Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #2: Letters To You
Guest Writer #3: TC
Guest Writer #4: Anonymous Queen B
Guest Writer #5: Someone You Used To Know
Guest Writer #6: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #7: LG Slayer 231
Guest Writer #8: TC
Guest Writer #9: G. Ho
Guest Writer #10: Golden Frieza
Guest Writer #11: Ghost Writer
As always, thank you to my guest writers. I appreciate y'all doing me this favour and being honest and pouring your heart out into your posts. If you're interested in being a guest writer, feel free to hit me up if you're interested...the likelihood of me saying no is very slim lol. Without further ado, here y'all go....
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I have another woe that I’ll be running through the six with. Just kidding, I don’t even live in the 6…I live very far north away from the six…So I’m still the north.
However, I digress. I’d like to open this blog post, I’ve been so kindly invited to write with a short statement: dating is difficult.
I hesitated writing yet another dating blog post because I don’t want to come off as shallow, but really…my issues run deeper than writing guys off for being jerks.
I’ve been dating a while. My first “relationship” was in grade six and it was with the new boy and I liked him and he liked me and we would message each other on MSN. It was totes romantic.
Now I’m in university and the dating game is a little more advanced then adding someone on MSN first or even texting someone every day.
I don’t know how I feel when I talk to a new person and I find out that the very friendly person has a girlfriend. Like, I’m not seriously bothered that the guy has not told me he’s taken because my intention when I meet someone new is not to date him.
Is that a weird concept? Like it seems simple and understandable, but I don’t think that’s how it is. I feel like the misconception here is that when two compatible people talk, it is inevitable someone is going to try something.
But we have strange ways of trying to make it clear without being deliberate about it. Even though, I don’t know why we’d have to be deliberate about it. Here, story: I started talking to a guy from work and my friend told me he had a girlfriend. I shrugged because I’m dating someone too. But a couple of encounters with this guy he started dropping “my girlfriend” in a lot of our conversations.
Now, another story: I played around on tinder for a while and it was always amusing to find your friends. I found someone I met at a Christmas dinner and we started talking. I guess it could be considered flirting? (I used a lot of :P and he used a lot of ;)). Then, out of the blue, he stopped talking to me. I thought nothing of it since we weren’t committed to anything. (I did find out it was because another girl gave him a chance, but that’s beside the point). Fast forward to last week and I saw him again and he texted me the next day. Now, it was back to the “:P” and “;)” but I’m dating someone now. I kind of guessed his intentions and tried to stay neutral. He asked me out. I felt obligated to tell him, and so I did. His response: “oh well, I tried.”
NOW HERE’S MY ISSUE: I’m tired of being a trophy. I’m tired of it being that the only reason a guy talks to me is to try to win me or date me or get somewhere with me. And no, I shouldn’t be “grateful” that someone finds me attractive enough to pursue.
It gets tiring always finding reasons why I did something wrong. Was it my mistake that I responded to his text message? Was the first thing I was supposed to tell a person I just met, just because he’s a boy, that I’m dating someone? Is that all really my responsibility?
Like, after he said, “oh well” our entire conversation just ended. He had no other purpose to talk to me. And I feel outright disrespected. I am more than a dating potential. I am more than another “cutie” you can tell your friends you’re talking to and are “this close” to getting to be your bae. But why is it that when I was overthinking it before I went to bed. I felt awful. I felt like I did something wrong and he automatically hated me.
That is my issue. I should not feel worth less just because I am unable to date someone. I have the right to say no. I have the right to make friends. I have the right to be a person. I am more than the “:P” girl. I have opinions. I have issues. And I want to talk to you about things other than pretending to be impressed that you can lift 1000 pounds.
There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s something wrong with your intent when you talk to girls. You have to see past dating, and see that there are ultimately more ways than sliding through someone’s inbox with a “;)” and a vague compliment that you can tell anyone.
So, remember that people are people first – not dating potentials.
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