Special Guest Bloggers...

What's good, today was a productive ish day lol...woke up and watched shows for a few hours...it gets more productive trust lol. Helped my dad mow the lawn and pull some weeds and stuff...had softball practice and it was very productive, the team is looking really promising and excited, I'm happy to be coaching a team like this this year. After that we played some ball cuz there are courts beside the diamond where we practiced, so that was fun. After, had a nice heart to heart from my friend who drove me home, just talking about softball and school and things of the sort. Anyways, during the car ride, my other friend mentioned the idea of him writing a post on my blog lol, then we got on the topic of guest writers on my blog lol. the idea has crossed my mind before...like a few years ago, but I wanted this blog to be more about me and my life...and that's what is was and has been about. But thinking about it more and more, it's a pretty sick idea and gives a lot of room for this blog to grow. I know it's possible cuz I've seen other blogs with multiple authors...so hmmm, we'll see...

Busy Bee...

Sorry guys, I know I said I'd try to at least post every night, but sometimes I get mad tired or I just forget lol.. Monday morning I hit the gym, then played ball at the park, then went to church at night to play ball. Tuesday, hit the gym in the morning as well, softball practice got cancelled cuz it was raining. Tuesday movies are usually half price, but my friends I usually go with watched Fast 6 without me...but luckily I found friends to watch it with yesterday lol. Today, skipped the gym cuz I was too tired...had lunch and went grocery shopping with my parents, then went to my friend's church for a crossfit workout. Yeah...that's pretty much what I've been going lol.gotta get some things done soon though...got like less than a month to write and memorize this song...only got like a few lines down so far lol...

21 & Over, No Kids Allowed.

It still hasn't really hit me yet that I'm 21...like wow, when you think about it, that's pretty old but at the same time it's pretty young. Next year is going to be my 4th year in university...I graduated high school in 2010. When people ask me what year I am, I'm gonna be like 4th year...lol wow, it just hit me all of a sudden how time is flying by so fast. A lot of my friends are doing co-op, internships or working full time and already getting a taste of life after school...working 5 days a week, 9-5 jobs...wow, I can't imagine life after school yet, working full time.It's scary...21...man...that's like, legit full fledged adult, can't goof off no more, gotta be serious LOL jokes! But really though...21...I look at all the people around me, some talking about marriage, some getting married, some just starting university next year, some just starting high school next year...everyone's like growing up before my eyes...and I too am growing up as well, but I still don't feel that old yet.Part of me still feels like 18 ish or so...like fresh out of high school...have I really been in university for 3 years....damn.

The Finish Line

Life is a like a race, your walk with God is like a spiritual race. The sermon today was about growing in Christ, how we're made and meant to grow, we can't be comfortable and content with where we are in our faith, we're taught not to. We should be always seeking to know God more. One of the most encouraging things he said and that I've heard in a while is that in our spiritual race, we're guaranteed to finish and not only are we going to finish, but we're going to win. How crazy is that...to know that despite all the hardships, stress and pain we have to endure in this life...we're going to finish the race and we're going to win. No matter how many temptations the devil throws at is or how many obstacles, trials and hurdles we must face in our lives, no matter how hard it seems and how tough it feels...when we feel like giving up...God promises us that we will finish the race and we're going to win. It's so encouraging to me cuz it's like the ultimate sign of hope.That if you trust and have faith in God and put Him first in your life, He guarantees you the ultimate and most priceless reward...you can't earn it with money or good deeds, but simply by faith...eternal life with Him in His beautiful and glorious kingdom. It was a really good reminder to me that though we may suffer in this life, God has so many more great and amazing things planned for us later. That no matter how hard life gets, we're going to finish the race.

Do What You Love, Love What You Do

At first I wasn't going to talk about this, but the more I started to think about it the more it began to bother me. I was talking with a bunch of friends today and we were talking about like school, the future, marriage, work, things of the sort. And we got on the topic of me wanting to be a teacher and he told me that he feels that he thinks I don't really want to become a teacher. And in my head I was just like...uh yeah I do. But then I sat there and even when I got home I started to think about it more and more...do I really want to become a teacher. You know when someone tells you like a lie or something untrue, the more you repeat it to yourself, the more true it begins to sound. I feel like that's what happened, the more I repeated that in my head, the more I began to convince myself that I didn't want to become a teacher. My biggest inspiration to wanting to become a teacher is my elementary school teacher and just the influence and impact he had on me, I've told you numerous stories about him. Just what an awesome person he was and how we're close friends even to this day. He's the reason I wanted to become a teacher and have that same impact and relationship with kids. I remember a conversation with my friend who didn't get into teacher's college and he was saying that doesn't mean everything's wasted, just because you don't become a teacher doesn't mean you can't teach, now that may not make sense but he was saying how there's a lot of diff things you could do like teach Sunday school and stuff. Everyone's always saying how bad the job market is and how tough and hard and how long it'll take to find a job as a teacher and how competitive it is, but if it really is something you love and enjoy and want to do, go for it. One of the reason's I'm not so worried about this is because I know that God has a plan for me regardless of what happens...whether I get into teacher's college or not, whether I become a teacher or not, I know He will guide me to the path He sees fit.

Inspiration of the Moment

There's a very interesting story behind this. So after Sunday service today, we had Sunday school...we did this thing where we write our name on a piece of paper, put it in a box and take out someone's name and write something nice about that person and you can leave your name or not. So we each did 2 and received 2...this is one that I got, yeah my writing's ugly I know...but I had to take the time to really read this a few times. And it's just nice to know that...someone appreciates all the work, thought, passion, emotion, love and time I put into this...I always tell you guys that one big reason that I keep doing this besides venting is you guys, the viewers, you motivate me to continue doing this, thank you.

Lebron James: CLUTCH

I just had to post this...if y'all watched game 1 of Miami vs Indiana...you'll know it was a crazy game...from Paul George's deep 3 to bring it to OT...to this...Lebron James with 2 seconds to go...

Prayer Journal: Day 3

Derl: I pray that you approach life and whatever is thrown at you with a patient heart. That God will provide for you. Thank you for always being there for me, like a role model, father figure type thing. I honestly wish the best for you and your family, that God will grant you and them safety and a healthy life.

Asyn: My prayer for you is that you find strength in Jesus, trust in Him, lift up ALL your burdens to Him and really seek Him and a life that glorifies Him. I know that as we both grow and mature in our faith, as we continue to seek God, we will naturally become closer as friends and as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Secg: I pray that you really remain faithful to God this year, especially with what's to come. It's been so encouraging to see you grow and mature before my eyes, and I genuinely care and am so proud of you. I hope you will be patient with your family, trust that God has a plan for you and your talents. He will never fail you, continue to seek Him, His Word and His people. I pray that God is with you this next year, that He really keeps you strong, smart and responsible. With you being so far away and isolated, I hope that we remain close and connected, I will be praying for you and checking up on you, I hope for the best for you.

Gyli: I pray that you really give up this lifestyle of yours and open up your heart, to everything that's bothering you. I pray that you'll stop running away from your problems and start running to God. I hope that God will really break you down and all your barriers and walls you put up. That He will really reveal Himself to you and give you the strength and initiative to face the trials and tribulations that are thrown at you.

From Me To You...

I feel like you and I always go through this cycle every time we see each other. It's like a bittersweet feeling...like Kanye says, I love you and hate you at the very same time. I love chilling with you, having fun and talking and stuff...but I hate the feelings that always seem to come with it. Our chemistry is just so natural...I'm honestly really happy when I'm with or around you, you bring out the best in me. Everything with you just clicks so easy, the things we talk about and stuff. Everything that happens or whatever...the time that goes by where we don't see each other for a while...it always somehow comes back to you, and no matter how hard I try to keep you at a safe distant or at the edge of my life...you seem to just break through those barriers with ease. I've contemplated a lot of times...whether or not you're the one...lol, kinda crazy I know...especially with all that's going on and all that is about to come. Maybe it's just wishful thinking...but I've talked about this a million times, I've dreamed the perfect situation and scenario between us countless of times. I don't even know...whatever happens this time...I just can't see you permanently out of my life despite how far you'll be and how long you'll be away. I know that somehow, someway, whatever and whoever you're meant to be in my life...you'll never really be that far away.

Working Out, Gaming and Chilling...

What's good, about to head to bed so I thought I'd get at least one post in. Yesterday was a pretty chill day, as most days are as of late...went to the gym in the morning with my friend, after that got food, walked around the mall a bit and headed home. I've been playing videogames a lot lately, but it's not as fun cuz my TV's messed so the colour and ish is messed, so it's a turnoff playing sometimes. At night, headed out with 2 homies to go watch The Great Gatsby and it was pretty interesting, I actually really liked it, I had no clue what it was about, just that some dude threw a bunch of fancy parties, but it was a solid movie.Today was a loaft day ish...was too tired and sore, so didn't go to the gym...instead stayed home and watched shows and played games lol. Went to church at night for crossfit workout and got some good ball runs in as well. That pretty much sums up these past 2 days...I really need something to do...to pass the time, if it's not a gym...I just really want something to do or at least someone to chill with and pass the time with me lol...

Prayer Journal: Day 2

Rdtm: I don't know how to get through to you sometimes, I don't know what goes on in your head or what you're thinking. I pray that God gives you some sort of direction with your life, I pray that you really get everything together and have a plan for the future...I pray that God has a beautiful and wondrous plan for you and that your talents will be magnified to glorify Him. I just want the best for you, because you deserve it.

Tyli: I pray that you continue to have God in your heart. That God will slowly but surely reveal Himself to you in all His magnificence and awesomeness. I pray that you find that someone who you can really look up to and go to for guidance, I pray that you continue to mature and begin to really seek God. Next year will definitely be a new start for you, I pray you really embrace it and break out of your awkward shell.

Jyyu: I hope you continue to seek God and do your devos. Sometimes you seem so slack and lackadaisical, I pray that you really take some initiative to participate and get involved in activities. I hope you really continue to seek God, seek that fellowship and unity within the church and His people.

Wasn't Meant To Be

This...is where it all started lol. Funny story behind this poem, which was written in February of 2008. This was I believe where I really started writing, before rapping and stuff...this was where I first started writing. This was about this girl I had the biggest crush on in high school. I was a really shy guy back then, still am sometimes...so I wrote this, told my friend who is pretty popular and likable I'd say to post it on his faecbook cuz I felt he would get a better reaction from it and I wanted to see what people would say lol. So yea...I pasted it to him and he put it on his facebook...and he got a really solid reaction lol, but as you read it, it's pretty bait who I'm talking about lol, so I kinda got him in a bit of trouble lol...thanks bro, I appreciate it.

I met you in our first year of high school.
The first thing I noticed was your fiery red head.
Your beautiful eyes, sweet smile, and just how nice you were.
I decided I would try to get to know you.
Luckily after a few introductions and some random messages, we became friends.
As days went by, and nights went on, your face kept running through my mind.
After constant messaging, we poured out hearts out to each other, it felt GREAT.
As time went by, I felt our relationship grow.
And suddenly, in a blink of an eye, all had changed.
Every time I saw you, I felt a tingly feeling in my stomach.
I would approach you, but the words wouldn’t come out.
My heart would race, my mind swirling with words, and my stomach with emotions.
Because of this, I feel like I ignored you, pushed you away for fear of rejection.
The thing is that I’ve been keeping this in far too long.
See as crushes developed, and relationships broke, the last thing on my mind was you.
Even when I was with other girls, why is it that you kept running through my mind.
Well as a year goes by, I find myself stuck, not moving forward nor backward.
But stuck in a place and unable to make the move. 
Why is it that I’m at a loss for words.
As a new year begins I find myself back in the same place.
Feeling like I’m in a race I can’t win, but yet I still try.
Eventually I realize that this is pointless.
I would rather have u as a friend than not have u at all.
So here I am back in the place again.
Not trying to win, but not giving up either.
Instead I’ve realized and accepted the fact that it wasn’t meant to be

Be Proactive, Take Initiative...

I guess just branching off from the whole growing apart from friends. One thing that annoys me is when people see a problem or complain about a problem, but don't do anything about it. They see everything that's wrong, they always talk about it, they give their input and suggestions, but they never actually do anything about it. One example is friends growing apart...it's natural in our culture to be lazy and expect and hope the other person to do it...but it's like, you see us growing apart, you notice things aren't the same, yet you don't say or do anything, you just keep it to yourself. Another example is church...a lot of people see a lot of problems in church, but don't acknowledge it, instead they wanna complain and say oh well it's their fault, blah blah...I'm gonna go to another church where they don't have these kinds of problems, things like that. I feel like it's the natural thing to just run away or sweep all your problems under the carpet. I dunno...mad tangent right now, but I also hate in our culture that the guy is expected the make the first move. To some degree I agree with it, but some girls expect the guy to do everything...are you dumb? I know that was completely off topic lol...but yeah...we're always taught to take initiative. Like if you're in a big crowd and you see someone getting mugged or bullied...if everyone had the mentality of oh don't worry someone else will step up...nothing would ever get done and no one would ever help each other.

Old Friends, New Friends...

What's good, I said I'd try my best to post at least every night...about to go to sleep...well I was kinda already chilling in bed and decided to post before I forget lol. Anyways I was reading one of the cards I got for my birthday and one of my friends wrote that she's seen us grow apart and hopes that we can find the time to catch up. That just got me thinking I guess...about a lot of things, it also made me dig up all my old birthday cards from like years back, cuz I'm a keener and I like to keep things like that. And I just started thinking about this year itself...and how I've grown apart from a lot of people, but at the same time I've grown closer to a lot of people. I think as I get older, I'm slowly leaning towards having a tighter knit group of friends, rather than a big group of acquaintances, basically my circle is getting smaller and smaller. But yeah, I've been reminiscing a lot about certain people, certain friendships, how we used to be so cool...chilling everyday, talking on the phone, taking walks, playing ball everyday, things like that...and I got to just really evaluating the people in my life atm...I usually try my best to be really positive...meaning I don't really concern myself with the people I've grown apart from cuz that's apart of life, but I focus on the people I've grown close to, the people who are in my circle. Tbh, I don't even know where I'm going with this post anymore...I guess sometimes I think back to the fun times I had with certain people and ask myself what went wrong or where it went wrong? But at the same time I look at all the fun times I'm having and will have with my current homies and I get excited and encouraged.

My Commitment to You...

Hey guys, so aside from posting throughout the day and stuff, I'm going to try to at least post before I go to sleep if I don't get to it throughout the day. But yeah on another note, I already feel like summer's moving really slow yet really fast...really slow where it's like I still have 3 and a half months left to kill...going by really fast as in I only have 3 and a half months left lol. If I don't end up getting a job, I have no idea what I'm gonna do for the rest of summer...aside from working out, ball and softball...

Brooke Fraser - Shadowfeet

"When the world has fallen out from under me, I'll be found in You still standing."

Prayer Journal: Day 1

I've seen people who have like journals where they write down their thoughts and also just prayer requests and their prayers for other people. After talking to my friend tonight about just the things he's been feeling and struggling with, I thought I'd do something like a prayer journal to also keep myself accountable about praying and just do it on my blog. I'm not sure how it's gonna work whether I'll do one everyday, or whenever I have new prayer requests or people to pray for, we'll see. I don't wanna name names, but I also don't wanna just put a random number so I can look back on these and know who I'm praying for and what I'm praying for and if anything changes.

Tycn: My prayer for you is that you have a patient heart and that you really trust in God and have faith that His timing and His plan are perfect. I hope you really take that step, that initiative to open yourself to Him, His Word and His people. I pray that that fire never extinguishes, that it only continues to burn brighter, that you really begin to seek God with all your heart and to put Him first in your life.

Args: My prayer for you is that you really find a sense of direction in your life.I honestly don't know what's going on with you anymore...you've literally been ghost. I pray that you don't get yourself into trouble, that you stop hanging with the wrong crowds and start getting your life in order.

Slma: I pray that God really reveals His plan to you, that you receive the growth and nurturing that you desire, that you continue to grow in Christ and open yourself up to His people and fellowship with them as well.

Logic - Feel Good

21 & Done...

Hola...so my birthday's officially over...today was a really fun day. Woke up around 12 ish...hit the gym with my friend...played some ball, got to workout a bit then played some more ball. Then went to the mall and got lunch with him. After that, headed home and chilled a bit...then headed to dinner with the entire fam, all you can eat sushi!!! Met this really cute waiter who I swear was flirting with me the entire night lol...my mom was talking to her about something and she's like yeah I go to York too lol...she's like that's why you look so familiar LOL...after that, came home cut cake and celebrated the night with my fam. Definitely a fun and memorable day...I'm thankful for family and friends...God is good, thank you.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY

So today is my birthday...wow, 21. I woke up right now and I was like hmm...I feel like making a post.So yesterday I hit the gym in the morning and had softball at night. My friend wanted to chill with my and told me he'd drive me from softball, we went to McDonalds for dinner and low and behold...my church friends are there LOOOOL, I always joke about how I love McDonalds and they should throw me a party there...and they actually did LOOOOL....I sat down, the next thing I knew...50 chicken nuggets were in front of my face with like 10 sweet and sour sauce packets LOOOL. Obviously I didn't eat all, I told them to take some here and there...but I know I ate a lot...like less than 40 but more than 30. After that, we went to someone's house for cake and just chilling. We had ate, and my friend tried to cake me....I was watching her to the whole time too LOOOL...she got like the side of my face and my hair -____-. After that, they gave me this sick board game as a girl, a basketball and this mini basketball (which I thought was a rock painted like a basketball at first, but found out was a mini watermelon) LOOOOL. Oh man, today really showed how far I've, we've come...in general as a fellowship...really bonding with each other, and overall how good God is to put people in my life who would do something special like that for me. We ended up playing board games late into the night into my actual birthday...I really thank God for just putting great people in my life who also help guide me in the direction that helps me grow and mature in my relationship with God, pics to come! Can't wait for sushi dinner with the fam tonight, now the only question is do I hit the gym later?

21 Interesting Facts

I was sleeping last night and I randomly thought of this one...LOL

1. I dislocated my knee in grade 10 during basketball tryouts, most painful injury ever...
2. When I was in elementary school, like grade 3 or something...I got an R in science...LOOOOL that's below an F
3. Also in elementary school, there was this new kid...we were playing tag and the new kid ran around the corner and threw a pine cone at my head and I started crying...LOOOL
4, I got detention one time in elementary school for calling this kid gay...LOL
5. The reason I started this blog...and writing...and even rapping...was because of this one dude...who really inspired me back in the day. He was a rapper as well, and his words really hit me and when he started a blog, I did the same...and then everything fell into place lol.
6. I failed 3/4 courses the first semester of my second year...I dropped the other one and took the rest of the year off.
7. The only job I've ever had is paper boy lol...other than that I've only done lots of volunteering and helping out and stuff.
8. Basketball was my first love.
9. I use to have long hair...like spikey hair, but it was super long on the top.
10. http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2011/05/real-talks-of-moment_18.html continues to be the most viewed page on the blog with 5,258 hits
11. I don\t blog about everything that happens in my life or everything that goes on in my head on this blog...
12. On another note though, I'm pretty damn honest on this blog and I really do share a lot on this blog lol, it's like a "digital diary"as my friend once put it.
13. The thought of shutting this blog down has crossed my mind numerous times.
14. I wish all my cousins and relatives from Singapore, Hong Kong and Australia all lived in Canada...it'd just be nice to have like big fam dinners or picnics...and of course to get to know my cousins and chill with them better.
15. I use to chill with this girl in elementary school like kindergarten to grade 4, she use to babysit me...then I moved away. Fast forward to grade like 10 and she found me cuz my school went to her school for some sports game and she saw me...come present time and we're still really good friends and chill even today LOL, talk about childhood friends.
16. I learned how to ride a bike when I was in like grade 7 lol, I first learned to ride a scooter cuz it looked easier and less scary.
17. I got suspended in elementary school one time for getting into a fight...well not really a fight, basically me and some dude were arguing about some call during soccer, he was hitting my back while my hands were pressed against the brick wall, if I let go, my head would've hit the wall, so I turned around and punched him...ended up breaking his nose :S
18. I hate scary/torture movies...can't do Saw or any type of like scary movie...
19. My elementary school teacher/coach and I are still boys, along with a few other of my friends...we chill and text each other here and there, pretty jokes for a teacher/student relationship lol, well not his students anymore..
20. I cut my own hair, seeing as I cut it like what...one-three times a month, I wonder how much money I've saved over the years.
21. I wanted to be play in the NBA in elementary school, no joke...throughout all of elementary school, whenever anyone asked me, that\s what I would tell them.

21 To-Do's...

I'm turning 21 in 3 days, so I randomly thought of this fun activity that also helps you guys get to know me better than you probably already do lol...so here's 21 things I want to do...doesn't have to be in my lifetime, could just be whatever...off the top of my head:

1. sit courtside at a Raptors game
2. shoot a music video for one of my "raps"
3. play ultimate again...it's been a while, not just tossing, but a serious game
4. get deezed...like I've been getting stronger and toned, but I wanna get jacked now
5. go to New York and shop...I don't even know what's there...I just hear that it's bomb
6. visit my old elementary school teacher...I told you me and him are boys...but it's been a while since I've seen him...last summer when me and my friends went to a barbecue at his house...so yeah lol I should get on that
7. go to a concert this summer
8. write a lot more songs
9. chill a lot with the homies, have like game nights, board game nights and sleepovers
10. GET INSURANCE
11. get a job....ASAP
12. get some new ball shoes, so cheesed....my friend lost my outdoor shoes I've had since high school...gonna use my older indoor shoes for outdoor now cuz I have another pair of indoors, but I want new ball shoes lol\
13. chill at the park...I love the park, it's so peaceful, going on the swings, playing grounders
14. fix my TV...it's so hard to game with my TV being messed, long story...but basically the colour's like distorted and ish...cheesing
15. sort things out with my ex...like I honestly don't even know what's going on anymore...she's away for university, but I've been seeing her a lot and chilling and we'll probs chill a lot in the summer...I just need some lines drawn or to know what's happening at least
16. on that note, mend/fix some broken/awkward friendships
17. clean my room and MAINTAIN it...oh man my room is so messy
18. get away from Markham and go on like a roadtrip or something with friends for a few days
19. if I don't get a job, just go OFF at the gym and ball
20. do my best to cut back the unhealthy foods
21. really enjoy and relax this summer

Matt Redman - Never Once

After my friend kept mentioning this song, I listened to it today and he was right lol it's so catchy. But the lyrics are also so powerful...that God is always with us, and though sometimes it feels like trials are too hard or overwhelming and that He's left us, He hasn't. He's always with us, watching over us.

Loaft Life Lately...

What's good...man, so the biggest reason I wanted to get a job this summer aside from the money and the experience is just so I'm not sitting around all summer and wasting my life away. So far, not off to a good start yet lol, the job hunt isn't going too well. Just been chilling at home, gaming, working out and playing ball. But yeah...I've also been seeing my ex a lot and this other girl who had a thing for me in high school as well...and of course with that comes old feelings. But yeah...I was hoping to chill with my friends before my birthday, either Monday or Tuesday,but I have softball Tuesday so we planned Monday, but a lot of them are busy or have work, so I'm kinda discouraged...only thing I'm looking forward too right now is all you can eat sushi on Wednesday for my bday with the fam.

Note To Self...

You know despite whatever I may go through...growing apart from friends, failed courses, more questions than answers, lots of worries...one thing I'm always reminding myself of as of late is that perhaps the plan that I have for myself, the goals I've set, the future I have mapped out in my head...may not be what God has in store for me, His plan and His vision for me may not be exactly the same as mine. But I know His will, His plan and His timing is perfect and I have to have faith in Him in all circumstances. He's guided me and been with me thus far and He never has and never will leave or forsake me. He is a faithful God.

J. Cole - Dollar and a Dream III

Motivational music...been bumping J. Cole's Truly Yours 2 and Logic's Welcome To Forever as of late...

School Year in Review...God is GOOD

Thank God...like praise the Lord. God is oh so faithful and He has never let me down. I think back to this entire school year...all the stress, all the pain, all the confusion, all the hurt that I experienced, endured...and most importantly conquered. I think about failing 3 courses in my second year, I think about losing my wallet and my backpack, I think about being really unsure of my future and scared of my future, I think of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and with school...I think of all the questions I had and how I had no answers. I think about how I really doubted God and how hard my faith was shaken. But towards the end of the school year and even throughout the school year...as everything has finally passed...I look back and think about the things that I missed. It's like when you watch a movie the first time, then watch the same movie a second time, you notice the little things you missed the first time. Looking back at this school year after everything has happened...I realize that I had to endure all those things and all those things had to happen to me in order for me to be where I am today. That I had to fail those 3 courses...because I was lazy and I never took school seriously and God was really trying to give me a wake up call. I saw that despite how deep and dark I fell when I lost my backpack and wallet, that God and my friends were always there and never left my side, no matter if I neglected them or not or acted out of line. I think about all the questions and concerns I had about my future, all the talks I had with the many different people exclaiming how scared I was...and how much I doubted God. God is oh so faithful, I stand before you today...with many of my prayers answered and with some answers, but not all of them. I know God has put and will continue to put me through situations to really prune and mature me as I'm in no way shape or form complete yet. But He will never abandon me...all those tough times were necessary for me to get to where I am today...and it's only now that I'm beginning to understand why I had to go through these certain things. Many conversations, messages and just a bunch of different sources have taught me a lot this past few months...that God is great, that God is awesome, that He is sovereign and He is in control and that His timing is PERFECT. Thank YOU for never letting me down even when I turned my back on you.

Phases of Loneliness

You know when you're lonely, you're the most vulnerable cuz you act on emotions and you essentially fall the the first person you confide in. Well, I've been reflecting as of late...and the girls that I liked or at least thought I liked...the only girl I know for sure that I really liked was my high school crush. Everything after that was just a feeling, me acting on emotion. Like I was thinking of the last few girls that I somewhat fell for...and it was at a time where I was feeling pretty down or stressed...and they were there for me and I confided in them. I guess there's a difference between liking someone and someone simply being there for you and you enjoying their company and the fact that someone's there to listen to you. I can't count how many times after high school that I thought a girl was the one...but when you're lonely or when you're down...your head messes with you, and your guard and wall's are down and you invite people in pretty easily. But even as I'm about to turn 21...I still have lots of learn and I still have a lot of maturing to do.

Softball Season Begins!!!

What's good, today was a great day, woke up and hit the gym by myself, bussed home. Got some food and some snacks and some groceries for my dad. After that, I pretty much just loafted around home until like 5 ish then my friend picked me up for our first official softball practice. It was so fun, though not everyone was there...it was great, there was lots of potential and everyone was so excited and enthusiastic about softball. I honestly can't wait for this season, it's gonna be so great to get to know these guys and really help build them up in Christ.

Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Mom

I know I don't usually post mainstream music, but I actually can't stop singing this song...

Post 150k...Where Have I Been?

I just realized I haven't posted since Friday, also the day e hit 150,000 hits, I'm sorry lol. Saturday...worked out int he morning at my friend's church like usual, we went outside and worked out at the soccer field...it was a beautiful day. Other than that I think i just loafted the rest of the day. Sunday...had church and stuff, after that we didn't have worship practice and instead had a prayer meeting, after that we were gonna dip but got called in for some lecture presentation thing...it was honestly like an hour and a half of boring, common sense and useless information. Same night, we went to Dave and Busters to celebrate my friend's birthday, it was so fun lol. It wasn't crowded at all like usual and we got to play unlimited video games. LOL oh right forgot to tell you guys that Saturday night I had messed up my haircut, you know how there's diff blades...well I was doing a 1 and the blade fell off by accident and so there was a small patch of a 0...so I ended up doing a fade but it was crooked lol...my friends told me on Sunday, so went home after church and just shave the whole thing lol. So now Monday...hit the gym with my friend, got some lunch with him and walked around the mall. Then went home and headed to STC for a meetup and to get some gifts for some people, got home around 7:40 or so...just in time for my friend to pick me up for basketball. Tuesday...hit the gym in the morning again...after that I had to bus home cuz I didn't go with anyone and no one could drive me...i hate bussing lol...especially after the gym when I'm super tired. Had a meeting at night and it ended a bit overtime and I had to rush home cuz my friends were waiting for me to go to the movies, went to watch Ironman 3, it was sick lol. Today...hit the gym again in the morning, super serious about getting deezed this summer lol. After, got lunch and headed home. Went out with the fam to celebrate my brother's early bday and early mother's day as well...missed crossfit, was supposed to go for dodgeball but was too tired, now just chilling with my brother and watching Freedom Writers. Sorry I've been so loaft on posting. But one special announcement is...you know how my church retreat is coming up...around end up June, beginning of July...well one of the people in the committee approached me and asked me to rap lol...I said yes and got my friend Eric who performed with my during Christmas to help me out as well, I'm def excited, gotta start writing asap soon though, found a nice beat though. ALSO, tomorrow is our first softball practice, can't wait!!!!!

150,000 HITS

Wha whaaaaat...150k...wow...it's been 3 years and a bit...verging on 4 years...wow. Thank you so much...you guys make this all possible for me. I say it a lot, but without you guys, I know for a fact I wouldn't be as passionate about this as I am, heck...who knows if I'd still be doing it lol. Thank you guys for 3 years of just growth and great memories. If I ever stop doing this, I know I'm going to look back and be like wow...this is like a timeline of my life lol...damn. But I always try to think of the bigger picture and be really humble with what God's given me, as appreciative as I am, I know this is just the tip of the iceberg and this blog is just a door for many opportunities to come knocking and wherever God leads me with this blog, I know it'll all be in His plan for me. Thank you guys for making this all possible. Thank you for supporting me regardless of what the situation is. Thank you God for giving me the strength to continue to do this despite the recurring thought of what if I stopped blogging lol...to sum it up, thank you guys, you mean the world to me. :)

Flopped Plans..

It's one thing for plans to flop, like your friend calls you the morning of and goes yo we can't go or something. But when plans flop AS they're about to happen...wow that's a cheeser. So today, I went to the mall with my friend, picked up some protein, got a chance to just chill with him before he heads to work for co-op, always fun. After, headed downtown with 2 friends to meet up with our other friends to go this coffee shop place where you can play board games...so we got there around 5 ish I believe or so...go there and turns out our friends are all already there sitting at a table and it's full, only 6 per table.So we had to split up and wait for a table which would take another like half hour. What was cheesing was that nobody like told us the table was full or nobody even helped up reserve a table, so we were kinda cheesed at our friends, but it was also our fault for going so late, but it was just really annoying that no one like bothered telling us the table was full and so we essentially came downtown for nothing. So the 3 of us...ended up walking downtown for like 2-3 hours around...waiting for THEM to finish playing board games and we met up with them for dinner. It was just an overall cheese day...I wasn't mad, but the more I thought about it, the more annoyed I began to get lol...but I like to look on the brighter side of things...I got to chill with my 2 friends and talk with just have a good time with them, especially since we haven't really had a chance all 3 of us to just chill and stuff lately...the only downer is we essentially went downtown for starbucks, to walk around and have dinner..which could've all been done at home lol...def deja vu of our Niagar trip which was mad flop, but I won\t get into that lol.

Work Life...9 - 5...

Sometimes I wish being a blogger could be a professional job, like I could be like Perez Hilton or something lol, but I don't talk about daily news or celebrity gossip, I just talk about my own life lol. I've never had a real legit job in my life...amd I'm turning 21 soon lol, I've only been a paper boy. I've helped out in my dad's retail store before, I've done lots of volunteering with kids and coaching and teaching, but never a legit job. I dunno...I just never felt the urge to lol. But this summer I really want to work, not even just for the money, but moreso so I'm not just loafting around at home all summer. But I hate, absolutely hate when people hassle me about getting a job or working...not even just my parents, but my friends or whatever, even if it's just a joke, it's annoying as heck. But anyways...I applied for this public outreach job downtown, where you pretty much call or go door to door for donations...my boy applied and got it and told me to apply too. They called me yesterday about the job but I was sleeping, I'm debating whether I should call them back or not.The job is downtown first of all, 5 days a week and like a 9-5 kind of job...not only is the timing and schedule not good cuz I'm gonna have softball and I have fellowship as well, but the commute sucks and I'm not sure if it's something I actually wanna do, I know I can't be picky when it comes to work, but I can't see myself going door to door or calling people for donations. I hate those people who do that, I never pick up or answer my door...if God leads me to a job this summer, than I'll work, if not I really hope he calls me into doing something else, something productive this summer.

J. Cole - It Won't Be Long

With J. Cole dropping Truly Yours 2 yesterday and his album Born Sinner coming out in June, rather than post a track from Truly Yours 2, I wanted to post one of my favourite J. Cole songs, he really is beginning to become if not is already my favourite artist...

No New Friends, No No New...

LOL so yeah, don't take the title too literally lol...so what have I been up to lately...well yesterday was a fun filled and active day. Hit the gym in the morning and worked chest, then got some lunch with my friend, rested a bit and then went to play ball outside for a few hours with my friends, came home got some food and went to church and play some ball at church lol. Today was a real fun day as well...my friend who goes to university in Ottawa was back in town and came over today, we chilled for a good like 4-5 hours. We played games and at the same time just had a good time to catch up and talk about a lot of things. We were just sharing about how we've been doing and what we've been doing...we started talking about memories and stuff lol. At the end, he told me that he's glad we're still friends and that we still keep in touch and still chill. That really hit me lol...cuz we did talk about falling away from friends and how we were close to some people but we went our separate ways. So it was nice when he said that, just to think about how we've known each other since high school and we still talk and chill and are close and stuff. It's even more encouraging to hear from him that he's been growing and really walking with God again, it was definitely good to hear that and that he may want to come to my church as well. But yeah, I told you guys I got a lot of things to talk about, this is just one that happened today and something I wanted to talk about right now before I forgot. One thing I said to him was that though it sucks that you grow apart from certain people, certain people that you were really close to or have known for a long time, I'm so thankful to God and just really appreciative or the relationships I do have and how God has really distanced me from certain people, but brought me closer to other people. He's really surrounding me with people who will support me and guide me close to Him and that's really encouraging to know.This year has been a long, hectic, stressful and overall hard year in terms of faith, but God has been so faithful...and that's a topic for another time...but yeah, I'm slowly putting all my chips into His basket, as I should and always should.