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"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." James 1:2-4

"Whatever you do in life, make sure you follow your heart. Nobody can see your vision like you can see it."

A personal blog, an unfiltered and uncensored place of expression, a personal journal.

EST 12/15/2009

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

How Do You Know She's The One?

Geez, so I finished writing this and read it over...another lengthy post, sorry...I'm honestly gonna do my best to try to cut them down but I have a real bad tendency to ramble...like right now...lol, sorry...enjoy.

How do you know that someone is the one for you? That's a question that has had to have crossed your mind about your current or past relationships at some point, otherwise I would seriously question why you were or are in that relationship in the first place. I'm not sure if there is a concrete answer to this question, it's very opinion based and you'll probably hear different answers depending on who you ask. For me, I think part of it is just being around that person for a long enough period of time. With that, I don't think couples should get married without at least dating for one year because...well y'all don't know each other. That being said, I do know couples who have gotten married while dating much less than one year, to each his own. But I mean, how well can you really know somebody in such a short period of time? It's not just their personality or their likes and dislikes...it's their weird quirks, habits, tendencies or random things they may do in the privacy and comfortableness of their own space. I also wrote this post about strengthening or exposing your friendships and relationships, you can read that over here. One thing I talk about is arguments, how arguments can make or break a relationship. Arguments let you see how people handle conflicts and future conflicts. It lets you know if you guys have chemistry or are the kind of couple to butt heads a lot. It lets you see a side of the other person you might not normally see. That being said, there are some friendships I have where we argue a lot, but I also have some friendships where we hardly argue at all...and despite me saying arguments are healthy, some relationships work so well that arguments rarely happen. So yeah, part of knowing someone is the one is just experience, being around them for a long enough period of time. I remember a few girls telling me like oh why is the guy so nervous when he proposes. If you know the girl well enough and have been together with her long enough, it shouldn't even be a question, you should already know what her answer is, the nerves should only be from asking her, which shouldn't even be a thing cuz it's such a happy moment. So many times you'll hear guys go oh wow I'm so nervous, what if she says no? I whole heartedly agree with that point, like yo if you've been dating for x amount of years or if you say you know her as well as you say you do, it shouldn't even be a question lol. I went back and thought about a conversation I had with somebody I look up to, how he told me he was getting a divorce, and something he realized was that they never loved each other...that the spark that was there when they first started dating went downhill once they got married and only got married because they had a kid, which was hella sad to hear. Which brings me to my next point, part of knowing somebody is the one or trying to find the one is trial and error. I know people who've never dated and once that first guy/girl came along...it was like alright they HAVE to be the one. Like wait what, you've never been in a relationship how can you say that so fast? They're like well, if it took this long for someone to come along, they've got to be the one right? Wrong. I think the more people I interact with, the more girls I go out with, the more I learn about myself. Who I am as a person, the kind of people I like to be around, the kinda girls I'm into, and I wouldn't have learned any of that without putting myself out there to meet people, be in different groups of friends and meet different girls. If you're in a relationship right now...whether a couple weeks, months or years...I want you to ask yourself this question. Do you think that your significant other is the one? How do you know? If you haven't asked yourself that question at any point in your relationship, I'd say you're either still in the beginning stages or "honeymoon" stage of your relationship...or maybe it's just not that serious. Cuz isn't any relationship, like a race...to get to the finish line? Lastly...I just wanted to say that the final part of knowing if somebody is the one is faith...specifically a leap of faith. Cuz honestly, you're not going to know 100% if somebody is the one for you, no matter if you're been together for 3 months or 10 years. Once you're confident and set that this person is the one, you've been together for whatever you consider a good enough amount of time, you know him/her as best as you possibly can...that's when you take that leap of faith and hope that they are the one. So yeah, with that...peace out friends.

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