Losing My Balance

I'm reminded of the J. Cole song Losing My Balance...except my balance is something different. It's always interesting when summer rolls around for those who are in school. When summer rolls around, some people complain that there's too much free time and can't wait for school to start. That's kinda where I am right now...it's pretty much summer for me since I'm done school...if I get into teacher's college, that won't be till September, so I'm free till then. For now, I'm still volunteering and hopefully looking for a job as well. But in the meantime, I find myself having TOO MUCH free time on my hands...ironic eh. When I'm busy and stressed, all I want is free time, time to myself, time to do nothing. Now that I have all that time, I want something to do, something to pass that time. It's funny talking to people who are super busy with work or school and look at me and think I'm living the life because I have so much free time, but at the same time I look at them and see that every minute of most days for them is taken up and being used productively. I'm not saying  I envy them, but I'm  just saying it's funny how the busy person wants to be the  free person, and in some senses the free person wants to be the busy person. It's really hard finding that balance of work and play you know what I'm saying. Too much free time will drive you crazy cuz you won't know what to do with it...too much work will overwhelm  you and drain you. I'm struggling right now trying to find that sense of productivity and not just wasting my life away every day watching shows or playing video games, it's hard I must admit tho considering everyone else is at school or work so I can't just hit up anybody at any time, but it's something I'm being very patient about...this balance between work and play is hard for sure...but I'm trying not to let it eat at me, cuz legit today, I was feeling stressed for some reason, I thought about it and I was like wait, why am I stressed...I don't have any work to do, any assignments to complete or any classes to attend...so I took a deep breath and relaxed, it was hella weird lemme tell you that lol.