It's happening again...the fear, the doubt, the anxieties, the worries. God...I'm really trying to trust in you and in the plan that you have for me. But it seems like every time things start making sense or I start figuring things out, you throw a wrench into all of it. School has got me so frustrated right now...more so graduation...I feel like I'm so close, yet so far away...God what's your plan for me? I'm sitting in class right now...feeling kinda lost, lonely and frustrated most of all. It doesn't even bother me as much as it should seeing other people graduate or move on...I just personally want it to be over with..not that I'm in a rush or anything..but in a sense I feel like I kinda am cuz I've been at this for quite a while. God what's your plan for...what's the purpose of all this. I'm really struggling to find comfort in your right this moment...I know it'll all work out...but dang...I don't wanna feel like I'm wasting time...I feel like all my life I've been wasting time...I've been loafting or just barely coasting by. I don't want that lifestyle any more...I'm trying to be active and seertive in my life, but it's hard...like every time I stand up and start walking, I get knocked back down again. God...I don't know what's going to happen...I don't know how long it'll take me or when I'll finish school...but I know I will...I have to...and I'm praying for your strength every step of the way. In my weakness is when your strength is magnified, God...my everything is in your hands.
Wow...so I wrote this post in class at about 12:30 ish...it's now 1:40...that's how quick it took God to slap me in the face and say...hey...why are you so easy to doubt me...holy...my mind is flipping out right now. Pretty much, I thought I would have to delay graduation even longer and come back for another semester next year instead of my original plan of doing summer school and graduating in October...now I've found out that plan is still possible. But the more important thing is dang...how quick was I to kinda give up and sulk and doubt God...I guess I should've known better...God is good all the time, all the time God is good...right? Man...
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