When one door closes, another one opens right? When God shuts down something you had planned, it's cuz he has something better in store for you, right? Frick, it's so tough...knowing these things, knowing God has a plan for me, knowing that everything he does is for my good whether I know it or not. But when push comes to shove, it's hard putting your money where your mouth is. I don't really know how I feel right now...very pessimistic that's for sure...discouraged, frustrated, disappointed. You expect, want and hope for something so dearly and pray for it constantly...but it gets shut down...time and time again...you start to wonder if maybe this is the door you're meant to walk through. That just cuz it's something you want or think is meant for you doesn't mean it's what God has planned for you. The future is such a scary thing and I feel like I'm at an age where literally "the future is now". God, I don't know what to do...I'm struggling to find purpose...struggling in trusting and waiting for the plan that you have for me. I'm staring at the tattoo on my arm right now...the words I CHOSE to have on my body as a reminder to myself everyday...that the testing of my faith produces perseverance...I'm praying and hoping that this test, this trial, this hurdle I'm stumbling through right now will only serve to help me grow as a man and as a child of God. Despite having a plan for myself, I know you have something greater planned for me, whether that coincides with my plans for myself or not...I'm not asking for you to reveal what those plans are, it doesn't matter...I'm praying for faith through EVERY circumstance I'm thrown in that might cross with my plans. I'm praying that through every failure, rejection, stumble and fall...that my faith in you will only grow stronger and you will ultimately be glorified in all these things.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9
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