Old Friends Were Once New Friends...

Anyone who knows me knows I love telling this story and anyone who knows me well enough knows automatically who I'm talking about. This is a story about how me and my friend first met at church lol. I was always the type to go to church on Sundays, but I never really went to fellowship on Fridays and that's more of where the bonding and stuff happens. I would go on Sundays, do my thing, keep to myself and go home...didn't really make that many friends. So my parents really wanted me to go to fellowship, so they were talking to the pastor and counselor at that time and he brought up that fellowship is on Fridays at 7:30 and there are a bunch of kids my age. So my parents pretty much forced me to go and wanted me to make some new friends at church. I was like in elementary school back then I swear and fellowship was from like grade 6 or 7 to like university mans, so it was a pretty huge gap. Anyways, I was pretty antisocial back then...but then again don't we all have that point in our lives where we kept to ourselves, were shy or had trouble making friends. Anyways, so I remember distinctly being dropped off early to fellowship and I was like damn...gonna be one of the only people there...and I was lol...the chairs were set up in 2 sides...left side there were rows and columns and vice versa on the right side with a path in the middle. I remember picking the right side and one of the middle rows, but I sat all the way on the inside close to the window lol...I remember wearing this black hoodie and I had my hood all the way up lol. In my head...I was like man...I don't want to talk to nobody and I don't want nobody talking to me LOL. Low and behold...this random dude comes and sits beside me and doesn't say anything...yet. In my head I'm like damn...go away dawg, you got all these seats to choose from and you pick this one...LOL. So like a minute goes by, here I am chilling with my hood on and he finally looks and me and introduces himself and we end up talking and stuff and we was a really nice guy LOL Then I remember the upcoming Sunday during service, I was wearing this Tracy McGrady shirt...and he was behind me and he's like oh sick you watch basketball, I'm like yeah man...and he introduced me to his brother and the other guys he chilled with...and that's how I became friends with him and his boys. Sadly like half of them don't go to church anymore, but I still keep in contact with them and meet up with them here and there to see how they're doing. And of course me and this friend...this guy who stepped out of his comfort zone to introduce himself to me...we've been through a lot...but we're still really great friends and brothers in Christ. I've seen him grow SO much within these past like 8-10 years...yeah it's been that long, damn. It's amazing to see what Christ is doing in his heart, I'm glad to see Him grow and have a desire to serve God. Thanks for always being there bro, thanks for being a good friend and role model for me at church and in my walk with God, it means the world to me.

D-Pryde - Lifted

Where Have I Been...

Let me explain lol I know it's been over a week since I've posted...I'm sorry. This week has been really busy...lots of softball stuff going on for one...has practices on Tuesday and Thursdays as usual...had one game on Saturday and 2 games on Sunday...it was a real good weekend and a good learning experience for our team and a good time of bonding and fellowship...we stand at 4-3 with 3 games left in the season, but I've learned so much and am still learning so much...as a coach, my team has made me so proud this season. What else...I've been chilling a lot with this one friend this week...and as of late...we've been hitting the gym together every morning and after he just comes over and we chill, game and stuff then head to practice or something. What else...Monday, we went to workout then my other friend came over and we played monopoly for a long while before going to ball, Friday went downtown to Snakes and Lattes with my 3 friends...it was so fun lol...went to fellowship and we played a christian boardgame there...it was fun as well. Can't remember what else I've done...but like I've said my days are pretty empty, just hitting the gym...my nights are really busy though lol...Monday - ball, Tuesday - softball, Wednesday - crossfit, Thursday - softball, Friday - fellowship lol. What else...my brother is trying to get me a job at Canadian Tire where he works lol.

On a side note...this week, it's been brought to my attention...a bunch of people have messaged me and were like yo I was on your blog just reading your posts, why haven't you blogged lol. It's always funny to me cuz I haven't posted it on facebook or twitter or anything lately...so I wonder if people are just chilling and it's like hmm...let's go check out Rodmond's blog lol...

This Summer...

Something just feels different this summer...I don't know and haven't figured out what it is yet. Is it because I'm 21 now...is because I'm going into my 4th year...I actually don't know. Something just feels different...people are more busy with school or work...people just seem more to themselves and stuff...it just doesn't seem the same...less...fun? Usually each summer is filled with chill things and stuff and yeah...this summer...feels more down and gloomy...it's already mid July...almost August, and when August hits, I know summer is gonna BLOW by...and just like that I'll be back in school, I don't know what\s up.

This Blog...

This blog has gone through way too much...taken up too much of my time...and become too big apart of my life for me to censor myself because people don\t agree with what I say or may be hurt because of it. Not saying I'm gonna post rude things specifically to hurt people...what people don't understand when they go on m y blog or perhaps read a post about them...is that I treat this blog like a personal diary...and if you have or have ever had a diary, you'll know it's where you\re completely and brutally honest...where you literally spill your guts out. So when I write about things or people...I\m not directing it to you to hurt you...I'm doing it to vent...to help myself relax...cuz this is like a diary to me. Trust...I've gotten into many arguments and ish with friends because they get cheesed when they read posts about them and say that I'm hiding things from them or I'm too scared to tell them...when in actuality...when I write these posts or any posts...I don't have any intentions or expectations of anyone reading them...to me...I'm just writing on a blog...I don\t have any expectations that the person I\m writing about is actually going to read the post. LOL but yeah...trust I\ve gotten into many arguments and fights with friends over my posts and how I should censor myself...or people will get mad at me cuz they read a post on my blog...like relax...this is my diary...I'm not asking you to read the posts on this blog...this is my life...I ain't gonna change or censor it for nobody...this is how are feel, these are my thoughts.

Loaft Day

No one's home, nothing planned...sometimes you just need days like this. I love it...I feel like I have so many things t do today though, but I\m loafting and just watching videos and movies right now. Have to do my laundry, plan Sunday school, cut my hair and reschedule games for softball...but I'm so comfy...sometimes, I just love being at home by myself...it's nice lol. Some things going through my head right now...I'm not sure if it's the same for girls...but for guys...well for me at least...when it comes to my closest friends who are girls...I get jealous pretty easily with their other guy friends...or not even that, but I just naturally have a certain dislike for them lol...is that weird...is that normal? That doesn't mean I like them...I dunno...you just like that feeling of being special you know. I've definitely experienced that before...where my closest girl friend...who had a lot of friends...and a lot of guy friends...and it was annoying and now we're not as close as we used to be...and it doesn't really seem to affect her...oh well, people grow apart, that\s life. What else...it's mid July...damn...I feel like once August comes, summer's gonna go by so quick and before I know it, I'm gonna be back in school going into my fourth year, damn. What else...being a coach is stressful work...aside from keeping my emotions in check...having to reschedule games and email so many people to confirm things is annoying. And also for teaching...I think this will be my last term teaching the grades 5-6...they\re just a real handful...I mean I started with them...then I moved to the grade 7-9's...and come September I'll be teaching the grades 10-12...so that'll be new...it'll be a challenge, but it'll also be fun...I don\t think I can go back to teaching grades 5-6 after that...it\s too much lol and it really takes it's toll on your body and your mind.

Macklemore - Neon Cathedral feat. Ryan Lewis, Allen Stone

I can't stop listening to Macklemore's album The Heist...it's so good lol...and he's another rapper who raps about substance...not just nonsense.

Prayer Journal: Day 8

Dad: So a month or so ago, my dad was playing basketball with his church friends and he fell on his shoulder and apparently tore a tendon. It's not that bad, but he's doing surgery like mid August, not serious surgery. The doctor said that if he doesn't do it, he won't be able to lift heavy things with his shoulder anymore, if he does do it, he will. So yeah, just pray that the surgery will be fine, afterwards he won't be able to drive or work for like 2-3 months, so I\ll probs have to step up and help out around the house and ish more. Also this past Wednesday was his birthday and he turned 62...and with that there's always concerns for me about his health...so I pray that God will continue to strengthen him physically and help me humble myself as a son and really appreciate the things my dad does for me.

Asyn: Just in case you read this...lemme say that all these words are from the heart and the top of my head...I wasn't keeping anything from you today. I just honestly didn't know what to say without you saying that you already know all of this stuff. The other part of me was just really trying to take everything you said in, there was a lot, trust. My prayer for you is that God really breaks you down...mind, body and spirit and that you really learn what it means to be a Godly woman. To love God, to desire to know God more, and to desire to be closer and embrace His Word and His people. I pray that God really softens your heart...and really lifts up all the burdens and things on your plate and on your shoulder...I pray he relieves you of all the stubbornness inside of you that is pushing away people that are trying to help you. But most importantly...if anything...I genuinely pray that God surrounds you with His love...regardless of how, I pray that you really feel God's love...through prayer, through fellowship, whatever. That you have a Father, a Friend, a Savior, a King...everything you feel you've ever needed in your life or everything you feel you've missed out on...know that you have that in Jesus. Someone who will never let you down...listen to all your secrets, never judge you, love you whole heartedly and unconditionally...that is Jesus...and I pray that you embrace that. I pray that whatever God has planned for you is something so beautiful that you simply can't comprehend it right now. I pray that one day..you will find a guy who will lead you in Christ...who will carry your burdens with him, that will put you first and love you more than he loves himself...but will never put you above God. I pray God continues to watch over you...and that you never feel alone or weak, and when you do...know that you have a Father who loves you, a family who cares about you and friends who would do anything to see you happy. Keep your head up.

Lastly: I pray for those who are straying away from their faith...those who have left church, are contemplating it, or are simply feeling lukewarm. I pray that you somehow find and renew that fire for God. It's so saddening and disappointing to see people leave the church and turn their backs on God. If you're out there and you're feeling this way, I pray that you surround yourself with Godly men and women who you can trust and depend on...who will guide you back to Christ and love you like a brother or sister. Everything that you go through, you go through for a reason, I pray you not blame God, but trust God that His plan and His timing are perfect, that He is always in control.

Macklemore - Ten Thousand Hours feat. Ryan Lewis

Big Brother To My Big Brother

As of late...like this past year...as I grow up...and become older...it's slowly feeling and becoming like I'm the big brother to my big brother, he\s 8 years older than me. But as of late, I've been giving him advice, having heart to hearts, being the more responsible and reliable brother. I mean...this is the dude I used to look up to...the dude who used to be stronger than me...cooler than me, someone I would take after. But now, things have changed...I used to sneak his clothes into my bag and wear them to school...I would change during the walk to school. And now...I found out that he's been wearing my clothes when I went to the church retreat...LOOOOL that's so jokes. But yeah...like lately...it just feels like I'm the big brother...like I've been taking care of him more than he has of me. Like I'm moreso looking out for him...it honestly feels like he's in high school...or at least going through the phases and the things that a high school kid goes through. Like I'm moving forward...and he's moving backward. But...my biggest hope...is that we continue to become closer...especially in the future, I want us to still be talking...not be like those siblings who lose touch and like distant themselves. I want our kids to be close...I wanna still be able to chill and stuff with him in the future. But man...he's gotta smarten up right now...

Haley Reinhart - Undone

Bad Day Gone Worse...

So today was a real long day...started off by skipping the gym cuz my friend flopped, but I understood, so it was okay. Spent the whole day just loafting at home...got a call from Staples cuz my laptop screen was messed, so I brought it back there cuz my warranty covered it, they said they'd send it to the factory and fix it. Today they called saying that not only the screen, but the hard drive was messed too...which didn't make sense to me, but because my warranty covered it, he offered me a solution of giving me a Staples giftcard for exactly how much I bought it for after tax. That's good, but it's just a real hassle...having to most likely get the exact same laptop...unless I wanna pay more...and even then, for some reason I have a feeling I'll have to pay extra for some fees or something stupid. But yeah, went to North York for summerlicious dinner with the fam to celebrate my dad's bday. The food was alright, but the traffic on the way home was BRUTAL...ended up not being able to make it to crossfit and I was so pissed at the traffic...went to the asian grocery store and got some snacks, came home and took a hot shower to relax...just chilling now.

Time To Myself...

Hey guys, I know I've been not just loaft...but literally MIA...lol, I'm sorry. But these past 3 days have been so tiring and I haven't had any time to myself, literally. Saturday...I woke up at like 12 and my friend messaged me to see if I wanted to go watch his girl's softball game and chill at the same time...so we did that, got some food and stuff...it was nice cuz she's a cool girl at the same time. That same day I know my other friends from church wanted t chill and have like a guys night out...so my friend dropped me off at Markville where my other friends picked me up. We went to Scarborough Bluffs, the beach and just walked around for a good half an hour...then we walked up some cliff and saw a really nice view. We saw some couple and their friends taking wedding pictures...it was so cute cuz they were all folding paper airplanes and were gonna throw them all off the cliff. After that, headed back to my friend's place and we got food from this Sri Lankan night market across from his house. Afterwards, we went back to his place and just chilled and played board games till like 11 or so...went home and slept. Sunday...woke up early to go to church cuz I was leading worship...I was so tired, could not stop yawning. After that, had to teach Sunday school and we finished off the movie Courageous. After that, had lunch with the church homies befoer they dropped me home and I had a double header for softball. It was such a great 2 games...the sun was blazing hot, but it was so encouraging to just see everyone playing together and fellowshipping and having fun and cheering. Our first game was at 4...and we were playing so well...we won by a good amount and it was just nice to see so much improvement and stuff within the team. Our second game was right after at 6...it was honestly such a close game...we went into the last inning tied and we ended up winning by 3...oh man....so now we're 3-1...with 6 games left in the season...as a coach, I'm damn proud. After that, we went out for dinner as a team to just bond, have fun and of course celebrate. Monday...today...woke up early and hit the gym with my friend, I'm so much more motivated when I go with this friend cuz he pushes me and we lift the same pretty much. After that, got food with him and my other friend who is supposed to be fasting, but broke it cuz he was apparently dying of hunger lol. After, he dropped me and my friend off and his house and we just played 2k till like 9 pm lol. It was jokes cuz his mom made us these japanese instant noodles from Japan with egg and broccoli...I was eating it and it was so bomb and all and my friend goes EW...there's a bug in mine...so he takes it out and is about to start eating again and goes EW...another one...starts looking around the bowl and digging into the noodles and goes EWWWW THEY'RE EVERYWHERE LOOOOOL....I started dying...I looked at mine and there were bugs too...like super super super tiny bugs...not like big ones...and there weren't that many...so I was like whatever...I had like 2 spoonfuls of noodles...my friend was like on the verge of gagging lol...his mom said it was probably from the broccoli or something. But yeah...there was no ball today,, so sad...but the guy went camping with his son...so literally just spent the entire day gaming with my friend lol...

J. Cole - Chaining Day

Out & About...

Literally been out these past two days. Sunday...had church in the morning, ate lunch with them as well. It was raining so our softball game at 6 had been changed to a diff diamond cuz the diamond we were supposed to play at was soaked lol. So I was stressed cuz it was so last minute and I had to call everybody on the team personally to tell them about the change. Went home around 3 ish...chilled with my friend at my house...went to softball at around 5 ish and our game was at 6. We played through the rain lol...like it was crazy rain, no thunder though. We ended up winning, which was beautiful...my team played amazing and I was so proud of them. After the game, we all went out for dinner and had wings, it was a nice time to bond, just, relax, celebrate and fellowship with one another. Today was just as eventful, woke up early to go to the gym,worked out a bit then played ball a bit. Afterwards, me and 3 other friends went to Yorkdale and shopped around, I got a few t shirts. Apparently, it started raining really bad and half the mall blacked out, then the whole mall blacked out lol...everyone was rushing to close their stores so nothing got stolen. We went to get the car and traffic was so crazy...highways were flooded, all the traffic lights weren't working, power was out in numerous cities, damn...ended up going to ball cuz my church had power...it was amazing runs. But man...I get really competitive when I play basketball lol...not even sports in general...but basketball especially, I get so competitive lol...damn, sorry guys.

Update Soon...

Update coming very shortly...I'll talk about retreat as well as some other things...sorry guys, thanks for bearing with me lol...

Player vs Coach 2

I owe my teammates and my fellows leadership members a huge apology and a huge thank you. Today was our second game of the second...and I lost my cool, I didn't get angry and like flip tables, but today the player side in my took over. We started off great, got a big lead and I was all supportive and encouraging...then one inning came where we let them score a bunch of runs and I dropped so many balls and I was visibly frustrated, my fellow leaders, my teammates and the fans all saw this. I thank you to my fellow leaders to were there to keep my spirits up and remind me why we play softball...not to win, but for God. Thank you to teammates for being so accepting of me...as a coach especially, I know I'm not perfect, so it means a lot for you guys to still stand alongside me. I still have a lot of learning and growing to do...thank you for constantly reminding me the purpose of this team, this season, this league.

Avant - Lie About Us feat. Nicole Scherzinger

Old Flames, Old Feelings...

Hey, so yesterday was my ex's birthday...so I asked her out to dinner and we went out today after my softball practice. It was really nice...we had dinner and we just talked. She's someone I see quite frequently I would say, but it was nice to actually sit down and have a conversation. It was nice catching up...she told me about school and just what she's been going through lately...and vice versa. For the longest time, I feel like I've suppressed these feelings for her...cuz I'm not really sure if I like her or I don't. Today helped me confirm...or at least lean to the side that I don't like her. That it's just a feeling that comes and goes whenever we chill or I see her...based on old feelings and memories. But it was really nice catching up...and just being there for her. I really do care about her and wish the best for her. Who knows...maybe she really is the one...but for now...she isn't, but things can definitely change. She's definitely a really good friend of mine...and that's how I want to keep it for now. I'm glad we got to talk and we're still able to share with each other what's going on in our lives, our problems and what we're struggling with, it was really nice. I'm so encouraged to see the woman you've grown and are continuing to grow into, it really makes me happy. You'll always have a special place in my heart and I'll always care about you and lookout for you shorty.

Summer To-Do List

I was writing the previous post and I decided to do one of these things...just a bunch of things I hope to do this summer...

- cottage
- road trip to U.S.
- wonderland
- beach
- sleepovers
- board game nights
- OVO concert
- food adventures (kbbq, sushi, dim sum, wings, etc)
- catch up and chill with friends I haven't seen in a while
- cruise/Cuba resort possibly

That's all I can think of for now lol...

Getaway

Sometimes I wish I could just getaway...from the stresses of life...school...the future...girls...everything. Just me and the homies...playing ball, video games, board games, working out...chilling, laughing. I wanna do so many things this summer...but mainly getaway...cottages, road trips, sleepovers...things like that. I honestly can't wait till like 10 years from now, when we're all working, me and my friends going out for a drink or food...chilling, talking about our kids and wives or something lol. But yeah...despite wanting to getaway...I know that life...trials...problems...are all apart of life...otherwise it wouldn't be a life worth living. God throws troubles at us to prune and mature us. Otherwise we would never grow. But somethings, life feels really overwhelming you know...but I'm thankful to have friends, family and brothers and sisters in Christ to be there for me.

Thoughts Of You...

I keep replaying this lyric in my head..."everything I write is either for her or about her, so I'm with her even when I'm here without her"...everything I write is either for her or about her. I dunno man...I've been having a lot of thoughts lately...about you. Talking with my friend about it...having him reassure me and telling me all these things really lifted my spirits. But when I see you, when I see these things...it like goes straight through to my heart...when I see you smile, when we chill, when we talk and laugh together...I hate it, I hate that it gets to me so bad. I have so many things that I want to say to you, but I probably never will. I hate how I feel about you...I tell people it comes and goes...and I myself don't even know anymore lol...I think it's always there...it always has been there...I just kinda minimize it or distract it with other things. I hate that we're such good friends too, and because of that, feelings just naturally develop...and it's hard to just like ignore them you know. But I have to remind myself of what you said...and what my friend said. It's not what you or I need right now...and when the timing is right, we'll know. There's no need to rush it, let it just happen naturally.

Much Deserved Update Soon...

Hey guys, sorry...been out and about today and just really tired from retreat, slept in today and skipped the gym. I promise I'll update you guys asap lol...I'm sorry I keep loafting, you'd think since it's summer I'd have more time to blog lol but I've been blogging less than when I was in school. But I really am going to change that...sorry guys, I know I've been mad slacks and lackluster about the blog lately...sorry.

Heartache

I'm taking a detour from updating you guys about the past few days to share what's on my heart. I hate that you bring me so much pain and heartache...but at the same time you bring me so much joy and happiness. I know I shouldn't be checking up on you like that, it actually is no good to and for me at all, but I can't help myself. As much as I tell myself to distant myself from you and only be there when you need me or when you approach me...it's so hard. Especially seeing those things...it actually breaks my heart...I don't even know why, it has nothing to do with me...I guess I just really get jealous...especially when it comes to you to. I know you're going away soon, so I know whatever happens till then, will happen for a reason.

Miss Me?

What's up...came back at like 8 pm...got lots of things to talk about and tell you...really tired, will update you tomorrow, thanks.