Hit Or Miss

So it feels like it's been a while since we've talked for some reason...anyways, so I feel like there are just some things in life that you can't control. That's a pretty obvious statement and this is definitely something I've talked about on the blog before. So like I said there are some things in your life you just can't control, one of them is who likes you and who doesn't like you...not romantically just as a person, but I guess you can apply it romantically as well. No matter how dope of a person you are or think you are, no matter what you do or say some people just won't like you for their own varying reasons. The other thing for me at least is that I can't control what posts y'all like or dislike, and this is something I've said a million times like the posts I think are super dope, put a lot of time and effort into usually don't generate as many views as like the ones I just write spontaneously or write without much thought or effort. At least that's the trend I notice lol there are def variable and there are def topics that I know will garner more views like anything related to girls or relationships lol. At the end of the day, something I remind myself of is that some posts are gonna hit and some are gonna miss, that's just something I can't control and def something I shouldn't get stressed over (which I don't lol). Timothy Dela Ghetto is somebody I really vibe with and you'd know this if you knew me, so he's always like man I put so much money, time and effort into skits and they don\t get as many views as like mukbangs and that's just eating and talking. He's like I enjoy doing the skits but mukbangs are so much easier cuz you're just eating and talking with the homies. I think about the blog in that aspect sometimes too lol like how easy would it be to just write about girls are relationships constantly and watch the views pile up LOL. But that's why I sometimes say that this blog as much as it is for you is moreso for me...as therapy (bars) and like just a form of expression, being able to write and talk about whatever I want and I've said it before I really felt that freedom when the blog hit a million views cuz it was like a huge milestone but also a huge weight lifted like the pressure was gone in a weird way lol. Right now I feel like less need to maximize views and more just being creatively free...making posts like updating y'all on my life or experimenting with new ideas like the Ask The Audience Posts. At the end of the day, like I said I can't control what posts people enjoy reading or don't enjoy reading, I just have to keep writing for myself, talking about things I like, things I know and most importantly things that make me happy...and shouldn't that be what it's all about? So till next time, PEACE.

Guest Writer #38: TC

 As always, all of the previous guest posts will be linked below...show whem some love!

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

#32: Mike Bibby 

#33: Young Gerald

#34: Sbaby 

#35: Livelifeontheko 

#36: Kim_beee

#37: Inner Self

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My man thanks for having me again. Honestly, every time I make a guest appearance I like to look back through the previous posts and see who I was and what was on my mind at the time. It’s cool seeing how my perspectives have changed through the course of these guest posts.

I guess the biggest thing on my mind right now is passion. I feel like most people at this age yearns to do something that they are passionate about but lack the courage or awareness of what their passions are. I am at the point in my life where I am scared to see who I would be in 10 years if I don’t chase / find my passions. It’s like I am looking at a divergence in my life where one path is the typical American Dream, but the other being absolutely unknown, yet completely enticing. You know that feeling when you were a kid and you had the naivety of wanting to change the world. I don’t want to lose that.

Growing up, we all had these wild dreams that we wanted to pursue. For me, it was always some variation of helping the poor, fighting for equality, representing the underprivileged – just making a difference. Moving back to the East Coast has given me the chance opportunity to befriend a group of Harvard Law students. Talking to them and hearing their stories of foregoing the Corporate dollars, to pursue careers of representing the underprivileged, or fighting for equality gave me a wake up call. I was once like that.

The next chapter in my life is yet to be determined, but I am excited and can’t wait to see where my passions take me.

When The Blog Blows Up...

When I was younger and I first started the blog, the only real goal was to blow up. I feel like I sometimes still go through phases of wanting the blog to 'blow up',like it just takes ONE famous or even semi-famous person to tweet or post about my blog and I'm set LOL, that's how I used to think at least. I used to think to myself if the blog ever hit a million views, it'll mean we've blown up...I say if cuz honestly I never thought we'd ever hit a million views lol it just seemed like just a large and unattainable number, but we did/ I think back to a conversation I had with a friend where he straight up told me “your blog will never up”. And he didn't say this in a ill=mannered or rude way, but he wa more like people just don\t care LOL. I know it sounds rude but it's not, he's like think about it...it's a blog about your life, it's a dope blog but like why would some random person on the street care about clicking onto a blog about some dude's personal life. And when he put it like that, it really sat with me and I was like damn, you're so right. I don't offer no fashion tips or food recipes or anything of real “value” if you will, it's literally just my life and my experiences, some advice here and there...why wiuld the average person that doesn't know me care or even be remotely curious about my blog lol. In that context, I understoof and was like yeah, my blog probably will never blow up. But then I camme to this new realization...of like sure maybe the blog will never blow up, I'll never influence millions of people, but maybe that's not the purpose of this blog. Maybe the path I'm on is to influence and affect the circle and the people around me. Like over the years I've received a lot of dope messages from friends, old classmates, social media buddies who were like yo I really related to this post or I really liked this post or this post really nelped me out and those words meant the world to me. I thought o myself like yeah some people are meant to influence, inspire and encourage large crowds and bodies of people, but maybe some peopleare meant to just do that to a small handful of the people that surround you. I kinda imagine some like motivational workshop or something, just because like 10 people attend your workshop vs 100 at another person's workshop doesn't make what you're saying any less important, it just means you're only speaking to the 10 people. I kinda feel simiar to that of like well maybe the blog will never blow up and I'll never inspire the masses LOOOOL but like maybe I'm just meant to encourage, inspire and motivate the people around me and that in itself was such a dope and reassuring feeling. I remind myself of that now and it helps me to keep moving forwad, even if I can help one person who's going through a difficult situation by giving them some insight, or maybe some comfort or whatever, that's good enough you know. Again, I just think back to all the people that have reahed out to me over the years and I'm super thankful to even have this platform and have this voice for people to read, relate, laugh, enjoy, etc. So yeah, with that...I'll see y'all next week, GUEST POST ON MONDAY!

Guest Writer #37: Inner Self

#1: SpeakingMyMind 

#2: Letters To You 

#3: TC 

#4: Anonymous Queen B

#5: Someone You Used To Know 

#6: Heartlocked 

#7: LG Slayer 231 

#8: TC

#9: G. Ho 

#10: Golden Frieza 

#11: Ghost Writer 

#12: Pink Precariat

#13: Disconnect 

#14: Daniel 

#15: Golden Frieza

#16: Someone You Used To Know 

#17: Yellow Rose 

#18: SpeakingMyMind

#19: Heartlocked 

#20: My Best Friend

#21: Free Spirit, Wild Heart
#22: Inner Self 

#23: G 

#24: Nuji 

#25: Broccoli 

#26 

#27: Dak 

#28: Carmom

#29: Mike Bibby 

#30: B.C.K. 

#31: WG 

#32: Mike Bibby 

#33: Young Gerald

#34: Sbaby 

#35: Livelifeontheko 

#36: Kim_beee

Hello friends, I'm very excited to be bringing back to y'all the guest posts but only for the month of March! Meaning I'm gonna hit you with a guest post every week of March. So I originally thought to myself that I wanted to retire the guest posts at 50, but tbh it's pretty hard to find guest posts cuz I don't really have that many friends and the guest posts are definitely more personal and take a lot more openness and honesty which not everyone is comfortable with which is totally understandable. Which is why I wanted to end it at 40 since it's a round number and shift my focus to the Ask TheAudience series because it's definitely more casual and easier to simply ask people questions rather than having them write an entire post. But with that, if y'all are new here, the guest posts are something that was created super organically. One of my friends hit me up a long time ago and was like hey can I write a post on your blog and I was like wtf that's so random, it's my blog...but then I thought about it and was like yo, that's a dope concept, having different people write posts about whatever they choose and give y'all different insights and perspectives. And with that I opened the door for friends or people in general to reach out to me if they wanted to write a post on my blog and over the years I've been super blessed to have so many different friends, peers and the likeness write some super dope, funny, personal, inspiring and encouraging guest posts. So I hope y'all enjoy and also take the time to show some of the previous guest posts some love cuz it def took time, energy and courage to write one. Enjoy, and I'll see y'all soon, peace!

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Forward

So far 2021 has been a pretty busy year. I’m currently about to finish school and it’s been kind of crazy as I am also in the process of prepping and applying for jobs. It just feels a little overwhelming as it seems like a lot is slowly piling up. As much as it is stressful, in a way, I’m really happy that I have a goal for what I need to do after school is over. I have a clear idea of what I want to do, where I want to be and how I can get there but at the same time, I doubt myself a lot. I definitely have these negative thoughts where sometimes I feel like I’m behind or I’m not where I’m supposed to be… Something that I’ve learned about myself is that I often check up on my friends and they’ll tell me how they’re doing and somehow, I’ll just start to compare myself to what they’re doing in life even when we’re not in the same stream of schooling or work. So, I have this one buddy of mine and we’ve been boys since high school. I think he’s really successful and I definitely look to him as someone that motivates me. So, one time I had a heart to heart convo with him on the topic of work and success. I told him how it’s always a good time catching up with him but then it sucks at the same time because I can’t help but compare myself to him when he tells me how well he’s doing. He told me not to do that because we’re all doing different things… and what’s the point of comparing anyways. I’m not in a race with him or anyone. I’m in my own marathon. As long as I’m taking proactive steps to get closer to my goals then I can’t be too hard on myself. Even if it’s one tiny step closer. I know this is common sense, but you know how sometimes perspectives just hits differently when it is coming from someone you got a lot of respect for you know? But ya.. I guess what I’m trying to say is I hope you all are moving forward and getting closer and closer to your goals. Don’t compare yourself with anyone and just continue to focus on improving yourself!

The Luxury Of Closure

I feel like I'm somebody who always likes to ask why and sometime that feeling of always wanting to ask why gets me into trouble or it makes me seem like I have a problem you know. A long time ago at church, I would always wear birks (sandals) to church and these adults would always be on my back about how I'm not looking my best or something like that and it would irk me to no ends and I would always be like well what's the problem, why can't I wear sandals to church in the summer. Another instant is like when they told us we couldn't play basketball at church anymore and I was likek well why and I remember them distinctly being like why can you just listen when we tell you something, why do you always have to ask why. Like I swear I don't have a problem with authority, but it's just this need to know like well why, tell me why this is happening or why this can't happpen, why did you say this, why did you do this you know. So when ti comes to girls, and specifically girls that don't end up working out, the natural question is why, and the need for closure for me at least is like super high. And I've always been like that, whether it's girls who I saw and dated once or maybe saw and went on multiple dates with, if or when it didn't work out, there's always that need to be like well why. When my best friend didn't like me back, it's like well why and that bothered me growing up for the longest time cuz I just never got that closure. But as J'm getting older I'm kinda adopting the mentality and learning and reading a lot that well sometimes you don't always get that closure and you won't always get to know why and that's perfectly fine, you just keep moving forward. I dunno I'm always just so curious when say something doesn't work out with a girl, well why...like was it chemistry issues, something I did, something I said, someone else. But see all these things are also why I try to tell myself getting invested in things like dating apps are probably the worst thing for me cuz it's literally surface level (for the most part) and hardly ever do you really get to find out why things don't work out cuz people go ghost or just let you know it's not working out. Someone told me one time that you kinda have to go in with the mentality that she's probably talking to and seeing other people, which makes sense cuz I'm definitely doing the same thing too. But yeah sorry don't wanna tangent too much. I feel like I'm just starting to see closure as like a luxury, something that you aren't necessary owed but something that would be nice to have. Like at the end of the day, if I don't like someone, I don't really owe them an explanation as to why it didn't work or maybe there was no reason. That's kinda how I'm seeing things lately, where if say a girl goes ghost, or maybe things are going well then she suddenly uts it off, yeah it would be nice to know why and I probably would still ask...but they don't owe you anything, from my perspective like yeah it would be super dope and the respectful thing to do but not everyone sees it that way and that's perfectly fine. You don't always get closure and that's okay, you also shouldn't let it keep you from moving on and moving forward from whatever it is. The more I think about it now, the more I feel strongly that closure really is a luxury, asking why and getting a proper response as to why something doesn't work out or isn't working is always nice, but certainly isn't owed. That's just just something I've kinda had in my mind for some time, but was definitely triggered and brought to light recently lol and by recently like right now LOL. See y'all soon, peace.

The Ugly Truth

What it do y’all, hope you’re doing well, staying safe and staying sane. So I was thinking to myself the other day and I was like man, certain qualities in a person are just so unattractive that it actually decreases their physical attraction as well. The flip side to that is some people have such great and endearing qualities that it makes them look more physically attractive. Now I know what you’re thinking, bro this is common sense…and it is, but lemme paint you this picture. So I have this girl on social media that I was seeing for a short period of time and she loves taking selfies, I’m talking like posting pictures on all platforms, constantly changing profile pictures on all her socials, which is cool and all you do you boo boo. But for a split second, I was like oh damn she lookin’ good, she hella cute still. Then I kinda came back down to earth, thought about why it didn’t work out and her red flags and the qualities in her I didn’t really like and was like oh yeah, she cute but like not that cute if you know what I mean. I’m sure y’all have experienced both sides of the spectrum where you see someone really good looking but then they have qualities you don’t really like and they become less good looking, or you see someone unattractive to you but then find out something dope about them and they become more attractive. There’s like some quote where it says physical beauty is temporary but inner beauty lasts forever, something corny like that. But it really is true thoyou don’t chill with your friends because they’re good looking but because they’re dope and fun to be around. Similarly for me, I wanna find someone who has a dope personality, but obviously she still has to be physically attractive to some capacity cuz that’s just how it works, physical attraction and sexual attraction is still a thing lol. But it’s like a see saw right, some people are gonna value one side more than the other, someone might value physical attraction slightly more than personality, or vice versa and it all depends on who you ask. For me it was just a really random but powerful reminder that a whack ass personalty or like some serious red flags can make someone look really ugly. That’s all I gotta say lol see y’all soon, peace!

An Update On Life

Hey friends, I hope you\re doing well. I hope you're taking care of yourselves physically and more importantly mentally because this is certainly a mentally draining time that we're living in. If anyone knows me, you'll know I'm a sucker fpr 'deep talks' as me and my friends used to call it, personal and intimate conversations, talking about life. I feel like as of late I've been keeping a lot more things to myself, not because I want to but more of a feeling like people won't understand or won't really care lol. Like let's take me casually dating for example, I feel like that's something my friends who are married/engaged or are in serious relationships won't really get or won't really care lol so I just keep it to myself. I will say like lately I've been going on a lot of walks, mostly by myself but a lot of the times with friends and I love those conversations. Well lemme also say I love walks by myself cuz I feel better, I get to listen to music and just think about stuff or think about nothing lol. But yeah I dunno, you ever get asked how you're doing but you know the person doesn't really care so you kinda just give a half assed answer. Yeah I dunno, I'm super thankful for this platform to be able toe xpress myself and just talk to so called “somebody” when I feel like nobody is listening or like is available. And I don't just mean physically available lol, I also understand not everyone likes talking about feelings and personal shit, which is cool...but I definitely do lol. Yo you know what else is the worst...vague shit, like when you ask someone what they've been doing or how they've been and they give you super general or vague answer. Now I know it's a little different from when like someone is asking you and they don't really care so you give them a general answer versus someone who actually wants to know what's good and you short change them. So something else I've been thinking for myself especially is the amount of energy, time and thought I put into people that don't like me or people that don't matter rather than putting it into bettering and improving my current friendships and relationships or mending the ones that aren't doing so well you know. I dunno lol I'm very moody in case y'all didn't know lol...two different peoplec an try to start a conversation with me and based on who they are or even how I'm feeling at the time when they ask me will elicit a different response lol, I might be super short and simple with one and engaging and upbeat with another lol. I will say like sometimes it feels like my friends and I are on different wavelengths, maybe same life stage but like different goals or objectives. I don't really know how to illustrate it, it's like we're all running the race of life but we all or some of us take different paths and you might not see them for periods at a time but it's like oh we'll meet back up later in life you know. So what do you do in that gap period, well you find people who do match your current wavelength and vibe, so for me it's like single, dating around, figuring out life, finishing school, figuring out a career, that kinda stuff. So naturally I kinda am drawn to people or find myself vibing better with people going through similar things cuz they just get it you know. Like I've been going on walks with one of my boys and he's somebody that kinda just gets it, we'll look at each other when something is funny and just know what we're laughing at you know what I'm saying. We always talk about school, girls, life...and I love talking about that stuff so it just kinda flows naturally. And I guess that's kinda where I've been lately, just kinda going with the flow and finding the right vibe that fits. Cuz sometimes you'll be talking to someone about something and it just feels off, or it doesn't feel right. Like sometimes I'll throw a situation I'm going through at someone and it's not that their advice or what they're saying is bad, but it's like they have such a different outlook on life maybe because they're younger, haven't experienced much, were raised different or have different morals, you name it. Ometimes I'll just be talking to someone and be like damn, that's an...interesting way of looking/handling it lol. Yeah I dunno, tbh I was gonna scrap this post hallfway cuz I didn't like how it sounded and just feels all over the place. I've been in a weird funk lately so yeah if this post feels weird, I'm sorry...I'll see y'all soon, peace.