Guest Writer #18: SpeakingMyMind
Guest Writer #19: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #20: My Best Friend Agnes Part 2
Wow, it's been a while since we've had one of these, I think this is the first of the new year. So some of y'all have favourite kinds of posts on this blog, whether it be stories about girls, advice, rants or whatever. One of my favourite kinds of posts are the guest posts...cuz it's dope to read other people's thoughts, feelings and such...it's just cool seeing certain people in a different light than I usually see them, a more personal and meaningful light. Without further ado, here y'all go...
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Firstly, thanks to Rod for letting me have this outlet! This ended up being longer than I expected, haha, but I hope y'all can enjoy it and get something out of it as well.
I was listening to Miguel’s Spotify Session the other day at work and he was explaining the story behind his song “Sure Thing” which has always been a favourite of mine. (If you need a listen, here’s a good live version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6p2RRbukkI ) At first listen, it’s a tender R&B love song, but he was explaining how, ironically, he wrote it after he and his girlfriend broke up, as he realized how immature he had been and how he took her for granted. He wrote this song thinking about all the reasons why they were RIGHT for each other. He ended up getting a second chance with her. Man, if only we could all write heartfelt love songs....
The song has a hook that goes: “You could bet that, never gotta sweat that”. It really got me thinking because even though his relationship was over at the time, he once considered it a “sure thing.” I can relate, having gone through a break up recently. I was once SO sure of this relationship. But the funny thing about break-ups is that it breaks all the promises that were made, destroys your plans for the future and tears two people apart, the same two people who were once so incredibly committed to all those promises and plans they made together, and to each other. You’re left to pick up the pieces on your own, as individuals. You go from one unit to being two different people, and you do things intentionally to separate yourselves from each other. You can't be sure anymore.
When someone goes from your world to a complete stranger, it’s hella sad and upsetting and it’ll make you so angry at everything and everyone. You lash out, try to blame them, blame yourself, blame anything. You’ll do things to distract yourself, go out so you don't have time to think or drink every night. You rebound all over the place with whoever you can get, even making those same promises you couldn't keep to someone else, just so you don't have to be alone. You'll become selfish and do things that you shouldn't do because you feel like you deserve to, after everything you've had to go through. You'll try to hurt the other person back and “win” the break-up, try to prove to everyone you're better off, anything to take the pain away from yourself, or at least control it... But y’know what happened with me was that eventually, I had to stop and sit there, and let it all sink in. I had to let it destroy me and kick me down. I let it hurt, and it hurt so bad, to the point that you’re begging God to just take it all away, begging that you could just sleep forever so you don’t have to feel anything anymore. And it sucked, SO BAD.
Then after all that, those rose-tinted glasses finally come off, and you see the situation for what it is. You see the good that came from it but you also admit to your own faults and failures. You see the person for who they really are, and you see the relationship for what it really was. It was a sure thing at the time… but you see, that’s the thing about relationships and being in love. When it’s good, it’s good, amazing even. Things come easily, and you can be so sure about it. But when it’s not so good, things get hard and you need to put in the effort. You have to be willing to communicate and compromise. You have to decide if you will let go of that pride you hold so tightly and work to make things better, or if you’re going to give up on the one thing you were once so sure of, the one thing that you've invested so much into. The sad part is that it takes two people, and if one's not in it, it's already over. A love that’s trusting, respecting and long-lasting doesn’t just happen, yet so many people think it should be a breeze, that it's always going to be good and easy, otherwise it wasn't meant to be. And it’s a shame because you see relationships end because of this. It's a shame that people blame it on outside factors, or losing feelings or all this other stuff, just because it's easier. It’s a shame that people are willing to give up a sure thing.
I had my wins, losses, successes and mistakes during the relationship, but everything has a lesson learned. I may have lost one person but I gained an ENTIRE VILLAGE of people who truly love and care about me. I rekindled and made new friendships. I rediscovered myself and remembered who I was before this person. I opened my eyes to the truth that those rose-tinted glasses so blinded me from. And most importantly (as Rod would say) I learned to trust in the process. I'm a firm believer that if it's meant to be, God will let it happen. If it doesn't happen, then God probably just saved your ass from a disaster!
Just like a shark, you keep swimming forward. Keep doing you and you’ll find your sure thing, and you won’t have to question it at all. You can bet that, never gotta sweat that!
Guest Writer #19: Heartlocked
Guest Writer #20: My Best Friend Agnes Part 2
Wow, it's been a while since we've had one of these, I think this is the first of the new year. So some of y'all have favourite kinds of posts on this blog, whether it be stories about girls, advice, rants or whatever. One of my favourite kinds of posts are the guest posts...cuz it's dope to read other people's thoughts, feelings and such...it's just cool seeing certain people in a different light than I usually see them, a more personal and meaningful light. Without further ado, here y'all go...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Firstly, thanks to Rod for letting me have this outlet! This ended up being longer than I expected, haha, but I hope y'all can enjoy it and get something out of it as well.
I was listening to Miguel’s Spotify Session the other day at work and he was explaining the story behind his song “Sure Thing” which has always been a favourite of mine. (If you need a listen, here’s a good live version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6p2RRbukkI ) At first listen, it’s a tender R&B love song, but he was explaining how, ironically, he wrote it after he and his girlfriend broke up, as he realized how immature he had been and how he took her for granted. He wrote this song thinking about all the reasons why they were RIGHT for each other. He ended up getting a second chance with her. Man, if only we could all write heartfelt love songs....
The song has a hook that goes: “You could bet that, never gotta sweat that”. It really got me thinking because even though his relationship was over at the time, he once considered it a “sure thing.” I can relate, having gone through a break up recently. I was once SO sure of this relationship. But the funny thing about break-ups is that it breaks all the promises that were made, destroys your plans for the future and tears two people apart, the same two people who were once so incredibly committed to all those promises and plans they made together, and to each other. You’re left to pick up the pieces on your own, as individuals. You go from one unit to being two different people, and you do things intentionally to separate yourselves from each other. You can't be sure anymore.
When someone goes from your world to a complete stranger, it’s hella sad and upsetting and it’ll make you so angry at everything and everyone. You lash out, try to blame them, blame yourself, blame anything. You’ll do things to distract yourself, go out so you don't have time to think or drink every night. You rebound all over the place with whoever you can get, even making those same promises you couldn't keep to someone else, just so you don't have to be alone. You'll become selfish and do things that you shouldn't do because you feel like you deserve to, after everything you've had to go through. You'll try to hurt the other person back and “win” the break-up, try to prove to everyone you're better off, anything to take the pain away from yourself, or at least control it... But y’know what happened with me was that eventually, I had to stop and sit there, and let it all sink in. I had to let it destroy me and kick me down. I let it hurt, and it hurt so bad, to the point that you’re begging God to just take it all away, begging that you could just sleep forever so you don’t have to feel anything anymore. And it sucked, SO BAD.
Then after all that, those rose-tinted glasses finally come off, and you see the situation for what it is. You see the good that came from it but you also admit to your own faults and failures. You see the person for who they really are, and you see the relationship for what it really was. It was a sure thing at the time… but you see, that’s the thing about relationships and being in love. When it’s good, it’s good, amazing even. Things come easily, and you can be so sure about it. But when it’s not so good, things get hard and you need to put in the effort. You have to be willing to communicate and compromise. You have to decide if you will let go of that pride you hold so tightly and work to make things better, or if you’re going to give up on the one thing you were once so sure of, the one thing that you've invested so much into. The sad part is that it takes two people, and if one's not in it, it's already over. A love that’s trusting, respecting and long-lasting doesn’t just happen, yet so many people think it should be a breeze, that it's always going to be good and easy, otherwise it wasn't meant to be. And it’s a shame because you see relationships end because of this. It's a shame that people blame it on outside factors, or losing feelings or all this other stuff, just because it's easier. It’s a shame that people are willing to give up a sure thing.
I had my wins, losses, successes and mistakes during the relationship, but everything has a lesson learned. I may have lost one person but I gained an ENTIRE VILLAGE of people who truly love and care about me. I rekindled and made new friendships. I rediscovered myself and remembered who I was before this person. I opened my eyes to the truth that those rose-tinted glasses so blinded me from. And most importantly (as Rod would say) I learned to trust in the process. I'm a firm believer that if it's meant to be, God will let it happen. If it doesn't happen, then God probably just saved your ass from a disaster!
Just like a shark, you keep swimming forward. Keep doing you and you’ll find your sure thing, and you won’t have to question it at all. You can bet that, never gotta sweat that!
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