From The Heart: Untitled

I don't wanna fuss and fight no more
I'm tryna move on but my foot's stuck in the door
Memories of you constantly running through my head
Voices in my mind replaying all the words you said
People who dwell in the past are doomed to repeat it
You said you'd always have my back, I actually believed it
We've gone from friends...to not even acknowledging each other
You were one of the closest women in my life besides my mother
Lately it just seems that you don't feel the same that I do
That you don't care about this relationship as much as I do
I'm writing words upon words but you'll still never know
You misinterpret what I say and ignore that actions that I show

I'm done....I can't do this...I feel like we're on opposite sides of a teeter totter...there's balance....but I feel like we need each other, maybe I need you more...maybe it's vice versa. But neither one of us is willing to get off our side...it'll throw off the balance...and we're scared...of falling...of getting hurt. There are so many things I wanna say...but I don't know how...my lips freeze and all my words leave me...so I write them down...hoping you'll see it....and if you don't...we'll continue to go our separate ways...until we can no longer see each other in the distance...and the only thing we have of each other is our memories....until that fades away. I never wanted this to happen, the fact that it became this big out of something so small and stupid now that I think of it...is ridiculous. We're both too stubborn...too approach one another...too lazy to approach one another...too prideful to approach the situation. So we mask it...by saying we don't care...I notice you and I know you notice me too, but I can't let you see that I'm hurting...so I don't think about it, but when I don't think about it, the more I think about it. We've been through a lot...I mean a lot....and we've endured it all....maybe this...is just....another one of those things....that will really test us...but I dunno...for now...I'll just go with the flow...and pray...that there is a plan for all this....that we'll be led back to one another...and if not...led our separate ways...I dunno man....lately I haven't been motivated to write...blog...anything....and if you've read up to here....then....just stick with me through this....the past few days I've contemplated stopping this all for a while...the blog...errthing...but it's just gotten so much bigger than me...that I feel like it's becoming more of an obligation then something fun to do. But i'm still gonna do it...and give you more of my heart...I dunno how to end it...if you read the whole thing....I really appreciate it.

Yeah I moved it up in the blog....not for attention....but I just to get my feelings out there...so I guess kinda for attention...but I dunno...LOL leave me alone....-_-