Emotional Connections & Attachments

I think I\m definitely somebody that holds on or has a hard time letting go of like emotional attachment. Like what does that even mean...well I feel like even the tiniest emotional connections that I make with someone can have a significant impact on me and it's something that I'll always think about from time to time. Whether it's an ex, a friend you don't talk to anymore, a coworker you don't work with anymore or even just a girl you went on a date with...I feel like for me, when I build or have even the smallest cmotional connection with someone, I just feel bonded to them and in a weird way they have like a special place in my heart...or mind, probably mind cuz I don\t really feel a significant way about it but it is something that I think about frequently. Sometimes I feel like I hate that about myself or see it as a weird weakness that I can't let these things go that in the bigger picture of my life don't really hold much value. Like I'm someone who's a sucker for personal conversations, deep talks, really good vibes, just sharing your personal life and experiences with one another...like I live for that stuff but I also get not everyone is open to sharing their personal life right away or at all, but it is something I'll try to pry and push in conversation cuz that's just the kinda person I am and those are the things I like ti talk about. I know I say pry and push but I swear I'm not annoying about it lol or at least I hope I'm not. But continuing on, so when I feel like I've shared a personal/intimate moment with someone whether through a real dope conversation, sharing of life stories or just really good vibes...it holds a sentimental place in my heart and it's something I think often frequently which also leads me to think of the person is is about as well. Like I'm talking about girls I've went on one or even two dates with, I'll think about that person and feel a way because we shared a real dope moment or had some really cool conversations. Or friends I don't talk to anymore, whether we were good friends for a long or short period of time...if we shared a dope moment together, it's something that I like connect to that person and it makes me think of them when I think of that moment. Like for example when my car battery died at the mall one time cuz I left the headlight on during my shift at work, my boy was chilling with his girl, he drove like 45 minutes to jumpstart my car...now we were really close friends for one summer and we don't talk anymore but when I think about that, I think about him and I get happpy and also sad. Or one friend where we spent one summer literally chilling everyday...driving range, loitering at the mall, food runs, cottage...then we argued over money and some stupid shit and we're not friends anymore...but I attach those memories to him and like when I think about it, I think about it and I can never really truly let go or erase these people from my heart cuz we shared something super dope that I hold in a real sentimental place in my heart. It's kinda weird like I said cuz even some people who are legit strangers essentially..like girls I've went on one date with but maybe we had a really good time or just had some dope conversations, I'll randomly stumble onto an old text conversation and think about our date and our conversations and it\ll make me feel a way. Which is why I have trouble like understanding how people can just cut someone off right then and there lol...whether a friend, an ex, whoever...like I'm so emotionally attached to memories and moments and shared life experiences and events that I can't just cut a person off cuz that would mean like removing or forgetting that memory that I had or that life experience that I went through and I just can't do that. I hope I'm not like rambling lol it's just something I find myself thinking about constantly...girls that I went on dates with, friends I don't really talk to anymore...people that you would probably look at me and be like they're literally no one to you lol which is true...but like the memories and moments that they're attached to hold value to me and in turn, they give that person value or it gives me a reason to like not erase that person from my life. I hope all this makes sense lol, whenever I write it makes sense in my head but I also fear that it just comes out as a jumbled mess lol. Till next time, PEACE.