Getting Over You

You know that meme where it says like oh you ever break up with someone you were never really dating in the first place, but say like you were talking to or seeing each other for a while and like invested a lot of time and overall energy into each other. Yeah that's kinda been the story of my life lately lol. I wanna say like late last year to the beginning of this year I was talking/seeing this one girl and it just didn't work out for a variety of reasons, but if it had to be one it was probably the fact that I wasn't right for her or what she was looking for so she cut it off. Fast forward a few months later and I started talking to another girl pre quarantine and same deal, you talk for a while, you get to know one another and a few months pass and you're like invested into each others lives. This one didn't really work out either, and it was something I had to literally have my friends force me to cut off because it just wasn't healthy for me. It's funny cuz she was like "I don't wanna be another post in your blog", yet somehow here we are LOL, who knows if she'll even read this. But anyways, in both of these instances, it hurt and it was tough to get through. I've had a few conversations with a friend going through like a legit breakup with his girlfriend and as cliche as it sounds, time heals all. As time passes, you start to think about them less, less urges to message them or check their socials and soon enough...you realize you don't really think about them at all anymore...or you'll think about them and not feel anything. Sometimes it happens overnight, most often times it's a slow burn. I think that initial period of like 'post break up' is always the worst cuz it's still fresh, you're trying to process it and all you're really doing is thinking about it lol. Everyone copes with getting over someone differently and you have to find what works for you. For me...sometimes you just wanna be sad, you wanna listen to sad songs and just kinda sit there and sulk...and that's okay...but only for the first little bit. Eventually you have to pick yourself up and keep moving forward because life goes on and so should you. Then it moreso becomes 'distracting' yourself or just going about your normal day and keeping busy. Whether it's going to the gym, cleaning your room, writing, drawing, you name it. On the flip side there's putting yourself back out there, not even with the intentions to find someone else of like a 'replacement', but just to meet new people, have fun and remind yourself there are plenty of fish in the sea. Lemme tell you that I\m learning about myself each and everyday, when I'm faced and put in different situations and dealing with different friendship and relationship issues. No matter how old I get, there's always more to learn about myself and how I approach people and situations. With relationships for example, you learn about what qualities you enjoy and look for in a partner. You have things that are like non negotiables, things that your partner must have. You also learn about things that you dislike but can tolerate and you also learn about red flags, things that would disqualify someone as a potential partner. It's interesting because sometimes, affection and connection is so strong that you kinda convince yourself that maybe their red flags aren't that bad, and that can be dangerous moving forward and down the line in your relationship. If I've learned anything from failed relationships and potential partners, two important things I have to stress are one...don't neglect your own needs, mental health and overall happiness, two...trust your friends, they're seeing things more objectively and rationally than you are and can give you better insight on things. Getting over an ex or somebody you've been talking to for a while is never easy...but it always gets better and I'm happy to have friends that always remind me that just cuz you really want something to work out doesn't mean it's good for you or that it's supposed to work out...and that there's always something better out there, but you'll never find it if you're too busy being sad and hung up on what didn't work out. So keep your head up and keep moving forward.