My Second Tattoo

For those who are interested...here's kinda what led to me deciding on getting another tattoo. Getting another tattoo was always an idea that was brewing in my mind, but never really became something that I thought would actually happen until the end of summer ish. There's no significant reason or event that prompted this, but I will say it is just a bunch of things in my life building up to a certain point you know. One being how slow summer was...and it wasn't really until I went to Cuba and also went to the cottage that I got to really reflect on the summer. I was really asking God why I was feeling what I was feeling. Summer felt really slow in a sense I didn't have much to do, but fast in a sense that the days went by hella quick. It wasn't until I was really by myself with my own thoughts, no phone or anything, separated from the world that I was able to just sit, be still and LISTEN to God.  And it was nice...this summer...was a real desert period for me...in a dessert, there isn't much going on but sand...and during the summer, I didn't have much going on, but sand. The tattoo that I got was the chinese symbol for faith. I know it's very generic, but for me...it was a reminder...to trust God and have faith in every circumstance...in times of trial, in times of triumph...and even in times of silence and desert, to be still and to listen to God. Aside from that, it was just a reminder to put everything I've been holding onto and worrying about into God's hands...school, graduation, teacher's college, the future, my brother, girls, relationships, friends, everything. Faith that my brother will one day know God, faith that I'll find a beautiful woman to marry one day, faith that all this studying and schooling will pay off, faith that the people I've invested time, effort and love into will come through for me, faith in the genuine goodness of people, faith that as hard as this life gets...that everything will be okay. One thing I went back and forth with was the placement of my tattoo...and of course whether to get it or not. All I'll say is...what started out as an impulse decision became something that I felt I had to do for myself. Now onto the placement of the tattoo...I had a friend who has a tattoo on his forearm as well and he just wanted me to make sure that I was sure I wanted it in such a visible place. His thing was people will judge you no matter what, no matter what it says or what it means or what it represents...some people will see a tattoo and associate it negatively, He then brought up the fact that I want to be a teacher...he wants to be a teacher too and I remember we've had conversations about how he wanted to possibly get it removed. That conversation made me really thing...about my future...and how people may perceive me. But the more I thought about it, the more sure I became about wanting to get the tattoo and wanting to put it in my forearm. After discussing it with many people, praying about it and even researching about it on forums...I knew it was something I wanted to do and I was positive I wanted to have it done on my forearm. If you're managed to make it this far...then this is the part where I'm going to be very transparent with you guys...and talk about something that isn't really easy to talk about and something I've been pretty self conscious about all my life. This is kinda where I go into my zone where I imagine I'm writing to myself because it helps me write freely with no boundaries. I have eczema...which is a skin disease, but I hate the word disease cuz it just sounds terrible...skin condition let's just call it. I don't look like you, I look different. Ever since I was a kid...I've been treated differently, looked at differently, picked on, excluded. I've been on both sides on the spectrum, been the bully, been bullied. I've come to terms with it that I'm different...and I always will be different...but the difference between the old me and present me...is I'm okay with being different. I'm okay with parents, kids, peers, people in general...looking at me differently, whispering behind my back, talking about me, that's cool, that's me. I'll never be the pretty boy who gets all the girls...and that's perfectly fine with me. Any ways, before I tangent too far....back to the tattoo and my friend telling me that people would look at me differently and would I be ready for that because he said I didn't seem like the kinda guy who wont that stereotype put onto me. The more I thought about what he said and the tattoo...but more sure I was that I DID want that stereotype to be put on me...I want people to look at me and see that I'm different, because I am different. Whether they wanna look at my tattoo and assume I'm a bad kid...or look at my skin and think whatever of me...that's cool...I want that burden on me...I embrace it whole heartedly because that's who I am, I can't change that. But for the people who are willing to look past my tattoo, my skin, everything...those are the people I wanna put effort into...those are the people I wanna surround myself with...those are the people I wanna have in my life. To be honest I don't really know where I'm going any more with this...all I know is I've said what I've said and a tiny part of me is hesitant to post this, but a bigger part of me knows it's gotta be done. To end on an interesting note...the gears are already turning for my next tattoo LOOOOL...definitely not any time soon, but a couple of ideas have already popped into my head haha.