Hillsong - From The Inside Out

This song is really speaking to me at the moment..."a thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...and should I stumble again, still I'm caught in Your grace."

Today...

What's up, my bad for no posts yesterday, I was literally out all day and had no time whatsoever. Went out early to church cuz the praise team was leading so had to practise before hand. I was so tired the whole morning, was yawning non-stop...almost fell asleep on numerous occasions. After church, found a small rip in my nice leather jacket :(. Went to some noodle place for lunch, didn't have practise today. So chilled with friends, first we were gonna go ball, but decided to chill at my house for a bit, watch some ball then went to the park to walk around. Then went for subway cuz they were hungry, but I just chilled. Met up with another friend who was free and she wanted to chill. Went to a nearby school and played some basketball, just shot around and stuff...it was fun lol. A car pulled up and some dude was waving...stuck his head out and it was my friend who I hadn't seen it quite some time. Played with him and his boys a game and a bit, then left with my friends. My other friend called me  up and asked if all of us wanted to go for wings and we did, went to wings, ate, got full. It was like 8 ish or 9 ish. We were like hey wanna watch a movie at someone's house lol so we did, hit up Sobeys and got some snacks...went back to my friend's house and we watched The Dark Knight cuz my friend has never seen it. After it was like 12 ish...decided to play Taboo, it's like a guessing game, there's a word and you're not allowed to say certain words and have to give clues so the people can guess it.  Played that till like 2 ish, got home around 2:30 ish. During the car ride home, my phone battery died...went home, charged it, showered, came out and it was like 3 am already. Looked at my iPhone and it wasn't working...it was stuck in recovery mode, plugged it into restore and it still didn't work, kept repeating this. Switched USB's...used my mom's laptop, my desktop...nothing worked...tried this for an hour, gave up and went to sleep at 4. Woke up at 1 today hoping it would be fixed but it was still messed. Called Apple's tech support and you have to pay $35 or they won't even talk to you...CHEAP MOFOS. Called the Apple Store for help and he just said, make an appointment and come in...THANKS FOR THE HELP...gloomy day outside, boring day, loaft day. Phone doesn't work...been on my laptop since 1...sigh. On a brighter note though, I was talking to my friend and I told him about my phone and he's like I can drive you tomorrow if you want...DOOOOOPE, I love when friends come CLUTCH.

Random Thoughts

Check out the poll of the week...at dinner yesterday, we were talking about the Toronto Raptors and got into this major debate about whether they would make the playoffs hahaha, what's your take on it? Answer on the poll to the left under the hits bar.

Today...

My bad for no posts these past few days lol...lemme try to remember what happened. Thursday...hmm, I don't think I did anything actually lol. I gamed for most of the day then went to ball later that night. It was a real good turnout since everyone is done or near done exams, so we had enough for 3 teams of 5. On Friday I had my driving test in the morning. I failed...went too slow 3 times, but major mistake was it was green, went for a left turn, turned yellow, this dude oncoming was making a complete stop so I went for my turn, then last minute he decided to go and the examiner hit the brakes...and after that he's like just drive back to the facility...so waste. It was really frustrating because it was pretty easy and I know I could've passed. I was really upset and angry at first, came home and yelled at the top of my lungs. Anger moved to depression and disappointment and I just sulked for the rest of the day, up until fellowship that night. I had been tweeting my sadness that whole night and during fellowship, I was really out of it, on my phone most of the time. When my friend texted me, just really supporting and encouraging words, telling me that the only person that was disappointed in me was myself...and he was so right...my parents, brother, instructor...they were all understanding and supportive, I was just really hard on myself and disappointed in myself. But yeah, so come today, this morning...went to Scarborough Chinese Baptist Church for some softball meeting/workshop kinda thing, it was from 10 am to 4 pm...got a ride there, but had to bus back -_-. Saw some poeple I knew, some people who knew me saw me and met some cool people as well, it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, church tomorrow...glad there's no practise, but have to wake up early for the third day in a row -_-...

Today...

Sup...woke up at like 8 today to go to the washroom and then couldn't go back to bed. Watched stuff on my laptop till like 11 ish then fell back asleep till like 1. Woke up, went to play ball with my friend from like 3 till 6 ish. Biked home, had driving at 6:30, driving test on Friday, wish me luck, fingers crossed. After driving, had dinner, showered, now just chilling, so tired...

LOL of the Moment

David So and Jayesslee do a hilarious collaboration video. Mad jokes..."what material is this?" "Cotton?" "BOYFRIEND MATERIAL!" Hahahah, they're soooo cute.

Today...

Whaaaaaaaaat's up? Today was a gloomy day again, but a productive one at that. Woke up at like 1 ish, not productive I know, but it gets more productive. Brother texted me that he wanted to play ball after work. So I played ball outside by myself from like 4-6. Then played with him from 6-7...when we went to this court around our area, the weather was HORRIBLE. As soon as we left, it started raining real bad, got out of the car and were like...we're already here, might as well play. Rain stopped for a bit, sunshine for like 5 min, rain for like 20 min, sunshine for like 10 min, rain for like 10 min, not cool. Had a meeting at 7, went home to shower, got to the meeting at like 8 ish. Finished up and hit up half price wings with them at like 9:30 ish and just came home like half an hour ago. Mad weird cuz when my friend dropped me home, there were 4 cop cars in the streets...weird.

From The Heart: Ride or Die

This is for all my ride or die homies out there. Don't get offended now, when I say homies or mans it refers to my girls as well...don't get emotional LOL. But yeah...this is for my ride or die homies. Too many times, when you've got something good going for you or when you have something people want...they'll cling to you, but when you lose it or when you fall off the ladder, they'll swarm away like you've got the chicken pox or something. Those aren't real friends. Yeah I'll acknowledge them and the fact that they're there and supporting me on my highs, but where are they to be seen when I'm at my lows. This is for all my RIDE OR DIE homies...there through THICK AND THIN. Those who don't care if I'm at my highs or lows, they're there for me regardless. These are the people I'd go to war with, take a bullet for and be there in the drop of a dime. They're hard to find, hard to come by, but so rewarding and satisfying when you find them or build up to them. I've got a good circle of homies, again...guys and girls...who are RIDE OR DIE. They're there for me no matter what. No matter if I make a decision, they'll be straight up with me, but out of love, they're not going to ditch me because of one stupid decision, one argument or one time I make them mad. These are my RIDE OR DIE homies. My RIDE OR DIE girl has to be the same, support me, lift me up in my time of need, that's when I need you the most. I dunno, I was just reminiscing of all the old days with my friends who I still know to this day, all we've been through, seen and experiences together. I cherish, love and appreciate my RIDE OR DIE homies so much...they re always there for me, some of them I may not even keep in constant communication, but I know if I hit them up, they're there for me...cuz they're RIDE OR DIE...a bond like that doesn't just sever cuz you don't talk for a short while...these are my brothers and sisters, it's a bond, a connection...it's love, a family. Not too sure what got me into this topic, I was just thinking of all the tough times I've had, how I felt like I would never get through it, how I felt like I would be stuck on it forever, but here I am...I made it, with great help too.

This is for any of you out there going through a tough time. You're scared, nervous, afraid that you're not going to get over it, that it won't be fixed, that you're going to be like this forever. Do me a favour, close your eyes, think back to a time when you were at your lowest point...remember how you felt, what you said, how you thought you'd never overcome it. Now open your eyes, look at yourself today...you stand stronger, more confident, more experienced. At the moment, a crisis can seem like the end of the world, but you can conquer it...too many times our mind makes it a bigger deal that it actually is. Take a deep breath, take a step back and you'll see it really isn't that bad, that impossible, that unconquerable. You've made it this far, conquered too many obstacles, passed too many tests to give up now. Believe in yourself, life hasn't gotten any easier, you've just gotten stronger.

Today...

What's up, today was a really gloomy day. Woke up at like 1, I was really super tired, had driving at 2:30. Sweat it was snowing for a bit...but it rained most of the day, had to drive in the rain as well, I'm pretty confident about my driving test Friday but I'm also iffy ish about some parts, whatever happens happens though, pray that I pass it on my first try. Wanted to play ball today, but it was gloomy and wet outside all day, rained most of the day, sucks. Just loafted on my laptop all day, gamed for a bit. Really need my license so I can go places by myself lol.

Motivation of the Moment

Ray Lewis is one of the most feared linebackers in the NFL, for good reason. Dude is just raw aggression and intensity. Known for his pumped up and hyped attitude and his motivational pre game and locker room speeches. Here's one of his speeches to a college basketball team before their game...

Lloyd - You feat. Lil Wayne

Today...

Was a tiring day, had church...woke up literally at 9:10, it starts at 9:30...got dressed, ate food and made it on time lol. I have things to talk about but I can't remember right now...cheeeeesed lol. Shoooooot, this is gonna annoy me...you know when you forget something...can you try really hard to remember it and you can't like continue with whatever you're doing until you remember it? That's me -_-....but uh...after church, played ball at like 7 ish till 8 ish...it was real relaxing, I shot around and stuff for a good half hour, then the sun started to go down so I started dribbling up and down my street for another half hour. It was really relaxing and calming, just waking back and forth dribbling the ball. Anyways...yeah...later...LOL.

Logic - All I Do

Today...

What's good, today I woke up at like 10 ish. Funny story, kinda...I had driving at 11 am, so I set 4 alarms 10:00 am, 10:10 am, 10:20 am and 10:30 am and I ended up waking up at like 10:40 -_-...but yeah, had driving class...test is on Friday I believe, got another class Monday, that might be my last, unless we can squeeze another one in between. I'm nervous, yet excited to get my license haha. Today after driving class, I just chilled and loafted. Watched stuff on my laptop, played some xbox...now I'm watching UFC 145...Jon Jones vs Rashad Evans...gonna be a dope match.

Real Talks Of The Moment

The dude Timothy Dela Ghetto speaks about Haters...preach brother preach.

The Weeknd - The Knowing

The Weeknd is one of those very few people, along with like Frank Ocean and others...who's voice is just so soothing, damn.

This Summer...

This summer, I'm hoping to get so much done hopefully, but also keep some of the things in my daily routine. I def wanna keep playing ball for SURE, chill with friends, game, Tuesday movies, workout, get a job. But besides the ordinary...I'm gonna be playing softball for CCSA (Chinese Christian Softball Association) again this year, not going to have the best team, but it should be fun. Hopefully I'll have my license soon, in a few weeks, so i can drive whenever the car is around. My friends wanna sign up for an ultimate frisbee league which would run once a week for 15 weeks so if that goes through, that'll be sooooo fun. Hopefully if I get a job, I can somehow manage my time for all these things as well cuz I really do want a job lol, I need money. What else...um, just rereading the Random Thoughts post below...I really wanna catch up with a lot of people and also maintain with a lot of people...I'm def gonna use this summer to rekindle, strengthen and secure a lot of friendships and relationships in my life. I feel like a lot of people are so caught up in meeting new people and meeting new people of the opposite sex that they completely ignore dying relationships right in front of them. Don't get me wrong though, I love meeting new people, but I'm very content with the people I have in my life atm. I just wanna catch up with so many people, reassure them that we're still very close, I'm there for them...and hopefully vice versa. I wanna continue building and strengthening the friendships that I've built...and really just have fun, chill...play games, board games, have sleepovers, have deep talks, go for food...all that stuff. I love chilling with friends...as fun and exciting as parties, clubs and all that stuff is...I really do love the simple things...just chilling at somebodies house...watching movies, ordering food, talking, laughing, cooking, gaming...all that stuff...I love it. Here's to a memorable, fun and long lasting summer.

LOL of the Moment

Chris Rock on how NOT to get beat up by the police...haha mad jokes...

Random Thoughts

I feel like a lot of people are drifting away...from me, from church, from who they were...I dunno. People are leaving for university, coming back from university...as different people. People are suddenly changing their feelings about certain things and people...and just leaving without no notice. Though I've drifted away from lots of people, I still keep tabs on a lot of them, because I still care about them...and at one point we were really close, so they mean a lot to me. It's just hard knowing that I can't do much to help them, or when I do try to make an effort, they back away cuz of our history and they make things awkward you know. This summer, a major goal of mine is to rekindle a lot of those relationships that have been severed...just to be a better person and more importantly a better friend. I need to practise what I preach. If you really care about someone, you'll do what it takes to make them happy and see them happy, even if it means you don't get to see them or whatever. You'll go out of your way for them to be a good friend, it won't matter if they reciprocate because you aren't doing these good these to get a reaction, you're doing it because you're a good friend. As for the people drifting away...in different aspects, I continue to just pray and hope for the best...that they'll come back, that things'll be better, I sometimes make people's problems my own and stress over them...only because I don't wanna see them have to stress over them when I'd gladly be there to lift the burdens for them. But in all circumstances, every good and bad thing that happens is for a reason...every person that enters and leaves your life is for a reason, don't sweat it...it's all for the greater good in the future. Don't worry about something that's already happened or something that you can't change...there's no point, work towards a better future. "What's sunshine with no rain, what's good times with no pain." - J. Cole

Drake - What If I Kissed You

Apparently this song is called "Just Be Mine"...whatever, either way it's a dope song, I told y'all I like it when rappers sing, not sure why lol it's a good change I guess.

Picture of the Moment

If you never watched Dragon Ball Z as a kid...smh at you, that was a craaaaazy show...all time best cartoon or anime ever. Best thing ever was turning super saiyan...who didn't wanna go and turn super saiyan?

Frank Ocean - We All Try

My bad for no posts today, was a lazy day till the evening. Loafted the whole day, just chilled, watched stuff on my laptop. Had basketball at 8 and it was real fun, was definitely on my game...when I struggle, I get down and sulk and stuff...I just have to push through that phase and play my game, don't let it mess with my head. Afterwards, my friends came over and we had food and gamed into the night haha, left at like 12:30 and finally took a shower and now it's like 2 ish. But yeah, Frank Ocean is just so dope, he uses Tyga's Reminded instrumental...soothing.

LOL Of The Moment

At the gym...HAHA found this sooo funny

From Me To You..

If you're a friend of mine...and we talk on a consistent basis or somewhat at least. But instead of asking me "hey how are you?" or "hey what's up?" You're a BAD friend! If you have time to come to this blog to read my posts and "see" how I'm doing...you have time to message me and talk to me in real life. Don't give me the "well you're more open on the blog"...well maybe you're just not trying hard enough to talk to me...it just annoys me when "friends" are like...hey how are you...I read your blog and saw this or that was happening...like you couldn't have started an actual conversation with me to find that out yourself? If I didn't write about those things, how would you know what was going on in my life. Step your game up...c'mon son!

- directed to no one in particular...just people who come to this blog to "see" how I'm doing INSTEAD of directly asking me

LOL Of The Moment

ESPN commercial...hahaha poor dude's name is Michael Jordan and everyone thinks it's the greatest basketball player of all time...boy are they disappointed...

D-Pryde - Bottom Dollar

This song is dope...I love when rappers sing...is that weird? Like I love when Drake sings...maybe that's why I like D-Pryde a lot, cuz he does more than just rap, who knows...can't believe this dude is one year younger than me, anyways...this is real dope.

Picture of the Moment

I thought this picture was sooooo sick, found it on Tumblr. If you watch Naruto, you'll know these are the members of the Akatsuki..aka the bad guys LOOOL, but yeah...this is a cool gif.

Interesting Facts

So this is the most viewed post on this blog, it has been viewed OVER 3000 times...damn that's a lot LOOOL
http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2011/05/real-talks-of-moment_18.html

This is the second most viewed post which has been viewed over 1000 times...lol that's pretty cool to me, that it's something this motivating and inspiring lol cuz both these posts really do speak volumes.
http://thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca/2011/10/real-talks-of-moment_10.html

From The Heart: The Future

It's 6 am right now, I randomly woke up cuz I couldn't sleep, this was on my mind. I've talked about this with friends before and talking about it again yesterday made me really...confident is the word I'd use I guess about the future. I failed 3 courses last semester and I realized I wasn't into what I was doing, bored, not interested and ultimately couldn't see myself continuing on with it. So come 2nd semester when I was taking the 2nd level of those 3 courses, I decided to switch majors from Kinesiology into Concurrent Education (Teaching). So because my GPA was low cuz I failed those 3 courses, I could've continued with the 2nd level of those 3 courses only if I knew I would do well and boost my GPA, because I felt I wouldn't be able to do that, I decided to drop all of them which is why I have so much free time as of late. But yeah...just me switching majors, already being behind, probably gonna graduate later...had me thinking of the future. It's really hard and stressful right now, not knowing if I even got into the program yet...knowing that I'm gonna have to start at the beginning with a minor head start. Like...my friends graduating before me isn't even that big a deal to me, part of it is, but it's not the biggest thing. Yeah I get annoyed knowing some of my friends don't work hard, yet stil make the grades and make it look easy, but I don't hold it against them. I'm just kinda annoyed I switched halfway into my uni career...but I constantly remind myself that it's better to switch into something you like right now than realize this when I graduate and have to force my self to do it for 4 years and realize I don't like it. But just talking with my friends, but the future and after university...like realistically speaking, unless we really really really eff up everything, none of use are gonna be failure...by failures, I mean like homeless or bums or something. I feel like we all have the common sense, social skills and connections to be well off you know? I know all of us will succeed, it just depends how well and how much. So yeah, right now it seems hard...but it's like a novel you know, this is the climax of our lives...so obviously it has to be a little exciting. Life, like a rollercoaster would be no fun if it only went up...or only went down. It's the downs, the pains and the heartaches in life that makes you appreciate the joys and blessings. You can't have a rainbow without any rain. Or like J. Cole said, to appreciate the sun, you gotta know what rain is. But yeah...on to another note, I feel like certain areas in university like business or law...no offense to you guys...but unless you're really top and up there in your program...you won't find a decent job, now this is just my assumption, no proof or statistics, but it's hard for sure. Unless some company like picks you up before you even graduate and hands you a job, it's tough out there, I know it's tough like that for everyone, but still. I just don't wanna be one of those people who graduates and does something entirely different than what they went to university for...makes you seem like you wasted 4 years of your life with something irrelevant. But yeah...another thing is, no matter how smart you are and how many math equations you solve...in most cases at least...you'll survive longer with good communication and social skills and also who you know. Granted some areas, it's solely academics and stuff like that. But in a world like this...it's a lot about street smarts, if you know how to communicate with people and also who you know. A lot of the times you can be smart, but if you freeze up during an interview or you just don't know how to talk to people, you're sunk. But if you're seen as confident, bold and a genuinely nice person and interactive, people like that. I dunno, that's just me....I know this is so weird cuz it's like 6 am...LOOOOL, but I couldn't sleep and this was on my mind.

Today....

What's up...today was a boring day. Sat at home all day and watched stuff on my laptop...no videogames haha just straight watching stuff. Then had a meeting at church at 7:30 ish, then went to dinner at like 10:30 ish...so jokes, so after dinner we were playing frisbee in the parking lot for 10 minutes ish until my friend got it stuck in a tree -_- we stood there for another 10 minutes trying to see if we could get it down -_- LOOOOOOOL so waaaaaste. But yeah, might join an ultimate frisbee league with my friend and his friends...hopefully I don't take in too much since softball is gonna be tues/thurs nights then some sat/sun afternoons...then if I get a job that's gonna take time too, but ultimate is only once a week int he evening...but if I get a job, I'm worried I won't have that much time for it which is what I don't want cuz as much as a priority softball and ultiamte are cuz I do love sports, I do wanna make money in the summer too lol, we'll see...

Clip Of The Moment

Check out 2 of my boys Ghods and Rudebwoy on Lazy Beatz...a radio station at University of Toronto Scarborough...both of them hit the mic and freestyle for y'all, dope, support the movement!

NBA Clip Of The Moment

Taj Gibson electrifies the Chicago crowd...TWICE...damn.

Today....

What's up...didn't do much today. Woke up at like 11 ish, all I did literally was watch stuff on my computer and play videogames hahaha. It was warm, yet really gloomy and suuuuper windy outside. My basketball net blew over...luckily the car wasn't there...the rim is bent though...have to bend it back -_-...

J.Reyez - There For You feat. Lydia Paek

This song is really deep and I really like it, I started to not really like J.Reyez as much and started listening to dudes like D. Pryde...but J.Reyez really comes with it on this one...and the girl Lydia Paek is really nice on the chorus.

Today....

I'm blogging now cuz people are coming over and I know I'm gonna forget later. Today was a long day, woke up, headed to church early cuz I was chairperson...but the bulletin said someone else's name...but my friend told me it was me. It waas a confusion and I ended up doing it even though my name was on for next week, so hopefully they switch that lol. After church, went to dim sum for lunch with friends...I love slow and relaxed meals...gives time for conversations...not a huge group, small groups are okay, but medium groups are nice...everyone talks, laughs, etc. After that, had praise team practise till like 5-6 ish, headed home and now my friends are coming over to chill...it came outta no where too lol, oh well, I don't mind...but I was planning on cutting my hair today...guess not -_-. Might try to head to the Y tomorrow and sign up, we'll see how things go...

NBA Clip Of The Moment

Derrick Rose has a duuuuuuurty crossover...FAST DON'T LIE

Today....

Didn't do much today...my friend left for HK at like 3 today...as much as we joke and I make fun of her, I'm gonna miss her for the month that she's gone lol...hope she doesn't read that or I'll never hear the end of it -_-. Woke up at like 11 ish today cuz I had driving at 12. The lady before me drove a bit more before I drove and this brown lady was crossing the street...she yells out "go back to hong kong, dumb chink." Like wow...people these days...I know racism and stereotypes still occur...but like that's not cool...especially from a grown woman, would she say that in front of her child? C'mon Son! But yeah...dude said I need to practise more and he's gonna try to book my test for May ish or something, hopefully before my birthday since that was my goal...to get my license before my birthday. Afterwards...picked up this cute girl...turns out it was the same girl who kept talking to me last time during my driving class. She gave me her number...LOOOOOOL...other than that, didn't do much today, just loafted and chilled...hopefully gonna try to sign up for the gym on Monday, it's already summer for me...got lots to do, def don't wanna waste my time cuz I know summer's gonna go by quick. Def gonna record more tracks for you guys, get my license, get a job, play softball, hit the gym, play ball, church stuff, chill with friends, tuesday movies...all that good stuff, I'll keep you guys up to speed no need to worry...thanks for sticking by me, means the world to me.

One Direction - One Thing Acoustic

Hope I don't get too much heat for this...LOOOOL screw it it's my blog -_-...you can't deny the dudes are talented and they can sing...damn...and they have like a Justin Bieber fanbase x5 since there's 5 of them...girls go crazy over them no joke...

Yesterday...

My fault for no posts yesterday lol, it always sounds weird cuz it's only like an hour ish into the new day so it feels weird saying yesterday -_-. Woke up today around 7 ish...yeah, not sure why...I slept at 2...loafted on laptop for an hour then went back to sleep. Woke up at 12 ish...that's about right lol. Loafted on laptop some more...so sad that my battery is gonna die soon, about 20 more charges...I've had it since my first year of university...so almost 2 years ish, gonna be such a hassle to get a new batter cuz it's expensive. But yeah, did nothing productive today, just was too lazy to blog lol my bad, kept putting it off until I left for church and didn't come back till 12 ish -_-. Got driving at 12 later today...need to sleep soon so I'm not tired when I'm driving. Instructor said I'm almost ready and is gonna book my test in about 2 weeks...can't wait to start driving without him hassling me the entire time, it'll be fun and relaxing and def relieving.

Logic - Numbers

This dude is really growing on me...he reminds me of the J. Coles...the Kendrick Lamars...the dudes who rap with substance, who tell a story...who's lyrics really speak to you...

LOL Of The Moment

Sorry for no posts today lol, my bad...here's some Katt Williams to make you laugh...

From The Heart: Self Worth

I've always had this lingering feeling in the bottom of my heart that I was never good enough. In life in general...sports, popularity, girls, school, friends. I've always had this unresolved conflict with myself with whether I was good enough. Good enough to make a sports team, good enough to be friends with certain people, to talk to certain girls, do well in certain subjects, appeal or please certain people. I've had a lot of failures in my life, but who hasn't. Some I brushed off, but some really stung and haunted me and stayed with me even till this day. I pride myself on being the underdog, the dude who wasn't handed anything onto a silver platter, but worked my butt off for everything. I wasn't born exceptionally athletic, muscular, smart, popular, attractive, none of those. Everything in my life, I feel I've earned and worked hard for. The person I've become was a long, painful road full of tears, blood and sweat. I've worked hard to become who I am and earn the respect that people have for me. In elementary school, I was a cocky son of a gun, but who isn't. But I really believed I ran things...it wasn't until grade like 7 or 8...where reality really hit me. Sports was my life, basketball was my life. I've never made the basketball team...in elementary school or high school...despite people's protests to try to get me on, I've never made a basketball team. I've made the volleyball team in elementary school but never in high school. Me being so into sports and competitive, these failures have really stung me and stuck with me...all the people who've ever said they were better than me or that I wasn't good enough, it started to really get to me, you know. Academics didn't bother me too much cuz I knew I wasn't smart...and what are the chances of you being the smartest kid in school...I just tried to slide by with average or slightly above average marks, didn't take school too seriously. But yeah, just this lingering feeling of not fitting it and not feeling up to par with everyone else. I was never the popular kid...I was kinda just the kid in the group, some people noticed me, some people didn't. I dunno, even up to this day, sometimes I still feel not good enough. But I think that's what drives me...as much as I love support and encouragement, I think I really do prefer hate and people trying to bring me down. Even as an athlete, I much prefer a hard coach who'll yell at me and tell me what I'm doing wrong and be honest instead of a coach who'll sugar coat everything to be "nice". I think this whole feeling of not being good enough and my past and everyone not giving me a chance to really be someone and show them I'm worth something...it really fueled me and shaped me into who I am today. I may not be the tallest, the strongest, the smartest or the most talented, but I definitely am gonna work harder than everyone else, maybe because I have something to prove...maybe because I'm not gonna be belittled...maybe cuz I want the spotlight...I dunno...maybe it's a mix of all those things. I'm not saying I wanna be the star...I'm saying, I'm gonna work harder than you...and I'm gonna amount to more than you thought I could. Maybe it's cuz I love proving people wrong...I dunno, deep inside, maybe it's cuz I have to prove to myself...that I was good enough to make those teams, be popular...or whatever. That's why I work hard at everything I do and that's why I'm really competitive, not to win or anything...I obv don't liek losing...but like...all my life, I was labelled as never good enough, almost there...but not quite, maybe next year, try harder, you''ll never be good enough. Those words always replay in my head and that's motivation for me, I love the support...but I prefer being kept down...cuz it pushes me to keep going and never give up...to be better and to show them I can do better than what they thought I could do...that's just me, I know a lot of these rants are really jumbled and here and there and jumpy from place to place...my bad lol, these are just thoughts in my head trying to get out, thanks for reading if you made it all this way.

One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful Cover

i'm gonna show you 2 covers....one by Cimorelli and one by Meagan Nicole...I first heard this song when Meagan Nicole covered it...then I searched for the original and more covers as well. The original is dope, dudes can sing, but the covers by these girls are reeeeally good as well.

Cimorelli


Megan Nicole - is she not the cutest thing ever...

Random Thoughts

Watching Training Day atm, my bad...was gonna blog about ome things but I'm into this movie cuz my bro said it's a sick movie...I'll blog either later tonight or tomorrow haha, I'll do my best for tonight after the movie, thanks

J. Cole - Sideline Story

Good morning to you...woke up to J. Cole tweeting about this video dropping...this dude is actually my fave now...his lyrics are just on a whole other level....damn

J. Cole - Like A Star

It's a Cole kinda day...one reason why J. Cole is probs my favourite right now atm cuz his lyrics go so hard...they tell a story...they're meaningful...they have substance.

J. Cole - I'm Coming Home

Morning motivation... "to appreciate the sun, you gotta know what rain is." damn...love Cole....

Random Thoughts

Since when did they change the blog to .ca? It use to always be .com...if you type in .com it'll still work, but it shows up as .ca.....DA EFF...say it out loud...thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.com...now say thebestyouneverheard.blogspot.ca...doesn't the second one sound super dumb...sigh -_-

D-Pryde - Not Over

I like this and I like that Demi Lovato is in the chorus as well...

Yesterday...

What's good, my bad about yesterday but it was a REALLY long and eventful and spontaneous day lol. woke up at 7:30 to head to church for our Easter Sunday worship. After church, went to some pho place at pmall for lunch. Thought that was gonna be my day there, just head home and game or chill. But instead people wanted to chill out together, so I went with my friend, thought we were gonna do something outdoors cuz they wanted to. Ended up going to my friend's little sister's birthday party with my other friends LOOOOL. First we just helped out then expected to go on our own and do our own thing, then they invited us in lOOOL, so we stayed for the party and it was fun hahah, had fun conversations and everything. After that, we were gonna chill at someone's house, but it kinda flopped, so we were all ready to head home, then the plan suddenly became let's go to my house LOL which I didn't mind, so people were about to leave, but we called them back and were like wanna come to my house? So yeah they call came over to my house, we played videogames, talked, laughed...it was a great night. Slowly people started leaving and we just chilled into the night like 8 ish...then more people left and I was like alright, that should be the night...but then the idea was pitched let's go to Korean Barbecue...LOOOOOL, at first I wasn't down for it cuz I was tired, exhausted and in the same clothes since the morning, but we went...and it was soooo worth it, cheaper after 10, and I was hungry since I hadn't eaten since lunch...it hit the spot soooooo bad. Got home around 12 ish...power napped for a bit, showered at 1...then finally went to sleep....woke up today at like 1 ish...lol told you it was a long day...

LOL Of The Moment

I'm dying....hahahhahaah

Picture of the Moment

Swaaaaaaaaag....this dude's a bosssssss!

Taylor Swift - Sparks Fly Cover

Found this a while ago and I have so many songs on my iTunes that this randomly came on and I was like, oh wow...I remember this...the girl's name is Julia Sheer and the dude's name is Tyler Ward

Today....

What's up, woke up today and it was a real loaft day...my body is just recovering from the soreness, fatigue and minor injuries. Had driving had 4:30, I think I'm almost ready for my test since he took me to this really crowded place with lots of cars and he said a while ago when he takes me to that place, it means I'm almost ready...dope. Just got maybe a few more lessons to fine tune everything he taught me then do insurance classes whenever as well. Can't believe it's already summer, got so much time but I know it'll go by really quickly so gotta use it effectively. Timmies called me today cuz my friend hooked me with a job, and they aren't hiring for 3 weeks but the girl was like I'll call you then, dope...hopefully I have this in the bag, we'll see...in the meantime, need to sign up for the gym on Monday.

Inspiration Of The Moment

Derrick Rose's MVP speech from last year...wow...so inspiring. Just to see how humbled and appreciative he is...of everything, to God, his teammates, coach, his family, his mom...seeing his get teary eyed actually made me get that feeling in my stomach as well, just wow.

The Natural - All Night feat. Traphik, Stopha

This song is really catchy haha, I like the chorus and Traphik's verse is dope as well. This was on his new mixtape...it's def worth checking out imo.

Yesterday...

The title is yesterday cuz it's 2 am so its the next day -_-....my bad for no posts until right now but today was really a LONG day...no exaggerations. Woke up at 8 after sleeping at 2. Went back to bed and woke up at 1 ish. Had to be at church at 1:30. Brushed teeth, changed, ate food, made it to church at 1:45 ish. Had a meeting before praise team practise and talked about a lot of things, I was physically there and like I heard and took in a lot of the things and comprehended it, but my mind was really elsewhere, just thinking about my life as a whole and re-evaluating it I guess. But yeah...meeting till like 5 ish, practised till 6 ish, went to dinner with them, came back to church at 7. Got changed for fellowship at 7:30 and performed and had a nice and thought provoking message that's for sure. Yeah I was tired and zoned out a couple of times, but I managed to really take in and focus on the parts that seemed to apply to me the most...God works in wondrous ways I guess. But yeah, finished church at like 10 ish...didn't go out with them for desserts, too tired. Physically tired and just exhausted, shoulder hurts from some dude pushing me into the wall during ball when I was going for a lay up, body is sore, feet hurt and have blisters...needed to just head home and shower and relax...need to sleep in tomorrow and have just some me time...got driving at 4:30...got nothing else planned tomorrow and hoping to keep it that way, I need some rest and relaxation!

From The Heart: Close Friends

I feel like I always need somebody, whether it's one person or a select few who get me. Everybody has to have those kinds of people, who they can tell absolutely anything to and vice versa...share their deepest darkest secrets with...and just be themselves around, no boundaries. Yeah, I've lost some of these friends, but I've also gained some of these friends. It wasn't until today...where I just felt really out of it...people around me were talking but all I could think about were these 2 people. I've been through lots of both of them. Been really close with both of them but also been really distant with both of them. At one point in my life, I was really closer to person number 1, but time passed, things changed, we changed...and I slowly drifted away from this person. Me and person number 2 have never been as close and as tight as me and person 1 were, but we have been there for one another and trust one another, with both people, I've had my ups and downs...but those are necessary for a healthy friendship. As of late...present time...me and person 1 are more of acquaintances if anything, it's kinda sad actually...knowing what we've been through and the times we shared, to know that we barely talk and when we do it's only casual conversation. But me and person 2 are really finding comfort and trust in one another...at least I feel that way. I'm feeling really close to person 2 and can really trust and depend on this person. I can be myself around this person, we joke...laugh...disagree...fight...but it's all in love. So I dunno...today I was just thinking like...woah...am I replacing person number 1 with number 2...to kinda fill that void that number 1 had left in my heart. Someone was sharing something today and she was crying, talking about losing friends and how it hurts...and how she never really got over it...she never really fixed it or found a way to deal with it...it really hit me...that me and person number 1 were kinda in the same boat. Instead of trying to sort things out...was I really trying to just ignore it and fill that void with another person. No disrespect to person number 2 cuz I love this person to death...but like...I dunno, I just really reevaluated things. I zoned out and went into my own little bubble...just thinking about the times me and person 1 shared and the times me and person 2 shared...yeah it was so fun, so happy, so enjoyable. But like...the past is the past...I'm learning to take and heed the advice I give to others. One is to not live in the past...but to create a brighter future. Those to live in the past are doomed to repeat it. Why dwell in the past if it's sad when you can create a happier future. Or if the past is happy and bright...build for a happier and brighter future. But that's just me, I dunno...

LOL Of The Moment

Saw this on facebook...when you go out with your friends, what people think...

Selena Gomez - Love You Like A Love Song Dubstep Remix

I've been really into dubstep lately, always had a small thing for it...but my brother is always blasting it in his room, so it's hard to ignore, but yeah found this...

Today....

What's up...today was a long day. Woke up at like 12 ish, chilled cuz I had driving class. After driving class, Friends asked if I wanted to go for dinner before ball, went to get some food, didn't wanna eat too heavy cuz I had ball. It was fun though, had laughs and good talks. Lead devo for ball, def a good one imo...I liked it at least, just talking about people who use their talents to glorify God whether it be basketball, art, music, etc...but yeah my body is so sore, feet are aching -_-.....long day ahead of me tomorrow...

Frank Ocean - 4 Tears

Something about this dude's voice is amazing...I love his voice...he's actually one of my top R&B singers atm...damn

Melanie Fiona - 4AM

It's just a real musical kinda day for me you know, been out all day, so been jamming to tunes all day...heard this one on the radio, I knew she was talented...I liked "It Kills Me", but when I heard this on the radio I was actually blown away. Her voice is just powerful...damn

Day 26 - Radio

It's sad that Que left the group, but nonetheless, they're still at it making music. Recently got back into downloading music, so definitely have a lot to catch up on, but yeah Day 26 has a new album coming soon and this should be on the new album...it's dope, definitely reminds me why I like them so much.

Today....

Was a solid day actually. Woke up, went to lunch with my rents and their church friends, one who just came back from China, so my dad was pretty happy cuz that's his boy, sadly he's only staying for a month before he goes back to china. We went to dim sum and it was soooooo good hahaha, one of my friends hasn't tried dim sum and a lot of other asian foods and I was just like oh man, he doesn't know what he's missing out on. Headed to Tim Hortons again for attempt #2 to talk to the manager which my friend set up and last time she flopped and this time was no different, I at least got to talk to the assistant manager who said they supposedly aren't hiring till summer -_-...and the funny thing was even though the manager was really sorry for flopping last time and was supposed to talk to me today, she wasn't even in today...sigh...oh well, whatever happens happens. Headed home and just chilled, worked out a bit. Gotta get a lot of church softball things outta they way, forms and stuff to fill out and ask people from my church if they wanna play. Need to sign up for the gym asap so I can get to legit working out and playing ball again. Sad thing about not working out this whole school year is I'm gonna have to start from ground zero again pretty much -_-

LOL Of The Moment

My brother showed me this movie trailer at dinner, it's called Ted...it's sooooooo funny hahaha Mark Wahlberg's first comedy...Mila Kunis is in it too :)

Today....

Waaaaazzaapppppp! Today was a weird yet unproductive day. Had driving class at 1 and I woke up at exactly 1 LOOOOL, lucky the dude is always late, so got dressed and stuff, ate food then went out at like 1:30. Driving class went by really fast today...he says I'm really good and stuff but he wants to teach me past what's necessary for the G2 test so it'll be easier for me, dope dope dope. Headed home and was gonna loaft and game for the rest of the day, but my friend hit me up and was like yo let's chill at the mall our other friends are there. I was like the mall? That's so waste -_-....whatever, hit up the mall, got some food with the homies...then loafted...for the next 2 hours...loafted, chilled in a car, freestyled, listened to music...loafted, did nothing -_-....ended up just going home and not doing anything. Waaaaaste. Went home, showered, had dinner, now I'm just chilling...

Matt Maher - Chris Is Risen

O death, here is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light.
The glory of God has defeated the night.

Today....

Was a tiring day lol, woke up early to go to church cuz I was leading songs. After church, headed to BTBC for a meeting, saw my ex's cousin who kinda had a thing for me...LOOOOL mad awks, we talked and ish and she might be going on the trip as well -_-. Afterwards, headed back to church for praise team practise, it was long, tiring but fun that's for sure. Now, just home chilling. Tomorrow marks the first day of summer for me...I def wanna keep myself productive...don't wanna sit around the house all day, wanna try to get out often. Besides that, if I am home, I'm gonna blog, tumblr, write music, shoot some hoops and game, def gonna focus on writing music since I have so much time. Other than that, got driving class tomorrow, hopefully movies on tuesday, job interview wednesday, ball thursday, hopefuly add some more things to that list, but for now...just chilling. Hopefully get my license real soon and start driving.