Guest Writer #8: TC

Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B
Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know
Guest Writer #6: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #7: LG Slayer 231

Apologies to the homie for taking so long to post this, it was sent to me like a week or so ago, but got caught up in a lot of things...thanks for stepping up and being the first person to do it twice...without further ado..................................................



Second time around, I’m ready to go. This past year has been a good year, a real good year. There hasn’t been much stress from school, I got the internship that I’ve always been jealous of, and I’ve been blessed with the girl that I’ve had a crush on for the longest time. To say the least, this past year I’ve really grown to believe that maybe I can do things by myself; I’ve grown confident in my own abilities. I have built my kingdom on worldly things, but as we all know any foundation not built on Christ will come crumbling down sooner or later…

This past month reality has hit me real hard in every aspect of my life. Where do I start? The internship. The job that I was so proud of, the job that I loved telling people about because of the sweet sound of it. “I’m working in New York, on the trading floor.” WHAT? Right…I loved telling people that. I tried to be humble whenever I told people, but there was always a sense of pride deep inside, that maybe I was going somewhere big in my life. That first week of work was probably one of the hardest hits to my reality. I’ve done many coops before, but never like this. I’ve never been yelled at, scolded at, and generally humiliated. I remember my second day, when I made a mistake at work, my boss yelled at me asking me “are you stupid, the answer is not on my face, so stop looking there.” That first week was real tough, I thought of quitting, I didn’t want to go back, I regretted taking the job, I wanted to go home.

Long distance. Man was I ever wrong at how hard that is. I thought it was going to be the same as before; but just a little distance, what’s that going to do? To say the least it’s been hard. I’m naturally insecure and jealous. I’m one of those guys that is constantly worried that she probably liked her ex better than me. I’m one of those guys that need constant reaffirmation that she still likes me, that she still misses me, that I mean the world to her. But the reality is she’s just not that type of girl, she’s never been. When I like a girl, I get overly attached, I put her priorities above myself and everything else, I center my life around her. When that’s not reciprocated I go into a panic mode, and question, why, does she not like me, what am I doing wrong?

Family and friends. Yeah the one thing that I thought I could always count on. Yea I can tell them about my problems, the struggles that I’ve been facing. But sometimes you just want someone right there, telling you hey everything’s going to be alright. Being in a totally different place, not knowing a lot of people is truly a surreal feeling, it’s when you really realize you are by yourself.

Isn’t it funny sometimes how god works, and how stupid we are? When everything is good, I don’t realize that it’s all God’s work. He needs to throw me down, and let the world step on me, for me to realize, “I’m nobody, I’m weak, and I can’t do this alone.” In this past month despite my struggles, I’ve never felt like I’ve needed god more, I’ve never felt more dependent on him. How can we as mere humans understand the work of god? I’ve started to want to go to fellowship more, to worship more, to be surrounded in the presence of brothers and sisters, and to thirst to know him better. As for my internship, I look at it as an experience, maybe a hard awakening to not be consumed by the title and money, but to truly pursue something you love with your whole heart, and to do it in a way to glorify god. As for my relationship, I’m trying, there’s still 3 months left, I can’t promise anything. But I know for one thing, my father loves me, he has a plan for me, and he knows what’s best for me. As for now, I will cherish every moment that I have with her, respect and adore her as a daughter of god. But one thing is for certain, I need to start focusing on myself and god, instead of putting all my hopes in her. We will see where god takes us, one way of another, I’m grateful for what has already conspired, and we can only see where this journey takes us. As for family and friends, I’m thankful for all the support that I’ve gotten, and the continual love for me. I’m grateful for all the people that god has blessed me in my life. As for now I’m going to keep grinding, keep my head high, and keep seeking Christ……

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.



Yours Truly,

TC