What’s Next?

Wow, I don’t even know how to start this post lol. First off let me just say thank you for 1,8 million views, y’all really been running this blog up in my absence lol. It’s been 3 months since I’ve posted, it was one of those things that started out as oh it’s been a month maybe I should post an update then another month passed and now it’s been 3 months lol. I appreciate those of y’all who have reached out to see how I’m doing and what I’ve been up to, it means a lot. There’s so much I feel like I wanna say to y’all and I hope I don’t forget anything. Let me say this right off the bat…the blog is not dead and this is not a goodbye post, but things are definitely changing in my life. If I’m being completely honest, the blog hasn’t been a priority in my life for quite some time and I honestly just haven’t had the motivation to write posts, it honestly felt like a chore sometimes like oh man it’s been a week, better try to write something before more time passes. When I finished school in March/April I honestly had no motivation for anything tbh, no motivation to look for jobs and certainly no motivation to write blog posts. This blop has ben such a big and instrumental part of my life but lately it just hasn’t been fun and like I said it started to feel like a chore at times. Being 29 going on 30, a lot of my priorities have been shifting as of late. For one, I’ve really been prioritizing my own happiness above all. Wanting to do and be around those that make me happy. My current job weas honestly the thing that really drove that point home to me, wanting to be in a place that makes me happy and wanting to do something that I enjoy for the rest of my life and just in general wanting to be happy with whatever situation I’m in. So I’ve been putting my energy into different outlets and following my heart and doing things that make me happy, whether it pans out in the long run is yet to be seen but I’m at a point in my life where I have to at least be able to say that I tried it rather than live with regret and what ifs. I know that all sounds mad vague but it’ll all come to light real soon. On top of my happiness, I’ve really been prioritizing my own health…my boy loves to ask “yo how’s your physical, how’s your mental, how’s your emotional?” And I’ve kinda taken that and ran with it, it really does kinda go hand in hand with happiness as well…surrounding myself with good people and good vibes. Physical health has also really been a big one for me, I’ve always had back pain for the longest time and made a conscious effort to go see a chiropractor to fix that, it crazy the amount of people that have back pain or just little nagging pains in their body and they just tolerate it cuz “it’s not so bad” but like yo that’s your body man, pain should not be a normal feeling lol. But anyways, with that all being said, the blog hasn’t and isn’t really a priority in my life right now…does that mean I won’t be on here anymore…no, it just means I won’t be on here…often. I don’t wanna make promises I can’t keep and say oh I’ll try to do one post every month or every few weeks, but I’ll. Just say that I’ll see you when I see you. The blog will always have a special place I my life and will always be a place for me to express myself, but for now like I said it’s just not fun for me and I’m not really motivated and I’m choosing to put my time and energy into other areas of my life. Who knows, maybe my other ventures will fall flat and I’ll be back here full time in a couple months lol, but the biggest thing is I’ll never know if I don’t try. Man as I’m writing and reading this, it reallt does sound like a goodbye post LOL, but it also feels like I’m talking to a friend who I haven’t seen in months and we’re just catching up. I don’t even know if I’ve talked about everything I wanted to or touched on the points that I warned to touch on lol…what have I been up to…work, life, taking care of myself and I guess more specifically when It comes to work and career, putting my time and efforts into something that makes me happy but importantly something I’m super motivated and passionate about. That was a big thing for me, being at my current job for over 3 years now, I came to realize no amount of money was enough motivation for me to be at a place that I disliked or doing a job I didn’t enjoy, So because of that, I’m been pushing myself to do and find things that I’m motivated and passionate about and also things I enjoy and can see myself ding for the rest of my life. That’s probably the biggest thing going on in my life right now. Other than that I feel like I’ve hit everything that I wanted to talk about, the blog ain’t dead and I ain’t going anywhere…you just might not see or hear from me on here that often…for the time being at least. If you know me and are in my circle of friends, none of this should come as a surprise to you and you should know exactly what I’m talking about, other than that, if you know me, you should know how to reach me, With that ALL being said, THANK YOU for 1.8 million views, thank you for sticking through my craziness and shenanigans, this is nowhere near the end, I promise you that. But I’ll see you when I see you, peace.

Life & Death

When I was young, I had an aunt that passed away and I couldn’t really comprehend the emotions that were going on around me. Everyone was crying, people were screaming and I was just like oh wow, they have candy and hot chocolate here. When it came time to cremate her body, they asked her daughter (my cousin) to push the button and she just could not stop screaming and crying and couldn’t bring herself to do it, as a kid, I just couldn’t understand what was going on and why everyone was so sad and such. I’ve personally never experienced what I would call the death of someone close to me so it’s hard for me to truly empathize what that feels like, but I can certainly imagine. I’m not somebody who cries easily or at all, it’s not even a masculine thing, it’s just not how I express sadness. At most I’ll tear up and there are a few things that are always guaranteed to make me tear up, one of them being the episode of Fresh Prince where Will’s dad leaves. But moving on, so I cried for the first time in a long time a couple of weeks ago…and I told y’all I’m not really someone who cries, but I found myself in a situation where I could not stop crying, like absolutely bawling my eyes out. Long story short, I found out that my cousin in Singapore passed away a couple of weeks ago. She was only like 22 years old, the last time I saw her she was a little kid, my baby cousin and then we lost contact and only reconnected a few years ago. Yeah I didn’t really know her too well, but when I was sitting in the car and trying to process it all, my heart just felt so sick and heavy and I just started crying and it wouldn’t stop. It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve had time to like digest and process it all and it just got me thinking a lot about life…and death. I think nothing wakes you up more about life and cherishing and enjoying it than death. It really puts everything into perspective, it reminds you who and what is important and also that nothing lasts forever. Not only that, but it makes me think about not wanting to waste time. We spend so much time working and grinding to be successful that we forget to just live and enjoy life because it’s not always guaranteed. I was telling my friend that after a certain point of working and making money for your own survival, it becomes about saving up for those after you, your kids and their kids and ensuring they have an easier life in the same way your parents most likely did as well. It just makes me wonder like when is it enough, like you won’t be able to carry over any of this material or physical stuff with you when you die, so what are you really living for? For me at least it just puts my own life into perspective that yeah I wanna work hard, of course I wanna set up my future kids with an easier life, but I also wanna live and enjoy my life cuz who knows when it’ll end. The other thing I’ve been thinking about as well is just how I want to be remembered and wanting to leave a lasting impact on this world or at least among my family and friends. Like what will people say about you when you die? How will you be remembered? Like oh this person was really nice, super happy and always outgoing or like this person was a dick, super selfish and always rude. Thinking about life and death just has me thinking about all these kinds of things, wanting to make the most of my time with my family and friends, wanting to live and experience and journey together with my family and friends. Whether that’s vacation, road trips or just outings and activities, anything to create more memories and just enjoy life make the most of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this tbh, I think about my baby cousin who was only 22 years old…she had so much life ahead of her, dreams, goals, aspirations and she’ll never get to do any of those. I understand life goes on and tbh I was surprised and how quick I got over it or at least like how quick I kinda just got back to my regular routine of life because hey…life really does go on, no matter who you are and that’s also what got me thinking about wanting to leave a lasting impact and how I wanted to be remembered. But I just wanna leave on this note because I’m thinking about you right now, there’s so many things I wish I could’ve said to you, I wish we could’ve met up and hung up and caught up., This life is crazy and it sometimes feels unfair, my heart hurts thinking about you cuz when I think about you I picture my 10 year old baby cousin cuz that’s the last time I saw you. I miss you and I love you, I know you’re in a better place filled with so much happiness and joy. I can’t wait to see you again and I’ll always be your Rodmond gor gor.

Time & Priorities

Hey guys, it’s been a while since we’ve talked…it feels like I have so much to say to you guys, but I don’t really know where to start. When you’re young, you feel like you have all the time in the world. Not only that but you feel like you can jam pack as many things into your schedule as possible because hey, why not, As I’ve gotten older and life has gotten busier, I’m realizing that I really don’t have that much time to spare. Whether it’s juggling school or work, balancing life or just practising self-care…it sometimes gets hard make time for things like family, friends and fun. As you get older, time really is of the essence, and you begin to prioritize and pick and choose the things and people you put your time into. If you think about it, most people spend 4-5 days a week at school or work and on top of that you have to make time for family, relationships, kids, leisure and of course yourself. My teacher used to tell me that at his age, there really isn’t any time for friends, he’d be at work 5 days a week and on those days by the time he would come home he would spend time with his kids and put them to bed and by then he’s exhausted. On the weekends, there’s marking and spending more time with family that there really isn’t much time for friends unless you literally coordinate that stuff like a month in advance. And that’s something that I’m beginning to see in my own life, as my friends get older, get married and think about starting a family, there really is less time for friends because other things begin to take priority. Which brings me to the blog…this blog hasn’t felt and definitely hasn’t been a priority in my life as of late and maybe even for quite a while. This blog kinda reminds me of that friend you haven’t seen in months but every time you do find time to catch up it’s always love and nothing has changed. As I’m getting older, I find myself being selective with the things and people I put my time into because I don’t really have a lot of time and I don’t wanna be wasting it. There’s family and work which are absolutely staples, then there are the handful of friends that I talk to or see on a consistent basis and of course self-care whether that’s going to the gym, getting food, going for a walk or listening to music. Those have been my priorities as of late and it’s really hard to make time for anything else without feeling drained or fatigued. Oh yeah, as you get older you also just feel tired…always LOL Not even tired as in sleepy, but tired as in like low battery and you gotta recharge, maybe that’s just me lol. But I’ve definitely been putting a larger emphasis on my personal health because I don’t wanna be unhealthy or immobile when I get really old. What’s the point of this post, I really don’t know lol just kinda wanted to talk to y’all and kinda explain where my head has been at lately. I know it kinda sounds like the blog is slowly dying, which it certainly isn’t…at least not yet, when I decide to hang it up you’ll know. But it’s definitely taking a backseat to other things in my life and I’m putting my energy into other outlets and goals. Again, this is by no means goodbye, this is just like a notice in the case I do go ghost every now and then…I’m always thinking about things to write and things are always happening in my life that are worth writing about, but actually putting it onto this blog isn’t really a priority right now, that doesn’t mean it isn’t something I still won’t continue to do. I hope you continue to ride with me on this really weird and rocky journey that life is currently taking me on, I definitely have lots of updates for you guys and lots of stories and things that have happened lately that I really do wanna share with y’all…hope you stick with me for that lol. I hope to see you sooner than later, thanks…peace out.

React & Respond

Hi friends, it's been a while...again. I really don't know where the time goes to be honest, one day I'm writing a post and next thing you know it's been another 3 weeks and I haven't posted anything lol. I literally just updated y'all on what's been going on in my life so I'll save y'all the trouble of reading another update post lol. I've always been and still am a firm believer that it's not about what happens to you, but how you react and respond to it. Now this is something I've definitely talked about to no ends on this blog, but it's an important reminder that we all need. So I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but no matter how bad or shitty the situation or circumstance seems to be, you (almost) always have a choice in how you choose to react and respond. Now I get it's not always black and white and sometimes it really does depend on like your mood which will affect how you choose to respond to something but in most if not all situations, even when you are in a mood...you almost always still have a choice in how you respond to whatever is thrown at you. I went for a walk one day and I was on the sidewalk, this guy on his bike was riding towards me and literally taking up the entire lane and in that split second I was like alright I can either make this ia big deal and stand in his way or say something to him or just leave it be and move to the side...so I pushed him off his bike and told him off LOOOOL nah I'm kidding, I stood to the side and let it be, but in my head I was like man what would've happened if I said something to him as he passed me like yo stay on one side or something, it literally would've created a totally avoidable issue for no reason. I then think about the customers I deal with at work on a consistent basis...how customers are always complaining or arguing or yelling and in those situations you have a choice...you go back and forth with them or you leave it be and hopefully neutralize the situation. I'm not saying be a doormat and let them walk over you, I'm saying you can still stand your grand while deescalating the situation. I've met some people in my life who just always have to get a word in no matter what the situation is or who's right or wrong. My mom is like that where not only does she have to get a word in but she'll keep talking shit even when the conversation is over and depending on who she's talking to, sometimes it like reignites the argument and I'm just like bro why do you do that, just keep your mouth shut, it's over. But anywayas, back to the whole reacting to the things that life throws at you...I hate making it sound like I'm some all knowing wise ass person cuz I'm not, I've just experienced a lot and that comes with age. Whether it\s girls, school or life, you've heard me talk about it all...girls rejecting me, failing school, life throwing seemingly unnecessary tests at me, I've always had the choice in how to react and respond to it and I definitely haven't always responded int he way that I should have...and that's okay. I've sulked, I've cried, I've gotten angry, I've sat there just not being able to comprehend why...but as Ive gotten older, I'm understanding and accepting that that's life...and you always have the choice in how much you want to let what's in front of you affect you and bother you. I'm understanding that rejection, failure, setbacks, heartache, stress and difficult times are a necessary and healthy part of life. I don't always necessarily greet it with open arms, but I'm consciously aware that I'll get through it and over i t, I just gotta keep moving forward. I still have those phases where I'm like nah, I'm gonna respond like a dick or I'm gonna escalate this shit just for the sake of it and because I want to. But honestly for the most part, I've learned to justgo with and accept it. Control what you can control and learn to deal with what you can't, but don't let it stop you from constantly moving forward in life. I hope I didn't come off too preachy...I started off wanting to remind y'all of this important note then kinda started writing to myself as an encouragement to keep going and stay mentally strong. So with that all being said, I will hopefully see y'all soon...hopefully lol, peace.

An Update On Life

Hey friends, it’s been a long while, 3 weeks to be exact. Sitting down and typing these words right now, it just feels weird lol, I definitely didn’t plan to be away this long but it was one of those things where one week became two and by the second week I had thought about putting out a post but was like you know what let’s just take another week off and just clear my head and hit y’all with an update post when I collect all my thoughts. I’ll say this, yeah I was gone for 3 weeks but y’all were running up the views on the blog lol so thank you for that. If you know me, you’ll know I’ve been in the process of moving which is why I’ve just been so busy as of late. We sold out house like a year and a half or two years ago and my mom was taking her time looking for houses then covid hit so we were just chilling for a while. Then a good deal came along and my mom jumped on it and before I knew it I had like a couple of months to pack up my entire life and move from my childhood home. I literaly grew up in that house, we were in that house for over 10 years. I think it’s where the blog got started, so many memories just hit me all at once as I was packing and as the moving day got closer and closer. I don’t wanna bore you with all the memories lol but it was nice to just look back at all the fun times spent in that house. So yeah moving took up most If not all my time, especially since I’m a procrastinator so that last week was real hectic lol and the day before moving I hardly slept just trying to finish everything since we had movers coming the next day. Now that I’ve moved in and it’s been like a week and a half, I’m slowly settling in but I def underestimated how annoying and what a process unpacking is lol I guess part of me just thought as soon as I moved it’d be done and over but I thought wrong. The first few days definitely felt weird, like I was sleeping in someone else’s house but it’s gotten better. There’s still things that are harder to get over moving from a big house to a condo like just the amount of overall space and how you can’t really go to another floor if you want space or some quiet time. I def also miss my old neighbourhood but I found some pretty cool parks and residential areas near my place to walk and it’s pretty peaceful, reminds me of my old neighbourhood. Now that I’m done moving though it kinda feels like I’m back to reality, back to trying to serach for jobs, back to working out, back to trying to hang with friends. The funny thing about motivation tho is that it’s hard to find it sometimes you know…like looking for jobs or writing a blog it’s hard to just like pull motivation out of nowhere and just start doing it. It’s crazy to think we’re like halfway into the year and we’re finally starting to see daylight from this pandemic, like things actually look like they’re progressing and we’re be back to ‘normal life’ soon. It’s funny I did a curbside delivery at work and this customer was like you guys aren’t open and I’m like nah sorry, and she’s like. I thought everything was opena dnI’m like not yet and she goes “so life isn’t back to normal?’ LOOOOOL I laughed and I was like nah sorry miss lol. I hope you guys have been practising self care and also checking in on the mental health of the people around you. I hope you’re taking care of yourself whether that means going out and treating yourself to some good fod, going for a walk, seeing friends, whatever it may be. I’ve found a lot of peace through working out a lot lately with a friend and just having dope conversations with him about anything and everything. It made me thankful and also realize the importance of having different outlets and groups of friends to be able to talk to about different things. I have friends I can obviously talk to about anything, I have friends who I sent memes and funny videos too, friends you just talk about guy stuff with, friends you talk about girls with. Like I’m super thankful because it/s always different dynamics and I think you need those different outlets. Whatever you’re into you need people to satisfy like the different interests you have. I’m somebody that loves rap music but I also love r&b and even Korean music, I love movies and shows but I also love anime and wrestling, what I’m trying to say is like you need different people in your life to be able to talk to about all those different things that you are into. And I’m super thankful to have found friends that dig multiple things that I’m interested in cuz conversations never get stale or boring. You’ll be sending memes one minute then talking about anime the next, it’s refreshing lol. I’m sorry I’ve been gone, I tend to do that a lot clearly, half of it is not really sure what to write about despite the numerous saved posts in my phone, half of it and a bigger half I’d say is just lacking motivation. It’s hard to just sit and start writing about something deep or personal lol. It’s kinda like essay writing, I can’t just sit and write especially knowing it’s not due for like weeks, but then when that last week comes, I’m like alright I have a deadline so I’ll allocate time everyday to work on it or kill it in like the lat k2 days lol that’s just how I work. With blogging I guess it’s kinda the same thing, it’s just a feeling and if I’m not in the mood it’s hard to force it you know. I hope you’re doing well, I hope you’re taking care of yourselves physically as well as mentally and I def can’t wait to catch y’all up with the things I’ve been learning and talking about these past 3 weeks, stay tuned and I’ll see you son, peace.

Expectations And Energy

So this was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend quite a while ago actually, I was scrolling through my phone looking for something to write about and I kept flip flopping between topics but I’m like alright you gotta settle on one, it’s been 2 weeks and tomorrow’s June so let’s at least end May off kinda strong lol. But anyways, sorry I’ve been mia, legit have not had any motivation to do anything…look for jobs, pack for my move or write a blog post. But let’s give igt a try, you know what really sucks…when you’re really excited about something and you share it with someone and they don’t give you that same level of excitement. Or I guess when you have an expectation of how someone will react to something like yoooo they’re gonna think this is so cool, funny, scary, dope, etc…then they don’t reciprocate that feeling or it isn’t up to your standards so you’re just like alright bet I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut LOL, sometimes I feel like that’s the story of my life. So anyways I had a conversation with a friend a long while ago and he said this to me, he was talking specifically abou the blog but I’m gonna apply it to a more general point. So essentially he said I feel like when yous hare your blog with others and the response isn’t what you expect, you stop sharing it. And I kinda took that and ran with it and kinda started seeing it in my everyday life…when I tell my friends about something and their response isn’t what I expected I’m just like alright I won’t keep going lol. It’s similar to like when you’re talking to somebody and you realize they’re not really listening or paying attention, so you just cut the story short or stop altogether, or mayb that’s just me lol. But back to the whole idea of like people not reciprocating the same feelings or energy that you expect. Maybe part of it is having high expectations but part of it is also like ay man I’m telling you something that’s important to me or something that means something to me, least you can do is like give me some sort of reaction and not just brush me off like I’m a piece of trash LOL. Maybe that’s also why communication has become such a must hav for me when it comes to relationships lol I just need someone to reciprocate that same energy you know. Hopefully I don’t sound like I’m asking for too much cuz I really don’t think I am, I mean if you tell someone something important and they’re reaction is like oh, nice…like of course you’re gonna be disappointed right? Theh I started thinking to myself, well maybe that’s why the blog kinda flourishes in a weird way…like when I share these things with my friends their reactions or responses aren’t “up to par” or don’t like match the energy I had hoped so I’m just like alright bet I’ll just write it on the blog instead lol. There used to be this running joke my old friends, I say old friends cuz we aren’t friends anymore LOL, they would be like yo if you ever need to know how Rodmond is doing or what he’s up to just read his blog…like hahaha soo funny…yeah it’s true but like c’mon now. But yeah back to the whole blog flourishing thing, the thought I had to myself was like well maybe I come here to write and share because sometimes my friends are like unresponsive or give whack responses so I rather just avoid that whole potential ordeal in general lol. The second thought I had was this idea of reciprocal energy…like whatever vibe you give to me, that’s the vibe I’m gonna hit you back with. So at work for example, being in customer service like when a customer is super cold or pushy towards me, I’m. gonna be mad cold and pushy towards them. But when a customer is like super nice or tries to make conversation, even if I hate small talk I’ll try to reciprocate that same energy by maybe going out of my way to help them with whatever. Similarly, that whole idea of people not responding in the way you had hoped or expected, it can kinda be connected with this diea of like reciprocal energy. Sometimes when my friends are like just giving me a real distant or like unresponsive vibe, then I’ll like kinda reciprocate that and kinda just distant and go ghost myself. I know it probably sounds super unhealthy but I’ve just been really big into like surrounding myself with good vibes and good energy, not in like a light some incense kinda way but just like having good people and good company around me because that helps me in like reciprocating that same vibe back to them. Does that make sense? It’s just like when you’re with somebody who is just a good time and has a good vibe, then y’all can literally just be sitting in a car and talking and it’s a good time. Now everyone is gonna have a different definition of “good vibe: because it’s different for everyone, for me it’s a feeling…when you can just vibe with somebody without having to say or do too much, that’s a good time. But yeah, I don’t know if anything I said made sense or sounds logical LOL it’s been 2 weeks so cut me some slack, was literally just scrambling through my phone looking for something to talk about and this is whqta struck a cord. I’ll see y’all sooner than later hopefully, peace!

29

1. Got damn, I’m almost 30 LOL

2. I’m also gonna apologize because this is gonna be all over the place like most of my posts are because that’s how my brain works

3. To many peoples surprise, no I’m not 22 or 25 LOL…that’s usually the age range that I get from people…I mean I guess Asian don’t raisin

4. Someone said I looked 18 once and I was like okaaay relax with that

5. I actually got carded a few weeks ago for the first time lol I was actually lowkey excited the lady def thought I was weird

6. When I was a kid I was like damn 25 Is mad old, then when I was a teenager I was like got damn 30 is maaaad old and now 30 is legit right around the corner

7. I also can’t believe that I’ve spent 2 birthdays in lockdown, what a time we’re living in…like those memes where it’s like imagine kids in the year 2100 reading up about this stuff lol

8. Sometimes I still feel like a kid on some Peter Pan shit…I just wanna sit around and play videogames with the homies, have a pizza party, go to laser quest or something (RIP)

9. There’s also that and being surrounded by like different age groups of friends that kinda keeps me young…like the boys that I grew up with are obvs all my age, then my church friends or my coworkers are def much younger like early to mid 20’s

10. Other than the actual age of 29 and my back problems LOOOL, I feel pretty young in al aspects

11. It’s crazy how we put such emphasis on one day, I definitely have flip flopped over the years between seeing my birthday as a regular day and wanting to go all out and celebrate it to the fullest

12. It’s also crazy how some people can make that one day so special just by going a little out of the way for you…had some friends drop off some gifts and cakes, met up with some other friends and just chilled then had dinner with my parents…it was simple but it was super dope

13. Maybe this is me being petty maybe it’s not but like I definitely had people in mind who I “assumed” and I guess lowkey “expected” to wish my happy birthday just cuz I would do the same to them so when they didn’t like it’s not something I’d dwell or lose sleep over but it is food for thought and something to think about

14. Then of course I remind myself that well it’s not about the people that didn’t wish you a happy birthday but about the people that did lol

15. Anyways, I rmb back in the day it was such a big deal to get like hella birthday messages on facebook cuz your wall would look lit LOL

16. I’ve come to realize that I’ve become so bad at messaging and responding to people, especially when it’s longer messages that take thought and effort lol it’s a little overwhelming and I always put it off then eventually forgeta bout it

17. Lately I’ve been so lazy I like to send voice notes LOL

18. Continuing off the birthdays thing, seeing so many friends and people get married or have kids there are def some people who I was so sure I would be there for their werddings or for the birth of their kids or seeing their kids grow up and then you kinda lose touch and I’m like damn that’s such a 180, I’m sure you know those ones

19. I think it’s important to always have moments of reflection and think back to where you came from and how far you’ve come, it keeps you humble but also puts thejourney into perspective, I found old report cards from elementary, high school and university and it just made me think of how far academically I’ve come to now like having 3 degrees and a diploma lol

20. Life update in a nutshell…graduated from social service work in college, been working out a lot with my boy, gotta find a full time job hopefully in my field, we’re finally moving from my childhood home (tears)

21. I used to hate the idea of moving out of Markham because everything was here…my friends, my church, everything I knew and loved but as I’ve gotten older and seen my friends move further away I was reminded that it doesn’t matter how far you are because if and when you really care about somebody, you’ll make that time and when you do make that time it’s always all love, you don’t stop being friends or become less good of friends just because y’all are a little further away from each other

22. The counter and flip side to that argument tho is your so called “everyday friends”, I dunno if that’s a real thing or not but it’s how I’m gonna describe it lol these are the friends you see and talk to on a daily basis because they’re availably and they’re around…whether your coworkers, neighbours, people in your community or maybe friends that still liv people nearby…it’s convenient because they’re right there and they’re also available

23. Whatever you’re feeling right now…sadness, loneliness, anxiety…you’re not alone, covid got people feeling all kinds of ways and not only that but it amplifies those feelings….the one thing I’ve learned during this time is the important or protecting your own mental health because you can’t do anything if you’re not feeling right

24. I’ve also been reminded of the importance of being able to laugh at yourself and also not taking things too seriously, I can;’t stand people who think they’re to mature to goof around or feel like they’re better than you in that sense or look down on you because you joke around too much…I def have told y’all how I felt like I couldn’t be myself around my friend cuz she thought I was immature and wanted to change myself to please her, but nah we off that

25. My parents were asking me how to block people on facebook LOOOL, they’re like well we don’t wanna block them just limit what they can see on our profile LOL, I’m like damn good to know I’ll probably still be that petty as well when I’m their age

26. Sorry I’ve been ghost lol, I tell myself and people that consistency is key when it comes to like anything you’re trying to build from the ground up and here I am slacking hella hard lol

27. Covid really zaps you of any motivation to do anything productive…when I was in school I had no motivation to do my homework, now I have like no motivation to look for jobs and also no motivation to write blog posts lol it’s tough out here

28. Going off that, just feel like the recent posts as of late haven’t been ‘hitting’ the way I wanted them to and I guess that kinda derails motivation as well but when those felings arise is when I remind myself that I do also do this just for me as well and to keep it going…that and also I tell myself well if even just one person really vibes with or takes something away from a post then that’s sufficient

29. Lastly I just wanna say thank y’all for sticking with me and continuing to support the blog, sometimes I look at my posts and I’m just like man it’s so unorganized or all over the place or it makes no sense like how do people even read this LOOOL, so thank you and I’ll see all soon, hopefully sooner than later

Resonate

So I was talking to this one girl and she was saying to me that one of her skills is getting people to open up and I was like hm, that's interesting cuz I never really saw it as a 'skill'. I think it's something I'm good at but I wouldn't call it a skill, even more I wouldn't even say I'm good at it I just think that people find me easy to talk to//open up to because my personality is naturally easy going, relaxed and down to earth. But I will say that you do have to jump a small hurdle before you get to that part of my personality LOOOL. The consensus that I usually get from people when they frrst meet me is that I look super mean and unapproachable LOOOL which is totally fair cuz I def give off that vibe, like serious rbh lol. But once you have that initial conversation with me, most people will tell you I'm drastically different from what they expected and from what they first perceived me to be lol. But I wanted to talk about something different but also similar today. Today'd word of the day is respmate and to resonate with something is do relate, to have a deep/emotional connection or to feel a sense of familiarity. For me, I've learned through sharing on this blog and different platforms/outlets that when you're open, honest and transparent, people resonate with that. I was giving this presentation in class about mental health and I said something really simple like ooh when I was in high school, I didn't know much about mental health so I certainly didn't know about the services that were available to me to help me with it. And after my presentation this one girl spoke up about how she really appareciated me sharing that personal experience in school because it really resonated with her and her experiences as well. It got me thinking...whether it's presentations or the different times I've been able to teach classes in schools or in churches, I've always found it natural to just incorporate my life and my experiences into my teaching so people can better understand it in a real life context. I think for me that's how I've allways learned best or found education the most interesting, when I get too hear from the person teaching me and their own personal lived experiences. So now whenever I get the chance to sspeak in front of people about anything, I find myself doing the same, incorporating life stories and personal experiences in whatever way I can to help people learn but to also make it more interesting. It's kinda like my blog but in real life lol. It's aso not for everybody tho, some people would much rather be like okay just tell me the information that I need and that's it, I don't wanna hear about your damn life LOL, but that's perfecctly understandable too lol. Lowkey I've just always loved talking about myself LOOOOL nah I'm playing I'm not a narcissist, I think I get it from my dad but I just always have some sort of story or metaphor for everything lol I can never just tell you something straight up, there always has to be some sort of life experience that relates to it somehow. But hey.like I said you can't please everyone, there's no one style of teaching or whatever that is going to appeal to everybody. For me, I like to use my lived exxperience to tell stories and get my point across whatever it may be and thankfully, some of y'all out there resonate with what I say...you relate to it, maybe you have a deep/emotional connecction to my words or maybe it brings a sense of familiarity. I'm glad that this platform has given me a voice but even more I'm glad it has allowed for so many opportunities for people to relate to what I'm saying or maybe see and find the words that they're not able to speak themselves. That's probably one of the biggest motivators and encouragements, to know that a lot of y'all really relate and really resonate with what I say, it gives me a little reassurance to know I'm not just talking nonsense or stuff that no one gives a damn about lol. Till next time tho, catch y'all on the flip side, peace.

Still Your Best

Hey friends, so I haven’t really been in the mood to blog lately, I dunny why lol maybe this lockdown is getting to me and also now that I’m done school I just have a buttload of free time lol. I’m literally like forcing myself to put out a post cuz I know if I slack, one week will become two weeks and it’ll just keep going lol. But I also hate forcing myself to write something because it just doesn’t feel natural and I like it when it’s just organic and free flowing. But anyways here I go, so I was listening to Giveon’s album and essentially it’s about the stages of getting over a break up. He has this one song called Still Your Best, which is an absolutely toxic song, a banger but the message is so toxic LOL. It’s essentially that stage in a break up where you’re kinda delusional and you convince yourself oh that person will never find anyone better than me. It just got me thinking like damn that’s such an unhealthy way to approach it because it’s like instead of really trying to improve yourself you’re over here like nah that dude/girl they’re with is hella whack, def don’t compare to me. You like sit there and hope they’ll come back or realize that you’re the best they’ll ever have…he has this lyric where he says “that’s a downgrade and you know it”. I think what’s worse than a toxic mentality are friends who encourage and enable it cuz they’re just as if not worse. They’ll tell you like oh their new man/girl is whack, you’re so much better and they start like putting down the other person. Don’t get me wrong like I get wanting to be supportive and stuff but I don’t think that should be the way to go about it, cuz it’s delusional and ust an unhealthy way to look at things. Giveon goes on to talk about how it’s the stage of the breakup where you mask sadness and hurt with bravado…like oh your new boo ain’t shit compared to me, you don’t realize how good you had it and stuff. I say all of this because when I heard the song, I automatically thought of all the moments in my life where it didn’t work out with certain girls and instead of bettering myself I would legit have that same mentality of like oh I hope they realize how good they had it one day and how dope I am. Instead of focusing on myself I’d be so concentrated on the other person, I hope their new partner doesn’t treat them as well as I did, I hope it doesn’t work out, all that jazz. It’s like you’re focused on their potential suffering and hurt when you should be concerned about yoru own personal happiness. But like I said, I say all this because I’ve been there…whether it’s likeworking out, trying to glow up, read more books or however you wanna improve yourself…sometimes I think to myself is it really for my own improvements or just so I can be like hey look at me and look how much better I am doing without you. Like it can be a pretty blurred line sometimes, are we improving for ourselves or so we can so called show the other person what they’re missing. It’s okay to wanna be sad and to that moment to sulk…for me, trust me it’s natural to wanna soak and bathe in that toxicity, oh I hope their new patner is whack, I hope they realize how dope I was and stuff. But the thing is when you soak and bathe in that toxicity, you gotta be careful you don’t drown in it and it overwhelms you. It’s a dangerous game and an unhealthy way to look at things. I’ve always been of that belief that if something doesn’t work out, doesn’t mean it won’t cross your path later on in life. That’s also why I have a hard time closing doors in my life…sometimes you have to. But anyways, my point was that sometimes you get second chances and you cross paths with old flames and old friends. Don’t bank on it and don’t hope for it cuz it’s not a guarantee, but it’s always a possibility. Until then tho, everything that you do should hopefully be for your own personal happiness and the happiness of those around you. I hope your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else’s sadness and misery. With that all being said, I’ll see y’all soon, peace!

A Post About Loneliness

So some people really hate silence and loneliness, like you know those people in situations where it's quiet and they feel like they have to say something to break that silence. I just wanted to say that not only is it okay to feel lonely, but its completely normal. I kinda like silence and just being by myself sometimes, I lowkey thrive in it as weird as that sounds lol. People talk about having a social batter, well that's definitely a real thing, like after a long day of being out or being around people all day, I gotta recharge and just like have some quiet time to myself. Especially with covid and the weird time we're living in, I think a lot of people have been feeling lonely and aren't really sure how to deal with it, I've have so many different conversations with friends telling me they've wanted to reach out to their exes, reconnect with lost friends and all that jazz. For me, I've kinda gotten used to it and like I said at times its rather enjoyable, not being lonely but rather being alone, there is a difference. I think that you can have a loving family, great friends and supportive partner and still feel lonely, and that's normal. Lots of times when I really needed people, they weren't there, I don't hold it against them but I certainly don't forget how it made me feel. In a way, it's made me mentally strong and content in being by myself a lot of times. Like I love quiet mornings to myself, I love going to HK cafes and getting breakfast by myself and as of late I love going on walks by myself. I'm sure y'all have flopped plans on people cuz you were tired or just wanted to be alone and not around people lol. I'll never forget one year for my birthday all my friends were busy or unavailable and I was hella sad cuz I was by mnyself on my birthday but last minute a few like random and not so close friends hit me up and asked me to chill. I'm super appreciative of those people for that but it's also a moment I'll never forget because I didn't get to spend it with people I actually wanted to. But like I said moments like these have made me mentally strong but it's also something that's not for everybody. Loneliness still hits me, I said you can have a bunch of friends and still feel lonely, even more so you can be out with people or friends and be present, but still feel lonely as well...whether they're talking about stuff you don't know or don't care about, whether they're not listening to you, or maybe you just don't wanna be there. I'm at the age where everyone around me is just more busy, everyone has their own lives, own schedules and own priorities and that's fine. There's only 2 real instances where I've felt like an overwehleming feeling of loneliness, everything else is pretty manageable or it doesn't really bother me that much coupled with the fact that I sometimes enjoy being alone. One of those instances I just mentioned was my birthday a while ago, the second one was where I was going through a situation and really needed someone to talk to andI had called up a bunch of friends and they were all busy or not picking up. Let me also set the mood for you, I was sitting in my car parked somewhere in my neighbourhood and it was raining, I just remember scrolling up and down through my contact list looking for someone to talk to and feeling like I couldn't talk to anybody. I literally resorted to an online chat and lemme tell you that was probably the loneliest I've ever felt in my life. Other than those 2 instances like loneliness is usually a manageable or an enjoyable feeling and I know that sounds hella weird LOL. I just really wanted to like normalize it because it really is okay to feel lonely or to be alone. Sometimes I just keep things to myself because it's easier and sometimes people are just too busy or I convince myself they're too busy or don't/won't care. I repeat this again because it's important, all of these things have made me mentally strong and comfortable in being alone and prepared for moments when say people aren't or can't be there for you. I told y'all I had conversations with friends who felt the same way esp with covid like yo should I reah out to my ex or should I reconnect with this old friend? I've definitey had similar thoughts or even thoughts of like wanting to meet new people thinking it would help me feel less lonely. But it really does start with yourself and your own mentality and how you approach it but again...it's not for everybody. Sometimes especially when I'm with friends and I feel lonely I'm just like Rodmond don't think like that but sometimes you can't help or control it and that's something I'm learning. I def used to think to myself or even see others and just be like don't think like that or don't feel like that, but some people really can't help it. I know being lonely can be super dangerous because I've been there and felt glimpses of it so don't take my words to heart cuz this is just based on my experiences and my feelings and how my brain operates...for me, I had to remind myself that it's normal and it's okay to feel lonely and it's also normal and okay to want to be alone, but it might not be like that for everybody, it might not be like that for you. So at the end of the day if you are thinking ot feeling like how I was, make sure at least you let one person know so they can check up on you and just so they know that you're okay. I know I said it's something that I like to kinda figure out for myself sometimes, but also understand that doesn't mean you have to figure it out by yourself, it's also okay to ask for help when you need it. But yeah, I feel like this post is all over the place because I really wanted to share my experience but also talk about it from a general standpoint but then started to feel like well not everyone thinks or reacts to these situations like me so I kinda shifted my perspective. I'll see y'all soon, peace.

Seasons Change Part 2

Seasons Change Part 1

Hey friends, I know it’s been a while…it literally feels like we’re only a few days into April but in reality April’s almost over lol. Looking like we’re gonna be spending another summer in lockdown…more plans getting postponed and cancelled, it really sucks..as much as I wanna stay positive and be optimistic and be like just gotta control what you can control…it still sucks lol. So anyways, I’ve written about this before but it’s funny how like sometimes you can come across the same thing twice and take away something different each time. So I have the words “seasons change” tattooed on my arm and it’s something that I whole-heartedly believe in, situations in your life come in seasons and seasons change, seasons come and go. I’ll link the post above cuz it’s a really good one, I really like it. So I was listening to Justin Bieber’s new album which is amazing btw, and he has this one line where he says “some people come in your life for a reason, others they come in your life for a season” and I was like damn, ain’t that the truth. I’ve always believed that but I had some doubts cuz I was like well I’ve known some friends for a looong while and then we stopped being friends, what about that? But the more I thought about it…like you know how some seasons feel shorter than others and some feel longer than others. Like we’ve had winters that lasted from like November to like April and it felt like the snow was never going to end, but it did…and Spring came. Similarly, some friendships feel like it’s forever but it’s still just a season, just a longer one if you know what I mean. He then says in the same song “some people bring you a million blessings, some people teach you a million lessons” and again it just got me thinking about all the people in my life, especially the people that have come and gone and all the memories we’ve shared and everything I’ve learned cuz in reality, even tho we may not be friends anymore, all of these people played a significant and important role in my growth. I wouldn’t be who I am without all of those so called ‘lost friends’, so I’m thankful as I am sad, but life goes on and like I said, seasons change. And I’m glad I’m a hoarder in this sense because I know I’ll always have memories and certain things, places and even people will remind me of these people and moments and memories. With all that, I’ve missed you all, I hope to get back on track…and see you soon (maybe lol).

Rock Bottom

So I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, matter a fact I know I’ve been super slacks in general lol, just haven’t really been in the mood for it y’know. Like it feels like I =have a lot on my plate but at the same time I’m not really clearing any of it, I’m kinda just like staring at it like damn, that’s a lot on my plate LOL. So I’m sitting here, thinking to myself I should probably put out a post since it’s been a week, but I’m scrolling through the many notes on my phone and I’m like eh I don’t really feel like talking about any of these things right now. I was about to say forget it and not post today and then it hit me…I was thinking about a conversation I had with my friend literally yesterday as we were hanging out and catching up. He was telling me how he was going through a really rough time, probably one of it not the hardest moments in his lise…but despite it being hard, he was like I’m glad I went through it cuz I got to really appreciate the people that supported me through it and as well it was necessary to help me grow and mature as a man, cuz ain’t that what life’s all about? So yeah we were just kinda going back and forth, I told him about some of the hardest moments of my life and that’s kinda where I wanna bring y’all today…the fact that these ‘rock bottom’ moments are absolutely necessary for you to grow and learn as an individual. For one, whenever I go through tough times, stressful moments and hardships, I think back to my rock bottom moment and I really try to channel the emotions and feelings I felt during that time…how painful, stressed, mad, bad or whatever it was, I really try to refeel all of that…then I kinda bring myself back to present day and I’m like look, if I can get through what was the hardest, most difficult moment in my life, then whatever it is I’m going through right now is nothing compared to that. That’s something I feel I’ve always thought about and tried to preach to others, like no matter what you’re doing through and how bad it might feel right now, think about the worst moment in your life and the fact that you’re still here today…if you got through that you’ll get through this. Stressful times, difficult moments, hardships, pain…it’s all necessary to help us grow, it builds character. I always think like can you imagine if life was all rainbows and butterflies…yeah it would be dope but it’s the hardships and difficulties that make the good times so much more enjoyable y’feel? This whole pandemic got everyone feeling all kinds of ways, it certainly amplifies the negative emotions and stressors, but again just think back to your rock bottom moment…how bad it felt, how terrible you felt, how you didn’t think it would get better or that you would get better…but it did, and you did…so whatever it is you’re doing through right now, it’ll get better as well and it’s just another hurdle in your life to jump over. Stay safe, stay healthy and stay positive y’all…I’ll see you soon.

Guest Writer #40: Golden Frieza

We made it y'all...the last guest post, ever...or is it? Nah it just feels right to close it off now, I definitely have other things planned and the guest posts had a good run. Started this little series in September 2013 and here we are in March 2021 calling it a wrap. I just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every person that wrote one or multiple guest posts for the blog...it's not easy sharing your life in such a public space and it's especially not easy being vulnerable or talking about super personal things so I'm thankful for each and every one of you and especially those of y'all who really dug deep and shared some super personal and intimate stuff about your life cuz I know firsthand it can be scary and uncomfortable lol. With that all being said, PLEASE show some love to all the previous guests posts and enjoy the last guest post ever, NUMBER FORTY.

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend Agnes Part 2 

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

#32: Mike Bibby 

#33: Young Gerald

#34: Sbaby 

#35: Livelifeontheko 

#36: Kim_beee

#37: Inner Self

#38: TC

#39: Someone You Used To Know

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You’re Doing Amazing, You’re Killing It, You’re Exactly Where You Need To Be.

Weekends. The two days where we countdown to, counting down Monday to Friday, for those two days where we apparently can relax or “live our life”. We literally go through 5 days, just to enjoy two days, sometimes even less, because I know some of us spend Sunday thinking about the fact that we have to go back to work on Monday, so Sunday is a write off basically. Friday night can be a write off too, because we’re too tired. So basically, we spend our lives waiting for Saturday so we can really do what we need to do. One day out of 7. We literally have 52 days in a year where we can unwind. Now this is just for 9-5 jobs, but even if you work in a job where you work weekends, you literally look forward to the one or two days a week you have off. Why do we do this? Why don’t we make use of every minute we have on this earth and cherish it, no matter what we’re doing. I literally started making everyday a weekend in my head. Even though I am working, I treat it as a day of experiences, a day of learning, a day of spreading positivity and good vibes to myself and those around me. Even if you’re out here folding clothes, there’s still some solace and tranquility to it, cherish the moment. Cherish the moment you fold that cotton v-neck sweater and put it on the shelf, it’s an art, you Banana Republic Picasso. And no I am not talking about anyone in particular. I am just saying there is art, there is peace, there is accomplishment in everything we do. Instead of cherishing these moments, we tend to countdown until our next day off, not living in the moment. I was guilty of doing this at one point in my life, and then I realized I was watching my life pass me by. Life passes you by if you don’t stop and look around every once in a while. Your life is shortened massively when you’re only living for about 15% of the year. Why not live for 100%? Anyways, there’s a reason I realized this.

Life is short. No matter where you are in life, you’re doing amazing. A lot of people measure their own success with someone else’s ruler. I know people who were happily married at 24, and have 2 kids now and a house. I also know people who were married at 27 and now divorced years later. I know people who are single, but living their best life. I know people who are single who really want to find someone. No matter where you are in life, how big your house is, how old you are and what car you drive, do you ever stop to think … why does it matter? Does it even matter? Does it matter that you’re not at the same “level” as your friends? We all have different definitions of success, different goals, different aspirations, but we ALL matter. For example, if everyone was a successful entrepreneur who sold luxurious candles, we would have no doctors, we would all be dead. But at least we would have some lit candles (literally) at our funeral. I’m thinking a nice Tom Ford eau de wood scented candle. We are literally all important, let me use one of my friend groups for example. One works at a clothing store, if we didn’t have them, we wouldn’t be able to buy clothes. One works at a phone company, without them we wouldn’t have our cell phone plans and we couldn’t keep in contact with each other. One of them works for a marketing company that works with groceries, without them we wouldn’t know what deals are going on to do our grocery shopping for the week. Savings? I know everyone loves savings. We literally need everyone to be doing exactly what they’re doing so the world can go round. So don’t feel bummed that you didn’t quit your job and create a podcast, or chase your dreams of becoming a rapper or an artist. Not everyone can do it, and if everyone could do it and be successful, then those things would be worthless. If everyone made amazing paintings, no one would buy one. It would be pretty basic. Supply and demand. The reason these things all seem so enticing is because only particular lucky people can make it, but you’re still doing amazing in whatever you’re doing. We all can’t be Drake. We can’t all be Steve Jobs, but we can be us. Without us, the world would be a different place. Imagine how much impact you have on the world. Since you were born, you have interacted with so many people, that literally if you weren’t born, those people’s lives would be completely different. One thing you said to them or did to a particular person could’ve literally had a ripple effect and you didn’t even realize it.

Life is short. I will say it again. I don’t want to get too personal, but my sister has a disease that’s literally one in a million per year. Like one in over a million people get it in a year. She got it when she was 19. She is one of the youngest people to ever get it, according to the specialist. She recently went for an MRI, and they said that even after all this medication, and all these side effects from the meds, it still didn’t help. These side effects were pretty bad too, anxiety, depression, weight gain, possible hair loss, like it was pretty bad. All of that just for her to get no where. It’s been so disheartening going through this journey with her. She is my younger sister, we talk about growing old together with our families, we talk about the future. So to hear things like this is scary, to say the least. I would give my sister any organ, anything she needs. It isn’t that easy though is it? She literally can’t walk for over 20 minutes without breaks, and we take something like that for granted everyday. Her meds make her feel nauseous every night, another thing we take for granted, just the fact that we don’t have that same discomfort every night. The list goes on. Honestly, everyone goes through something. The best thing we can do is ride with it, and realize it’s a part of us, and make use of the fact that we’re here, alive, and capable of doing whatever we are able to do. Make use of everyday. Make use of every hour, every minute, every second.

This is life. You have one life to live. Don’t waste it on a toxic ex partner, things in the past that you can’t control, people and situations in your life you can’t control, stop wasting your time. Be positive, be optimistic, be realistic, but mostly importantly be you, be beautiful, and live life the way you want to live it. Help others live their life, love unconditionally, give hugs to those who need hugs, smile to those who need a smile, but most importantly give yourself the love, the smiles and the hugs you deserve. This may sound cliche, but I find too many people are way too hard on themselves, and I am STILL guilty of this. I know I need to change myself, I know I need to live in the present, I know I need to move on from the past, and I know that I just need to cherish the memories that I’ve made that make me happy, be happy where I am, and be excited for where I am going to go. Are you going to do the same? You’re doing amazing, never forget that. The world needs you. Just like it needs me, and everyone around me.

Mementos & Memories

Hey friends, I know it’s been a while lol I apologize. I’ve been in a weird head space lately and haven’t really even been thinking about writing. The guest post is good and ready, could’ve posted it Monday but decided to save it for next Monday, yeah I dunno it just feels like I have so much on my plate but at the same time like I’m not really doing anything about it LOL. Reaching the finish line fr school, graduating this year, gotta start looking for jobs, still got work and like co vid kinda also zaps you of like any motivation or energy to want to do anything lol or maybe that’s just me. I was scrolling through the notes on my phone like hmm maybe I should put out a post tonight, but I was like man I dunno what to talk about lol I’m not really feeling any of these. The it kinda hit me as I was staring at the note. It’s crazy how lspecific songs, things, places or whatever will remind you of people or even specific moments that you had with those people. This applies to like all my friends but it definitely hits harder with the people I don’t talk to anymore you know. Like obvs there’s things that remind me of my friends, but because I still see and talk to them and we’re still creating new memories, it’s a thought that comes and goes. Whereas with people I don’t talk to anymore, that’s all I really have…memories, so it kinda lingers you know. Like when I was in high school there were specific songs that reminded me and still do remind me of specific girls in my life lol and I used to stay away from those songs cuz I didn’t wanna think about it but now it’s funny to listen to cuz their faces are like attached to those songs for me. I look at like my basement and all the hours I spent gaming with the guys and random sleepovers that really weren’t sleepovers cuz we’d play videogames till like 4 am, sleep for a few hours then wake up and play more videogames LOL. Everytime I walk past this park it reminds me of all the times I would chill with this one girl and we’d talk for hours late into the night just chilling in the park. I even look at certain restaurants like oh damn I remember I met up with so and so here and we talked about this or this happened. It’s really crazy and really cool to think about…in a happy and sad way lol like it sucks it’ll never be like that again but I’m happy that it happened and I can look back on it you know. Because I’m such a hoarder of sorts, I like to keep these things to look back on…old birthday cards that just say happy birthday rodmond and then a signature, I keep that stuff lol…letters from my ex (we’ll talk about that another time)…random cards from like baptism, Christmas, etc. It’s also why I love looking back on like yearbooks too lol…it’s like I enjoy the sadness it brings but also the happiness in looking back at the memories LOOOL is that weird, or rather does that even make sense? I look at this blog for example…my life told through posts…stories, experiences, lessons that I get to look back on if I ever choose to. And at the end of the day, things that led and helped me get to the point that I’m at today. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t like deleting or throwing things away lol whether old conversations or physical mementos, I keep that stuff for the accidental times I come across it or the random times I clean my room and find it LOL. But yeah, I hope you’re doing well…maybe I’ll hit y’all with an update post when I collect my thoughts lol, catch y’all on the flip side…PEACE.

Guest Writer #39: Someone You Used To Know

We're reaching the end man, damn...it's a little bittersweet...something I started so long ago and have been able to share with so many of my friends and acquaintances alike, it's really cool looking back at all the posts, how people felt. Something I also can't help but think about is the person behind the guest post and who they were to me at that time and who they are to me now...cuz things are always changing you know, you grow closer to some people and you drift apart from others, but anyways...show them some love and enjoy today's guest post!

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend Agnes Part 2 

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

#32: Mike Bibby 

#33: Young Gerald

#34: Sbaby 

#35: Livelifeontheko 

#36: Kim_beee

#37: Inner Self

#38: TC

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Pivoting and Transitioning

Before I jump into this, just wanted to give a big shoutout to RT the realest for giving me an opportunity to get on the blog. This has been a space that was homegrown and explicitly showed his inner thoughts to you guys which is quite rare nowadays. So thank you for giving people a blog full of posts to ponder about it because I know a lot of us can relate.

But let’s jump right into it!

Pivoting and transitioning….Nah I’m not talking about basketball… We ain’t talking about PRACTICE! Sorry I had throw that in there, but I’m talking about pivoting and transitioning through life and making decisions. I can speak for myself and maybe some of you guys can agree, but if something you worked so hard to make your plan happen or you had your mind made up on something on things were going to go… but then it doesn’t. I don’t know about you but stuff like that used to eat me up inside and it would show visibly on my face. It would bother me so much that my mood would change and honestly it started creep into my relationships/friendships and my family. Until someone really close to me put me on the art of pivoting, which is essentially going from plan A to plan B. When something doesn’t work out, instead of focusing on where things went wrong…. focus on how you can salvage the situation and turn into a bright spot. If you can pivot and transition from something going wrong to looking for ways to better your situation, you’ve already mastered the art of pivoting and transitioning. One of the things that helped get better at pivoting was this quote, and I hope this helps you pivot your way through life’s trials and tribulation. “What has reached you was never meant to miss you and what has missed you was never meant to reach you” Prophet Muhammed(Pbuh).

Hit Or Miss

So it feels like it's been a while since we've talked for some reason...anyways, so I feel like there are just some things in life that you can't control. That's a pretty obvious statement and this is definitely something I've talked about on the blog before. So like I said there are some things in your life you just can't control, one of them is who likes you and who doesn't like you...not romantically just as a person, but I guess you can apply it romantically as well. No matter how dope of a person you are or think you are, no matter what you do or say some people just won't like you for their own varying reasons. The other thing for me at least is that I can't control what posts y'all like or dislike, and this is something I've said a million times like the posts I think are super dope, put a lot of time and effort into usually don't generate as many views as like the ones I just write spontaneously or write without much thought or effort. At least that's the trend I notice lol there are def variable and there are def topics that I know will garner more views like anything related to girls or relationships lol. At the end of the day, something I remind myself of is that some posts are gonna hit and some are gonna miss, that's just something I can't control and def something I shouldn't get stressed over (which I don't lol). Timothy Dela Ghetto is somebody I really vibe with and you'd know this if you knew me, so he's always like man I put so much money, time and effort into skits and they don\t get as many views as like mukbangs and that's just eating and talking. He's like I enjoy doing the skits but mukbangs are so much easier cuz you're just eating and talking with the homies. I think about the blog in that aspect sometimes too lol like how easy would it be to just write about girls are relationships constantly and watch the views pile up LOL. But that's why I sometimes say that this blog as much as it is for you is moreso for me...as therapy (bars) and like just a form of expression, being able to write and talk about whatever I want and I've said it before I really felt that freedom when the blog hit a million views cuz it was like a huge milestone but also a huge weight lifted like the pressure was gone in a weird way lol. Right now I feel like less need to maximize views and more just being creatively free...making posts like updating y'all on my life or experimenting with new ideas like the Ask The Audience Posts. At the end of the day, like I said I can't control what posts people enjoy reading or don't enjoy reading, I just have to keep writing for myself, talking about things I like, things I know and most importantly things that make me happy...and shouldn't that be what it's all about? So till next time, PEACE.

Guest Writer #38: TC

 As always, all of the previous guest posts will be linked below...show whem some love!

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend Agnes Part 2 

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

#32: Mike Bibby 

#33: Young Gerald

#34: Sbaby 

#35: Livelifeontheko 

#36: Kim_beee

#37: Inner Self

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My man thanks for having me again. Honestly, every time I make a guest appearance I like to look back through the previous posts and see who I was and what was on my mind at the time. It’s cool seeing how my perspectives have changed through the course of these guest posts.

I guess the biggest thing on my mind right now is passion. I feel like most people at this age yearns to do something that they are passionate about but lack the courage or awareness of what their passions are. I am at the point in my life where I am scared to see who I would be in 10 years if I don’t chase / find my passions. It’s like I am looking at a divergence in my life where one path is the typical American Dream, but the other being absolutely unknown, yet completely enticing. You know that feeling when you were a kid and you had the naivety of wanting to change the world. I don’t want to lose that.

Growing up, we all had these wild dreams that we wanted to pursue. For me, it was always some variation of helping the poor, fighting for equality, representing the underprivileged – just making a difference. Moving back to the East Coast has given me the chance opportunity to befriend a group of Harvard Law students. Talking to them and hearing their stories of foregoing the Corporate dollars, to pursue careers of representing the underprivileged, or fighting for equality gave me a wake up call. I was once like that.

The next chapter in my life is yet to be determined, but I am excited and can’t wait to see where my passions take me.