But I'm Not A Rapper...

One thing that I've been keeping to myself lately, like haven't told anyone...is that I've been writing a lot. It's not that big a deal, not like a secret or anything...but it's something that I've been doing a lot. Just about things that have been on my mind...a lot of things I write about don't make it into the blog...too personal or maybe just lazy lol...but I've been writing a lot...got lots of things lined up, but don't have the time or resources to go record. But I was writing this afternoon cuz something just sparked in me...it's just about being yourself I guess...and how I'm naturally just a shy person...antisocial is what some may call it as well lol. I dunno...I like who I am...I'm not saying that I hate making new friends...I guess I'm just not good at it. Unless it's like a comfortable surrounding or environment...like I can make friends so easily playing basketball or something lol...but other times I'm just awkward and I prefer to keep to my comfort zone or keep to the people I know and am comfortable with. Is that wrong? And just in case you might read this, I'm not mad about today, lol it just made me think a lot...and I didn't say it at the time cuz I honestly just thought about it all right now...so I'm sorry lol, you always complain I don't tell you things or I don't say what's on my mind, but whatever is on my mind at the moment, I really do share it with you honestly. But yeah...today just made me think about the kind of person I am I guess. The boys I hang out with...they're like my little escape if you will...you think we're immature or we joke too much lol, which may be true...but they're my escape...when I'm with them, when we joke...it's pure laughs and fun times, no stress or anything you know...it's just nice and easy and simple...that's why I love chilling with them...it's probably one of the only times I do get to be immature and just be jokes and act like a kid...they honestly bring out the happy side in me. To those who think I'm quiet or hard to approach...I'm sorry lol, that's honestly just the kind of person I am, don't take it the wrong way...and I guess you should feel special if I do trust you enough to tell you what's in my heart and what's in my head...but yeah, I'm trying to change lol, but it's not easy...communication and making friends is a two way street. But I'm trying...just know it's not easy for me. How did I get wrong talking about writing to this...LOL