Random Thoughts

With school starting...my mind's been really focused on school, no games in class...full on taking notes, doing readings...cuz 2nd year is the hardest...so they say, and my courses are hard, ish. It isn't till I come back down to earth, sleep in on my day off...and get my ish together...that I actually sit down and think about life...and just the things going on in my life. No, I'm still currently not seeing eye to eye with certain people, no both sides haven't made any efforts to do anything about it....but it's evidently clear both sides care. I've ran this through my head hundreds of times...forget ALL the people I'm not seeing eye to eye with right now and lemme just talk about you. This is just me, maybe it's you as well...but I get sad, annoyed, angry, depressed, disappointed, hurt and all sorts of feelings when we walk past each other...no words, no eye contact...at the same time....these past few days...I've been so chill....catching up with people, meeting new people, confiding in other people who aren't always there...but they're there for the right moments. I dunno....this always seems to happen....I guess this is what happens since we never really fixed our ish....where the slightest spec of dust can cause everything under the rug to fall out....I dunno....I've thought about this too many times, I've thought about you too many times, I've ran too many scenarios in my head too many times, I've told this story too many times, I've confided in different people too many times, too many sleepless nights, too many depressing days, too many times I would take walks by myself hoping to bump into you....too many times I would take walks by myself and just sit there and think about thinks, think about you...too many times I've almost wanted to cry over this...too many times I ask myself why we always fight....too many times I hear people tell me that you fight with the people you care about the most cuz they're the ones worth fighting for...too many times it feels like we grow closer only to grow further apart...too many times it feels like I'm typing these exact same words over and over...too many times I have all these words in my head....left unsaid.....all these words on my phone....but I never press send....all these words ready to msg you but I never press enter....I dunno man....I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired....God put you guys in my life for a reason....and we may not be seeing eye to eye right now...but if God wants to lead us back to each other, we will....in time....in due time.....it'll all get better in time, I hope...for now....I've just got school to deal with, issues to deal with, life to deal with.....but that doesn't mean I still don't think about you...