Player vs Coach

So this year is my 3rd year playing softball for the church my church is branched off from.Last year I was an assistant coach, but didn't really do much, this year I'm the coach. And a lot of the times...I find myself torn...torn between being a coach and being a player. Today we had a friendly scrimmage against another team and we lost, we lost pretty bad. As a coach...I can't let emotions take over...I have to be strong and support and encourage my team, let them know that it's okay, that's why we practice, keep your heads up. As a player, it's frustrating, I'm super competitive, so I know come actual season time, it's gonna be hard to keep my emotions in check. Seeing people miss easy balls or mess up easy plays sucks lol..,,as a player, I wanna be out there every inning contributing to the team, in success and in loss. But as a coach, I have to be fair, I have to put my needs aside for the team. And I think that's gonna be the biggest challenge for me this season, but at the same time it's gonna be the biggest thing in helping me grow this season...as a person and in my walk with God as well. It'll be great...especially with amazing brothers and sisters on the team to help keep me accountable.