here and there, I've just had a urge to talk to some people that I miss and just miss their presence...but it's one of those three things. When that does happen, my brain automatically brings up the last time me and whoever it is that's on my mind were close and having good conversations. There's so many things I wish I could change or relive, but I always tell myself everything happens for a reason and it's all a lesson learned and it all has played a part in shaping and moulding me into who I am today and what I represent. But if I could say something to these people...I'd say...I miss the way we use to talk to each other, tell each other everything, spend hours on the phone, just know when each other were upset without us telling one another, I miss when we were genuinely close. To you...I'd say, I'm sorry...for whatever, I don't even know what happened, but uh...I miss you...I genuinely had the deepest care and love for you or I wouldn't have gone so out of my way to make you happy, but it was worth it. To you...I'd say, I wish you weren't so far away, when you came back...your presence alone and the atmosphere you bring made me so happy...you're always such a happy person and your personality, though weird and really rambunctious sometimes, really made you stand out and you were definitely easy to talk to and very laid back and relaxed. There's so many things I wanna say to people, so many people I wish I were still close to, still talking to...I dunno back. Time is the biggest test of all friendships...and time is undefeated. Distance is also another friendship killer...I don't think too much of this though, cuz yeah I've lost a lot of friends and I'm not close to a lot of friends, but I really do my best to not be really sad and down and instead be upbeat and positive and appreciate the friends that I have. Appreciate and be thankful for all the friends I've known since elementary school and brought them with me or still keep in touch with them even though I'm in university, that's what I'm thinking about, the good, not the bad. Because I've learned...what's happened, has happened...what's the use in dwelling in the bad, it's only gonna make you more sad, it's not gonna change anything. I've learned that in every situation, good or bad...you just gotta dwell on the positives, even when you're at your darkest point, try to find the light.