Hey friends, I hope you\re doing well. I hope you're taking care of yourselves physically and more importantly mentally because this is certainly a mentally draining time that we're living in. If anyone knows me, you'll know I'm a sucker fpr 'deep talks' as me and my friends used to call it, personal and intimate conversations, talking about life. I feel like as of late I've been keeping a lot more things to myself, not because I want to but more of a feeling like people won't understand or won't really care lol. Like let's take me casually dating for example, I feel like that's something my friends who are married/engaged or are in serious relationships won't really get or won't really care lol so I just keep it to myself. I will say like lately I've been going on a lot of walks, mostly by myself but a lot of the times with friends and I love those conversations. Well lemme also say I love walks by myself cuz I feel better, I get to listen to music and just think about stuff or think about nothing lol. But yeah I dunno, you ever get asked how you're doing but you know the person doesn't really care so you kinda just give a half assed answer. Yeah I dunno, I'm super thankful for this platform to be able toe xpress myself and just talk to so called “somebody” when I feel like nobody is listening or like is available. And I don't just mean physically available lol, I also understand not everyone likes talking about feelings and personal shit, which is cool...but I definitely do lol. Yo you know what else is the worst...vague shit, like when you ask someone what they've been doing or how they've been and they give you super general or vague answer. Now I know it's a little different from when like someone is asking you and they don't really care so you give them a general answer versus someone who actually wants to know what's good and you short change them. So something else I've been thinking for myself especially is the amount of energy, time and thought I put into people that don't like me or people that don't matter rather than putting it into bettering and improving my current friendships and relationships or mending the ones that aren't doing so well you know. I dunno lol I'm very moody in case y'all didn't know lol...two different peoplec an try to start a conversation with me and based on who they are or even how I'm feeling at the time when they ask me will elicit a different response lol, I might be super short and simple with one and engaging and upbeat with another lol. I will say like sometimes it feels like my friends and I are on different wavelengths, maybe same life stage but like different goals or objectives. I don't really know how to illustrate it, it's like we're all running the race of life but we all or some of us take different paths and you might not see them for periods at a time but it's like oh we'll meet back up later in life you know. So what do you do in that gap period, well you find people who do match your current wavelength and vibe, so for me it's like single, dating around, figuring out life, finishing school, figuring out a career, that kinda stuff. So naturally I kinda am drawn to people or find myself vibing better with people going through similar things cuz they just get it you know. Like I've been going on walks with one of my boys and he's somebody that kinda just gets it, we'll look at each other when something is funny and just know what we're laughing at you know what I'm saying. We always talk about school, girls, life...and I love talking about that stuff so it just kinda flows naturally. And I guess that's kinda where I've been lately, just kinda going with the flow and finding the right vibe that fits. Cuz sometimes you'll be talking to someone about something and it just feels off, or it doesn't feel right. Like sometimes I'll throw a situation I'm going through at someone and it's not that their advice or what they're saying is bad, but it's like they have such a different outlook on life maybe because they're younger, haven't experienced much, were raised different or have different morals, you name it. Ometimes I'll just be talking to someone and be like damn, that's an...interesting way of looking/handling it lol. Yeah I dunno, tbh I was gonna scrap this post hallfway cuz I didn't like how it sounded and just feels all over the place. I've been in a weird funk lately so yeah if this post feels weird, I'm sorry...I'll see y'all soon, peace.
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