Random Thoughts

Sorry, I've been so loaft...it's been really busy lately with school. But yeah...so you guys know, I write, I rap...sometimes, but I don't like to be called a rapper, I dunno why, or when people ask me if I'm a rapper, I'm like eh...LOOL. So a few years ago, I believe like when I was in high school...like grade 10-11 maybe...this church has this concert kinda thing in the summer once a year called Wildfire...it's pretty big I would say, one night where a bunch of youth...like a lottttt come together and sing and praise God. So anyways, that year, one of my friends was helping to coordinate it and plan it out...so yeah, like a few weeks before, I get a call from her, saying she had pitched the idea to them of me rapping at Wildfire and they said yes, so she was wondering if I'd be down...first of all, I've never done any performance before ever, only in the booth, so this was a major shock and an honour for me as well that they even considered me. But, I was so young, immature, nervous, shy...there was barely any time to prepare, and I wasn't physically or mentally ready, so I had to decline.  Anyways, fast forward to the present, during the meeting today...the idea was pitched of me perhaps rapping during the Christmas program on Dec 24. It was so weird...I feel like everything is coming together...and this time, it's something I'm strongly considering. I have a full 2 months to prepare...and also, y'all know how I had a bunch of written's ready to record in the summer but loafted...turns out, one of them, which I finished only a verse for...is perfect for the program. I dunno...I feel like everything that was stopping me last time is now falling into place this time...timing is right, I've a quarter to halfway done and can start practicing, I'm older, more mature, have some experience being on a stage and more confident in myself. I dunno...the only question I have for myself now is if I really want to do it? There are so many benefits too, since it's Christmas time, there'll be lots of people and it'll be a great opportunity to spread the gospel through rap...I dunno man, pray for me, this is really heavy on my heart at the moment, I'm not sure lol...half of me is super excited and wants to do it, another half is unsure, nervous and scared you know.