Random Dream

Dream? LOOOOL so have you ever had those kinds of dreams where it literally feels soooo real...then you suddenly wake up and you're like...I swear that happened...but it didn't. Or those dreams where you don't remember it. So to prevent that, whenever I wake up in the middle of the night after those dreams, I write them in my phone to make sure I don't forget. this one was real random. So there's this guy who I was never really cool with in elementary school and throughout high school. He would only really acknowledge me or be buddy buddy when people were around, so I felt he was really fake, he was always douchey to me when it was just us 2. So yeah, I'm lining up at the grocery store, I see this dude behind me...suddenly we start talking and it escalates and we're like arguing or something and suddenly, we start fighting...LOOOOL, I get soo pissed for some reason and I just start like pounding on him...I woke up after that and I was just like...DID THAT HAPPEN? It didn't...LOL, I found it funny though...thought I'd share that.

Today...

I feel amazing as of late...been so active. Woke up this morning, had a protein shake, went to friend's house and had some pre performance drink, hit the gym. Worked out for an hour my arms, arms felt like jello. Went to play ball for an hour and a half and my arms were dying in the beginning, shot was so off...dribbled for a good half hour then played some 2 on 2 and 3 on 3 and felt so nice, my shot was on, arms felt good, yeah. Went for lunch afterwards with same people. Chilled at home for an hour then went to softball practice. Afterwards, helped, my friend move a washing machine outside and move a new one inside, then headed home and had dinner then showered and now chilling lol. Can't wait to go back to the gym tomorrow, then probs head to church for some meetings and stuff. Not excited for Saturday though, got insurance class -_-

Starfield - Can I Stay Here Forever?

Diggy - 4 Letter Word

This song is real catchy...caught the end of 106 & Park and this song was number 1...I can see why lol I really like it...

Kina Grannis - Without Me

Today..

My bad for no posts yesterday...it was a real long and tiring and eventful and also productive day. Got a gym membership on Monday and been going everyday since...yesterday woke up early to go to the gym. Played some ball first, then worked out, then went to lunch with friends, chilled with my friend as he washed his car, went home for a bit then had softball practice, right after got home, washed my hands, legs and feet cuz they were dirty from the sand, changed a shirt, got my phone and wallet then left again for movies with friends. We watched Men In Black II, it wasn't super good, but I didn't have high expectations as it was, so it was alright in my book lol. Today I woke up early again and hit the gym, played ball first then worked out, then went to pacific mall to get screen protectors and a case for my phone, then went home. Literally as soon as I got home, went upstairs and dropped...on the floor. I was so tired, literally fatigued...both sore and out of energy. Laid on the floor for a good like 2 hours, got up, laid on my bed for another good 2 hours and now I'm up lol chilling on my bed, writing this...probs gonna game or shower, then watch the game tonight...I'm so tired...but hitting the gym tomorrow too, and got softball practice too.

Pet Peeves

- when you and someone aren't no speaking terms and instead of that person messaging you...they'll send one of their friends as like a "representative"...c'mon son...

- when your friend invites you or brings you to something then kinda does their own thing and leaves you...it's okay if you know people, but if you don't then that's kinda arms and awks for you...I'm not saying cling to the person who brought you, but it should be up to them to take care of you or show you around you know...

Random Stories

I remember back when I use to live at my old house where me and my friend chilled everyday just playing sports outside and stuff. He had a football and we would literally run around the neighbourhood just tossing the football around LOOOL like running plays and all that stuff. Then we found this nice house with a nice lawn and it was evening ish so the grass was cold ish so we threw it onto the grass and we were diving for it LOOOOL felt too nice hahaha.

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Logic - Love Jones

Logic is an up and coming rapper, he is literally in my top 5. The dude's more...but more importantly his lyrics are really good...like beyond good holy...just damn...check him out.

Today...

Sorry for no posts yesterday guys, was kinda busy...had church, then practise afterwards then just loafted the whole day pretty much. Today however was such a great day...woke up at like 12 ish, went to the Y and finally signed up. Played ball for a good few hours, worked out for like another hour, got subway then finally got home. It just felt so nice to get back to the gym and play ball indoors again. Can't wait to go everyday and just keep playing and strengthen my skills and get stronger as well.

LOL of the Moment

NBA Clip of the Moment

RIP Shawn Bradley...this dude has been dunked on how many times? By how many players? T-Mac don't DO'EM like that!!!

Maribelle Anes - Love You feat. D-Pryde

D-Pryde is constantly growing on me, I'm just liking him more and more...dude is real talented, hope for big thing from him.

Rihanna - You Da One Cover

J.Reyez, Lydia Paek and Tommy C...this is really catchy and cute for some reason haha...

Pet Peeves

Another suggestion from the same friend...shoutouts to him...uh, I got lots of pet peeves, so I'm a try to fill you guys in along the way...as well, I'll try to talk about the things I talk on twitter over here as well...not the ones that are only a few sentences, but the ones I have a lot to say about lol...anyways, some pet peeves...hmm

- slow walkers...I'm guilty of this sometimes, but I move out of the way if someone is behind me, or I try to let them pass...but I hate ignorant slow walkers...I just kinda wanna trip them or something lol

- kids who think they're like celebrities on twitter or facebook or instagram or something...you aren't a celebrity cuz you have a few thousands of friends on facebook, or few thousand followers on twitter or instagram...like seriously...kids think they're so cool...

- people who take the most randomest or repetitive pictures on instagram and put the most annoying tags and beg you to share it....sigh

- ignorant and stuck up people, tends to me kids like niners or something lol...I swear the younger generation is becoming more arrogant and full of themselves...no sense of discipline or respect for their elders...wow

...can't think of anything else right now, but I'll def keep y'all posted, peace...

Random Stories

My friend, shoutout to him, gave me an idea cuz I was tweeting a lot today lol...to transfer my tweets onto the blog. Not the small few sentence ones, but the ones where I actually have a lot to say or the stories. So this was before I moved, me and my boy lived close to one another and he would always come over and play ball, throw the football around, etc. I had these 2 Filipino neighbors who were brothers, one was younger than me by one year and the other a few years. We would always play ball hockey and stuff like that, they were also the ones who taught me how to ride a bike. But anyways, so me and my boy are chilling and my neighbors always let us borrow their stuff, they just tell us to go get it. So this one day they weren't home or something, so me and my boy jumped the gate to their house and were going to take their bikes or something to ride around and I was holding my scooter as well. Suddenly, I hear the door close...I run to see what it is and their parents are home...I run back and tell my boy and we're panicking like mad lol. They know who I am and I'm cool with them, but it just seems a bit awks when we're in their backyard when their children aren't home lol. So my boy's like let's jump the fence, this guy without hesitation jumps the fence right away. I'm holding a scooter, I'm like yo, take the scooter, this guy doesn't respond, I'm like freaking out cuz their probs coming soon...I toss the scooter over, tried to jump the fence, but couldn't. Stepped on their recycling bin to try to give myself a boost and it fell and made a whoooole lotta noise LOOOOL...so I was like whatever...went through the gate and saw the parents and was like Hi...then put my head down and ran away LOOOOOL. I go to the yard where my friend was, he comes out holding the scooter laughing like crazy...LOOOL sooo cheeesed....but I love memories like that.

Today...

What up, my bad...been slacking lol sorry. Yesterday and today were pretty much the same haha loaft days, chilling, gaming, working out at home. Had church yesterday...pretty much it, friends came over here and there to game. Other than that, been pretty loaft lately lol...but showering just now, I was thinking of all the things I have to do lol...there's actually a lot, nothing super...but when it all piles up it gets kinda big...right now I can't remember all, cheesed...but uh, insurance class, figure out classes and stuff for school, sign up for gym, teaching sunday school next sunday...I swear theere's more but right now I can't remember -_-...

Destiny's Child - No, No, No Part 2 feat. Wyclef Jean

Dope song, was listening to all these throwbacks and stumbled upon Destiny's Child and have been jamming to them ever since lol...from Say My Name to Cater 2 U...they are real soothing.

Random Thoughts

Sup...my bad I kinda did it again, no posts -_-. Sorry, loafted all day...woke up around 12 ish...watched some Naruto and stuff. Softball practice from 6-9. It was really fun, the team is real decent actually...the girls in my opinion are better than last year's girls...and have lots of potential and room for improvement that's for sure. The guys are a step down, but I'm not complaining cuz it should be an easier transition for them hopefully. Being one of the senior members and an assistant coach, it's def made me more friendly and opening towards them and I'm getting to know the team really well and just having fun and making jokes and supporting one another when we make mistakes, which is really important in a league like this. Anyways...just going through my blog's stats and stuff...this blog has been viewed 52,000+ times in Canada alone...wowsers, that's way more than half the hits of this blog...damn lol. Second we have the United States with 14,000+ views...that's real shocking and crazy to me considering I don't know...I don't think I know at least...anyone from the States, huh. Third we got the United Kingdom with 4,000+ hits...no comment lol, how on earth these random countries end up finding a blog like mine, I'll never know lol. And 4th, the last country with over at least 1,000 hits is Russia with 1,027...lol that's intense. I'm def real excited and happy about all the visits from around the world, that's crazy lol. If you haven't, on the sidebar to the left are all my links like my twitter, facebook, youtube, tumblr, etc, etc...feel free to check those out and follow me if you'd like.

Today...

What's up, woke up around 12 ish today...went to the mall. Walked around and shopped around, hot some jeans and some shorts. It was really hot outside damn lol. I don't like it when it's really hot and I don't like it when it's really cold. I like it sunny or cloudy with a nice breeze...but not too much breeze where it's crazy wind and you can't play basketball...enough wind to keep you cool but not cold lol. But yeah...we went to Yorkdale mall, got some food first cuz we were really hungry then walked around and shopped around. There were some really, really, really cute girls there...mostly white :) As May kinda comes to an end...summer is a quarter done. I feel like summer is gonna breeze by real quick...especially with so many things coming up...I might get a job, softball practices and games, teaching Sunday school from June to Sept, picking courses for school...I feel like time is gonna fly lol. Like high school kids have a month of school left then it's their summer vacation...gonna be crazy. The weather is finally picking up...it's becoming really sunny and really hot...gonna be mad hectic...shorts and t-shirt weather but you'll still be sweating -_-. Def have been just really chilling lately...having a good time with friends and enjoying life you know...life is short.

Francis Chan - Erasing Hell

This video is so powerful...he talks about we're like clay and God is the potter...and how it's like pieces of clay trying to tell other pieces of clay what the potter is like. He says how we try to be experts of God but we can never be...our only hope is that God can reveal himself to us and we just repeat that to others. There are so many great points in this video and deserves a thorough watch...

80,000 HITS

If you asked me 2 years ago what I expected when I started this blog, I wouldn't know how to answer you. Funny thing, most of you should know...or my close friends at least that I started this blog because my other friend who I really thought highly of at that time started a blog of his own with a few friends. He shut down his blog after a short period of time, but for some reason I decided to keep going. If you asked me 2 years ago if I would have ever imagined my blog to become what it is right now and become as big as it is right now...I would laugh. Not to say this blog is HUGE or anything...but it's big and has blown up in it's own kinda way you know. It's been 2 years and a bit...December will be 3 years. 80,000 hits later...we're still here. We just sounds so much cooler than saying I'm still here, and also it's not all about me, this blog is from me to you...I feel like you guys are literally apart of this otherwise I'd be writing these entries to myself lol. This blog has been through so much...I've shut it down like once or twice but have definitely contemplated shutting it down more than that. There's so much emotion that has been poured out into this blog...happiness, sadness, pain, success, failure, inspiration, motivation, depression, triumph...anything and everything I've felt or have experienced has been poured out into this blog. And you...you reading this post right now, have been with me every step of the way. It's crazy what this blog has become...when I first created it, I simply envisioned music, videos, songs, pictures, some words here and there...it's gotten to a point where it's past surface level and gone to more in depth posts...where I demand more of myself...to really pour out my heart into this blog as if it were a diary...or better yet a person to confide in. This blog has seen ridicule, insults, everything...people have bashed this blog, claimed it was too personal, how it should be more censored...and I'll admit it got to me at first. But as time passed, and with that comes experience and wisdom, I grew up, matured, became stronger and didn't let it get to me. I dunno man, sometimes I think about this blog and just how unreal it is...how big it has become...to have reached so many different places around the world and so many different people. But then I open my eyes and smile...cuz I'm motivated and excited to know how far this blog has come, but more importantly how far there is still left to go...as excited I am about 80,000, I'm already thinking about the 100k, heck...the MILLI...but numbers aren't my top priority for this blog. I'm not trying to get noticed on TV or some website...this blog...is just me. And that's what fuels my fire and strengthens my motivation...all the numbers and audience is a bonus...to really have this blog as a diary or someone to confide in kinda thing, this is why I keep going. I feel like I'm opening up to you, you the reader right now...pouring my heart out to you as if you were sitting right in front of me listening to me with open ears. But yeah...I'm not too sure what else to say but besides to express my adoration and appreciation to God, who has brought me past trials and tribulations and allows me to stand before Him...stronger, wiser, smarter. It is because of Him I am able to wake up in the morning and be productive, be inspired, be motivated. Anyways...thanks to you, the reader, the audience, whether you read this post or not...simply visiting this blog...even by accident means a lot to me. You've gotten to know me a bit and for some of you A LOT if you visit frequently. This is just me...thanks, love you.

Tenth Avenue North - By Your Side

Powerful and beautiful song. God is always by our side, He's never left...but too often we close the door on Him and turn our backs on Him. He has and never will forsake us.

Today...

Hey, I made it lol...meant to blog earlier but got caught up with things. Didn't do much today, loafted...cleaned the house with my dad then hit up the movies just now with my friends and we watched The Dictator, didn't have high expectations for the movie and wasn't excited to watch it, but it def made me laugh out loud more times than I can count haha worth the watch.

Hi...

I know I've been really slack on the blog lately...only doing like "Today..." posts and just summing up my day. My bad, May's been a real hectic and busy month for me, so I've been real loaft on the blog, sorry. But uh, June is a fresh start and I definitely will be on this blog more and giving you guys more of me. But uh...let's see, yesterday I was at church for most of the day...from worship, to a prayer meeting, to worship practise...got home around 6 ish I think. Chilled and stuff...went to play ball outside at some school for an hour then went home lol. Today I have 2 meetings at someone's house then a bbq at their house then maybe fireworks with them but I also wanna do fireworks with my other friends, but I have no ride to get to them lol...

Today...

Sup...my bad about yesterday and no posts. I GOT MY LICENSE YESTERDAY...woke up, got in the car with instructor and 2 other people taking their tests as well. Went last, nerves were hitting me, but failing twice really calmed me down and helped me focus and I got it...so happy, I was yelling and just so excited the entire day telling all my friends. Afterwards, chilled for a bit and then had church...went early to practice songs then had fellowship and we watched a movie, then went to dinner...so cheesed, they took forever to give me my food, literally waited at least an hour I swear...whatever. Today was a mad loaft day, sat at home all day watching stuff, gaming, texting my friends about how bored I was. Was about to go outside and play basketball then my friend called and asked if I wanted to chill with her at the park. So went to the park, talked...walked around for a bit...then went back to her house and chilled with another one of my friends. Played some board games, talked and chilled...it was real fun...played till midnight...hadn't eaten dinner or showered lol...got home and did that and now its like 1 am...caught the ending of the OKC/:LAL game...OKC now up 3-1...YEAH BUDDY, I'm so tired, gotta be up in like 6 hours...goodnight.

Today...

What's up...today was a real fun day. Woke up, had lunch...friend came over to game for a bit. Other friend came over for a bit and chilled waiting for my other friend to come and we went to softball practice, it was real fun...the team looks solid hopefully haha, it should be a real good season. Def have to step it up being one of the more experienced players and leaders on the team. Tomorrow's Friday...redemption day...g2 test...3rd times the charm, pray for me please...this is the biggest thing on my plate atm.

Gotye - Somebody I Used To Know Cover

This cover is so sick...kinda has a dubstep kinda feeling to it...the band is called Pentatonix

From The Heart: The Hardest Moment

Think about how far you've come, not how far you still have left to go.

I feel like I've talked about this before, but it's so important and such a pressing issue that I can't stop repeating it. Life is hard, it hasn't changed, it hasn't gotten easier, it seems like it, but you've just gotten stronger. With experience...by dealing with problems, facing them, confronting them...you've matured and grown as a person. The more you do something or practice it, the better you get at it. The more you learn to face and confront your problems, the more likely the next time you'll be less afraid to tackle it head on. Some problems, your friends can only comfort you, support you and be there for you, they can't actually solve the problem for you. Your friends, your parents...can't baby you forever...you have to learn to face the problems on your own. It's like riding a bike...your parent will be there for you to hold you up...but eventually, they have to let go and let you ride on your own and let you take some bumps and scratches along the way...but it's all a learning process. Just like growing up...you can't live and bum off and depend on your parents forever, you have to eventually move out and start a family of your own and start being responsible for other people other than just yourself. I have a point to all this don't worry...this is directed to no one in particular, just people who feel like they've hit a point in their life...an obstacle in their life that is so unbearable, so hard, so painful that they can't overcome it...they're never moving forward, they stay with what's comfortable cuz it's easy. It's like constantly repeating the same grade, you CAN pass...but you don't wanna cuz you're scared the work load or whatever next year is gonna be tougher so you stay in the same grade cuz you know everything and you're comfortable with it. Listen...right now, you feel like you're at a dead end, a point in your life where you can't run no more...but I'm telling you it's all in your head. That problem that you think you can't overcome, that you're letting consume your life is all in your head. Think back to a time in your life where you were like oh man, i'm never going to get over this, it's so hard, it's so painful, I don't want to. Now look at yourself...look how far you've come and how much you've overcame. Life is full of obstacles, tests, trials...but it's all necessary for us to grow as people, become smarter, stronger...more wise, more experienced. I've been hit with bumps and brusies all my life...mentally, emotionally, even physically lol...but I never let it stop me, I keep moving forward...I keep trying to find ways to improve myself and become a better person. I never let a problem hold me down, I get scared and weak sometimes...but I have people to support me, there's a difference between them being there to catch you if you fall and them taking the lead of YOUR problem. But at the same time...I'm saying it's okay to fall and fail here and there, bumps and bruises are apart of life...it's natural, don't get down on yourself.

Whatever you're going through right now, whatever you feel in your life is so unbearable, so painful, so unconquerable...I'm here to tell you...IT'S ALL GOING TO BE FINE, YOU'LL BE OKAY, I PROMISE YOU. You've made it this far with the scars to show that you've overcame a lot...don't let this hold you down. Life hasn't gotten easier, you've just gotten stronger. Don't think about how much you still have left go...think about how much you've overcome and conquer to get to where you are right now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Today was my birthday...well an hour and some ago at least, i've been mia from the blog, sorry, been really busy these couple days...lemme fill you in...

Sunday...had church, then went to go meet with some dude to pick up my iphone 4, got it...excited to use it, turns out my iphone 3gs sim card was too big...so couldn't use it that day...

Monday...woke up extra early to go to the mall and get the right sim card, it was like $10 and they activated it for free. My friends called me up and wanted to chill before my bday dinner...so they came over, we went to the park, chilled and played grounders, went back to my house chilled for a few more minutes then headed out to all you can eat sushi where my other friends met up with us. After that,  headed back to my house just to chill, talk, play some board games, watch the basketball game and bring it my birthday. After 12 they all wished me happy birthday and most of them let except 3 of my friends. We all stayed till like 3 am and just talked about so many things, had really deep in depth discussion cuz one was out youth intern pastor and 2 were these girls I'm really close with. So we all shared out problems and issues and stuff and just offered advice to each other and just had a real heart to heart to heart to heart conversation, it was real good...I liked it and yeah.

Tuesday...the day of my birthday...woke up and parents were at work, bro wished me hbd...friend called me up to chill at the park and we did, played some softball, met up with more friends, played some grounders...then I headed home cuz my parents were taking me and my bro out to a lobster dinner. Afterwards, headed home at 9 ish and went out with my friends to go watch a movie. It was real fun, came home around 12 ish.

Can't believe I'm 20...the day felt like it went by so fast...I'm so grateful to all the people who wished me happy birthday...all the msgs...the cards...the calls...the posts...tweets, everything. It really amde my day...I loved chilling with all my friends and just really having a good time, no worries. I promise I'll be more up to date with the blog, sorry...now the only thing on my mind right now is getting my license...that's the biggest thing on my plate right now...other than that, the hectic part of May is over, we're over the hump...now it's just downhill and smooth road from here.

Craig David - Snows In July

Soooooo good, my jam atm...

Today...

Today is mother's day, hope y'all had a wonderful time with your moms, hope y'all did some really thoughtful and heartfelt things for them cuz they deserve it. It's cliche to say, but you should treat your mom and dad like everyday were mother's or father's day...they work damn hard to provide for you, they've already lived a full life, the reason they continue to work so hard is to pay the bills, put food on the table, clothes on your back...and make it so when you're on your own, your life will be easier, they're trying to take care of all the little things right now like mortgage and what not so you won't have to worry about it when you're older. But yeah...today was a chill day at church. My friend called me out on being really slack on the blog lately lol...either not posting or having very minimal posts...yeah that's my fault, I'm sorry, the second half of May will be much better, promise. After church, met up with a dude to get my new iphone 4, only to find out my sim card for my iphone 3gs is too big and the sim card in the 4 requires a smaller diff sim card...sigh...gotta get a new sim card tomorrow, such a hassle. What else...looks like I got the job at timmies, just waiting for the call, no need for an interview. Softball is starting thursday...pracs are gonna be tues/thurs, which means no time for tues movies or thurs ball :(....my g2 retest should be soon and I'm ready to just kill it! Anything else...my birthday is in 2 days lol...may 15...can't wait, chilling with my church homies tomorrow...kinda disappointed cuz a lot of them flopped on dinner and are only coming to my house after...so dinner's only gonna be a few of us...was kinda cheesed, but I can't do much about it...but I'm def not happy about it either, whatever...all I know is if it were vice versa...I'd be there...not gonna get into this, sigh...just tryna enjoy my last few days of being 19 before I turn the big TWO ZERO...

Today...

Sup...yesterday was a Friday. Woke up early to go to a warehouse of perfume/cologne/shampoo/belts, etc, stuff like that...got my mom a gift and some small stuff for me. After that, played some softball with a few friends, just threw the ball around. After that, had fellowship and watched Courageous, only half of the movie...but it seems like a really interesting movie. Today, had a meeting at BTBC for softball, then a leadership meeting, then chilled with my friend from BTBC who I hadn't seen in a while. Went to the mall cuz she needed to get her mom a gift for mother's day, caught up, talked and stuff, I love that I can not talk to her for a long while or not see her for a long while, but talk to her as if we were never apart...sharing problems and just trying to help each other out and keep each other accountable. Afterwards, my friends from school who I grew up with came over and chilled, gamed...went out to dinner with them at KBBQ...soo full lol. Now just chilling, hopefully getting a new phone tomorrow...iphone 4 :P

Random Thoughts

Hey...I dunno why, but for the past few days...or for the past little bit...I've just been like haunted...by the fact that I've failed by driving test twice...I have to wait 10 days to take it again and as the days get closer where I have my 3rd retest...it's like it gets scarier and scarier, the pressure gets more and more intense and the need to pass becomes more and more necessary. I really don't wanna fail a 3rd time and...the fact that I've failed twice has really hit me hard lately...I know God has a reason for everything and a purpose for everything that is far beyond my comprehension...but I'm just nervous, anxious, frustrated...I just want this feeling to go away, I just wanna pass and be free you know. Maybe i'm overreacting but this is kinda a big burden that's really bothering me right now...like I said...it's like haunting me...I can't get it out of my head...especially when I talk about it with friends and stuff... dunno...maybe with the day coming closer where I take my retest, it's just getting to me more and more...please pray for me, I'm really annoyed and just frustrated about this whole thing.

Today...

Sup...my bad, no psots these past few days. Tuesday was a real long day...woke up at like 12 ish, went out right away to go to the mall for mother's day shopping with friends. Tried a frappucino for the first time since it was half price, it's not bad. Afterwards, walked around some more, got shoe cleaning stuff to clean my Jordans, never worn them yet. Got my brother some clothes from Jack and Jones for his bday. Decided to get perfume for my mom on Friday cuz there's a sale at some warehouse. The next day was my brother's birthday, the wednesday...was a real loaft day, could've blogged but I think I was too tired and lazy lol. Went out for dinner with the fam for his bday to Red Lobster...sooo good. Today was just a chill fun day. Friends came over and we played videogames until ball at night. Knee still kinda sore...wore a small brace and it def felt better, but still didn't go real hard...man I'm dying with a cell phone, it;s be like 10 days or so...sigh.

Usher - Climax Cover

Someone posted this on facebook, it's sooooo good and so soothing and relaxing.

Random Thoughts

Today was not a good day...woke up early for my g2 retest and I failed...nuff said. What really cheeses me is that I was so close, almost done, literally at the finish line...the last thing was parallel parking, which I do a million times and I'm pretty good at it...but I usually do it behind a car...at the test I did it between 4 pylons..so I hit one of the back pylons and failed. It really sucks knowing I was so close...to passing...I could taste it, feel it...after that, I would've just turned into the parking lot and finished...sigh...just sulked the rest of the day. But had some good conversations with a few friends, my brother and my dad and it really made me feel better. Gotta wait 10 days till my next test...no need for anymore lessons cuz the instructor said there's no need, sigh...hopefully 3rd times the charm...otherwise I really will cry and lose my mind...other than that, it was a loaft day.

Today...

What's up...I know there were no posts yesterday, my fault. What did I do yesterday...oh right, woke up early and had an interview to get into the concurrent education program at York. The wait was more nerve racking than the actual interview. It was a room full of people in a circle cuz that's how the desks were placed...it was mad quiet lol no one was talking or saying anything and everyone was dressed real nice lol it was like some top secret meeting or something. But yeah, one by one, people came in and called people's names to go for their interview, so people left, but more people also came in. Finally they called me and the interview was real relaxed surprisingly...there were 2 people, one girl writing everything I said down and the other asked questions. I fumbled a bit, but it was real chill lol they were like it's okay don't worry and they helped me out and stuff, cuz they don't make the decisions, they just pass the info down to the people. But yeah, after that, just bussed home and chilled lol. Today was a looooong day, woke up at 7 for driving at 8 - 9:30..cuz my retest is tomorrow. Got dropped off at church and after church had lunch then prayer meeting. I almost fell asleep on NUMEROUS occasions. After prayer meeting had a praise team meeting then finally home..so tired. Nervous yet relaxed for my g2 retest tomorrow...knee still kinda hurts, I wanna hit the gym and run ball so bad. As well I want my phone back, but at least 2 more days -_-

From Me To You...

I hate how I have to constantly repeat that I hate people check this blog to see how I'm doing instead of asking me in person cuz I'm more "honest" on the blog. IF you were a good friend...you'd make a better effort into actually communicating with me like a real person. I keep saying, what if I took down the blog one day...that means you'd have to actually TALK to me in person...woah, scary.

Random Thoughts

No one likes the feeling of being replaced, it sucks knowing someone who meant so much to you and vice versa could replace you so easily without a second though.

We often want what we cannot have or want what we use to have but no longer have even more. When something is just there, it's not desirable, for some reason when someone else picks it up and has it, we suddenly see it's value and want it. You don't know something's true value until you've had and lost it.

I'm a jealous person only in some cases...

As I was sitting thinking in my own little world...the conversation me and my friend had on Tuesday after the movie in his car flashed back in my head. How a lot of my problems are related or derive from a certain group of people. How maybe I involve myself too much with them...well not that, but like...how I get in too deep with them sometimes. A lot of the things I write about on this blog have some sort of correlation that can be traced back to them. I replayed the words he said to me over and over and I took a deep breath, and took a big step back...all the feelings of being replaced, jealousy, want, desire...I took a step back from all that, really distancing myself between these people. Not in a negative kinda way...but it's like...say it's a really cold day...I'm sitting beside a fire place...I'm only trying to warm myself up to the point where I'm comfortable and warm...not to the point where I'm sweating and uncomfortable, you know.

Guys are often stereotyped into not being very emotional or not being very deep...how we only see things on the surface. That's so wrong on so many levels...I myself at least...tend to over analyze even the simplest things and try to find some hidden message behind it. Today...reflecting on the conversation me and my friend had, I took a step back, took a deep breath...and just underanalyzed things and just took things for what they were worth...I dunno.

This summer...after my G2 and my interview for school...I'm gonna be real relaxed and also when I get a job too...I wanna be a good friend, but sometimes...it's like I get all these feelings and I dunno how to explain it you know. The words my other friend once spoke to me also relay in my head...how he just wanted to chill and relax you know...have friends you can talk with and bond with...but also have a good time, friends who aren't constantly bringing you drama...yeah you wanna be there for them, but it's like they're always negative and always looking on the down side of things...you get a 90% and they asked where's the other 10%...those kinds of people. I dunno...I hope no one takes this post the wrong way...cuz surprisingly a lot of people go on this blog, but what's even more surprising to me is a lot of people take the time out to read posts like these lol...who knew y'all would be so fascinated with my life...huh.

But yeah, as for now...I just need to not get in too deep...like my analogy from before with the fireplace, yeah it's fine to get warm, just make sure you don't get over the point and you start sweating and stuff you know?

Today...

What's up...woke up at like 1 today. Went to Markville's Fido to see if they could do anything to my phone, their server was down, so went to sushi lunch with my mom. After that, headed home for driving, came home and went to pmall cuz my mom knows someone at Fido and turns out he said my phone is easy to fix, so gave him my phone and hopefully he can fix it. Other than that, just an average day today. But May in general is gonna be real busy/hectic for me. Plan for fellowship on friday, interview at school on saturday, driving class before church on sunday, then church then praise team practise, g2 retest of monday, timmies might call me next week, bro's bday and mothers day on same day...plan for my bday...after my bday, May should be more chill and relaxing hopefully...also need to sign up for gym too. 2 things I neeeeeed to get off my plate are g2 test and interview for school...pray for me

From The Heart: 19 And Counting...

What up...went to watch a movie at like 10 ish, came home at around 12 ish...sat in my friend's car and just talked for a good hour or so. We started talking about cell phones and trying to fix my cell phone, to talking about beef and stuff like that, to drama and stuff like that, to life and stuff like that. I'm just so grateful and appreciative of friends like him, to be able to talk to about anything, swap advice, stories, problems, experiences...anything. These are the friends I know I will cherish till I'm old with white hair. We talked about things like high school beef...people talking about us...how kids are just whack nowadays. The people we've met in high school, the friendships we've carried on. We talked about school...the future, life, problems. I dunno, it was a really random, yet eye opening and heartfelt conversation. We touched bases on so many topics and he shed light on so many things in my life. It really opened my eyes...I'm turning 20 soon...in less than 2 weeks...that's the beginning of a new decade in a my life. A chance to start fresh...with things, people...and situations in my life, a chance to just have a clean slate. I know this post doesn't really make sense, it's a kinda thing where you really had to be there yourself and be apart of the conversation to understand it. We talked about church, problems, girls...just being really babied and sheltered in Markham and being so use to and uncomfortable to everything that you kinda get sick of it sometimes and take it for granted. Same thing with people...too much comfort or being too use to someone and knowing someone too well can be a downfall as well...you get into fights a lot cuz you know all their habits and it may annoy you or something. I dunno man...at one point, I just really closed my eyes, put my head down and took in the whole conversation and everything that was said...it really eased my mind on a lot of things and relieved a lot of stresses and burdens that have been really in my heart for the longest time but kinda were swept under the carpet. These are the kinds of friends who would do anything for you, who would be there in a heartbeat...who you sometimes fight with and get mad at over dumb things, but still know that you're boys till the end. That's all I can really say, I know you might not understand this post, it's just kinda a bunch of words strung together...but it really hit home for me at least...and yeah.

Today...

Today I woke up at like 12:30 ish, no phone...meaning no alarm...or mp3. Headed to the mall with my friend who I hadn't seen in the longest time. It was really fun to catch up and have good conversations with him, def hope to keep in contact and chill with him more in the summer. Got a new batter for my laptop, but bad news was my phone is messed and looks like I'll have to get a new one -_-...after, headed home and chilled, loafted and was gonna go play ball at church with my dad and his friends, but instead hit the movies with friends and that waspretty much my day.