Ask The Audience #3: Best Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #4: Worst Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #5: Best Advice
Today\s question is a little heavy and the responses are equally as personal, deep and emotionally moving/inspiring...a big thank you to y'all specificcally for answering this question the ways that you did.
What's a time you experienced failure, rejecction, setback or loss? How did it feel and what did you do to deal with it?
Guy #1: When I lost my dad, it was a difficult time man. When it initially happened it just didn't feel real and I still couldn't really process it. Then when some time passed, whenever I'm alone in my bed or taking the bus or walking somewhere alone, I'd think of him and all the things he would say or used to do..I think that was a difficult part dealing with someone passing away. I guess the way I dealt with it was just trying to keep myself busy and talk to ppl. Also, just remembering all the good times and life lessons he had taught me.
Girl #1: A major setback I experienced in my life was 1.5 years ago when my college went on strike. I decided to drop out after 1 month of no classes. However, the setback was not the strike, it was what happened to me after the strike. After the strike I had alot of free time so I followed my sister to do some volunteer work. I went downtown with my sister to feed the homeless Downtown. When I got home that night I couldn't stop crying. For those who know me quite well, they know that I've been sheltered for most of my life. That experience must have struck a cord in me because I started hallucinating for weeks afterwards. By hallucination, I mean visual, auditory and tactical; I was completely disconnected from reality. It was the strangest and most terrifying thing I had ever experienced in my entire life; and it went on for months. I didnt seek help immediately because my mom did not believe in western medical treatments. I was even working at my new job with kids during this time, which is VERY dangerous. Eventually my sister called the cops and my boyfriend brought me to the hospital without my parents consent. I was diagnosed with early psychosis and was taken to the psychiatric ward for a week. remember leaving the ward on my birthday. At home I had to be under supervision for 24/hrs a day, and was prescribed many different kind of medications. What followed afterwards was another 16 weeks of therapy. I was not able to go anywhere but the hospital for half a year. I wanted to give up on my life so many times because I felt absolutely hopeless. What helped me to overcome this experience was a strong support system. I had my mom that stopped working to be with me, my dad to drive me to therapy 5 days a week, my boyfriend/sisters that would check up on my every now and then, many supportive doctors at hospital and believe it or not, music. Now that I look back, it just seems like one big nightmare, but it's made me more aware of mental health in today's society. Its definitely just as important as physical health, and I hope everyone can see that one day.
Guy #2: A setback that I faced in life was going to jail, it was not only a financial setback but also a mental one. I was nervous of all the outcomes of potentially having a criminal record, of actually being in jail for a few years, and all the other negative drawbacks of being convicted. Luckily I did get out of it, but it cost me a lot of money that I’m paying off until today. The way I deal with it though is that I stay optimistic and positive by thinking about how fortunate I am for so many other things in life. If you are grateful for what you have, then you never become greedy and lose what you have just to get more. Life’s not always about chasing, but it’s also about stopping and appreciating the view every once in a while. I take life one day at a time and enjoy each day as much as I can.
Girl #2: My set back was during grade 12 when I was applying to colleges! I applied for a vet tech program because I love animals but I am not the greatest at science or math and you have to do a test to get in. I failed my math one so I couldn’t get in. This really set me back because all the courses I took in high school was to specifically get me into a vet tech program. As I failed I had to tell my parents because they drove me to the test centres which were very far away. So I stayed back an extra semester at my high school and had to rethink what else I am really passionate about besides animals. So I decided to do Social service work at Seneca and I didn’t really finish the program I have two courses left to finish off which I am doing this summer. But once I get the diploma I have hit another brick wall. I am not as passionate for social work as I thought I would be. So after the diploma I really have to think what else do I like or maybe school just isn’t for me. It feels disappointing to have failed but I take it as a learning experience and that’s how I copped with it. At the same time I can explore other things that I might be interested in.
Guy #3: I still remember the times I failed finding a job in grade 12. At that age, I had no money. My parents would give me $20 a week for lunch on days they didn’t make food but that was it. You see other kids driving cars to school, buying food every day, getting snacks from the cafeteria, buying new clothes every week, having the latest pair of shoes. At that age, I wanted that. It was less about fitting in and more about being able to buy what I want without relying on my parents. With that said, I applied to a few jobs at community centres, summer camps, and retail stores. This was all a new experience for me. I didn’t know how to properly write a resume but I made one. I had to walk into stores and awkwardly ask if I can pass my resume to store managers. They would take it but I never had the confidence to believe they were interested. I then waited for calls back, hoping to get one or two. A few weeks pass by and nothing. I repeated the entire process for a month and still made zero progress. At that age, it does feel discouraging and affected my self-confidence. What did I do as a result? I basically gave up and believed I was not getting a job then. I spent my free time just playing video games or basketball outside. Looking back, I don’t regret that I didn’t have a job. I regret the mindset I had of giving up. I wish I approached people for help to finding a job. Today’s me, would never do that. I would ask for help if I need it. I learned over the years that people have connections. Your friend might know a friend who is hiring for a specific role that you have interest in. The world definitely works that way.
Girl #3: After University, I started working at a Fortune 1 Company in a New Graduate Rotational Program. When the program finished two years later, we had to apply internally for a permanent role. I applied to a handful of jobs but I didn’t get any of them - the most frustrating part was that I kept being told that it was because my years of experience. It wasn’t my work ethic. It wasn’t my intelligence. It wasn’t my attitude. Yet, it felt like it was. It didn’t matter that my peers and I were hearing the same reason - it still felt personal and terrible like I wasn’t good enough. There were days and weeks that I was so demotivated and completely checked out at work. I didn’t want to be there but I didn’t really have a choice. So, I dealt with it by pushing though because that was really all that I could do. Fast forward a couple of months and I found a great role in the exact department that I wanted, with what I can say is honestly the best team in the entire company. So, in hindsight, it all worked out how it was supposed to - if only I could’ve seen and believed that during all of the rejection!
Guy #4: About a year ago, I was given an opportunity that I have been waiting for a long time. During that time, I had a lot to deal with in my life and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this opportunity. Long story short, I hesitated and procrastinated, and the opportunity was gone by the time I took action. I definitely felt vert upset at myself and wished that I could have a second chance. To this day, I haven’t received a second chance and I am not even sure if this will every come by again. However, I think there are two things that I learned: 1) Similar to the advice above, always keep working and be prepared when your opportunity do arrive and 2) What’s meant to be yours will always find its way.
Girl #4: I guess when I got cheated on was a pretty bad experience?? I’ve been lucky enough to have a good childhood and get every job I applied to lol I’ve never been rejected by a guy either bc I never gain interest in a guy unless he asks me out so uhh yeah that was bad experience because I felt burdened by having to explain to people that we weren’t together. I think it’s a little messed up.. but I did see it coming so I was sad and I just stopped eating for a bit since I was stressed out. I just let myself go through the hurt and sadness and luckily had a lot of supportive friends with me to help me move past all the heartache. I think I didn’t fully deal with it for a while since I wanted to pretend everything was fine but day by day I accepted it for what it was and learned a lot from it
Girl #5: Rejection is definitely one of the toughest and most painful experiences for all humans. I had been seeing someone for a few months, and I thought it was going well, but one day (pretty much out of the blue), I got a message from him that he wanted to stop seeing each other. It hurt like heck even though we weren’t dating seriously, or even exclusively. It had probably hurt more since there wasn’t an obvious reason for him to want to stop seeing me like an argument or that he had met someone else, so it felt more personal and like there was something wrong with me. I kept overthinking things and raking over our time together in my mind about what I might have said or done wrong. It took weeks (maybe months) to accept that there didn’t have to be something wrong with me or him for things to not work out. Sometimes people only exist in your life for certain chapters. There wasn’t anything I could do to make myself feel better or get over it right away, but like the saying goes, time heals all wounds, and that’s what I needed to move on.
Girl #6: Throughout my life I never really experienced failure or setbacks. Things always seemed to fall into place exactly how I wanted. I got into my top university choice and even landed the job of my dreams right out of school. Once I started my first job I quickly realized that (unfortunately) this phase of my life was over. If I wanted to continue to be successful in my life and career I needed to take matters into my own hands. What really opened my eyes to this was my first promotion. I had been working my ass off and doing the job of someone 1-2 levels above me for 2+ years but wasn't getting considered for a promotion. I assumed if people around me thought I deserved a promotion I would just magically get one (this is called "the tiara syndrome" and women go through it all the time). When I finally had enough, I started to apply for jobs as I thought my time was done at my current company. I figured since I was anyways planning to leave I would be open with my manager and let her how I was feeling. I told her that I was way overdue for a promotion and guess what? That one conversation led me to getting a promotion a few weeks later. Imagine if I had that conversation a year earlier? Where would I be now? Although a small setback, it taught me that I need to speak up to get what I want and things don't just happen in the real world. People can't read your mind and only you know what you want and how you are feeling. Although speaking up and expressing how you feel can be super tough for certain people (especially me), I now know that if I don't speak up, it's only going to result in failure. Do you have too much work on your plate? Tell somebody. Is someone taking credit for your work? Let them know how you feel. Do you want a promotion? You have to ask for it! Remember, nothing in life is ever just given, it’s earned.
Guy #1: When I lost my dad, it was a difficult time man. When it initially happened it just didn't feel real and I still couldn't really process it. Then when some time passed, whenever I'm alone in my bed or taking the bus or walking somewhere alone, I'd think of him and all the things he would say or used to do..I think that was a difficult part dealing with someone passing away. I guess the way I dealt with it was just trying to keep myself busy and talk to ppl. Also, just remembering all the good times and life lessons he had taught me.
Girl #1: A major setback I experienced in my life was 1.5 years ago when my college went on strike. I decided to drop out after 1 month of no classes. However, the setback was not the strike, it was what happened to me after the strike. After the strike I had alot of free time so I followed my sister to do some volunteer work. I went downtown with my sister to feed the homeless Downtown. When I got home that night I couldn't stop crying. For those who know me quite well, they know that I've been sheltered for most of my life. That experience must have struck a cord in me because I started hallucinating for weeks afterwards. By hallucination, I mean visual, auditory and tactical; I was completely disconnected from reality. It was the strangest and most terrifying thing I had ever experienced in my entire life; and it went on for months. I didnt seek help immediately because my mom did not believe in western medical treatments. I was even working at my new job with kids during this time, which is VERY dangerous. Eventually my sister called the cops and my boyfriend brought me to the hospital without my parents consent. I was diagnosed with early psychosis and was taken to the psychiatric ward for a week. remember leaving the ward on my birthday. At home I had to be under supervision for 24/hrs a day, and was prescribed many different kind of medications. What followed afterwards was another 16 weeks of therapy. I was not able to go anywhere but the hospital for half a year. I wanted to give up on my life so many times because I felt absolutely hopeless. What helped me to overcome this experience was a strong support system. I had my mom that stopped working to be with me, my dad to drive me to therapy 5 days a week, my boyfriend/sisters that would check up on my every now and then, many supportive doctors at hospital and believe it or not, music. Now that I look back, it just seems like one big nightmare, but it's made me more aware of mental health in today's society. Its definitely just as important as physical health, and I hope everyone can see that one day.
Guy #2: A setback that I faced in life was going to jail, it was not only a financial setback but also a mental one. I was nervous of all the outcomes of potentially having a criminal record, of actually being in jail for a few years, and all the other negative drawbacks of being convicted. Luckily I did get out of it, but it cost me a lot of money that I’m paying off until today. The way I deal with it though is that I stay optimistic and positive by thinking about how fortunate I am for so many other things in life. If you are grateful for what you have, then you never become greedy and lose what you have just to get more. Life’s not always about chasing, but it’s also about stopping and appreciating the view every once in a while. I take life one day at a time and enjoy each day as much as I can.
Girl #2: My set back was during grade 12 when I was applying to colleges! I applied for a vet tech program because I love animals but I am not the greatest at science or math and you have to do a test to get in. I failed my math one so I couldn’t get in. This really set me back because all the courses I took in high school was to specifically get me into a vet tech program. As I failed I had to tell my parents because they drove me to the test centres which were very far away. So I stayed back an extra semester at my high school and had to rethink what else I am really passionate about besides animals. So I decided to do Social service work at Seneca and I didn’t really finish the program I have two courses left to finish off which I am doing this summer. But once I get the diploma I have hit another brick wall. I am not as passionate for social work as I thought I would be. So after the diploma I really have to think what else do I like or maybe school just isn’t for me. It feels disappointing to have failed but I take it as a learning experience and that’s how I copped with it. At the same time I can explore other things that I might be interested in.
Guy #3: I still remember the times I failed finding a job in grade 12. At that age, I had no money. My parents would give me $20 a week for lunch on days they didn’t make food but that was it. You see other kids driving cars to school, buying food every day, getting snacks from the cafeteria, buying new clothes every week, having the latest pair of shoes. At that age, I wanted that. It was less about fitting in and more about being able to buy what I want without relying on my parents. With that said, I applied to a few jobs at community centres, summer camps, and retail stores. This was all a new experience for me. I didn’t know how to properly write a resume but I made one. I had to walk into stores and awkwardly ask if I can pass my resume to store managers. They would take it but I never had the confidence to believe they were interested. I then waited for calls back, hoping to get one or two. A few weeks pass by and nothing. I repeated the entire process for a month and still made zero progress. At that age, it does feel discouraging and affected my self-confidence. What did I do as a result? I basically gave up and believed I was not getting a job then. I spent my free time just playing video games or basketball outside. Looking back, I don’t regret that I didn’t have a job. I regret the mindset I had of giving up. I wish I approached people for help to finding a job. Today’s me, would never do that. I would ask for help if I need it. I learned over the years that people have connections. Your friend might know a friend who is hiring for a specific role that you have interest in. The world definitely works that way.
Girl #3: After University, I started working at a Fortune 1 Company in a New Graduate Rotational Program. When the program finished two years later, we had to apply internally for a permanent role. I applied to a handful of jobs but I didn’t get any of them - the most frustrating part was that I kept being told that it was because my years of experience. It wasn’t my work ethic. It wasn’t my intelligence. It wasn’t my attitude. Yet, it felt like it was. It didn’t matter that my peers and I were hearing the same reason - it still felt personal and terrible like I wasn’t good enough. There were days and weeks that I was so demotivated and completely checked out at work. I didn’t want to be there but I didn’t really have a choice. So, I dealt with it by pushing though because that was really all that I could do. Fast forward a couple of months and I found a great role in the exact department that I wanted, with what I can say is honestly the best team in the entire company. So, in hindsight, it all worked out how it was supposed to - if only I could’ve seen and believed that during all of the rejection!
Guy #4: About a year ago, I was given an opportunity that I have been waiting for a long time. During that time, I had a lot to deal with in my life and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this opportunity. Long story short, I hesitated and procrastinated, and the opportunity was gone by the time I took action. I definitely felt vert upset at myself and wished that I could have a second chance. To this day, I haven’t received a second chance and I am not even sure if this will every come by again. However, I think there are two things that I learned: 1) Similar to the advice above, always keep working and be prepared when your opportunity do arrive and 2) What’s meant to be yours will always find its way.
Girl #4: I guess when I got cheated on was a pretty bad experience?? I’ve been lucky enough to have a good childhood and get every job I applied to lol I’ve never been rejected by a guy either bc I never gain interest in a guy unless he asks me out so uhh yeah that was bad experience because I felt burdened by having to explain to people that we weren’t together. I think it’s a little messed up.. but I did see it coming so I was sad and I just stopped eating for a bit since I was stressed out. I just let myself go through the hurt and sadness and luckily had a lot of supportive friends with me to help me move past all the heartache. I think I didn’t fully deal with it for a while since I wanted to pretend everything was fine but day by day I accepted it for what it was and learned a lot from it
Girl #5: Rejection is definitely one of the toughest and most painful experiences for all humans. I had been seeing someone for a few months, and I thought it was going well, but one day (pretty much out of the blue), I got a message from him that he wanted to stop seeing each other. It hurt like heck even though we weren’t dating seriously, or even exclusively. It had probably hurt more since there wasn’t an obvious reason for him to want to stop seeing me like an argument or that he had met someone else, so it felt more personal and like there was something wrong with me. I kept overthinking things and raking over our time together in my mind about what I might have said or done wrong. It took weeks (maybe months) to accept that there didn’t have to be something wrong with me or him for things to not work out. Sometimes people only exist in your life for certain chapters. There wasn’t anything I could do to make myself feel better or get over it right away, but like the saying goes, time heals all wounds, and that’s what I needed to move on.
Girl #6: Throughout my life I never really experienced failure or setbacks. Things always seemed to fall into place exactly how I wanted. I got into my top university choice and even landed the job of my dreams right out of school. Once I started my first job I quickly realized that (unfortunately) this phase of my life was over. If I wanted to continue to be successful in my life and career I needed to take matters into my own hands. What really opened my eyes to this was my first promotion. I had been working my ass off and doing the job of someone 1-2 levels above me for 2+ years but wasn't getting considered for a promotion. I assumed if people around me thought I deserved a promotion I would just magically get one (this is called "the tiara syndrome" and women go through it all the time). When I finally had enough, I started to apply for jobs as I thought my time was done at my current company. I figured since I was anyways planning to leave I would be open with my manager and let her how I was feeling. I told her that I was way overdue for a promotion and guess what? That one conversation led me to getting a promotion a few weeks later. Imagine if I had that conversation a year earlier? Where would I be now? Although a small setback, it taught me that I need to speak up to get what I want and things don't just happen in the real world. People can't read your mind and only you know what you want and how you are feeling. Although speaking up and expressing how you feel can be super tough for certain people (especially me), I now know that if I don't speak up, it's only going to result in failure. Do you have too much work on your plate? Tell somebody. Is someone taking credit for your work? Let them know how you feel. Do you want a promotion? You have to ask for it! Remember, nothing in life is ever just given, it’s earned.
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