Finding Your Voice

Like I always share with you guys, I've always struggled with having a voice...or finding my voice in the crowd. I always say even in most of my circles of friends, I'm the quiet one...I guess part of that has shaped me into (I'd like to think) a good listener. I guess that's also why this blog has become such a special thing thing...place...for me. It's mine, it's my voice...being heard. It's my place to say whatever I want, to say the things I sometimes am scared to say or to say the things that people simply don't hear me say sometimes. In a crowd, in a group of friends...everyone's always talking...it's easy to accidentally neglect people, to not hear a voice. As of late, I've been having trouble finding my own voice...or at least hearing my own voice. I feel like I'm a person who\s easily influenced. When someone tells me their opinion about something...it like slowly starts becoming my own opinion...not my will, but I'm just like wow, that's a really good point, maybe they're right...and it starts to push my own voice aside. Does that kinda make sense? After graduating high school, I struggled for a long while figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I think that I've finally realized that I want to be a teacher (hence a bunch of old posts about teaching). But sometimes...I wonder if that's really my own voice, my own ideal. People are always like yeah yo Rodmond, you'd be a dope teacher, I can fully see you being a teacher, kids love you, you're so relatable. People at my church are like wow, you teacher Sunday school, you're so good with those kids, they really like you, you're meant to be a teacher. Then there's also my old teacher who's like YO, you're meant for this job, if you need ANYTHING, I will do everything in my power to help you get to where you wanna be. All these voices surrounding me are telling me one thing...sometimes, I lose track and lose hearing of my own voice. Well do I really wanna be a teacher? Is this really what I wanna do? Or is it because everyone is telling me I should do it, that I'd be good at it, that they can see me doing it that I begin to say to myself...well maybe they're right. That's kinda been my struggle for the longest time...figuring out what I wanna do with my life. Trying to find my own voice in the midst of all these other voices around me. It's hard with my personality...I like to accommodate, to compromise, to make sure everyone gets their word in...all that in itself makes it even harder sometimes to find and hear my own voice. It's something I'm working on, but it's just who I am. So yeah, there's really no conclusion to this...I'm still struggling to find my voice, to figure out exactly what it is that I want, and trying my best not to let the voices of others be the sole influence in my life...thanks for sticking with me through all these slow posts and days where there's nothing going on, I appreciate it, peace.