Hey friends, hope you're doing well. If y'all aren't interested in my journey to becoming a teacher, then this post probably isn't for you lol, you've been warned. If you're interested in heartbreak, girl stories and such...then you're outta luck lol. As of late, I'm in a very good place mentally, emotionally, physically...it's funny cuz I seem to be surrounded by people who aren't in good places emotionally...but I'm doing perfectly fine. I'm in a really good spot right now, like really content...the things that I'm struggling with right now aren't really things that I would say are stressing me out...it's moreso me figuring it out, like doing a puzzle or something. So anyways, I was volunteering yesterday and I was marking this writing assignment the kids were doing about mental illness and depression. As of late, I've been very aware and sensitive to the people around me...that even though someone is smiling on the outside doesn't necessarily mean everything is okay. That just because you see their life right in front of you and it seems all good, they have things inside that they're struggling with. So anyways...the kids were assigned to write a letter to a friend about mental illness, what they've been learning and such...it could be writing to someone with mental illness or someone who knows someone with mental illness. So I was marking this girl's assignment and it hit me really hard because everything she said was spot on...and it felt like she was speaking from personal experience. So I told my teacher what she wrote about and how it really hit me hard and I felt really compelled to pull her aside and ask if everything was alright. He encouraged me to do so and gave me the green light. During recess I asked if I could speak to her, I told her I read her assignment and that it was really good, she really hit the nail in terms of being compassionate, supportive and empathetic and just asked how she was and such because it seemed like she knew a lot about this topic/had a lot of experience and she shared with me that she used to struggle with depression so the assignment hit close to home with her and we sat there and had a good talk. I told her I appreciated her opening up to me the way she did and she thanked me and told me that she thought I would make a great teacher one day. Geez...my heart sank man cuz she got pretty emotional talking about her friend, it was a moment is all I can say. I'm not even saying this to boost my own ego...I'm saying this because looks can be deceiving...when I read her assignment, it's something I would have never expected because she seemed like such a happy go lucky girl...she gets good grades,she's on the basketball and volleyball team...but again, looks can be deceiving. This isn't me telling you I'm a good teacher, this is me sharing with y'all an experience I won't forget anytime...but moreso that no one has it fully together...if it seems like it does, all it means is that they're good at covering it up and putting up a front. Everyone has problems, things they struggle with and suppress internally. Even looking at my close friends who I know are struggling...other people tell me they see my friends and are like wow they look so happy and cheerful all the time, but in my head, I'm like if you only knew.
Sidebar...I love my relationship with my teacher lol. We were joking about teacher's college and stuff and I said something and he was like man, if you said that to any other teacher, you'd probably get in trouble LOOOL. I was like bro (I said bro), if I was with any other teacher I'd be totally different, definitely more reserved and less chill and more professional lol. So I'm definitely thankful for this opportunity because I get to be myself...it's literally like talking to my friend (I said that to him) lol.
But yeah, nobody has it 100% together, some people are just better at covering it up than others...I feel like I'm in a the middle depending on the circumstance and situation,. Sometimes, it's blatantly obvious on my face that I'm sad or going through something...other times you'd never know I go through problems cuz I'm always smiling and laughing obnoxiously loud LOL. Hope y'all enjoyed reading this, if not...sorry not sorry, PEEEEEACE.
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