Heartache

I'm taking a detour from updating you guys about the past few days to share what's on my heart. I hate that you bring me so much pain and heartache...but at the same time you bring me so much joy and happiness. I know I shouldn't be checking up on you like that, it actually is no good to and for me at all, but I can't help myself. As much as I tell myself to distant myself from you and only be there when you need me or when you approach me...it's so hard. Especially seeing those things...it actually breaks my heart...I don't even know why, it has nothing to do with me...I guess I just really get jealous...especially when it comes to you to. I know you're going away soon, so I know whatever happens till then, will happen for a reason.