Drifting

I feel like as you get older, quality of friendship becomes so much more important than quantity in friendship. Or maybe you feel the same way right now, who knows...for me, as I've gotten older...I\m much more content having 2-3 super close friends than like 10-15 acquaintances or buddies. I've been thinking a lot about people I used to be super close with, friends who I've shared super personal conversations with and shared fun and dope memories together. But not all friendships last, and not all of them are meant to last. I have a lot of friendships that just didn't work out, we grew apart...then I have other friendships where we simply cut each other off, for varying reasons. But one thing for sure...is that when you do share those memories, conversations and such with a friend...you'll always have that, even tho you may not be close friends anymore. I have A LOT of friends who I'm still very cordial and casual with...who I'll see and ask how they're doing and some even ask to go out and catch up. But I know deep down it'll never be the same...because it just won't...again for varying reasons, BUT we'll always have those memories, those conversations and that period of time where we were super close friends. I have so many friends who I'll see and still have so much love for, but they won't be people I'll go out of my way to see or talk to on a consistent basis, isn't that funny how life moves on? I recall an old conversation with a friend. This was a girl I thought the world, we would always take late night walks at the park and just sit there for hours, talking. One look at her face and I would know if and what was wrong with her. But time and life moves on as it should...and we drifted apart. So the conversation went like this...essentially, she was asking me what happened, how and why we drifted apart. She asked me this from a very content standpoint, not in a looking to become best friends again standpoint, as we were both at a point in our lives where we had new groups of friends and we were in different stages of life, we had changed...we weren't those kids anymore who were best friends, who took walks at the park. But yeah anyways, she asked me that question, what happened...and I couldn't answer, cuz to be honest I wasn't sure. It's one of those things that slowly but surely happened. Messages got shorter, replies took longer, we saw each other less and less...no particular reason, it just happened. There was a point where she got a boyfriend as well, you know the drill...we drifted apart. She then brought up another girl...she was like the way you look at her, the way you talk to her...that's how you used to see me. And I was like damn...you're right. Now she didn't say this from a jealous or bitter standpoint...it was more of like pointing out something she noticed. And I was like you're right...in a sense, it's kinda like she replaced you, but not really of course. But it is kinda like that isn't it...whenever there's a void, we look for something to fill that void...whether you've just broken up from a boyfriend or girlfriend or gotten into an argument with a best friend or they move away. Isn't that interesting how life moves on? Sometimes it's weird...seeing your ex with their new significant other. Or seeing a former best friend with another best friend? Thinking to yourself, that used to be me...but knowing at the same time that if you could put yourself in that person's shoes, you wouldn't...because you're not that same person anymore. Life moves on, people change...but you'll always have those memories to keep you connected with the people you shared them with.

Too Much Information

Geez, I'm sorry...so much for posts every other day...literally it's been so busy, like I've literally been out and about pretty much everyday and on the few days I haven't been, people have been over and stuff...so it's been difficult to find time to blog lol, But uh, let's end of 2017 strong and give y'all posts everyday till we ring in the new year. Merry Christmas to y'all,,,or happy holidays to be 'politically correct' lol. What have I been up to lately. A lot of like family stuff, seeing friends, going out...I love this time of year...because it's so busy...everyday's back home and off work for the most part...so there\s a lot of events, the malls are super busy, but yeah. So anyways...I met a couple new people in the fast few days and it made me realize that despite being a shy person, I'm very open. Does that make sense? How can you be shy and open at the same time? Well, I dunno tbh...like I had just met this one guy...he was selling something to me, and then I started rambling about how my day went and I caught myself and had to stop. Yesterday, same thing I was talking to this guy I had met for the first time and started rambling like man, I had such a long day today, I did this and this...then I was like oh true my bad you prob don't care lol. It's interesting considering how deathly quiet I used to be...and somewhat still am but not really to this day lol. Like the more I thought about it I was like damn...there's some things in my life I used to be hella private about, hella scared to tell people...like failing some courses in university...like I swear that isn't even a secret anymore, or like I'm so open about it. Or being so open about just talking about my struggles or relationships. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say oh look at me I'm so open, I'm so honest. Cuz honesty can be to a fault as well. It remind something my friend once said which sticks with me to this day...which is that I don't have to blog everything...she's like you know some things you can and are meant to be kept to yourself...and I remember that was when I went a week without blogging...because she was right, some things are meant to be kept to myself you know. But that's also become the story and theme of this blog, that it's so open and honest. That I love coming here and telling y'all everything. But I also understand there\ll probs come a day where this blog will end...but let's not end on a sour note lol...as I said, posts everyday from now till the new year, look out folks, peace.

Would You Rather?

I was having this internal debate with myself a long while ago...and so I bring that same debate I was having with myself over to you. I forgot what triggered this debate...but essentially I asked myself...would you rather be deaf or blind if you had to pick one. And it's something I struggled with going back and forth between. It made me think of life in like the most intricate but also the most simplest aspects. Like being blind you can't see...little things like seeing the clouds, seeing the sun rise and set. Seeing faces, colours, all that stuff. Little things like walking become more of a difficult task. Reading, having to learn braille...or even like playing basketball, everything in life has to be modified so you can use your other senses. Having to use things like audio books or having to listen to shows and movies. I thought of like so many little things that we do naturally and don't really think about. But then...being deaf, not being able to hear and have proper conversations with people. Having to learn sign language, read subtitles on shows and movies. Your friends and family having to learn sign language as well in order to communicate with you. I literally struggled to decide which of the two I'd choose. And please don't get me wrong as I'm not trying to make light of either of these things. If anything, it really made me value life...and the little things...being able to wake up in the morning and see my parents, hear them tell me to sleep earlier and all that stuff. I dunno, what do you think about this? Is there one you'd choose over the other?

Guest Writer #33: Young Gerald

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend Agnes Part 2 

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

#32: Mike Bibby 

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Why can't y'all recognize

That we all came from sacrifice?

If you know the reference, you are a real one lol. Anyways, I guess this is a response/continuation of Rod’s recent post: Embrace Your Singleness 2. To me, life seems to be all about making sacrifices. From something like “do I sacrifice an hour of sleep for an extra hour of videogames?” to sacrificing 4 years of your time for a “prestigious”, “recognizable” piece of diploma, a lot of times we are forced to make decisions because time is so finite. The question that begs then, is “are the sacrifices worth it?”. Obviously, this is a subjective question. What is the best decision in a situation depends on different contexts, and the individual’s values too. I mean, think about it. After spending 4 lengthy years in school, heck some graduates are still unemployed. Is it worth it? To some, they might say no, because having a degree didn’t get them a job. To others, they might say yes despite being jobless, for the theoretical constructs they have learned, for the experiences that have transpired and prepared them for adulthood, for all the valuable friends that they have met throughout. For myself, sometimes I really don’t know if my sacrifices are worth it or not. You know? Working hard, getting promoted, saving up for a car, a house, and starting a family, blah blah blah. Am I sacrificing for myself? or my family? Sure enough, money is a crucial aspect of life. But there are also so many things money cannot buy, like time, experiences, long-lasting happiness. I really wish there is someone who I can share my life with, someone who is also willing to share their burdens/struggles with me. Ultimately, someone who will make these sacrifices worth it. But unfortunately, that is just a part of life that you can’t control. I remember a friend once said something to me along the line of “if someone leaves you at your worst, he/she doesn’t deserve you at your best.” Needless to say, I am beyond thankful for those who chose to stick around in my life. Those who have supported me in my struggles, those who have believed me when I didn’t believe in myself, those who have reached out with a kind heart and loving encouragements… I will never forget it. Life might feel lonely and real difficult at times, but those who love and care for you will always give you meaning to keep living.

Put the hours in, put the work in

Swear I try so hard to be perfect

But sometimes, it feels like a burden

Cause I still ain't crap but a person

8 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Hey friends...wow, 8 years. I don’t think I’ve ever been this dedicated to anything in my life. To think I’ve almost been doing this for a decade. It’s funny cuz I was having a conversation with my barber and he’s like yo can you see yourself doing this for the next 10-20 years. And I hesitated, cuz to be honest I wasn’t sure. I don’t wanna get too deep into that topic...but for now, I just wanna enjoy the ride. If it’s meant to end somewhere down the line, soon or later...then at least we’ll have all this time we’ve spent together. But yeah some bts for you guys lol, so this photo was taken in the span of 2 shoots. Finished the first shoot and didn’t like how it turned out so went back again the next day and finished it up. Shoutout to my friend for helping me both days. But yeah I’ll post the ig caption along with both pics.

“Hey friends...wow, 8 years. I don’t think I’ve ever been this dedicated to anything in my life. To think I’ve almost been doing this for a decade. It’s funny cuz I was having a conversation with my barber and he’s like yo can you see yourself doing this for the next 10-20 years. And I hesitated, cuz to be honest I wasn’t sure. I don’t wanna get too deep into that topic...but for now, I just wanna enjoy the ride. If it’s meant to end somewhere down the line, soon or later...then at least we’ll have all this time we’ve spent together. But yeah some bts for you guys lol, so this photo was taken in the span of 2 shoots. Finished the first shoot and didn’t like how it turned out so went back again the next day and finished it up. Shoutout to my friend for helping me both days. But yeah I’ll post the ig caption along with both pics.”

Embrace Your Singleness 2

Here's the original version I wrote in 2015
Embrace Your Singleness

I was talking to a friend and she said something to me...she told me that "singleness is a gift". Which inspired me to write about this...and the more digging I did, I found an old post written in 2015...it's interesting to read how I felt about this back then. But it's kinda the same thing you know. How can you be all in to take care of somebody else when you yourself aren't even in a right state of mind. How can you take care of somebody else when you can't even take care of yourself? Often we say that love and relationships are a gift...but so is singleness. Honestly tho, who here enjoys their alone time? I cherish my alone time...just being able to be by myself, in my own thoughts and just relaxing. So it's not really about finding the right person, sometimes it's about building yourself up and taking care of yourself to be the right person for somebody else, y'feel? Especially seeing a lot of my friends in relationships...I see how little free time their have as individuals because they are always spending time together....not only that but they hardly have time for friends. Now I'm not saying that once you're in a relationship, there goes your free time and say goodbye to your friends...but essentially it's another piece of the pie that has to be split. Imagine if your time is split in half between family and friends...introduce a partner and that takes your time from halves to thirds meaning less family for your family and friends in order to make time for your partner. And of course pieces can shift and you might end up taking even more time from your family and friends and giving it to your partner meaning the pieces won't be evenly divided, you get what I'm saying? I think what I took from it is that with a relationship, comes a lot...a lot of sacrifice, a lot of commitment, a lot of time and a lot of effort. It's not all holding hands, date nights, hugs and kisses and all that...it's hard work...and that's something I don't think a lot of people realize when they get into relationships. So cherish your singleness guys...and girls, you might miss it once it's gone lol...or not....haha till next time, peace out.

From The Heart #3

From The Heart #1
From The Heart #2

Figuring Out Life
Hey friends, where all my 90's babies at? And I mean like early 90's babies, those of y'all hovering around your 20's...are y'all here? Are you reading this right now? Your mid 20's are such a weird stage I swear...it's a lot of figuring stuff out and a lot of transitioning. For me, it's about change...but it's about the little changes here and there. That is until I was watching this one vlog and this guy talking about the change that happens in your mid 20's. He was like from your 10's to your 20's the amount of change that occurs is extreme...physical, mental, emotional...there's so much change that occurs from your 10's to your 20's...so much visible and concrete change...you get taller, your voice gets deeper, all that stuff. Then he went on to say...if all that change is happening from your 10's to 20's...imagine all the change that is happening from your 20's to 30's, whether you realize it or not...how you handle problems, your maturity, your priorities, all that stuff. He was saying how by 30...you should hopefully have some sort of goal or vision figured out...and I fully agree with that. Like as much as people move at their own pace and such...I truly do believe that by 30 or at least around 30, you should have at least a rough sketch or idea of what you wanna do or some sort of goal you wanna achieve...otherwise you have no direction in life you know. That's not to say you have to have a masterplan and every next step well thought out and planned...it's saying you should have at least a good idea of what you wanna do and how you plan on doing it, right? I don'r wanna put a cap or a ceiling on myself by saying like oh by 30 you have to have something figured out, you have to know what you wanna do or where you;re going in life. But at the same time I want to...because if you don't, it creates laziness and a lack of motivation. It's kinda like when you know there's no deadline for a project, so you loaft on it, whereas when you know okay boom this essay is due on this day...you can at least grind it out the night before, but all the days before that you're thinking about it, it's on your mind, you're stressing about it...because there's a timeline to meet. I don't know about you my fellow 80's babies...but a lot of my 20's thus far and especially after graduating university has been trying to figure out life, trying to plan out my future BUT also trying to trust God and reminding myself that he has a plan for me. That all this confusion, uncertainty and stuff is part of his plan, part of what faith is. That's all I really got to say for now...see ya soon.

Confessions Of A Bully

"A bully half my life, bullied the other half
That really weird kid you used to point and laugh
But I grew up, barely avoided being a screw ip
Working on the dreams that my mom and dad drew up"
- RT

Who here has been a bully raise your hands? I sure have...I've been a bully but I've also been bullied...as the verse I wrote above suggests. Man when I was like in grade 4-5, I was a mean kid, I was a rough kid...that's why I always say younger Rodmond would beat up today's Rodmond hands down LOL. I remember just picking on and pushing kids around for the fun of it...cuz I enjoyed instilling fear in people you know. Walking around and people backing away...their fear gave me a sense of comfort and assurance...but it was only assurance in my own weaknesses. Man, I remember some kid was eating fruits from a plastic container and he finished it and put the container on the sie during recess. I saw it...kicked it to the ground and stepped on and it broke...this kid was crying and yelling at me and I just laughed, damn I was a horrible kid. I remember stealing this kid's pen and he cried and told on me and I threw the pen in another girl's desk and I didn't get booked for it LOOL, man I was terrible. But I've also been bullied before too...my "friends" laughed at me cuz I liked to stay inside at recess and play yu gi oh at one point in my life. There was a point in my life where I'd never get picked to play tag or to play red rover and when we all put our shoes in to decide who would be it, they'd never let me play. Trust me...I've been on both sides of the coin...and am very familiar with both. It's a big reason why I ass a person today...I love to encourage people. I think of the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me....sometimes words cut deeper than any physical abuse could ever do. But back to the encouragement part...I feel like this blog...in a sense is somewhat of a source of encouragement, at least I hope it is...for some people...maybe experiencing similar things or can be inspired or encouraged by my words. It's also why I love being around younger kids so much...cuz they're such a joy to be around (most of the time)...they're living, breathing encouragements for me...seeing them grow, mature, love and take care of one another...I love it. And part of the reason why I'm so big on encouragement is because of my experiences...as a bully and as the bullied. It's made me who I am...being able to understand both sides of the same coin. But yeah, that's all I have for now...see you soon, peace.

Emotionally Driven

So I’m a very emotional guy...clearly LOL. I think I wrote about it before...or a lot...who know. My friend once said that everything inside of me is like emotionally connected...whereas when something bad happens to me, my whole system like shuts down because everytning is emotionally connected. But that’s besides the point for today’s post. I was reading a Post Malone interview and he said that emotionally intense songs are the easiest to write and he was referring to his song “I Fall Apart”. He said that when you’re sad, upset or feeling something, you have so much to say. And that reminded me of this blog...how whenever something happens or I’m going through something, those posts are the easiest to write because they happen so organically and because I have so much to say. And the days I’m rushing to put out content or loafting on putting on content, it’s usually cuz nothing’s happening in my life. That’s kinda the story of this blog lol...especially when I go back and read old posts and am able to tell what was happening and how I was feeling and sometimes I can feel the emotion I felt as I was writing that post as well. Are you the same way? I know a lot of friends who are the opposite, very calculative and in a sense lacking emotion. But it’s a good thing in a sense that they don’t get attached very easily and it also means they don’t get hurt very often, but yeah that’s something entirely different that I can go into. But yeah, sorry about the short post today, I’ll see you in a bit, peace!

The Art Of Listening

The Art Of Being Lowkey
The Art Of Surprise

Hey people, so a long time ago, probably some time when I was high school...I remember having a conversation with my cousin. It doesn't really matter what we were talking about, I remember we were on a train, and I was standing across from her but I was looking down at my feet and the floor...suddenly she goes "Rodmond, you know when you talk to people, you gotta look them in the eyes, it lets them know you're part of the conversation, that you're engaged, that you're listening." Ever since then, I've really made it a conscious effort to be engaged and to be a good listener, and for the most part, people have told me that I am a good listener. Eye contact (aside from driving and some other situations) is perhaps the most key indicator of listening and being engaged. See you can be hearing the words someone is saying, but that doesn't mean that you're listening to what they're saying. Sometimes as a friend...and I'm sure most of y'all have been on both sides of the spectrum...but I  personally feel a super important quality in a friend is simply being present, being there to listen to someone rant...some might see it as just being a lifeless body or a set of ears...but it's so much more than that...especially when you're on the other end and are the one ranting and pouring your heart out...having someone on the other end as a "set of ears" lets them know not only are they being heard, but that they're being cared for. Listening isn't just hearing what's being said...it's so much more, it's truly an art, because there's so many components. It's body language, posture, eye contact, listening intently and intentionally. The other part of listening is also responding...it can be as simple as nodding your head, chiming in like "oh okay, yeah keep going"...usually even if people are ranting and talking for long periods of time, they'll pause here and there...that's your in to just show you're listening you know and actually hearing what they're saying. The worst is talking to somebody and feeling like they're not hearing what you're saying. I really hate that...to the point where as of late...I'll just stop whatever I'm talking about because I'm wasting my time if I know the person isn't engaged...if the person is just hearing but not listening. People tell me I'm a quiet guy or always ask why I don't talk that much in certain situations...tbh I just like listening and hearing what people have to say....I think it's what I'm good at. I remember talking to this one friend and she was like you know, you're a really good listener, she's like that's why people like to come to you to rant and to talk. And the more I thought about it...a lot of my good friends, a lot of people in my life...love to talk...LOL. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I mean if people love to talk, someone's gotta listen right. I'll leave y'all with this..cuz Jackie Chan says it best...enjoy.

What Grinds My Gears

Hey friends hope you're doing well...so I'm talking to my dad yesterday and he goes hey...if your friend doesn't answer your phone call, they're not a real friend. My dad then proceeds to rant and stuff about how he hates when people don't pick up their phone. So here's some back story...so Saturday, I went to the washroom, didn't take my phone in like I usually do cuz I figured it'd be a quick one, I do that when I think I won't be in there for long cuz if I do take my phone in their I'll be in there for longer than I want to. So I come out from taking a dump and see a missed call and this text from my dad. Context...he's outside raking leaves. I'm like bruh...relax, first of all...try to make out what the text says...don't get it? It says why don't you pick up the phone, if your dad died on the floor and call you no use. Like bruh...extreme much> Like I get the people not picking up their phones part...I've been in situations where I really needed someone to talk to and I tried calling everybody and nobody picked up and I felt like no one was there for me...again, extreme...but different context. So back to present day when my dad is ranting about people not picking up the phone...I'm like dad...wait, you do the same thing. I call you all the time and you hardly pick up the phone on the first call. It isn't until I call multiple times or I give up and he calls me back 5 minutes later. This continues to an argument when he goes NO I DON'T DO THAT....and I'm like bruh...and we go back and forth some more...I'm like okay...stay here...let me open my phone, go to my calls and SHOW YOU specific moments...and of course, the proof is there and he's like no that's not me...like bruh it's right in front of your face. It's just hella annoying when he does these things...when he complains about something and goes and does it you know. Like when he compares how I talk to him vs how I talk to my friends when he knows the difference is exactly the same with him and I and him and his friends...but yeah...just a quick little story/rant on my end...see you in 2 days.

Giving And Taking

Happy December folks...I meant to post yesterday bur I lost track of time. I know I usually give y'all the gift of posts every single day in the month of November, but the more I've been thinking about it, the more I realized that when I did do that, the quality of the posts dropped significantly. I mean like, I'd be stressing and frantically trying to get a post out...like half getting dressed ready to go out, trying to hurry up and type up a reasonably long enough post or in a moving car, struggling with what to write about. So this year, I\m gonna do something different and give y'all posts EVERY OTHER DAY, that way I get some time to think about the next day's post and y'all get some time to digest the current post that's up, it's a win win...kinda lol.

So moving on to today's post...this is again something I had saved up a while back...but I guess recent events have motivated me to come back and finish this idea I had. Especially since we're heading closer and closer to Christmas, the season of giving, what better topic to start of December with. I feel like giving and taking go hand in hand. You give a little, you get (or in this case take) a little. Every friendship, team, group project or social circle deals with the topic...or sometimes problem or giving and taking. In a friendship, sometimes it's so one sided that one person is always giving and the other person is always taking. In a group project, same thing...one person contributes while another person doesn't do anything but takes the credit and the marks. When that happens...when something is constantly being taken and nothing is being given back...what do you think is gonna happen? It's eventually gonna run out...right? Imagine a car...if you're constantly driving it and using the gas up without putting more gas in...eventually, the car's gonna die, it's gonna be empty. In a friendship...if one person is constantly taking from the other friend...whether favours, money, support, encouragement and never giving any back...what do you think is gonna happen, the person being taken from will eventually run dry...no matter how abundant they start with. This topic just really made me think about a lot of things in my life...friendships, groups, teams, whatever it might be...sometimes people keep taking and taking and taking...what else do you expect to happen when you keep taking without giving anything back? Every time you take...I'm not saying you're obligated to...but in a way, you should be giving a little back...whether for the next person to enjoy or simply so it doesn't run out...you know? Probably a bad example...but it's like using the toilet paper all the way to the end and not refilling it. The next person that comes in is gonna sit down, relax, finish up and realize bruh...there's no toilet paper, someone used it all without putting a new roll back on. Does that make sense? Is that weird? LOL...anyways...see you in 2 days...peace.