So some people really hate silence and loneliness, like you know those people in situations where it's quiet and they feel like they have to say something to break that silence. I just wanted to say that not only is it okay to feel lonely, but its completely normal. I kinda like silence and just being by myself sometimes, I lowkey thrive in it as weird as that sounds lol. People talk about having a social batter, well that's definitely a real thing, like after a long day of being out or being around people all day, I gotta recharge and just like have some quiet time to myself. Especially with covid and the weird time we're living in, I think a lot of people have been feeling lonely and aren't really sure how to deal with it, I've have so many different conversations with friends telling me they've wanted to reach out to their exes, reconnect with lost friends and all that jazz. For me, I've kinda gotten used to it and like I said at times its rather enjoyable, not being lonely but rather being alone, there is a difference. I think that you can have a loving family, great friends and supportive partner and still feel lonely, and that's normal. Lots of times when I really needed people, they weren't there, I don't hold it against them but I certainly don't forget how it made me feel. In a way, it's made me mentally strong and content in being by myself a lot of times. Like I love quiet mornings to myself, I love going to HK cafes and getting breakfast by myself and as of late I love going on walks by myself. I'm sure y'all have flopped plans on people cuz you were tired or just wanted to be alone and not around people lol. I'll never forget one year for my birthday all my friends were busy or unavailable and I was hella sad cuz I was by mnyself on my birthday but last minute a few like random and not so close friends hit me up and asked me to chill. I'm super appreciative of those people for that but it's also a moment I'll never forget because I didn't get to spend it with people I actually wanted to. But like I said moments like these have made me mentally strong but it's also something that's not for everybody. Loneliness still hits me, I said you can have a bunch of friends and still feel lonely, even more so you can be out with people or friends and be present, but still feel lonely as well...whether they're talking about stuff you don't know or don't care about, whether they're not listening to you, or maybe you just don't wanna be there. I'm at the age where everyone around me is just more busy, everyone has their own lives, own schedules and own priorities and that's fine. There's only 2 real instances where I've felt like an overwehleming feeling of loneliness, everything else is pretty manageable or it doesn't really bother me that much coupled with the fact that I sometimes enjoy being alone. One of those instances I just mentioned was my birthday a while ago, the second one was where I was going through a situation and really needed someone to talk to andI had called up a bunch of friends and they were all busy or not picking up. Let me also set the mood for you, I was sitting in my car parked somewhere in my neighbourhood and it was raining, I just remember scrolling up and down through my contact list looking for someone to talk to and feeling like I couldn't talk to anybody. I literally resorted to an online chat and lemme tell you that was probably the loneliest I've ever felt in my life. Other than those 2 instances like loneliness is usually a manageable or an enjoyable feeling and I know that sounds hella weird LOL. I just really wanted to like normalize it because it really is okay to feel lonely or to be alone. Sometimes I just keep things to myself because it's easier and sometimes people are just too busy or I convince myself they're too busy or don't/won't care. I repeat this again because it's important, all of these things have made me mentally strong and comfortable in being alone and prepared for moments when say people aren't or can't be there for you. I told y'all I had conversations with friends who felt the same way esp with covid like yo should I reah out to my ex or should I reconnect with this old friend? I've definitey had similar thoughts or even thoughts of like wanting to meet new people thinking it would help me feel less lonely. But it really does start with yourself and your own mentality and how you approach it but again...it's not for everybody. Sometimes especially when I'm with friends and I feel lonely I'm just like Rodmond don't think like that but sometimes you can't help or control it and that's something I'm learning. I def used to think to myself or even see others and just be like don't think like that or don't feel like that, but some people really can't help it. I know being lonely can be super dangerous because I've been there and felt glimpses of it so don't take my words to heart cuz this is just based on my experiences and my feelings and how my brain operates...for me, I had to remind myself that it's normal and it's okay to feel lonely and it's also normal and okay to want to be alone, but it might not be like that for everybody, it might not be like that for you. So at the end of the day if you are thinking ot feeling like how I was, make sure at least you let one person know so they can check up on you and just so they know that you're okay. I know I said it's something that I like to kinda figure out for myself sometimes, but also understand that doesn't mean you have to figure it out by yourself, it's also okay to ask for help when you need it. But yeah, I feel like this post is all over the place because I really wanted to share my experience but also talk about it from a general standpoint but then started to feel like well not everyone thinks or reacts to these situations like me so I kinda shifted my perspective. I'll see y'all soon, peace.
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