The Best Advice Ever

I won't lie to you guys, this month has felt like an eternity...it's been such an up and down month emotionally, I've been so all over the place. I told y'all I've been kinda in a funk, going through some things lately. I also said that not much in my life is really a secret...in terms of on this blog or just in person, doesn't take much prying to get me to open up to you...and I guess I can thank the blog for that...for making me very transparent and someone who opens up easily..a strength and a weakness at times. So I shared with some of the kids I teach this past Sunday essentially what's been bothering me. Long story short...I was kinda seeing this girl for a little bit and it didn't work out. She went away to school...so who knows, maybe feelings just died down, timing wasn't right or she wasn't ready...it just didn't work out. It kinda sucks cuz I guess you could I got too emotionally invested into her, into it...too fast...and obvs that took toll on me emotionally. Who knows if she's even gonna read this...if you're reading this, it's too late...cue Drake's 'Hold On We're Going Home'...cuz you're a good girl and you know it...right? Inside joke, only she'll get it if she reads this. But yeah, I guess that's what's been up with me lately...trying to make sense of all that...while having so much on my plate like my brother's birthday, mother's day and of course my own birthday...it was a lot of contrasting emotions that I was feeling all at once lol. 

So I saved this tweet a long time ago, intending on making a post about it...because it's so true. And I think it can't apply to me anymore than it does right now. Again, just the last 2 posts that I wrote...were both pieces I started and never finished and I'm super happy with how they turned out. I look at some of my favourite posts on this blog and the posts with the most views...the above tweet is applicable and relatable...all the stories about girls, all the poems, all the posts where I just pour my heart out. I read this tweet again as I'm writing these words and it hurts my heart to the core y'feel. So now you may be asking yourself...okay Rodmond, so what's the best advice ever. It's something i heard from my boy a couple of weeks ago and probably something I've heard other times as well...simply put...it gets better. With anything and everything in life that you're going through...a break up, an argument, losing a loved one, depression, anxiety, whatever it might be...it gets better. It always does...and that's such a positive mindset and I love it. Because it's easy to wanna sulk in your sadness, but to know that it gets better...that time heals all wounds, is SUCH a comforting feeling. Especially in a relationship standpoint...if it doesn't work out...I was reading that it prepares you for your next relationship...you start to know what you want/are looking for and what you don't want/aren't looking for. That made so much sense to me...not only that, but it also prepares you as a person to be a better half for somebody else, to know okay...maybe I should improve this or do this instead for my next relationship. So yeah, I don't wanna make this too long...I just wanna say that whatever it is you're going through right now...as much as it sucks, as hard as it may seem...it gets better. it always does...keep your head it.

Lost Ones

Told you guys I've been writing a lot...this is also something I started quite a while ago, but never had the heart to finish. But thinking a lot lately...about a lot of people...and I guess this was written with a couple of them in mind, referencing to specific memories that I've been reminiscing upon.

Dedicated to the friends that I hardly see
I really miss the summer nights when it was only you and me

Intimate conversation, I knew something was brewing
Chilling with you, it didn’t matter what we were doing

Family by bond, but at times deeper than blood
Remember throwing around the football, jumping, diving in the mud

It only took a couple months for me to see you as my brother
Late night conversations and home cooked meals by my mother

You understood me, I saw this lasting longer than it did
Remember driving me home in the snow and you almost hit that little kid

I think about you a lot, I really hope you're doing well
Remember the hella lame ghost stories about trees we used to tell

I remember looking at your face, I knew something wasn't right
3 am conversations at the park, I still think about those nights

Life has taken us on different paths that we all gotta go
To the lost ones aka the friends I used to know

Dear Rodmond

So um...you know how I'm usually pretty honest with y'all and I share most of what happens in my life with y'all...well, give me some time...kinda in a weird mind state right now. But, I've been very inspired lately...to write, a lot...and I'll explain more in detail in another post. But uh...this is something that I started like I wanna say at least a month or probably more ago....I had like the first 4 lines down...then today, right now...I was just very inclined and inspired to finish it...it's interesting cuz I remember what inspired me when I first started writing it...and now that I've finished it, it was about something completely different...but it;s still along the same lines...so it kinda flows really well...I dunno, I've read this over to myself a good several time...and I'm just really happy with how it turned out...in my head at least...so yeah.

Dear Rodmond,
Young man, I know you're going through some things

But I got some things to say to you, I'm sorry if it stings

Man up and learn to stand up on your own two feet

This is just one of many times in your life you'll taste defeat

The truth is your friends won't always be there when you need it
You gotta learn to take care of yourself, man I mean it
Heartbreak is gonna hurt, you're gonna know it very well
It'll prepare you for something beautiful in the future, I can tell
Don't let the sadness and uncertainty of life bring you down
The more you wanna soak in it, the likely you are to drown
The glass is always half full, I know that you believe it
Searching for love all your life, I know you’ll soon receive it
It sucks to see how sudden that the tables can turn
But I know you’ll turn it around into lessons you learn
Its okay to be sad, as long as you know that it gets better
The sun comes after the rain, that’s why I’m writing you this letter

Sincerely,
RT

Same Answers, Different Solutions

You know when you're struggling or when you don't know what to do...you go to your friends right...or you go to people you trust for advice. But here's the thing with advice...different people will tell you different things...and also, different pieces of advice are different for each person and each situation. That's kinda what sucks sometimes about getting advice...you get differentiating opinions and perspectives. For me at least...when I'm really stumped...I lean heavily on that advice...it weighs heavily on my decisions and actions. But again, when you go to like 5 different people and get 5 different pieces of advice, you can see how that creates a dilemma. Say if I'm going through a problem and I go to person 1 and they tell me to do this...I go ahead and do it and I'm like oh true. Then I go talk to person 2 and they tell me no, no, no...don't do that...do this, then I go ahead and do this...repeat for persons 3, 4 and 5. See how that kinda poses a problem? I dunno man..when I really don't know what to do...that advice and perspective kinda becomes my own. But I guess I'm kinda learning and kinda being taught that despite the advice that you might be receiving...you're the one who ultimately has to make the decision, take those steps. The advice is just...there, you're not obligated to follow it word for word, you can take pieces that you agree with it, but it doesn't have to become your perspective. Sometimes, you have your own decision or perspective in mind...but it gets changed because you've gone to so many people for advice you kinda forget what you originally wanted to do. Man...it sucks. Every person, every situation, every circumstance is different...in the same way, reading an article about someone who's going through the same or a similar situation as you can be hella helpful or not because everybody is different. The same thing that worked for one person might not work for you, you know. It's like a math question...2 might get the same answers, but they might have solved it differently...dang, I literally just thought of that analogy and I actually really like it. Ultimately, we all have some sort of finish line that we hope to get to...we're all going to get to some sort of finish line, I hope...but each of us is going to get there differently...some slower and some faster than others...each enduring different things. I guess this is me to you, but also a good reminder to myself...that advice is there to help, but you don't have to take it word for word. Like those candies or chocolates restaurants leave at the waiting area...you don't have to take it, it's there if you need or want it. Sorry, I just really like giving analogies and they're all hitting me all at once right now lol. Yeah I dunno...wasn't even sure what I was gonna talk about today...then this kinda just popped into my head...isn't it funny how that works sometimes? See y'all soon, peace!

Note To Self

Hey Rodmond,

I know you're struggling right now...but there's going to come a point in time in the future where you're going to look back on this and laugh...more so you're going to understand why it was all necessary. Cling onto this hope...it may be sometime in the near future, or the far off future...but cling onto the fact that with anything and everything you've been through...there ALWAYS came a point where you were able to look back and laugh...and understand. I know it's tough right now...it feels like the end of the world...it's a familiar feeling isn't it...like we've been here before. There're some things that your friends and family aren't going to be able to help you with...there are some things you're going to struggle and fail real hard...but I promise it's all purposeful to shape you into a better you. I know it sometimes seems unbearable...stay strong, have faith...it gets better, it always does. I'm so proud of the man you're becoming, you still have so much left to learn, to grow, to understand. Sometimes, things might not make sense...and that's okay. Sometimes, the answer might not be in black and white...heck, sometimes you might not even find the answer...and that's okay...have faith that it's okay not to know the answer, it's okay not to understand what's going on at the given moment. After all, faith is being sure of what you hope for and being certain of what you don't see. I promise that all this will serve to strengthen your faith if anything...that this pain, this hardship, this struggle you're going through right now...will all be worthwhile when you finally get to that point where you can look back and laugh and most importantly...understand. For now...don't think so much (as best as you can), stay strong...persevere, have faith.

The People You Surround Yourself With Part 2

PART 1

So now that all the birthday shenanigans are done, I've finally had some good quality alone time to just digest everything you know. I've been hella unmotivated as of late lol...and thus, the blog has suffered greatly. I dunno...there just feels like a lot to do and nothing to do all at the same time. My birthday reminded me of how thankful and blessed I am to be surrounded by such wonderful people. People who have shaped me into the man I am today...people to motivate and encourage me to remain in difficult situations and to persevere. Whether it's a bad situation at work, school, church, whatever it may be...the people in that atmosphere have a significant impact on you and your longevity...meaning the length of time you stay at whatever it is. Take church for an example...people come and go...but I'm so blessed to have a solid group of guys and gals who keep me grounded, who add to my purpose and who lift me up when I fall down. I'm just really thankful to have people in my life I can go to for advice, for help, for comfort, for laughs...whatever it may be. People who I consider my brothers and my sisters. People who I may not see everyday, who I may not talk to everyday...but the bond that we have doesn't lessen or weaken...that's true friendship man. When y'all don't need to see or talk to each other for a period of time, but when you meet up...it's real love among y\all. I guess I've been kinda dealing with something that has made me think about those kinda things you know...not seeing or talking to someone for a period of time...it's a real test of the strength of the bond that y'all have. Yeah I dunno...that's just all I had to say for now...see y'all tomorrow.

25, What A Time To Be Alive

So uh...about those posts I owe y'all...and these past couple days with no posts...my bad lol, these past couple days have been hectic...haven't been sleeping much nor have I had much time to myself...been on the go and just constantly doing stuff. I'm a do my best to finish off May strong and crank outposts for y'all. Anyways...So I turned 25 two days ago...it feels...different lol. I really got a give a huge shout out to all my friends for surprising my on my birthday...it literally took me back to high school...those throwback parties you have at your house with like loot bags and stuff.I gotta give a HUGE shoutout to Y for organizing everything...and going out of your way to coordinate everything and remembering all the things that I like...you really are a true friend, words really can't express how thankful and appreciative I am of you. I went for dinner with my softball team after practice and they somehow drove hella fast, made it to my house and surprised me along with my boys...it was dope having my church friends and my boys all together, having fun and just chilling at my place. It was definitely a birthday I'll never forget...usually, it'd just be something simple like a dinner with y fam or my friends. This year was...amazing. We even set off the smoke detector because we used sparklers on the cake instead of candles and the paper caught fire LOOOL. What else...FAM I HAD A PINATA...all my life, that's been on my bucket list...the fact my homegirl actually came through with a pinata...geez, you a real one. What else...trays and plates of candy and chocolates because I have a sweet tooth. Balloons and decorations all over my house...and a couple of other surprises I won't mention...but literally surprised the HECK out of me LOOL. Definitely a birthday I won't forget...25, what a time to be alive. Yesterday was also a SUPER long day. Pretty much went on a road trip with my boy to help him with a project he was doing. It was dope...spending time with him for one, having good conversations and exploring as well...we went to like High Park, saw a zoo, went to Niagara Falls and saw a bunch of sights and also hit up Dundas Peak, hiked all the way up the mountain and got to see a beautiful view...but yeah, with that...thanks to all my friends...for everything. See y'all tomorrow...

Hey Mama

Day 13/31

Look out sometime next week for me to make up the post I missed, so hopefully some time this week I'll put out 2 posts when I have time. Anyways, so with today being Mother's Day and my facebook and instagram being flooded with mother's day pictyres, I figured I'd make a post. Some people are like man this is so annoying or some people are like man I appreciate my mom everyday...like chill, why you gotta be such a Debbie Downer, just let a good thing be. Any ways, the one word I think about when I think about my mom is sacrifice. From time, energy, money, love...anything and everything my mom could sacrifice, she would. I'll never be able to fully comprehend or appreciate the things that she does for me and the lengths that she goes to provide for me and meet my needs. I remember watching this youtube video about how being a mother is the most underpaid and overworked jobs out there because you're always working and never get half the credit you deserve. I could go on and on about my mom as any of you guys could I'm sure, but I won't do that to y'all. I'm just constantly reminded of how thankful I need to be. Your mom, your parents in general actually are always there for you, doing things for you that it becomes normal and when they don't do things for you...you notice it. Just as I've been learning to tell my friends that I appreciate them, same thing with my parents and in this case my mom...constantly reminding myself to check my ego, stop being a brat and really just love and appreciate my mom for all she does...from the little things to the big things. And yeah, with that being said...happy mother's day to all the moms out there..like 2Pac said,Dear Mama, you are appreciated

I Broke Into My Neighbour's Backyard

Day 12/31

So I owe you guys a post...remind me on that one lol. So pretty sure I've told this story before, but it's too jokes not to tell again. So this is probably sometime in like high school...early high school cuz I was a dumb kid. So my neighbours and I were pretty close...they were these 2 brothers...they taught my how to ride a bike and they like let me borrow their bike whenever I wanted. They were just really nice...we would always borrow things from each other. So one day I'm with my boy who also knows them, we both have scooters in hand...we wanted to borrow their bikes. This was back when kids would always go outside to play...so they'd usually be outside and we could just be like yo can we borrow your bikes, But they weren't outside that day, so because it was a town house...they didn't really have a backyard, it was just the backdoor that with a small pathway that led into the garage. So we like open the fence...already kinda breaking into their backyard space...we like knock on their door to ask if we can use their bikes...no one's home. So we're like uh...what do we do. My boy was like let's just take the bikes and we'll return them after. Suddenly we hear a car pull up..it's the parents. Me and my boy are like freaking out...I tell him, shoot...it's their parents...THIS GUY doesn't say a word...with his scooter in hand, this guy steps on the recycling bin and hops over the fence LOOOL. I'm like wtf...what am I supposed to do....he's like yo, toss the scooter over and hop the fence...and I'm like hella unathletic and also scared. I throw the scooter over, I go to step on the recycling bin and it like tips over and makes this huge crash noise...and I fall...my boy is dying on the other side of the fence. I'm like frick, what do I do...so I just walk through the path past the garage cuz their parents know who I am...I'm like oh...hey, uh, I was just looking for ____ and ____, they're like uh...they're not home right now. I was like trueee...alright...and dipped soooo fast. They walk in and all I hear is "honey, what happened?" I'm dyingggg LOL...my boy like shows up out of nowhere with 2 scooters like bro you good LOL. To this day, I don't even think my neighbours know about that situation LOL....see y'all tomorrow.

Been There, Done That

Day 12/31

Those who know me know I've been in a funk lately...all over the place. You know when you're going through something...and you go to your friends for advice, but it's like no matter what they say you're still gonna be in your funk. That's kinda where I've been at...like they're saying the right things, it's resonating with me somewhat...but you just wanna be in your funk. Today I was with a friend and it's crazy how alike we are in terms of how we deal with certain problems. I was sharing with him what's been going on and he essentially shared with me how he was going through the exact same thing, how he felt the exact same emotions and feelings, was int he exact same funk. And he's like honestly man...there's nothing I can say to get you out of this funk, or to change how you're feeling...you're still gonna do the same things and stress. But honestly tho, hearing his experience really helped ease my min somewhat. It was super dope just being able to talk with somebody who really understands you know...even if there wasn't a concrete solution...just having someone to be like danggg I know that feeling...danggg, I did that too...was super comforting in itself. I don't know if you guys can resonate with that...sometimes you'll hear the same advice from different people and none of it will resonate...then you'll hear it from another person and it'll suddenly click. It was just really nice being able to share with someone who's experienced the same thing, endured and overcome it you know. He offered me some really great insight and some really good reminders for myself when dealing with these situations. Moments like these, I'm thankful for true friendships...friendships that remain true and strong no matter how long you haven't seen each other or how long y'all haven't spoken...whenever you do cross paths, it's all love. With that, I'll see you tomorrow.

Random Thoughts

Day 10/31

Here's a throoooowback...something I wrote in 2010...it's really cool to hear when friends tell me how much my flow has changed and/or improved from when they first heard me rap or first saw the things that I wrote...take in this was 7 years ago..,geez

November 2, 2010

As I stare at this blank page, no words come to mind
Like a game of hide and seek I try so hard but can't find
I look myself in the mirror and see shades of the past
Reminisce of the good and the bad times that passed
My mind's gone, yet this ink's writing line after line
Back's on the wall, fighting for my life, man I'm tryin'
Few people left I can turn to for hope
More fake people tellin' me that my ish is dope
I say pain over pleasure, cuz pleasure never lasts
I say pleasure never lasts...cuz it goes by too fast
I look down at my haters, from a place much higher
Cuz they fill their hearts with hate, consumed in fire
Love is pain, you gotta push through for pleasure
But the feeling afterwards, no other thing can measure
Pain is love cuz when you love, you're willing to go through pain
You're willing to sacrifice all the wealth and the fame
Headphones on, pen and paper in my hand
Gonna inspire the world, or at least do the best that I can
Random thoughts in my head that just had to be expressed
Random topics in my mind that just had to be addressed
I'll never give you my best, just what my heart and mind create
Cuz that's whats real, not something you can brainstorm or fake

CHASING THE SKY

Day 9/31

Here's a little something I wrote for an event at my church, it's something that I've been struggling with...chasing everything in this life but God...so yeah, here it is.

Dear God I'm always asking why

Why am I chasing all these things that never satisfy 

Why do I tell myself you're good but then I doubt your plan 

Why is this life something that seems so hard to understand 

I've been chasing all the things in this life but you 

But I'm supposed to give up everything because you want me to 

God my heart is real heavy, it feels like you don't get me 

I pray to you but sometimes it just feels like you neglect me 

See deep down I know you're good, you want the best for me 

The difficult times in my life serve as a test for me

Sometimes I'm crying out and I don't think you hear me 

The times I really need you, I don't feel you near me 

That's when I realize that I've been pushing you away 

Turning my back to you and brushing off the things you say 

I feel I only come to you when life becomes a mess 

That's when I see how good you are cuz God you never left 

Sometimes my faith gets shaky, having some doubts lately 

Wondering if God really has my back to put it plainly 

But man he does, in fact he always has 

His love and grace is something I can never truly grasp 

God I know that you're enough, why I am still searching 

I know your love runs deep why am I still hurting 

God I know you see the brokenness inside of me 

In the darkness, you're the light that's always guiding me 

I know you're working real hard to break the pride in me 

I take for granted how much you really provide for me 

God you somehow always find a way to speak to me 

Your words keep breaking down my walls and sinking deep in me 

I know this life is hard but God you're always there for me 

The good and bad that I endure is cuz you care for me 

While I've been chasing earth things, you've been pursuing me 

That's how I stand before you now as the man you see 

My Worst Enemy

Day 8/31

I won't beat around the bush with this one...my worst enemy, is myself...specifically my mind. I think and I overthink way too much. I create problems out of nothing and I make situations out of nothing. I get paranoid hella easily...especially when it comes to people I'm emotionally invested in...cuz you care what they think you know. This one girl used to always get pissed at me cuz I was 'too chill', she's like you gotta take things more seriously...I'm like bruh, if only you knew...I have NO CHILL...well not in all circumstances, just some. I freak out over little things...and people have to literally remind me to chill...to be like, yo...it's not a big deal or yo...you can't do anything about it...you're just stressing yourself out. I don't wanna drag this post on too long...so with that being said...I just wanna take this time to say thanks to TMYHM. Because I've been learning the importance of telling people how much you appreciate them, appreciate their presence, their advice, and yeah. So thank you guys...for being there in my time of desperation and frustration. Thank you for bearing with me, for tolerating me and for caring about me...I appreciate it to the greatest of lengths. Friendship is real important to me...and it's hard to develop truly deep, personal bonds and connections, so I'm very appreciative of all of y'all...and I hope it means something to you how comfortable and how trusting I am towards y'all...thanks, from the bottom of my heart...I appreciate you guys.

What Does It Mean To Be A Man?

Day 7/31

I don't mean to alienate all my female readers...but essentially, what does it mean to be a grown up, what does it mean to be an adult...and for my fellow guys out there...what does it mean to be a man? Is it age? When you hit 18...or maybe when you hit the legal age to drink...is that what determines if you're a man? I personally don't have a concrete answer for y'all...and I think if you asked around...it would vary from person to person. What does it mean to be a man Is it talking a certain way...dressing a certain way? See I feel like you can talk all eloquently and grammatically correct...and most people's assumption of you is that you're well put together...but does that mean you're a man? And again when I say man...feel free to interpret it as adult or grown up. I also feel like you can dress up and clean up hella good...or "very well" as y'all grammar folks will hit me with...but that don't mean you're a man. You can dress up in a suit and tie, gel your hair and be as presentable as you can be...but that doesn't make you any more of a man that the dude beside you in a t-shirt and some jeans. But it's funny that...things like how we dress, how we speak, how we present ourselves has a significant impact on how people perceive us...how much people believe we have it all put together or how mature people think we are. I dunno...I definitely don't wanna generalize...and I don't wanna seem critical or judgemental of people...this is just observation...and some of it is from first hand experience. J. Cole says "you ain't a man till you stop chasing your friends, think for yourself, make your own plans". You always see those movies where people ask each other oh...when did you know you were a man...or when did you feel like you became a man? And people's answers vary...first job, license, losing virginity, moving out...you name it. In all honesty...I'm turning 25 soon...and there are some times I feel like a man...and there are some times I don't. There are some times I feel hella independent, responsible, capable of taking care of myself. Then there's other times...I feel like a kid...super dependent and needy for his parents, for attention, for comfort. I think everyone can relate to me in some sort of aspect...that you never really feel completely like an adult...because there's always moments in your life you feel you need somebody...a friend, a parent, someone to talk to. I think a big part of being an adult is confronting all of that...realizing that it's okay to be in need, to cry out for help...it's natural, it's normal. So to answer my question...what does it mean to be a man...I don't know...to be honest, I'm still figuring it out...I can share bits and pieces with you...as I feel I'll never have a truly definitive answer...but yeah, to each his own I guess...just don't let anybody define or undermine you by telling you you are or aren't something because of how you dress, how you speak, how you choose to present yourself...that's on you...nobody can tell you you are or you aren't a man...that's up to you to figure out for yourself. I'll see you guy tomorrow, peace out!

CHANGES

Day 6/31

Change is something that's forever gonna be relevant...it's something that's always happening, something that's always at the forefront of our lives. Regarding changes, 2Pac said that's just the way it is...things will never be the same. And isn't that true...change means...something new, something different, something uncertain, something...scary. I remember every year in elementary school going a week before to the school to see the class lists...seeing new names in your class, seeing your best friends in different classes...automatically knowing things would be different because you wouldn't see your best friends throughout the day, only during recess. Change...is scary, it takes getting used to...but for that first little bit when that change is introduced...it sucks, real bad...because it's different...it's not what we're used to, we don't know how to deal with it. Change is scary...moving to a new school, being in a new or different setting that you're used to...change takes a while to get used to...but after that brief period of freaking out...you get used to it...what started as different, weird, new, starts to become normal...it starts to become comfortable and regular. I guess this is more of a reminder to myself than anything...but if you feel you can relate to this, more power to you. Change is scary...I think there's very few times in my life I embrace change whole heartedly...become comfortable is nice, it's safe, it's what we're used to. Change is scary because it's different, it's not what we're used to and what if it isn't what we expected or isn't the same thing as what we had before. Regardless tho, I've found even if you HATE the change in the beginning, you get used to it eventually and it becomes normalcy and you forget about everything before it. Take instagram for example...remember the old instagram logo, the one that was brown and looked super dope, when they started rolling out the new isntagram logos, everyone was like yo it looks so ugly, I for one, like my friend held off on updating the app because we wanted to keep the old logo because it looked nicer...until they forced us to update the app...at first, it was ugly, I was like dang, this is on my phone...but after a while...like any change, good or bad...I got used to it, it become normal. I can't even remember what facebook was like when I first got it...all I know was your wall was much more poppin than it is now...and you could like click wall to wall to view your entire conversation with someone. Anyways...I digress...change...is scary, as I'm sure I've said way too many times in way too many posts in this blog...but it's something you inevitably eventually get used to...and it all becomes normal, soon enough. So whatever change, whatever new, uncomfortable, different or scary situation you're dealing with right now...it gets better, trust me, you'll get used to it, it's part of growth. With that being said, I'll catch y'all tomorrow...peace out.

Giving Without Expectations

Day 5/31

Here's something I wrote a looong while back, just never posted it at the time...not a super long while back, maybe a couple of months...that and I just got home not too long ago and don't have time to make a post atm lol...

The thing about life...about living...is you never stop learning, no matter how old you and no matter how much you already know and have learned. One thing I'm always constantly learning is how to be a good friend, a true friend. Before even  thinking about a relationship, marriage, a family...I think friendship is the most basic form of relationship...and it's something that I'm constantly learning about and trying to improve with every old or new friend in my life. Sacrifice is one word that comes to mind when I think of friendship...sacrificing your time, your own needs, yourself for others. Whether it means sharing your food because your friend doesn't have any or cancelling plans you have because your friend needs you, friendship is about sacrifice. One BIG aspect of friendship that I can never learn and be reminded of enough is the aspect of giving...specifically giving without expectations or receiving. Giving is much harder than receiving, giving without expecting anything in return takes true friendship and real love for someone. To give someone something...whatever it may be and not expect anything in return is a true sign of your love and care for that person...because you give out of love, because you know that thing will make the person happy, and shouldn't that be the point of friendship? I can't count the number of times my friends have helped me out...whether spotting me when I have no money, helping me change a tire, giving me rides...and they don't keep tabs on that stuff like oh Rodmond yeah I gave you a ride last time so you owe me a ride...or yeah Rodmond I've done you quite a number of favours this week, I think it's time you do something for me. Real friendship is loving and caring for another person...without expecting it in return...to receive something in return...such as mutual love or care isn't expected...but if it is, then that's a true, real mutual friendship y'feel? This is something that's kinda been on my heart as of late...what it means to be a true friend, what it means to be there for someone, to love and care without boundaries, without expectations.

Just Keep Swimming Part 3

Day 4/31

Part 1
Part 2

Hey friends, hope you're doing wells...so funny story before we get into it. So those who know me know my vision is terrible...I keep loafting on updating the prescription on my glasses, so I'm literally blind. Anyways, so I had an exam a while ago...so picture a movie theatre cuz my class is very similar to that...so I'm like sitting in the THIRD row...the prof puts the questions up on the big screen using like a projector kinda thing, so it's on a piece of paper and he puts it on the projector and it shows ont he big screen...so I'm sitting in the third row, he puts up the questions and I CAN'T SEE THEM LOOOL. Like it's hella blurry, I'm squint super hard and I'm like making out key words but I can't make out the entire question. So everyone's like flipping open their books, starting their exam and here I am sitting there, squinting trying to figure out what these questions are...I'm freaking  out cuz I'm like yo, it's over...I don't know what the questions are (they're essay questions), I'm like squinting super hard trying to make out these questions...in the corner of my eye, I see the prof walking towards me, he hands me a piece of paper and goes here maybe this will help...it's the exam questions, he starts laughing and I'm like thanks a lot LOOOL. As I finish and hand in my exam he's like are you good, I'm like yeah I forgot my glasses LOOOL.

So moving on now lol...so I was watching some Denzel Washington speech a couple of days ago when he was receiving some award and he was just saying some real dope stuff. He's probably one of my favourite actors. One thing that stuck out to me was when he said that with most if not all things in life, you need commitment to start, but you need consistency to finish. Anything...from school, job, relationships...to even this blog...it takes commitment to get started, but you need to be consistent in order to keep it going, to continue, to finish. It makes so much sense...for this blog for example...I've been feeling very dejected and unmotivated...just kinda loafting around with a select few friends. Sometimes you just gotta keep going, keep swimming...it doesn't get any easier, but you've made it this far, why not keep going? That's kinda been where I'm at atm...just barely pushing through...but still pushing through you know...in all aspects of my life currently...I'm trying really hard to just be consistent with and in everything...so bear with me...if posts feel dry at times...or lazy and randomly thrown together, it's cuz they probably are...I'll see you tomorrow.

Life Is Like A Video Game

Day 3/31

Wait what...an early post...how is life like a video game...you good bruh?

Well, I told y'all I'd make it up to you, so expect a post later on tonight as well, consider it my apology to you guys. So how is life like a video game? So I'm gonna give y'all 3 examples of games hoping you can relate to me in some sort of way. So first one, I know I always say I'm not a computer game, but I got this game called Age of Empires as a kid for my birthday and it was a dope game. Pretty much you build your own town (houses, castles, walls),and develop soldiers as well while also farming for gold, wood, food, etc for survival. So all this seems like hella work and lots of effort right...so I used to use cheat codes to speed up this process...people would build houses in like 2 seconds instead of the regular 2 minutes, I could automatically input gold, food, wood instead of farming it. And I could create any warriors on demand and even create these cars that shot bullets even tho it's a game about medieval civilization and cars weren't created yet. So every now and then, I'll play this game despite getting it for like my 13th birthday...it's fun for the first few rounds, winning and stuff...but then it gets repetitive, it gets boring, and I stop playing it. I then ask myself like yo what's the point of those cheat codes, it kinda kills the fun in the game. So now moving onto my second game, hopefully a more relatable one...Grand Theft Auto...if you tell me you've never played Grand Theft auto without using cheats...you're a liar...whether it's getting all the guns, getting the best cars, a jetpack, flying or decreasing stars...we've all done it. But to a certain point...doesn't that get boring as well...knowing that no matter how hard the game gets, how many cops are after you...you can just use cheats to get away or decrease the stars so no one's chasing you anymore. That's what makes the game fun...trying to complete missions while the cops are chasing you, that rush, that pressure and such...but when you have that ability to just stop the cops from chasing you at anytime...what's the point really. My last game, I'm gonna keep it short and simple...NBA 2K...game sliders...we've all done it at some point, just to see, just for fun, maybe to mess with our friend. But trust me that gets fun before the game's even over....I mean...making every shot...stealing the ball every time...half the fun is competing, testing yourself, with game sliders...it's like okay, I know everything's going in, I can just play with any team and use any player.

So y'all still following me? In life...a lot of the times, I don't know about you...but I WANT the cheat odes. Life is so hard sometimes...wouldn't be SO NICE to have cheat codes in certain situations. Knowing EXACTLY what to say to get the girl or guy, knowing EXACTLY what to say in a job interview, knowing EXACTLY what to say to sell something to a client. Don't you feel it would take way from life...in the same way cheat codes take away the fun and sometimes the purpose of the video game. Having the cheat codes to life would mean...any girl/guy, any job, any THING in life...and it kinda makes me ask myself what's the point in living...there's no growth, no failure, no learning...because you know the outcome. I know life gets hard sometimes...a lot of the times. But that's what makes it worth living y'feel? Someone told me that uncertainty is a part of life. The next step...there's always uncertainty. That hit me really hard...no matter what you do, once you jump over one hurdle, there's another one waiting for you. Uncertainty, tests, obstacles, hurdles...are all a part of life...it's what pushes us, helps us grow, teaches us, shapes us and makes us (hopefully) better people. So yeah, that's just what I wanted to share with y'all right now...see you in a bit.

Go With The Flow

Day 2/31

Yep, I know, I know, I missed yesterday...I owe y'all one, remind me. Today I was reminded that sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. I\m gonna bring back that illustration of me being tuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean...sometimes you just gotta let the waves take you, y'feel? Especially when you have no sense of where you're going. Sometimes, you to plan out a situation down to every little thing you say or do...and when one thing doesn't go your way, it ruins the entire plan. Sometimes, you just gotta play what you're dealt...go with whatever the situation is, be flexible, be adaptable. Sometimes, it's easy to get hyped or too confident about a situation and a lot of the times, that's when life will hit you and be like yo chill out...anything can happen. One thing I've learned through much experience is that when you get too confident and too cocky about a situation going a certain why, life will throw you a curve ball to keep you on your feet and see how you react. A lot of the times I'll be like yeah, /I got this situation all figured out, piece of cake...then things will change in an instant...and that's kinda made me adopt the go with the flow mentality. Tho sometimes, it slips my mind...in any and every situation, you have to be ready to adapt or be ready for change...just because you think something is going to happen a certain way doesn't mean it will. In anything, whether school...work...friendships...relationships...life...nothing will ever go exactly how you plan it, you need to be able to adapt and be flexible to bend to whatever the situation calls for. So that's kinda where I've been at lately...much appreciated to the homie BCK for the reminder. Look out for 2 posts in one of the upcoming days since I missed yesterday's...see y'all tomorrow.

Doing Things For Yourself

Day 1/31

As promised, we back...for a full month, then who knows how long I'll go away for LOL nah I'm joking...somewhat. Thanks for always sticking with me, but let's get to what you're really here for lol. So if you know me...you'll know I don't sleep in my room, for one...there's clothes all over my bed, two...my bed's a twin side bed, so it's hella small and I like roll around when I sleep. So I sleep on a sofa bed in the basement cuz it's cold downstairs and I like it.Anyways, so like a couple of weeks ago, my sofa bed kept creaking...like any little bit of movement and it would creak constantly and it was so annoying...especially since I move around a lot when I sleep. This happened for a good like 2 days and I'm like frick...am I gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life? So one night, I was like ALRIGHT...let's take off the mattress and try to figure out what's wrong...taking off the mattress from the bed was a mission in itself cuz it was hella heavy. So after doing that, I saw that a couple of the bars on the sofa bed frame was like out of proportion and that's why it was creaking so much, so I like moved them back in place and screwed them on tightly, put the mattress back on and BOOM..NO MORE CREAKING. Bro...the amount of satisfaction and pride I felt for myself was amazing LOL. This reminded me of a Boy Meets World episode where Cory and Topanga move out and have their own place. Their tap is spewing out like dirty water instead of clean water...so Cory goes to his parents house and goes oh yo, can we move back in...and his dad keeps saying no, we can't help you with this one, you gotta figure it out for yourself. So naturally, Cory and Topanga get pissed, it's like yo you're our parents why aren't you helping us? It gets to a point where they're hella disheartened and sitting in their nasty apartment with the dirty water. Cory's still trying to fix the pipes and he gives up and turns the tap on...looking at the water in disappointment...then it suddenly turns clear and he realizes he's fixed the pipes. First thing he does is go to hi parents to brag that they fixed the pipes and his parents go oh look, they fixed the pipes...they did it on their own. Essentially the parents were like yo, now that you're a man, married, we're not always gonna be here for you, and we wouldn't wanna take away that opportunity for you to learn, grow and do things for yourself. So going back to the whole sofa bed thing...when it comes to these kinds of things...my first instinct, as I'm sure a lot of your guys' first instincts would be to call your parents for help. But they aren't always gonna be there for you...you're eventually gonna have to learn how to do things on your own and take care of yourself. The first time I like went to the doctors by myself, made my own dinner or fixed something by myself...I felt so much self satisfaction...knowing that I could do it, that I could take care of myself...it's a feeling you can't explain until you actually do something for yourself. So yeah, I just kinda wanted to share that...cuz my little sofa bed situation really hit me hard you know...it made me feel really good to figure out a problem and solve it by myself without anyone's help...as I'm sure it's the same for you. See y'all tomorrow.