Growing Pains

It's been a rough start to the new year, what can I say,,,and this break was much needed. I'm still not really back to myself, but I do have a lot to say. The future seems to be the heart of all my conversations as of late...and with that comes change, good and bad and also growing up. I feel like life is moving really slow for me...but everyone is zooming past me...like I'm driving in the slow lane and everyone is passing me. Things aren't the same...and they never will be, cuz we're all growing up, and it sucks. I'm still in the phase where I wanna chill and play ball with the boys...have sleepovers...spend entire days gaming...things like that, those were the days. And I still see myself doing those things with the homies...but everyone's busy...with life. My close friends that I've known since elementary school are getting married...graduating...moving away...getting jobs...growing up. It seems like no one has time for anything anymore...but school, work and things of the sort. Literally I find myself on an island by myself, trying to relive the old days...holding onto my youth...but you can't stop growing up...and it sucks a lot. Just thinking a few years ago...playing ball outside, gaming all day, taking walks at the park...not it seems like there's no time for any of that. All my friends are too busy...with life...and it seems like they're all growing up faster than I am...graduating, getting jobs, getting boyfriends/girlfriends...they're moving on to a different stage in life...and part of me is unwilling to let go of that youth, the fun times and carefree times and move on with them...I dunno...it honestly sucks...all my friends seem like they don't have time for anything...for me...while I have all the time in the world. Damn...