Wow, it feels like I haven't talked to y'all in months, but in actuality its only been 2 weeks. Let me start off by saying that I feel like how you say something is just as if not more important than what you're actually saying. Tone is very important...that's how a lot of messages get misinterpreted. You can say something nice to somebody, but if you say it in a rude way, it's gonna be taken negatively. I had a friend go up to another friend and go wow, your singing was really good today...but his tone didn't sound sincere even though he was, so my friend who received the compliment goes are you being sarcastic? That's just a small example of how saying something nice but in a bad tone can be interpreted differently. On the flip side, you can say something mean but in a nice tone and people wouldn't even realize it...like take roasting for example...whether about someone's clothes, looks, it's all in your tone right...I can go to my friend and be like WOW, you look horrible today...but if I say it in a joking, jolly manner...he'll probably laugh it off y'know? I'm gonna share with y'all three instances that kinda inspired this post, but I'm gonna try my best to keep it short as well.
1) So I played softball this season and we hopped diamonds a lot of cuz they would be taken a lot of the times. So one day, we go to this diamond and another team comes up to us and go oh we've been at this diamond for a couple years now, we don't own it, but it would be common courtesy for you guys to essentially give us the diamond. Now what I just said didn't seem too rude, but the guy who I was talking to was hella rude, understandably stressed for having to deal with this...but he was also forceful and wouldn't let me get a word in. He kept bringing up common courtesy and respect...and I said to him okay, if you expect respect, you should be giving me the same by letting me talk instead of cutting me off every chance you get, you don't own the diamond...ESPECIALLY when you want something from someone, a favour, whatever it may be...TONE becomes extremely key. You don't get in someone's face and expect respect if you aren't willing to show that same respect backward.s. So an hour later a different guy approaches me and we talk about the same thing, but in a very calm, back and forth conversation. I told him, listen...I respect you coming here and having a civilized conversation with me, the other guy came and was whining like a baby, not letting me talk, I get he's stressed, but that's not how you talk to people. I told him it's not my wish to cause trouble and I'd have gladly gave him the diamond for future use if he had talked to my civilly and like a human being. So that was that, the second guy was cool and I decided to leave at that and give them that diamond.
2) Wow that first one was longer than expected. So this second one was like a week or so ago...I went to Starbucks with a friend and after a while we decided to switch to another coffee shop across the street for better wifi. We sat down and didn't buy anything, our bad obviously but I didn't wanna spend more money, my bad also cuz my Starbucks cup was on the table. We were sitting outside and after a couple minutes, this guy comes out and goes oh you can't have that cup here, I'm like oh okay, sorry, you want me to throw it out? He's like no, I think you better leave. Not wanting to start trouble, I'm like oh okay...I get it, but then he goes, can I get you anything? I'm like uh...yeah nah, I'm good. He's like alright, I think you better leave then. Part of me wanting to kick the table over right in front of him. I get it, our bad, it's not cool to chill and just not buy anything...but like don't talk to me like that then ask me if I wanna buy anything...like that's not you talk to customers and that's definitely not how you get people to buy your product.
3) This one happened today actually, which kinda triggered this whole post and reminded me of it. So I walk into this meeting late cuz my ride and everyone wanted to get drinks, so I had to wait, regardless of it I got a drink or not. I sit down with my boy and I take out my phone to look at it and this guy goes hey, can you put your phone away, you're already half an hour late. Like okay dad...first of all, don't talk to me like I'm a little kid. I'm just gonna keep it at that cuz I really wanted to go off on him then and now...but it ain't worth it. Bottom line is, how you speak to people is important. If you had whispered to me to put my phone away, or did it in a subtle way, that'd have been cool...but you somehow always gotta make it seem like you're an alpha eh, that's all I gotta say, watch your tone. Just like that dude at the softball diamond or the coffee shop owner...how you say things dictates you someone responds to you, it dictates the mood of the situation and conversation. In all three situations, if the softball dude, the coffee shop owner or this guy spoke to me differently, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did and am right now. Obviously I'm not saying I handle situations perfectly either, these are just some examples, I'm giving from my life...that people have thrown at me, that reminded me how important it is to watch HOW you say things to people and not just WHAT you say to them. I know this post has been a bit long...but it's been two weeks, I got a lot to catch up on lol, peace.
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