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"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." James 1:2-4

"Whatever you do in life, make sure you follow your heart. Nobody can see your vision like you can see it."

A personal blog, an unfiltered and uncensored place of expression, a personal journal.

EST 12/15/2009

Monday, April 20, 2020

Ask The Audience #5: Best Advice

Hey friends, so I finished my last exam a couple of days ago so I'm officially done my first year of college...but man it doesn't really feel like anything worth celebrating lol, in terms of like it should be 'summer' for me, but like we're all stuck at home obviously. What really sucks is how this also might affect next year in terms of placement or even if we'll be allowed to physically go to school lol. But anyways, March literally felt like 3 years...April literally felt like 3 days, it's already almost over. Side note, has anyone been keeping track of how many days they've been at home lol, I know it's definitey more than 30 for me...geez. But moving on, a lot of the content on this blog revolves around me sharing my experiences, giving so called 'advice' to you guys to interpret and use however you want, so I kinda ran with that idea for today's question. Previous ATA's (Ask The Audience) will be linked below as usual.

Ask The Audience #3: Best Dating Experience
Ask The Audience #4: Worst Dating Experience

For today's question, I asked the audience...

What's the best advice you've received (explain the context as well)?

Guy #1: Growing up I always wished for the easy way out and expected a simple life. My birthday wishes were wasted on materialistic aspects of life and my prayers were always based around having an easy life. I wanted the best for myself and would always avoid adversity. But life isn’t as easy as you expect it to be. To get where you want in life you need to endure trial and tribulations. Life isn’t just given to you, its earned. My mom once told me, “Don’t pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.” What exactly does this mean? Well, you always need to be ready for what life gives you. You’re not always going to have it your way. Life isn’t meant to be easy. In order to grow as a human you need to be challenged and pushed to your limits. Don’t wish for life to be easy... because it won’t be. Expect to work hard for anything and everything. If everyone had an easy life failure wouldn’t exist, adversity wouldn’t exist, actual life wouldn’t exist. At the end of the day it all comes down to your perspective. Do you think your life is going to be easy? Do you think you’re ready for anything life throws at you? If your answer is yes...well you’re in for a helluva ride.
Girl #:1 One of the best pieces of advice I’ve seen is something I read on a subreddit for people with anxiety. Someone posted about how their therapist had given them one minute to list as many really embarrassing moments that they had seen from other people. Turns out, it’s really hard to think of that many or pretty much any at all. As someone who struggles with anxiety, and who is really hard on themselves, it helped to put things into perspective and to let go of the embarrassment over small things that don’t matter since no one probably remembers them anyway. 

Guy #2: The best advice I have ever gotten was when someone told me that when they go for an interview, they always have the mindset that they have more knowledge than the person who’s interviewing them. This way, they are more confident when going into the interview because they think they’re the smartest, most talented person in that room. And there’s nothing to make them nervous because in their head, they already have the job. This mindset I have used for not only interviews, but everything in life. I think it’s important to be confident in everything you do. So if you think you’re the smartest, most talented person in that room, you’ll have the confidence to talk to anyone, to share your knowledge, to try new things, to be adventurous, and to take risks, because you know you are capable of all these things.
Girl #2: One advice I have gotten was to really sit down and talk to my sister about going to therapy. My sister has major anxiety and it’s usually around extended families like cousins, aunts, uncles etc. So my sister broke down two times at two different family events. So one of my older cousins and his wife sat down with me to ask me what’s going on and I explained everything to them. They gave me the advice to sit down with my sister and just truly tell her how much I care about her and her mental health. Months before that I tried to talk my sister into therapy but wasn’t pushing it. But after taking my cousin and his wife’s advice to sit down and talk to her, my sister is now filling out the forms for therapy! Best part is that the therapy is free because it is non profit! 

Guy #3: The best piece of advice I received is from a close friend when I felt lost in my life and not sure if I should give up. This advice serves much more like a reminder, pretty much built on the idea of “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour”. Sometimes in life we feel like what we do is so insignificant, and we wonder should keep pushing ourselves to do the same thing every single day. We now live in the world of instant gratification and wanting to see results immediately. The thought of giving up comes by when we see setbacks, and we start to doubt our beliefs. Maybe your extra effort at work isn’t noticed by your manager, or maybe your body isn’t at its peak even after months of diet and workout, and you want to give up. But we need to look ahead and see the bigger picture. “Success” may take weeks, months, or years to come by, but if definitely won’t arrive if you give up now.
Girl #3: As cliche as it sounds, the best piece of advice that I have received is to be grateful for what you have. When things are going wrong, it is so easy for me (and probably most people) to forget all of the things that you should be grateful for and just focus on the negative. It is a really bad habit and it honestly takes tons and tons of effort and practice to change your innate way of thinking. In those moments, I have found it very helpful to reflect and actually list out all of things that I have to be grateful for. I hope that one day it becomes more natural but for now, it’s a step in the right direction. 

Guy #4: I think the best advice for relationships someone had ever given me is knowing that there is always someone who's going to be better than your past relationship. Just in the sense of knowing that if your current relationship don't work out, it's ok. It sucks for sure but just know that it happened for a reason and there is someone out there that is going to be better suited for you.
Girl #4: Unfortunately, I don’t get much advice from people because they come to me with their problems and in my hardest timws growing up, I didn’t make friends so it was through reading (classical lit. lol) that I learned to stop trying to find myself. Whoever I am in that moment is a valid part of who I am and to categorize myself would just be me limiting myself. 

Guy #5: The first advice is fairly common which is, “treat people the way you want to be treated.” Obvious everyone has heard this before and it’s frequently mentioned, however, it’s something I really stick by. What does that really mean to me? Firstly, it means showing respect. That includes not talking down on people, not being arrogant in a situation with others that you feel comfortable in, not assuming things, and valuing other people’s opinions. Imagine being around an individual or group, in any setting, and experiencing one of the four mentioned points. How would that make you feel? Obviously not good. More importantly, it reflects on your brand. It’s how people remember you, it’s your character. To be fair, sometimes we do things unknowingly and don’t realize the impact it has on others. A little bit of a tangent here, but how do we change that? Self-reflection. The key is developing better habits. Reflect on what you did well and what you could do better as a person. It could be as simple as, “I should’ve handled this conversation better with an employee I had at Walmart by not being rude.” It really applies to any situation in life – family, friends, co-workers, and strangers. I need to share this second piece of advice because I feel like some people struggle to grasp it. “Wealth accumulation.” Those words were said to me, and I always come back to it every day. What does that mean to me? It means growing your money over time. How? By taking a larger percentage of your disposable income and finding ways for it to appreciate in value. Everyone’s situation is different and that is why I mention disposable income – the income you have available after other financial commitments have been paid for. It starts with financial education. Questions like, “what is the difference between a TFSA vs. RRSP?” “Should I buy or lease a car?” “Which credit card provides the most value for my situation?” “What are stocks?” Most importantly it’s about understanding what your financial goals are to live the lifestyle you want now AND in the future.
Girl #5: Whenever I encounter a bad situation in life, I like to ask myself what can I learn from it. This helps to view the complicated matter with a positive mindset. At the same time, it helps to avoid dwelling with negative emotions and spiralling into hopeless thoughts. This piece of advice was found in a book by Paulo Coelho, however, I do not remember the title of the book because I read every single one of his books. You might know him as the writer of "The Alchemist". It was after my first breakup, that I started seeking answers to many questions that were left unanswered. Thats when I found this gem in the self-help section of Indigo. So far this has helped me to overcome many terrible experiences on my journey, so I highly encourage you to try it yourself sometime

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