I've been watching this video a lot cuz I've been heavily considering getting a tattoo...now just like he says int he beginning of the video...there's a huge debate about this topic lol...there's obv gonna be people for and people against it. People for it will say well there's meaning, there's purpose, things like that...it's not a tattoo of something stupid. Whereas people against it will say it's to look cool, things like that. I agree with a lot of his points here and it really helped ease my mind on a lot of things and I know if I'm this unsure about getting a tattoo...I'll def have to wait a bit longer and pray a lot more. But it's something I'm definitely leaning towards it....I'm thinking maybe on my chest "Family First, God Before That"....just a reminder to myself of how important my family is to me...but above all that...God is my heart, my life...you know.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Guest Writer #2: LettersToYou
Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
Just wanted to say thanks to Rod for inviting me to guest blog on The Best You Never Heard.
UN: i hope you’re okay. I know you’re stressed out and going through a silent depression. I know you’re suffering from post trauma but don’t know how to express or show it. and honestly, no one can help you, you have to go to God for that, not even the psychologist you’ve been visiting. I didn’t tell you though because i know you don’t want to talk about it.
NS: I don’t know what’s up with you, why you’re angry at me all the time? I don’t know how to talk to you so I’m just going to wait it out. Not going to approach you. I don’t think any of us are at an easy stage right now and you go on flipping out at me every time I mention how we should be there for one another.
GN: I miss you a lot and I don’t know where you are. I wish I gave you the card I made you though you wouldn’t have been able to see it. I wish I can just give you a hug and never let you go. I wish I was able to do the things I promised you.
UT: I’m not sure how I feel about you. Scared, numb...not sure. There were times I wanted to tell you things but then I remembered we’re not together anymore and that we’re not talking. I’m not sure what to talk about with you anymore and not sure if I want to. I’m sure I’ll miss you when I see you though.
T: this is sorta weird one to write cus we’re not even friends and we’ve just met but we’ve ended up spending some time together for the past two weeks. I know you had no idea but you made me realize that no one (at least to my knowledge) are immune to rebounds or wanting to look for a rebound. Even if you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else but your ex just last week. And chances are, down that road, it’s going to hurt your ego and you’re going to feel like crap. However, thanks I needed that.
Self: Stop trying to plan and control your life. God will change them. Accept criticism and failure. Take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t let worries and sadness consume you as much as you are starting to feel comfortable in that state. Don’t be scared, stop hesitating but don’t be impulsive. Don’t let self consciousness control you. Quality time over quantity. Learn to save money. Treat yourself but don’t indulge. Learn to move on. Don’t be lukewarm.
Sincerely,
LettersToYou
Just wanted to say thanks to Rod for inviting me to guest blog on The Best You Never Heard.
Letters to You...
UN: i hope you’re okay. I know you’re stressed out and going through a silent depression. I know you’re suffering from post trauma but don’t know how to express or show it. and honestly, no one can help you, you have to go to God for that, not even the psychologist you’ve been visiting. I didn’t tell you though because i know you don’t want to talk about it.
NS: I don’t know what’s up with you, why you’re angry at me all the time? I don’t know how to talk to you so I’m just going to wait it out. Not going to approach you. I don’t think any of us are at an easy stage right now and you go on flipping out at me every time I mention how we should be there for one another.
GN: I miss you a lot and I don’t know where you are. I wish I gave you the card I made you though you wouldn’t have been able to see it. I wish I can just give you a hug and never let you go. I wish I was able to do the things I promised you.
UT: I’m not sure how I feel about you. Scared, numb...not sure. There were times I wanted to tell you things but then I remembered we’re not together anymore and that we’re not talking. I’m not sure what to talk about with you anymore and not sure if I want to. I’m sure I’ll miss you when I see you though.
T: this is sorta weird one to write cus we’re not even friends and we’ve just met but we’ve ended up spending some time together for the past two weeks. I know you had no idea but you made me realize that no one (at least to my knowledge) are immune to rebounds or wanting to look for a rebound. Even if you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else but your ex just last week. And chances are, down that road, it’s going to hurt your ego and you’re going to feel like crap. However, thanks I needed that.
Self: Stop trying to plan and control your life. God will change them. Accept criticism and failure. Take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t let worries and sadness consume you as much as you are starting to feel comfortable in that state. Don’t be scared, stop hesitating but don’t be impulsive. Don’t let self consciousness control you. Quality time over quantity. Learn to save money. Treat yourself but don’t indulge. Learn to move on. Don’t be lukewarm.
Sincerely,
LettersToYou
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
My First Time Driving (Legitimately)
SO GUESS WHAT...YESTERDAY THE INSURANCE PAPERS FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL...so today I drove to crossfit at church by myself...I know the general whereabouts, but still had google maps on my iphone and surprisingly it spoke out the directions, sickkk!!! Bluetoothed my phone to the car so I played music and had the directions out...but I think people were cheesing at me cuz I was in the middle lane (the fast lane) and going the speed limit lol so I switched to the slow lane and I also stopped for all stop signs, so people probably were like who is this noob lol but other than that it felt so nice to drive by myself, windows and just blasting music...could def get used to this.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
25 (Random) Facts About Me
Saw this in a video and thought I'd do it...in written form...
1. I've never pulled an all nighter for school and I don't intend to lol...latest I've ever slept for a sleepover was like 6 am...
2. I hate coffee and beer (make that alcohol in general)
3. I didn't know how to ride a bike until I was in like grade 6-7
4. I dislocated my knee in grade 10 basketball tryouts..,was in a cast for 6 months...
5. When I was in Singapore one time, I had a huge debate whether to buy the new 50 Cent album or Linkin Park LOL...I bought the 50 Cent one
6. I was Romeo in our grade 9 play of Romeo and Juliet...trust I was bomb too!
7. I cut my own hair (more like shave my own head, but okay)
8. I was suspended in elementary school for punching this guy and breaking his nose (long story)
9. I don't know how to swim (used to when I was little)
10. I won the gym award in grade 8
11. One time in elementary school during halloween, my dad gave me one of his shirts to wear and I went as my dad LOL (I'll save the story for another time lol)
12. My secret weapon during elementary school snowball fights were covering pine cones with snow...they hurt more LOL
13. I still keep in contact and am very close with my elementary school gym teacher/volleyball coach
14. I've never made any elementary or high school basketball team...(though my friends on the team vouched extremely hard for me, another story for another day tho)
15. I made the soccer team in grade 8...I sucked at soccer...I still use those cleats to this day for softball LOL
16. The first girl I ever liked was named Janice
17. I got sent to the principal's office in grade 3 for calling a kid gay
18. I'm very picky when it comes to vegetables (don't like cabbage, onions, peppers, eggplant, bean sprouts, etc)
19. I used to call myself "The Franchise" in elementary school, my friends turned it around on me and called me "french fries"...
20. My parents and my brother were born in Singapore...they moved to Canada and had me :)
21. Vince Carter will always be my favourite player of all time
22. I got an "R" in elementary school science...like grade 2 or 3...I didn't know an R was possible
23. I wanted to be a chef at one point in time during high school
24. My real dream when I was a kid was to play in the NBA...secretly, part of me still believes in that dream
25. My biggest fear is that I'll be one of those corporate dudes in the future who just sits in an office all day on the computer...
1. I've never pulled an all nighter for school and I don't intend to lol...latest I've ever slept for a sleepover was like 6 am...
2. I hate coffee and beer (make that alcohol in general)
3. I didn't know how to ride a bike until I was in like grade 6-7
4. I dislocated my knee in grade 10 basketball tryouts..,was in a cast for 6 months...
5. When I was in Singapore one time, I had a huge debate whether to buy the new 50 Cent album or Linkin Park LOL...I bought the 50 Cent one
6. I was Romeo in our grade 9 play of Romeo and Juliet...trust I was bomb too!
7. I cut my own hair (more like shave my own head, but okay)
8. I was suspended in elementary school for punching this guy and breaking his nose (long story)
9. I don't know how to swim (used to when I was little)
10. I won the gym award in grade 8
11. One time in elementary school during halloween, my dad gave me one of his shirts to wear and I went as my dad LOL (I'll save the story for another time lol)
12. My secret weapon during elementary school snowball fights were covering pine cones with snow...they hurt more LOL
13. I still keep in contact and am very close with my elementary school gym teacher/volleyball coach
14. I've never made any elementary or high school basketball team...(though my friends on the team vouched extremely hard for me, another story for another day tho)
15. I made the soccer team in grade 8...I sucked at soccer...I still use those cleats to this day for softball LOL
16. The first girl I ever liked was named Janice
17. I got sent to the principal's office in grade 3 for calling a kid gay
18. I'm very picky when it comes to vegetables (don't like cabbage, onions, peppers, eggplant, bean sprouts, etc)
19. I used to call myself "The Franchise" in elementary school, my friends turned it around on me and called me "french fries"...
20. My parents and my brother were born in Singapore...they moved to Canada and had me :)
21. Vince Carter will always be my favourite player of all time
22. I got an "R" in elementary school science...like grade 2 or 3...I didn't know an R was possible
23. I wanted to be a chef at one point in time during high school
24. My real dream when I was a kid was to play in the NBA...secretly, part of me still believes in that dream
25. My biggest fear is that I'll be one of those corporate dudes in the future who just sits in an office all day on the computer...
Monday, September 23, 2013
I Hate Pretty Boys...
Okay well maybe I don't hate them...def aren't jealous of them. But my whole life, I've been surrounded by them...if you know me, I've always been the quiet kid...that kid who's in the group, but you don't really notice. I dunno...just from my numerous encounters and experiences with pretty boys...they're usually very cocky, self absorbed and they just think they're better than you you know. You ever meet those dudes who are just really all about their looks and you can tell they look down on your or think they're better than you cuz they get a lot of girls or something...those are the kinds of dudes who'll take pictures of their abs LOL...or find any excuse to take their shirt off...like relax...but yeah...just something random that came to my mind.
How I Started Blogging...
Most of y'all don't know this...some of y'all do...or maybe a lot of y'all do. Anyways like 4 years ago...around 2009...my 2 friends from high school started a blog of their own. Me and this one friend never really saw eye to eye in the beginning of grade 9, we had our issues, we never really liked each other, but we were in the same social circle and had many mutual close friends. So around grade 11, we put our differences aside and became friends...he was a rapper, writer, poet...whatever you wanna call it...and he is actually also the person who inspired me to start writing...just the passion he had and the effort and heart he put into his words really moved me..and I told him that. So yeah...he started a blog, a place to share his thoughts and just other interesting things...and it got me interesting in the idea of starting a blog and doing the same. Sadly enough, him and his buddy stopped blogging a few months after...and I believe I went on a hiatus as well...I can't remember what got me back into it...but all I know is I slowly began writing more posts of my own and yeah, here we are today lol...so thank him...or I wouldn't have started writing and more importantly blogging...
That Time I Lost My Memory...
LOL kidding...but forreal tho, this morning I woke up from the craziest dream. Most of y'all know I play softball, so I had a dream I was rounding a base and someone threw the ball trying to get me out but the ball hit the back of my head and I fell unconscious, woke up in the hospital and couldn't remember anything besides my family. That's when I woke up in real life...imagine if that actually happened tho...lol...like I woke up and I couldn't remember anything or anyone...all of my friends...I would have to rebuild all those friendships and start from ground zero all over again with everyone and everything...what were my interests and stuff again...would I still play basketbll, just a bunch of interesting things that got me thinking. But obv the big one is friendships...would I still be friends or close friends with the same people...damn that's crazy, would I still be the same person...
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Dear God
I'm feeling overwhelmed...a lot of things are slowly piling onto my plate and a lot of things are really eating at me...I'm praying for strength and peace right now God. My heart isn't right with you...I'm doing my best not to please man, but at the same time I know that I need fellowship with others in order to grow as a christian. God, help me...it's tough...I know it's supposed to be, but sometimes...giving in seems really tempting...God I pray you really rid these thoughts from my head. I trust You...in any and every circumstance...that You will guide me through and teach me along the way. I pray that Your will be done onto me...that through it all, I'll always give You the glory. When I stray away, I hope you guide me back on track...give my heart peace...really fill up my spirits, I've been feeling so exhausted as of late...I trust You God.
Guest Writer #1: SpeakingMyMind
First of all I was to thank Rodmond for letting me use his blog to let me vent/think/or just say things that come to my mind.
I would like to remain anonymous because it really doesn't matter who I am, most of you probably won't even know who I am by reading these post because I've hardly ever shown this side of me to anyone.
I'd like to start of my post as a message to Rodmond. Even though we haven't know each other for a very long time, I have grown to think of you as a really good friend and a bro. You have brought me back to a place in my mind where I think God still exist and is part of my life because honestly, I haven't thought of him in a very long time, and I haven't thanked him for many of the things in my life. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him for every second I'm here and breathing. I am very grateful to God for putting you in my life because just talking to you has made my life better because I don't always see things in many points of view, you give me the "other side of the story" when it's listening to my relationship problems or just any problems I tell you you're always there to listen. And I'm very grateful for that. One thing that you're good at is that you always tend to see the best in people, you always give them a chance and it is something I learned from you. I'd like to say thank you again just for being there.
Things I need to get off my mind:
I honestly have been having such a hard time with my girlfriend lately because she has been such a a mess (in my opinion) I honestly don't know what she wants from me. Every time I want to do something she says no and when I think of the best for her I get her attitude to deal with because she always thinks I think about myself instead of her. I've been thinking of breaking up with her and I really want to give it a try but it's hard. It's honestly really hard.
If all good things are worth waiting for should I wait and try and fix it?
Do fights really make stringer relationships?
Am I asking for too much?
Am I expecting too much from her?
Am I not the person I think I am?
Furthermore, I think I've changed so much this past year because there have been many things happening in my life. I don't feel like I'm the same person anymore and sometimes I feel like a mess because I really don't know what to do with myself. I can prioritize anything and I don't know if I'm making the best decisions for myself sometimes.
Am I thinking too much?
Do I have the right people around me?
Am I losing myself ?
Am I making the right choices?
Why do I act the way I do?
Where does all the time go?
Do I just need some time to myself and just get everything straightened out?
Speakingmymind.
Anonymous
I would like to remain anonymous because it really doesn't matter who I am, most of you probably won't even know who I am by reading these post because I've hardly ever shown this side of me to anyone.
I'd like to start of my post as a message to Rodmond. Even though we haven't know each other for a very long time, I have grown to think of you as a really good friend and a bro. You have brought me back to a place in my mind where I think God still exist and is part of my life because honestly, I haven't thought of him in a very long time, and I haven't thanked him for many of the things in my life. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him for every second I'm here and breathing. I am very grateful to God for putting you in my life because just talking to you has made my life better because I don't always see things in many points of view, you give me the "other side of the story" when it's listening to my relationship problems or just any problems I tell you you're always there to listen. And I'm very grateful for that. One thing that you're good at is that you always tend to see the best in people, you always give them a chance and it is something I learned from you. I'd like to say thank you again just for being there.
Things I need to get off my mind:
I honestly have been having such a hard time with my girlfriend lately because she has been such a a mess (in my opinion) I honestly don't know what she wants from me. Every time I want to do something she says no and when I think of the best for her I get her attitude to deal with because she always thinks I think about myself instead of her. I've been thinking of breaking up with her and I really want to give it a try but it's hard. It's honestly really hard.
If all good things are worth waiting for should I wait and try and fix it?
Do fights really make stringer relationships?
Am I asking for too much?
Am I expecting too much from her?
Am I not the person I think I am?
Furthermore, I think I've changed so much this past year because there have been many things happening in my life. I don't feel like I'm the same person anymore and sometimes I feel like a mess because I really don't know what to do with myself. I can prioritize anything and I don't know if I'm making the best decisions for myself sometimes.
Am I thinking too much?
Do I have the right people around me?
Am I losing myself ?
Am I making the right choices?
Why do I act the way I do?
Where does all the time go?
Do I just need some time to myself and just get everything straightened out?
Speakingmymind.
Anonymous
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Guest Bloggers...
For some reason this idea is really growing on me lol...I think it'd just be interesting you know...to PERHAPS have different people, most likely my friends or people I know write a post or two on this blog about whatever they want or whatever they're feeling. I think it'd be pretty cool...and it's also a good way to expand my blog, cuz if they wrote a post obv they'd want or hopefully get their friends to read it, but yeah...if you're reading this and you're interested, let me know...
What Are YOU Living For?
I encourage all of you...whether you are christian or not, to check this out...it hit a real hard spot inside of me, and it still does no matter how many times I've watched it already...check it out, it's this pastor named Francis Chan btw.
You Might Not Be The One, But You The One That I Desire...
Have you ever had that feeling where you think you've already found the one, or you feel like someone in your life is the one for you. I know I definitely felt like that in high school at least...I actually fell head over heels for this girl...I mean bad...I would write about her a lot...poems, blog posts...a lot. She was definitely one of the biggest highlights of my high school career...it was weird...you know. I never thought I could care about someone so much...my heart had never felt that way before. I cried for this girl...I poured my heart out for this girl...but then again, I was in high school...I was still young and I still had a lot to learn. But again...as of late...I've been getting that feeling...not with that girl, but a different one...a lot of people who read this are probably gonna badger me about who it is lol...so I won't go into too much detail...but I don't know...sometimes, when your gut, your heart and your brain all agree...that definitely has to say something...right?
Full-Time Blogger
Sounds stupid I know eh lol...but as of late, I told you guys I've been feeling really bland. Honestly, I was just searching up "what should I write on my blog", "how to get my blog popular" and things like that LOL. I read lots of different advice and things like that and I myself have had different ideas as well when it comes to the future of this blog. But at the same time, part of me likes to keep this blog spontaneous...and just random...and just me going on random rants and tangents lol...I dunno...we'll see. Sometimes, as much as this blog has accomplished and as many people as this blog as reached...sometimes I want more you know...but then again, that's the situation for everything in life, we always want more...and I guess sometimes I just want more for this blog...
I'm Feeling...
This is honestly how I've been feeling about life lately lol...I don't know why, but it's come and gone, it sucks but I don't even know what it is...
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Prayer Journal: Day 12
Cssm: I don't know where you are or how you're doing, but I hope it's well. I'm wishing the best for you and your family right now brother. I pray that we can find time to catch up...it's been way too long, I hope you are doing good and that school and everything are good as well, stay up brother.
Sewu: I hope God really calms your heart, trust in Him...He's never failed you yet and He never will. I'm sure what you're going through is just a phase right now...but I'm not gonna lie to you and say it's going to be easy...or that it's going to be a quick and painless process. But God uses tough moments to prune you and help you grow and mature. Considering how long this thing has been going on...expect just as long of a recovery process as well. I encourage you to surround yourself with people who love you and who love God...embrace Him, He loves you more than you'll ever know.
Tycn: Hope you're staying up brother, it's always nice to catch up with you because I relate to you so much...and you're really nice and easy to talk to, and I appreciate that, thank you. I hope all is well on your end...that you're going to church up there and surrounding yourself with brothers and sisters who'll help you grow in your walk.
Cslg: I worry for you, I really do, but I know that God has planted a seed inside of you and hasn't finished His work yet. I hope that you really do have a heart to heart with yourself and realize that these things...this life...is not going to last...it's all temporary, don't put your chips in something that's not going to last man. I'm praying for you.
Sewu: I hope God really calms your heart, trust in Him...He's never failed you yet and He never will. I'm sure what you're going through is just a phase right now...but I'm not gonna lie to you and say it's going to be easy...or that it's going to be a quick and painless process. But God uses tough moments to prune you and help you grow and mature. Considering how long this thing has been going on...expect just as long of a recovery process as well. I encourage you to surround yourself with people who love you and who love God...embrace Him, He loves you more than you'll ever know.
Tycn: Hope you're staying up brother, it's always nice to catch up with you because I relate to you so much...and you're really nice and easy to talk to, and I appreciate that, thank you. I hope all is well on your end...that you're going to church up there and surrounding yourself with brothers and sisters who'll help you grow in your walk.
Cslg: I worry for you, I really do, but I know that God has planted a seed inside of you and hasn't finished His work yet. I hope that you really do have a heart to heart with yourself and realize that these things...this life...is not going to last...it's all temporary, don't put your chips in something that's not going to last man. I'm praying for you.
Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself...
This is just me...extending my hand to a lot of people who I've grown apart from. No not like the usual people I'm talking about. But one group of people in particular is people I was close to in high school then as soon as university started, we cut ties...I don't know how or why...it just happened you know...life took us on our separate paths. I saw one of my old friend's brother a few months back and it brought back so many memories of this one friend...how me and him were close...since elementary to early high school...we were boys lol. We used to write Westside on those thick rubber bands and wear them...LOL. We used to run basketball in elementary school...I was Kobe and he was Shaq cuz he was really tall...man it brought back so many happy memories. Then an even shorter time back...like a month maybe...I saw that same friend\s cousin...we both are pretty well acquainted with each other's families. His cousin was actually the one who saw me and we talked and he's like yeah my friend's parents always bring me up and why I'm not around anymore, he told me to keep it a secret cuz not many people now, but that he's really sick and has to get open heart surgery or something. That was a while back, I reached out to his older cousin a few days ago for his number to see how he's doing...if he's still sick, my prayers are honestly with him, we got each other through some real tough times back in the day and he's my boy from the beginning. But yeah...this post...made me think about all the people I lost connection with...all the people I was close to...like we trusted each other and we shared our stories and our emotions and our lives with each other...but yet we grew apart...damn. I honestly can't wait till like our 10 year high school reunion to see how everybody is..how much they've changed, what they're up to ...things like that, it'll be nice..
Monday, September 16, 2013
No Wifi
Sorry guys...again, I haven't had wifi for the longest time...again using the computers a t school to type this. Waiting for my friend to hopefully reformat my computer and Rogers will turn back on our internet, such a cheeser...I could blog from my phone but I don't wanna kill my 3G cuz I think it's still at 500 mb...my data is changing after this cycle to 2 GB so hopefully that'll be better if I still don't have wifi.
Guess The Word?
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Who Cares?
So a few weeks back, a friend and I went out for lunch and got a chance to talk and catch up. One thing he said that really got to me is that when he was away at school and especially when he was going through a hard time is that no one reached out to him, no one messaged him and no one thought to check up on him...me included. But yeah...he had the idea of switching churches because he felt like as a church we don't care enough about people...that's why people leave, or don't stay very long at least. The fact that he felt like that really sucked and even more that it made him contemplate switching churches sucked even more. But yeah it just made me change the way I looked and approached things I guess. And as of late I've been making a conscious effort to really reach out to people and let them know that we're still thinking and praying for them...it made me try to put myself in their shoes and experience what they're feeling...so yeah, that's just me as of late.
Scholar Grind...
Hey guys, so I know I've been mad slacks again at blogging lol...my wifi has been just up and down. Basically one of the computers at home has a virus and that has infected even the home phone so our provider Rogers is scared it's gonna like infect their system so they keep turning our internet on and off...and now it's off lol so I have no wifi at home and I don't wanna use my 3G on my phone...and it's also a mission to blog from my phone anyways. So that's why I've been so slacks at blogging lately. But yeah...I'm writing this from school right now, I'm in one of the computer labs using their computers. the first week of school has been really easy going. Tuesday was my first day back...went to my only class of the day and it's called Film, Television and Society and all we do is watch shows and films and talk about them lol...like first class we talked about the origins of movies and also how they became popular...it's sick cuz later on in the course we'll be watching shows like The Simpsons, Trailer Park Boys, 24 and even movies like Mission Impossible lol. After that class I picked up one of my textbooks. Wednesday I had no class but I came just to workout, play ball and do some readings. Today is my last day of the week, got one class at 2:30 - 5:30 then I'm done...but it's looking real gloomy outside right now...went to the gym...opened my bag and realized I forgot my shorts and shirt...so now I'm at the computer lab cuz I can't workout and I have like 2 hours to kill...damn. But tonight will be better hopefully...my parents are gonna bring me to Staples to get a new laptop, then we're going to Costco to grocery shop...don't know why I get so excited about grocery shopping lol, I like to pick out snacks and stuff, then of course we got ball tonight which I'm super excited about. First week has been pretty soft so far, but yeah hopefully it'll stay like that lol
Monday, September 09, 2013
Sunday, September 08, 2013
From Me To You...
Where's your head at lately...seriously...this isn't even about me or them anymore...it's about you...being responsible, being mature...and realizing what are your priorities and what should your priorities be. Honestly...this month...and just as of late...you've been disappointing a lot of people...and it seems like I'm the only one that has the heart to tell you...or at least be expressive about it. What are you trying to get out of this...where do you see this...and even yourself in 5 years...you really need to step it up man. I hate it when people bring these things up, but it's true...you're nearing/are already at that age...people are already moved out...married...stable job...income...living their OWN life...I don't know...I'm gonna stop before I get too into this...but I pray that God will firstly calm my heart...and help me get past everything you've done to me and to us...whatever happens happens...but forreal...it's time to step up...and grow up buddy. Again...I feel like a big brother to my big brother,,,
Back To School...
Well, this is it lol...back to school on Tuesday...already started searching for my books online and pretty much have people I'm gonna buy it from. Most people started last week...but my school starts this week...gonna be an interesting year lol. I really do wanna try and attend CCF on Wednesdays...but I don't have school on Wednesdays but I'm not sure if I wanna go and stay that late...and there's crossfit on Wednesdays too. What else...ball on Mondays got moved to Thursday...they may wanna join a league on Sundays...I think that'd be so sick, if we can get enough people that is. Other than that, I don't have much to say lol...I feel like I'm in a really blah kinda mood/funk...like a real whatever kinda mood...I don't really have the heart for anything...only a very small selection of things interest me as of late...same with people lol....I\m just not into it...maybe it's school...maybe it's the weather lol, who knows...maybe things will change when school actually starts.
Saturday, September 07, 2013
Thank You...
I was sitting and thinking the other day about this year...and even more specifically this summer...and how it's just been a great one, in it's own way of course. But this post is just a shout out...a thank you if anything. Lately I've been realizing just how important your friends are...this whole thing with my brother and just this summer of fun and everything...so this is a thank you to a bunch of you...in no particular order and I'm gonna try to keep this short...like hopefully a sentence each person lol...
Oron: Thank you for everything...this year is gonna be weird with you...no homo lol...but we'll see each other throughout the year...thanks for always being there, you really are a true ride or die homie.
Kmdi: Thanks for simply being a down to earth guy, thanks for checking up on me when I was down...I appreciate it.
Hhta: As jokes and arms as you are...I love the conversations we have...thank you for being real with me and always pointing me back in the right direction when necessary.
Args: Wherever you are, whatever you're doing...you're always be the OG homie...and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Wylm: Thank you being one of if not the most down to earth and chill girl I know...I honestly feel so comfortable around you, thank you for being so open and honest with me.
Secg: Thanks for being there and for caring...I'm so happy we're still as close as we are and still can have such an open and honest relationship and that we trust each other so much.
Cllm: Thanks for always leading me back to God...I know things have been rough...but we'll always have a certain special bond between us no matter how far we drift.
Asyn: Thank you for trusting me with everything...thank you for putting up with me and my crazy personality...most of all thank you for being there...always.
Sewu: Thank you for being so down to earth, understanding and easy to talk to...it really means a lot to me...I've always told you that I love your advice, I still mean it lol.
Tywu: Thanks for being a true bro...checking up on me and taking me out when I'm down...we\ve come a long way since we had been in elementary school LOOOOL.
Etlu: Thanks for being a good example for me...I admire the growth and passion in your heart...continue to do His work bro.
Icma: Thank you for being a true big brother in Christ...seeing you grow has honestly been an inspiration to me...you've definitely taken big leaps in your faith...it makes me wanna do the same/
Bstm: Thank you for always keeping me accountable and always being honest with me...and always telling me what I need to hear though it may not be what I want to hear.
Jyyu: Thanks for just the times we had...the jokes, the conversations both serious and fun...I wish you all the best this year...be responsible and smart man.
Tycn: Thank you...for all the talks we've had...it truly means a lot to me and I love our conversations...I pray that you stay firm in God and really seek to grow in your walk and as a christian.
Eccu: Thanks for opening up to me...thank you for being a humble example to me and always calming me down and bringing me back when I stray too far away.
Tyli: Thank you for this summer...thank you for opening up to me as much as you did...I honestly look at you as a little bro. I pray God uses you in whatever way....trust in Him, He'll never fail you.
Jnko: Thank you as well for this summer...all the talks we've had...keeping me accountable and vice versa...I hope we continue to keep in contact this year...thanks bro.
Knyg: Thank you for being so wise and smart...and no matter what the situation, always bringing me back to God...and reminding me that He should be the focus.
Mnyu: Thank you for trusting me and opening up to me...I pray that you grow and mature...and be changed and molded by Him.
Jetn: Thank you for being an example to all the young kids out there...your passion, your wisdom, your maturity...still amazes me...you're destined for great things kiddo.
Gyli: Thanks for being there when I need it and vice versa. I hope we can catch up this year and continue to build our relationship as well.
Jnli: Thanks for being a trust brother in Christ. Thank you for keeping me accountable and always directing me back to the cross whenever I doubt myself and Him.
Tyso: Thank you for opening up to me and trusting me. I'm glad we were able to have a nice conversation. I'll def take it upon myself to reach out to you often.
Knau: Thank you being a great brother in Christ and someone I can depend on and open up to. It really means a lot to me that you trust me and that I can trust you as well, thank you.
Cncn: Thank you for this summer...we got the chance to catch up and swap stories and such...I'm glad we're still close and that you're hungry to learn more about God.
Dywg: Thank you for the talks we've had and for your genuine care. I have no doubt that you are fitting in nicely and that everyone is warming up to you.
Oali: Thank you for being so down to earth and so mature and responsible lol. I honestly love talking to you...please do come around more often and stay around lol...
Slma: Thank you for being a good brother in Christ...I honestly wish that you find what you're looking for and that God will use you wherever you are.
Thank you guys...each of you have played a part, big or small, minor or significant...in helping me grow as a man and as a child of God...thank you.
Oron: Thank you for everything...this year is gonna be weird with you...no homo lol...but we'll see each other throughout the year...thanks for always being there, you really are a true ride or die homie.
Kmdi: Thanks for simply being a down to earth guy, thanks for checking up on me when I was down...I appreciate it.
Hhta: As jokes and arms as you are...I love the conversations we have...thank you for being real with me and always pointing me back in the right direction when necessary.
Args: Wherever you are, whatever you're doing...you're always be the OG homie...and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Wylm: Thank you being one of if not the most down to earth and chill girl I know...I honestly feel so comfortable around you, thank you for being so open and honest with me.
Secg: Thanks for being there and for caring...I'm so happy we're still as close as we are and still can have such an open and honest relationship and that we trust each other so much.
Cllm: Thanks for always leading me back to God...I know things have been rough...but we'll always have a certain special bond between us no matter how far we drift.
Asyn: Thank you for trusting me with everything...thank you for putting up with me and my crazy personality...most of all thank you for being there...always.
Sewu: Thank you for being so down to earth, understanding and easy to talk to...it really means a lot to me...I've always told you that I love your advice, I still mean it lol.
Tywu: Thanks for being a true bro...checking up on me and taking me out when I'm down...we\ve come a long way since we had been in elementary school LOOOOL.
Etlu: Thanks for being a good example for me...I admire the growth and passion in your heart...continue to do His work bro.
Icma: Thank you for being a true big brother in Christ...seeing you grow has honestly been an inspiration to me...you've definitely taken big leaps in your faith...it makes me wanna do the same/
Bstm: Thank you for always keeping me accountable and always being honest with me...and always telling me what I need to hear though it may not be what I want to hear.
Jyyu: Thanks for just the times we had...the jokes, the conversations both serious and fun...I wish you all the best this year...be responsible and smart man.
Tycn: Thank you...for all the talks we've had...it truly means a lot to me and I love our conversations...I pray that you stay firm in God and really seek to grow in your walk and as a christian.
Eccu: Thanks for opening up to me...thank you for being a humble example to me and always calming me down and bringing me back when I stray too far away.
Tyli: Thank you for this summer...thank you for opening up to me as much as you did...I honestly look at you as a little bro. I pray God uses you in whatever way....trust in Him, He'll never fail you.
Jnko: Thank you as well for this summer...all the talks we've had...keeping me accountable and vice versa...I hope we continue to keep in contact this year...thanks bro.
Knyg: Thank you for being so wise and smart...and no matter what the situation, always bringing me back to God...and reminding me that He should be the focus.
Mnyu: Thank you for trusting me and opening up to me...I pray that you grow and mature...and be changed and molded by Him.
Jetn: Thank you for being an example to all the young kids out there...your passion, your wisdom, your maturity...still amazes me...you're destined for great things kiddo.
Gyli: Thanks for being there when I need it and vice versa. I hope we can catch up this year and continue to build our relationship as well.
Jnli: Thanks for being a trust brother in Christ. Thank you for keeping me accountable and always directing me back to the cross whenever I doubt myself and Him.
Tyso: Thank you for opening up to me and trusting me. I'm glad we were able to have a nice conversation. I'll def take it upon myself to reach out to you often.
Knau: Thank you being a great brother in Christ and someone I can depend on and open up to. It really means a lot to me that you trust me and that I can trust you as well, thank you.
Cncn: Thank you for this summer...we got the chance to catch up and swap stories and such...I'm glad we're still close and that you're hungry to learn more about God.
Dywg: Thank you for the talks we've had and for your genuine care. I have no doubt that you are fitting in nicely and that everyone is warming up to you.
Oali: Thank you for being so down to earth and so mature and responsible lol. I honestly love talking to you...please do come around more often and stay around lol...
Slma: Thank you for being a good brother in Christ...I honestly wish that you find what you're looking for and that God will use you wherever you are.
Thank you guys...each of you have played a part, big or small, minor or significant...in helping me grow as a man and as a child of God...thank you.
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Family Over Everything
Today...my brother showed me the kind of person...the kind of man he really is. Basically he came to my room and was like hey if my friends flop are you down to watch a movie...and I'm like what...I'm not no second option...so he's like nevermind wanna go watch a movie and I said sure. We were gonna go watch the 6:45 movie...we get into the car and are midway driving there...he gets a call from his girlfriend of less than 3 months...she's like what're you doing where are you, he's like I'm on the road...but he doesn't mention he's with me. She goes have you eaten yet, he goes nah was gonna get a snack...she goes wanna pick me up and we can get food...he looks at me quickly, then replies and goes sure. I look at him and I'm like uh...okay...so are you dropping me home. My heart and my head were like what the frick...like actually...you made plans with me...we're on the way there...and you flop on me right at that second...drop me home to go have dinner with her. The ride home I told him not to say a word to me...I wasn't even mad...it was more of a wow...damn...and a disappointed kind of feeling. He kept trying to get a word in...but I was like nah...don't even say anything...I don't even wanna hear it. The fact that he kept saying...don't worry I'll make it up to you pisses me to great heights as if he thinks he can like buy me lunch or something and it's okay. It's not even ditching me or wasting my time...but it's the fact that this guy...with no hesitation chose his girlfriend over me...like wow man...wow. I've always known you were a bit selfish...but wow. You would always shower early in the morning as soon as you get up to avoid chores and helping dad do work cuz you're "clean"...but I always let that go. You go out and stay out late instead of staying at home and taking care of dad when he needs it most right now. Right now is honestly not just the tipping point...but it's the most disappointing thing you've ever done to me. I honestly thought we were close...and this summer we've been able to talk like never before and we've both been able to open up to each other...so this hurts. Like really...I've always talked about the future...and how I pray that we remain close cuz you're my only brother after mom and dad pass away...and I hoped our kids would be close cuz they're going to be direct cousins. But the fact that you can choose your girlfriend of less than 3 months over your brother of 21 years is disappointing...you actually disgust me. I have no words for you...like my first thought was wow...I have no brother anymore...like I'm actually laughing about it but at the same time so mad and really disappointed...I don't even know what to say anymore...this is a new low for you...thanks bro.
Sometimes I Tell Myself...
If you wanted to talk to me, you would message me first. If you wanted to chill with me, you wold ask. If you cared about me, you would show it. I dunno...man someone's it's so hard being your friend...because it sometimes doesn't seem like you're down for me as much as you say you are. And on another note, you bring so much baggage to the table, and I care about you and am willing to accept all the baggage...but sometimes and especially as of late, it seems like that's all you bring to the table. But...I keep telling myself that being a good friend sometimes means just being a good friend without expecting anything in return and doing it solely because you care about the person. There's so much more to say...but whatever lol.
Monday, September 02, 2013
Prayer Journal: Day 11
Definitely prayers go out to all you first years out there...who are going into your first year of university, whether staying at home or going away for university...it's a big step. You're gonna be faced with lots of temptations and just new things...it's a whole new ball game. First year university is when most people change the most...it's when you really discover who you are. But yeah, I pray for you guys and girls going into first year...that you'll stay safe and be responsible.
Secg: I don't even know where to start, but I'm really going try to keep this short lol. I hope that whatever happens and whatever God has planned for us in our future...that we'll both continue to grow as people. I hope that you really work hard this year in school and surround yourself with good people. This year's gonna be a long one...stay safe shortie.
Args: Wherever you are...whatever you're doing...no matter how far we've drifted apart...I still wish the best for you and I still have a special place in my heart for you. I pray that you come to your senses...everyone is worried about you. I know you're smart...but surround yourself with the same kind of people...not the ones you're with right now. I hope you get it together this year...whatever that may be...I'd hate to see what would happen if you continue down the path you're on.
Fellowship: I pray for my fellowship...that whatever happens in the future is apart of God's plan and that we'll trust it in. That He'll select the leaders best suited and will properly equip them. I pray that He will be the reason we continue to gather, sing, worship and praise together. I pray that He will give us strength and a sense of direction this year...it's going to be tough.
A New Month, A New Me...
Well not really new...but hopefully my blogging habits will be new lol. Today's really bittersweet...a lot of people are moving into university...this week a lot of people will be starting school or moving into school...so there go all the faces that came back just for the summer...it's pretty sad, I wish I had more time to chill with them. But yeah...I start school on the 9th...a Monday, but I don't have school on Monday so I start on Tuesday lol. It's gonna be a really interesting year...I feel like it's going to be really long, but we'll see. I'm only taking 2 courses...so I'll only be at school 2 days, but I'll probably go an extra day for the sake of it. I'm not sure if I want to work this school year since everyone is saying I'm going to have a lot of free time...but I'm also praying for the discernment that maybe I should be shifting my focus this school year elseware...like fellowship...or something. It's also going to be different because my friend who I've known since high school switched out of York...and I chilled with him pretty much everyday...so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be sticking to myself most of the year lol...but one thing I do wanna do is to meet new people.;..not like a best friend I can chill with everyday, but just new people. Another one is to also hopefully attend the fellowship at my school more consistently lol. My last and probably biggest goal is to just go ham at the gym...since I do have os much free time...in one year...you won't recognize me hopefully...I'll have either gotten really big or really toned lol we'll see...but yeah...can't believe summer's literally pretty much over...school's right around the corner...Christmas is in sight...that means a new year is almost upon us...and of course how could I forget the FOURTH ANNIVERSARY OF THIS BLOG....damn time flies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)