We Broke Up In My Dreams

 

So when I have really juicy dreams, the minute I wake up I grab my phone and try to write down as much as I can remember and I try to be as detailed as possible because I remember reading something where it’s like the moment you wake up, you forget like 80% of your dreams within like a few seconds. So I try to just write down as much as I can, as much detail and whatever key words that’ll trigger me. But usually key words aren’t even that helpful cuz I’ll look at it and be like wtf does that even mean lol so I try to be as detailed as possible. I wrote this one sometime in the beginning of the dear when I was seeing this one girl. We had been on a bunch of dates but we were also like very different personality wise, but we got along really well. Anyways, so reading the dream now and then thinking back to what happened…she actually ended things with me like maybe 3 weeks later LOOOL, maybe that dream was a premonition lol. So I was looking at old conversations with her, cuz I’m a hoarder and I can’t bring to myself to delete that stuff, and she was like yeah at first I wasn’t gonna respond to your messages but then I did and we went from there. To give some context, she was a really sweet, Christian girl, I had like just dyed my hair blonde and I hadn’t been going to church for several months lol. So I was like hey, be honest did the blonde hair and tattoos throw you off…she’s like yeah I honestly thought you were like a goon, but turns out you’re a really nice guy LOOOL. Which is honestly what a good majority of people say to me when they meet me, especially since I give off a pretty RBF and a pretty cold shoulder until you talk to me LOL. Anyways yeah clearly it didn’t work out with her and it was one of those things where she was like oh so I’m looking for a Christian guy to kinda lead me in a relationship. To which I understood at the time ut also had trouble grasping cuz I had told her how I grew up Christian but was kinda in a phase of just figuring things out in my life but I definitely saw myself getting back to that point. So I was def hurt and had trouble grasping what she wanted, but fast forward to the present, I saw she was dating some dude and I was happy for her…well actually, I saw it and I wasn’t sure how I felt LOL, I was like should I be feeling a way right now? Then I was like nah, she was genuinely right…the life that I’m living right now and how I am, I definitely would’ve dragged her down and it wouldn’t have been healthy for her. Man…talk about the whole “when you talk about things, they get more easy to talk about” LOL, def didn’t like talking about this at first cuz it sucked, but I’m at the point now where I can look back, laugh and even be like well she was right to cut it off cuz I wouldn’t have been good for her in the long run and realistically, she probs wasn’t good for me. It’s always nice to be able to sit and reflect on things, even things that happened recently (even tho it feels like it happened years ago) and think about what they taught you and what you learned from it. So till next time…PEACE.