So...I kinda gave up on the whole 'posting every day' only because it was legit hard and stressful trying to think of a post everyday and I honestly didn't wanna just put on something uninteresting or boring just for the sake of putting it out and I def didn't wanna recycle posts either. Like by stressful I mean I'd literally sit in front of a blank word document trying to think of something to write about...so I decided not to do that and instead put out quality content. As well, it's just been a busy week with work and Christmas so there were a lot of events and things going on so I really didn't have much time. But Merry Christmas, hope you're doing well, hope this reaches you well...let's move on.
So this was a couple years ago and it was probably one of the longest and most fun 'first dates' I've ever been on and it's funny cuz everything was super unplanned, last minute and spontaneous which kinda made it a good time lol. So I made plans to go out with this girl for dessert one night, I had an event till like 9:30 so I was like how about I pick you up at 10 and we can grab dessert. So that was the original plan, she texted me at like 9 saying her family had friends over and she couldn't leave until they left so I was like oh okay, lemme know when they're close to leaving or we can always reschedule. So I went out after my event with my friends to this dessert spot and it was like 10 pm so I was like oh she hasn't messaged me yet so it's probably a flop I'm guessing. She messages me at 10:30 and says oh they're leaving soon, I can be ready for 11 are you still down? So I picked her up at like 11 and we grabbed bubble tea and sat at a table. I don't know how or why but we started playing coin hockey, which is where you have 3 quarters on the table and you try to flick one quarter through the other 2 quarters consecutively until you can shoot it into the 'net\ the other person creates with their index and pinky fingers on the table, does that make sense? Google it if it doesn't lol...anyways, I remember she like heavily insisted to pay for my drink for being late and also since I picked her up so I was like alright cool. I remember the dude beside us was like trying to talk to her while I was like sitting across from her LOL...she ended up saying oh it's pretty loud in here do you wanna get out of here, so we did. I started driving and she's like oh where're we going...I was like oh, it's like midnight, I thought I was driving you home LOL...she's like nah, I'm down to chill longer, so I was like alright true, we didn't really know where we wanted to go I kinda drove around aimlessly while we talked and jammed to music. Suddenly she was like oh are you into scary movies or horror stuff, to which I said not really. She was like oh there's this haunted bridge where this girl supposedly died and she was like yeah legend says you can hear her crying or something when you are standing on the bridge LOOOL. So, against my better judgement...we went to this 'haunted bridge' and bro it was pitch black...no lights of any kinda and it was such a narrow road only one car could fit on it. But she said that apparently during the day, cars go onto this bridge all the tie because it's a shortcut and if an oncoming car comes, one of them will have to pull to the side so the other can cross. So we get to this bridge...I kid you not, pitch black, my high beams are on and I'm pretty terrified I won't lie. She said “let's get out and take a walk”...BRUH WHAT...I was like nahhhhh, I'm not doing that nor am I letting you do that cuz I don't want either of us to die LOL. So we sat in the car on that bridge for a good 30 minutes debating whether we wanted to get out of the car or not LOL...in the end I was like nah, I really don't think this is a good idea lol so we flopped on that. By then it was like 3 am...she looked at me and she was like are you tried, do you wanna go home? I was like oh I'm good for whatever, she was like do you wanna grab food, so we went to this breakfast spot that is like open 24/7 apparently and surprisingly it was hella packed at like 3 am lol. We got food, chilled and continued with the night...evening...morning? We ended up leaving at like 5 am and I drove her home lol. I remember she didn't have keys so her mom had to open the door for her, she told me the next day her mom was so tired she just shook her head and let her in, then the next morning was like where'd you go and why'd you come home so late lol. I got home like 5:30 and pretty sure I didn't sleep that night after showering it was probably like 6 am...my mom was what'd you do last night, I was just like oh, chilling lol...so yeah that's the longest but one of the most fun and tiring first dates I've ever been on lol.a
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Indulgence
Chasing after happiness I wonder what I’ll find
Temporary joy, but I’m ignoring all the signs
Running fast and with a purpose, not looking left and right
Tunnel vision clouding both my judgement and my sight
Following my heart, sometimes I don’t know what that means
Wandering aimlessly until my logic intervenes
Temptation grows as forbidden fruit gets more appealing
Going with the flow and giving in to my gut feeling
Indulging in a life I’ve always seen but never known
Living a life my old self would certainly not condone
Blurred lines and mixed emotions, confusing wrong and right
The path is getting darker, I can’t really see the light
When it gets too much and I’m in too deep
Don’t even ask, just pull me back
Set me straight and point the way
So I can get back on the right track
Temporary joy, but I’m ignoring all the signs
Running fast and with a purpose, not looking left and right
Tunnel vision clouding both my judgement and my sight
Following my heart, sometimes I don’t know what that means
Wandering aimlessly until my logic intervenes
Temptation grows as forbidden fruit gets more appealing
Going with the flow and giving in to my gut feeling
Indulging in a life I’ve always seen but never known
Living a life my old self would certainly not condone
Blurred lines and mixed emotions, confusing wrong and right
The path is getting darker, I can’t really see the light
When it gets too much and I’m in too deep
Don’t even ask, just pull me back
Set me straight and point the way
So I can get back on the right track
Monday, December 16, 2019
10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
First off, sorry for not being able to put out a post these past 2 days, it's been real busy with a lot of moving parts as of late so I haven't had much time to really sit down and write. But anyways, let me take y'all through a behind the scenes of the night before the blog's 10th anniversary. So honestly, leading up to and on the day of it was such a rollercoaster of emotions...I started thinking of wanting to have some sort of party for the blog's 10th anniversary like months ago. I went back and forth between having a huge ass party with just anybody and everybody to celebrate this 'momentous' occasion, but it was stressful looking at different venues, air bnb's and all that jazz. I was totally down to splurge a little bit and book a place and have just a huge party, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to think to myself well why, is this just an excuse to have a party lol which it definitely is as well don't get me wrong. As more time passed, I began to settle on the idea of having a smaller party with just close friends and people I enjoy being around, that way I could have it my place and use the money I would've spent on a venue to buy food and drinks for everyone. Let me tell you tho, planning and hosting a party sucks lol and it's really stressful. So many thoughts go through your mind like oh who should I invite, I don't want people to get offended, how many people, how much food and drinks do I need. The worst is like when people aren't communicative and don't let you know if they're coming or not or say maybe lol. The day of the party, everything leading up to it gave me so much stress and anxiety lol...I dropped my phone in the toilet for one, the weather was really crappy which made me think people would flop and I was right...but at the same time other people flopped last minute cuz of other reasons which is totally understandable but just kinda adds to the stress factor of hosting a party and wanting it to turn out well and shit. I'll touch on this briefly cuz it is what is...the people that didn't respond or didn't say anything to me...I mean you're not obligated to, but it would've been nice to receive the courtesy of like oh I can't come or oh I'm busy...now obvs the flip side is I could've reached out to each people and be like hey are you coming, but I feel like I made the first move by sending the invite, it's like sending a double text like oh hey, you there? But yeah that's all I'll say about that. Honestly, when it came down to it, it was such a great night...old friends, new friends...having fun and just chilling. It was super dope and I was really happy. I think I get and got too caught up in just like the logistics and wanting everything to be perfect and wanting everyone to have fun that I should've just bee like yo, relax and enjoy yourself...and I did haha.
On a different note...and to quote my coworker when I told him the blog was turning 10, “you're fuckin' old bro” LOOOL. I started this blog when I was in high school...writing corny poems about girls, making cringey rap videos, writing and recording semi dope rhymes...sharing my life, my journey, my innermost thoughts, feelings and emotions on everything from life, family, friends, relationships, struggles, failures, triumphs, victories...you've seen it all on this blog and it's a timeline of my growth and my journey. I'm sure one day when I hang it all up and am able to look back at all of this...it'll be so crazy to see the progression and the chnnge. But I mean for now, I'm still having fun, I'm still enjoying it at times and it still gives me some sense of purpose and encouragement, so I'll still be here and I hope you'll continue to ride with me till the wheels fall off...cheers to another year, PEACE!
On a different note...and to quote my coworker when I told him the blog was turning 10, “you're fuckin' old bro” LOOOL. I started this blog when I was in high school...writing corny poems about girls, making cringey rap videos, writing and recording semi dope rhymes...sharing my life, my journey, my innermost thoughts, feelings and emotions on everything from life, family, friends, relationships, struggles, failures, triumphs, victories...you've seen it all on this blog and it's a timeline of my growth and my journey. I'm sure one day when I hang it all up and am able to look back at all of this...it'll be so crazy to see the progression and the chnnge. But I mean for now, I'm still having fun, I'm still enjoying it at times and it still gives me some sense of purpose and encouragement, so I'll still be here and I hope you'll continue to ride with me till the wheels fall off...cheers to another year, PEACE!
Friday, December 13, 2019
To Whom It May Concern
Day 13/31
Found this in my notes from ages ago and tbh I don’t even really remember who this was about tbh, I mean I vaguely remember but it’s fun to guess and try to think about who it could be lol. I have a bunch of random notes like these on my phone lol, a lot of random stuff about girls and random poems and rhymes and raps that I never really finished lol, here you go,
Thursday, December 12, 2019
The Power Of Perspective
Day 12/31
So I was at the gym this morning after my exam and I finished my workout and I kinda had a moment thinking to myself, man...isn't it crazy how like your own perspective and how you see things can drastically change and affect your mood or even your self esteem. For example, at the gym...I can look at a smaller dude or someone lifting lighter weights than me and think to myself...well damn, I'm huge, I'm the got damn world's strongest man LOL. But then I can also look at a bigger dude or someone lifting much heavier weights than me and think to myself well damn, I got sticks for arms and legs lol. And this kinda way of thinking can be applied in any kinda context really. You get an 80 on your test...you look at the dude beside you and he got a 60, you're like damn...I'm Albert frickin Einstein...or you look to the person on your other side and they got a 96 and you're like damn...I'm dumb as rocks lol. It's crazy how our perspective can impact our moods, attitudes and self esteem so greatly. But more than that, I think it's also what you do and how you respond to that perspective. For example, seeing a dude bigger than me at the gym can either make me think to myself that I'm hella small and weak...or give me motivation to work really hard or take steroids or something LOL jokes. But you get what I mean tho...you control that entire aspect. You choose how you want to read into a situation and you choose how you want to respond to it as well. I remember in high school, seeing people who were better at basketball than me or better shooters than me made me want to work that much harder to improve my game and be better. But on the flipside, something like softball for example I see how good people are and I'm not even that passionate about the sport where I'm like yeah, maybe this sport's just not for me. But again, you can apply this mindset to any kinda context, doesn't just have to be sports, it was just really interesting to me to think that our own perspective can shift our mood and attitude so drastically. Just some food for thought for today, till tomorrow...DEUCES!
So I was at the gym this morning after my exam and I finished my workout and I kinda had a moment thinking to myself, man...isn't it crazy how like your own perspective and how you see things can drastically change and affect your mood or even your self esteem. For example, at the gym...I can look at a smaller dude or someone lifting lighter weights than me and think to myself...well damn, I'm huge, I'm the got damn world's strongest man LOL. But then I can also look at a bigger dude or someone lifting much heavier weights than me and think to myself well damn, I got sticks for arms and legs lol. And this kinda way of thinking can be applied in any kinda context really. You get an 80 on your test...you look at the dude beside you and he got a 60, you're like damn...I'm Albert frickin Einstein...or you look to the person on your other side and they got a 96 and you're like damn...I'm dumb as rocks lol. It's crazy how our perspective can impact our moods, attitudes and self esteem so greatly. But more than that, I think it's also what you do and how you respond to that perspective. For example, seeing a dude bigger than me at the gym can either make me think to myself that I'm hella small and weak...or give me motivation to work really hard or take steroids or something LOL jokes. But you get what I mean tho...you control that entire aspect. You choose how you want to read into a situation and you choose how you want to respond to it as well. I remember in high school, seeing people who were better at basketball than me or better shooters than me made me want to work that much harder to improve my game and be better. But on the flipside, something like softball for example I see how good people are and I'm not even that passionate about the sport where I'm like yeah, maybe this sport's just not for me. But again, you can apply this mindset to any kinda context, doesn't just have to be sports, it was just really interesting to me to think that our own perspective can shift our mood and attitude so drastically. Just some food for thought for today, till tomorrow...DEUCES!
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
Best Foot Forward
Day 11/31
I really like watching certain people's vlogs because it's like a glimpse into their life, seeing their daily interactions and lowkey living vicariously through them lol, as well some of them just have real dope personalities and I feel this weird connection witht them. But at the same time, the one thing that I've learned is to not take it at face value...because it's exactly what I said it is, just a small glimpse into their daily life. And usually, it's the best, fun and most entertaining parts of their life. Kinda like instagram how a lot of us only show or post our best selves living our best lives, but we all know that there's so much more that's not being shown, but we all wanna put our best foot forward. I remember Casey Neistat would always say his vlogs were for entertainment purposes and for him to tell a story and he would try to keep his personal and family life out of it. But then you have people like Timothy DelaGhetto who just vlogs things from his family, his wife to his job and his friends...and I remember he would say like oh my friends or my wife would always get annoyed at it at first because it's like shoot the camera's coming on we gotta put on a front and smile and look all proper, but eventually they kinda got used to it. I guess similarly with this blog...as honest as I am on here, there are deeper layers that I definitely keep to myself or share with those closest to me. Another thing I've learned from watching vlogs is that you have the power to control how other see your life...now necessarily the perspecctive or opinion they're gonna have...but you control what they see y'feel. If this blog was only about the best times in my life or like random dates or adventures with friends I go on...it'd be such a different vibe you know. I remember watching certain vlogs and thinking to myself, damn this person's life is so dope...they always eat dope food, go on adventures, their life just looks so interesting and fun...but in reality that's probably just a small portion of their life that they are choosing to share with you when there is so much more that they aren't sharing. Again, similarly with this blog...A LOT of my life is on this blog, share with you for you to enjoy, laugh, criticize, critique, anything and everything...then there is a lot of my life and A LOT of my thoughts that I don't share...because it's not necessary and also I just don't want to as well. I remember a friend once told me like hey, you know you don't have to blog about everything right, there are some things you can keep for yourself and keep to yourself, and your closest loved ones...you'll enjoy and cherish it more for sure. That's something that definitely stuck with me...you don't have to blog about everything or you don't have to instagram or snapchat everything. I mean even tho I still do instagram a lot of my life...both for entertainment and reflection purposes...I really do make a conscious effort to live in the moment and just enjoy it and live it. With that being said, I'll see y'all tomorrow.
I really like watching certain people's vlogs because it's like a glimpse into their life, seeing their daily interactions and lowkey living vicariously through them lol, as well some of them just have real dope personalities and I feel this weird connection witht them. But at the same time, the one thing that I've learned is to not take it at face value...because it's exactly what I said it is, just a small glimpse into their daily life. And usually, it's the best, fun and most entertaining parts of their life. Kinda like instagram how a lot of us only show or post our best selves living our best lives, but we all know that there's so much more that's not being shown, but we all wanna put our best foot forward. I remember Casey Neistat would always say his vlogs were for entertainment purposes and for him to tell a story and he would try to keep his personal and family life out of it. But then you have people like Timothy DelaGhetto who just vlogs things from his family, his wife to his job and his friends...and I remember he would say like oh my friends or my wife would always get annoyed at it at first because it's like shoot the camera's coming on we gotta put on a front and smile and look all proper, but eventually they kinda got used to it. I guess similarly with this blog...as honest as I am on here, there are deeper layers that I definitely keep to myself or share with those closest to me. Another thing I've learned from watching vlogs is that you have the power to control how other see your life...now necessarily the perspecctive or opinion they're gonna have...but you control what they see y'feel. If this blog was only about the best times in my life or like random dates or adventures with friends I go on...it'd be such a different vibe you know. I remember watching certain vlogs and thinking to myself, damn this person's life is so dope...they always eat dope food, go on adventures, their life just looks so interesting and fun...but in reality that's probably just a small portion of their life that they are choosing to share with you when there is so much more that they aren't sharing. Again, similarly with this blog...A LOT of my life is on this blog, share with you for you to enjoy, laugh, criticize, critique, anything and everything...then there is a lot of my life and A LOT of my thoughts that I don't share...because it's not necessary and also I just don't want to as well. I remember a friend once told me like hey, you know you don't have to blog about everything right, there are some things you can keep for yourself and keep to yourself, and your closest loved ones...you'll enjoy and cherish it more for sure. That's something that definitely stuck with me...you don't have to blog about everything or you don't have to instagram or snapchat everything. I mean even tho I still do instagram a lot of my life...both for entertainment and reflection purposes...I really do make a conscious effort to live in the moment and just enjoy it and live it. With that being said, I'll see y'all tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
A Trip Down Memory Lane
Day 10/31
So I was talking to my dad today and I said something and he was like oh you never tell me anything, you always tell your mom lol. I didn't tell him this, but for one...I drive my mom to work a lot of the times or I'll drive myself to the bus stop for school while she's in the car then she'll drive home so there's a lot of time for just random conversation lol. Second, whenever I do tell stuff to my dad he somehow always, ALWAYS turns it into some sort of lecture lol and sometimes I'm just not bout that lol. Anyways, so we were talking and my dad always asks me random questions out of the blue sometimes...his favourite is to ask me how certain friends are doing...like I'm talking about friends he's maybe met once or twice and like hardly knows...the randomest of people lol. He'll be like oh hey, this person stopped by my store today, didn't you go to high school with him, how's he doing? I'm like dad, I went to high school with him, that' it lol. Anyways, so he was doing that today...just asking me oh, how's this person doing, how's that person doing...but these people were people a little closer to me you could say, friends...people I've chilled with and hung out with. So he would ask me oh how's this person, how's that person, are they still living here, are they still working here. And what was funny and kinda jokes when he kept asking me was my responses...because a lot of it was...I dunno, haven't seen them in a while, we don't talk anymore, a lot along those lines...and it really made me sit and think for a second about the chunk of people who I'd say I'm pretty friendly with...that I just don't talk to, don't see or haven't heard from in a while. So the conversation continued and I kinda flipped it onto my dad lol cuz I've definitely seen a lot of people come and go into my household and in my head I was like hmm what happened to this dude, he doesn't come over anymore or what happened to this dude I don't see him anymore. So I started name dropping like oh what happened to this person and this person and this person. And he would tell me like oh this person left the church so we don't talk anymore, this person moved to another country, this person moved to a different city and stuff. There are still friends that he keeps in contact with very frequently even tho they live really far away. It got me thinking about my own life, my own friends...what happens when we inevitably get married, move out, move away, have less time, priorities shift, all that jazz. You see each other less because of maybe family, distance, work, whatever it may be. It's crazy to think...will you still keep in contact? I remember my old teacher telling me how after a long day of work and having to make dinner and put the kids to bed, he just wants to spend some time with the wife and knockout lol...how there isn't anymore time for friends or just hanging out with the boys...maybe once a month or once in a while...and I won't lie that scared me a bit, but it made sense. Your wife, your kids, your family are gonna be your priority and who you want to spend your time with, your wife becomes like your best friend...someone you confide in. When you think about family, work, bills, self and all that jazz...it's like man, is there even any room or time for friends? Just an interesting thought I had after a good conversation with my dad, till tomorrow...peace.
So I was talking to my dad today and I said something and he was like oh you never tell me anything, you always tell your mom lol. I didn't tell him this, but for one...I drive my mom to work a lot of the times or I'll drive myself to the bus stop for school while she's in the car then she'll drive home so there's a lot of time for just random conversation lol. Second, whenever I do tell stuff to my dad he somehow always, ALWAYS turns it into some sort of lecture lol and sometimes I'm just not bout that lol. Anyways, so we were talking and my dad always asks me random questions out of the blue sometimes...his favourite is to ask me how certain friends are doing...like I'm talking about friends he's maybe met once or twice and like hardly knows...the randomest of people lol. He'll be like oh hey, this person stopped by my store today, didn't you go to high school with him, how's he doing? I'm like dad, I went to high school with him, that' it lol. Anyways, so he was doing that today...just asking me oh, how's this person doing, how's that person doing...but these people were people a little closer to me you could say, friends...people I've chilled with and hung out with. So he would ask me oh how's this person, how's that person, are they still living here, are they still working here. And what was funny and kinda jokes when he kept asking me was my responses...because a lot of it was...I dunno, haven't seen them in a while, we don't talk anymore, a lot along those lines...and it really made me sit and think for a second about the chunk of people who I'd say I'm pretty friendly with...that I just don't talk to, don't see or haven't heard from in a while. So the conversation continued and I kinda flipped it onto my dad lol cuz I've definitely seen a lot of people come and go into my household and in my head I was like hmm what happened to this dude, he doesn't come over anymore or what happened to this dude I don't see him anymore. So I started name dropping like oh what happened to this person and this person and this person. And he would tell me like oh this person left the church so we don't talk anymore, this person moved to another country, this person moved to a different city and stuff. There are still friends that he keeps in contact with very frequently even tho they live really far away. It got me thinking about my own life, my own friends...what happens when we inevitably get married, move out, move away, have less time, priorities shift, all that jazz. You see each other less because of maybe family, distance, work, whatever it may be. It's crazy to think...will you still keep in contact? I remember my old teacher telling me how after a long day of work and having to make dinner and put the kids to bed, he just wants to spend some time with the wife and knockout lol...how there isn't anymore time for friends or just hanging out with the boys...maybe once a month or once in a while...and I won't lie that scared me a bit, but it made sense. Your wife, your kids, your family are gonna be your priority and who you want to spend your time with, your wife becomes like your best friend...someone you confide in. When you think about family, work, bills, self and all that jazz...it's like man, is there even any room or time for friends? Just an interesting thought I had after a good conversation with my dad, till tomorrow...peace.
Monday, December 09, 2019
Detours
Day 9/31
So after yesterday's post...or lack of a post, would you even call that a post? I felt hella inspired and starting writing...like writing rhymes, I feel like I haven't been able to really express myself lately through the posts...so I started writing yesterday night and the words just kinda came to me, this was the result of that. Even this morning when I was laying in bed, I was writing...I had this spark of inspiration in my head and the words were literally just flowing out of me...so yeah, I hope you enjoy. This is about where I feel like I currently am in life...on a detour from the path that I've been on all my life...and it felt weird and unfamiliar at first...but the further you go the more it becomes normal...but deep down I feel like I know and understand that this is just a detour...that in time and eventually, I'll get back on track, enjoy.
Vision is blurry, heart is real heavy
You read the words I write
But that don't mean you understand me
Runnin' the race of life
But got distracted by the world
Fallin' off course, busy chasing after girls
Further down the rabbit hole
Exploring on my own
Feeling free but contradicting everything I've known
An unfamiliar path
Feeling uneasy and uncertain
Tryna find the Wizard so I can see behind the curtain
I know I've lost my way
I hope I never lose myself
See my reflection in the mirror turn into somebody else
So after yesterday's post...or lack of a post, would you even call that a post? I felt hella inspired and starting writing...like writing rhymes, I feel like I haven't been able to really express myself lately through the posts...so I started writing yesterday night and the words just kinda came to me, this was the result of that. Even this morning when I was laying in bed, I was writing...I had this spark of inspiration in my head and the words were literally just flowing out of me...so yeah, I hope you enjoy. This is about where I feel like I currently am in life...on a detour from the path that I've been on all my life...and it felt weird and unfamiliar at first...but the further you go the more it becomes normal...but deep down I feel like I know and understand that this is just a detour...that in time and eventually, I'll get back on track, enjoy.
Vision is blurry, heart is real heavy
You read the words I write
But that don't mean you understand me
Runnin' the race of life
But got distracted by the world
Fallin' off course, busy chasing after girls
Further down the rabbit hole
Exploring on my own
Feeling free but contradicting everything I've known
An unfamiliar path
Feeling uneasy and uncertain
Tryna find the Wizard so I can see behind the curtain
I know I've lost my way
I hope I never lose myself
See my reflection in the mirror turn into somebody else
Sunday, December 08, 2019
Cruise Control
Day 8/31
Do you ever feel like you're on cruise control or like autopilot? Just kinda going through the motions of life just for the sake of it. I'm not saying I'm like hella bored or that life isn't exciting...but sometimes it just feels like a routine and you're just kinda checking things off the list like oh school, work, gym, meals in between, rest and repeat. I saw this meme that was like oh, can't wait to go home and eat and sleep only to get up and have to work a full 8 hours again and the girl is like crying or something lol. That's definitely how I felt when I was working full time, just the same old thing for 8 straight hours and then you go home, rest and recover only to have to come back to work and do it over again lol. When I first went part time, bro it was like the happiest moment of life because I instantly felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt instantly happier because there was this sudden shift in my schedule and routine. Maybe that's it...maybe things as of late have been 'too consistent', can that be a thing? Some people like order, organization and schedule in their lives...other people like spontaneity and going with the flow...I think I definitely enjoy a balance of both...some structure but also some sense of flexibility and freedom. Honestly...I don't even know if anything I said above made sense, I've been staring at the computer screen for like 20-30 minutes trying to figure out what to write about, you want honest...that's the honest truth lol...so I'm just gonna leave it at that, come back tomorrow and maybe I'll have something more exciting to say to you guys...peace lol.
Do you ever feel like you're on cruise control or like autopilot? Just kinda going through the motions of life just for the sake of it. I'm not saying I'm like hella bored or that life isn't exciting...but sometimes it just feels like a routine and you're just kinda checking things off the list like oh school, work, gym, meals in between, rest and repeat. I saw this meme that was like oh, can't wait to go home and eat and sleep only to get up and have to work a full 8 hours again and the girl is like crying or something lol. That's definitely how I felt when I was working full time, just the same old thing for 8 straight hours and then you go home, rest and recover only to have to come back to work and do it over again lol. When I first went part time, bro it was like the happiest moment of life because I instantly felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt instantly happier because there was this sudden shift in my schedule and routine. Maybe that's it...maybe things as of late have been 'too consistent', can that be a thing? Some people like order, organization and schedule in their lives...other people like spontaneity and going with the flow...I think I definitely enjoy a balance of both...some structure but also some sense of flexibility and freedom. Honestly...I don't even know if anything I said above made sense, I've been staring at the computer screen for like 20-30 minutes trying to figure out what to write about, you want honest...that's the honest truth lol...so I'm just gonna leave it at that, come back tomorrow and maybe I'll have something more exciting to say to you guys...peace lol.
Saturday, December 07, 2019
Right One, Wrong Time
Day 7/31
Do you believe in the idea that someone can be right for you, but the timing just isn't right? I think I definitely do, I think you can be compatible with someone and they both of y'all are down to be together, but the timing just isn't right and it doesn't allow it to workout...whether you're in different places, different stages of life or have different priorities atm, if the timing isn't right, it isn't gonna work out. I've been really into podcasts lately...comedy, sports, relationships/sex...for one it's really interesting/informative and two it's a good kinda background thing when you're doing other stuff like homework, chores, driving, etc...it's definitely a nice change up from music that's for sure. So I was listening to this relationship podcast and this one girl was saying how she believes that there are multiple ideal partners for a person...so instead of having like 'the one', there are multiple people in your lifetime who could be 'the one'. She went on to say like someone could be 'the one', but it might just be constantly poor and wrong timing throughout both of your lifetimes and that was really interesting to me. Have you ever been a situation where it's like the guy or girl you like just never seems to be available or the timing never seems to be right..whether it's they're always dating somebody, there's some sort of distance or you're just always in different life stages with different priorities that your paths are never able to cross and combine. Another thing I've been thinking about and learning as well and also something they discussed on the podcast is the fact that there doesn't have to be anything specifically wrong for a relationship to not work out. I think this is something I struggled with for a long time because when something doesn't work out, you obviously want to know why and if there's something you can to do change or fix it. But I'm learning like it could just be as simple as there was no chemistry or they didn't see you in a romantic way. I feel like my previous relationships or the girls I was seeing, for the ones that didn't work out with no real explanation...it really bothered me because I was like what went wrong, was it something I did or didn't do...it really ate at me and it took me a long while to accept the fact that maybe nothing went wrong and it just didn't work out. I think it's really interesting to talk about dating with different people of different ages because you get such different answers depending on what the person is looking for in a partner and stuff, especially with the podcast I listen to it's like 3 girls talking about relationships and they're all different ages so they talk about their past and current relationships as well as their approach to dating/marriage and they each bring like different life experiences, perspectives and approaches because they\re all different. It just reminded me of like the people in my life and the differing ages playing a part in what you're looking for and how serious you are about it as well. But yeah, with that...I'll see y'all tomorrow, DEUCES!
Do you believe in the idea that someone can be right for you, but the timing just isn't right? I think I definitely do, I think you can be compatible with someone and they both of y'all are down to be together, but the timing just isn't right and it doesn't allow it to workout...whether you're in different places, different stages of life or have different priorities atm, if the timing isn't right, it isn't gonna work out. I've been really into podcasts lately...comedy, sports, relationships/sex...for one it's really interesting/informative and two it's a good kinda background thing when you're doing other stuff like homework, chores, driving, etc...it's definitely a nice change up from music that's for sure. So I was listening to this relationship podcast and this one girl was saying how she believes that there are multiple ideal partners for a person...so instead of having like 'the one', there are multiple people in your lifetime who could be 'the one'. She went on to say like someone could be 'the one', but it might just be constantly poor and wrong timing throughout both of your lifetimes and that was really interesting to me. Have you ever been a situation where it's like the guy or girl you like just never seems to be available or the timing never seems to be right..whether it's they're always dating somebody, there's some sort of distance or you're just always in different life stages with different priorities that your paths are never able to cross and combine. Another thing I've been thinking about and learning as well and also something they discussed on the podcast is the fact that there doesn't have to be anything specifically wrong for a relationship to not work out. I think this is something I struggled with for a long time because when something doesn't work out, you obviously want to know why and if there's something you can to do change or fix it. But I'm learning like it could just be as simple as there was no chemistry or they didn't see you in a romantic way. I feel like my previous relationships or the girls I was seeing, for the ones that didn't work out with no real explanation...it really bothered me because I was like what went wrong, was it something I did or didn't do...it really ate at me and it took me a long while to accept the fact that maybe nothing went wrong and it just didn't work out. I think it's really interesting to talk about dating with different people of different ages because you get such different answers depending on what the person is looking for in a partner and stuff, especially with the podcast I listen to it's like 3 girls talking about relationships and they're all different ages so they talk about their past and current relationships as well as their approach to dating/marriage and they each bring like different life experiences, perspectives and approaches because they\re all different. It just reminded me of like the people in my life and the differing ages playing a part in what you're looking for and how serious you are about it as well. But yeah, with that...I'll see y'all tomorrow, DEUCES!
Friday, December 06, 2019
Mindset & Mental Space
Day 6/31
There's always a small part of me that second guesses myself when I make a blog post...anything from oh is it interesting enough, are people gonna care, is it too much, too emotional, too over the top...all that jazz. Regret sometimes crosses my mind and the usual question is like oh was it too much lol, should I have toned it down or not have been so honest lol. I forgot who asked me this, but someone asked me how do I respond to people who judge me or the blog. I mean obviously I say it doesn't faze and but it's hard to not let these things creep into your mind especially say if it's somebody you care about or if it's the same comment over and over. I mean, I definitely do try to live by the belief that people are gonna feel how they wanna feel regardless or anything you do or say. It's kinda like how I always talk about how people might like you for no reason...and nothing you say or do will change that. Same with the blog...people are gonna say, think and feel what they want about it regardless of what I say ot do...especially if they don't personally know me...the thoughts they carry and the things they say will be more concrete than if it were somebody I know personally and can have a conversation with. So after that quick feeling of regret or second guessing myself...I'm just like, what's done is done, it is what is, it's out there. One think I really want people to understand is the importance of the mental space that you're in. Whether it's sad songs, angry posts, posts about girls...most if not all the time, whem I write that stuff I'm in a very specific mental space that allows me to like channel those emotions and those thoughts. So for example, if I'm writing a hella corny and gushy post about a girl and I stop halfway and try to come back tomorrow, I might not feel the same way or be able to channel those same feelings. I always tell you guys how I have a lot of topics or half finished posts on my phone or computer that I've never gotten to...it's not as simple as just continuing to write the post or picking any topic on my phone and writing about it. It's a mindset and a mental space and if I'm not feeling it it's really hard to write about it lol. Especially when I used to write raps...I'll go through my phone and find some really dark and angry stuff and I'm just like damn...how did I even think of this stuff and like man...I wonder if I'll ever get to that mindset and mental space again to be able to finish that...or do I even want to get back to that mental space lol. With this blog...I will say that I'm usually hesitant or at least cautious to bring up the blog when I meet new people...one cuz it's not the easiest thing to bring up and two because I don't want them seeing me differently or like having some sort of expectation of me lol. Like when my coworkers first found out I had a mixed bag of reactions lol...one guy was like yooo you're a celebrity lol, it's just awkward for me cuz I never know how to react to that kinda stuff lol. It's def not something I hide because I post it everywhere and the minute you friend me or follow me you'll see it right away lol but it's not something I'll inherently bring up or shove in your face just because lol. With that being said, I'll see y'all tomorrow...peace.
There's always a small part of me that second guesses myself when I make a blog post...anything from oh is it interesting enough, are people gonna care, is it too much, too emotional, too over the top...all that jazz. Regret sometimes crosses my mind and the usual question is like oh was it too much lol, should I have toned it down or not have been so honest lol. I forgot who asked me this, but someone asked me how do I respond to people who judge me or the blog. I mean obviously I say it doesn't faze and but it's hard to not let these things creep into your mind especially say if it's somebody you care about or if it's the same comment over and over. I mean, I definitely do try to live by the belief that people are gonna feel how they wanna feel regardless or anything you do or say. It's kinda like how I always talk about how people might like you for no reason...and nothing you say or do will change that. Same with the blog...people are gonna say, think and feel what they want about it regardless of what I say ot do...especially if they don't personally know me...the thoughts they carry and the things they say will be more concrete than if it were somebody I know personally and can have a conversation with. So after that quick feeling of regret or second guessing myself...I'm just like, what's done is done, it is what is, it's out there. One think I really want people to understand is the importance of the mental space that you're in. Whether it's sad songs, angry posts, posts about girls...most if not all the time, whem I write that stuff I'm in a very specific mental space that allows me to like channel those emotions and those thoughts. So for example, if I'm writing a hella corny and gushy post about a girl and I stop halfway and try to come back tomorrow, I might not feel the same way or be able to channel those same feelings. I always tell you guys how I have a lot of topics or half finished posts on my phone or computer that I've never gotten to...it's not as simple as just continuing to write the post or picking any topic on my phone and writing about it. It's a mindset and a mental space and if I'm not feeling it it's really hard to write about it lol. Especially when I used to write raps...I'll go through my phone and find some really dark and angry stuff and I'm just like damn...how did I even think of this stuff and like man...I wonder if I'll ever get to that mindset and mental space again to be able to finish that...or do I even want to get back to that mental space lol. With this blog...I will say that I'm usually hesitant or at least cautious to bring up the blog when I meet new people...one cuz it's not the easiest thing to bring up and two because I don't want them seeing me differently or like having some sort of expectation of me lol. Like when my coworkers first found out I had a mixed bag of reactions lol...one guy was like yooo you're a celebrity lol, it's just awkward for me cuz I never know how to react to that kinda stuff lol. It's def not something I hide because I post it everywhere and the minute you friend me or follow me you'll see it right away lol but it's not something I'll inherently bring up or shove in your face just because lol. With that being said, I'll see y'all tomorrow...peace.
Thursday, December 05, 2019
From The Heart
Day 5/31
So if you're not familiar with this segment, From The Heart is what it sounds like...nothing fancy, just a little something from the heart. So I haven't been going to church lately...and by lately I mean a couple months, it's been a weird time in my life lately...a time of discovery of self, of life and of everything around me. Don't get me around...to the core, I truly still believe, but how I like to describe it is that I'm taking a detour from the path I “know” that I'm supposed to be on...and that eventually, I'll get back on track, in time...maybe I'll expand on that in another post. But let's move on...so I'm currently in school for social service work in a 2 year program and in my second, third and fourth semester I need to find placement that's realted to my field. So my search for a placement in January was super loaft...they told us about it in early September but obvs your boy procrastinated because what else is new. I had an interview with one that I really wanted but didn't end up getting it. I was applying very sparingly even tho I knew time wasn't on my side. So I applied and had an interview for this one a week ago...this christian youth organization and I left feeling really good and they gave me a really good vibe that I'd get it. I was still really stressed though because I hadn't applied to many other placements, it was already December and time was literally running out. Like I wasn't even stressed about my presentations or even exams cuz that's light...I was more stressed about finding a placement for January. So these past few days I was like shoot...it's almost been a week and they haven't emailed me or anything...maybe I should send a follow up email or something...I was getting super antsy like shoot, if I don't get this I really have to go hard and apply and take whatever I can get, I have to let my coordinator know and the pressure would really be on. Low and behold...today in class, I get an email from the organization saying congratulations we'd like to offer you a placement position. Bro...I was so excited you don't understand. But moreso...I was like damn...this was definitely God, like this was definitely a sign...I really wanted that first placement I interviewed for and I was stressed to the core because I had a month left to find a placement where most people had already found placements ages ago...and low and behold...I get a placement at a christian organization...a partof my life I've been neglecting and ignoring...it's honestly crazy how things work out. First thing I did was text my boy cuz he was always encouraging me and supporting me and he was like yo man let me know how it goes cuz I feel like I'm invested in this too. It's funny because I've been seeing signs...like of God trying to reach out to me. I bumped into my old Teens Conference (a christian conference for high school kids) co coach at the gym and we had a really good conversation. Every now and then my friends are always asking me like oh how're you doing, have you been going to church, I'm praying for you, take your time and all that...and I appreciate that dearly. Honestly, getting this specific placement out of all the places I could have gotten...is no coincidence for sure...all the stress and anxiety building up to this point...was no coincidence. And for those worrying about me falling off too hard...know that your boy is doing okay...I may not be on the right track right now, but I'm figuring things out...and I won't (or hope I won't) let things get too out of control where I stumble completely off the path...it's just a detour, and with all detours...they eventually lead you back onto the right path...so yeah, I hope y'all have been enjoying these daily posts, and if not...sorry lol, if y'all find it annoying...then TOO BAD SUCKA...lol but thank you as always for supporting me...till tomorrow, peace.From The Heart
So if you're not familiar with this segment, From The Heart is what it sounds like...nothing fancy, just a little something from the heart. So I haven't been going to church lately...and by lately I mean a couple months, it's been a weird time in my life lately...a time of discovery of self, of life and of everything around me. Don't get me around...to the core, I truly still believe, but how I like to describe it is that I'm taking a detour from the path I “know” that I'm supposed to be on...and that eventually, I'll get back on track, in time...maybe I'll expand on that in another post. But let's move on...so I'm currently in school for social service work in a 2 year program and in my second, third and fourth semester I need to find placement that's realted to my field. So my search for a placement in January was super loaft...they told us about it in early September but obvs your boy procrastinated because what else is new. I had an interview with one that I really wanted but didn't end up getting it. I was applying very sparingly even tho I knew time wasn't on my side. So I applied and had an interview for this one a week ago...this christian youth organization and I left feeling really good and they gave me a really good vibe that I'd get it. I was still really stressed though because I hadn't applied to many other placements, it was already December and time was literally running out. Like I wasn't even stressed about my presentations or even exams cuz that's light...I was more stressed about finding a placement for January. So these past few days I was like shoot...it's almost been a week and they haven't emailed me or anything...maybe I should send a follow up email or something...I was getting super antsy like shoot, if I don't get this I really have to go hard and apply and take whatever I can get, I have to let my coordinator know and the pressure would really be on. Low and behold...today in class, I get an email from the organization saying congratulations we'd like to offer you a placement position. Bro...I was so excited you don't understand. But moreso...I was like damn...this was definitely God, like this was definitely a sign...I really wanted that first placement I interviewed for and I was stressed to the core because I had a month left to find a placement where most people had already found placements ages ago...and low and behold...I get a placement at a christian organization...a partof my life I've been neglecting and ignoring...it's honestly crazy how things work out. First thing I did was text my boy cuz he was always encouraging me and supporting me and he was like yo man let me know how it goes cuz I feel like I'm invested in this too. It's funny because I've been seeing signs...like of God trying to reach out to me. I bumped into my old Teens Conference (a christian conference for high school kids) co coach at the gym and we had a really good conversation. Every now and then my friends are always asking me like oh how're you doing, have you been going to church, I'm praying for you, take your time and all that...and I appreciate that dearly. Honestly, getting this specific placement out of all the places I could have gotten...is no coincidence for sure...all the stress and anxiety building up to this point...was no coincidence. And for those worrying about me falling off too hard...know that your boy is doing okay...I may not be on the right track right now, but I'm figuring things out...and I won't (or hope I won't) let things get too out of control where I stumble completely off the path...it's just a detour, and with all detours...they eventually lead you back onto the right path...so yeah, I hope y'all have been enjoying these daily posts, and if not...sorry lol, if y'all find it annoying...then TOO BAD SUCKA...lol but thank you as always for supporting me...till tomorrow, peace.From The Heart
Wednesday, December 04, 2019
Rejection, We Meet Again
Day 4/31
So I thought I'd keep it light hearted and hopefully give y'all a good laugh lol...so I'm gonna tell y'all 3 different stories at 3 different points in my life, all focusing around me being rejected...because hey, rejectio is a normal and healthy part of life. I think I used to be so scared and hesitant to share these kinds of things or really personal struggles and failures...but this is what this blog as grown to kinda become...and it's played a big part in me being so confident and comfortable in sharing what normal people would consider personal or embarrassing, lol so here we go...and just remember this, better to shoot your shot and miss and live to shoot another day than to not shoot at all...does that make sense, is that hella corny? LOL oh well...
So this was sometime earlier in my university career...I was in this one class and there was this girl that I always saw and thought was super cute. I was like she looks really familiar for some reason...turns out she was on the York volleyball team lol. Anyways, so one day after class, I'm like Rodmond, suck it up and approach her.So I'm waiting for her to pack up all her stuff and it's literally just us 2 left in the room...she gets up to leave and I'm like shoot, there goes my chance. She leaves the room and I'm like you know what...NAH, just do it. So I run out of the room and I chase after her and I tap her on the shoulder and I awkward go like...oh hey, I uh....I think you're really cute, just wondering if I could get your number...bro I didn't even introduce myself or tell her I was in her class LOL...so she's like uh...I gotta go, but um...find me on facebook, and she walks away. As I'm walking to the bus, I'm like wait a minute...I didn't even get her name, how am I supposed to find her on facebook...LOOOOL.
So I thought I'd keep it light hearted and hopefully give y'all a good laugh lol...so I'm gonna tell y'all 3 different stories at 3 different points in my life, all focusing around me being rejected...because hey, rejectio is a normal and healthy part of life. I think I used to be so scared and hesitant to share these kinds of things or really personal struggles and failures...but this is what this blog as grown to kinda become...and it's played a big part in me being so confident and comfortable in sharing what normal people would consider personal or embarrassing, lol so here we go...and just remember this, better to shoot your shot and miss and live to shoot another day than to not shoot at all...does that make sense, is that hella corny? LOL oh well...
So this was sometime earlier in my university career...I was in this one class and there was this girl that I always saw and thought was super cute. I was like she looks really familiar for some reason...turns out she was on the York volleyball team lol. Anyways, so one day after class, I'm like Rodmond, suck it up and approach her.So I'm waiting for her to pack up all her stuff and it's literally just us 2 left in the room...she gets up to leave and I'm like shoot, there goes my chance. She leaves the room and I'm like you know what...NAH, just do it. So I run out of the room and I chase after her and I tap her on the shoulder and I awkward go like...oh hey, I uh....I think you're really cute, just wondering if I could get your number...bro I didn't even introduce myself or tell her I was in her class LOL...so she's like uh...I gotta go, but um...find me on facebook, and she walks away. As I'm walking to the bus, I'm like wait a minute...I didn't even get her name, how am I supposed to find her on facebook...LOOOOL.
This second one was also sometime in university, just for context in how old I was lol, but it was in a church setting. So I did this project thing with this group and there was this one girl who I thought was really cool and we had a bunch of good conversations. So after the project ended, I kept in contact with her and we were talking for a good while. So I would always jokingly be like oh hey let me buy you dinner one day and she'd always be like oh haha nah it's cool (read the signs Rodmond). So I kept pushing and I was like nah forreal what day are you free, let's grab dinner. She was like nah I don't think that's a good idea...and the next words that came out of her mouth I'll never forget because it was so jokes and hella serious at the same time. So she was like yeah nah I don't think that's a good idea, what are your intentions???? LOOOL I dunno if you've ever had a girl or guy ask you that before, but I was with a group of friends and I showed them and they were like daaaaaamnnnn. Obviously in a christian context like we continued the conversation and she was like oh yeah it's not what I'm looking for atm and I don't wanna like cause you to stumble or be tempted lol, it was a hella lengthy conversation I was like yeah, honestly I know the answer should be marriage (I was probs like hella early 20's) but I just wanna get to know you better tbh and she was like yeah well yu can do that through messenger lol...so that was the end of that lol.
So this third one is somewhat recent...I think, definitely within like these past 3-4 years, is that recent? Anyways, so I matched with this girl on tinder and we hit it off instantly, the conversation was dope and we would talk on the phone till like 3-4 am every night and I hate talking on the phone lol. So anyways, she found out I had a blog and she instantly fell in love...I kid you not, like she was in love with the blog and like so inspired by it, it was kinda creepy but jokes and flattering at the same time. Keep in mind we still hadn't met up yet, we were probably talking for like 2-3 weeks already, so we finally met up and I just feel like I wasn't what she expected lol. I think she wanted me to be some inspiring, insightful, hella poetic ass kinda dude LOL. I mean...I am, to a certain extent, but I'm a goofy dude (something I used to see as a negative about myself, save that for another time) and I like to joke around and I'm serious about half the time or when I need to be lol. So my theory is that I feel like she fell in love with RT...or the dude who writes to you on this blog, who's words you're reading right now. I know it's weird, but hear me out...I feel like some people see the blog as a different person, like a different side or different persona of mine...I've definitely gotten it before...in my younger years, the girls that I would chill with would be like you're so different on the blog...only because I would write about them rather than talking about our problems. Anyways, yeah, I feel like this girl was in love with the blog and I guess I didn't live up to her expectations in real life lol...that one definitely stung a bit only because we really hit it off and I'm a sucker for that shit...but oh well, live and learn, pick up the ball and shoot another shot...till tomorrow, DEUCES.
So this third one is somewhat recent...I think, definitely within like these past 3-4 years, is that recent? Anyways, so I matched with this girl on tinder and we hit it off instantly, the conversation was dope and we would talk on the phone till like 3-4 am every night and I hate talking on the phone lol. So anyways, she found out I had a blog and she instantly fell in love...I kid you not, like she was in love with the blog and like so inspired by it, it was kinda creepy but jokes and flattering at the same time. Keep in mind we still hadn't met up yet, we were probably talking for like 2-3 weeks already, so we finally met up and I just feel like I wasn't what she expected lol. I think she wanted me to be some inspiring, insightful, hella poetic ass kinda dude LOL. I mean...I am, to a certain extent, but I'm a goofy dude (something I used to see as a negative about myself, save that for another time) and I like to joke around and I'm serious about half the time or when I need to be lol. So my theory is that I feel like she fell in love with RT...or the dude who writes to you on this blog, who's words you're reading right now. I know it's weird, but hear me out...I feel like some people see the blog as a different person, like a different side or different persona of mine...I've definitely gotten it before...in my younger years, the girls that I would chill with would be like you're so different on the blog...only because I would write about them rather than talking about our problems. Anyways, yeah, I feel like this girl was in love with the blog and I guess I didn't live up to her expectations in real life lol...that one definitely stung a bit only because we really hit it off and I'm a sucker for that shit...but oh well, live and learn, pick up the ball and shoot another shot...till tomorrow, DEUCES.
Tuesday, December 03, 2019
The Right Thing To Do, The Right Thing For You
Day 3/31
So lemme tell you 2 different stories to start...
So I was at the gym with a friend a long time ago and we went to this machine after this dude had finished it and we saw that he had left his phone. Without hesitation I picked up the phone, found him at the water fountain and gave him his phone. He didn't really have any reaction, he said thank you but had a very cold face...like imagine One Punch Man, that's the kinda face he gave me. So I went back to my friend and I was like yeah, he didn't seem really appreciative, should've just left the phone or kept it (obvs a joke) and we laughed about it.
So this second story, I was selling a textbook for university and I met up with the dude in the library and he gave me the money, I gave him the book and he left. I sat down in the library and realized he gave me an extra $50, again without hesitation I called him back and I was like oh hey, you accidentally gave me an extra $50. So he came back, I gave him the money and the dude like shook my hand and he was like oh my gosh, holy crap, I can't believe it, most people wouldn't have done what you did, all that stuff. Fast forward a little bit...turns out we had a lot of mutual friends and my boy was like yo, you know he always talks about you...anytime I bring you up he's like Rodmond? He's a hella good dude, I gave him and extra $50 and he gave it back to me and stuff. It felt really good hearing that, I'm not gonna lie lol.
So it brings me to my point lol...why do we do good things, like with the first scenario...I felt this weird feeling of not being fulfilled, like I expected something in return like a big hug and huge thank you...I even joked about keeping the dude's phone lol...he seemed ungrateful and it made me feel like I didn't get what I felt I deserved. With the second situation, it was more gratifying and it felt so much better because the dude was so appreciative and it made me feel good about myself. Thinking about these 2 scenarios, it made me ask the question...well why do we do good deeds? Is it because it's the right thing to do, or because it makes us feel good and have some sort of moral accomplishment. Random things like giving money to the homeless, donating your clothes to charity...are you doing that stuff cuz it's a good thing to do or because you want that sense of recognition and appreciation. Just a random open ended question I started to think of when I compared these 2 scenarios side by side lol. Anyways....this whole making a blog post everyday is harder than I thought lol...the well is definitely running dry, but I'm gonna do my best lol, stick with me...peace.
So lemme tell you 2 different stories to start...
So I was at the gym with a friend a long time ago and we went to this machine after this dude had finished it and we saw that he had left his phone. Without hesitation I picked up the phone, found him at the water fountain and gave him his phone. He didn't really have any reaction, he said thank you but had a very cold face...like imagine One Punch Man, that's the kinda face he gave me. So I went back to my friend and I was like yeah, he didn't seem really appreciative, should've just left the phone or kept it (obvs a joke) and we laughed about it.
So this second story, I was selling a textbook for university and I met up with the dude in the library and he gave me the money, I gave him the book and he left. I sat down in the library and realized he gave me an extra $50, again without hesitation I called him back and I was like oh hey, you accidentally gave me an extra $50. So he came back, I gave him the money and the dude like shook my hand and he was like oh my gosh, holy crap, I can't believe it, most people wouldn't have done what you did, all that stuff. Fast forward a little bit...turns out we had a lot of mutual friends and my boy was like yo, you know he always talks about you...anytime I bring you up he's like Rodmond? He's a hella good dude, I gave him and extra $50 and he gave it back to me and stuff. It felt really good hearing that, I'm not gonna lie lol.
So it brings me to my point lol...why do we do good things, like with the first scenario...I felt this weird feeling of not being fulfilled, like I expected something in return like a big hug and huge thank you...I even joked about keeping the dude's phone lol...he seemed ungrateful and it made me feel like I didn't get what I felt I deserved. With the second situation, it was more gratifying and it felt so much better because the dude was so appreciative and it made me feel good about myself. Thinking about these 2 scenarios, it made me ask the question...well why do we do good deeds? Is it because it's the right thing to do, or because it makes us feel good and have some sort of moral accomplishment. Random things like giving money to the homeless, donating your clothes to charity...are you doing that stuff cuz it's a good thing to do or because you want that sense of recognition and appreciation. Just a random open ended question I started to think of when I compared these 2 scenarios side by side lol. Anyways....this whole making a blog post everyday is harder than I thought lol...the well is definitely running dry, but I'm gonna do my best lol, stick with me...peace.
Monday, December 02, 2019
Expectation vs Reality
Day 2/31
I feel like I take a lot of inspiration from Timothy Dela Ghetto, just like values and like how you approach life, friends and relationships. I was chilling with a friend one time and he was like yo I get that vibe from you...just like a super chill dude who's likable and cool with everyone. It's also jokes because one of my best friend's is like a big black dude aka my Rick LOL But on the real tho, I literally grew up listening to this dude...advice on life, girls, friendships...all that jazz. I really resonate with just his entire vibe. So anyways he always talks about how like when he goes for auditions, it always ends up being the ones he didn't do well on that he gets calls back from...and the ones he thinks he killed and did well on, he doesn't get a call back. It just made me think about my life in that same context...job interviews I think I did well in, I didn't hear from them...the ones I think I did poorly in, I get the job lol. Even in a relationship context...the dates that I think went really well, suddenly you get ghosted or you don't get a second date...the dates that I think went terribly or not so good, you get a second date lol. It's just funny how that works out sometimes...what's the take away from this? I'm not too sure to be honest...don't sell yourself short, go with the flow, it is what it is...who knows, just a little something I wanted to share with y'all. The creative juices haven't really been flowing as of late lol...either I've been lacking inspiration or literally nothing interesting has been happening in my life...at least nothing worth making a blog post over lol. Maybe I just have to dig deeper because I feel like there's a lot going on that I haven't really been sharing, but I also don't really know how to put it into words...who knows, maybe it'll come to me...see y'all tomorrow, peace.
I feel like I take a lot of inspiration from Timothy Dela Ghetto, just like values and like how you approach life, friends and relationships. I was chilling with a friend one time and he was like yo I get that vibe from you...just like a super chill dude who's likable and cool with everyone. It's also jokes because one of my best friend's is like a big black dude aka my Rick LOL But on the real tho, I literally grew up listening to this dude...advice on life, girls, friendships...all that jazz. I really resonate with just his entire vibe. So anyways he always talks about how like when he goes for auditions, it always ends up being the ones he didn't do well on that he gets calls back from...and the ones he thinks he killed and did well on, he doesn't get a call back. It just made me think about my life in that same context...job interviews I think I did well in, I didn't hear from them...the ones I think I did poorly in, I get the job lol. Even in a relationship context...the dates that I think went really well, suddenly you get ghosted or you don't get a second date...the dates that I think went terribly or not so good, you get a second date lol. It's just funny how that works out sometimes...what's the take away from this? I'm not too sure to be honest...don't sell yourself short, go with the flow, it is what it is...who knows, just a little something I wanted to share with y'all. The creative juices haven't really been flowing as of late lol...either I've been lacking inspiration or literally nothing interesting has been happening in my life...at least nothing worth making a blog post over lol. Maybe I just have to dig deeper because I feel like there's a lot going on that I haven't really been sharing, but I also don't really know how to put it into words...who knows, maybe it'll come to me...see y'all tomorrow, peace.
Sunday, December 01, 2019
Two Girls Fighting In Class
Day 1/31
What’s good y’all...HAPPY DECEMBER, with that being said...my annual present to you guys this holiday season is a month’s worth of blog posts...yep, a post everyday...I always slack off a day or two on this but I always end up getting you 31 posts...I think at least...and this December is no different, I’m excited cuz a lot is going on and in the process.
But let’s move on, so this is the post that a lot of y’all have been waiting for. So let’s flashback to my first year of university...I was in this class and I had a group presentation coming up. So the day of the presentation, my group decides to meet up before class to practice. So there’s 5 ppl in our group...me, another guy and 3 girls. So throughout the course of this class, girl 1 and 2 seem pretty chill, they talk during class and stuff. So we’re in the room like half an hour before class practicing for our presentation, girl 1 starts like roasting girl 2 for being loaft and never being able to meet up to work on the presentation, I didn’t think nothing of it cuz it seemed harmless. Suddenly these girls start yelling at each other and for context, they’re sitting across from each other in a pretty small room. Girl 1 starts yelling like “I’M GONNA GET MY BOYS TO KILL YOU”. Girl 3 is sitting on the side somewhere speechless like bro what’s going on. Me and the dude who’re pretty cool look at each other like bruh...what’s going on. Suddenly they both stand up, get into each other’s face and start SWINGING...bro girl 1 frickin went Floyd Mayweather on girl 2...they both were like pulling each other’s hair, girl 1 like ripped girl 2’s hoops out of her ear and like ripped her shirt off too. This goes on for about 2 minutes...the dude and I look at each other like alright we should probably try to pull them apart. Girl 1 looks perfectly fine, hair a little bit messy...girl 2 had her lip bleeding, ear bleeding, scratches on her face and her shirt ripped. They’re back to sitting on opposite sides of the class, both on the phone with somebody. Girl 1 is on the phone with her friend saying she’s gonna call her brother and cousin to come kill this girl...girl 2 is on the phone with the COPS saying girl 1 is threatening her and she has cuts and stuff on her face. The professor walks in and we’re like...uh yeah we can’t present today.and we explained the situation. She knew girl 2 was loaft so her reaction was literally like oh...I could see that coming LOL like what, you wanna know what’s funnier, the class was called Women In Canada...I took it cuz it was a bird course relax...but it’s about like history of women and important female figures and empowerment and everything and here 2 girls are scrapping for no reason lol. So like 10 minutes into class, 2 cops walk into the room and ask to speak to everyone in my group individually and just ask us what happened lol. After class, the other guy in my group and I start talking and he’s like brooooo girl 2 got slapppppped...and we had a good laugh. Regarding the presentation, I think we ended up presenting just us 3...but I ended up getting an A in that class...and we all lived happily ever after.
What’s good y’all...HAPPY DECEMBER, with that being said...my annual present to you guys this holiday season is a month’s worth of blog posts...yep, a post everyday...I always slack off a day or two on this but I always end up getting you 31 posts...I think at least...and this December is no different, I’m excited cuz a lot is going on and in the process.
But let’s move on, so this is the post that a lot of y’all have been waiting for. So let’s flashback to my first year of university...I was in this class and I had a group presentation coming up. So the day of the presentation, my group decides to meet up before class to practice. So there’s 5 ppl in our group...me, another guy and 3 girls. So throughout the course of this class, girl 1 and 2 seem pretty chill, they talk during class and stuff. So we’re in the room like half an hour before class practicing for our presentation, girl 1 starts like roasting girl 2 for being loaft and never being able to meet up to work on the presentation, I didn’t think nothing of it cuz it seemed harmless. Suddenly these girls start yelling at each other and for context, they’re sitting across from each other in a pretty small room. Girl 1 starts yelling like “I’M GONNA GET MY BOYS TO KILL YOU”. Girl 3 is sitting on the side somewhere speechless like bro what’s going on. Me and the dude who’re pretty cool look at each other like bruh...what’s going on. Suddenly they both stand up, get into each other’s face and start SWINGING...bro girl 1 frickin went Floyd Mayweather on girl 2...they both were like pulling each other’s hair, girl 1 like ripped girl 2’s hoops out of her ear and like ripped her shirt off too. This goes on for about 2 minutes...the dude and I look at each other like alright we should probably try to pull them apart. Girl 1 looks perfectly fine, hair a little bit messy...girl 2 had her lip bleeding, ear bleeding, scratches on her face and her shirt ripped. They’re back to sitting on opposite sides of the class, both on the phone with somebody. Girl 1 is on the phone with her friend saying she’s gonna call her brother and cousin to come kill this girl...girl 2 is on the phone with the COPS saying girl 1 is threatening her and she has cuts and stuff on her face. The professor walks in and we’re like...uh yeah we can’t present today.and we explained the situation. She knew girl 2 was loaft so her reaction was literally like oh...I could see that coming LOL like what, you wanna know what’s funnier, the class was called Women In Canada...I took it cuz it was a bird course relax...but it’s about like history of women and important female figures and empowerment and everything and here 2 girls are scrapping for no reason lol. So like 10 minutes into class, 2 cops walk into the room and ask to speak to everyone in my group individually and just ask us what happened lol. After class, the other guy in my group and I start talking and he’s like brooooo girl 2 got slapppppped...and we had a good laugh. Regarding the presentation, I think we ended up presenting just us 3...but I ended up getting an A in that class...and we all lived happily ever after.
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