Ask The Audience #8: Memories

Hey friends, okay wow so I know it's been a while...and the  thought of posting has crossed my mind on numerous occasions, but I just kept procrastinating lol. Should've been a piece of cake considering this post just required a lot of copying and pasting then a bit of editing lol...but I apologize, got lost in time, lost in life lol. Hope you're still hanging in there during this time, things seem to be lightening up a tad bit, but still continue to stay safe and stay home of course...I've been going out a bit tbh, like very rarely...for runs and seeing like one or two friends for walks as well...which has been really nice...just to be outside and see friends again. But anyways, I'll catch y'all up next post...today's post is another installment of Ask The Audience, as per usual...all the previous ATA's will be linked below.

Ask The Audience #1: What Do You Look For In A Partner?

Ask The Audience #2: Red Flags

Ask The Audience #3: Best Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #4: Worst Dating ExperienceAsk The Audience #5: Best Advice
Ask The Audience #6: Failure, Rejection, Setback, Loss
Ask The Audience #7: Quarantine Thoughts

Obviously quarantine has been a time where a lot of people have had to cancel plans, vacations, miss out on events and such...so I wanted to take a stroll down memory lane and ask people about some of their favourite memories.

What is one of your all time favourite memories and why?


Guy #1: One of my fave memories of all time wasn’t anything big. It was just going out with one of my boys, and we were being complete dumbasses LOOL. I feel like when you can just be relaxed, not take things super seriously and just fuck around make some special moments
Girl #1: This is a hard one… recently, I got the chance to go to Hawaii with work with one of my best pals, although it was only for a day and a half, we had an absolute blast. Hawaii is so beautiful, and I can’t wait to go back. We drank, partied, ate, chilled on the beach, swam in the ocean. It was pretty mint. Especially when all off the expenses were covered. The hotel we got to stay at was in Waikiki and was a 2 minute walk from the beach, bars, and shops. Pretty darn convenient. Night life was a lot of fun too and like I said before I will definitely be going back. Basically, I’d say all my travels have been amazing memories, with my friends, partner, and coworkers. And yeah… cant wait to travel again… hopefully soon..

Guy #2: My favorite all time memory would probably be living in Korea for a year all on my own. Got to experience so many new things and travel
Girl #2: Odd but - being in the final 2 for a job opportunity in Amsterdam. I didn’t get the job (got another literally right after) but getting so far in the process was validation that I had value. I’ve always been affected by imposter syndrome and it’s been a long process to overcome it. Even though I didn’t get the job, something just clicked that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Guy #3: One of my favourite memories has to be when I went back to Hong Kong for the first time. It was memorable to me because I have never been and going back for the first time, seeing all the extended family, parents old friends, and just a whole new environment as a whole was very interesting. I was a little kid back then so I was just enjoying it as a fun vacation, but now that I think back on it, it is really interesting to see all the differences in living conditions, lifestyles, food, etc. I am really hoping to visit again in the near future!
Girl #3: One of my all time favourite memories was travelling around Europe with my immediate family, and meeting up with my cousins and uncles/aunts in Italy for my sister’s wedding. It was really cool to be able to travel to such beautiful places and experience that with family, while celebrating a huge milestone for my sister in a foreign place.

Guy #4: Going to the Sweetener World Tour after missing out her first three tours. I've spent an obscene amount and it was worth everything to me. Ari performed songs from her previous albums which I thought I would never get to hear live and it was amazing. Her voice is exactly the same as listening to the studio version and then it just gets insane when she does her adlibs and harmonies live.
Girl #4: Going to Disney world! Haha going to a totally different atmosphere than we’re used to back home. It’s exciting and makes me happy

Guy #5: One of my all time favourite memories is when I told my dad how i really felt about him and how he is my hero. I really didnt want to regret not being able to tell him because of the excuse of "just never got around to it"
Girl #5: I’d have to say my favourite memories is not one specific memory but rather a collection of them. When I was in high school, I would walk to and from school every single day lol. It was about 20 mins from my house, but rain or shine that didn’t stop me. What made it memorable was walking with my friends, one of whom is my best friend to this day. We would talk about just about everything but looking back I realize it was one of the happier times in my life because it felt really freeing. Not a care in the world about anything, just enjoying being high schoolers, and living each day in the present. That’s not something I really do much of these days, because I’m always worrying about or thinking about my next steps. Every day in those moments felt like an adventure, there was always something new to talk about, to laugh about, someone new to see as we walked on even though it was the exact same path every day. Definitely a time in my life that I’ll always remember and think back on because it seemed as though no matter what came my way or how bad of a day I was having, those walks made me forget everything and it felt like none of that small stuff really mattered.

Quarantine Birthday

Man, what a time eh...I turned 28 two days ago...geex, 28 doesn't sound as bad until you say yeah I'm two years away from 30 LOL...now that's scary. But yeah, such a weird time for everyone celebrating birthdays cuz it's like well what do you do you know. For me, it was kinda just a regular day, most days are regular days tbh, there's no difference between weekends or weekdays to me they just kinda blend together lol. But I mean the day wasn't completely wasted...gotta have dinner and celebrate with my parents, my friends showed up at my house at like 10 pm with a cake and we just chatted it up for an hour or so outside my house lol...social distancing at it's finest. Crazy to think about kids not having prom or like graduation or having to postpone it. Come September schools might not even have physical classes...which would lowkey be convenient but also really weird as well. Especially for like kids starting high school or university...what an experience that'll be lol. With that all being said and not being able to properly celebrate my birthday this year, I wanted to take a stroll down memory lane and look back on some fond birthday memories if you'll indulge me lol. I'm trying to think back to some of the best birthday gifts I've ever gotten...there was this Digimon board game that I think I still have somewhere which was sooo dope, there was also this Yu-Gi-Oh deck holder to put your cards on which was super dope...yeah I was a hella nerd back then, probs still am don't hate lol. Obviously money i always an appreciated gift, but I've always enjoyed the suspense and surprise of like opening a gift and wondering what it could be and the possible let down of it being a bad gift or the excitement of it being a dope gift LOL. If I had it my way, I'd keep it simple and old school every year and have friends come over with for some video games, basketball and hella snacks and food and when everyone leaves they get loot bags LOL...those were legit the best birthday parties. I remember once I got to like high school, since no one could drive, dinner and a movie was always the move cuz they were right beside each other lol...Kelsey's for dinner then FMP for a movie haha. Every year around my birthday I always get hit with the birthday blues lol...I dunno if anyone else gets that. It's a bit of everything...another year older, thinking about life and stuff, wondering who'll reach out to you and say happy birthday (cuz I used to sttress about that/take offense to that a lot), but now as I've gotten older, it is what it is and I much prefer a couple messages and in person greetings than like a bunch of random messages on facebook. One year the birthday blues hit me really hard cuz all my friends seemed to be busy so I didn't have anyone to chill with on my birthday. Then this one girl reached out to me who I hadn't spoken to in the longest time, she was hey happy birthday and we started talking and I was like yeah I don't have any plans and she was like what...let me take you out, so she picked me up and we grabbed starbucks and got to catch up, that same night this other boy I got close to that summer was like yo, my girl and I wanna take you out for dessert along with another friend....so my friend dropped me off at Demetres, she stayed for a bit and met my friends and then she left. It was a super dope and spontaneous night and one that I'll never forget cuz I was hella sad about spending my bday alone lol. This other time was a pretty funny surprise birthday. I had softball practice and one of my friends was like hey, we haven't chilled in a while let's catch up (it wasn't my actual birthday but a day before I think so I wasn't that suspicious, just thought he wanted to catch up) so I was like sure. My friend at softball was like oh hey can I come too so I can get a ride and I was like uh he kinda wants to catch up cuz we have some stuff to talk about, my boy was like nah it's cool. So my friend picks us both up and says let's go to McDonalds and grab food and catch up. I walk into mcdonalds and in the little kiddle corner are a bunch of my friends LOL...back in the day they'd always roast me for going to posting pics of mcdonalds everytime I went so they surprised me at mcdonalds with like 100 nuggets and a bunch of fries LOL, it was pretty jokes. On that note, it's been super fun for me being able to look back and reminisce on past birthdays but it's over now...my hope and wish is that we can end this year off better than it started and push through this stuff. As much as I like to and enjoy seeing both sides of things, I've come to realize I really am a glass half full kinda guy...just gotta take what life gives you and make the best of it, so till next time...PEACE.

Let's Just Talk

So I know it's been a week since I've posted...but it certainly doesn't feel like it, I've lost all track of time tbh lol, some days time feels like it's moving hella fast, some days it feels hella slow. Case in point, March felt like 4 years, April flew by in what felt like a few days. I thought today was Sunday for some reason LOL...I've been sleeping at like 2-3 am, waking up at like 1-2 pm pretty consistently. It's weird like Mother's Day just passed, my brother's bday just passed and mine is coming up...but definitely doesn't feel like anything worth celebrating considering everyday just kinda feels the same. Feel like the consensus towards quarantine is that it has it's good and bad days...sure some people are loving it, but some people hate it...I'd say most people fall in between. On my good days, being at home is awesome, watching shows, eating snacks, playing games with the homies. On my bad days, I'm so bored, I got nothing to do, I just wanna go outside and sit at a bubble tea shop or walk around the mall. I dunno about you, but for me like there's certainly thoughts of wanting to be producive, but I'm lazy at the same time lol. I've been cleaning my room and the living room for like weeks LOL...only cuz I clean it when I'm in the mood and feeling productive, but kudos to people using their time productively...baking, reading, learning new skills, hobbies, whatever. One kinda nice thing is I've been able to discover a lottt of super dope music and also catch up and binge a bunch of dope shows...but that's also a negative as well cuz I don't even wanna know how much time I've spent laying on my ass and staring at a screen. I was listening ot Timothy DelaGhetto's podcast and he was like yo being in quarantine is dope cuz he gets to spend so much time with his wife just chilling and doing randoms stuff. Then he asked his boy Rick what it's like for him and his girl who don't live together and he was like it's hard because when you talk on the phone or facetime it's kinda like oh so how was your day even tho you know it's literally the same as yesterday and in that sense conversation kinda feels forced. I def felt that a bit lol esp when you talk to random girls or girls on like datingg apps for example...it's like so uh...how's quarantine LOL. Talking to my friends who are in relationships, whether like early stage or later stage...it certainly brings it's own dilemmas, but you def have to be creative...skype, facetime dates, playig board games online, netflix party or whatever. I've always talked to a few friends who live with their significant others who are like yo they're lowkey getting on my nerves LOOOL. I'm tryna think what else has been going on in my household during quarantine...my mom's one of those ppl who got really into baking LOL...cakes, pudding, cookies, you name it...my dad has been cleaning everything in sight. You know what's really funny and convenient, all my guy friends are like yoooo man I need a haircut soooo bad, I miss my barber, or they'll get their girlfriends to cut their hair and it turns out really bad but better than nothing...since I've been growing my hair, I don't have to worry about that at all LOL. I checked and my last haircut was January 2019, so it's been a little over a year now...I think I dyed my hair in like October 2019 and it's cool to see how fast my hair grows because of the blonde. Another dope thing is obviously the amount of money I'm saving because of quarantine, but that doesn't mean it doesn't come with enormous temptations, I've been online window shopping A LOT...and I always have to stop myself or be like is that a smart purchase?? Like anyone else, facetiming and playeing games online with my friends has definitely been keeping me sane cuz it's pretty much the only human contact I get aside from my parents. It'\s just a weird and “unprecedented” time, that seems to be the word during quarantine eh...unprecedented lol. I can't even imagine what “normal” life will be like after quarantine is over...how paranoid people will still be and how everyone will be wearing masks for the foreseeable future and stuff...lemme just brb and hibernate till 2021 lol...anyways, don't really have much else to say so uh...PEACE.

Ask The Audience #7: Quarantine Thoughts

Hey y'all, so I'm thinking of ending the ATA's at #10 just cuz it's a good number to end it at, I don't wanna drag it on for too long and it's getting harder and harder to ask people to answer questions lol I ain't got that many friends. So as usual, all the previous ATA's will be linked below.

Ask The Audience #1: What Do You Look For In A Partner?

Ask The Audience #2: Red Flags

Ask The Audience #3: Best Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #4: Worst Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #5: Best Advice
Ask The Audience #6: Failure, Rejection, Setback, Loss

So for today's question, I simply asked people how they're doing during this quarantine period, specifically I asked: 

How're you doing physically/mentally during quarantine? What have you been doing? What's your situation like (living alone, w/ family) and how is it? What do you miss most about regular life? Final thoughts, concerns or encouragements.

Guy #1: I’ve been doing good! I’m living alone, but I’m often surrounded by family, which is really important and has helped me coped with the whole situation. I think I miss the little things the most that I used to take granted. From just seeing friends, or grabbing meals with them to just being able to go out.
Girl #1: Physically: garbage. I walk everyday with the dogs but its honestly not enough. I miss going to the gym. I know could be doing at home workouts, but I am so unmotivated to do so. Mentally I think we are all having our highs and lows. Some days I am like this is the best, I love being home with the dogs and chilling all day, and other days I struggle to get out of bed and find myself sleeping for 16 hours. Keeping up with the homies on facetime really helps too. Chatting to pals and checking in on everyone makes me feel sane again, it is the in-between time where I feel like my brain starts to wither away. I am trying to keep myself mentally stimulated by doing puzzles, sudoku, reading, researching etc. Other than the puzzles I have been playing A LOT of animal crossing and the Sims. I have been watching way too much trash reality television (Love Island) and painting my nails too often. Recently gotten into borrowing ebooks from the library so I’ve also been reading up a storm like I mentioned. I’m not a ‘project’ person and I don’t usually tackle on making big changes or what ever so… its been pretty chill. As for the research I’ve just been reading articles on topics that fascinate me or that are practical… right now I’m learning how to do my taxes… because I need to do my taxes. I am currently living with my SO and their mom, they both still go into work so its just me at home with the dogs but its going well. I feel like if I had to social distance with my SO I would be so done. Having them around has really made this process easier. I seriously miss seeing my friends, getting drinks, getting bubble tea, going for lunches or dinners, going to the dog park and seeing all the other doggies. But the thing I miss absolutely most about my regular life and the thing that I took for granted was how often I got to travel. I miss having adventures with my bestie all over the world, trying new food and seeing new places. Being stuck in the GTA is such a bummer when I want to go see so many different places. I am hoping when all this is over… if it ever ends… I will have the same opportunity as I did before. But, I guess we got to stay positive and hope that regular life will return, even if I don’t get to travel as far or as often just seeing some homies will be worth.

Guy #2: Physically, I Feel like i sleep really late and its affecting my eating habits, I havent really exercised so I know im definitely out of shape. I live with my family and I have been able to spend more time with my parents so its a good thing! ive missed spending time with my friends, playing sports and watching sports. Ive come to realize that ive taken a lot of things for granted with times were normal such as going out to eat. I think the most concerning part of this is my business and how it will be affecting through this.
Girl #2: Physically - doing my own workouts at home, feel more committed because there’s literally nothing else to do.
Mentally - actually fine, I chat to friends via FaceTime or houseparty, more aware of how I spend my time, actually realise I do have time to write my novel or workout.
I live with fam it’s fine, everyone gives each other space. Really took for granted catching up with people - making plans to catch up and not following through on some, going to change that after quarantine hoho. I miss brunch catchups and tea with friends.
Final thoughts - stay home, save lives and flatten the curve. Don’t be a prick and ruin it for everyone. 

Guy #3: It’s mentally draining at home, starting to feel cabin fever. I’m working from home and playing video game/working out.!Living with family and it's great. Would probably go insane if I was by myself. What I miss most is interacting with those people you see regularly but not like text each other tight like regular gym mates.
Girl #3: I miss seeing my friends and going out to eat and having fun with them, but quarantine has actually been pretty nice (despite the difficulties covid has brought upon the world). I’m usually always out with friends or playing frisbee, and I never had time to spend with my family. I currently live with them, so it’s been nice to finally be able to spend that lost time with them. Quarantine also allowed me to focus more on my studies, and devote more time to preparing for finals. My goal these days have been to cook/bake and read more! All in all, it’s been a nice, much-needed pause on life for me and a humbling experience; and my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by the virus.

Guy #4: I didn't think much of quarantine in the beginning because I work from home. I don't physically interact with people as much as I used to before so the idea of staying inside the house was pretty okay. As it progressed, it did break me a little. Not being able to go out and see my significant other or my friends is... insane. It really shows that we do need physical interaction with others. I miss going out for a drive so bad (good thing is I haven't paid for gas in WEEKS!) and getting really good food. Diet was trash in the beginning so I started working out again. Family is doing fine, we go out only to get groceries and then Lysol spray and wipe everything once we're back home. Being Asian and living in an area where it's Caucasian dominant has never been a real issue until now. I've never gotten so many weird stares and it's getting annoying. Currently, I would say 80% of the people around me are following the rules; the other 20% think they're invincible and I'd like for them to stay the hell away from me.
Girl #4: I’m a home body so I enjoy the time now. Luckily I live with multiple people so I haven’t gotten bored yet, doing lots of puzzles, playing video games and working. I miss sitting at a bbt shop with friends (lol so Asian). It’s scary to think about what’s happening right now especially considering so many people are still not taking it as seriously as they should. 

Guy #5: Overall I feel more or less the same. I do find myself sometimes less motivated to do things knowing I can't go out or see my friends. But I've been trying to find things to do and pick up new hobbies like skating. I live with my mom and dad and its pretty good. Spending more time together has its positives, but also negatives because I find myself getting irritated more. I definitely miss seeing my friends, especially now during the summer when its the prime season to meet up with friends and play softball. I'm just hoping everyone stays safe and that this quarantine is over soon! All the best
Girl #5: Honestly speaking, it’s been sort of a cycle between having good days and not so good days during quarantine. Physically I’ve been doing good and my family, so definitely thankful for that. Mentally, it’s been a day by day thing. I probably speak for many when I say it’s a difficult time to be physically away from friends, family, co-workers, and the many other people we interact with on a day-to-day basis. But I’ve been trying to think of the glass as half full I suppose. Been taking the time to do a lot of thinking. Just reflecting on this past year, past experiences, the people I’ve met and come to known, and my plans for the future. Also been getting back to doing some reading which I used to do a lot of, so it’s been good to kind of push reset for the time being. The one thing I miss the most is simply being able to enjoy being outside, and plan meet ups with my friends and do new things. I think the most unnerving thing about this entire quarantine and pandemic is the unknown, like not knowing what tomorrow brings in terms of things getting back to “normal” and the uncertainty of jobs, school, travel, etc. It’s normal to feel stressed and maybe even anxious about any of those things, but as frustrating as things are, keep in touch with the people you care about the most because a simple “hey, how are you doing” goes a long way.

Don't Forget Your Friends

Hey friends, so I feel like it's been a while since we've spoken for some reason...feel like a part of that is because a lot of my time and attention has been focused on the 'Ask The Audience' posts lol. They definitely feel very time consuming even tho I know they're not ALL that time consuming. But it is a bit of work for one thinking of interesting questions that I think people would wanna read, that I would be interested in and that people would be cool answering as well. There's the action of reaching out and asking people if they'd be down to answer those questions for me lol. I also tried to make it a thing to not ask or not just ask my friends because that'd be too easy and I already know a lot about them and their life. In that sense, I wanted to challenge myself to reach out to new and different people, which was a challenge in itself cuz it'd be too weird to ask someone completely random that I never talk to, so I tried finding people that I don't necessarily talk to on a daily basis, but am comfortable enough to engage them and see if they'd be down to help. It's lowkey a strategy lol cuz you also don't wanna ask people you think will say no...but Rodmond, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, yada yada yada shut up LOL. And I guess a lowkey big part of it is that I try to ask people who I think have interesting things to share...and I really mean that, even with the guest posts as well...I reach out to people I think have really cool and interesting things and stories to share. On that note, wow I didn't expect that tangent to go that long lol moving on...since we're all in quarantine and we all have nothing but time...I think it's important to reach out to your friends, peers, acquaintances, coworkers, whatever...just to see how they're doing, make sure they're okay, let them know you're there for them if they need to talk to somebody, etc. It could just be a check up, a friendly encouragement, whatever...I think about people's circumstances as well...perhaps a person is living alone, maybe they don't get along with their family...all that stuff, it's important to know that in a time like this, you're not alone. Now of course, I do wanna emphasize to make sure that you're taking care of yourself as well...both physically and mentally, getting some fresh air, exercising, stimulating your mind as well whether reading or doing puzzles or whatever, self care is extremely important. So I received check ups from my old pastor...my old teacher and of course friends and stuff. It's important to do so...especially if you're in a situation where you like have people around you whether family, roommates, significant other to reach out to those who don't share that same situation. Or even if they do...just say hi, ask them how they're doing physically and mentally...cuz it can be a draining time in both areas. So yeah, that's just my two cents for y'all, hopefully it encourages you reach out to others or maybe it encourages you to share and open up to someone what you're going through. With that all being said, I'll catch you on the flip side...DEUCES.

Ask The Audience #6: Failure, Rejection, Setback, Loss

Hey friends, you guys are really really enjoying this series and that makes me really happy because it's something so different and refreshing, for me it's such an interesting read because I've been trying to reaxh out to people outside of my close circle of friends. A HUGE thank you to everyone who's helped me out by answering these questions, especially the ones that require a lot of honesty and openness because that's never easy, especially when it comes to people's personal lives, so thank you all for that and I appreciate y'all. As usual, links for the previous ATA's will be below.

Ask The Audience #1: What Do You Look For In A Partner?

Ask The Audience #2: Red Flags

Ask The Audience #3: Best Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #4: Worst Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #5: Best Advice

Today\s question is a little heavy and the responses are equally as personal, deep and emotionally moving/inspiring...a big thank you to y'all specificcally for answering this question the ways that you did.

What's a time you experienced failure, rejecction, setback or loss? How did it feel and what did you do to deal with it?

Guy #1: When I lost my dad, it was a difficult time man. When it initially happened it just didn't feel real and I still couldn't really process it. Then when some time passed, whenever I'm alone in my bed or taking the bus or walking somewhere alone, I'd think of him and all the things he would say or used to do..I think that was a difficult part dealing with someone passing away. I guess the way I dealt with it was just trying to keep myself busy and talk to ppl. Also, just remembering all the good times and life lessons he had taught me.
Girl #1: A major setback I experienced in my life was 1.5 years ago when my college went on strike. I decided to drop out after 1 month of no classes. However, the setback was not the strike, it was what happened to me after the strike. After the strike I had alot of free time so I followed my sister to do some volunteer work. I went downtown with my sister to feed the homeless Downtown. When I got home that night I couldn't stop crying. For those who know me quite well, they know that I've been sheltered for most of my life. That experience must have struck a cord in me because I started hallucinating for weeks afterwards. By hallucination, I mean visual, auditory and tactical; I was completely disconnected from reality. It was the strangest and most terrifying thing I had ever experienced in my entire life; and it went on for months. I didnt seek help immediately because my mom did not believe in western medical treatments. I was even working at my new job with kids during this time, which is VERY dangerous. Eventually my sister called the cops and my boyfriend brought me to the hospital without my parents consent. I was diagnosed with early psychosis and was taken to the psychiatric ward for a week. remember leaving the ward on my birthday. At home I had to be under supervision for 24/hrs a day, and was prescribed many different kind of medications. What followed afterwards was another 16 weeks of therapy. I was not able to go anywhere but the hospital for half a year. I wanted to give up on my life so many times because I felt absolutely hopeless. What helped me to overcome this experience was a strong support system. I had my mom that stopped working to be with me, my dad to drive me to therapy 5 days a week, my boyfriend/sisters that would check up on my every now and then, many supportive doctors at hospital and believe it or not, music. Now that I look back, it just seems like one big nightmare, but it's made me more aware of mental health in today's society. Its definitely just as important as physical health, and I hope everyone can see that one day.

Guy #2: A setback that I faced in life was going to jail, it was not only a financial setback but also a mental one. I was nervous of all the outcomes of potentially having a criminal record, of actually being in jail for a few years, and all the other negative drawbacks of being convicted. Luckily I did get out of it, but it cost me a lot of money that I’m paying off until today. The way I deal with it though is that I stay optimistic and positive by thinking about how fortunate I am for so many other things in life. If you are grateful for what you have, then you never become greedy and lose what you have just to get more. Life’s not always about chasing, but it’s also about stopping and appreciating the view every once in a while. I take life one day at a time and enjoy each day as much as I can.
Girl #2: My set back was during grade 12 when I was applying to colleges! I applied for a vet tech program because I love animals but I am not the greatest at science or math and you have to do a test to get in. I failed my math one so I couldn’t get in. This really set me back because all the courses I took in high school was to specifically get me into a vet tech program. As I failed I had to tell my parents because they drove me to the test centres which were very far away. So I stayed back an extra semester at my high school and had to rethink what else I am really passionate about besides animals. So I decided to do Social service work at Seneca and I didn’t really finish the program I have two courses left to finish off which I am doing this summer. But once I get the diploma I have hit another brick wall. I am not as passionate for social work as I thought I would be. So after the diploma I really have to think what else do I like or maybe school just isn’t for me. It feels disappointing to have failed but I take it as a learning experience and that’s how I copped with it. At the same time I can explore other things that I might be interested in.

Guy #3: I still remember the times I failed finding a job in grade 12. At that age, I had no money. My parents would give me $20 a week for lunch on days they didn’t make food but that was it. You see other kids driving cars to school, buying food every day, getting snacks from the cafeteria, buying new clothes every week, having the latest pair of shoes. At that age, I wanted that. It was less about fitting in and more about being able to buy what I want without relying on my parents. With that said, I applied to a few jobs at community centres, summer camps, and retail stores. This was all a new experience for me. I didn’t know how to properly write a resume but I made one. I had to walk into stores and awkwardly ask if I can pass my resume to store managers. They would take it but I never had the confidence to believe they were interested. I then waited for calls back, hoping to get one or two. A few weeks pass by and nothing. I repeated the entire process for a month and still made zero progress. At that age, it does feel discouraging and affected my self-confidence. What did I do as a result? I basically gave up and believed I was not getting a job then. I spent my free time just playing video games or basketball outside. Looking back, I don’t regret that I didn’t have a job. I regret the mindset I had of giving up. I wish I approached people for help to finding a job. Today’s me, would never do that. I would ask for help if I need it. I learned over the years that people have connections. Your friend might know a friend who is hiring for a specific role that you have interest in. The world definitely works that way.
Girl #3: After University, I started working at a Fortune 1 Company in a New Graduate Rotational Program. When the program finished two years later, we had to apply internally for a permanent role. I applied to a handful of jobs but I didn’t get any of them - the most frustrating part was that I kept being told that it was because my years of experience. It wasn’t my work ethic. It wasn’t my intelligence. It wasn’t my attitude. Yet, it felt like it was. It didn’t matter that my peers and I were hearing the same reason - it still felt personal and terrible like I wasn’t good enough. There were days and weeks that I was so demotivated and completely checked out at work. I didn’t want to be there but I didn’t really have a choice. So, I dealt with it by pushing though because that was really all that I could do. Fast forward a couple of months and I found a great role in the exact department that I wanted, with what I can say is honestly the best team in the entire company. So, in hindsight, it all worked out how it was supposed to - if only I could’ve seen and believed that during all of the rejection!

Guy #4: About a year ago, I was given an opportunity that I have been waiting for a long time. During that time, I had a lot to deal with in my life and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this opportunity. Long story short, I hesitated and procrastinated, and the opportunity was gone by the time I took action. I definitely felt vert upset at myself and wished that I could have a second chance. To this day, I haven’t received a second chance and I am not even sure if this will every come by again. However, I think there are two things that I learned: 1) Similar to the advice above, always keep working and be prepared when your opportunity do arrive and 2) What’s meant to be yours will always find its way.
Girl #4: I guess when I got cheated on was a pretty bad experience?? I’ve been lucky enough to have a good childhood and get every job I applied to lol I’ve never been rejected by a guy either bc I never gain interest in a guy unless he asks me out so uhh yeah that was bad experience because I felt burdened by having to explain to people that we weren’t together. I think it’s a little messed up.. but I did see it coming so I was sad and I just stopped eating for a bit since I was stressed out. I just let myself go through the hurt and sadness and luckily had a lot of supportive friends with me to help me move past all the heartache. I think I didn’t fully deal with it for a while since I wanted to pretend everything was fine but day by day I accepted it for what it was and learned a lot from it

Girl #5: Rejection is definitely one of the toughest and most painful experiences for all humans. I had been seeing someone for a few months, and I thought it was going well, but one day (pretty much out of the blue), I got a message from him that he wanted to stop seeing each other. It hurt like heck even though we weren’t dating seriously, or even exclusively. It had probably hurt more since there wasn’t an obvious reason for him to want to stop seeing me like an argument or that he had met someone else, so it felt more personal and like there was something wrong with me. I kept overthinking things and raking over our time together in my mind about what I might have said or done wrong. It took weeks (maybe months) to accept that there didn’t have to be something wrong with me or him for things to not work out. Sometimes people only exist in your life for certain chapters. There wasn’t anything I could do to make myself feel better or get over it right away, but like the saying goes, time heals all wounds, and that’s what I needed to move on.

Girl #6: Throughout my life I never really experienced failure or setbacks. Things always seemed to fall into place exactly how I wanted. I got into my top university choice and even landed the job of my dreams right out of school. Once I started my first job I quickly realized that (unfortunately) this phase of my life was over. If I wanted to continue to be successful in my life and career I needed to take matters into my own hands. What really opened my eyes to this was my first promotion. I had been working my ass off and doing the job of someone 1-2 levels above me for 2+ years but wasn't getting considered for a promotion. I assumed if people around me thought I deserved a promotion I would just magically get one (this is called "the tiara syndrome" and women go through it all the time). When I finally had enough, I started to apply for jobs as I thought my time was done at my current company. I figured since I was anyways planning to leave I would be open with my manager and let her how I was feeling. I told her that I was way overdue for a promotion and guess what? That one conversation led me to getting a promotion a few weeks later. Imagine if I had that conversation a year earlier? Where would I be now? Although a small setback, it taught me that I need to speak up to get what I want and things don't just happen in the real world. People can't read your mind and only you know what you want and how you are feeling. Although speaking up and expressing how you feel can be super tough for certain people (especially me), I now know that if I don't speak up, it's only going to result in failure. Do you have too much work on your plate? Tell somebody. Is someone taking credit for your work? Let them know how you feel. Do you want a promotion? You have to ask for it! Remember, nothing in life is ever just given, it’s earned.

Intuition

I feel like I've always been somebody who's very emotionally driven, I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and my decisions are often guided by my heart and that gut feeling that you have. I think it's both my greatest strength and weakness sometimes, don't get me wrong that doesn't mean I don't think logically but I think especially when it comes to decisions regarding like very personal things like friends or relationships...I'm guided by my heart, which is both a pro and a con. It's funny cuz I always ask my friends or advice or opinions on these matters, but it's one of those things where I feel like I've already made up my mind on what I'm going to do...and I'm kinda just asking for reassurance or maybe to see other possible options. It's funny cuz I had all these notes/points on my phone about this topic but I just feel like going with the flow right now and just writing what comes to mind. Shoutout to dingus for this one because I truly appreciate you more than I can ever really put into words. I was/have been talking to this girl and obviously there's that period of like 'feeling out' and back and forth texting and there was a point where I was kinda frustrated cuz I wasn't sure where it was going or really what I was doing. I was talking to a friend and I asked her what she think I should do...like continuing \playing the game' or just be honest and straight forwarrd. And she was like yeah you can play the game but it'll just be more back and forth and you'll get more annoyed. If you're straight up and you just speak from the heart, it is what it is and if it's not reciprocated you're done and you move on. She went on to say like, that's who you are...go with your heart and just be honest with her. So I did...cuz sometimes I feel like I try to fight that initial 'gut feeling'...cuz it leaves me vulnerable, which again...can be seen as a good or bad thing, and is something I consider my greatest strength adn weakness. Being vulnerable in this case is scary cuz it leaves me open to be hurt, which never feels good. But anyways, going back to my point...it's just who I am and who I've grown to be...somebody who just speaks from the heart, I think it helps me be really genuine and relatable...at least that's what people told me they think of me, which I really appreciate it. So yeah, I mean again, I'm someone who's guided by my heart a lot of the times...depending on how you look at it, it can be really good or really bad...there's not much room for in between...when things don't work out, it sucks, it hurts and you regret pouring your heart out...but when your openness and honesty is reciprocated and appreciated, it can be such an amazing feeling. I guess that kinda explains how I'm hella moody sometimes, or at least I hear that from my friends lol...either super hot or super cold...there's no in between lol. But yeah, it's funny cuz I had planned on going a certain direction with this post and kinda just ran with what I was feeling and went in a completely different direction lol...see y'all soon, peace.