Random Thoughts

No one likes the feeling of being replaced, it sucks knowing someone who meant so much to you and vice versa could replace you so easily without a second though.

We often want what we cannot have or want what we use to have but no longer have even more. When something is just there, it's not desirable, for some reason when someone else picks it up and has it, we suddenly see it's value and want it. You don't know something's true value until you've had and lost it.

I'm a jealous person only in some cases...

As I was sitting thinking in my own little world...the conversation me and my friend had on Tuesday after the movie in his car flashed back in my head. How a lot of my problems are related or derive from a certain group of people. How maybe I involve myself too much with them...well not that, but like...how I get in too deep with them sometimes. A lot of the things I write about on this blog have some sort of correlation that can be traced back to them. I replayed the words he said to me over and over and I took a deep breath, and took a big step back...all the feelings of being replaced, jealousy, want, desire...I took a step back from all that, really distancing myself between these people. Not in a negative kinda way...but it's like...say it's a really cold day...I'm sitting beside a fire place...I'm only trying to warm myself up to the point where I'm comfortable and warm...not to the point where I'm sweating and uncomfortable, you know.

Guys are often stereotyped into not being very emotional or not being very deep...how we only see things on the surface. That's so wrong on so many levels...I myself at least...tend to over analyze even the simplest things and try to find some hidden message behind it. Today...reflecting on the conversation me and my friend had, I took a step back, took a deep breath...and just underanalyzed things and just took things for what they were worth...I dunno.

This summer...after my G2 and my interview for school...I'm gonna be real relaxed and also when I get a job too...I wanna be a good friend, but sometimes...it's like I get all these feelings and I dunno how to explain it you know. The words my other friend once spoke to me also relay in my head...how he just wanted to chill and relax you know...have friends you can talk with and bond with...but also have a good time, friends who aren't constantly bringing you drama...yeah you wanna be there for them, but it's like they're always negative and always looking on the down side of things...you get a 90% and they asked where's the other 10%...those kinds of people. I dunno...I hope no one takes this post the wrong way...cuz surprisingly a lot of people go on this blog, but what's even more surprising to me is a lot of people take the time out to read posts like these lol...who knew y'all would be so fascinated with my life...huh.

But yeah, as for now...I just need to not get in too deep...like my analogy from before with the fireplace, yeah it's fine to get warm, just make sure you don't get over the point and you start sweating and stuff you know?