Thursday, December 28, 2017
Drifting
I feel like as you get older, quality of friendship becomes so much more important than quantity in friendship. Or maybe you feel the same way right now, who knows...for me, as I've gotten older...I\m much more content having 2-3 super close friends than like 10-15 acquaintances or buddies. I've been thinking a lot about people I used to be super close with, friends who I've shared super personal conversations with and shared fun and dope memories together. But not all friendships last, and not all of them are meant to last. I have a lot of friendships that just didn't work out, we grew apart...then I have other friendships where we simply cut each other off, for varying reasons. But one thing for sure...is that when you do share those memories, conversations and such with a friend...you'll always have that, even tho you may not be close friends anymore. I have A LOT of friends who I'm still very cordial and casual with...who I'll see and ask how they're doing and some even ask to go out and catch up. But I know deep down it'll never be the same...because it just won't...again for varying reasons, BUT we'll always have those memories, those conversations and that period of time where we were super close friends. I have so many friends who I'll see and still have so much love for, but they won't be people I'll go out of my way to see or talk to on a consistent basis, isn't that funny how life moves on? I recall an old conversation with a friend. This was a girl I thought the world, we would always take late night walks at the park and just sit there for hours, talking. One look at her face and I would know if and what was wrong with her. But time and life moves on as it should...and we drifted apart. So the conversation went like this...essentially, she was asking me what happened, how and why we drifted apart. She asked me this from a very content standpoint, not in a looking to become best friends again standpoint, as we were both at a point in our lives where we had new groups of friends and we were in different stages of life, we had changed...we weren't those kids anymore who were best friends, who took walks at the park. But yeah anyways, she asked me that question, what happened...and I couldn't answer, cuz to be honest I wasn't sure. It's one of those things that slowly but surely happened. Messages got shorter, replies took longer, we saw each other less and less...no particular reason, it just happened. There was a point where she got a boyfriend as well, you know the drill...we drifted apart. She then brought up another girl...she was like the way you look at her, the way you talk to her...that's how you used to see me. And I was like damn...you're right. Now she didn't say this from a jealous or bitter standpoint...it was more of like pointing out something she noticed. And I was like you're right...in a sense, it's kinda like she replaced you, but not really of course. But it is kinda like that isn't it...whenever there's a void, we look for something to fill that void...whether you've just broken up from a boyfriend or girlfriend or gotten into an argument with a best friend or they move away. Isn't that interesting how life moves on? Sometimes it's weird...seeing your ex with their new significant other. Or seeing a former best friend with another best friend? Thinking to yourself, that used to be me...but knowing at the same time that if you could put yourself in that person's shoes, you wouldn't...because you're not that same person anymore. Life moves on, people change...but you'll always have those memories to keep you connected with the people you shared them with.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Too Much Information
Geez, I'm sorry...so much for posts every other day...literally it's been so busy, like I've literally been out and about pretty much everyday and on the few days I haven't been, people have been over and stuff...so it's been difficult to find time to blog lol, But uh, let's end of 2017 strong and give y'all posts everyday till we ring in the new year. Merry Christmas to y'all,,,or happy holidays to be 'politically correct' lol. What have I been up to lately. A lot of like family stuff, seeing friends, going out...I love this time of year...because it's so busy...everyday's back home and off work for the most part...so there\s a lot of events, the malls are super busy, but yeah. So anyways...I met a couple new people in the fast few days and it made me realize that despite being a shy person, I'm very open. Does that make sense? How can you be shy and open at the same time? Well, I dunno tbh...like I had just met this one guy...he was selling something to me, and then I started rambling about how my day went and I caught myself and had to stop. Yesterday, same thing I was talking to this guy I had met for the first time and started rambling like man, I had such a long day today, I did this and this...then I was like oh true my bad you prob don't care lol. It's interesting considering how deathly quiet I used to be...and somewhat still am but not really to this day lol. Like the more I thought about it I was like damn...there's some things in my life I used to be hella private about, hella scared to tell people...like failing some courses in university...like I swear that isn't even a secret anymore, or like I'm so open about it. Or being so open about just talking about my struggles or relationships. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say oh look at me I'm so open, I'm so honest. Cuz honesty can be to a fault as well. It remind something my friend once said which sticks with me to this day...which is that I don't have to blog everything...she's like you know some things you can and are meant to be kept to yourself...and I remember that was when I went a week without blogging...because she was right, some things are meant to be kept to myself you know. But that's also become the story and theme of this blog, that it's so open and honest. That I love coming here and telling y'all everything. But I also understand there\ll probs come a day where this blog will end...but let's not end on a sour note lol...as I said, posts everyday from now till the new year, look out folks, peace.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Would You Rather?
I was having this internal debate with myself a long while ago...and so I bring that same debate I was having with myself over to you. I forgot what triggered this debate...but essentially I asked myself...would you rather be deaf or blind if you had to pick one. And it's something I struggled with going back and forth between. It made me think of life in like the most intricate but also the most simplest aspects. Like being blind you can't see...little things like seeing the clouds, seeing the sun rise and set. Seeing faces, colours, all that stuff. Little things like walking become more of a difficult task. Reading, having to learn braille...or even like playing basketball, everything in life has to be modified so you can use your other senses. Having to use things like audio books or having to listen to shows and movies. I thought of like so many little things that we do naturally and don't really think about. But then...being deaf, not being able to hear and have proper conversations with people. Having to learn sign language, read subtitles on shows and movies. Your friends and family having to learn sign language as well in order to communicate with you. I literally struggled to decide which of the two I'd choose. And please don't get me wrong as I'm not trying to make light of either of these things. If anything, it really made me value life...and the little things...being able to wake up in the morning and see my parents, hear them tell me to sleep earlier and all that stuff. I dunno, what do you think about this? Is there one you'd choose over the other?
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Guest Writer #33: Young Gerald
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why can't y'all recognize
That we all came from sacrifice?
If you know the
reference, you are a real one lol. Anyways, I guess this is a
response/continuation of Rod’s recent post: Embrace Your Singleness
2. To me, life seems to be all about making sacrifices. From
something like “do I sacrifice an hour of sleep for an extra hour
of videogames?” to sacrificing 4 years of your time for a
“prestigious”, “recognizable” piece of diploma, a lot of
times we are forced to make decisions because time is so finite. The
question that begs then, is “are the sacrifices worth it?”.
Obviously, this is a subjective question. What is the best decision
in a situation depends on different contexts, and the individual’s
values too. I mean, think about it. After spending 4 lengthy years in
school, heck some graduates are still unemployed. Is it worth it? To
some, they might say no, because having a degree didn’t get them a
job. To others, they might say yes despite being jobless, for the
theoretical constructs they have learned, for the experiences that
have transpired and prepared them for adulthood, for all the valuable
friends that they have met throughout. For myself, sometimes I really
don’t know if my sacrifices are worth it or not. You know? Working
hard, getting promoted, saving up for a car, a house, and starting a
family, blah blah blah. Am I sacrificing for myself? or my family?
Sure enough, money is a crucial aspect of life. But there are also so
many things money cannot buy, like time, experiences, long-lasting
happiness. I really wish there is someone who I can share my life
with, someone who is also willing to share their burdens/struggles
with me. Ultimately, someone who will make these sacrifices worth it.
But unfortunately, that is just a part of life that you can’t
control. I remember a friend once said something to me along the line
of “if someone leaves you at your worst, he/she doesn’t deserve
you at your best.” Needless to say, I am beyond thankful for those
who chose to stick around in my life. Those who have supported me in
my struggles, those who have believed me when I didn’t believe in
myself, those who have reached out with a kind heart and loving
encouragements… I will never forget it. Life might feel lonely and
real difficult at times, but those who love and care for you will
always give you meaning to keep living.
Put the hours in, put the work in
Swear I try so hard to be perfect
But sometimes, it feels like a burden
Cause I still ain't crap but a person
Friday, December 15, 2017
8 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
Hey friends...wow, 8 years. I don’t think I’ve ever been this dedicated to anything in my life. To think I’ve almost been doing this for a decade. It’s funny cuz I was having a conversation with my barber and he’s like yo can you see yourself doing this for the next 10-20 years. And I hesitated, cuz to be honest I wasn’t sure. I don’t wanna get too deep into that topic...but for now, I just wanna enjoy the ride. If it’s meant to end somewhere down the line, soon or later...then at least we’ll have all this time we’ve spent together. But yeah some bts for you guys lol, so this photo was taken in the span of 2 shoots. Finished the first shoot and didn’t like how it turned out so went back again the next day and finished it up. Shoutout to my friend for helping me both days. But yeah I’ll post the ig caption along with both pics.
“Hey friends...wow, 8 years. I don’t think I’ve ever been this dedicated to anything in my life. To think I’ve almost been doing this for a decade. It’s funny cuz I was having a conversation with my barber and he’s like yo can you see yourself doing this for the next 10-20 years. And I hesitated, cuz to be honest I wasn’t sure. I don’t wanna get too deep into that topic...but for now, I just wanna enjoy the ride. If it’s meant to end somewhere down the line, soon or later...then at least we’ll have all this time we’ve spent together. But yeah some bts for you guys lol, so this photo was taken in the span of 2 shoots. Finished the first shoot and didn’t like how it turned out so went back again the next day and finished it up. Shoutout to my friend for helping me both days. But yeah I’ll post the ig caption along with both pics.”
“Hey friends...wow, 8 years. I don’t think I’ve ever been this dedicated to anything in my life. To think I’ve almost been doing this for a decade. It’s funny cuz I was having a conversation with my barber and he’s like yo can you see yourself doing this for the next 10-20 years. And I hesitated, cuz to be honest I wasn’t sure. I don’t wanna get too deep into that topic...but for now, I just wanna enjoy the ride. If it’s meant to end somewhere down the line, soon or later...then at least we’ll have all this time we’ve spent together. But yeah some bts for you guys lol, so this photo was taken in the span of 2 shoots. Finished the first shoot and didn’t like how it turned out so went back again the next day and finished it up. Shoutout to my friend for helping me both days. But yeah I’ll post the ig caption along with both pics.”
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Embrace Your Singleness 2
Here's the original version I wrote in 2015
Embrace Your Singleness
I was talking to a friend and she said something to me...she told me that "singleness is a gift". Which inspired me to write about this...and the more digging I did, I found an old post written in 2015...it's interesting to read how I felt about this back then. But it's kinda the same thing you know. How can you be all in to take care of somebody else when you yourself aren't even in a right state of mind. How can you take care of somebody else when you can't even take care of yourself? Often we say that love and relationships are a gift...but so is singleness. Honestly tho, who here enjoys their alone time? I cherish my alone time...just being able to be by myself, in my own thoughts and just relaxing. So it's not really about finding the right person, sometimes it's about building yourself up and taking care of yourself to be the right person for somebody else, y'feel? Especially seeing a lot of my friends in relationships...I see how little free time their have as individuals because they are always spending time together....not only that but they hardly have time for friends. Now I'm not saying that once you're in a relationship, there goes your free time and say goodbye to your friends...but essentially it's another piece of the pie that has to be split. Imagine if your time is split in half between family and friends...introduce a partner and that takes your time from halves to thirds meaning less family for your family and friends in order to make time for your partner. And of course pieces can shift and you might end up taking even more time from your family and friends and giving it to your partner meaning the pieces won't be evenly divided, you get what I'm saying? I think what I took from it is that with a relationship, comes a lot...a lot of sacrifice, a lot of commitment, a lot of time and a lot of effort. It's not all holding hands, date nights, hugs and kisses and all that...it's hard work...and that's something I don't think a lot of people realize when they get into relationships. So cherish your singleness guys...and girls, you might miss it once it's gone lol...or not....haha till next time, peace out.
Embrace Your Singleness
I was talking to a friend and she said something to me...she told me that "singleness is a gift". Which inspired me to write about this...and the more digging I did, I found an old post written in 2015...it's interesting to read how I felt about this back then. But it's kinda the same thing you know. How can you be all in to take care of somebody else when you yourself aren't even in a right state of mind. How can you take care of somebody else when you can't even take care of yourself? Often we say that love and relationships are a gift...but so is singleness. Honestly tho, who here enjoys their alone time? I cherish my alone time...just being able to be by myself, in my own thoughts and just relaxing. So it's not really about finding the right person, sometimes it's about building yourself up and taking care of yourself to be the right person for somebody else, y'feel? Especially seeing a lot of my friends in relationships...I see how little free time their have as individuals because they are always spending time together....not only that but they hardly have time for friends. Now I'm not saying that once you're in a relationship, there goes your free time and say goodbye to your friends...but essentially it's another piece of the pie that has to be split. Imagine if your time is split in half between family and friends...introduce a partner and that takes your time from halves to thirds meaning less family for your family and friends in order to make time for your partner. And of course pieces can shift and you might end up taking even more time from your family and friends and giving it to your partner meaning the pieces won't be evenly divided, you get what I'm saying? I think what I took from it is that with a relationship, comes a lot...a lot of sacrifice, a lot of commitment, a lot of time and a lot of effort. It's not all holding hands, date nights, hugs and kisses and all that...it's hard work...and that's something I don't think a lot of people realize when they get into relationships. So cherish your singleness guys...and girls, you might miss it once it's gone lol...or not....haha till next time, peace out.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
From The Heart #3
From The Heart #1
From The Heart #2
Figuring Out Life
Hey friends, where all my 90's babies at? And I mean like early 90's babies, those of y'all hovering around your 20's...are y'all here? Are you reading this right now? Your mid 20's are such a weird stage I swear...it's a lot of figuring stuff out and a lot of transitioning. For me, it's about change...but it's about the little changes here and there. That is until I was watching this one vlog and this guy talking about the change that happens in your mid 20's. He was like from your 10's to your 20's the amount of change that occurs is extreme...physical, mental, emotional...there's so much change that occurs from your 10's to your 20's...so much visible and concrete change...you get taller, your voice gets deeper, all that stuff. Then he went on to say...if all that change is happening from your 10's to 20's...imagine all the change that is happening from your 20's to 30's, whether you realize it or not...how you handle problems, your maturity, your priorities, all that stuff. He was saying how by 30...you should hopefully have some sort of goal or vision figured out...and I fully agree with that. Like as much as people move at their own pace and such...I truly do believe that by 30 or at least around 30, you should have at least a rough sketch or idea of what you wanna do or some sort of goal you wanna achieve...otherwise you have no direction in life you know. That's not to say you have to have a masterplan and every next step well thought out and planned...it's saying you should have at least a good idea of what you wanna do and how you plan on doing it, right? I don'r wanna put a cap or a ceiling on myself by saying like oh by 30 you have to have something figured out, you have to know what you wanna do or where you;re going in life. But at the same time I want to...because if you don't, it creates laziness and a lack of motivation. It's kinda like when you know there's no deadline for a project, so you loaft on it, whereas when you know okay boom this essay is due on this day...you can at least grind it out the night before, but all the days before that you're thinking about it, it's on your mind, you're stressing about it...because there's a timeline to meet. I don't know about you my fellow 80's babies...but a lot of my 20's thus far and especially after graduating university has been trying to figure out life, trying to plan out my future BUT also trying to trust God and reminding myself that he has a plan for me. That all this confusion, uncertainty and stuff is part of his plan, part of what faith is. That's all I really got to say for now...see ya soon.
From The Heart #2
Figuring Out Life
Hey friends, where all my 90's babies at? And I mean like early 90's babies, those of y'all hovering around your 20's...are y'all here? Are you reading this right now? Your mid 20's are such a weird stage I swear...it's a lot of figuring stuff out and a lot of transitioning. For me, it's about change...but it's about the little changes here and there. That is until I was watching this one vlog and this guy talking about the change that happens in your mid 20's. He was like from your 10's to your 20's the amount of change that occurs is extreme...physical, mental, emotional...there's so much change that occurs from your 10's to your 20's...so much visible and concrete change...you get taller, your voice gets deeper, all that stuff. Then he went on to say...if all that change is happening from your 10's to 20's...imagine all the change that is happening from your 20's to 30's, whether you realize it or not...how you handle problems, your maturity, your priorities, all that stuff. He was saying how by 30...you should hopefully have some sort of goal or vision figured out...and I fully agree with that. Like as much as people move at their own pace and such...I truly do believe that by 30 or at least around 30, you should have at least a rough sketch or idea of what you wanna do or some sort of goal you wanna achieve...otherwise you have no direction in life you know. That's not to say you have to have a masterplan and every next step well thought out and planned...it's saying you should have at least a good idea of what you wanna do and how you plan on doing it, right? I don'r wanna put a cap or a ceiling on myself by saying like oh by 30 you have to have something figured out, you have to know what you wanna do or where you;re going in life. But at the same time I want to...because if you don't, it creates laziness and a lack of motivation. It's kinda like when you know there's no deadline for a project, so you loaft on it, whereas when you know okay boom this essay is due on this day...you can at least grind it out the night before, but all the days before that you're thinking about it, it's on your mind, you're stressing about it...because there's a timeline to meet. I don't know about you my fellow 80's babies...but a lot of my 20's thus far and especially after graduating university has been trying to figure out life, trying to plan out my future BUT also trying to trust God and reminding myself that he has a plan for me. That all this confusion, uncertainty and stuff is part of his plan, part of what faith is. That's all I really got to say for now...see ya soon.
Sunday, December 10, 2017
Confessions Of A Bully
"A bully half my life, bullied the other half
That really weird kid you used to point and laugh
But I grew up, barely avoided being a screw ip
Working on the dreams that my mom and dad drew up"
- RT
Who here has been a bully raise your hands? I sure have...I've been a bully but I've also been bullied...as the verse I wrote above suggests. Man when I was like in grade 4-5, I was a mean kid, I was a rough kid...that's why I always say younger Rodmond would beat up today's Rodmond hands down LOL. I remember just picking on and pushing kids around for the fun of it...cuz I enjoyed instilling fear in people you know. Walking around and people backing away...their fear gave me a sense of comfort and assurance...but it was only assurance in my own weaknesses. Man, I remember some kid was eating fruits from a plastic container and he finished it and put the container on the sie during recess. I saw it...kicked it to the ground and stepped on and it broke...this kid was crying and yelling at me and I just laughed, damn I was a horrible kid. I remember stealing this kid's pen and he cried and told on me and I threw the pen in another girl's desk and I didn't get booked for it LOOL, man I was terrible. But I've also been bullied before too...my "friends" laughed at me cuz I liked to stay inside at recess and play yu gi oh at one point in my life. There was a point in my life where I'd never get picked to play tag or to play red rover and when we all put our shoes in to decide who would be it, they'd never let me play. Trust me...I've been on both sides of the coin...and am very familiar with both. It's a big reason why I ass a person today...I love to encourage people. I think of the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me....sometimes words cut deeper than any physical abuse could ever do. But back to the encouragement part...I feel like this blog...in a sense is somewhat of a source of encouragement, at least I hope it is...for some people...maybe experiencing similar things or can be inspired or encouraged by my words. It's also why I love being around younger kids so much...cuz they're such a joy to be around (most of the time)...they're living, breathing encouragements for me...seeing them grow, mature, love and take care of one another...I love it. And part of the reason why I'm so big on encouragement is because of my experiences...as a bully and as the bullied. It's made me who I am...being able to understand both sides of the same coin. But yeah, that's all I have for now...see you soon, peace.
That really weird kid you used to point and laugh
But I grew up, barely avoided being a screw ip
Working on the dreams that my mom and dad drew up"
- RT
Who here has been a bully raise your hands? I sure have...I've been a bully but I've also been bullied...as the verse I wrote above suggests. Man when I was like in grade 4-5, I was a mean kid, I was a rough kid...that's why I always say younger Rodmond would beat up today's Rodmond hands down LOL. I remember just picking on and pushing kids around for the fun of it...cuz I enjoyed instilling fear in people you know. Walking around and people backing away...their fear gave me a sense of comfort and assurance...but it was only assurance in my own weaknesses. Man, I remember some kid was eating fruits from a plastic container and he finished it and put the container on the sie during recess. I saw it...kicked it to the ground and stepped on and it broke...this kid was crying and yelling at me and I just laughed, damn I was a horrible kid. I remember stealing this kid's pen and he cried and told on me and I threw the pen in another girl's desk and I didn't get booked for it LOOL, man I was terrible. But I've also been bullied before too...my "friends" laughed at me cuz I liked to stay inside at recess and play yu gi oh at one point in my life. There was a point in my life where I'd never get picked to play tag or to play red rover and when we all put our shoes in to decide who would be it, they'd never let me play. Trust me...I've been on both sides of the coin...and am very familiar with both. It's a big reason why I ass a person today...I love to encourage people. I think of the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me....sometimes words cut deeper than any physical abuse could ever do. But back to the encouragement part...I feel like this blog...in a sense is somewhat of a source of encouragement, at least I hope it is...for some people...maybe experiencing similar things or can be inspired or encouraged by my words. It's also why I love being around younger kids so much...cuz they're such a joy to be around (most of the time)...they're living, breathing encouragements for me...seeing them grow, mature, love and take care of one another...I love it. And part of the reason why I'm so big on encouragement is because of my experiences...as a bully and as the bullied. It's made me who I am...being able to understand both sides of the same coin. But yeah, that's all I have for now...see you soon, peace.
Friday, December 08, 2017
Emotionally Driven
So I’m a very emotional guy...clearly LOL. I think I wrote about it before...or a lot...who know. My friend once said that everything inside of me is like emotionally connected...whereas when something bad happens to me, my whole system like shuts down because everytning is emotionally connected. But that’s besides the point for today’s post. I was reading a Post Malone interview and he said that emotionally intense songs are the easiest to write and he was referring to his song “I Fall Apart”. He said that when you’re sad, upset or feeling something, you have so much to say. And that reminded me of this blog...how whenever something happens or I’m going through something, those posts are the easiest to write because they happen so organically and because I have so much to say. And the days I’m rushing to put out content or loafting on putting on content, it’s usually cuz nothing’s happening in my life. That’s kinda the story of this blog lol...especially when I go back and read old posts and am able to tell what was happening and how I was feeling and sometimes I can feel the emotion I felt as I was writing that post as well. Are you the same way? I know a lot of friends who are the opposite, very calculative and in a sense lacking emotion. But it’s a good thing in a sense that they don’t get attached very easily and it also means they don’t get hurt very often, but yeah that’s something entirely different that I can go into. But yeah, sorry about the short post today, I’ll see you in a bit, peace!
Wednesday, December 06, 2017
The Art Of Listening
The Art Of Being Lowkey
The Art Of Surprise
Hey people, so a long time ago, probably some time when I was high school...I remember having a conversation with my cousin. It doesn't really matter what we were talking about, I remember we were on a train, and I was standing across from her but I was looking down at my feet and the floor...suddenly she goes "Rodmond, you know when you talk to people, you gotta look them in the eyes, it lets them know you're part of the conversation, that you're engaged, that you're listening." Ever since then, I've really made it a conscious effort to be engaged and to be a good listener, and for the most part, people have told me that I am a good listener. Eye contact (aside from driving and some other situations) is perhaps the most key indicator of listening and being engaged. See you can be hearing the words someone is saying, but that doesn't mean that you're listening to what they're saying. Sometimes as a friend...and I'm sure most of y'all have been on both sides of the spectrum...but I personally feel a super important quality in a friend is simply being present, being there to listen to someone rant...some might see it as just being a lifeless body or a set of ears...but it's so much more than that...especially when you're on the other end and are the one ranting and pouring your heart out...having someone on the other end as a "set of ears" lets them know not only are they being heard, but that they're being cared for. Listening isn't just hearing what's being said...it's so much more, it's truly an art, because there's so many components. It's body language, posture, eye contact, listening intently and intentionally. The other part of listening is also responding...it can be as simple as nodding your head, chiming in like "oh okay, yeah keep going"...usually even if people are ranting and talking for long periods of time, they'll pause here and there...that's your in to just show you're listening you know and actually hearing what they're saying. The worst is talking to somebody and feeling like they're not hearing what you're saying. I really hate that...to the point where as of late...I'll just stop whatever I'm talking about because I'm wasting my time if I know the person isn't engaged...if the person is just hearing but not listening. People tell me I'm a quiet guy or always ask why I don't talk that much in certain situations...tbh I just like listening and hearing what people have to say....I think it's what I'm good at. I remember talking to this one friend and she was like you know, you're a really good listener, she's like that's why people like to come to you to rant and to talk. And the more I thought about it...a lot of my good friends, a lot of people in my life...love to talk...LOL. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I mean if people love to talk, someone's gotta listen right. I'll leave y'all with this..cuz Jackie Chan says it best...enjoy.
The Art Of Surprise
Hey people, so a long time ago, probably some time when I was high school...I remember having a conversation with my cousin. It doesn't really matter what we were talking about, I remember we were on a train, and I was standing across from her but I was looking down at my feet and the floor...suddenly she goes "Rodmond, you know when you talk to people, you gotta look them in the eyes, it lets them know you're part of the conversation, that you're engaged, that you're listening." Ever since then, I've really made it a conscious effort to be engaged and to be a good listener, and for the most part, people have told me that I am a good listener. Eye contact (aside from driving and some other situations) is perhaps the most key indicator of listening and being engaged. See you can be hearing the words someone is saying, but that doesn't mean that you're listening to what they're saying. Sometimes as a friend...and I'm sure most of y'all have been on both sides of the spectrum...but I personally feel a super important quality in a friend is simply being present, being there to listen to someone rant...some might see it as just being a lifeless body or a set of ears...but it's so much more than that...especially when you're on the other end and are the one ranting and pouring your heart out...having someone on the other end as a "set of ears" lets them know not only are they being heard, but that they're being cared for. Listening isn't just hearing what's being said...it's so much more, it's truly an art, because there's so many components. It's body language, posture, eye contact, listening intently and intentionally. The other part of listening is also responding...it can be as simple as nodding your head, chiming in like "oh okay, yeah keep going"...usually even if people are ranting and talking for long periods of time, they'll pause here and there...that's your in to just show you're listening you know and actually hearing what they're saying. The worst is talking to somebody and feeling like they're not hearing what you're saying. I really hate that...to the point where as of late...I'll just stop whatever I'm talking about because I'm wasting my time if I know the person isn't engaged...if the person is just hearing but not listening. People tell me I'm a quiet guy or always ask why I don't talk that much in certain situations...tbh I just like listening and hearing what people have to say....I think it's what I'm good at. I remember talking to this one friend and she was like you know, you're a really good listener, she's like that's why people like to come to you to rant and to talk. And the more I thought about it...a lot of my good friends, a lot of people in my life...love to talk...LOL. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I mean if people love to talk, someone's gotta listen right. I'll leave y'all with this..cuz Jackie Chan says it best...enjoy.
Monday, December 04, 2017
What Grinds My Gears
Hey friends hope you're doing well...so I'm talking to my dad yesterday and he goes hey...if your friend doesn't answer your phone call, they're not a real friend. My dad then proceeds to rant and stuff about how he hates when people don't pick up their phone. So here's some back story...so Saturday, I went to the washroom, didn't take my phone in like I usually do cuz I figured it'd be a quick one, I do that when I think I won't be in there for long cuz if I do take my phone in their I'll be in there for longer than I want to. So I come out from taking a dump and see a missed call and this text from my dad. Context...he's outside raking leaves. I'm like bruh...relax, first of all...try to make out what the text says...don't get it? It says why don't you pick up the phone, if your dad died on the floor and call you no use. Like bruh...extreme much> Like I get the people not picking up their phones part...I've been in situations where I really needed someone to talk to and I tried calling everybody and nobody picked up and I felt like no one was there for me...again, extreme...but different context. So back to present day when my dad is ranting about people not picking up the phone...I'm like dad...wait, you do the same thing. I call you all the time and you hardly pick up the phone on the first call. It isn't until I call multiple times or I give up and he calls me back 5 minutes later. This continues to an argument when he goes NO I DON'T DO THAT....and I'm like bruh...and we go back and forth some more...I'm like okay...stay here...let me open my phone, go to my calls and SHOW YOU specific moments...and of course, the proof is there and he's like no that's not me...like bruh it's right in front of your face. It's just hella annoying when he does these things...when he complains about something and goes and does it you know. Like when he compares how I talk to him vs how I talk to my friends when he knows the difference is exactly the same with him and I and him and his friends...but yeah...just a quick little story/rant on my end...see you in 2 days.
Saturday, December 02, 2017
Giving And Taking
Happy December folks...I meant to post yesterday bur I lost track of time. I know I usually give y'all the gift of posts every single day in the month of November, but the more I've been thinking about it, the more I realized that when I did do that, the quality of the posts dropped significantly. I mean like, I'd be stressing and frantically trying to get a post out...like half getting dressed ready to go out, trying to hurry up and type up a reasonably long enough post or in a moving car, struggling with what to write about. So this year, I\m gonna do something different and give y'all posts EVERY OTHER DAY, that way I get some time to think about the next day's post and y'all get some time to digest the current post that's up, it's a win win...kinda lol.
So moving on to today's post...this is again something I had saved up a while back...but I guess recent events have motivated me to come back and finish this idea I had. Especially since we're heading closer and closer to Christmas, the season of giving, what better topic to start of December with. I feel like giving and taking go hand in hand. You give a little, you get (or in this case take) a little. Every friendship, team, group project or social circle deals with the topic...or sometimes problem or giving and taking. In a friendship, sometimes it's so one sided that one person is always giving and the other person is always taking. In a group project, same thing...one person contributes while another person doesn't do anything but takes the credit and the marks. When that happens...when something is constantly being taken and nothing is being given back...what do you think is gonna happen? It's eventually gonna run out...right? Imagine a car...if you're constantly driving it and using the gas up without putting more gas in...eventually, the car's gonna die, it's gonna be empty. In a friendship...if one person is constantly taking from the other friend...whether favours, money, support, encouragement and never giving any back...what do you think is gonna happen, the person being taken from will eventually run dry...no matter how abundant they start with. This topic just really made me think about a lot of things in my life...friendships, groups, teams, whatever it might be...sometimes people keep taking and taking and taking...what else do you expect to happen when you keep taking without giving anything back? Every time you take...I'm not saying you're obligated to...but in a way, you should be giving a little back...whether for the next person to enjoy or simply so it doesn't run out...you know? Probably a bad example...but it's like using the toilet paper all the way to the end and not refilling it. The next person that comes in is gonna sit down, relax, finish up and realize bruh...there's no toilet paper, someone used it all without putting a new roll back on. Does that make sense? Is that weird? LOL...anyways...see you in 2 days...peace.
So moving on to today's post...this is again something I had saved up a while back...but I guess recent events have motivated me to come back and finish this idea I had. Especially since we're heading closer and closer to Christmas, the season of giving, what better topic to start of December with. I feel like giving and taking go hand in hand. You give a little, you get (or in this case take) a little. Every friendship, team, group project or social circle deals with the topic...or sometimes problem or giving and taking. In a friendship, sometimes it's so one sided that one person is always giving and the other person is always taking. In a group project, same thing...one person contributes while another person doesn't do anything but takes the credit and the marks. When that happens...when something is constantly being taken and nothing is being given back...what do you think is gonna happen? It's eventually gonna run out...right? Imagine a car...if you're constantly driving it and using the gas up without putting more gas in...eventually, the car's gonna die, it's gonna be empty. In a friendship...if one person is constantly taking from the other friend...whether favours, money, support, encouragement and never giving any back...what do you think is gonna happen, the person being taken from will eventually run dry...no matter how abundant they start with. This topic just really made me think about a lot of things in my life...friendships, groups, teams, whatever it might be...sometimes people keep taking and taking and taking...what else do you expect to happen when you keep taking without giving anything back? Every time you take...I'm not saying you're obligated to...but in a way, you should be giving a little back...whether for the next person to enjoy or simply so it doesn't run out...you know? Probably a bad example...but it's like using the toilet paper all the way to the end and not refilling it. The next person that comes in is gonna sit down, relax, finish up and realize bruh...there's no toilet paper, someone used it all without putting a new roll back on. Does that make sense? Is that weird? LOL...anyways...see you in 2 days...peace.
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Guest Writer #32: Mike Bibby
Hey friends, sorry for the wait...but we're back. December's almost in full swing...I know I usually try to do a thing where I post everyday in December, but the more I thought about it, the more it made me realize that when I do do that, the posts get really rushed and lack in quality, so at most I'm gonna try to do every other day, but we'll see how that goes.
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So I was scrolling down my ig dms, and I found this dm of mine (hundreds of weeks old) when I was in elementary school. So to give you some backdrop, when I was in elementary school, I had this hella big crush on girl. She was cute (still is), and you don’t understand how much I liked this girl LOL. Let’s call her Megan. I always tried to be around her and everything, lowkey was mostly friends with her best friend in order to see her. I liked her from like grade 6-8, and I finally got lucky and she was in my class in grade 8. Yo when I saw her name on the attendance list I was like freaking yelling, I was so excited. So back to the dm, it was like a 4 message dm, basically I didn’t know how to talk to her, and I would ask megan what homework we had in our classes, in order to gage conversation. LOOIL little me had no game. So side note, one of my friends, let’s call him Ben, was a hockey/ baseball player, he moved to my school in grade 7 and basically I introduced him to all his friends now. So fast forward to the end of the year, all my boys were hyping me up to ask this girl out for grad and dance but I pussied out so hard and never did it. So at grad I found out this man snaked me and he was dancing with her. When I saw that, my heart sank so hard bro I wanted to cry, legit felt like I was watching a sad wongfu romance video. Man I always thought what if I went for it? All these what if questions. Rod is right when he always talks about shooting your shot. Man I always have snakes as friends, smh. Screw Baseball and Hockey players. LOL. Hope you guys enjoyed this story. Peace.
Thursday, November 16, 2017
Vantage Point
So first things first, if you haven't already...do me a solid favour and fill out this google doc, it'll take less than 30 seconds and you're helping me with this project I'm doing for the blog...thanks!
We not return to our regularly scheduled program. So a vantage point is defined as a place or position affording a good view of something. So there's also a movie called Vantage Point, it's super dope, you should watch it. Pretty much the president of something gets assassinated and the movie is split into like 5-6 different parts, each part being somebody's perspective...so different witnesses, the president himself, his body guards, that kinda stuff. Which brings me to today's post. When I think about life in that kind of perspective...I'm always so mind blown and in awe. How one thing can happen, but people can view it in so many different ways. Whether you're looking at a picture or listening to someone tell you a story...each person has a different interpretation of what's in front of them...and that's super cool to me...to be able to say tell a story to different people and hear the different, contrasting perspectives...some in which I would have never thought of myself. Same thing goes for sharing your problems or getting advice from people...you can be like yeah so I'm going through this and this...and each person you tell will give you a different perspective and opinion on what they think you should do moving forward. That's also why I like and I encourage people to always search for second, third opinions when it comes to problems and advice...as well to try not to go to the same people over and over again, despite wanting to because of familiarity or cuz they're your best friend. Sometimes I'll go to the most randomest people and they'll offer insight and perspective in ways I would've never thought of. So yeah, that's just my little note on how everyone might see the same thing in front of them...but they all might interpret it super differently...and that's okay.
Thursday, November 09, 2017
From The Heart #2
Hey y'all...so I actually intended on writing about something completely different, but then this hit me...at like 4 am in the morning...and I just started writing...and writing. Maybe it's all the Sam Smith I've been listening to lately...which btw his album is so beautiful LOL. But yeah...I dunno what prompted me to even start reading that conversation...I mean like I've been having trouble sleeping, so I usually just go on my mind and just waste time...so yeah, rereading this now...it's funny...hella corny and emotional... but funny nonetheless...so yeah, here's me at 4 am in the morning, unfiltered..."uninterrupted"...shout out Lebron.
I’m a real bad hoarder, I can’t seem to throw things away. I give meaning and value to the most randomest things. The biggest one would be old texts, messages, cards, no matter who it’s from...old/former friends, exes, you name it. I remember countless times sitting in front of my computer reading old msn conversations. I remember being really sad when I lost my old phone because it had all the conversations with my ex. I can’t delete text conversations with certain people because I think to myself well what if I wanna go through it one day. And so here I am...4 am in the morning, rereading an old conversation with this girl I was dealing with, getting way too unnecessarily emotional. The first being joy and anxiousness, the good anxiousness, the butterflies of the first dates, the chase, the feeling out process. Then of course the nervousness of taking steps to further the relationship...entire days planned out, holding her hand, the literal game plan of how to go in for the first kiss LOOOOL. But as I keep reading the text messages, I start skimming more and more, as well skipping more and more as the final few emotions and the deja vu sinks in...confusion, sadness, regret...wondering what happened, what changed, what went wrong. Was it me, things were going so well...the up and down rush of emotions hit me like a whirlwind, but as it comes down...an emptiness kinda overtakes it all, as I stop scrolling and close the conversation, realizing and remember that it’s over. I honestly don’t know why I decided to write about this, I don’t even know if I’m gonna post this. I just started reading the conversation and felt compelled to write about it. I write this right now, feeling a lot of mixed emotions tbh, but this is as real and as raw as it gets I guess, no filter, just whatever words come to mind. Honestly I’ll probably read this tomorrow morning and be like dude what the heck is wrong with you...but that’s what makes this blog real I guess. Who knows how I’m feeling tomorrow when I read this and if I decide to post it, if I do, enjoy...you’ll probably get a good laugh out of it lol. \
To you, if this manages to reach you in some sort of capacity, I look forward to seeing if our paths cross once again in the future."
Wednesday, November 01, 2017
Shoot Your Shot
As a basketball player, I've always learned to shoot my shot. What does this mean...well it's this belief that I and I'm pretty sure most other shooters have that every shot they shoot is going in. Now as a shooter...you're gonna miss, but you keep shooting your shot. Ray Allen, one of the greatest shooters in NBA history said that despite missing a shot and even going 0-10 for example...he'd always believe that the next shot he shot was going to go in. Now any basketball player will tell you that for the most part...just cuz you miss, doesn't mean you stop shooting...yeah it might mean you need to take better shots, but you don't stop shooting. You don't get discouraged because everyone misses and eventually...the shot will go in, you just gotta keep shooting. If you stop at the first miss...then you prevent yourself from scoring. Let's bring that into the context of life. Simply put, if you don't shoot your shot, if you don't take a chance...you'll always wonder what if I had...and that's probably the worst feeling ever. Worse than missing a shot, worse than missing multiple shots...is not taking that shot and wondering if it would have gone in or not. Whether you're asking a girl out, applying for a job...or whatever it might be...rejection is a big part of life, it shouldn't stop you from constantly trying until you finally get it, y'feel? I can tell you stories on stories of me asking girls out that ether rejected me or it didn't work out. Similarly, I've been applying for so many jobs as of late and the majority of them haven't been replying to me...but that doesn't stop me from shooting my shot...better to apply and not hear back than to sit and not apply and wonder what would have happened if I did. Simply put, when you shoot your shot...it either goes in or it doesn't...you pick up the ball, you shoot your shot again. When you don't shoot...you'll never what would have happened if you did shoot your shot, you're preventing yourself from even trying. Don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying, embrace it, it's a healthy part of life...and it'll make it all the more worthwhile when you finally sink that shot and look back and all the shots you missed to get to this point...peace out, see you soon.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
Where's Your Focus?
“When you focus on the needs of others, God will prompt others to focus on your needs.”
That’s something that the speaker at my church retreat said and that I wrote down. I had intended on making a post about it eventually. Well I guess eventually has come...I was scrolling through the notes on my phone looking at all the half finished blog posts and other blog topics I had saved, this one stuck out. I feel like for a really long while...I’ve been really selfish, for good reason I guess. I just feel like I haven’t been motivated lately, I feel like my life’s lacking direction and that I’ve been in a real bad funk. I’ve been telling myself to really focus on my own well being and better my state of mine. So it’s funny that as I was looking through potential blog posts on my phone, I stumbled on this. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Specifically reaching out to people, checking up on people and just connecting or reconnecting with people. It’s something I’ve went back and forth about, but maybe this is a sign. For the most part, the friends that I meet up with occasionally, it’s always a good time and the conversations are always genuine and very enjoyable. Rereading what that pastor said is really hitting me, how maybe I’ve been neglecting others and been too focused on myself, to no avail lol. I feel like God's been really pushing me to reach out to certain people. And I have faith that as I focus on others, God will prompt others to focus on me.
That’s something that the speaker at my church retreat said and that I wrote down. I had intended on making a post about it eventually. Well I guess eventually has come...I was scrolling through the notes on my phone looking at all the half finished blog posts and other blog topics I had saved, this one stuck out. I feel like for a really long while...I’ve been really selfish, for good reason I guess. I just feel like I haven’t been motivated lately, I feel like my life’s lacking direction and that I’ve been in a real bad funk. I’ve been telling myself to really focus on my own well being and better my state of mine. So it’s funny that as I was looking through potential blog posts on my phone, I stumbled on this. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Specifically reaching out to people, checking up on people and just connecting or reconnecting with people. It’s something I’ve went back and forth about, but maybe this is a sign. For the most part, the friends that I meet up with occasionally, it’s always a good time and the conversations are always genuine and very enjoyable. Rereading what that pastor said is really hitting me, how maybe I’ve been neglecting others and been too focused on myself, to no avail lol. I feel like God's been really pushing me to reach out to certain people. And I have faith that as I focus on others, God will prompt others to focus on me.
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
When You Feel The Pressure...
I really enjoy watching vlogs, it lets me live vicariously through whoever it is I’m watching lol, but I’ll save that for another post. So I was watching Complex magazine’s vlogs and the dude who does it always closes the vlogs out with some sort of inspiring or encouraging message from either himself or one of his coworkers. So this one dude said “when you feel the pressure, just remember pressure makes diamonds”. It reminded me of my first tattoo...about trials and temptations. That...well they’re a part of life, necessary to prune and shape us into whoever we’re meant to be. It’s something that never ceases to amaze me and remind me that hard times are a part of life...necessary to shape us and give us wisdom, hopefully lol. Hard times and struggles allow us to fail, learn about ourselves and put to practice things we’ve learned from previous failures. I love using the rollercoaster analogy cuz how fun would a rollercoaster that only goes down be? It’s the up that makes the down more enjoyable...similarly in life it’s the failures that make the triumphs and victories so much more sweet. I know I sound like a broken record, but sometimes you just need these simple reminders...that life is going to be hard, and that’s okay...that you’re going to fail smetimes, but that’s okay too. It’s all meant to push you forward in this walk of life...I hope this reaches you well as it did me, till next time...peace.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Guest Writer #31: WG
Wow it's been a while since the last guest post, I've missed these, probably one of my favourite kinds of posts on this blog...so with that, enjoy...
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Who Knows If They Will Still Be Together?
There are a few of them left. Each clinging to something so little of the ruins that was once thriving. Maybe the ones who are no longer here felt something. Maybe those are the lucky ones who have escaped. Maybe they’re still in the same dump as everyone else but in a masked environment; it just hasn’t happened in their district yet. They walk into a shelter, footsteps treading lightly on the rubble underneath. There’s presence lingering here; spirits crashing into walls unable to go back to their lifeless bodies that are on the ground. The stagnant air is familiar; ironically, it preserves everything that should be rotting away. In the distance, they can hear screams and yelling. Laughter is also heard; it’s as if they were standing on the other side of a drunken debacle but nothing’s there. Whispers echo throughout the eerie hallways as they trudge through the mess that’s left here. Several chiefs have led this population and all of them have failed. Abandonment came from the very last. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing; he made so many false promises that the population chose to rebel. Who wanted to follow an inconsistent disreputable bastard of a man? People left forgetting others who are still here. Hopefully to better places but permanently shutting out their past. Over the years, they’ve found other misfits. Together they know what this could’ve been; a lively flourishing haven. There are a few of them left. Each clinging to something so little of the ruins that was once thriving. They close their eyes and take a deep breath. Uncertainty looms over as another Sunday passes by.
-WG
Wednesday, October 04, 2017
From The Heart #1
A long time ago, I used to do these posts called From The Heart and title it something like “Parents”, “Friends” or “Relatinships”. I would just talk...about my thoughts and feelings towards certain topics. As of late, I’ve been in a real rut in my life, I can’t seem to get over this hump, I’m not too sure what it is exactly, but I’ve been feeling hella unmotivated. I’ve been so caught up with trying to put out blog posts, quality content and funny/interesting stories that I sometimes forget it’s okay to keep it simple and just talk to you guys. I feel like as of late, I’ve really closed off my social circle. That is there’s only a handful of people I keep in constant communication with. I somewhat enjoy it to be honest, it’s comfortable and it’s familiar. I kinda wanna get back to just talking to you guys, at least once in a while...that’s why this is the first installment of what hopefully will be more posts “From The Heart”. 25 is an extremely weird age to be at...I’m not really a kid but I don’t really feel like an adult either. It makes it more confusing in that one of my groups of friends consists of dudes I went to high school with, all the same age as me whereas my other group of friends consists of kids who are much younger than me, again two very differing sides. It’s kinda like I’m stuck in limbo, in this grey area of what am I doing with my life and what stage of life am I even in? Usually I’d illustrate something to you guys like oh imagine me stuck at a crossroads with multiple pathways and I don’t know which one to take, but it’s far from that right now. For one, I feel like I’m not even moving, I feel like I’ve been stagnant in a lot of parts in my life. Besides not moving, I feel like I can’t even see any pathways in front of me, I just see a lot of fog and cloud, I don’t know where I am, where I’m going or if I’m even in the right place or direction...which kinda reinforces me not moving. That’s kinda where my life is at right now lol, it’s pretty...lackadaisical. Yeah...I’ll see you soon, peace.
P.S. If you’re really interested in finding those “From The Heart” posts, you just gotta type in ‘from the Heart’ in the search bar, there’s a lot of them.
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
How Do You Know She's The One?
Geez, so I finished writing this and read it over...another lengthy post, sorry...I'm honestly gonna do my best to try to cut them down but I have a real bad tendency to ramble...like right now...lol, sorry...enjoy.
How do you know that someone is the one for you? That's a question that has had to have crossed your mind about your current or past relationships at some point, otherwise I would seriously question why you were or are in that relationship in the first place. I'm not sure if there is a concrete answer to this question, it's very opinion based and you'll probably hear different answers depending on who you ask. For me, I think part of it is just being around that person for a long enough period of time. With that, I don't think couples should get married without at least dating for one year because...well y'all don't know each other. That being said, I do know couples who have gotten married while dating much less than one year, to each his own. But I mean, how well can you really know somebody in such a short period of time? It's not just their personality or their likes and dislikes...it's their weird quirks, habits, tendencies or random things they may do in the privacy and comfortableness of their own space. I also wrote this post about strengthening or exposing your friendships and relationships, you can read that over here. One thing I talk about is arguments, how arguments can make or break a relationship. Arguments let you see how people handle conflicts and future conflicts. It lets you know if you guys have chemistry or are the kind of couple to butt heads a lot. It lets you see a side of the other person you might not normally see. That being said, there are some friendships I have where we argue a lot, but I also have some friendships where we hardly argue at all...and despite me saying arguments are healthy, some relationships work so well that arguments rarely happen. So yeah, part of knowing someone is the one is just experience, being around them for a long enough period of time. I remember a few girls telling me like oh why is the guy so nervous when he proposes. If you know the girl well enough and have been together with her long enough, it shouldn't even be a question, you should already know what her answer is, the nerves should only be from asking her, which shouldn't even be a thing cuz it's such a happy moment. So many times you'll hear guys go oh wow I'm so nervous, what if she says no? I whole heartedly agree with that point, like yo if you've been dating for x amount of years or if you say you know her as well as you say you do, it shouldn't even be a question lol. I went back and thought about a conversation I had with somebody I look up to, how he told me he was getting a divorce, and something he realized was that they never loved each other...that the spark that was there when they first started dating went downhill once they got married and only got married because they had a kid, which was hella sad to hear. Which brings me to my next point, part of knowing somebody is the one or trying to find the one is trial and error. I know people who've never dated and once that first guy/girl came along...it was like alright they HAVE to be the one. Like wait what, you've never been in a relationship how can you say that so fast? They're like well, if it took this long for someone to come along, they've got to be the one right? Wrong. I think the more people I interact with, the more girls I go out with, the more I learn about myself. Who I am as a person, the kind of people I like to be around, the kinda girls I'm into, and I wouldn't have learned any of that without putting myself out there to meet people, be in different groups of friends and meet different girls. If you're in a relationship right now...whether a couple weeks, months or years...I want you to ask yourself this question. Do you think that your significant other is the one? How do you know? If you haven't asked yourself that question at any point in your relationship, I'd say you're either still in the beginning stages or "honeymoon" stage of your relationship...or maybe it's just not that serious. Cuz isn't any relationship, like a race...to get to the finish line? Lastly...I just wanted to say that the final part of knowing if somebody is the one is faith...specifically a leap of faith. Cuz honestly, you're not going to know 100% if somebody is the one for you, no matter if you're been together for 3 months or 10 years. Once you're confident and set that this person is the one, you've been together for whatever you consider a good enough amount of time, you know him/her as best as you possibly can...that's when you take that leap of faith and hope that they are the one. So yeah, with that...peace out friends.
How do you know that someone is the one for you? That's a question that has had to have crossed your mind about your current or past relationships at some point, otherwise I would seriously question why you were or are in that relationship in the first place. I'm not sure if there is a concrete answer to this question, it's very opinion based and you'll probably hear different answers depending on who you ask. For me, I think part of it is just being around that person for a long enough period of time. With that, I don't think couples should get married without at least dating for one year because...well y'all don't know each other. That being said, I do know couples who have gotten married while dating much less than one year, to each his own. But I mean, how well can you really know somebody in such a short period of time? It's not just their personality or their likes and dislikes...it's their weird quirks, habits, tendencies or random things they may do in the privacy and comfortableness of their own space. I also wrote this post about strengthening or exposing your friendships and relationships, you can read that over here. One thing I talk about is arguments, how arguments can make or break a relationship. Arguments let you see how people handle conflicts and future conflicts. It lets you know if you guys have chemistry or are the kind of couple to butt heads a lot. It lets you see a side of the other person you might not normally see. That being said, there are some friendships I have where we argue a lot, but I also have some friendships where we hardly argue at all...and despite me saying arguments are healthy, some relationships work so well that arguments rarely happen. So yeah, part of knowing someone is the one is just experience, being around them for a long enough period of time. I remember a few girls telling me like oh why is the guy so nervous when he proposes. If you know the girl well enough and have been together with her long enough, it shouldn't even be a question, you should already know what her answer is, the nerves should only be from asking her, which shouldn't even be a thing cuz it's such a happy moment. So many times you'll hear guys go oh wow I'm so nervous, what if she says no? I whole heartedly agree with that point, like yo if you've been dating for x amount of years or if you say you know her as well as you say you do, it shouldn't even be a question lol. I went back and thought about a conversation I had with somebody I look up to, how he told me he was getting a divorce, and something he realized was that they never loved each other...that the spark that was there when they first started dating went downhill once they got married and only got married because they had a kid, which was hella sad to hear. Which brings me to my next point, part of knowing somebody is the one or trying to find the one is trial and error. I know people who've never dated and once that first guy/girl came along...it was like alright they HAVE to be the one. Like wait what, you've never been in a relationship how can you say that so fast? They're like well, if it took this long for someone to come along, they've got to be the one right? Wrong. I think the more people I interact with, the more girls I go out with, the more I learn about myself. Who I am as a person, the kind of people I like to be around, the kinda girls I'm into, and I wouldn't have learned any of that without putting myself out there to meet people, be in different groups of friends and meet different girls. If you're in a relationship right now...whether a couple weeks, months or years...I want you to ask yourself this question. Do you think that your significant other is the one? How do you know? If you haven't asked yourself that question at any point in your relationship, I'd say you're either still in the beginning stages or "honeymoon" stage of your relationship...or maybe it's just not that serious. Cuz isn't any relationship, like a race...to get to the finish line? Lastly...I just wanted to say that the final part of knowing if somebody is the one is faith...specifically a leap of faith. Cuz honestly, you're not going to know 100% if somebody is the one for you, no matter if you're been together for 3 months or 10 years. Once you're confident and set that this person is the one, you've been together for whatever you consider a good enough amount of time, you know him/her as best as you possibly can...that's when you take that leap of faith and hope that they are the one. So yeah, with that...peace out friends.
Sunday, September 24, 2017
What You Say vs How You Say It
Wow, it feels like I haven't talked to y'all in months, but in actuality its only been 2 weeks. Let me start off by saying that I feel like how you say something is just as if not more important than what you're actually saying. Tone is very important...that's how a lot of messages get misinterpreted. You can say something nice to somebody, but if you say it in a rude way, it's gonna be taken negatively. I had a friend go up to another friend and go wow, your singing was really good today...but his tone didn't sound sincere even though he was, so my friend who received the compliment goes are you being sarcastic? That's just a small example of how saying something nice but in a bad tone can be interpreted differently. On the flip side, you can say something mean but in a nice tone and people wouldn't even realize it...like take roasting for example...whether about someone's clothes, looks, it's all in your tone right...I can go to my friend and be like WOW, you look horrible today...but if I say it in a joking, jolly manner...he'll probably laugh it off y'know? I'm gonna share with y'all three instances that kinda inspired this post, but I'm gonna try my best to keep it short as well.
1) So I played softball this season and we hopped diamonds a lot of cuz they would be taken a lot of the times. So one day, we go to this diamond and another team comes up to us and go oh we've been at this diamond for a couple years now, we don't own it, but it would be common courtesy for you guys to essentially give us the diamond. Now what I just said didn't seem too rude, but the guy who I was talking to was hella rude, understandably stressed for having to deal with this...but he was also forceful and wouldn't let me get a word in. He kept bringing up common courtesy and respect...and I said to him okay, if you expect respect, you should be giving me the same by letting me talk instead of cutting me off every chance you get, you don't own the diamond...ESPECIALLY when you want something from someone, a favour, whatever it may be...TONE becomes extremely key. You don't get in someone's face and expect respect if you aren't willing to show that same respect backward.s. So an hour later a different guy approaches me and we talk about the same thing, but in a very calm, back and forth conversation. I told him, listen...I respect you coming here and having a civilized conversation with me, the other guy came and was whining like a baby, not letting me talk, I get he's stressed, but that's not how you talk to people. I told him it's not my wish to cause trouble and I'd have gladly gave him the diamond for future use if he had talked to my civilly and like a human being. So that was that, the second guy was cool and I decided to leave at that and give them that diamond.
2) Wow that first one was longer than expected. So this second one was like a week or so ago...I went to Starbucks with a friend and after a while we decided to switch to another coffee shop across the street for better wifi. We sat down and didn't buy anything, our bad obviously but I didn't wanna spend more money, my bad also cuz my Starbucks cup was on the table. We were sitting outside and after a couple minutes, this guy comes out and goes oh you can't have that cup here, I'm like oh okay, sorry, you want me to throw it out? He's like no, I think you better leave. Not wanting to start trouble, I'm like oh okay...I get it, but then he goes, can I get you anything? I'm like uh...yeah nah, I'm good. He's like alright, I think you better leave then. Part of me wanting to kick the table over right in front of him. I get it, our bad, it's not cool to chill and just not buy anything...but like don't talk to me like that then ask me if I wanna buy anything...like that's not you talk to customers and that's definitely not how you get people to buy your product.
3) This one happened today actually, which kinda triggered this whole post and reminded me of it. So I walk into this meeting late cuz my ride and everyone wanted to get drinks, so I had to wait, regardless of it I got a drink or not. I sit down with my boy and I take out my phone to look at it and this guy goes hey, can you put your phone away, you're already half an hour late. Like okay dad...first of all, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid. I'm just gonna keep it at that cuz I really wanted to go off on him then and now...but it ain't worth it. Bottom line is, how you speak to people is important. If you had whispered to me to put my phone away, or did it in a subtle way, that'd have been cool...but you somehow always gotta make it seem like you're an alpha eh, that's all I gotta say, watch your tone. Just like that dude at the softball diamond or the coffee shop owner...how you say things dictates you someone responds to you, it dictates the mood of the situation and conversation. In all three situations, if the softball dude, the coffee shop owner or this guy spoke to me differently, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did and am right now. Obviously I'm not saying I handle situations perfectly either, these are just some examples, I'm giving from my life...that people have thrown at me, that reminded me how important it is to watch HOW you say things to people and not just WHAT you say to them. I know this post has been a bit long...but it's been two weeks, I got a lot to catch up on lol, peace.
1) So I played softball this season and we hopped diamonds a lot of cuz they would be taken a lot of the times. So one day, we go to this diamond and another team comes up to us and go oh we've been at this diamond for a couple years now, we don't own it, but it would be common courtesy for you guys to essentially give us the diamond. Now what I just said didn't seem too rude, but the guy who I was talking to was hella rude, understandably stressed for having to deal with this...but he was also forceful and wouldn't let me get a word in. He kept bringing up common courtesy and respect...and I said to him okay, if you expect respect, you should be giving me the same by letting me talk instead of cutting me off every chance you get, you don't own the diamond...ESPECIALLY when you want something from someone, a favour, whatever it may be...TONE becomes extremely key. You don't get in someone's face and expect respect if you aren't willing to show that same respect backward.s. So an hour later a different guy approaches me and we talk about the same thing, but in a very calm, back and forth conversation. I told him, listen...I respect you coming here and having a civilized conversation with me, the other guy came and was whining like a baby, not letting me talk, I get he's stressed, but that's not how you talk to people. I told him it's not my wish to cause trouble and I'd have gladly gave him the diamond for future use if he had talked to my civilly and like a human being. So that was that, the second guy was cool and I decided to leave at that and give them that diamond.
2) Wow that first one was longer than expected. So this second one was like a week or so ago...I went to Starbucks with a friend and after a while we decided to switch to another coffee shop across the street for better wifi. We sat down and didn't buy anything, our bad obviously but I didn't wanna spend more money, my bad also cuz my Starbucks cup was on the table. We were sitting outside and after a couple minutes, this guy comes out and goes oh you can't have that cup here, I'm like oh okay, sorry, you want me to throw it out? He's like no, I think you better leave. Not wanting to start trouble, I'm like oh okay...I get it, but then he goes, can I get you anything? I'm like uh...yeah nah, I'm good. He's like alright, I think you better leave then. Part of me wanting to kick the table over right in front of him. I get it, our bad, it's not cool to chill and just not buy anything...but like don't talk to me like that then ask me if I wanna buy anything...like that's not you talk to customers and that's definitely not how you get people to buy your product.
3) This one happened today actually, which kinda triggered this whole post and reminded me of it. So I walk into this meeting late cuz my ride and everyone wanted to get drinks, so I had to wait, regardless of it I got a drink or not. I sit down with my boy and I take out my phone to look at it and this guy goes hey, can you put your phone away, you're already half an hour late. Like okay dad...first of all, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid. I'm just gonna keep it at that cuz I really wanted to go off on him then and now...but it ain't worth it. Bottom line is, how you speak to people is important. If you had whispered to me to put my phone away, or did it in a subtle way, that'd have been cool...but you somehow always gotta make it seem like you're an alpha eh, that's all I gotta say, watch your tone. Just like that dude at the softball diamond or the coffee shop owner...how you say things dictates you someone responds to you, it dictates the mood of the situation and conversation. In all three situations, if the softball dude, the coffee shop owner or this guy spoke to me differently, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did and am right now. Obviously I'm not saying I handle situations perfectly either, these are just some examples, I'm giving from my life...that people have thrown at me, that reminded me how important it is to watch HOW you say things to people and not just WHAT you say to them. I know this post has been a bit long...but it's been two weeks, I got a lot to catch up on lol, peace.
Sunday, September 10, 2017
It's Not Me, It's You
So I was driving a couple of days ago and was suddenly hit with a bunch of thoughts, a bunch of emotions...and I had to write it all down on my phone before I forgot cuz I was like wow this is such a dope topic for the blog. So I'm literally driving, obvs with my head up and focusing on the road...but I\m like texting on my phone on the notes app LOL...I'm like typing down all my thoughts and all the things I wanna talk about so I don't forget and once I get to a red light, I look at it and for the most part, it's pretty legible and easy to understand lol, so I quickly finish it up and here we go lol.
I think for both guys and girls...when you like somebody and say they don't like you back or things just don't get up working out...the first question we tend to ask is well what happened? How come they don't like me or how come it didn't work out? Did I do something? Was it me? And the more I sat in my car and thought about it...the more I thought about all the girls I liked....that either didn't like me back or that just didn't seem to work out. It made me think...dang...all these girls and relationships that just didn't work out...is it me? What's wrong with me? Why does this keep happening? I for once start thinking about myself, my personality, my approach and all that stuff...well maybe I'm too forward, maybe I need to change this about myself or change that about myself. Then the more I thought about it...I was like wait...that it's not me, it's YOU. Now hold up...lemme clarify before you go off on me and be like wow Rodmond, you're not all that. What I mean...is like when a girl doesn't like me or when things just don't end up working out...I tend to start looking at myself...and seeing well what can I change or improve about myself to make girls like me, to make sure things work out next time. And the more I thought about it...that's a terrible way to approach things. Like wow, she didn't like me cuz I was too nice, alright time to be a dick. Wow she didn''t like me because I wasn't into this hobby, time to learn everything I can about it so she'll like me. I guess what I'm trying to say is...personality wise, trait wise, character wise...it's not me, it's you. You...me...we shouldn't have to change ourselves, our personalities or force something to get someone to like us y'feel. As cliche as it sounds,be yourself. That's what I mean when I say it's not me, it's you. It's you because you just aren't the one for me, it's you because we just don't have that chemistry, we don't match well together, and that's okay...what's not okay is changing yourself to fit another person. I thought about it like a puzzle...if every single person is an individual puzzle peace...say you go out with a girl and it doesn't work out or she doesn't like you back...you don't cut the corners of the puzzle piece, you don't try to jam it into another puzzle piece...you find the puzzle piece that it actually fits into. And that's kinda how I'm seeing this right now...you shouldn't change your personality or force yourself to fit into someone else's mold...you just keep swimming until you find that other puzzle piece that fits you and vice versa. I say this because as I was thinking about al the girls that didn't like me back or didn't work out...it really made me feel bad, it really made me feel like something was wrong with me, that there was something I needed to change about myself or add to myself as a person...and it shouldn't be like that...for anybody. Your perfect or at least close to perfect puzzle piece is somewhere out there...you just have to have the patience and persistence to find it. Peace out.
I think for both guys and girls...when you like somebody and say they don't like you back or things just don't get up working out...the first question we tend to ask is well what happened? How come they don't like me or how come it didn't work out? Did I do something? Was it me? And the more I sat in my car and thought about it...the more I thought about all the girls I liked....that either didn't like me back or that just didn't seem to work out. It made me think...dang...all these girls and relationships that just didn't work out...is it me? What's wrong with me? Why does this keep happening? I for once start thinking about myself, my personality, my approach and all that stuff...well maybe I'm too forward, maybe I need to change this about myself or change that about myself. Then the more I thought about it...I was like wait...that it's not me, it's YOU. Now hold up...lemme clarify before you go off on me and be like wow Rodmond, you're not all that. What I mean...is like when a girl doesn't like me or when things just don't end up working out...I tend to start looking at myself...and seeing well what can I change or improve about myself to make girls like me, to make sure things work out next time. And the more I thought about it...that's a terrible way to approach things. Like wow, she didn't like me cuz I was too nice, alright time to be a dick. Wow she didn''t like me because I wasn't into this hobby, time to learn everything I can about it so she'll like me. I guess what I'm trying to say is...personality wise, trait wise, character wise...it's not me, it's you. You...me...we shouldn't have to change ourselves, our personalities or force something to get someone to like us y'feel. As cliche as it sounds,be yourself. That's what I mean when I say it's not me, it's you. It's you because you just aren't the one for me, it's you because we just don't have that chemistry, we don't match well together, and that's okay...what's not okay is changing yourself to fit another person. I thought about it like a puzzle...if every single person is an individual puzzle peace...say you go out with a girl and it doesn't work out or she doesn't like you back...you don't cut the corners of the puzzle piece, you don't try to jam it into another puzzle piece...you find the puzzle piece that it actually fits into. And that's kinda how I'm seeing this right now...you shouldn't change your personality or force yourself to fit into someone else's mold...you just keep swimming until you find that other puzzle piece that fits you and vice versa. I say this because as I was thinking about al the girls that didn't like me back or didn't work out...it really made me feel bad, it really made me feel like something was wrong with me, that there was something I needed to change about myself or add to myself as a person...and it shouldn't be like that...for anybody. Your perfect or at least close to perfect puzzle piece is somewhere out there...you just have to have the patience and persistence to find it. Peace out.
Thursday, September 07, 2017
Expectations vs Reality
Yo shoutout to my barber one time for inspiring me to write about this after the conversation we had. So he makes music and we were talking about how you have to be adaptable. How you truly have to love what you do and do it because of that and not because of the views or because you want to blow up or because of what people think. Perspectives are always differing and when you start doing something like music for the people, you set yourself up for disappointment. When you start doing it for the attention and the views is when you start losing motivation, that's kinda what sometimes happens to me with this blog. As a musician or a blogger...everything that I write, that I post...I think is dope, I think is quality and good content, otherwise I wouldn't post it. But not everyone who reads my posts will think the same way. Some posts that I write and post, people may think wow this is hella boring, wow this is garbage or wow this is poorly written. If I did it solely for the sake of people's opinions and thoughts, it could become hella demoralizing. In the same way, there are some posts I work really hard on and spend a lot of time on...in my head I'm like ALRIGHT, I know this post is gonna blow up, people are gonna love it...and sometimes, they don't end up feeling that way. On the flip side, sometimes I gingerly write a quick post with little thought and it does really well or gets a lot of views. You kinda see how if I did it solely for the views and people's attention how it could be super draining for me. In the same way I was telling my barber, every song you make, you think this is the one, this is a banger...but sometimes it's not always the case. Even the most popular artists you'll hear them talk about oh, this song on the album is my favourite or oh this song on the album means the most to me...and you'll be like what I never heard of that song or wow I would've never guessed. It's just interesting, cuz sometimes I get so caught up in trying to make the right post...the "right" post...that'll catch people's attention, that'll entertain people...that when it doesn't do as well as I had hoped, I get disappointed. I just gotta remind myself to do this all for myself...that everything else that comes along with it is just bonus. On that note...shoutout to my barber again for that reminder...and here's a link to what I think is his dopest song...give it a listen!
Monday, August 28, 2017
Top 5: First Date Tips
Hey so remember like a month ago when I was like yeah...I'm gonna start doing these a top 10 list kinda thing each week or at least as consistently as I'll try to be...yeah, I don't remember that either LOL. But I was serious about WANTING to do it, that's for sure. One thing I've realized after experiencing it myself when reading other people\s blogs is that WOW, long posts are HELLA boring...okay not entirely, but I mean I've noticed when posts are super long, I usually skim through or read very quickly...unless the title or content is VERY interesting, most of the time...as I'm sure you've probably done to long posts on this blog...we skim or skip cuz...it's too long fam. So that's why I decided to cut the Top 10 into a Top 5. I've never considered myself a ladies man, but I've been on my share of first dates and I've also been on my share of second dates, so I'd like to think I'm doing something right lol, but then again this is all subjective, everyone is different. These are just my opinions and some tips that may or may not help you. Boys, feel free to take notes...girls, feel free to make a checklist for your next first date.
First dates are really important...it determines if there'll be a second date and it also determines if there's potential in this pairing. So yeah, here are 5 (hopefully) helpful tips for y'all.
1. SET THE TONE
Setting the kind of tone you want during your first date is very important. Setting the tone includes things like what you're wearing, where you're going and what you're doing. My opinion on setting the tone is to keep things as light and as casual as possible. First dates are like getting your feet wet, when you're at the pool or the beach, you don't jump into the water right away...you dip your feet into the water to see how cold or hot it is...you're feeling it out, same thing for first dates. You don't wanna be too serious too fast. As for attire, even tho we're keeping in casual, try to look nice..clean up a bit, dress for the occasion. I've never been a fan of movies or loud places for first dates. First of all, you don't talk during the movies...and isn't that the point of the date, to get to know the girl? As for loud places...well you won't be able to hear each other. I personally enjoy going for bubble tea, coffee, dessert, something where it's chill and y'all can get to know each other. I specifically say these things instead of lunch or dinner because they're light hearted, you can grab them to go, it's just a chill atmosphere where as with lunch or dinner, there's lots of room for awkwardness and silence. If you wanna spruce it up a bit...activities are always good for first dates, depending on your date of course. Mini golf. pool, pottery, painting, rock climbing, parks...all these things create distraction and eliminate the dead space y'feel...you're always doing something and there's so much room for conversation along the way. Whether you're already friends or she's a stranger, setting the setting the tone is very important.
2. PAY FOR THE BILL
Wow so tip 1 was a lot longer than I had hoped, but it is the most important and the rest of these tips all coincide with setting the tone, so in trying to keep this post short, the rest of these will hopefully not be as long. But yeah pay the bill (you may or may not agree with this)...this coincides with tip 1. The more casual, the more cost efficient it'll also likely to be. You asked her out (most likely), now if she declines and offers to pay, ISSA TRAP, jokes, but kindly refuse and be a good guy. Now if she REEEEALLY insists on paying, good luck with that one LOL. For girls...despite what I said in this tip...still offer to pay, it's common courtesy you know. I had one girl LITERALLY slide me the bill when it came...that was the last time we spoke LOL. Ladies, if he asks to split the bill. he's probably not a real one, nor is into you unfortunately.
3. BE CHIVALROUS
Chivalry is not dead my friends. I'm serious, don't laugh. My first date with this one girl...I waited outside my car, she came out and I opened the door for her and she was like wow no one's ever done that for me before. At the end of the night, walk her to the door fam, I don't care if it's right there...it leaves room for you to try to hold her hand, maybe go for that first kiss...think about it. If not (which I highly recommend you do), AT LEAST, wait until she goes inside before zooming away...so many times I've seen guys drive away before the girl or anybody they're driving home is inside yet...that's irresponsible. ALWAYS be prepared...this means umbrellas, long sleeves or jackets in case it rains or she gets cold...those kinda things. It was raining one night and so I walked up to my date's door with an umbrella and walked her to my car and opened it for her as she got in. Little things matter boys...be a gentleman, not a dick.
4. LISTEN MORE THAN YOU SPEAK
Girls in general like a good listener, I've learned that first hand. Listen intentionally.What does that mean? With purpose...listen because you care and want to know. Not like when your parents tell you to clean your room, you're listening, but you don't really care. Little details are important my friends. I can't tell you the amount of times I've brought up random little details about my dates or random girl friends and they went wow, I can't believe you remembered that or hit me with an aww that's so sweet you remembered. Little details are key my friends...and that comes when you listen to what they are saying intently and purposefully.
5. BE YOURSELF
Lastly boys...and girls, be yourself...forreal. It'll help the filter process for one. You'll also see if there's any potential in this. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, to like something you don't...you're only setting yourself up for failure down the line. If you're real...as weird, dumb, stupid or lame as you might be...if she likes you, at least she likes you for you...and not cuz you pretended to be like this or to like this. That goes for any kind of relationship or friendship...be yourself, it's too underrated nowadays.
I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining for y'all...I did my best to keep it on the shorter side...hope you enjoyed reading this, till next time...peace out,
First dates are really important...it determines if there'll be a second date and it also determines if there's potential in this pairing. So yeah, here are 5 (hopefully) helpful tips for y'all.
1. SET THE TONE
Setting the kind of tone you want during your first date is very important. Setting the tone includes things like what you're wearing, where you're going and what you're doing. My opinion on setting the tone is to keep things as light and as casual as possible. First dates are like getting your feet wet, when you're at the pool or the beach, you don't jump into the water right away...you dip your feet into the water to see how cold or hot it is...you're feeling it out, same thing for first dates. You don't wanna be too serious too fast. As for attire, even tho we're keeping in casual, try to look nice..clean up a bit, dress for the occasion. I've never been a fan of movies or loud places for first dates. First of all, you don't talk during the movies...and isn't that the point of the date, to get to know the girl? As for loud places...well you won't be able to hear each other. I personally enjoy going for bubble tea, coffee, dessert, something where it's chill and y'all can get to know each other. I specifically say these things instead of lunch or dinner because they're light hearted, you can grab them to go, it's just a chill atmosphere where as with lunch or dinner, there's lots of room for awkwardness and silence. If you wanna spruce it up a bit...activities are always good for first dates, depending on your date of course. Mini golf. pool, pottery, painting, rock climbing, parks...all these things create distraction and eliminate the dead space y'feel...you're always doing something and there's so much room for conversation along the way. Whether you're already friends or she's a stranger, setting the setting the tone is very important.
2. PAY FOR THE BILL
Wow so tip 1 was a lot longer than I had hoped, but it is the most important and the rest of these tips all coincide with setting the tone, so in trying to keep this post short, the rest of these will hopefully not be as long. But yeah pay the bill (you may or may not agree with this)...this coincides with tip 1. The more casual, the more cost efficient it'll also likely to be. You asked her out (most likely), now if she declines and offers to pay, ISSA TRAP, jokes, but kindly refuse and be a good guy. Now if she REEEEALLY insists on paying, good luck with that one LOL. For girls...despite what I said in this tip...still offer to pay, it's common courtesy you know. I had one girl LITERALLY slide me the bill when it came...that was the last time we spoke LOL. Ladies, if he asks to split the bill. he's probably not a real one, nor is into you unfortunately.
3. BE CHIVALROUS
Chivalry is not dead my friends. I'm serious, don't laugh. My first date with this one girl...I waited outside my car, she came out and I opened the door for her and she was like wow no one's ever done that for me before. At the end of the night, walk her to the door fam, I don't care if it's right there...it leaves room for you to try to hold her hand, maybe go for that first kiss...think about it. If not (which I highly recommend you do), AT LEAST, wait until she goes inside before zooming away...so many times I've seen guys drive away before the girl or anybody they're driving home is inside yet...that's irresponsible. ALWAYS be prepared...this means umbrellas, long sleeves or jackets in case it rains or she gets cold...those kinda things. It was raining one night and so I walked up to my date's door with an umbrella and walked her to my car and opened it for her as she got in. Little things matter boys...be a gentleman, not a dick.
4. LISTEN MORE THAN YOU SPEAK
Girls in general like a good listener, I've learned that first hand. Listen intentionally.What does that mean? With purpose...listen because you care and want to know. Not like when your parents tell you to clean your room, you're listening, but you don't really care. Little details are important my friends. I can't tell you the amount of times I've brought up random little details about my dates or random girl friends and they went wow, I can't believe you remembered that or hit me with an aww that's so sweet you remembered. Little details are key my friends...and that comes when you listen to what they are saying intently and purposefully.
5. BE YOURSELF
Lastly boys...and girls, be yourself...forreal. It'll help the filter process for one. You'll also see if there's any potential in this. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, to like something you don't...you're only setting yourself up for failure down the line. If you're real...as weird, dumb, stupid or lame as you might be...if she likes you, at least she likes you for you...and not cuz you pretended to be like this or to like this. That goes for any kind of relationship or friendship...be yourself, it's too underrated nowadays.
I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining for y'all...I did my best to keep it on the shorter side...hope you enjoyed reading this, till next time...peace out,
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Are You A Supportive Friend?
Sometimes, I wonder and question if or how much of a supportive friend I am? What I mean by this? Well, when good things happen to your friends...what are your first thoughts? Do you get jealous, do you compare yourself, do you think that you could do/are better? Do you celebrate with them or are you secretly wishing/hoping they fail or fall? Say a friend gets good grades...are you happy for them, or do you compare yourself do them...do you say to yourself, oh I could do better. Similarly, if a friend gets a promotion or a new job...same thing, are you happy for them, or secretly wishing they don't succeed? As a supportive friend, your friend's triumphs...successes...should be your victories as well, they're your friend, they're like an extension of you, sorta. I think for me...one thing I always do is compare...which makes me wonder if I'm a supportive friend sometimes. If a friend gets a good grade, gets a job...my first instinct is to sometimes compare myself to them. I would hope you never wish your friends to fail or to fall...that's pretty terrible...and suspect. But I think it's pretty normal to compare yourself...especially to your friends because you're around them so much and they're part of your inner circle. But while saying that...I would say most times...I'm super happy for my friends...good grades, new job, girlfriend, whatever it might...for the most part, I'm usually super happy for my friends...especially when I get to see the journey that got to that point. But sometimes, you can't help but compare their victory to your own life...to your own wins and losses you know. I think that's fairly natural...but I would still consider myself a supportive friend. The friends that are real sneaky are the ones that are secretly wishing for your downfall, constantly comparing WITH the intention to do better, to surpass, to beat...y'feel? I think I more so compare in a sense of like oh wow, they're doing great, I wish I could do that or be like that...but the other side of the coin is more of a looking at them as competition that you HAVE to do better than. So yeah, I don't wanna ramble too much before I stop making sense...so yeah, I know it's been a while, what else is new, I'll see you soon, hopefully...peace out.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Finding Your Voice
Like I always share with you guys, I've always struggled with having a voice...or finding my voice in the crowd. I always say even in most of my circles of friends, I'm the quiet one...I guess part of that has shaped me into (I'd like to think) a good listener. I guess that's also why this blog has become such a special thing thing...place...for me. It's mine, it's my voice...being heard. It's my place to say whatever I want, to say the things I sometimes am scared to say or to say the things that people simply don't hear me say sometimes. In a crowd, in a group of friends...everyone's always talking...it's easy to accidentally neglect people, to not hear a voice. As of late, I've been having trouble finding my own voice...or at least hearing my own voice. I feel like I'm a person who\s easily influenced. When someone tells me their opinion about something...it like slowly starts becoming my own opinion...not my will, but I'm just like wow, that's a really good point, maybe they're right...and it starts to push my own voice aside. Does that kinda make sense? After graduating high school, I struggled for a long while figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I think that I've finally realized that I want to be a teacher (hence a bunch of old posts about teaching). But sometimes...I wonder if that's really my own voice, my own ideal. People are always like yeah yo Rodmond, you'd be a dope teacher, I can fully see you being a teacher, kids love you, you're so relatable. People at my church are like wow, you teacher Sunday school, you're so good with those kids, they really like you, you're meant to be a teacher. Then there's also my old teacher who's like YO, you're meant for this job, if you need ANYTHING, I will do everything in my power to help you get to where you wanna be. All these voices surrounding me are telling me one thing...sometimes, I lose track and lose hearing of my own voice. Well do I really wanna be a teacher? Is this really what I wanna do? Or is it because everyone is telling me I should do it, that I'd be good at it, that they can see me doing it that I begin to say to myself...well maybe they're right. That's kinda been my struggle for the longest time...figuring out what I wanna do with my life. Trying to find my own voice in the midst of all these other voices around me. It's hard with my personality...I like to accommodate, to compromise, to make sure everyone gets their word in...all that in itself makes it even harder sometimes to find and hear my own voice. It's something I'm working on, but it's just who I am. So yeah, there's really no conclusion to this...I'm still struggling to find my voice, to figure out exactly what it is that I want, and trying my best not to let the voices of others be the sole influence in my life...thanks for sticking with me through all these slow posts and days where there's nothing going on, I appreciate it, peace.
Sunday, August 06, 2017
400,000 VIEWS
Hey friends...I'm a little late, what else is new. But wow...400,000 views...that's...a little unreal and a tad bit unbelievable. I'm super blown away by the constant support from my friends and the people around me. Sometimes it makes me feel like this blog really has an impact on some people...when they tell me wow, I really relate to this post, wow it's like you read my mind, wow I really like when you said this or that...I love for that stuff, but I don't live for it that's for sure. It's been suuuuch a long journey...to think I've been doing this since high school. It's weird seeing the kiddies at my church who I've seen grow up from little kids all grown and getting ready to leave and start university...geez, can life slow down a bit please? But um, yeah...I don't have much to say...I can sit here all day and be like oh wow we've come so far, oh man this, that...but I won't. I'm very thankful...but the grind continues...I'm gonna continue striving to put out quality posts, dope content that hopefully you can relate to or at least entertain you. With that...I'll see you in another 100,000...catch you on the flip side...thank you, peace out.
Here's some behind the scenes from the MANY photos my friends helped me take that didn't end up on my instagram. Shoutouts to my boys Josh and Gerald for the help, love you guys.
Here's some behind the scenes from the MANY photos my friends helped me take that didn't end up on my instagram. Shoutouts to my boys Josh and Gerald for the help, love you guys.
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